If u don't already know about it, I highly recommend the websites http://offbeatbride.com/ , and http://kvetch.indiebride.com/kvetch/ . They are like a breath of fresh air!

Sorry you have to jump through so much red tape! I agree, the check to Homeland Security is odd...I wonder what they claim is the justification for that charge?

(P.S. my captcha is "military coxcombs"...hmm...maybe I'm asking too many questions...).

I'm not even a fiance and I get hives just thinking about planning a wedding. Good luck having with the visa crap (Seriously almost 500 bucks to Homeland Security?!?) and getting married in Brooklyn and having a fabulous party!

I've been through the same thing. Except I moved from England to Mexico and my fiance crossed the border and worked from our rented house there 4 days a week. Fun times!

When I got married five years ago, the only thing about our wedding that I made any real decision about was my wedding dress and shoes. The planning of the actual event, selecting flowers, food, etc. was left up to my mother, father, and mother-in-law. I preferred to marry on the beach and have a BBQ afterwards (we live in Miami), but the families wouldn't hear of it. Every time they attempted to get me involved in the decision-making process I reminded them that I only agreed to have the wedding if I could just show up. Needless to say, we had an amazing time and I was able to avoid most of the stress and headaches.

I feel for you Sarah! I went through the same exact thing with the government. Except you're lucky because you're in London together. My fiance and I met online in 2001. We were engaged in Nov. 2003, and then began the U.S. fiancé visa process in Feb of 2004. We lived in seperate countries until the process was completed, which increased our communication skills, but sucked royally.

We ended up with three wedding dates. The first was Sept 18, 2004. Can't remember what made us think that would work, but we did. But then it was pushed back and it became Oct 23, 2004. And finally it was pushed again to November 6, 2004. He came over just three weeks shy of that and thankfully our church and reception site could handle any of those dates.

I think we paid somewhere around $1,000 to the government by the time the full process was completed. Annoying, but at least it's done now. He's got the full 10-year "greencard" now and we shouldn't have to deal with the government for at least a few more years. :-)

People. As a lover of all things "dooce" (the washing machine screed was EPIC), I have to comment. As I understand it, this blog and probably most of the followers are of the liberal political persuasion. So, let me ask the following question:

If our government is so completely screwed up that two lovely people can't get married without forking over tons of cash and jumping through hoops set by mindless bureaucrats who probably couldn't pass 2nd grade, then why why WHY do you think they can handle our health care system!?! And if you want all these awesome entitlement programs, where do you expect the cash to come from, if not from foreigners who want to marry into our country by paying through the nose to Homeland Security?

Sorry Sarah. For all I know you are not of the liberal persuasion and thus I am just intruding on a lovely discussion about how exciting it is to get married. So regardless of your political affiliation, congrats! Marriage is awesome and I recommend www.apracticalwedding.com. A lot of great stories and discussions about weddings and marriage with nary a mention of how you simply MUST spend AT LEAST 50 bucks on each individual party favor or else your guests will think you HATE them.

I went through a similar process, trying to get my American boyfriend a visa to come here to England. It's a pain, so stressful, and the amount of money... ugh.

My brother is currently planning his wedding, but having just bought a house, they're sort of cleared out. So the plan now is to take his family and closest friends to a pretty hotel in the country, and have everybody contribute something - my boyfriend will do the photography, I've volunteered to make a cake and/or knit little wedding favours (I'm sure he'll regret that one). I've got to say, it sounds like a perfect wedding to me.

I'm currently planning a wedding for next summer, and I bought one of those awful bridal magazines that made me want to run through the streets screaming. I don't want to take out a home loan for my wedding, nor do I need to have gold lined pearl encrusted personalized napkins. I don't like being told what I should do, what I absolutely have to have or how my event should be. I just want a party?

Off Beat Bride is the best website ever, but you probably know that already. If you do, you may have seen this website for dresses: http://www.wai-ching.com/

While some of the dresses are white or floor length, they are so unique and interesting and very non-bride bridal wear.

I already bought my dress on etsy much to my coworkers' horror. "You mean you can't try it on first?!?!?!?" "What if you don't like it?" Look, I've seen it, so I know already I like it, and um, I buy clothing online all the time and it fits just fine. It doesn't have to be the most PERFECT PERFECT THAT EVER PERFECTED or anything. It's just a pretty dress.

Yeah, most wedding stuff kind of blows but one really awesome part? Everyone standing up as you walk into the room! Seriously, when does that happen nowadays? Unless of course you are the President or something.

I can so relate! And I second Tobie on visiting Offbeat Bride, it’s a great website with a fab community.

My fiancée and I are living in London and got engaged recently. We’ve decided to get married back home in Australia early next year, partly because I have to go back to apply for another visa to extend my stay. This also includes handing over a dirty wad of cash and proving that we’re in a relationship amongst other things. I wish I could include a photo of the two of us in a comprising position and then act all surprised when the reviewing officer freaks out, you know, with ‘but you said you wanted proof!’. I won’t.

I’m ‘not exactly bridal’ either, the thought of putting my life on hold for a year or more to just PLAN PLAN PLAN gives me a headache, I've got much better things to do with my time. We’re getting married at Town Hall and then going to a lovely little Spanish place for a tapas cocktail reception. Small guest list. No wedding party. My fiancée will wear his kilt! Took a few weeks of researching and planning and now we don't have to do anything wedding related for months. Bliss!

BTW, when the time comes to arrange a dress I’m going to visit a place called Fur Coat No Knickers in Carnaby St. The ladies running the place are costumes designers from the West End who customise vintage bridal dresses. There’s a tip for ya!

Love the Steel Magnolias title!

My evil bitch cousin has a 6 month old son named Jackson Henry. Honest. This post just made my day.

I did have a wedding, and there were flowers, but I honestly didn't pick them out. I called a florist, told him the date and that I wanted some flowers. He asked what kind. I said "uh, pretty ones, but no roses". I mean... they're FLOWERS. What's the worst that could happen? How ugly could they be? He probably thought I was crazy, but at the end of the day the flowers were pretty AND I saved about 3 weeks of my life not having to pick them all out.

I was one to have our wedding in a gazebo on the courthouse lawn with a jp. I wore a blue sundress that I still wear (it's been 10 years). I was never into the big weddings, which is sort of funny considering I'm a wedding photographer now. I still don't see all the sense in spending that much on a day, or $2000 on a dress. I even feel bad charging what I do for the photography, but they pay it. Crazy.

I second the Off Beat Bride website and especially A Practical Wedding. I'm glad someone else already mentioned them. Even if you're not doing anything more than the courthouse they have great stuff. I read it alot and I'm not even properly engaged yet.

Great, now I'm going to be walking around repeating "her COLORS are PINK and PINK" in my deepest southern accent all day.

Congrats on the hot English fiance! Do you ever make him read aloud to you and just turn to jello? What is it about that accent? Instantly adds a couple points on the hotness scale.