Being a first-year uni student, and:
'The years of her life spent hitting snooze, snooze, snooze, and the ensuing panic when she realizes she's late for Calculus.'
...that's my life.

Woah, am I seriously first to comment? I usually scorn the 'FIRST!' people, but wow... I'm experiencing a thrill I have never before felt in my mooching teenager-y life.

Sadly, the snooze! snooze! snooze! doesn't stop when we become adults. Or responsible job-holders. Or parents. Maybe when we're dead?

From now on when I my alarm clock goes off, I am going to run screaming out into our living room with my arms flying above my head yelling, "That noise! That noise!" Ahhhh! Its going to be a fun summer.

i loved this post. and for the first time, i am commenting in time to actually make it into the comments, so i'm really wishing i had something more clever to say. (yeah!)

i think, "THAT NOISE!" every morning, that's for certain!

Jenny, Leta learned the alphabet from watching Sesame Street. When she was 18 months old.

Imagine how hard her little heart must have been pounding when the alarm went off! Poor kid. Congratulations on having a reader ... I wish there was enough time for me to read all the books I want to read or if we could just drink them then I could consume them faster. Have a great weekend.

You know you're evolving as an alarm snoozer when you realize you've hit snooze twice not because you're tired, but because you just don't care about getting to work on time. Laying in bed for an extra twenty minutes is so worth living with bad hair for one day.

Who am I here to impress, anyway? My cubicle? I think not.

When she's old enough that you don't mind her asking what it means to "make a two-backed beast", try Gargantua and Pantagruel. It's long, very funny, full of fart jokes and the best, best, best insults. I mean, can you think of a better way to describe a kid:

"For he was a fine boy, had a burly physiognomy, and almost tenchins. He cried very little, but beshit himself every hour: for, to speak truly of him, he was wonderfully phlegmatic in his posteriors, both by reason of his natural complexion and the accidental disposition which had befallen him by his too much quaffing of the Septembral juice."

"I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys." I have one of those boys. He is only 15 months old now and such a handful, I can only imagine what the next 17 years will bring.

There are no words to describe how much you rock at times. I just adore your writing.

I was one of those "give me books or give me death" kids. And when I was a teen and "sassed" my mom, she grounded me from BOOKS for a whole week!
Let's just say it works in case you are collecting arsenal for the future.

I'm trying to contain my histerical laughter in the middle of my conservative office.

Simpler times. I miss those!

My alarm is my husband's cell phone that my 7-month pregnant body cant reach so he's now used to my morning beatings and my own version of "THAT NOOOISEE!!!!!". SHUT IT OFF!!!!

That dreaded noise..ugh! I will always cherish the day my daughters learned how to use their own alarm clocks.

Wait. You actually allowed comments on a post again?

And there are ONLY 26 comments ahead of me (as I type; probably 60 people are also typing RIGHT NOW)? Usually I'm somewhere past 600.

THIS is the second horse of the Apocalypse. I'm getting worried.

As a mother of two teenage boys, I find little boys are compelled to answer any question you pose, and odds are pretty good it's the truth. They take longer to get to the smile and stay quiet stage.

Your Leta and My Alexandrea would get along Just Great!! She hasnt put down her Animal Encyclopedia since she got it.

I have often said to my lovely bride that it astounds me to think there once was a time when we would wake at the hour of our choosing on a Saturday or Sunday morning and speak the words, "So, what would you like to do today, honey?" "I don't know, honey; what would YOU like to do?"

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Wait. Maybe I meant "horseman" and not "horse". I'm not sure.

Don't mock me. I'm running fever. And so are both kids. I'm too screwed up to even comment on how great it is to be a nerd, and be raising nerd children.

Or how hard it is to be two giant nerds & be raising one nerd & one non-nerd. And have to stuff down the commentary about how we really need to be actually answering the questions on the test, not drawing butterflies on the test. And that yes, you do have to actually DO the test to prove you know the answers, because thinking, "I already know all this" is not a good reason to draw butterflies instead.

And to have a 5 year old who can read just as well as the 8 year old, and to know it's not a matter of brains but a matter of having no give-a-damn when it comes to school.

And now I'm rambling and must go back to bed. *snore*

My daughter learned her alphabet from Sesame Street also, read fluently by kindergarten, and yesterday found out she has a full scholarship for her Jr & Sr year in college......
GO NERDS!!

That noise was the worst part of my days for many years. It is soon a part of my day again, but now at least I'll have a cute story to think of.

And I can't imagine it would wake my sleeping monsters. They slept through a fire alarm once.

our daughter can work the alarm clock better then either of us. scary. and i'm damn proud she's growing into a little nerd, too.

my parents forced me to complete a read-a-thon of their own devices when i was 9 so i could get my 10-speed bike. i was on my 3rd of 4th go of all the nancy drews in the library and they were concerned i'd never read anything else...so i had to read so many autobiographys, so many non-fiction, etc. till i reached a certain number of pages and then i got my bike. worked like a charm, i think i earned that bike in a fraction of the time they expected!

i beg my youngest, cora, to just watch 10 minutes of tv. please! she won't ... instead pulls EVERY book off the shelf "reading" ...
my oldest, stella, told me "5 more minutes ... puh-leez" ... this morning when i attempted to wake her up. seriously ... the life of a five year old.
my favorite part though?? "and we sort of forgot how that one extra little body can increase the blast radius of destruction by about a thousand percent"
no kidding.

I hope that I can instill in Ellis (turning 1 on Sunday) that it is cool to be nerdy, that those are the people who are going to make it in life. Although, if her propensity to examine in great detail everything that comes into her line of sight is any indication of her future nerdiness, I think we'll be okay. And if at age 1, her desire to put things away (where they actually belong) is any indicator, I think I'm also raising a little clean freak. And I couldn't be happier.

I hope someday I have a couple nerds of my own. And maybe a cheerleader to balance it out :)

The first time that happened my father grabbed the alarm clock and smashed it into the wall. I have been doing the same thing ever since.

I generally try to hit the snooze 4-5 times before getting up... I don't know why, thats just the routine. My wife hates me for that. :)

Honestly I had to change my alarm to a soft radio noise because THAT NOISE it makes otherwise would give me a fecking heart attack.

If my daughter ever decided to skip the movies for a special about the Mayans that would mean only one thing.... the relatives have converted my daughter with their crafty MORMON ways!!!

Ahhh we dodged a bullet I think since we're having a girl! And given the nerdiness of my hubs and I, we're getting a reader, too. But now I'm stressed about playdates... the thought of someone else's kids waking me up on the weekend - EGADS.

Sesame Street taught me the alphabet, too!!

I swear by it.

Reminds me when my sister pulled into the garage with my twin nieces only to find the door to the house locked. And my sister doesn't carry a set of those keys. SOMEONE had locked the door. She looked at the two door-knob-height girls sitting in the back seat and asked who was playing with the lock on the door. They looked at each other and said in unison "no one". Conspiring already at the age of 5.

Leta, I hate to break it to you, but those kids who cannot read now will be the bane of your existence forever. FOREVER.

Love, another precocious reader.

My husband and I joke that we want our kids to be "slightly nerdy." Not nerdy enough to get made fun of, but too nerdy to get invited to the "cool" parties.

This reminds me of when my father decided, when I was 6, that it was time I started getting up on my own. So he lugged some ancient alarm clock from the 60s out of the basement (it looked like a huge gray brick) and set it for the following morning. Well, when it went off, it was not the subtle beep we get now. It was an ear-piercing bell-like alarm that caused me to wake up crying in terror and him running down the hall like a maniac yelling "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The next day he bought me a Mickey Mouse clock. I feel for Leta. It's a terrifying way to wake up.

"I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys."

as a mother of a small boy, i can unequivocally say: YES. true that.

ps - in high school i trained myself to wake up without an alarm so that i wouldn't have to hear that NOISE and start every morning in a rotten mood. though, since i was in high school, 75% of days started out in a rotton mood anyway... heh.

I've never commented on dooce before, but today I am absolutely compelled to do so. Heather, I was Leta growing up! Leta was me!

Circa 1985, but still.

I simply could not read enough growing up. Even as early as Kindergarten, I had blown through all of the "approved reading" for 5- and 6-year olds, and was visiting the library with my mom on an almost weekly basis. After every holiday, be it Christmas, a birthday, even Easter, if I had been gifted a book, silence ensued for hours on end as I plopped myself down and devoured the entire thing. I was that "little nerd," eventually growing out of my obsessive-compulsive reading and eschewing my nerd-glasses for contacts, but you know what? I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Today, I write for a living. I'm a copywriter at an ad agency. And I love that my love for the written word has translated into me being able to play with the written word every single day. I hope to God I have a little girl like Leta (and a lot like me), but something tells me I'm going to get the girl who loves sports and would never, ever, EVER be seen in a pair of heels.

But this post? This gives me hope.

I'm with Leta on this one. The noise of my alarm at 6 in the morning is my least favorite sound in the world. Especially since, as a high school teacher in Watts, my alarm is usually followed by a day spent both corralling squirrelly teenagers AND wondering if the drug deal on the street corner will go horribly wrong.

Ha! I don't think I'd have been able to resist laughing at her either, truth be told.

i want you for my mom. i'm 38. is that ok with you?

Oh...and before I forget. *kicks poster #32*

>.>

That's the exact same reaction I have to the alarm clock.

We have the same rule at our house. You may not come out of your room until there is a 7. My four year old wakes me every morning screaming...THERE'S A SEVEN!!! THERE'S A SEVEN!!! Nice to know I'm not the only one.

Playdates? Meh. Why go to the trouble of having REAL children over when you can just go buy one of those life-sized kid dolls? You know, the ones where you pull the sting on their back and and they say a bunch of charming things like, "I like you!" or "Mama!" or "MINE!".

I can even pull the back string with my toes so I don't have to put down my cigarette and gin. It's the best $2.00 I ever spent at a yard sale.

"...and I want to go, sweetie! Put down the literature and come watch TV. Tyra's on."

^^LOL! Loved that part. It's great that Leta likes to read. If I ever have children they'll have a whole library of books to look forward to before I even give birth. ;o)

Can't wait to see who baby #2 best resembles. Will she be the book reading nerd or gutter-TV watcher of the family?
(We all know whose side of the family she's going to take after, but still, ya gotta wonder.)

The biggest fool is the parent who casually says "yea, we'll watch your kid for a couple hours. They'll play!" Hello, Department of Destruction? I think you left something here and you need to come get it right now!

I take it the play date wasn't Tall Hannah, then. She could have gotten things from the top shelf!

Also, my spam prevention codewords are "landscape coeds". I like to think it's a job description.

i used to sit in a quiet corner and read for hours at that age too. i'm not sure my parents were quite grateful enough...

My four year old wakes me every morning screaming...THERE'S A SEVEN!!! THERE'S A SEVEN!!! Nice to know I'm not the only one.

My now 17 year old is also one of the book people and it surely has made his life easier. However, I will never forget the playdate with a non-reader little boy who thought that books were bad and should be put in jail. In this case jail was our stall shower. It took the little darlings about five minutes to completely clear two huge bookcases. The shower was filled about halfway with all the books, and it took me about three hours to sort them out and get them back on the shelves. Luckily the bookcases were firmly attached to the walls as the boys had to climb them to get to the highest shelves. And where was mom while this was going on? Putting out snacks...

Yeah...if she's anything like me, hearing that noise any time during the day will actually trigger a slight feeling of nausea one of these days... It's bad enough having to hear it when you actually have to wake up in the morning, but to hear that noise on tv or in radio commercials any other time just aint right.

"And I knew instantly that I should just carry on with my life without being burdened by the answer to that question. I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys."

Yup, that about sums it up.

Signed, mother of boys

"I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys."

Yup. And then it's replaced with The Vacant Stare during adolescence. When it happens, I assume he's trying to tell me "I don't know" through telepathy, in which I think loudly in reply 'ARE YOU HIGH?'.

Sigh. Toys. I miss toys. :)

Along with taking out unknown/forgotten-about toys, an alarm clock button being switched to "on" and items being taken down from the top of a closet, you can look out for:

Chips and candy that were supposed to stay in the kitchen, now rubbed into the bedroom carpeting. Nail polish on the carpet. Big towel on the carpet, covering nail polish remover spill. Misplaced tv remotes, clothes left behind from costume dress-up time, YOUR make-up (taken from the don't-go-in-this-room room) now being misplaced and/or ALSO on the carpet. Slimy cheeto concoctions rubbed on door handles and walls, Barbies with new, SHORTER hairstyles and (my personal favorite) the cute, little Tangerine iMac misplacing it's Operating System!

I think children have the ability to stop time. It's the only way they can do these things undetected.

As the mother of two boys, I can confirm that yes, I often have to turn away and realize that I don't want to know the answer to the question. (Interestingly, the question often is how they got the game off the high shelf in the closet. Must be that parents and kids are all fundamentally similar!)

And I have to laugh at your little "nerd" and her reading habits. I was definitely the little nerd growing up and it took a long time for me to be comfortable with it, but I finally am. My mom, on the other hand, is still scarred. We took a several-week-long trip across the country when I was about 7 years old and I spent the entire trip reading the "Chronicles of Narnia" series. My mom says we had to keep stopping to buy the next one in the series because I was reading them too fast, and she was frustrated because I refused to acknowledge any of the beautiful country we were passing through. Of course, as we learned that fall, my vision was horrendous! I couldn't see anything more than about 10 feet away, so Mount Rushmore wasn't that impressive. She's still embarrassed that she didn't realize it, but neither did I, so I certainly don't hold it against her.

But whether or not it was inspired by my inability to see, I did learn to love books and still do. I'm glad Leta loves them so much too!

Mother of one 2 1/2 year old demon spawn... and less I know about what he's really up to, the better. There's this devilish look he gets on his face where his eyes light up and he grins so huge that you want to cringe at whats about to come... and it usually involves screaming and something about to be broken or seriously damaged.

Reader kids = Great SAT scores

Start saving for Harvard!

Yay for early reading! With kids like that, it helps fight boredom, which helps promote sanity... for us.

I'm still figuring out how to get the kids to learn to go to Dad's side when they need something at night. Doesn't seem to happen. Maybe because he just rolls over. Hmmmm.

LOL-- does calling myself that make it true? :)

Love Leta posts-- we're a couple of years behind you in this crazy adventure, and I love the glimpses you offer of what might be in store for us (if we're lucky).

Sorry about your toe.

@10 - Jenny: SUCK IT.

Ohhh, girl, I'm so with you. Last night I pulled a full-on MOMMY BOYCOTT. We ordered pizza and I let my three-year-old son watch America's Next Top Model with me. It was awesome.
"Why is that lady crying, Mommy?"
"That man's bowtie is SO SILLY."
"Why are they all in bathing suits, Mommy?"
"Her hair is really really big."

He watched the entire thing and then I put him to bed. Dad was kinda proud of him being so into the bathing suits.

This morning, I heard him wake up and sing in bed. Usually it's the alphabet song or B-I-N-G-O, but today, I am not shitting you, it was "Naah nah nah nuh nah nah, wanna be on top top top top?"

Great.

Better start saving for harvard. :P

and then one day you'll have a teenager and hear that noise go off every nine minutes until you're forced to go in their room to wake their lazy teenage butt up! Every. Morning. Ugh.

Simpler times, simpler times...like before your kid went to school and you didn't know what the School Council Committee was or even had the thought in your mind to join. Then you get sucked in and before you know it you're helping in your kids class, doing Pizza and hotdog lunches, Healthy Snack program, math-a-thon and other fundraisers....all while thinking how have I been able to find the time to do all this when I could barely find time to do laundry before....yet I can't stop because I LOVE that I get the chance to spy on my child at school...er, I mean help out with furthuring his education. Ah yes, simpler times! Guess we'll all be sleeping on our two week old sheets for yet another night (or maybe it's three...I've lost count).

And then you have the 2nd child, let's say a one year-old now. The three year-old has a playdate and, that night at midnight (because that's the time for which they are automatically set), the same NOISE suddenly goes off in the ONE YEAR-OLD's ROOM!!! If you're lucky, you'll have a sleeper who actually sleeps through the NOISE. Of course, you still have to get your ass out of bed, tiptoe into the baby's room and turn the damn thing off! I say ban playdates!

I haven't read through all the comments, but I hope I'm not the only one wondering about your friend's new baby? Name? Pics? Mother and baby both doing ok? :)

Too funny!! Tell her teacher to check out my blog for some extra book suggestions for Leta.

Oh my gosh ... sooo funny. Thanks for sharing. And everything you wrote about playdates is sooo true!

And having two kinds is like having a permanent play date.

"At one point I was like, wait a minute, how did you guys manage to get this box of games down from the top of your closet, Leta? She didn't say a word and instead slowly tilted her head to the side while slyly turning up the corners of her mouth. And I knew instantly that I should just carry on with my life without being burdened by the answer to that question. I imagine that the exact same exchange happens almost every hour with women who have given birth to boys."

Love it! I (like many of your newer readers I'm sure) started visiting your site after your Oprah appearance. I'm expecting my first (a boy...I fully expect to have many exchanges like this) this August.

Thanks for writing it's a blast to read!

My mum credits Sesame Street with teaching me to read as well... I was reading at three (mum initially thought she had a genius child but eventually realised that I just liked books!!).

A real Nerd reads software books for bedtime reading - like my you nephew. He is a MEGA NERD at 8.

Totally understand "THAT NOISE", mine just happens to be the sound of door knobs opening doors....oh no, they're up!!!!!!

Your columns are great. Ignore the idiots who flame you. If you ever stop writing, I'll go to SLC and kick your bony (cute) ass.

Im co-dependent on my alarm. I use it as back up to my dog who wakes me up at 6 am each morning. I hit the snooze bar and the dog gets mad at me. Years ago when I was a senior in college, I nearly failed a final presentation which was held on a Saturday for a class in my major. I thought I set the alarm for 8 AM. It didnt go off. The professor said the doors would be locked at 9AM and you'd fail the class. 8:45 I woke up in a panic realizing the alarm didnt go off. I high tailed it across campus and made it in time. Mind you I looked as if I rolled out of bed (I did) and was not in a suit like I should have been. It was a trade off. The alarm clock will be your friend. Just be careful of alarm clocks at disney world... They are done in the voice of Jiminy Cricket. Highly annoying when you have an early morning flight.

I'd give anything for Katie to WANT to wake up in the morning. Getting her up for 9:15 kindergarten, she acts like she's 16 and I'm waking her up for early morning seminary. And stop complaining that you're huge. 'Cause you're not. And be glad you don't have to wear maternity garments. Then you'd really have something to complain about. Cry me a river, lady!

Muwhahaha, THAT noise.
>:]
Haunts us aaallllll.

One of the best bits of advice I ever received....get a nightlight..a nice big one..that is very obvious when it is on....not one that is triggered by the dark...anyway...connect it to a timer...tell your child that when the night light is on...it is bedtime...when the night lite goes off...it is time to get up! It works perfectly and here is a secret...if you want to sleep in a little late one morning..just change the timer settings!

Ah parenthood anoying but fraught with humor.

I laugh because I've been there sista!

Reading rules. Alarm clocks suck. Leta is coming to these enduring truths early in life. A blessing and a curse.

So you have a reader. Good for you! Readers are usually very smart.

As a mom of TWO boys, one is seven and the other is two, that statement says it all! Just wait until she teaches the youngest to do all the dirty work!

My 6 year old daughter and her best friend spent a recent afternoon pasting fallen feathers from a dress up boa to her bedroom walls with Vicks Vapor Rub.... AAHH playdates. On the bright side, my husbands chronic winter cold cleared up overnight.

We had to put an alarm clock in my daughters room around that age too. We wrote a big 7 on a piece of paper and pasted it up on the wall above the clock to remind her of what a 7 looks like. The problem was she would come at when there was any 7 showing...like say, 4:07 or 2:57. We put duck tape over the last 2 numbers to solve that problem in hurry.

Two days ago my four-year-old showed her playmate her anatomy book, pointing out where your urine is stored. At least it was a break from princess play. I love nerds.

Hilarious!
We have twin 5 year old girls so we have "Play Date Aftermath" everyday -- ;o) Count your blessings now - just wait until your #2 & your #1 play together & pull everything out every day!!

My five year old future nerd is also reading (so is her best friend, which is nice). Her preschool has a kindergarten and the kindergarten teacher and librarian have been great about working with them to find books that are a little challenging for their reading level but not so long that they get discouraged before finishing, etc. At any rate, my daughter has been reading the "Magic Schoolbus" series for the past couple weeks and they've been pretty good. We also have her read story books out loud at night to her 18 month old sister and we've started reading longer books (the Little house series, for example) with her, one chapter at a time.

I am totally with Leta about THAT NOISE.

I am so with your daughter - I say exactly the same thing every morning when my alarm goes off to get me out of my nice warm bed and on my way to my chilly and half empty culinary school (and, somehow, the steel prep tables at cooking school seem a whole lot colder than those scratched wooden desks at regular school).

There has to be a more civilized way to do live!

Cheers.

In the 6th grade, my teacher basically stopped grading my english assignments and gave me some weird random english book from the 1950s or something, and i started to diagram sentences to my hearts desire. so you can call her "your little nerd" if you want, b/c face it, that's what she is. (and clearly from this post, i've done away with much of what we like to call "grammar".)

to cattitude-

if it's of any hope to you, i have an older brother who sounds a lot like your son and what you're going through, and he came out okay, all things considered. it sucks and unfortunately b/c of his age and his own issues with life...well, yeah, it's probably just going to suck for awhile. just realize that your son is his own person and is responsible for his own decisions. and it might take him a little longer than you like for him to realize the consequences for his decisions. anyway...good luck, and i'm sure he knows you love him.

great post! ribbons and bubbles!

I hope I never have boys! I do hope my girls are slightly nerdy, though. Your masthead this month is very pretty!

LOL. Dooce, I love you.

I absolutely loved this post. Our one-year-old is notorious for setting her alarm for some ungodly middle-of-the-night hour because she loves to push buttons. How she managed to actually set a time and turn on the alarm in her random pushing of buttons is beyond us. But after it happened twice, we finally moved it to the top of the dresser where she can no longer touch it.

well, that's exactly what I do every morning when my alarm goes off

My daughter Halley was a kindergarten reader, too. I have a picture of her that year where she's leaned all her Laura Ingalls Wilder books against the TV and she's pointing to them like she's Vanna White.

My friend Sid started a book group for a group of our daughters when Halley was in fifth grade. Her daughter was in middle school. There was a three- or four-year age range. I think they met all the way through high school.

Sid used to call them our happy, little nerds.

I'd post a picture of my daughter if I could. She's 23, a newspaper reporter and gorgeous. All those girls are, and accomplished in a number of areas.

(But I know you're not seriously worried about the nerd thing.)

She's like Roald Dahl's Matilde. Can she move stuff with her eyes as well?

You should introduce Leta to the Ramona book series by Beverly Cleary . . she would love them I am sure.
Ramona Age 8 is a good one !! You will find her sitting quiety reading and giggling every so often with these :)
Happy Reading Leta !!! (by the way, my older sister was/is a reader, now a doctor and I am the 2nd child and was/is nothing like her at all!! I was my parents challenge for many years!! only warning you about the "2nd child" syndrome :)

This is going to sound random but I just had a thought. You need to call this baby Maya. Leta and Maya. Works. Think about it. Word.

And I'm sure you aren't finished finding all the things those two were into.

Wait until you start looking for a spatuala..........

I think it's great she's so excited about reading and learning. I was too...I wanted a microscope when I was little I was so excited about science.

My 6th grade teacher once called my mother into the office to tell her I'd never amount to anything because I always had my nose in a book. Ummm okay? Apparently after all my work was done in class, I'd read instead of talking and getting yelled at so that was deemed bad.

We are hoping that our 2 1/2 year old and baby #2 on the way will turn out to be huge nerds. The nerds are more likely to be home on a Saturday night then out roaming the streets as teenagers. Is there a parenting book on how to raise a nerd??

I was a dainty little nerd myself... Reading at three and whatnot. I hope to whatever deity that's in charge that my 2 year old becomes that kid- I think we are on our way, with the obsession with dinosaurs and their proper names. Ever hear a 2 year old say "pterosaurs"? It's really cute, I swear. And I get that look for calling mine a monkey, a pumpkin,or a turkey, or a turd. Because that's just how I show affection.

Late poster
We caught our son, not once but twice, reading in the middle of the night (with a flashlight) the answers to "Trivial Pursuit" and "Masterminds", games we played fairly regularly back then. He was 12 and would read pretty much anything unless it was assigned reading ~ sigh.

It's true. Now at 28 y.o., he is a very good writer, with a very good vocabulary, except when he's around his buds, then he reverts to ghetto-mode. We tried to explain to him that this isn't what is daughter should see, but we keep forgetting that he knows everthing. I mean, what 6 y.o. should seen Hellboy???? Jeez.

My advise is simple, let Leta read as much as she wants, throw in some fashion books, and hide all of the flashlights.

Good luck. ;)

God, I just love that little kid, I really do.
Go Leta! Books are the best! I was a voracious reader who never wanted to sleep ever. For my fifth birtday I wanted a real flashlight and no one could figure out why....to read under the covers at night and not have to hold the button down on my tiny keychain flashlight (it hurt like hell after a while). I would be up at 5AM looking for books and all I could find were the classics..you know the fancy gold-embossed ones your mom got back in the day at the grocery store with special coupons? I can remember reading Tom Sawyer and not knowing what half the words meant. LOL and I had two much older sisters and I read Love Story, Fear of Flying and the Happy Hooker before I was 10!

Luckily Leta lives in a more evolved time...ooh and she has computers, how exciting. When I was a kid in the 60s, you couldn't get a card for the 'grown up' part of the library until you were in 7th grade! I was stuck with awful baby books that took 5 minutes to get through. Needless to say, I spent all day in the adult section reading books I couldn't take home. To this day, my mother insists that's why I'm so pale skinned LOL.

I like the new masthead!

-->Oh my goodness, that made me laugh. Thanks for being such an excellent story-teller.

As a mother of a 13 month old boy, I can totally vouch for that statement. He is a 22 pound tornado. Cabinets, drawers and shelves are cleared out onto to the floor within minutes. He has no interest in toys, only chemical laden products. Which he proceeds to put in his mouth. I use to run after him and pick up everything 374893619 times a day. Now, as long as he's not bleeding or on fire, I let him do whatever he wants.

I recently discovered your blog and i have to admit i find it very entertaining and informative. I spend most of my lunch hour reading your older posts.

I have an 8 month old daughter, and I'm sure you are going to be a very big help in how she is raised.

Keep up the great job!!!!!!!!

This is so funny and true. My daughter has 2 best friends in her preK and we often do playdates with both at the same time. The destruction from three little bodies is awe inspiring.

And "That noise! That noise!" is exactly what I think every morning myself. Once it starts, it never ends.

When we tried that clock number trick with my daughter, she asked me to write down the number so she'd remember. I wrote 7:00. the next morning, I was so smug when all was quiet until well past 7, and then I heard her crying in her room... I went in and she was sobbing on her bed with the 7:00 note clutched in her sweaty palm. She had to pee really really badly but the clock never said 7:00! It said 7:04!

Learning to read early was seriously the only way I survived childhood. As the youngest of three, I was always relegated The Hump in between my sister and brother in the backseat on whatever hair brained family roadtrip we embarked upon.

Losing myself in the pages of the Black Stallion series kept me from trying to fight back against those two idiots smushed in next to me and probably saved me from many a pummeling from either of them (and my parents).

Reading is fundamental - to your safety - as the smallest in the backseat of the station wagon.

good lord, I am slow. I just today realized that the slivers of picture open up into a full post when you click on them. I have lots of stuff to go back and read. and I think you're probably more normal than I was thinking you were with those little snippets of picture and post.

I enjoyed reading this.

Thank God the alarm hadn't been set for 3am, right?!

That "blast radius" that you lovingly refer to? That will be an everyday occurance once child #2 gets up an playing. Just warning you - life of order with one child will never be the same (of course it's a blast of joy... ;) )

Hilarious! I so enjoy your writings about Leta (and everything else). I have one just like her - a lovely albeit tightly wound little nerd. I just got her an Atlas to read. It has kept her busy for a couple of days now.

And hey, it could've been worse, like 3 am.

Thank you for sharing!

I don't mean to sound like a dumbass, yet I realize I will indeed sound that way when saying this, but: it just occurred to me that I could put a digital clock in my daughter's room and get her to stay in there. That's absolutely genius. Why didn't I think of this a few weeks ago? My daughter's been sneaking in my room at all hours. Problem solved. Thank you.

As always, you crack me up! I can hardly wait until I have my own spawn, and you've gotten me very excited about this whole process!!

Little boys master the shy smile before they're even off the boob. Of course, my son's tell is the squinty eyes, as soon as I see the squinty eyes I'm ruffling hair as I wander off mumbling that I just don't want to know.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss... but I'm glad I know his tell now, for the gods only know what kind of havoc he'll be wreaking when he hits those teenage years.

This is great! As a mother of a 15 month old and 7 week old, I don't even remember what THAT NOIIIISSSEEE!!! is anymore since they wake me up far earlier than an alarm!

i was exactly like Leta, reading all the time. to the point that my parents had a 'no books' rule at dinner, and my mom automatically told me to 'finish the chapter and then turn out the light' every night when tucking me into bed, a little early, because she knew I'd read two chapters instead of one.

the internet has replaced books for me now (mostly!).

ha ha ha! Leta sounds like me as a kid - my first ever report card from school has a comment from my teacher saying that my reading ability was very advanced for my age. The only difference was that my parents used to be telling me to go outside and get fresh air instead of turning the TV on!

I've just stumbled across your blog and I've read all the newsletters to Leta and I have to say that you are an AWESOME mom and person to be giving her such a great thing like the newsletters. When she is older and you give them to her to read I really hope that she will appreciate them and how much you love her. It's something that I wish my mum had thought of doing when I was smaller - I love hearing little things about what I got up to as a child. This will be something that will help you remember her childhood just as much as she will.

Simply awesome. Your writing, and eye for the story-telling, just keeps getting better.

Let me give you a tip right now about alarm clocks. They come in handy when those youngsters are teenagers. When they go out on dates (or whatever), you set the alarm for their curfew and tell them it better not go off and wake you up! That means they have to be home in time to turn it off and you don't have to stay awake waiting for them. It's the perfect solution. I had a really obnoxious clock that was a rocking horse. It whinnied and neighed and could wake up the entire neighborhood - my kid was never late!

That noise still makes me feel sick whenever I hear it during the day time. It makes me want to vomit.

See, that's why I use my ipod's alarm and wake up to very quiet new age music. THAT NOIIISE is evil. Pure evil.

I don't think you'll be taking Leta to church anytime soon but if you do, be sure to monitor her reading material before you leave the house as she gets older. My mom let me read through church because I could not bear to be without a book in my hands for years. Until one Sunday, an older lady sitting next to me read over my shoulder and told my mom that she was horrified at what I was reading, and I was not ever allowed to take a book to church again.

The book was "Deenie" by Judy Blume. And I'm sure that woman was right, God would not have wanted me to read that book in his house. But...it was good.

Maya! I think that would be a beautiful name for a new baby girl.

I have 3 boys, ages 8 mos., 4 yrs, and 10 yrs. And yes, you were correct about parents of little boys asking that question quite often. It doesn't even take a playdate! My 4 yr. old is the most inventive...He has found toys that his older brother forgot he had, that were stored in the top of the garage! When we ask him how he got them, he just shrugs and says, "it was easy!" And I know what you mean about the nerd thing, too. My ten year old was bored in 1st grade. His teacher had to bring in older work for him to do. She promised him that he could do it if he would finish his regular class work! My four year old is learning how to read fluently and can add into his teens. My 10 yr. old spoke sign language at 1 1/2 (he is not deaf), was doing scientific experiments at age 3, and he knew his presidents by kindergarten. My 8 mos. old has a vocabulary of 9 words and is learning body parts...he can tell me where my eyes are! I know I have went on and on, but I am proud of my children and their accomplishments. Congratulations to you and your family for your wonderful daughter and the new baby coming to you in the next few months!

I can't wait to see what Leta says when the new baby arrives. Talk about "that noise".....
When my second son was born my then 2.5 yr old had some crazy ass comments about the "thing that needs to go back"....
Have a great week. :)

I was quite the reader when I was Leta's age too - I soon worked my way up to adult level reading in 3rd/4th grade. My mom then made the mistake of boasting at a PTA meeting that her daughter was reading The Prince of Tides at age 10. Nothing like gay anal rape scenes to make a kid grow up and to incur the disappointment of suburban mothers.

I would have laughed too. That's a great reaction to an alarm.