Where am I?
Surprisingly, only a few dozen people have written to chastise me about the state of my masthead, most of them quick to say hey you, blogger who blogs on her Internet blog, don't you know what month it is? Let's just for a moment consider that I haven't once had more than two consecutive hours of sleep in the last three weeks. Dude, I have no idea what year it is. I'm lucky to remember my name most days and have more than once said, "Yes, dear?" when Jon called out for Chuck.
I'm aiming to have something new up in the next few days, I promise, if only because there was this one guy who was REALLY SERIOUS about what a bad example I'm setting for the kids by having that unlit cigarette hanging out of my mouth, especially SINCE I WAS PREGNANT AND ALL, and was I aware of the potentially awful things that cigarette smoke could do to an unborn baby? Hmmm... I'm pretty sure the angels in heaven forgot to turn on the portion of his brain that recognizes sarcasm, or maybe this guy just needs a quick one up the pooper.
Things got even more complicated around here at about 4AM Saturday morning when I woke up to feed Marlo and my left breast felt like someone had sliced it open and shoved in a handful of broken glass. I thought I'd try to ignore it, and oh, moan in silence? Bite my lip until I was drowning in a puddle of blood? What was I thinking, YOU CANNOT IGNORE THAT KIND OF PAIN. So I tapped a sleeping Jon on the shoulder and whispered, "Honey, can you take the baby, I think I'm dying."
I immediately headed for the kitchen where we keep the Advil, and I don't even remember how I made it the fifty or so feet from the bed to the medicine cabinet, but there I am taking a couple of pills and next thing you know I can barely stand up. And I guess while reaching for the countertop to steady myself I knocked over the glass of water I used to take the pills and it went crashing into a thousand pieces on the floor. Somehow I make it back to the bedroom when suddenly I'm overcome with the need to puke, and Jon is all, what was that crash? And I'm all, what crash? And he's all, THE CRASH THAT SOUNDED LIKE A CAR FLEW THROUGH OUR FRONT DOOR. And I'm all, why are you moving your mouth and talking to me, can't you see I need to vomit?
Several Google searches later and I realize I have mastitis. If you want to know more about this condition just go click that link, but if you're looking for the condensed definition it's basically inflammation and infection of the breast tissue that can be caused by a clogged milk duct or bacteria that has somehow made its way in through the nipple. Sounds fun, I know, it's been nothing but giggles, balloons, and pony rides over here, except for the twelve hours I spent in bed yesterday with chills, aches, and a 102 degree fever. My doc called in a prescription for antibiotics, and they finally kicked in last night, and the relief I felt was not unlike what I imagine Marlo feels when she wakes up from a nap, sees the outline of my boob and is all SHUT UP, ANOTHER BUFFET?!
So I'm eating yogurt with probiotics to try and avoid the possibility of thrush, and I'm continuing to rest to make sure my body can adequately fight the infection. That last part is proving to be the most frustrating aspect of this because all I want to do is get up and organize my now completely disheveled life, starting with maybe, you know, updating the bad example that is my current masthead. For the kids. Who read this website after playing Barbies and singing along to the High School Musical soundtrack. Hi, guys! I think Zac Efron is totally doable, too!! LOLZ!!
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
301. Rose said:
Ouch! I had boob troubles with both of my babies. I'm sorry--it's a pain like no other.
I have said so many times that it is totally unfair that we women have to birth the babies AND breastfeed them, too. I mean, what kind of bum deal is that?
Hope your "girls" are feeling better soon. Get lots of rest and drink tons of water.
And I happen to like the masthead.
302. Christy said:
Dear Commenter #273,
Re: your comment which included the phrase: "well i guess i can see where the masthead emails come from; this *is* your main source of revenue/business (no?), and if you're half as smart a businesswoman as you appear, i would have thought you'd have prepared for your maternity leave."
Hmm..I think she DID prepare for her maternity leave by preparing the baby's room, her daughter Leta AND the dogs for the big event. As well as posting up until the minute she gave birth.
I assume you have never had a child (no?)? Or if you did he/she came home to a cardboard box because all you did was prepare your cubicle for your departure? Quit being such a douchebag!
Sincerely,
The Internet
303. Amy said:
Ask your doctor if you can take acidophillus while you're breastfeeding to ward off thrush and all the other bad nasties. They even make acidophillus milk, but I've always preferred to just take a pill. I wonder if you could give it to Not Maria, too? I'm not sure... I think it would be enough if you took it, then nursed her.
Also, be forewarned that she'll probably get wicked diaper rash from your antibiotics. I've got the best diaper rash cream recipe ever at http://tinyurl.com/lgr2vx . Srsly.
Some of the kookiest kooks read your blog. If you DID have a new masthead, you'd be getting e-mail from all the kooks who would say, "How COULD YOU neglect your brand new baby long enough to make a new masthead? OMG."
Hope you're feeling better soon.
Amy
304. Jobym said:
I feel for you! I had mastitis and it does feel like you are going to die. literally. die. I woke up so wet from fever sweats that I thought someone had come into my bedroom and thrown a bucket of water on me. And yet, the baby still cries. Feel better soon!
305. Stacey said:
OMG I am so glad that I never breastfed, that sounds ultra painful. When I had my daughter the nurse in the hospital tried to force me to breastfeed, made me feel like an ass by saying it was borderline child abuse to bottle feed, I so wanted to punch her in the face and if I had a bit more energy at the time I would have. I have tons of energy now that shes 8 so while you're recovering you can just send me the names of people who need a good face punching and I'll take care of that for ya!
306. Anonymous said:
hi heather;
i've been reading your blog for quite some time and really love your sense of humor.
talking about probiotics, i would recommed Kefir. i buy the lifeway brand and all my family likes it - even my very picky 7 years old. it is available in the wholefoods stores. they have full fat, which i give to me 16months old and low fat and fat free versions.
well, take care and enjoy life.
anila
307. Anonymous said:
Hahahaha. You and your ugly baby got what you deserved. So you are back on the crazy train again? Lozzles. You should have aborted that creature when you had the chance.
308. Anonymous said:
What a joke when you tweeted about doing work. Like what you do is work. Write a couple of bullshit paragraphs, all the hideous subdivision soccer moms eat it up bc they think you are soooo subversive and you make bank from your ads. Done and done.
309. Jaxon said:
Tell whoever is griping about the masthead to shut it. I DO recognize sarcasm and I still love this masthead more than any masthead you've done ever. I wouldn't care if you left it up forever, I love it that much and it still makes me laugh a month later. Only problem is I'd miss what creative masthead you'd come up with next. But you will have a very hard time topping this one--The Greatest Masthead Ever.
Oh, and sorry about the mastitis. Even the word hurts.
310. Kim said:
Hey, Heather! Hope that you are feeling better by now. I just finished reading your book and loved it! I am actually going to see a therapist on Thursday because if I don't I will probably be kicked out of my family. Short version...mom of preemie twins that almost died. Enough said. Hellish year. Likely PTSD and not PPD. Thanks so much for your book, though, because it made me feel less alone.
311. Amanda said:
Hey Heather,
Ouch! On the boob problem... I didn't breast feed with my first and am not going to with my second (she is due Aug. 1st). So, your situation sounds awful to me. On top of everything else, physical pain is much more annoying to deal with when you have a new baby and postpartum. Poor you!
I suffered from severe postpartum with my first child. She is now three. I made it through and was dumb enough to think I could try this again. Oh well! I guess it is what it is. 20 some days left, anti-depressants in my system, psychiatrist and therapist on speed dial - I guess I am as ready as I will ever be.
Glad to hear that you got this awful shit under control much faster the first time. It gives me great hope!
312. Barb said:
I had no idea adults could even get thrush until, lo and behold, I manged to get it last month! Very very strange.
Congrats on the new addition BTW ~ Your blog is definitely on my "must read" list.
313. Emma said:
I love the masthead!
314. s said:
hey dooce, i just treated a postpartum woman in the icu last week for sepsis from mastitis. she needed iv antibiotics and even pressors to keep her blood pressure up. it's no joke! glad you caught it in time. congrats on marlo. she's so sweet. i haven't written in a while, but this is my annual reminder that i SO enjoy your blog.
315. kerry said:
Feel better soon. I had mastitis with my newborn back in the Fall and it effing sucks.
316. Jordan said:
Exactly a year ago today my right boob did exactly what your left boob is doing. I had chronic mastitis for 3 months, and then I weaned because the antibiotics stopped working. While we never had to deal with thrush, even after the courses and courses of antibiotics, I wouldn't wish what you're going through on anybody.
I can't think of anything worse than being in that much pain and trying to nurse your kiddo and having it not work. It sucks on so many different levels.
I genuinely hope you feel better soon. Hugs & Kisses.
317. greyfavorite said:
Heather,
I'm not a mother so I have no mastitis stories or advice to share.
But when I saw your post title all I could think is "what the what?" Towards the end of your pregnancy, I was bracing myself for you to disappear for approximately the length of your average maternity leave. The fact that you are posting at all astounds me, and the frequency with which you have posted has surprised and delighted me.
Grey
318. Paula said:
Forget the masthead, take care of the youngin' ..... Love you!
319. Bush Babe of Granite Glen said:
Oh Lord, I hear you. I actually think I can still feel that particular pain (and it's almost four years since I lactated!)... not good. Not good at all.
Tips? For one, don't let it happen again - there are signs it's coming on and (when that firmness in one section starts to appear) get into a hot shower and massage the lump to help 'dissolve' it before it becomes mastitis. Finish those antibiotics. Stick with the yoghurt. Let Jon change nappies for the next week (joking on the last one... kinda). And keep an eye in Marlo's mouth for any signs of thrush...
Please worry not at all about the masthead... seriously. It's a ripper. And the fact it's still there is exactly the statement you should be making with a newborn - i.e. "I AM TOO FREAKING BUSY KEEPING A HUMAN ALIVE AT PRESENT TO WORRY ABOUT A BLINKING PICTURE." Your priorities are quite straight.
:-)
BB
320. Noelle said:
Oh, here we go again with the comments about your boobs! Just kidding, keep em comin' and I hope the girls (the ones on your chest) feel better soon!
321. Kristin said:
Wow Heather, feel better soon!
322. jacy said:
mastitis should stick it. it's the WORST. pain. ever. pneumonia + stomach flu + sinus infection + vertigo = mastitis.
323. Christy said:
Wow #307 / 308!!! Angry much? Seems you have mastitis of the brain! Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say then shut the eff up? WOW!!! That's a lot of anger you have for a perfect stranger. You just added to her revenue by reading and posting to her blog!! How do you think she makes the money from the advertisements?!?!?!?!
DOUCHEBAG!!!
Is no one surprised that person was named "Anonymous"????
Heather - you are doing a GREAT job. Keep em coming. (And to Anonymous #'s 307 and 308- I LOVE Healther's blog and am not a stay at home mom or whatever you called them. Even us professionals LOVE her posts because they are REAL and we can relate and it makes us not feel so isolated as parents! I suppose you also buy books at bookstroes and then write to the authors telling them you hated their books?!?
324. sheri glewen said:
Oh no! It brings back the hellish days of pain and anguish when I had mastitis and I feel oh so sorry for you. My baby cried every single time I tried to get him to feed at that breast which only made everything worse. Every bone in my body ached day and night and between the fever and chills.....I wanted to jump off a cliff. Come to think of it---I wonder how I made it out to tell this story......
325. One Upwomanship said:
Just going to throw my hat into the ring. I feel my mastitis story is more horrid and stinky than anyone else's, apart from the poor woman whose sister-in-law fed her baby, gave her thrush and lost part of her nipple. She wins. But mine is good. 23 years old, never had baby, not pregnant, got mastitis. Except that nobody told me that's what it was and I wound up with a golf-ball sized MASS of "material" (pus) which had to be surgically drained under general anaesthetic. The wound had to have a plastic contraption inserted in it for the "material" to continue to drain. My flat-mate at the time took great delight in using me for show and tell with her friends and forced me to let everyone check out the vile ooze coming from my boob. I was nick-named Ouzo for the duration, with one wit comparing the stuff to "a rich stroganoff sauce" That is all.
326. ecobabe said:
HEATHER, YOU NEED TO FEED, FEED, FEED FROM THAT SORE BOOB. BEST WAY TO CLEAR UP MASTITIS. STAY IN BED ALL DAY WITH MARLO, CHEST TO CHEST AND FEED, FEED, FEED. I HAVE SURVIVED NUMEROUS BOUTS OF MASTITITS, IT'S AWFUL.
Sorry about the all caps, I had to think of a way to get your attention!
Take care and I hope it clears up soon. Rest woman! and tell those fuckers who want a new masthead to fuck off!
Sweetly yours, Jayne
327. Anonymous said:
Well, I think your blog should be required reading for all kids because then teen pregnancy would drop to negative percent. You'd just need to cut out the cute baby pics and the love-y stuff and cheerleaders across the nation will be proclaiming absinence for life.
Get well!
328. Dana said:
Agonizing pain. I know. I had five bouts of mastitis with my twins so here's one more tip that I haven't seen mentioned so far: wash your nursing bras in hot hot hot water. Apparently, bras not thoroughly cleaned (and dried) can introduce new infections.
329. mari said:
masthead- mastitis, I sense a connection here...
Glad you are feeling better!
330. April said:
Glad to hear you are feeling a little better.
I think the individuals who are demanding you change your masthead should volunteer their time to come do it for you. It is your website and if they want to complain about things then they can go make their own site and stop annoying the readers here. Although, I have to say, I do love to hear how sarcastic you are to them.
Go take care of your girl and then kiss that beautiful baby!
331. Jennifer said:
Seriously, I second the gentian violet. Don't screw around with the oral or topical from the pediatrician or your doctor. It becomes a vicious cycle. Something in the compound (in the words of my OB) "blows up" the yeast fungus. Plus, as the other commenter said, it does make your nipples (and Marlo's mouth) all purple, which I can totally see you digging!
332. Mary@Holy Mackerel said:
You poor thing. I had mastitis real bad, so I know how awful it is. Get plenty of rest, do NOTHING but rest, and nurse LOTS. LOTS and LOTS. It will help with the infection. I also found having a hot shower, with the hot water pounding affected breast helped too.
You don't want to get to the point I did (before I knew what to do), and had to have surgery on my breast. Not good. Not good at all.
Take care.
333. Magda said:
I never coment, I don´t know if you even read all your comments, but I felt the urge to chip in:
BEEN THERE!!!!!! HANG IN THERE!!!
It will be OK. That feeling, however... MI SE RY!!!! Take it from someone who KNOWS...
Take a deep breath, laugh your ass off at the nasty readers and cuddle with that wonderful baby and child of yours :).
334. Michelle said:
To The Fucker Who Let's His Kids Read This Site:
GROW A PAIR DUMBASS. SAY NO TO THE KIDDIES AND MAKE THEM WATCH TV LIKE GOOD PARENTS. AND FOR THAT MATTER, TRY TO UN-GREY SOME OF THAT GREY MATTER UP IN THE NOGGIN OF YOURS SO STRANGERS DON'T HAVE TO HELP YOU RAISE YOUR LITTLE ANGELS.
thank you very much.
p.s. sorry for the screaming. It carried over from my, um, "conversation" with my own children.
335. Mary@Holy Mackerel said:
Oh, and by the way, your masthead ROCKS. And I too think you should keep it up longer. It's one of your best. Sometimes, I would go to your site just to see the masthead again for a chuckle.
336. Theresa said:
NO WAY!!! I refuse to believe that someone would expect your masthead to be changed when you've just had a baby. Wanker. I'd love for you to do a post consisting entirely of nobby posts from people. That would be great.
337. Stephanie said:
I think you should mess with people and get the new masthead and then a few days later switch it back. Then the new, then the old. Just for kicks and giggles. For the 12 people that have nothing better do but worry about your masthead.
Also, I think it's really sad that you smoked when you were pregnant.
Hope you feel better!
338. Laura B said:
Love the masthead, and I did not even think about the fact that it was ONLY 6 DAYS into July. You have a few other priorities right now. We are lucky that you aren't taking 6 weeks of maternity leave and that you are updating despite your new duties.
I have had mastitis a time or 4, and I have to say, I have never felt as sick as I do when I have mastitis. It's WAY worse than even the flu! They should call you in some morphine when you get that, it is the pits! So I am glad that you are on the road to recovery, and you just leave that masthead up as long as you want!
339. Anonymous said:
MASTITIS SUCKS!!!!
And what they DON'T tell you... is that even after you're done nursing (like, a year after I finished nursing my last)... the skin can continue to painfully tear/ crack! Permanent damage!!!!
Once you heal up a bit, stay moisturized... Aquaphor seems to work well.
Get some rest... and screw the loser who is worried about masthead!
340. Jstar said:
i was unfortunate to have the horrible chill-making mastitis with each child. it seems so unavoidable. i could only agonize over how our foremothers dealt with this the pre-abx days. i mean, OW.
and then i probably shouldn't tell you this but i ended up with appendicitis after my 2nd mastitis adventure. got mastitis, took abx, felt fine. felt like i was really going to die from stomach pain about a week later. the surgeon asked me if i had recently had an infection? he usually sees appendicitis in people who have had a recent infection elsewhere in the body.
if you have severe stomach pain...don't ignore it. i agonized more over leaving the baby with my husband (who has never done a night feeding in his life) to go to the ER versus the feeling that i really was dying. i blame my boob
341. HoneyBee said:
Heather,
So sorry about your boob, that sucks, chin up, you'll get thru it. Just so proud that your breastfeeding and being open and honest about it and all that comes with it...good and bad.
The cigarette picture...LOVE IT!!!! Without having to say a word, the picture totally describes how one feels in the beginning of pregnancy and after...you ROCK!!!!! Dont' take the picture down, in fact top it off and add a bottle of booze! Seems these days it takes so little to offend so many so go ahead and keep saying and doing what you have been and keep the open minded people laughing!!!!!!
Cheers!
342. Kate said:
Yeesh. You are not having an easy time of it. You make it sound easy, but it must be rough over there! Hang in there. It *has* to get better!
343. Larkspur said:
Ooh, I almost, ALMOST joke-mailed/commented a complaint about the masthead, but I decided that if there was the remotest possibility that you or anyone might take me seriously, I'd better save my own bacon and STFU.
Anyway, I remain thrilled by Marlo's arrival, and am now horrified by your mastitis (mucous plugs don't even register on the OMG-o-meter), and think that possibly a pattern based on the microscopic evidence of said mastitis might be gruesomely cool as a mastitishead.
344. Alicia said:
I've had mastitis just one time in my 4+ years nursing my 4+ kids. Thought I was going to die. Worst flu symptoms I've ever had in my life. The only thing that could possibly make that shit worse is thrush, which, if you haven't had it, feels like ground glass in your nipples, possibly for months. Keep up with the yogurt, momma!
345. Anonymous said:
So sorry people suck. I had a lesser version than what you had with my first son, absolutely horrible. I hope you feel better soon!
346. Denise said:
I am so sorry, Heather! I've been there and it's terrible. I was told by my lactation consultant to take Lecithin and probiotics, too. After two bouts of it two weeks apart (different sides), I never got it again. Hope you feel better soon!
347. Kathy said:
Congrats are the new addition and only the best to you, but I cannot help but wonder how Karma manages to dump all the shit on you when it comes to pregnancy, childbirth, handling newborn and 5 year old, post partum complications, breast feeding, and generally getting on with life and raising children. I raised 3 boys and each one brought different challenges and it certainly was not all ice cream and roses, but your life reads like the Keystone Kops meet gangbangers from large urban cities. It's almost like you assume life will be a toilet bowl and damned if that's not what you get, a self-fulfilling prophecy of gloom and doom. Damn girl but shit happens with and to you. What appears to be a charmed blogging life does not flow into your private life and that is a shame.
348. Meg said:
My sister had mastitis and found out after she regained consciousness from passing out with her high fever *while on the toilet* so that her loving husband could find her knocked out cold with her ass in the air. She had a huge goose egg, and everyone wanted to know how she got it. The mastitis cleared up faster than that bruise.
349. Indiana Lori said:
Dude! Mastitis sucks! Because breastfeeding isn't hard enough, we need to add pain, nausea, shooting pain and fevers to it. Best of luck.
I just took a round of the refrigerated probiotics from Whole Foods after amoxicillin trashed my gut. Lifesavers. I'm a wimp and took the pediatric probiotics. They still did the trick. And tasted yummy!
Thinking of you and wishing you THREE hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight. Small miracles make all the difference with babies in the house.
Best, Indiana Lori
350. Helen Tarnation said:
Next masthead needs to be in the same tone only with Marlo, naked, hanging across the arm with the donettes and you slurping a cold one with curlers in your hair, a cig propped behind one ear and you must be wearing a tube top...
Sorry about the mastitis. I have DDD's and nursed #2 and #3 and never had so much as a blip of trouble...other than the fact that I had to wear like 3 breast pads on each side due to leaking, I could NEVER pump anything more than 1/4 ounce out of the big'uns, and we didn't have the fancy pumps electric pumps back in the late 80's (or nobody told ME about them!)
And to "Anonymous"--Fuck you very much, Braveheart.
351. Lauren said:
No mother would ever expect you to have updated your masthead when you've just given birth, staved off post-partum depression and lived through mastitis. Um, take your time. How you manage to live your life and blog (humorously, at that) simultaneously is motivational in and of itself.
352. mountainmomma18 said:
I like to tell people that unless they have pushed a baby out of their special place that should only be treated nicely, they can take their whiny judgement and shove it. I mean geez most people get 6 weeks maternatity leave.
353. Carol said:
Heather - oooh, mastitis is painful. You kinda get paid to do this blog, right? From the ads and stuff? Uh yes, so it is like your job.
I figure that your masthead is supposed to be ironic and witty and funny. I guess.
I think you need to travel more around the world to really be cool. I mean how hard can it be to be counterculture in Mormon Utah for goodness sakes?
hope you feel better soon.
354. Megan said:
I'm so with you... mine was born June 8th and has slept a total of FOUR hours in HIS bed. Most of the time he sleeps when he's supposed to be nursing.
355. Dorie said:
Whatever you do resist the temptation to try to do too much and rest, rest, rest. Even when I tried to be proactive and rest after baby #2, looking back, I tried to do way too much, and ended up with mastitis twice! I could barely get up from my chair to fetch my script at the pharmacy it wiped me out so bad.
Best wishes to all 4 of you.
356. C said:
I love your current masthead. I was hoping you would leave it up forever!!! I cried I laughed so hard the first time I saw the picture.
357. Rachel said:
Heather,
OMG! OW!! Seriously, I am rethinking my position this whole breeding thing. HOLY goodness, woman! I hope you and your boobies feel better soon. I'm sending good karma your way!
Your adoring fans will be here when you return.
And who let these trolls in, anyway? I didn't think that they were invited... Weenies.
There are a lot of MAST-holes in life. Screw 'em.
358. Kimba said:
Ugh, Mastitis crept up on me during our beach trip to Carlsbad. Wyatt was 4 mths old, I thought I was out of the clear, and one minute I'm sunning myself on the sand, and the next I'm moaning in bed, 103 degree fever. Such fun! Woo!
Hope the drugs kick in soon. :)
Mastitis...masthead....I suddenly feel inspired...
359. Gina said:
just reading that... makes my ta tas hurt
360. Disney Family said:
Well, you could have planned ahead and had something ready for July...
361. Sarah Jo said:
I'm so sorry. Mastitis is awful. Screw the masthead and take care of yourself.
362. pingersgal said:
My husband is a submarine sailor. We moved to a new home 4 days after the birth of our fifth child (yes, I am THAT crazy!) and my husband went out to sea for three months 6 days later (I think he signed up for that sea duty voluntarily!) which coincidentally was a week before halloween. He was gone until after new years. So not only did I have four children and a newborn to deal with, I also had to unpack our home..all during the holiday season (Halloween,Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years)..oh..did I mention I got mastitis four times during all this? Yah..it was really special time..
Enjoy YOUR mastitis..I know I sure did..all four times! lolol...
363. Cindy said:
Dude. People seriously write in to complain? I'm shocked you've posted as much as you have. Fuck 'em
364. Vetmommy said:
I check your site everyday, hoping for an update, but PLEASE! feel free to take some maternity leave. Believe me, we will understand, and we (your loyal readers) will return.
Take care of yourself, and Marlo!
365. Cupcake Murphy said:
Ok you need to give me the name and address of the guy who is giving you grief because I will set him straight. Does he not realize that if all you are capable of right now is every once and a while writing a tidbit like "a quick one up the pooper" that is more joy than most people will spread IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES.
366. jana said:
This post could easily have been just two words:
Masthead?
Mastitis.
'Nuf said!
367. rhonda said:
oh-my-god, you are so funny
no wonder you have such a faithful following
as always, thanks for sharing – rhonda
368. Rachie said:
Hahahaha oh Dooce, you are the best. You make me laugh out loud, every time.
Sorry you have mastitis, it sounds terrible... hope you make it through ok and keep on keepin' on!!!
369. Leesavee said:
I envision a masthead featuring your infected bosoms covered in cole slaw.
Sending healing energy your way. There are definite benefits to adoption...but WOW is Marlo one adorable butternut!
370. em said:
#1: "a quick one up the pooper" could be my new favorite phrase... amazing.
#2: I had mastitis when my son was about 1 month. It SUCKED but did clear up pretty quickly and no thrush or other undesirable fungus-related things ocurred, and I am still breastfeeding him at 11 months and have not had it again. So I wish you the same speedy recovery and many days of easier breastfeeding ahead!
371. House Of Estrogen said:
Oh man... I'm so sorry about the mastitis. I've had it 4 times, and it is every bit as awful as you describe. The first time I had it was when my first child was 4 days old. By the time I got to the ER, my fever was 104, and I was quite sure I was dying. Awful stuff! Glad to hear the antibiotics are helping, but really rest as much as you can!
372. murphy said:
It's July already? Wow. When did that happen?
As for the mastitis, never had it, but I was scared of getting it, so any time I'd feel a little twinge of pain that my paranoid brain was convinced could be the start of mastitis - usually in the rear of my breast, near the armpit - if my son couldn't nurse it away, I'd put my husband on that breast and tell him to suck hard. Seriously. It sounds gross, but he liked it (you know men!). He had the suction power that my son didn't, and in a few minutes, the little twinge would be gone.
I was never able to nurse lying down because those rear ducts just wouldn't get emptied. It looks so nice in the photos, but never worked for me.
Enjoy these first days of your newly expanded family. There is no other dooce in the world; we, your adoring fans, will be waiting for your safe return.
373. Lisa Beth said:
Um, I think I remember my doctor telling me to put warm, soaked tea bags on my nipples if I developed what I thought was mastitis....but you might want to look into this, I wouldn't want to make it worse. I know this worked when my nipples were sore from breastfeeding - I never got mastitis, whole 'nother ball game.
Like most commenters - love, love, LOVE the June Masthead. My husband runs websites as well and he is constantly getting crap if his is one minute overdue - WTF? Who cares? Most women get 12 weeks OFF WORK, I know I did.
374. Karen L said:
It seems silly to post a comment after 369 other comments but I just gotta delurk to say: You made me laugh out loud. repeatedly. with a post about mastitis. Thank you for making me laugh.
Feel better soon!
375. MrsSgt said:
We raise sheep and have culled ewes who have had mastitis because they are not able to nurse their lambs or any future lambs. Ironically I had mastitis shortly after my third son was born and just before a military posting 200km away. I woke up soaked in sweat, tit on fire and when my husband made a smart assed comment related to the sheep I threw up on him.
Feel better Heather.
376. tanna said:
Gentian violet may help for the thrush prevention. It is an anti-fugal. Paint on you, safe for Marlo to nurse without wiping off! Get it at pharmacy. I got mine @ Fred Meyer. Makes her mouth and lips purple, but if it stops another infection, it is so worth it! Good Luck
377. Andy said:
Mastitis? Wow, our cow had that.
378. Jennifer said:
Oh my goodness! I hope that you are feeling better soon. I have heard that mastitis is just awful. Feel better soon & I love reading your blog.
379. Anonymous said:
I really hope you don't get thrush. I dealt with it for two months with my son and it was a miracle I was able to still nurse him. For the love of God, keep the thrush AWAY. It can be just as painful as what you are going through. Take lots of probiotics and continue them after the infection is gone. Seriously, I speak from experience.
380. Danielle said:
No, no, the cigarette in the masthead is fine.
It's the hairdo that's likely to traumatize children.
Oh, and hey, #273! I don't know too many women who go back to work this soon after having a baby, so I'm not sure why you would expect her to be Johnny-on-the-Spot with the masthead change. Did you not notice the (ack, I can't believe I'm about to mention it again, just when the kerfuffle finally dies down) bathroom renovation, nursery renovation, new carpet installation, and other preparations she has been making for the past several months? If I was going to have a baby, the last thing I would do in the time leading up to it was to make sure all my work was perfectly in order so as to make it easier on everyone ELSE. So as not to "inconvenience" anyone. Holy crap, get a life.
381. KLS said:
Ahh, good 'ol mastitis. I had this with both my boys. The second time, the douchbag doctor on call at my regular OB's office diagnosed me (over the phone, mind you) with the flu even though I explained to him that my boob was about to get lopped off, it was so painful. I think I interrupted him at a cocktail party and he couldn't be bothered to call in a prescription — so much for the oath, there's VODKA to be slammed! Anyway, next morning I end up at one of those 24-hour clinics, with an 80-something-year-old doctor sniffing my tit and hollering at the nurse and I to quit joking around and laughing because he can't sniff my tit properly. Boy, it's not everyday you get a humorless octogenarian sniffing your tit. I just love saying that.
Glad to hear you're getting over it. Hopefully you won't get that other horrible nursing ailment. I can't remember what it's called (I blocked it), but I basically hovered over my boob with a sterilized safety pin for half an hour, thinking shots and something to grit between my teeth might be in order. In the end I wussed out and decided to go the hot compress and kneading route for about 12 hours.
382. sloggerette said:
Obviously you need to put up a picture of Marlo with a cigerette in her mouth for the month of July. Or for the holidays, how about an unlit firecracker?
383. Danielle said:
Heather,
No matter what happens in my day, you always put a smile on my face. Your sarcasm is always welcome in my home :) Congrats on your beautiful baby girl...and heal quick mama!
384. Making it Lovely said:
Dag, breastfeeding is hard. Take your time on the masthead – the internets will deal.
385. Katie Morton said:
Yet another thing for me to be afraid of when I have kids. I sincerely hope you gave your boobs a good talking to, and they agree it's best for everyone if they behave from now on.
386. Sara said:
Dear Heather, TAKE YOUR TIME with the whole getting back to business thing. Pretty sure all of us non-a-holes can handle the cig masthead a little longer. All you need to worry about is survival. I know this b/c I have a 2 m/o and a 2.5 y/o. It is all about survival right now. Sending lots of hugs to you, comrade.
And I love 299's idea for a new masthead. Mismatched tiles would be hilarious.
387. pogonip @ meadowsweet cottage said:
How reassuring to know the idiots of the internet are still out there, doing their job of posting brainless comments.
Meanwhile, ouch! Keep Marlo feeding as much as possible--her draining you like a non-Twilight vampire is the best thing possible. Thinking good thoughts for a painfree and restful night in the near future!
388. Mary said:
Once again you have provided me with the Funniest Thing I've Read All Day. Oh my hells what is up with our species that having offspring and seeing to their survival nearly kills the female. I spent nearly my entire pregnancy and the first months of my child's life bitching "this cannot be the best way to do this, get with it evolution." All the best to your boobs.
389. cathy said:
Damit woman! Make the header a big ol shot of your ass, so those readers can kiss it. Then take 2 weeks off to rest and be a mommy. Get help! Get servants, pretend you are Angelina, let some one else do it. During these two weeks allow Jon to post cute photos occasionaly. you are entitled to maternity leave!
And yes, that breast thing is extra painful.
390. Lily said:
My son's pediatrician recommended he take Culturelle when he was on antibiotics this last Spring. It's probiotics in a pill form that you can get at your local health & beauty aid. He said it is a brand that has had clinical studies proving its positive effectiveness. He felt that everyone should be taking this stuff as a daily supplement.
It might be a good thing to take to ward off future infections in general.
all the best to you Heather!
391. FoN said:
Dude, that sucks. I had that with my last baby and it made labour seem like a breeze. Hopefully you're feeling better soon. And, by the way, I think your masthead is hysterical.
392. cathy said:
MASTITISMASTHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
393. eleanor said:
This is the hardest part. I say that as I sit in my beach chair watching my 13 and 9 year olds boogie board and collect shells. It gets easier, way easier, before you know it.
394. Kathleen said:
In addition to diaper and burp duty, put Jon on masthead duty. Problem solved!
Note to Jon: When it sounds like someone drove through the front door, get up and go check on it. Take it from someone who didn't and has yet to live it down.
395. Little Miss Moi said:
Dear heather. There are some pills that are sold in health food shops in a fridge, they are probiotic supplements. My lactation consultant told me that mere yoghurt with probiotics doesn't do enough of the good stuff, you need these supplements (recognised by the fact that are kept in the fridge).
Good luck organising your life, I'm still trying 10 months later (seriously, how do people have more than one kid? I am kow-towing to all you parents who are parents over again and again...)
396. Anonymous said:
Oh, yeah, mastitis, the Mack truck that hits breastfeeding moms from nowhere and masquerades as flu. Mastitis was totally the bomb! Especially the second time I had it for 2 weeks before realizing what it was and ended up getting up to a 105 fever before it finally broke.
Yeah, cabbage leaves fresh from the refrigerator helps--it's not only the cold but the leaves have some compound or other. And in case you should hear from some idiot that tells you you have to stop breastfeeding because of it, DON'T unless an abcess sounds super-fun too. Marlo can help you with that there pluggage--and be more than glad to, I bet. ;-) Also, this is kind of grody, but instead of the cool/warm packs they say to do, get in a warm (not hot) bath and lean over. Do the massaging there. Also, I kicked it with the help of a lot of EmergenC Vitamin C. Good luck!
397. Gillian said:
Been there had that. 3 times. Fortunately the 2nd and 3rd time I knew the symptoms and was able to get onto the antibiotics straight away so it was never as bad as the first time. Rest up. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
398. Sarah said:
I got mastitis in my third week post partum. Sucks. Apparently it is rather common. My granola-mama friend tried to tell me I didn't need to go to the doctor, all I needed was a warm bath, cabbage and fenugeek. I didn't listen too her because it seemed wrong that I was so woozy and out of it I couldn't hold my baby without being afraid of dropping him. Gimme the drugs!
399. heatherly said:
Masthead + Mastitis...really no one's gonna go there? Come on!!
400. Kris said:
You'll probably never read this...but...my ob/gyn is Eastern European - and one of the most highly respected in the Houston Medical Center. With kid #1 I developed mastitis - exactly the way you described. I go see my lovely doctor with the KGB accent and she proceeds to put on extra surgical drapes and goggles -- then WRENCHES THE INFECTION FROM MY BREAST WITH HER BARE HANDS. The pain of childbirth could not compare to this -- breast milk and eventually green goo flying everywhere, splattering the doctor and the nurse whose hand I'm attempting to crush with my own. It was truly disgusting. I was better in a matter of hours - felt great by that night. Kid #2 - 4years later - mastistis again-- oh, GAWD!!!! Hubby drags me to my sadistic doctor and she's out of town. There truly is a God. Her partner writes me a script for the antibiotics and says "I just can't do what she does."
401. Tam said:
Hey Heather,
First of all, congratulations on baby Marlo. Very precious! Kinda makes me want another, but I have exceeded my breeding quota. I must remind myself - do not procriate, do not procriate, do not procriate. Know what I mean, right?
Anyway, I think your masthead is pretty funny. I don't mind that you haven't changed it, with a new baby and all. I just thought I'd let you know that the menu tabs at the top right don't work in IE 8. You can only see the very top of one of them. Just a little fix.
Take care!
402. nia said:
Oh dooce, I'm so sorry. I had mastitis when the baby was a week old, I'm convinced the in-laws gave it to me. It is truly awful, even worse if you're still so sore that peeing brings tears. The best thing for you to do is to nurse through it. I also ate tons and tons of yogurt, and I took some refrigerated hippy probiotic I got at whole paycheck. We didn't get thrush but that may have been luck. I hope you're better very soon.
403. bridget said:
I will be so sad when the masthead is gone - truly one of my favorites. You could make it say thru June 2010 and I'd be a happy camper. And, I don't think I can say it any better than #37 Candy.
Hope the boob juice is flowing freely and painlessly soon!
404. elismsue said:
Oh Heather...You talk like a woman who knows...I had mastitis
30 years ago and I can feel your pain to this day.
God bless ya!
Sue
405. Liz said:
I love you. No, excuse me, I LOVE you. Carry on. (feel better. And THANK you for entertaining me.)
406. Alicia said:
That sucks about the mastitis!!! (as if you didn't already know). My huge condolences. I was "breaking my nipples" in for breastfeeding and engorgement a mere 8 months ago. It was hard enough without the mastitis, for which I was always on the look out.
407. elismsue said:
Oh Heather..30 years ago I experienced this and I feel your pain today. There is no way to know it's coming and no way to stop it from taking hold of us. Take those antibiotics and go with the "flow".
Love to you and yours!
Sue
408. Kim said:
Seriously? I love you and I think you're hella tight.
Anyone who feels differently is clearly an asshole.
409. prgrsvmama26 said:
I realize you both work from home, but you are supposed to take maternity leave. Stop worrying about the site and go back to bed and take care of yourself. Mastitis is no fun. Sleep when the baby sleeps no matter what. Send Leta back to grandparents if need be, but get your rest. Three weeks after birth you should not be back to your normal activities.
410. Katie said:
I hope your boob is doing better. Maybe you should add a sarcastic comment to your next masthead... The "two words: lame" one was priceless.. So much for a fucking maternity leave huh? YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE A DAY OFF ON YOUR MASTHEAD. haha People are stupid.
411. Anonymous said:
You have my sympathy's, I always get mastitis once or twice when I have a newborn, it sucks, It was never as bad as that very first time though, now I know what to look for and catch it early so that it doesn't get to the point where death is preferable. Hope you get well fast! p.s. tell anyone who complains about the masthead to suck eggs and that they are losers without a life. Enjoy your baby moon and relax, forget about the crazy people on the internet.
412. Stefanie said:
#273 and the guy whose never shot a baby out of his butt or had to wake up every two hours to feed a baby with a boob that has shattered glass in it are both dinkweeds. (Learned that word from my teenage son and I'm not afraid to use it.)
You will write when you can. In the meantime, love the photos and your witty descriptions.
413. Max's Mom said:
Take it from someone who's had recurrent mastitis: Save the last antibiotic pill for the next time you get it (but hopefully you won't). I know, I know, you're supposed to finish them, but that way you can get quick relief while you're calling the doc for a new Rx. Good luck!
414. Wild Dingo said:
Well, since you're my masthead mentor, I couldn't POSSIBLY get up in your grill about a silly thing after having gone thru, i donno, CHILDBIRTH and all... Besides, June's masthead is my favorite of all. I say, just change the date to July, swallow down some antibiotics with some Jack Daniels & light up a doobie before settling down to feed Marlo, and call it a day.
415. Jamie said:
Ohhhhh mastitis! So much Fun!!! I was shopping with my mom, a night away from my screaming parasite when I wen totally limp. She had to help me in the car. I felt like death. Antibiotics are wonderful. But we go thrush.... a THOUSAND times. Get a diflcan stat!!!!!
416. jayme said:
I love everything you put up here. As a mother of a 9 month old boy, I haven't forgotten those early days of not sleeping, eating, or doing anything besides breastfeeding and changing diapers. All worth it to see their little smiles. Good luck getting better and take care of yourself. Happy mommy = happy baby/daddy/dog/world!
417. vicki said:
How about a picture of your poor infected boob for the mast head? Seriously, though, hope you're feeling better and I think it's amazing that you're posting as much and as often as you are. And you're still funny. You make my day.
418. Siera said:
Dude I feel your pain. I had thrush for 3 MONTHS following the birth of my son. I'd be swallowing back the acidophilus in addition to the yogurt. That shit was a bitch to get rid of and I thought I was going to die every time the little man latched on.
419. Cassie said:
I don't know if it's a no-no because of the young one, but I would go another step past the yogurt and get some probiotic pills. And yes, as much resting as you can do!! Our bodies are amazing little defensive machines when we cut them enough of a break to let them do their jobs...
Hope you feel 100% better quickly!! :-)
420. Kathleen said:
I feel your pain. I went through it with my son and I started to understand why so many people give up on breastfeeding and go to formula. I hope you can power through the pain! I hope the antibiotics continue to help.
421. baby hats said:
Who has time to complain about a master header anyway? Get a job whoever you are.
Great work Heather!
Keep it up.
422. Lilliah said:
I second #419's comment- the yogurt thing is pretty gimicky (esp if it has sugar- sugar is food for yeast and should be avoided when there's an overgrowth), and won't do anything if you are still on antibiotics, anyway, since they're basically sterilizing your gut. Enteric coated probiotics are the way to go, after the antibiotics. I know you hate advice, but I DON'T CARE, SO THERE! ;) Seriously, I've worked for company that produces the strongest and best selling probiotics in all the land.
423. Adrienne said:
OMG Eva...ulcer's on your breasts!!! Now I feel like a whiny ass baby...like I didn't really have the REAL mastitis.
424. tracy said:
you poor thing. I'm glad you're starting to feel better.
425. Hope said:
You do have some amazing readers, some who have obviously mislaid any comic appreciation they may have originally had - geesh.
You keep on, girl - and keep on those antibiotics!
426. Anonymous said:
the coleslaw commenter had me laughing, which today was a very welcome respite. (i hate mayonnaise in my mouth, ain't no way i'm slathering it on the girls)
i cannot even imagine how horrid-vomiting-painful mastitis must be since the evil twin buggers totally kick-your-teeth-in when they just get really cold. (why do guys think breasts are sexy?)
Please take care. we are all crazy out here but most of us really are trying to be nice-crazy :)
427. Jennifer said:
Self-diagnosis through Google= proof that we are in a different time. Love it!
428. shriek house said:
What, no one told you about the link between prenatal Donettes and boob infections?
Seriously, I hope you feel better soon. (And from the kinda gross, helpy-helperton department, even when you're better make sure the breast is drained THOROUGHLY after each feed, and attack any plugged ducts with heat & massage right away to ward off future infections.)
429. Renee said:
Yep, had it here, too. I was in flannel pjs under blankets in 105 degree weather with a 104 fever. I waited two days to call the doctor. When I did, he said "why didn't you call me earlier. It would be gone by now." Told him no one ever told me this would happen! Horrible, horrible feeling!
430. Marta said:
I've been following your blog for a little while now and your books are on my to read list. I have two comments. The first is I often forget what month or day it is and have no children so if you forget what decade it is or planet you are living on, I totally understand.
Second, I'm amazed that you continue to be able to put together grammatically correct sentences with capitalization and punctuation with the new baby (congrats!)and all the fun that it does to your body. As for still being hilarious, I figure you'd have to be brain dead before that stopped. I make sure I'm not drinking anything when I read your blog so as to not blow it out my nose!
431. Jenn said:
The masthead can wait, obviously. Right now your focus is right where it belongs -- on yourself, your baby and your family!
I hope you're feeling much better soon, and that you are able to successfully ward off the possibility of thrush!
432. Colleen said:
Been there. Had problem with mastitis last month and ended up with a temp of 103. Hope you're feeling better.Make sure you pump a lot bc I ended up losing most of my milk supply in that breast. I'm on Reglan now to try to get it back up.
btw, dude freaking about masthead=lame.
433. Colleen said:
Been there. Had problem with mastitis last month and ended up with a temp of 103. Hope you're feeling better.Make sure you pump a lot bc I ended up losing most of my milk supply in that breast. I'm on Reglan now to try to get it back up.
btw, dude freaking about masthead=lame.
http://adventuresinoscar.wordpress.com/
434. Anonymous said:
I pumped and never got mastitis, but I did have an infection and I did do antibiotics...and guess who got thrush? I hope Marlo passes that up. I used Gentian Violet on my son's and a purple mouth on a 6 week old isn't that cool.
435. Jen said:
I know it's summer and all, but have a hot shower (as in as hot as you can stand), and aim the stream of water onto the part of your breast that in infected and massage. Word from the wise, it's best to see a doctor BEFORE the gunk turns green. Oops.
I tried the cabbage leaves until the midwife told me off because, apparently, the leaves stop milk production, which is why it works for mastitis. Oops again.
436. Jenn said:
Anonymous 307/308 and Disney Family 360,
If I could punch you for being so stupid, I would. What pathetic and bitter people to waste their time and energy bothering to write such hateful and disrespectful bullshit. GFY assholes!
Dooce...my mom is a super breastfeeding advocate (like borderling La Leche League nazi-esque) and I told her to read today's entry...she said the more you nurse on that side the quicker your recovery will be - and keeping track and alternating sides is really important to avoid it in the future. heat and massaging can help relax everything too... Sounds like you got some other good advice in (most) of your comments too - good luck and feel better!
437. Kelley said:
I love the photo of you in the masthead with the cigarette, it represents the fact that we're still individuals and rebels at heart while being Mommies, Wives and Worker Bees. Don't change a damn thing.
438. fifi said:
I had mastitis,woith my first child.. and tried the method of getting the blockage to clear by combing nipplewards all around the breast(yes,combing, with a wide toothed comb, with a little liquid soap to lubricate..!) best done in a warm bath. it worked for me, and a friend who got mastitis tried it and it helped her too.Originally read how to do this in a Sheila Kitzinger book on breastfeeding.This is 20+ years ago, but I bet it doesn't matter, breasts and babies haven't changed that much since then...hope you feel better soon.
439. Liv said:
Heather
OK I am new to your site and I heart you so much! Congrats on the new little one and super sorry about the situation with your boobs. Feel better. I would just like to point out that your masthead is frickin' awesome and you should keep it forever-I CANNOT believe that people are complaining about it- to which I send out a huge SUCK IT to all of those goofs on behalf of every woman who has ever pushed a human out of their lady bits and can barely shower once a week let alone change a masthead and keep up a website! Obviously those complaining must be men.
440. Candice said:
*This is for commenter #273 and guy-who-gets-confused-when-he-sees-June-and-its-July*
I think as a gift to your boobs I'm going to design your new masthead for July. It is going to be a collage of mastitis and yeast infected boobs (and perhaps other body parts), along with close-ups of babies crowning and sewn up lady parts.
You can forward all comments to me so that I can explain my inspiration and the creative influence behind the design.
You Rock!
441. Miranda said:
Ha, I had mastitis once. Hit me in the supermarket - I had a three month old on one arm and a bunch of groceries on the other. Suddenly out of nowhere I went all lightheaded and fainty and nauseous and achy. Yech, horrid. Dragged my sorry carcass home to discover a temp of 39 degrees C and a very sore boob and a very hungry baby. Awful. That night baby got formula, and I got antibiotics and a pump.
On the upside, it clears up quickly!
442. jillian said:
Though I´ve been reading for awhile, I´ve never commented until now, but, UGH, you got me at the mastitis! I had it last summer and it is NOT fun! Here´s hoping you feel better soon!
443. Lisa S. said:
I wonder why I'm write comments, do you seriously read all the way down here in the late 400s??
Anyway - just had mastitis a few weeks ago myself. IT SUCKS! But the meds kick in quickly, I promise if you even got to this comment you are probably already feeling better. Don't you love the advice, rest as much as possible? With a NEWBORN? Ha.
I second someone up there in the 100s - they suggested a postpartum doula. I dont' know much about doulas but after having PPD with my 1st child I lined up a night nanny for this one - just for once in a while to guarantee me a good night's sleep. Lots of money but well spent. She can even bring the baby in to nurse if you want to keep that going.
444. sex toys said:
And thanks to your tweet about mastitis I've learned another new thing about the joy of pregnancy and having children. I swear another 10 years till I consider kids.
445. Jill said:
I hear you... as the Undisputed Queen of Mastitis (5 times with the first kid and at least twice with each of the remaining 3), I have now become an expert in something I never knew it was possible to be expert about. That's the thanks I get for an abundant milk supply...
So - here's the expert's advice:
1. change feeding positions regularly (to ensure she empties each corner of each breast);
2. at the first sign of a sore area or lump, feed off that breast first and lay on hot cloths (as hot as you can stand) as soon as she starts feeding, and through the let down;
3. if there is still a lumpiness after the feed try and massage/hand express over that area to ensure there's still no blockage there (although the lump won't go entirely as it's also casued by inflammation);
4. sleep bra-less at night;
5. make sure your bras are fitting well, with no areas that cut into the breast when the breast is full;
6. and if all else fails and you feel a temp coming on, call your doctor straight away. Don't wait thinking it will get better by itself. Like I did... on about, oh, the 9th or 10th time round... and ended up having to hand-express pus out my boob. Disgusting, and bloody freaking painful. But better than the surgical incision my friend needed.
Get better!! And BTW, that baby of yours is ... oh my goodness... SO edible. :-)
446. docinfrance said:
So, I guess if I happen to ask when you're planning the third child I could get shot? Joking, really...
I too am having phantom pains for you. I had mastitis with all three of mine and yes, suicide was high on the list of alternate treatments. It did get better, though. And God, what relief when it did!
Screw the masthead haters. I personally think having an 'outdated' masthead adds to the charm of your blog and reminds us with kids the joys of trying to find time for it all in the early days.
447. Erin said:
I have been so impressed that you are actually posting at all I haven't had time to worry about a masthead! I am pretty sure the person who has email to complain must not read your column on a regular basis....and if they do they should stop; cuz it is waaaaay to smart for them.
448. CT in NYC said:
Yup, had it too. The antib's will knock it down quick. Nurse like crazy on that breast to relieve it. Warm showers help with the pain. I'm sure others have said as much as well.
Looking forward to the birth story!!
Be well.
449. jo said:
Ok, so I utterly failed to notice that the masthead hadn't changed. I've not got the "pregnant/just had a baby" excuse so i think my failure to notice just makes me a bit rubbish. or normal. it's very hard to say.
Take your own sweet time. Everyone with half a brain knows you have much more important things to deal with.
450. Lynn said:
I never even noticed there was a date. Totally get the quasi Courtney Love look - I thought it was funny!
It is great reading about the updates on your family and hope you are better soon!
451. Changing Bags said:
Hi, I was about to email you, but then I thought everybody else would be just doing the same thing- so I didn't. Good thing I didn't cos if you're tired then that's that last thing you need - someone one cramming up your inbox with wining! It's about time you get some sleep woman! (he he..) I'm prayin for ya :)
452. Deborah said:
Ouch! I remember it well. And to top it off the baby still needs to nurse. So glad the antibiotics are working for you and don't worry about the blog. Your fellow moms understand.
I remember our Pediatrician's Nurse Practitioner/Lactation consultant prescribing a triple cream for my boobs. Safe for the baby and no thrush. (Very soothing too.) Ask for it, it's a wonder drug.
453. Plano Mom said:
Just strike out June 2009 and put in "July, DAMMIT." Been there on mastitis. I've never understood how something in your BOOB can make you feel so much like death is imminent. Hang in there, get better, enjoy your kids, and tell the rest of us to buzz off.
454. Angela said:
Heather, get your rest and screw the masthead haters. Your baby needs you well. I only experienced a blocked duct and that was awful...I can only imagine what you're feeling.
I think we can survive the enitre month without a new masthead, actually...the fact that you're already blogging just days/weeks after birth is amazing...
455. Kim said:
The words "ground glass" usually pretty much mean that not only do you have mastitis but also an intraductal yeast infection. It's kind of a pathognomic description. See the practitioner of your choice but this does not go away without treatment. Whether you choose gentian violet/fluconazole/APNC (see Dr. Jack Newman's handouts for breastfeeding) or any of the other remedies available, you will feel much better once properly diagnosed and treated.
456. Nancy F said:
OUCH!
457. Stephanie said:
Sending good vibes your way, mastitis is awful. Hope you're better soon.
458. Jenni said:
Oh, ugh. Not fun (mastitis ruined this year's Super Bowl for me. Those Budweiser ads with the horses? Very trippy.).
459. Pink Lady said:
All I can think is OUCH! I hope you feel better and soon!
People actually care that your masthead has not changed? I'm impressed you've been able to post at all given the fact that you gave birth less than a month ago.
460. Any Mouse said:
My sympathy on mastitis. I've only had clogged milk ducts (most recent last week) and even facing into a mild breeze with one of those things hurts. I can't imagine full-blown mastitis.
I hope you feel better soon, heal well and there are no complications.
Take care of yourself.
461. aussiechic said:
OH I had this - except mine were blocked ducts - you can fix this - PUMP PUMP PUMP - seriously - and massage and put heat on them - I tell you I had this and I went on the internet and a bunch of mums said to get a pump and pump those breasts to clear the duct - and they were right!!!! I swear I was a pumping fiend for about 2 days - and it went away - bloody awful pain. Terrible. Put hot compresses on your boobs too and also massage them gently - oh you poor thing - I got this a couple of times during my breast feeding days!!!!!
462. MikiG said:
If you get tired of yogurt, try a capsule form of probiotic called "Culturelle" - you can get it at any pharmacy. I took it all throughout my pregnancy (I have a one month old) and even take it now while I'm breastfeeding.
Hang in there and keep writing - reading your blog helps keep me sane. :) Good luck!
463. Andee said:
I personally love the masthead and think you should keep it forever. :-)
I had mastitis with my second and you are right, it TOTALLY SUCKS. Cold packs and frozen peas work, but the best thing is to keep feeding Marlo on that side so she can bust through the blockage.
Hope you get better soon!
464. Connie said:
Mastitis is no fun. Take care. After trying IV antiobiotics at home for a week with a 106 temp - I ended up back in the hospital. (with my son in my room). A doctor wanted to see what type of bateria was growing so - ready for this - with NO ANESTHESIA - he took about a 10" long needle and pushed it into my very large, red, swollen with milk, infected breast to see if he could get some pus to grow a culture. It was the most pain I have ever experienced. EVER. Factor in that I have a very high tolerance for pain and you might begin to relate. My son is 24 years old now and the memory of that pain has not diminished.
465. Beth said:
I had mastitis with my second child. Comes over you like a freight train. Then with my third I had Reynaulds syndrome with breastfeeding. All treatable with a little modern medicine. My youngest is now 2 1/2 and it's all worth it. Occasionally I yearn for a fourth but since half the calendars in my home still say June I think I'll just stick with three. So no worries on your mast head. Actually a little surprised that my 5yr olds daughter hasn't recognized that her Disney Princess calendar is still sporting Belle. She usually is right on top of the Princess of month! Good luck with the new bambino & your family and keep breastfeeding, you're helping to build those IQ points!
466. Heather said:
I had it too. Absolutely the most awful! Anyway, if your first antibiotics don't kick it right away, get back to the doctor. My doc gave me a shot that worked (it seemed) almost immediately.
467. Lillian said:
Oy! Do you think you're the only woman who ever birthed a baby? And yet you find time to whine!
All sarcasm aside, mastitis scores a 3,000 on the 1-10 it sucks scale. It amazes me that you're able to ever post at all.
And by the way, if you haven't read comment 56 from Rosie, you need to do so. I'm still laughing picturing you on all 4s while you breast feed Marlo. If you try it, make sure you take pictures and put it up as your next masthead. Cigarette dangling from your lip and all.
Hope you feel better!
468. bonnie said:
Ah, so sorry about the mastitis! I had it off and on for both of my babes. Keep massaging those buffet-a-licious breasts of yours to keep things loose and flowing! Glad you are taking care of yourself. The light is always at the end of the tunnel. It will pass.
469. Lee said:
OH my hell, mastitis!! Look at it this way. When Marlo is much older and you need a "guilt bomb" for her, you can say "Look at what I went through for you. You almost wrecked my rack." I would say that it's worth probably several really good Mother's Day gifts..
just sayin'
470. Heather said:
maybe the new masthead should be a shot of you giving birth. then that writer will want the cigarettes back...
marlo is adorable... keep up the good work breastfeeding. (i had mastitis and thrush - hang in there!)
471. Ruth said:
God Bless ya!
and I'm an atheist.
472. merseydotes said:
Heather, keep your eyes peeled for thrush, which does not always present as white stuff in the baby's mouth. I was given a big dose of antibiotics during labor because I was running a fever, and I came down with thrush that went undiagnosed for nearly six weeks (because my daughter never had the cottage-cheese mouth - not even a little bit), during which time I had open welts and eventually blisters on my nipples. I have scars on my nipples. (How many people can say that?)
The sensation of a yeast infection in your breast/milk ducts is that of a hot ice pick being hammered into your nipple when the baby latches on and then slowly working its way through your breast, all the way through your body and into your shoulder blade (if you let it get really bad). If you get it, screw all the wimpy hippie advice of yogurt, Nystatin and air drying your breasts. Get thee to a competent doctor who can prescribe Diflucan and lots of it. I took, um, 9000 mg over the course of six weeks to get rid of mine. But if you catch it early, a two week course of 3000 mg (400 mg the first day, 200 mg every day after for 13 days) should whoop its ass.
When you said your breast felt like it was full of glass, I immediately thought you had a yeast infection. I hope you never get one cause you seem like a nice lady, Donettes, cigarettes and all.
473. Nicole said:
I had a constant strain of mastitis after my first child. It started in my left boob and then once that cleared up it moved to the right and then back and forth until I finally got a huge infection and had to have it drained. Bleh...
I am glad that you are feeling better and I hope that you don't get it again!
Love your blog!!!!!!
474. Jen M said:
Poor Heather! I've heard that mastitis is awful, but I've been lucky enough not to have personal experience.
Do not spend one minute thinking about idiots that have the gall to complain about your masthead when you have a newborn. You're on leave! Any posting or other maintenance you do is pure gravy!
475. mpotter said:
oh no! mastitis totally sucks.
i had it 5 times this year. tho admittedly, 3 were mild. which was great, cuz you know- mild pain is SO much easier to handle when your child is literally sucking the life out of you.
one thing that did sorta help me was putting warm water in a disposable diaper and using that as a compress. it stayed warm much longer than a washcloth would've.
and then the diaper pulled double duty while i leaked all over the joint.
i never tried the cabbage leaves.
i don't think i could bring myself to stuff my bra with them, but i've heard it works.
my favorite part about mastitis is that i never seemed to get it during a weekend when The Mr. could've actually helped. no, i got to hold a heavy heavy screaming baby much of the day while also crying in pain.
fun times.
fun!
here's hoping your antibiotics do well and you never get a recurrence.
476. Kate said:
Oh, man. Mastitis is the one boob problem I DIDN'T get when nursing my baby boy. I am a-feared of it with #2 about to be here.
Yikes! I'm glad you have some resources (ie, Jon) to help you out during recovery. It sounds like you're taking care of yourself, which is awesome. Keep at, Mama.
477. wyliekat said:
a quick one up the pooper.
I'm going to go ahead and assume that this . . . open-ended* statement was not left open-ended by dint of exhausted mommy-brain, and was purely left for our entertainment as we contemplate exactly what "one" should be quickly inserted and removed from the guy's pooper. Because you know, the possibilities are virtually limitless.
*C'mon, you didn't think I was going to leave that alone, did you? Scatalogical humour is the divine connective tissue that makes us part of the larger hole. Whole.
478. Nat W. said:
How DARE you have a baby and neglect your masthead! The horror!
479. Charl said:
Could you *be* more awesome?
Your description of mastitis makes my boobs flinch in agony. Hang in there, Heather. Feel better!
480. Alessa said:
Just change the month on the current masthead. You just had a baby for crissakes.
481. Kerrie said:
I have often thought that if you don't change the masthead - therefore not telling me what month it is - I am simply unable to read what you write. Growing and birthing babies aside.
482. Clare said:
Vitamin C is supposed to be a good cure for the mastitis. Take an overdose of it--like 2400 mgs or something.
love ya!
clare
483. Liv said:
Sorry about the mastitis! At least you haven't lost your pep and vinegar; I almost spit out my milk when I read the line: "SHUT UP - ANOTHER BUFFET?". I think your public can deal without a new header for a little while - millions of women get months of maternity leave, why can't you take a few days? Settle down, people.
484. rose said:
ohhhhh yes. the mastitis monster. that guy needs to get the hell out of town. so sorry for that. i had it with my second also. thank GOD for the 21st century and antibiotics huh!
and i don't think the cabbage leaves help with mastitis- i think only with engorgement- which is also a nasty mean monster.
485. julybirthday said:
Christ on a cracker, who cares which masthead you've got up, you've got mastitis! You need REST, and to hell with the complainers (especially men, who've never had the joy of infected mammaries...)
486. Milusha said:
Oh Heather, I feel your pain. Elliot is 1 month old and I too have had a bad few nights. Speaking of breasts and shattered glass, the pain is incredible and yet my doctor does not think I have an infection!! Docs are weird.
Baby's are hard. I fell apart this morning but I am trying to stay positive. Your blog reassures me that I am not the only one going a little nutzoid!
487. ssheers said:
Nursing so that the baby's chin is pointing to the clogged spot will help unclog the clog and make you feel better.
488. cristen said:
i fought thrush breastfeeding my 3, and it IS awfully painful. i found that taking acidophilus pills helped. hope you get better soon! you can do it!
489. Natalie said:
Did your nipples turn white? That's when I knew I was in trouble. Amazingly, the fact that air hurt my boobs wasn't the tipping point. It took chaulk white nipples for me to go to the doctor.
My cause? Losing weight and wearing bras that were too big. The rubbing introduced bacteria.
Bra free since 93. (I wish)
490. Molly said:
Just writing to say, remember that you, too, get a maternity leave, even if you run your own business and it's a blog. There'll be plenty to write about later and we'll still be reading. Feel free to take some time away from us.
491. Tracey said:
Wow, and ow. I've headed off mastitis several times. Not fun at all. All my doctors, and then my midwives, told me to nurse my baby more (not less) during it, to help get the infection out. My babies were all fine, so I guess the docs/midwives were right about mastitis milk not hurting them.
Cabbage leaves really do help. Got that one from my Asian OBGYN. Chill the whole head really well, and then just rip off a large leave and tuck it into your bra. If you develop a cracked nipple from all the extra nursing, then shift the cabbage leave to cover your nipple and tuck a moist tea bag right over the nipple. The tannic acid will help heal the cracks, but be prepared to die the whole bra in tea afterwards, or you'll have quite the conversation piece: a bra with a shakily square tea stain over the nipple area.
492. Daisy said:
Yeah, mastitis sucks. I wish you lots of rest and peace. The cabbage leaves do feel good, for the minute they stay cool before your breast reduces them to a pile of cinders.
493. Erin said:
Just have Jon go change the "NE" in June to "LY" and call it good. Screw the rest...maybe there will be more time in August.
494. DodiM said:
I sort of thought we'd be seeing that lovely vision of you until at least September. My youngest is six now and I just hung the cross stitch someone made for her as a birth gift up in her room! These things take time!
I'm so so so sorry to hear about your illness. Take it easy, and stick up an old header.
495. d3 voiceworks said:
and another thing ...
the power of suggestion is nearly irresistible since whenever i see that masthead i want a cruller and a hand-rolled. i've already got the baby.
496. Marcy said:
I spent the 14 months that I breastfed my son living in utter terror of the possibility of mastitis. Glad to hear the meds are at least working well.
Also, I'm totally with #299. ; )
497. Anonymous said:
Re: mastitis. Glad you got the acute infection under control and are no longer threatening to go septic on us. Just an fyi since you strike me as open to such things: acupuncture and Chinese herbs can treat all sorts of post-partum-y issues, including boosting or stopping milk production and staving off future rounds of mastitis and consequent meds (if caught before the holy-crap-my-boob-is-about-to-shatter-and-I'm-blinded-by-the-pain phase).
PS: Just recently found your blog (actually, just recently found blogs, in general) and I'm hooked. Thanks for the daily dose and congratulations on the beautiful family.
498. Sharlene said:
Ugh, I'm sorry that you've had to deal with mastitis and with silly readers who can't take a joke. I see your masthead as an inside joke almost, as people who have been reading your blog for at least the last couple of months will remember your hilarious photo taken during your -- was it 36th week? -- in which you speak of your addiction to donettes.
Also, for some reason it struck me as a little amusing that you're experiencing problems with both MASTitis and your MASThead. Not really funny in real life, but funny in words.
499. Mary said:
Dude, I'm taking 12 whole weeks off from work when I birth this kiddo next month! I think you're amazing for continuing to blog with a newborn! I hope you feel better soon.
500. Erika said:
The sad thing is that if you were updating your site regularly, people would be yelling at you because WHY ARE YOU WORKING!!! YOU HAVE A BABY!!! SHE NEEDS YOU!!! YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT WORK WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or words to that effect....
501. Jessica said:
Yep. Had the same thing....mastitis and PPD. Isn't life fabulous?!?! I actually hoped mine was so bad that I would be admitted to the hospital and FINALLY get some sleep.
502. Tracy said:
Ick.
I hope you feel better.
503. Tricina said:
Oh god, I'm so sorry. My sister got that with her first baby and I wiped her tears and held my nephew while we waited for the antibiotics to kick in.
Also, someone chastised you for not having a new fucking banner up just days after having a BABY? What a dickwad. Glad you're feeling better.
504. Erin said:
Dear Commenter #273,
I do not understand why you have such a limited perspective on life. Everyone has different priorities and everyone has a different life. I am sure Heather has a million other things to worry about (before and after birth) other than potentially loosing a few advertising dollars because her masthead said "June" and not "July" this month. To you, having a current masthead is a high priority, where to her it's not as high as the health and happiness of her family. If anything it shows how smart she is . . . look at how many kids are fucked up because their parents have the mentality of "work comes first"
-Erin
Mother of 2, housewife, business owner,
505. Erin said:
I had it w/ both sons and it sucks. I'm glad you're on the mend.
506. Michelle said:
Smooches Heather. You haven't had too much thrown at you in the first few weeks of lil sis' life have you?!?
#45 is a million percent right on about mastitis. Send Jon out to the health food store. You sooooo don't want thrush.
Also nurse, nurse, nurse. As if you aren't doing that already... When I had mastitis or plugged ducts, we called it breastfeeding camp... the baby and I got in bed and stayed there for a few days and nights until it was gone.
Hang in there, and in all your spare time, get on that masthead. And the newsletter.
507. hentrain said:
There must be some creative way to combine "mastitis" with "mast head." The pun is just too good.
508. MsBean said:
Annette, you're a fool. If you don't like Heather's blog, why don't you find some other blog that is more suited to you? Maybe you can find one specifically geared toward an audience full of haters. Get a life already.
509. Donna said:
Obviously people are taking your website way too seriously! I thought the original pic was hilarious, loved the powdered donuts! Take care of yourself and enjoy your beautiful new daughter.
510. SAJ said:
I think you should keep the current masthead because IT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE CHILDREN OR ANY OF THE CUTESY THINGS YOUR WEBSITE IS ABOUT. Srsly, fscking HIlarious.
511. Betsy said:
To Theresa #336: She has, multiple times. And they're all brilliant. Like - 'make tears roll down your eyes while you're trying to be quiet at work' brilliant.
http://dooce.com/archives/email
Have fun.
512. HA said:
So I looked this up on MayoClinic.com because I'm having a baby in a few months and wanted to see what I have to look forward to, and right next to the picture of the red, swollen breast, they have a line that says, "Many mothers think you can't continue to breastfeed while you have mastitis, but you can." I hurt just thinking about it. I hope you feel better soon!
513. Christy C said:
I have three kids and lived thru mastitis multiple times with my first 2. There is a type of probiotic called Culturelle that's sold at Whole Foods, and I don't know where else. It's outrageously expensive, but you need to avoid thrush at all costs, since it is so very hard to kick. I'm not normally the bossy type and seldom dish out any advice, but my recurrent mastitis with number one nearly sent me and my PPD over the edge. If you google "yeast infection diet," or something to that effect, you can find out more about eliminating all sugar, breads, dairy, etc, out of your diet to reduce the risk of developing a yeast infection in your breasts or help hasten recovery in the event you already have one. It's a complete paing in the neck, but much better than burning, painful boobies!
514. JHud said:
I LOVE June's masthead!! Get some rest and feel better soon! :)
515. Anonymous said:
cold cabbage leaves DO help- cut out spine and DO NOT put on the nipple area
wear in your nursing bra!
you won't smell like a peach but at this point what's another aroma...right!
516. Michelle Freakin' Brown said:
Keep this masthead up until June 2010. Make people (crazies) squirm with discomfort until then. It must be great to have people so emotionally invested in your site design. Ah, the power.
Really sorry to hear about your mastitis. I will never complain about my chronic recurring clogged milk ducts ever again.
517. Colleen L said:
Mastitis - been there, done that... after a round of post op endometritis that bought me a hospital admission w/a 104.5 temp, multiple IV antibiotics, and a hypothermia blanket for 3 days - definitely not fun and despite the fact that my issue occurred 25 years ago (next month) I still feel your pain. You've received a lot of unsolicited advice here - all of it valid for the folks that offered it, so I won't add to the confusion. Just wanted to let you know that my breasts ache on your behalf, and I wish you a speedy return to health. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
518. Decorscout said:
Funny thing is life never gets less full of details that need to get done....only more. Parenting. The gift that keeps on giving :)
Just wanted to give a heads up that my shopping blog is giving away an adorable kids lamps (though it could go anywhere). IF you like free stuff you can check it out here:
http://decorscout.wordpress.com/2009/07/07/give-a-way-contest-from-allmo...
519. Amanda said:
I agree with Hokie Deb(300)!
The main reason I enjoy your blog is because you twist and turn unpleasant experiences into something to smile about. Even if I feel bad for you I feel okay laughing along with you because I know you are strong enough to see the humor in it. I admire your voice and am glad to say that I'm a fan.
Congratulations on baby Marlo, that's a beautiful name.
520. Martha said:
Honestly I didn't even notice that the masthead was not changed. I have heard that everytime you give birth a little bit of your brain leaks out with all the other leakage. After four babies I think it's safe to say that most of my brain is gone. I am amazed my kids are fed, bathed, dressed, and educated!!
521. Jill W. said:
OUCH. I'll never forget how much that hurts. 3rd time around I used the homeopathic Phytolacca and, seriously, 30 mins later, red streaking, devil PAIN, urge to vomit, GONE. Amazing stuff.
Am so glad you're feeling better. It's amazing we even get through those first few weeks...or years...
much loves and healing viberinos.
xox
522. marianne said:
After you finish with the masthead, I heard Obama needs help with the economy.
523. martha said:
TO #273
Really?? Really?? You are going to shoot off your mouth like that and not even have the balls to post your name?? Nice. Get over yourself. Family and health should always come first. Deal with the current masthead.
524. repliderium.com said:
THE MASTHEAD??? WTF????? Gee- I guess we should have all assumed that it was your NUMBER 1 priority.
Christ on a stick, people are stupid. (please leave the ciggie one up- if only to infuriate the masses. (Maybe add a bottle of bourbon)
525. tara said:
Have I ever told you how awesome you are? You are so awesome. Why do I love reading everything you write? LOVE IT. AWESOME. You are an inspiration!
526. Mirinda said:
Oh Lord, I had mastitis with my second baby (or 3rd? no clue) and it's the only time in my life I was convinced I was going to die. I thought some weird infection from the hospital was killing me. Thankfully, it was just my boob.
Hope you are feeling better ASAP :)
527. Raychil said:
I got mastitis with my first son and over engorgement(sp?) with my second son, which turned into mastitis... it sucks so bad, I get the comment to Jon about I think I'm dying, I said that to my husband about the blocked ducts, he said it couldn't be that bad stop complaining, ya know what my first son did...(on accident) ran head first into his balls...He litterally fell to the floor crying... Ya know what I did.... I looked down at him, picked up my son and said, it kind of feels like that actually... and walked away... I got a huge hug and kiss later... lol.
528. bebojo said:
I absolutely feel your pain. I nursed two babes for 14 months each and had a ridiculous share of mastitis.
If you can get your hands on a product called Bio-K do so. It is one of the only 'proven' probiotics to survive stomach acids and actually do what it is supposed to.
Hope you have a speedy recovery.
529. Angie said:
Wow...not surprisingly, the masses are unsympathetic to a new mother! Take your time on the new masthead. You deserve a break! Yikes! Mastitis, I luckily never had the pleasure of knowing that pain, I hear it's awful. Feel better soon!
530. Kheenan said:
If you include every month all over your masthead then can they complain that you have every month listed?
531. Anonymous said:
more bad news - to prevent thrush you also need to avoid all sugar and gluten (no donuts!) Glad to hear you are on the mend. I am sure Marlo is too!
532. beth_cuteybaby said:
I am glad you are doing better after the antibiotics!
533. Traci said:
So sorry about the mastitis! Hope you are feeling better already.
That wasn't the only reason I had to comment, though. I was just laughing because I just noticed the American Cancer Society ad just below the picture of you with the cigarette! That made it all the better. = ) What's that saying? If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning? Ha ha.
534. Anonymous said:
I had mastisis twice with my last child. NOT fun! The meds are wonderful though.
Such beautiful pics...now go take a nap!
535. ebeth said:
Whatever. Your current masthead is my favorite of the 2 years I've been reading, and what is someone who doesn't get sarcasm doing reading your blog anyway? ALSO, YOU JUST HAD A BABY!! Honestly, I'm impressed with the number of times you've posted and vote that you keep the masthead until you're good and ready to change it. Hope your boob is all better soon.
536. jessica said:
i LOVE the masthead! keep it! you are my hero. :)
537. emily said:
lansinoh. i hope you are using lansinoh on those nipples. it will keep everything from cracking and a higher chance of thrush transfering back and forth from you to marlo. lots of washing before and after nursing as well. washing the nipples in the sink. SO FUN. i'm sure the other 500 gazillion comments have said this already, so hopefully you will have time to read one of them and then get some lansinoh. (tell jon it's in the purple box by the breast pads in the baby section at walmart or target, whichever he fancies).
538. Kaylyn said:
I say you should leave the June header up until next year, and tell everone that has a problem with it to go to hell.
You just gave birth for christ sake! Who do these people think they are giving you hell for not blogging often enough, or changing your header on the first day of each month?
You don't owe them anything. If I remember right, this is YOUR BLOG......
Then you will be able to laugh until January at all of the emails they send you telling you how the combination of your unlit cigarette, and protruding baby bump caused them to have the worst case of hemoroids they've ever had in their lives.
I'm just sayin.
539. shraddha said:
I had twins three years ago and they were born so early that i had to pump milk....
i am not very good at training children...hence they never latched and i had to pump for 1 year...
but it was worth all the pain...
good luck..hope you feel better soon.....i never tried all that stuff in the market on my breast...just good old fashioned cleaning and drying the breast routine and i never got any problem even once..( sorry for the blatant boasting..)
Do drop my blog too...its very new..but fun!
540. Monkey said:
Been there, done that, never wanted to breastfeed again. Not responding to antibiotics and having to do a whole outpatient procedure to take care of an abscess was all I needed to remind myself when my second was born "why I'm not fond of this nursing thing". Mastitis scarred me...literally!
541. Curiosity said:
Wow. Who the hell cares when your masthead was changed. You just made a human. And pushed a baby out your ladybits. Good for you.
542. Nikki said:
You have my sympathies. I had mastitis a few months ago and it was terrible. Take good care of yourself!
543. tinare said:
The funny thing is, before I scrolled down to read your latest post, I thought, "oh, she hasn't updated the masthead. I should jokingly comment on her post that she needs to do that, like she can't possibly have anything better to do."
Sounds like you've been through the ringer. Hope you feel better soon!
544. HollyLynne said:
A buffet! I am dying laughing over here.
545. Melissa said:
believe it or not, the cabbage leaves, IN THE BRA, not eaten, do definitely work. You stink, but feel better. If anyone can make mastitis and cabbage leaves funny, its you!!
546. Nicola said:
I had that too, cabbage leaves in the bra definately helped (you smell odd but hey the baba doesn't really mind) and expressing when the boob went rock hard. I found it helped best in a hot, hot bath and I kept putting a warm flannel on the offending breasticle!
I hope you and your boobs feel better soon and that you remain thrush free throughout!
Keep at it hunny, you're doing an amazing job, I don't care about the masthead but can we please have a few more photo's of Leta and Marlo?
xxxx
547. fifi said:
Sheila Kitzinger wrote about a remedy for blocked ducts/mastitis, which helped me, and a friend, when we both had instances of painful blocked milk ducts.Carry this out while in a warm bath. Using a wide toothed comb, and a little liquid soap, comb the affected breast from the top, sides, and underneath,inwards towards the nipple. I think it may have been a native African remedy that Kitzinger saw in her travels. It worked for me.
548. Flawed said:
I love the masthead. Keep it up!
549. Jolene said:
Ouch! As a veteran of 17 bouts of mastitis in the first 4 months of nursing our twins, I feel your pain! Hang in there, it will pass once your flow regulates itself a bit more. And get an extra dose of antibiotics from your doc if you can - that way you can start them as soon as you start feeling off (for me, the day before the full on pain and vomiting, I was always REALLY exhausted!) Good luck!
550. thamtuvina said:
i think you're at your home :)
http://thamtuvina.com
551. brandon's mom said:
i get that all the time. you gotta make sure to keep switching side for feedings. if you start to get too full on one side, then the duct can get blocked. other than that, someone else mentioned that you can also pump to clear it out. once it gets all drained out, you'll start to feel much better. takes a day or two. btw, the milk can appear yellow/brown-ish, but apparently it's still safe to drink? i prefer to toss it. :)
552. UtahMom said:
I feel your pain! There are many things you can do as others have suggested -- warm moist towel wraps, warm shower massages, changing Marlo's nursing position, YOUR nursing position, completely express both breasts several times each day -- are all excellent methods to relieve the pain.
Contact LeLeche League. They're the best for natural ideas. I'm surprised your doctor didn't refer you.
553. Jennifer :) said:
Breast Infection SUCKS!
THANKS for everything you and John do for our family. I wish every reader had a small clue of how amazing you and John are.
Your example of charity stands alone.
Love,
A very thankful Gwamma and Gwampa :)
554. No. 17 Cherry Tree Lane said:
Haters have something to say about everything and yet they don't "care" about any of it because they are so much more informed and enlightened. Blah Blah Blah. Why so much concern for your masthead? If it bothers you, stop looking at it, for peets sake.
I love that you can't take 5 minutes to enjoy your child and this new chapter in your life without someone barking up your tree about it. Ridiculous.
Take time. Enjoy. Soak it up and everyone else can relax.
555. j.cro said:
I have the perfect suggestion for your next masthead - how about some kind of medical drawing of mastitis?
That ought to give all the complainers pause, yeah?
I hope you're feeling better.
556. Elena said:
Take care of yourself, I hope you'll be 100% in no time at all. Poo on the heads of people whose knickers get in a bunch b/c of the masthead.
557. TinaNicole said:
Ooooh, sorry to hear about your mastitis. I breasted my daughter for 8 and a half months and never got mastitis... She did get thrush once, and past it on to my poor unsuspecting nipples... I'm sure thrushy nipples aren't quite as bad as mastitis, but OMG IT BURNS. AND ITCHES. And you want to go around topless because the material of your bra/shirt chafes! Hopefuly this will be your first and last case of mastitis!
558. badsara said:
lady, you get this popular and someone is ALWAYS going to have a problem with SOMETHING.
besides, i smoked, drank and ate as many donettes as i could get my swollen hands on thro two pregnancies, and now both of our kiddos are stone cold geniuses. i would have written a reply earlier, but i was having a tea party with the dean of MIT who desparately wants our four year old to go to his big dumb "college". POOP, on that, POOP, i say, who needs college when the kiddos can just share my donettes, cigs and beer?
by the way, i understand that the tears of they with no sense of humor is a perfect cure for whatever ails ye.
good luck!
559. Angela said:
Mastitis is a bitch. When I had it, my doctor told me to just massage it with a warm cloth in the bath and it would resolve itself. Two weeks later (in the haze of post-partum depression, while my husband was in Japan and my first born was three weeks old) I had to have "emergency" surgery to remove the breast abscess that had developed as a result of antibiotics being prescribed too late. It was SO AWFUL! I'm so glad to hear that you are getting better because trust me, after having surgery (where they leave the wound OPEN by the way), breastfeeding is horrific.
560. Debra said:
My husband said that the masthead is the best thing about this site. He's never read any of your articles though, he just sees that face full of sunshine when I leave the page up. WE LOVE IT!
561. Christine said:
The next masthead should be the ass of Chuck and the words: you know who you are. Maybe an arrow.
562. Laura said:
I don't know anything about mastitis (so appropriate it has the T-I-T word in it) but I do know that guy is a douche. Hope you're feeling much better!
563. sheameister said:
Erghh... total oversupplier here. I've had mastitis 5 times (in two kids) and a plugged duct maybe once or twice every week for the entire one year and 7 months I've spent nursing (I'm on month 7 of kid #2 now and counting the MINUTES until the kid can go on cow juice). I feel for you and your poor sore tata. Rest up (ha! with a newborn! rrrrrrright...) and feel better.
564. Annie Lou said:
Ahhhh, F#*@ 'em if they can't take a joke...and who the hell is ZE?
565. Anonymous said:
Your masthead is rad. Dont bother changing it you have bigger things to deal with. and youll always have fools like that bugging you about things that dont actually matter. I hope you feel better soon!
566. Anonymous said:
cabbage works
I unfortunately got mastitis a few times....make sure you cut off the spine
and DO NOT put over nipple area
tuck into your nursing bra and it's like a miracle
mind you it kinda stinks but hey...anything to make you feel better and if you add all the other stinks
really not to bad!
567. dica said:
Excellent Post. obrigado
568. Claire Lindstrom said:
Don't know if you've heard of this lady before, but I thought you might appreciate this. http://www.alphamom.com/postpartum-mom/2009/07/what-is-mastitis.php
569. Candy Stick Lane said:
I LOVE THE FRIGGIN MASTHEAD! WTF?! I say change the month and leave it up - its awesome! That guy is total Nard!?
570. gina said:
Well my goodness don't you have plenty of time between 2:05 am and 2:07 am to get that masthead changed ? I say that you take a pic of whatever you are doing right this second and post that. That will teach them to complain.
Congrats on the new baby ! Enjoy cuddling her BEFORE she learns to run away or talk back.
571. JBird said:
I love June's masthead. I love it most of all because I always get good laughs out of people that take offense to those kinds of things (I could have told you the moment you put it up that you'd have a few douchebags complaining about it because of it's implications). What makes this life worth living is the ability to NOT take it so seriously. You appear to have that mastered. That's why I visit this site every day! Such a nice little retreat from all of the inhuman seriousness that has afflicted too many people.
Best of luck with your booby infection, enjoy those little girls.
JBird
572. Chels said:
I will make you a masthead! seriously if you ever need ANY help, you're not alone!
573. chels said:
P.S. I forgot to mention I LOVE your masthead!
574. Anonymous said:
Next book: Bathroom Tiles, Bumper Pads, Mastheads and Cabbage Leaves.
575. Sarah said:
Oh Heather! That is terrible that you got mastitis. You know I thought that having a second child would be much easier than it is. I mean the first was a walk in the park right? How can the second one be harder? My second also had to sleep on me. I never had time to do anything at all! I was lucky to take a shower or go pee by myself. Hang in there. Know that you're not alone. Go drugs go!
576. Jailbird said:
I had it with my 3rd daughter. I still refuse to put her in the will.
577. christina564 said:
Heather,
I've read your blog for some time now, and while I don't know you I want to say....Take care of yourself, take care of your children, and don't fret over silly things that don't matter. If you never change the masthead, big whoop!
Take care of what is important.
Bless you and your chicks!
578. lyn said:
oh heather! i had to chuckle because i also had mastitis, on both sides, but didn't really realize i was sick at first because i was so thirsty and cold. we lived in chicago and it was winter, so the cold wasn't so strange, but after i sucked down a gigantic glass of water, i promptly puked it up--projectile style--all over my 3-week old on my boob, all over myself, and all over the living room. luckily, my husband came in as it was happening and was able to help clean us all up. it was a rough week, even with the antibiotics. good luck, and my sympathetic and empathetic thoughts are with you!!
579. Kathleen @ ForgingAhead said:
Glad you are healing...that sounds beyond the pale.
I love your masthead.
580. J. Bo said:
Oh, honey, honey, HONEY...
Take the time you need, for pity's sake! Sure, we miss you out here on the Internet, but we know you'll be back when you can.
AND THEN YOU'D BETTER MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME, MISSY! I mean, what are your personal life, health and family compared to your obligation to all of US, hmm? I mean, REALLY...
581. Margie said:
Take care of yourself Heather. You are lucky to have a hubby like Jon.
582. Parent Coach Susan said:
Number 1..I had mastitis with my first child and that was 24 years ago and I can still feel the pain..ouch!
Number 2..After 6 months of breastfeeding and walking around in a fog I noticed that I had toenails. I had totally forgotten to cut them.
Number 3. Baby's toenails were always perfect.
Number 4. That is what true love is...loving your baby so much you forget you have toenails!
583. Anonymous said:
I had a dream about you the other night... I don't want to sound creepy, but your whole family was actually in the dream. As was my husband... we were all hanging out, talking, having dinner. It was weird... Anyway, I just thought you'd want to know that your blog makes me want to have babies (yours are so cute) and take awesome pictures (mostly of the babies), please show more! Oh, and I love your design style as well as the masthead. Congratulations on your success - managing family and an awesome job!
584. Laura said:
I'm very sorry to hear about your left hooter. That is unfortunate. As I have never had children, I cannot claim to know what that was like, and I'm going to just take your word for it.
Fuck that guy with mastheaditis. What a dick.
585. Rachel said:
I just wanted to mention that you JUST made me want to cut my ovaries out with butter knife... I was doing fine and dandy with the biological clock drumming in my ears, and then you're description of stitches in the ladyparts and mastitis went and ruined it all!
Seriously... If we want our teens to avoid sex, just have them read an HONEST portrayal of what the human body does as a result of aforementioned carnal act... Perfect. Teen pregnancies drop to ZERO! :-)
You're AWESOME, Heather. I LOVE YOU! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AT BEING AN HONEST HUMAN BEING (that just pushed a human out of her vagina and is getting over rock-hard burning and infected nipples)... You rock.
captcha: riddling 1970
???? K.
586. lb said:
Mastitis is terrible. You just feel like you've been hit by a truck. I had it a couple of times with baby #1, and a couple of times with baby #3, and sooooo many times with baby #2. Not sure what it was about his latch or what, but it was definitely HIS FAULT. It surely does knock you on your ass though, that's for sure. I hope you can take it easy until you are feeling 100% again. And be on the alert in the future for the smallest sign of a blocked duct. Often if you jump on it right away and are really agressive with all the heat/massage/nursing/etc, you can turn it back before you hit the full blown mastitis. Not always, but sometimes anyway.
587. Pamela said:
Jezus 307/308! I bet it is the same ugly troll who posted that Leta is ugly and oh all that shit. Oh my god. person. whoever you are, why do you come here and post that horrid shit! Go to hell asshole. No compassion whatsoever for the problems Heather is experiencing. What an ass. Go away you horrid fucking troll. And the rest of us, btw, totally don't agree, and wish you would just drop dead.
Heather, we feel for you and I'm so glad Jon is there for you. Glass shards in the boobie? How horrid! I hope you get well soon. Love Marlo, she's adorable. Hope you can get more sleep soon. We love you and your family.
588. Omaha Reader said:
Does being a tool take much preparation, Anonymous #273?
Your new baby girl is darling! I hope you're healing quickly and well. Mastitis stinks, but a hazard of the job. I'd love to see a photo of Leta with Marlo!
589. Anonymous said:
Oh I feel your pain Heather-- or have felt it to be more exact. And your description was SPOT ON... it's what I imagine hell might be like.
When my babe was 9 months old I got the flu-- not just the 'I feel kind of yucky' flu but the actual 'knock-you-on-your-ass-I-don't-think-I-can-live-another-moment' flu. Influenza A, my friends. And then to top it all off throw in a side of mastitis. Antibiotics worked wonders.
Hope you are feeling better!
590. Kodi said:
That was my first thought...does the guy actually think kids are reading your blog? Does HE actually read your blog to understand that you basically operate in sarcasm(which I thoroughly enjoy, by the way)? Oh my.
And for just having a baby, mastitis or no mastitis, you officially get a free pass for not having a new masthead up until August in my book. Even September. There are more important things in life.
591. Cory said:
I love you. I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my first and damn am I looking foreward to having the baby home now! Thanks for sharing all the "joys" of new motherhood. Lord knows my mother didn't warn me about any of this!
592. jnt said:
I totally feel your pain! Hang in there.
After my third child via c-section, I came down with a bladder infection. I am allergic to a penicillan and the alternative med meant that I had to pump and dump my breast milk for 14 days which I couldn't even fathom after struggling with the latching on, bleeding nipples and all. So they gave me a different antibiotic that gave a 10% contridiction (I think that's the term)and you guessed it, I came down with an even worse condition than the mere rash I get with penicillan...I got a friggin absces (spelling?)on my labia. Yes, my LABIA!
I had to haul my c-section ass into an epson (spelling again!) salt bath 3 times a day to get rid it! Aweful, aweful, aweful!
So I hear yeah Heather with this postpartum conditions but just think, you could have issues with your labia! LOL!
Love your writing and so glad I found you on the web!
593. Kate said:
You make me LMAO! Thanks!
594. Ann Marie said:
With my 2nd son I had mastitis so many times I lost count (it had to be at least ten times). So I feel your pain, literally. The things that seemed to help the most are hot showers (I know, like you have so much time to shower with a newborn, but it does help), nursing on the infected side first, advil or tylenol every 4 to 6 hrs, and massaging the sore area. I know it hurts like a mofo, but the massaging is the most helpful to break up the plugged ducts. The last few times I had it, I found that if I massaged the area everytime I nursed it really did the trick. I hope you feel better soon!