32 weeks
This week marks the 32nd of my pregnancy:
First of all, how much does that photo look like a recreation of the new Pepsi logo? Seriously, go look at the new Pepsi logo and tell me it doesn't look like the belly of a pregnant woman who refuses to buy maternity clothes. Or maybe the profile of a someone who had a serious run-in with a beef burrito.
Yesterday I wore a set of ridiculously tight work-out clothes when I picked up Leta from school, and as I walked in the door one of the kids in her class who was pretending to nap on a tiny cot sat up straight, pointed in horror at my belly and screamed, "YOU'RE HUGE!" I guess I hadn't seen this particular kid in several weeks because of my book tour, so I can understand how the growth of my torso might have jarred her a bit. And because this kid has at times been aggressive with Leta I sort of fell prey to my more sinister instincts. Meaning I instantly contorted my hands and arms to look like bear claws, snarled my upper lip and then ROARED. WHILE LUNGING AT HER. I don't know what came over me, it just seemed like the right thing to do. I'll admit, that wasn't one of my finer moments. But there is only so much fun you can have with all this extra body just hanging around, and scaring the living shit out of kids just happens to be at the top of that list.
Life in this third trimester is so much more uncomfortable than it was last time around, if that is even possible. I think it has everything to do with the fact that I'm five years older and certain body parts just don't bend or maneuver with the ease that they used to. Every morning before we go upstairs for breakfast I take a look around and figure out what I'm going to need for the day. Because SO HELP ME GOD, I am only going to climb those stairs once. This means that Jon spends a good portion of his day retrieving things for me from the basement. He's very good about not complaining about this act of service, although once after bringing me a pair of pants he dared to ask why I just didn't put them on first thing in the morning. And I was all, dude, may you never have to experience a state of being that makes PUTTING ON PANTS such a loathsome set of contortions that you would seriously consider going grocery shopping in your panties.
Quick note: our house is built into the side of a hill so that from the front it looks like a one-story house, from the back a two-story house, and all our bedrooms are on the lower floor where one side sits against the hill and the other side opens up to the backyard. Saying "we go upstairs to the kitchen" was confusing a lot of people and causing them to cry. A lot of the houses in Utah are laid out this way because of the number of neighborhoods built into the hillside. And since I'm answering this frequently asked question, maybe I'll just go ahead and clear up some other burning inquiries: 1) no, Mormons are not required to wear their heavenly underwear during sex, 2) we continue to live in Utah despite that fact that we are no longer Mormon because my mother has threatened to cut me out of her will if I move her grandchildren out of state, and you would stay put, too, if you thought you might lose that enormous collection of ceramic roosters, and 3) no, absolutely not, I do not recommend you go out and adopt a miniature Australian Shepherd. In order to get the breed that small they've had to remove the brain.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Kristan said:
Yeah, Pepsi Logo = me right now with my Chipotle baby... :(
2. Erin said:
Um, that new Pepsi logo looks exactly like a penis!? Doesn't it?
3. Shannon said:
I love how the look on your face seems to say "Hurry up and take the f-ing picture so I can go lie down."
4. Vicky said:
Why is that when a women gets to be 32 weeks and counting (or sometimes even sooner) our backs some how "meld" into our butts? Seriously, why does pregnancy give you pancake ass till after delivery?
5. Marianne Wille said:
Wow! You look great.....you have that pregnancy glow.
6. grace said:
Aw, Coco gets such a bad rap. How can you really expect something to be that beautiful and smart at the same time? We make allowances for our movie star crushes, pop stars and apparently our Miss USA contestants, why not our adorable fuzzy creatures? And I fully rationalize that my lack of supermodel looks is compensated for by the fact that I'm reasonably intelligent. Dumb it up, Coco. Being pretty is hard work.
7. Jeanne said:
ceramic roosters? really? I am jealous!
8. MiddleAgedWomanBlogging said:
Glad it's you and not me! Sorry to tell ya girls, but your back starts melding into your butt when you hit middle age too... though, I must admit, the age varies!
Good luck with your pregnancy. I'm looking forward to more pics!
9. Nikki said:
You look so great, I'm green with envy. I'm 30 weeks and a monstrosity. If I put my finger over your belly, you are a beanpole! ... HOW IS IT THAT YOU HAVE NOT GAINED WEIGHT ALL OVER. I guess I should cool it with the beef burritos, of which I've had approximately infinity.
10. Jen said:
I, too, stand to inherit a number of ceramic roosters someday. If you ever REALLY need to leave Utah, I would be happy to let you have them all. Nothing says "You're my hero" like 50 pounds of porcelain cocks.
11. Kingsmom said:
It never occured to me that the women also wore pants. Duh! Do you wear the pants over the underpants but under your pants pants? So you wear 3 sets of "pants".
Just thinking about the potential wedgie is making me squirm.
12. Anonymous said:
I'm also 32 weeks pregnant. Yesterday, when I was walking my dog, a homeless-looking man did a double take and said, "You got a TOE sticking out, there!"
He was referring to my belly button.
The end.
13. Write From Karen said:
HAHA! Pepsi indeed! Good one.
And 32 weeks?! Damn girl! You look fab-U-lous!
14. stefanie said:
thanks for answering the holy underwear/sex question. i have been trying to figure that out for months. i don't know why i care so much about the sex lives of mormons.
and when people ask you about coco, you should let them know that jack russell terriers are also huge pains in the ass.
15. Undomestic Diva said:
Personally, I am SHOCKED that you spoke of heavenly underwear AND ceramic cocks in one paragraph. Expect a letter of excommunication from the base camp any day now. You lucky bitch.
16. kcbelles said:
Wow - within the first 20; never happens :o) So wanted to take this opportunity to say congrats to you and your family, Heather. I've loved your blog for years; so bummed I missed you when you were in Seattle. I think it's a wonderful thing that you've been able to make your passion for writing work for you, both with your books and this blog. Can't wait for the arrival of Not-Maria - gonna be some fun stories from big sister, Leta.
17. Labradoris said:
I cringe every time I walk my dogs down the street past my neighbors' house, not because of their young Australian Shepherd, but what they do when it begins to bark. Usually the husband will stick his head out the back door (which is visible from the street) to scream, "SHUT UP AND BE QUIET YOU IDIOT!" and I always feel sorry for the dog. :(
But, I think the dog enacts its revenge upon the owner during walks. The dog will walk past my house first, and then about 25 feet behind is the owner with an extended leash, being pulled with his arm comically out at a weird angle as he struggles to hold on.
So I'm hoping these are only two unique cases of Aussies...right?
18. Laurel said:
Coco may eat poo, but I think my pinhead Australian Shepherd has her beat. (This is so gross I wouldn't include it on my own blog, so you should turn away if you're squeamish.) After my three-year-old daughter had a particularly successful session on the potty, I was chasing her around with a wipe and a pull-up when I heard an odd noise from the bathroom -- kind of a lapping sound along with something plastic moving across the floor. Yup, my little canine angel had finally hit the jackpot and found a bowl full of MY CHILD'S POO. I screamed so loud my better half came running up the stairs in a full-fledged panic, certain someone had broken into the house, and my daughter actually stopped moving for a nanosecond. I still won't let the dog's mouth anywhere near mine, and I don't think I'll ever look at her quite the same again. Top that, Coco.
19. La Licenciada said:
You are hysterical. HYSTERICAL! I have no words. Thanks for making my day!!!!!!!!!Thanks for that!
~Li
20. JeniMo said:
I think you look lovely! You're such a funny gal, I read your blog and say to myself "she could totally be one of mah girls!"
21. dani said:
Aha! Thanks for explaining your house. I have been coming up with all sorts of floor plans that put your bedroom in the basement but show a surprising amount of light in all the pictures.
22. Kate said:
While you may not be able to get past the dancing fetus you're currently housing, you are looking gorgeous!
Also, I LOVE THAT YOU ROARED AT AN OBNOXIOUS CHILD!! Makes me want to get pregnant just so I can do that, too.
23. Daddy Scratches said:
Heather, *PLEASE* tell me you're planning to wear that blue American Apparel body suit with the leg warmers for your next pregnancy-update photo ...
24. Margaret B said:
You're looking cute! I have a 33 week photo on my blog. Has she "dropped" yet? Mine did over the last weekend... crazy! Only 7 weeks to go!
25. Caren said:
You look amazing!! I am very jealous, because I will never look that good pregnant or not. Congrats!
PS. What about the names, Abigail, Sophia, Claudia (pronounced Cloud-ia not Claude-ia) or Elizabeth, for Not-Maria?
26. Livia said:
17.
Nope, Coco and your neighbor's Aussie are not unique cases. I have a Mini Aussie and she is about as neurotic and insane as a dog can be. If she were human, she'd be a supermodel, which is the problem with Aussies. They're so damn pretty.
27. Julie Wood said:
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking it was weird for you to have to go upstairs to eat.
28. Ingrid said:
Love today's post---although you are awfully brave posting certain material---I expect you'll be getting a lot of hate mail/comments about this--and I'm not talking about the mormom thing. I'm talking about you saying you don't recommend miniature australian shepherds. Personally, I don't care either way, but I'm expecting a lot of commentary from the "you're doing it wrong and I know how to do everything right" peanut gallery.
29. Julene said:
I cannot stop laughing at your answer to the "funny Mormon underwear" question. My godparents are Mormon and live in Utah--the first time I related my knowledge of temple garments to a friend they were sure I was making it up.
30. NeoCleo said:
Heather--
You look wonderful despite how you say you feel. In fact, you look better than I and I'm not pregnant!
Looking forward almost as much as you I think to meeting your second child. I've been a reader since I heard you interviewed over 7 long years ago on NPR and was driven to look you up on the internet.
TTFN
31. Lisa said:
Hahahaha on the ceramic roosters! My brother and I stand to inherit thousands of Volkswagen toys, all in their original packaging. I'm jealous of your roosters...
But I may be even more jealous of your ability to scare the crap out of obnoxious children. You work your pregnant belly!
Thanks for giving me something to giggle about today!
32. Erin said:
you are actually far more AT&T than pepsi, but whatever, you look fab!
33. Yellow Trash Diaries said:
I think the new maternity clothes are so cute-I still occasionally buy something out of the maternity section at Target. My daughter is now 2.(I have a big 'ol gut. My husband told me that sometimes at night when he can't sleep and is bored he plays with my belly. I have not had a decent night's rest since that confession.)
34. Amy said:
I am 32 weeks pregnant too, and I completely feel your pain. My feet look like stuffed sausages--seriously, couldn't this have happened during my first pregnancy, when I didn't already have a 2-year old to chase?! You look fabulous. Congrats!
35. Crystal D said:
Could be worse... you could look like the Pepsi logo and have a 7 month old.
I am going to be wearing last summer's maternity shirts this summer cause I am totally not going to buy regular clothes this large.
Anyway, you look pretty great, just ignore that little punk.
36. Jacqueline said:
Super Cute!
37. Danielle said:
Nah, you don't look like a Pepsi bottle. But you do look put out by having your picture taken. :)
Ceramic roosters? Wow! You're lucky! I will be inheriting lots of candleholders and my younger sister.
38. Foever Young said:
Hi,
You looking great...
I now have 7 grand kids (3 month to 14 year) from my 3 kids (35 to 44)....
I feel younger now than I did when i was 30...
Something to looking forward too.. Life is what one decide it to be...
I tune up my muscles just by running energy in that direction, and so it is..
And I have another secret too...
All the best,
39. A. Berkoski said:
What I want to know is where you find a plain white wall that big in your house.
40. beyond said:
i've seen a few houses with kitchens upstairs, it's not all that strange, especially if you use your imagination. do you think that kid in leta's class is scarred for life? and most importantly: you look beautiful. non-pregnancy clothes really become you.
41. Monkey said:
Can't resist the obvious joke...
That's a lot of cocks.
42. Becky said:
Can NOT stop laughing at your last sentence.
43. Amy said:
Ahhh...thanks for the clarification regarding your "basement". I was just in Salt Lake City a few weeks ago and wish I had paid more attention to the houses. I do seem to remember seeing more "one-story" abodes in the more elevation part of the city. Shoulda snuck around back!
I can totally imagine myself roaring at the little kiddo just like you did, by the way. But you, huge? I'm sure I'd be larger at 4 mos! You look fantastic.
44. CraezieLady said:
Good to know. I was kinda wondering about the kitchen upstairs thing, but I assure you, I was not on the verge of tears over it :) Also, all this time that I've been reading your website, I thought you kidding about the heavenly underwear! It never occurred to me that it really existed - I thought you just made it up! I like how the faq's on mormomstudies.net says that some people call it magic underwear. I think I'll go buy some panties with a trippy pattern and call it my magic underwear!
45. Amy said:
Hey, i live in Utah to, pretty much for the same reason you do. My sons grandmother would KILL ME if we lived anywhere else.
So i suck it up in mormonville. Nice to know I am not alone.
=)
And you look AMAZING!
46. Mike said:
Well, I have to go upstairs from the bedroom to the living room, dining room and kitchen in my house, too. It's a split-level and multi-level townhouse built on a hill.
47. Kaylyn said:
You look absolutely stunning.
48. Mel said:
Pepsi logo or not, you look great! At this stage in my LAST pregnancy, I taught my 11 1/2 year old to start the car for the same reason you want grocery shop in your panties. Too much damn work getting in & out of the car contorting! Good luck your last 8 weeks!
49. Parsing Nonsense said:
You look beautiful, though it can't be terribly comfortable having that much baby in your innards. I have to admit, the idea of growling at a child has never crossed my mind. However, if said child had been rude my kid before, I would probably growl too.
Regarding the mini Australian Shepherds...You can't remove what was never there.
50. repliderium.com said:
Mormons scare me a little. Especially when mentioning that weird underwear thing.
Nightmares, here I come. Thanks a lot Dooce.
51. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I really wish you hadn't definitively answered the heavenly underwear question; you've singlehandedly crushed all my Mormon sex fantasies. Now how will I occupy myself on Saturday nights?
Oh, and it's not just the mini Aussies - I had a regular-sized Aussie (my ex-husband has custody now) and he is completely and utterly batshit crazy. Uh, I mean that in the nicest way.
52. Alison (aka Cluck and Tweet) said:
I'm impressed that you have a choice not to wear maternity clothes. That just was not even a possibility for me. Had you been working out when you picked up Leta? Because I think just wearing the clothes counts for something.
53. Lotta said:
Ah, the increased fatigue. That would be directly related to old-assness. I experienced the same thing with my second child. I fear birthing the third we so badly because of the old-assness tired-ass syndrome that awaits me.
54. Lynn said:
I SO hope the story about scaring the child is true. The image in my head is priceless. A tip for your swollen feet... A girlfriend of mine got so swollen she had to leave work 2 months early because she could no longer put on shoes. It was recommended to her by a mid-wife that she find a pool and stand in it for as long as she could take it. She didn't have access to a pool so she wasn't able to try it, but from what I've read about it, it works pretty well for some people.
55. Jessica said:
You look so good! I remember the 'home stretch' it took FOREVER!!
Don't feel too bad about scaring the kid. A girl(she was 8) who bullied my daughter(age 6) got scared of my Halloween costume, and even though I could see she didn't like it, I still lunged at her and made her scream. I like to think of it as the mama bear instinct. That or we're just mean :-D
Had a dream last night that you went into labor and I was at your house(boy I sound creepy huh?) and you made me stay there in a single room for 2 weeks watching coco. Its a miracle I didn't wake up crazy(er).
56. Bea said:
I am not seeing the resemblance to the Pepsi logo...but you're not THAT huge.
57. Thecitycradle said:
You look great.
I can completely relate to how the stairs become a very evil, intimidating enemy during the third trimester! Great job fighting the enemy...
58. CraezieLady said:
Oh, wait, I stopped reading too soon - the BEST part of the mormonstudies.net faq page is this:
"Plenty of Mormons have been injured and killed while wearing their magic underwear."
If that doesn't make you pee in your pants from laughing so hard, well, then maybe I'm just Craezie!
59. RH said:
Nine months isn't that long when you think of it in terms of a prison sentence. Hang in there!
60. Jennifer said:
I gave birth to my only child 13 years ago and I don't look as good as you do.
61. Cindy said:
I think that was a totally appropriate response to the little kid. You look amazing!
62. Sarah said:
Funny post! I was one of the criers, so thanks for clarifying. I remember this time of my pregnancy being very similar. I was so uncomfortable and putting on pants was such a chore, the I too considered shopping in my panties. I guess the populace should thank my husband for doing the shopping himself. With his pants on.
63. Elda said:
You look great! I LOL'ed at the answers to your FAQ's.
64. Mommica said:
Next time Leta's classmate picks on her, you should visit the school again and tell her all about child birth, and how it only happens to mean little girls.
65. Adrienne said:
You look absolutely beautiful!
66. Jess said:
Since it seems that you get your fair share of snarky comments on your blog and that it's a rare occasion that I get here before the comments are closed i thought I would take the opportunity to tell you how great you look pregnant!
Also...I think someone up there in the comments told you have a pancake ass. Not that I'm tattling...I'm just saying.....
67. Sara Joy said:
I'm 34 weeks - my belly is twice the size of yours and so are other various body parts which are causing me high anxiety. However, apparently my feet are still half the size of yours, so I suppose I shouldn't complain ;).
I actually had to comment though because I NEVER.
FOR A DAY IN MY LIFE.
Thought that putting on pants could be so much stinking work and I about fell out of my chair when I read this post because that is so my life right now.
Only my husband isn't as well trained, he still has the nerve to chuckle when I sigh and pout at the though of having to wrestle myself into my clothes for the day.
68. Melessa said:
I'm just a few weeks behind you in my pregnancy and I also had a bit of 'moment' with a little girl at pre-school who is snippy with my daughter when I picked her up an hour ago. It wasn't one of my finer moments either, but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who does things like that. (And I have to admit, it was kind of fun. In an "I'll show HER to mess with my little girl..." way.)
69. Sarah said:
I love you, your blog, and your belly. You're beautiful. No, I'm not a lesbo. Cheers.
70. teetotaled said:
Your teeny belly is adorable. I am allowed to call your belly teeny because I am 30 weeks preggo and I look like I am having triplets compared to you :-) Not that I am complaining because all of the weight goes right to my belly instead of all over the dang place...it can always be worse, right!?
May I share with you my new pregnancy delicacy. One of the baristas at Starbucks recently turned me onto the strawberry and creme frap...knowing I love lemonade she added some lemonade to it before it was mixed. No caffeine...HEAVEN!
71. Anna said:
You've seen this, right?
http://20.media.tumblr.com/TbKFm3q6ekq99dk2rY8NVjxWo1_500.png
72. Julienne said:
Love this post.. week 32 has definitely kicked up funny a few notches ;)
73. C said:
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with twins (your nightmare) and according to my OB's measurements I'm now the same size as someone carrying a single baby at full term. I regard stairs as just plain evil and am often heard cussing when I get to the bottom or top of them only to discover I've forgotten something on the other side. I keep reminding myself the situation is temporary, but also wonder how sumo wrestlers manage to lug themselves around on a regular basis.
74. Dayna said:
Awww, the mini-shephards are soooo cute and as equally psychotic as their non-pint size counterparts. I may lose all sanity and get one for our next dog...or not.
75. Dayna said:
Can't believe I misspelled "shepherd." DUR!
76. Noelle said:
I think you did exactly the right thing with the kid on the cot. So there.
77. Kathy C. said:
You're gorgeous. Wouldn't even know you're pregnant were it not for your tummy. How do you DO that? (Stay gorgeous, not get pg.)
Thanks for posting pictures.
78. Wild Dingo said:
Hilarious! I have a "pretty" dog too...a Siberian Husky. But I have to admit, she does have "half" a brain at least. Compared to my GSD/FMD mix, she's not too bright. But as Huskies go, she's smarter than most! We call her our super model: pretty to look at, but _____(fill in the blank smart jokes).
Hey, where's the hate posts that say your chin looks like a weapon? I miss that dork.
79. Alyssa said:
We just found out that our 15-week old Aussie is a miniature (got her on Craigslist..took her to the vet and they told us she was going to stay small). She is a freaking spaz. I hope she calms down someday. Knock on wood!
80. Junewell said:
I recently had to spend a month away from home for work and my temporary apartment faced a GIANT building-sized painting of the new Pepsi logo. Do. Not. Like. Why is Pepsi, which has always positioned itself as modern in contrast to "classic" Coke, using this weird retro logo?
But anyway, dittos to all the complimentary comments about how good you look.
81. sweetpea said:
After my initial excitement over your mention of heavenly underwear. I realized that I needed answers. Please be my source for all things Mormon. Like why did my friends Mom burned her worn out heavenly underwear in a jar in the back yard?
82. 7mospregnant said:
Oh sister, I feel you. I'm 32 weeks along, too, and I want to kick myself every time I leave something I need either upstairs or downstairs from where I am...jeez louise lugging around all this belly is getting tiresome. And I'm way more pregnant-looking than you, you're absolutely svelte--folks keel over when they find out I have 2 MORE MONTHS to go. I had them doublecheck the ultrasound yesterday to make sure I'm not growing an extra airstream trailer in there.
83. karen said:
I wonder why Victoria's Secret doesn't carry the heavenly underwear line yet? Goes with the angel wings theme and all.
84. Rachelle said:
I was so miserably uncomfortable with my 2nd pregnancy that I was begging my OB to induce me at 36 weeks. She finally caved and my daughter was born a week early. And despite my discomfort and enormous size, I still managed to shave my legs and get "cleaned up" before I went to the hospital. Lipstick and all! :-)
Hang in there! You're almost done! My girls are almost exactly 5 years apart! It's a fun ride!!
85. sevedra said:
You look great for 32 weeks. Wow, I mean, you look great AND the 32 week belly is a reasonable size!
I love that you scared a child, I have been known to scare a few myself. It's good for them!
When I was pg with my first, my feet swelled so much that I couldn't wear any shoes at all for the last 6 weeks. My dad bought a pair of slip on sandals two sizes bigger than my regular shoe size so that I didn't have to go to the hospital in my bare feet to give birth.
hey, where are the haters? Aren't they late?
86. Katrin said:
I am jealous now. I do not even get away with pulling faces at kids, let alone scaring the living shit out of them.
But it is alway so tempting when they are pointing at me or rather my "look mummy, that woman has got funny hair"-dreads.
Enjoy your pregnancy!
87. Nikki said:
I know you probably feel like crap, and the home stretch is always the worst, but you look wonderful. =)
88. Whitney said:
Awe, give Coco a break. I have a mutt dog and she hasn't yet grown her brain either. I have discovered that the dog brain doesn't start growing until they reach 2 1/2 years old. It is magic, all of the sudden they become normal. I have a 3 year old supermutt that looks a lot like Chuck and she is very much like a cat now that her brain has grown. But the puppy is only a year and well, she is still brainless.
89. sranston said:
Congrats on your pregnancy, you look great and are carrying well like a true pro! I live in Jamaica, have two wonderful kids, and took up running to reclaim my body and I did, thank God! All the best!
90. Alyssa said:
As a fellow pregnant woman, I feel the need to comment about the American Apparel ads running on your website. They are promoting skin-tight, neon UNITARDS as a "comfy and cute" look for pregnant women! If getting into a pair of pants is unpleasant, unitards must be considerably worse. Plus, assuming that I'm not the only one gaining weight places other than my belly, I don't think a unitard would be very flattering.
91. Anastasia said:
I'm 31 weeks pregnant, and I'm wearing my husband's flip-flops to work today. Enough said.
92. Rachael said:
Ahhh, spiritual spankies... good times. People ask me (the exmo) about those all the time. It's actually kind of weird to be sitting there and talking about mormon underwear, but hey, they are curious and I reeaaally don't like the church, so please, get comfortable.
And I wouldn't risk losing my dibs on the ceramic roosters, either. I myself and eyeballing my mother's collection of old, dusty Readers Digests... just think of all of the jokes in those babies. Literal pages and pages. Yes, please.
93. kristen said:
First of all I never looked like this lady at 32 weeks...this looks more like a 20 week picture.
Congrats for the baby being almost cooked!
Kristen
94. PB Rippey/sleepless mama said:
Wouldn't it be nice if there were stores only for pregnant women? I don't mean maternity. I mean: grocery stores, where ONLY pregnant women could shop. The sweets, pickles and special In N Out burger aisles would be extra wide to accommodate all shoppers, who would not have to think about what they were wearing, whether their ponytails were uneven or if their stretchmarks were showing. Shopping in panties would not only be acceptable, but recommended. Or libraries for pregnant women consisting of People Magazines and enormous beanbag chairs and one special In N Out bar in a hushed corner. In my dreams, anyway.
95. CookingSchoolConfidential.com said:
I am trying to eat as healthy as I can, while munching on pate for breakfast, chutney and biscotti for lunch, and apples and garlic bread for snack (I'm not kidding, this is really what I've eaten so far today - I'm a culinary school student!), but now all my hopes are dashed by this sudden urge for a Pepsi.
Ah well. I really wasn't convincing anyone of my healthy intentions. I supposed I might as well get some ice cream to go with it.
Cheers!
96. the mighty jimbo said:
i so tried to warn you about those aussies, but do people listen to jimbo?
noooooooooooooooo.
97. Ashley said:
you look AMAZING. I am 30 weeks today and look like I'm hiding a basketball under my shirt. How do you do it!?
98. spandrel studios said:
You totally glow, despite not being able to bend. So there's that!
99. Sarah said:
You look amazing and I am amazed you have the energy to do all of the things you have been doing!
I just wanted to be lazy and bummy the last weeks of my pregnancy.
Thanks for the update and the funny insights about pregnancy. I love that you are honest and tell about the real truths of being huge pregnant.
100. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said:
You're looking great at 32 weeks! And hey, congratulations on getting this far and not killing Jon yet. I'm only 28 weeks and things are already starting to look dicey for my husband.
I'll bet it's because when I ask him to retrieve something for me, it's all on the same floor, so he mopes about it and I'm like BRING ME ICE CREAM OR MY BRAIN WILL EXPLODE RIGHT NOW. Jon has maybe figured something out about this whole pregnancy thing =)
101. Elise said:
. And because this kid has at times been aggressive with Leta......who says? your daughter? ha ha ha haaaaaaa!
102. Gail said:
I live in Utah...just below Rice-Eccles Stadium...and it's by choice. I have no parents here, nor children, nor grandchildren and I'm not Mormon, never have been. Am I nuts? Here we have 4 distinct seasons, you may have noticed the recession has not hurt us terribly (we pull those mountains in over our heads and ignore it), but it will probably hit us hard when the rest of the country (world?) is in definite recovery. It's a good place to raise children and ya know? I have some great friends here. And I'm beautifully triangulated to visit family in Seattle, Chapel Hill and Houston. You could find worse places to live. And years ago, our kitchen was upstairs, too!
103. Anonymous said:
So...what about Big Love? I love it :)
104. Anonymous said:
You look great!
105. thedogatemyhomework said:
Your picture reminds me of the Tori Spelling comment I read today: She says her belly was so large during her last pregnancy that she couldn't reach her "down there" region so her husband had to shave that vicinity for her. What a thoughtful guy. And, we all know how oh-so important it is to be well-groomed when you're in the last tri-mester. ?#%& I guess I'm extremely rude because shaving was THE LAST THING I worried about during pregnancy...how about you?
106. Lisa said:
Yes, you are right about the Pepsi logo.
Pepsi --- harumph. Was it really truly absolutely necessary to mess around with a perfectly good AND RECOGNIZABLE THE WORLD OVER logo, and if so, why, for heaven's sake?
107. Mandy said:
I cried the other day when I was trying to put a pair of boots on. I'm 38 weeks and hears ya, oh how I hears ya! It is much more uncomfortable the second time around. I have exactly the same symptoms as I had with my first pregnancy -sciatica translating to white hot heat down the front of my thighs and acid indigestion but ten times worse! Like you, I've looked pretty healthy so people are telling me how good I'm looking but I feel like absolute shit! So there is also a part of me that's sad the ride will be over soon (and the compliments on my looks with it NO doubt), as this will be the last one for sure! I have a son who will turn five soon after the baby is born so relate to the age difference too! I think it's the best. Like you, I'm so happy he will be really 'present' for this experience (and everything that's led up to it) He can't wait to cuddle and play with the baby...oh, yeah but only if it's a boy, if it's a girl 'he just won't like it'.
Also can't resist offering some names up (although I think Alexandra is a beautiful name)
Peppa-Rose, Greta, Adele, Rosa, Matilda, Tilda.
108. Anonymous said:
Upside Heather? Nice boobs. Seriously.
109. steph anne said:
I'd do the same thing to the kid!
110. Megan Putman said:
Sorry Heather. I'm wasting your comment section space with a comment on your last photo of Leta.
She is exquisite. I cannot wait to see the next beautiful being you and Jon bring into this world.
Megan Putman
P.S. My son has green eyes. But they're a lot more devilish than Leta's.
111. Kimba said:
Oh, I beg to differ. Even the "regular" Aussies are insane. I believe the only difference I've seen is less hair. More easily maneuvered into a washing machine...
Sometimes, that seems like the best option.
I don't know how you're tackling stairs at all, during the last few weeks of my pregnancy I could barely walk the pain in my hips was so unbearable. You should get a medal.
112. carrieboo said:
You look great :-)
113. Dani said:
All this time when you said heavenly underware I just assumed they were grannie panties. I had no idea they were an actuall thing. So check you out being all educational.
114. Janiene said:
Ok, I know you don't feel this way at all...but you wear pregnancy very well! I was cursed to looking like an Oompa Loompa for the last 20 WEEKS! My 5 foot frame was not very forgiving...thank goodness for the Shrinkx Belt that saved me from having to live in Oompa Loompa Land forever! :)
Also, I have to say that my kids are 4 1/2 years apart and it has been awesome!!! You truly get to enjoy each stage of each child...the good part is coming so hang in there!
Still have YOUR belt waiting...just tell me when and where to send it! Now go put your feet up! :)
115. Suzanne said:
Have you also noticed how the new Pepsi logo is pretty much an EXACT REPLICA of the Obama campaign logo?
116. Mrs. G. said:
You look really beautiful.
117. Penny said:
Heavenly Underwear: 'Sweetheart necklines usually follow the line of the bra, which is worn over the garment.'
Wikipedia is a mine of information - bra OVER the t-shirt part??? How does that work? I'm in Australia so not a lot of Mormons here or options for finding physical examples of 'heavenly garments' or how they're worn. Actually quite a lot of young Mormon men show up earnestly in Sydney in short white shirts with black ties and try to convert you in the park while you eat your sandwich but I wouldn't want to shock them by asking to see their underwear.
Could you please, please take a picture? Belly and all.
118. Alex said:
Funny post today!
119. Christy Wood said:
Yes 32 weeks is uncomfortable to say the least, but you look awesome. That has to count for something, right?
120. Amber said:
This post? This post is WHY I love to read this site! Especially the second paragraph; I absolutely love it.
Sidenote! I was pointed to http://nymbler.com/ in a post about baby names and naming fictional characters. So, you punch in a name you like, and it finds you similar ones! (I punched in "Not Maria", and it came up as a name, and then had suggestions! Xristina and Drusilla totally being my favourites!) Maybe it'll help some?
(I swear, it has real names, too. But come on, Drusilla is way more fun than Samantha.)
121. Anonymous said:
Heather you look adorable. Good for you for scaring the kiddos - that's fun even when they don't deserve it - little boogers!
I was wondering about your house and how it was designed - thanks for clarifying. I wasn't curious about the mormon undies though. :p
Thanks for keeping us updated - can't wait to see the new beautiful Armstrong lady of the house! :O)
122. Katy said:
I'll never look at the Pepsi logo the same....
123. CRUSTYMOM said:
Look at the bright side, your gloved hand isn't on fire like neverland's was back in the 80's. ":)
or was that his hair?
124. katie said:
i will sleep easier knowing how your house is laid out for sure!
and now i'm scared to get pregnant again...i hadn't thought about the whole aging body thing - yuck. it was crappy enough the first time. oh well.
125. Trish said:
you do NOT look HUGE...you look about 32 weeks...and probably uncomfortable. Next phase---telling Jon--"YOU did this to me!".
1) I thought during rapture you were not wearing "heavenly underware"?!?!
2) wow...thought it was a requirement to be Mormon to live in Utah.
3) I think you've hit the nail on the head about mini Aussies...so sorry! Then again, sometimes, even the brightest dogs are stoopid.
126. Allison said:
These are my suggestions for names: Maeve, Autumn, and Paisley.
127. Hayley said:
I live in a townhome and am 7 months preggo with TWINS. I know exactly how you feel about stairs and I do the same thing. And if I were still brainwashed and had Momo pjs- I'd TOTALLY wear them during sex.
I love your blog. And I love that your mom has a collection of breakable cocks.
128. Splat! said:
BOOBS! Sorry, I couldn't help myself
129. Rachel E. said:
Raucous out loud laughing! I've always wondered about your kitchen being "upstairs". Thanks for clearing that up.
130. Rachael said:
We have a Siberian Husky and I think she has less than half of a brain. She can't bark, it sounds like someone who has been smoking all of their life and her howl is silent. (The vet says she's fine) She runs around in circles and chews on my bleeping walls. Dumb dog! My daughter is 6 months now but I can clearly remember the hateful growl I gave to her dad when he came in the room and ask me if I needed any help after listening to me grunt for 10 minutes trying to get my pants on. I had to get up 2 hours early just to get ready in the morning and people kept telling me I did not look pregnant at all. Bunch of liars I felt like a massive cow. Congrats on your book and good luck with the new baby!!!
131. lizardmama said:
1) My husband and I (non mormon, and we really love beer) would love to live in certain parts of Utah...well, ok...we would love to live in Salt Lake City and travel to the many parts of Utah and surrounding states.
2) You look amazing this entire pregnancy (this should have been #1, but it's not...sorry, we really want to live in SLC).
3) I am inspired by you big-time in many ways. I am bummed at the moment because I was following you with my pregnancy (not stalking you...just happened to be a fan and be five weeks after you pregnant)...but after 20 weeks, our pregnancy didn't work out. You have been through it as well...and that is what gives us hope about having #2 (our first groovy child will be 5 this summer).
Groove on, Dooce! ;)
132. Hope Wiltfong said:
Thank you for taking the time to explain about split-level houses - when I first joined the church and went out to BYU, I thought they were a requirement for a temple recommend.
133. BOSSY said:
Bossy goes upstairs to get to her kitchen too! If she is in her basement! Otherwise, no. And it doesn't make her readers cry. Wait -- what was the question?
134. ...love Maegan said:
jon must be getting a great workout. ya know. those stairs.
135. Stephanie said:
Interesting house set up... Although technically I went "upstairs to the kitchen" in my old house too, so it's not that strange.
136. Lindsey M said:
This really has nothing to do with your post.... but I had to share.
I'm a speech therapist and today a client brought in a new, cool, Star Wars coloring book to therapy....and then he asked, "you got any crowns?"
While I kindly explained, that, no, I don't have princess crowns in my office, he said, "no, not crowns, CROWNS, you know, like markers, but CROWNS!!!"
Then, I realized....this is how Jon must feel
137. jennifer said:
i've always wondered about going upstairs to the kitchen, but felt silly asking. i'm glad others weren't so inclined. just finished "It Sucked...". You freaking rock and deserve all the fame and fortune that comes along with said rocking!
138. jennypenny said:
you look great, momma, never mind that kid. i am so grateful to have seen you and met you in austin. i'm the pregnant lady that totally jumped the line and blamed judaism for it. you signed my book! ok, sorry, had to get that out there. thanks, heather, and we're almost there!
139. Anonymous said:
You are huge! So much bigger than the pictures of your last pregnancy! Oh - well - I am sure you will be able to take the extra weight off. You look like you have only gained about 20 - 25 pounds so far! Good job Heather!
140. Marissa said:
I have read your blog for quite awhile and have to say I totally understand the set up of your house, because mine is the same way. All the bedrooms downstairs and you walk onto the second floor from street level.
Blessings!
141. Lolainaz said:
I am absolutely in love with you and this blog!! You are my hero! You look so amazing but the image running through my head of you trying to put on pants, saying f-it and going shopping in your panites had me rolling on the floor laughing so hard I had to change my panites!! OMG you are such a great addition to my daily must haves!! Love you love you love you!!!
And for the idiots that don't.... get the coat hangers out of your ass, this chic is funny!
142. A said:
32 weeks. Ah the memories. CONSTIPATION. Then at 38 weeks, in labor, delivery room, poop everywhere. Fun.
You look lovely.
143. Jenny, Crash Test Mommy said:
Yeah, Jon really shouldn't complain until you start making him bring everything from upstairs down to the bedroom because damned if you're climbing up those stairs even just once a day at 36 weeks.
And at that point, he should still only complain to himself.
144. Gypsy said:
It looks precisely like the Pepsi logo. They obviously saw my five month pregnant self waddling downtown the other day, tank top riding up.
I am as big as you are now, and I'm only 20 weeks. I'll let you post a picture of MY Pepsi logo at 32 weeks, so the entire blogosphere can have a rolling laugh and look at their own jiggly little bellies with utter GLEE.
145. bonzai said:
Ah, stairs. I have 16 up to the bedrooms and 13 down to the basement. There were times when I wanted to burn my lovely 75 year old Georgian house to the ground and live in the garage - spiders and all. Especially with #3 who had a birth defect that caused me to gain 20 pounds of amniotic fluid weight between weeks 27 and 33. I looked like I'd swallowed a mutant watermelon.
You, on the other hand, look beautiful.
And for whoever mentioned Jack Russell terriers - make that ALL terriers. The damn things are psychotic. Cute as hell - so sweetly deceptive. From now on, it's standard poodles. No fur to vacuum up and a BRAIN. Hallelujah!
146. goatygoat! said:
Interestingly, the Diet Pepsi's belly doesn't hang out as far as the regular Pepsi's belly does.
Hmmm.
147. Mike said:
I'm a dad, not a mom, but I love your blog. Very well written, sometimes serious, sometimes funny. Nice work!
Mike
148. Julie @ The Mom Slant said:
When pregnant I preferred to walk thirty blocks rather than climb thirty stairs.
149. ablemabel said:
You're 32 weeks along?! You look fantastic!!! Congratulations and best of luck with your pregnancy!
150. Divya said:
Thanks for clearing up the "we go upstairs to the kitchen" thing :) I confess I was confused and was always wondering what kind of a weird house you live in, structurally speaking.. :)
Love your blog and I wish I could have seen you when you were visiting San Francisco area for book signing. Hope you give another chance for people like us who couldn't make it.
151. wendy@areyoubreathing.com said:
Girl you look fabulous at 32 weeks! Super models got nothing on you. And you're way funnier too! I had no problem with your kitchen being upstairs. BTW way my freezer is on the bottom of my fridge. Love the inside scoop on the underwear. Scandalous!
152. Anonymous said:
You know, maybe if you had actually done a lot of RESEARCH about Australian shepherds first before getting one because you once ran into someone with one before and Chuck liked it, you wouldn't hate your dog so much. Poor Coco probably acts out because you don't give her enough exercise or enough "jobs" to do. She's a working dog. Don't hate her because she's bored. Honestly, with two kids I think you should find someone better suited to her.
153. Anonymous said:
You're getting a little overboard with the CAPITALIZATION of random words AND SENTENCES in your BLOG. Makes you seem schizophrenic.
154. AmyAnne said:
WTF? How hard is it to understand that your kitchen is upstairs when you say 'I went upstairs to my kitchen?'
No, I only see a penis in the pepsi logo. Sorry.
155. oh, my word! said:
Dear #153,
I think most people call it EMPHASIS!!!
your welcome.
156. Faithstwin said:
You look great- but you have HUGE boobs.
It took a good 4 years for our dogs to settle down and stop being so hyper. Mr Puppy is still a dimwit while Phoebe is smarter than the average bear...it balances out.
Ahhh, the G's. My sister had a stint as a mormon many years ago and the stories she tells. Scary and odd stuff. I have been all over Utah and can honestly say my favorite spot is Sundance.
157. Anonymous said:
I agree with the CAPITALIZATION THING - the fact that you had random CAPITALIZATION in your book is a sign of very poor writing. Of course, your book was just regurgiation of your blog anyway so I shouldn't have expected much.
158. trinsch said:
that was hilarious! i would never have thought of it, but after you pointed it out: yes, that logo is exactly like a pregnant woman's stomach no longer "coverable" by clothes. love it!
159. wheezer345 said:
Thats a good explination of your Aus. Shep. But that explination doesn't work for my nutty Black Lab. Wish it did! ;)
160. eeee said:
I'm not sure if anyone's made this comment before. But I've been wondering - maybe Chuck was the doggy version of Leta (or the other way round, since Chuck came first) and new not-Maria baby will be the baby version of Coco...
Sorry to liken your kids to dogs, not to offend, but it's been a thought.
161. Jen said:
I really like your shirt. Not too much longer now!
162. heatherly said:
Guess what is funny? You.
I read your blog every day, but this is the first time I've read the comments in a long while. The bitchy ones are hilarious! I think you should make a calendar out of them; the kind where you peel off each day as it goes by. Call it the Daily Douchebag. Heehee! "YOU HATE YOUR DOG!!!! YOU CAPITALIZE TOO MUCH!! RAAAHHHHH!"
Hilarious. :)
163. heatherly said:
No wait--DOOCEBAG!!! Daily Doocebag! :D
164. Anonymous said:
Australian Shepherds aren't really that common in Australia.
165. Hokie Deb said:
-->You look wonderful and I can't wait to see the pictures of Not Maria when she comes into the world.
166. star said:
U look so gud!
I got 2 kids n i feel i look horrible.
If u cud look so gr8 @ this pt of time
imagine wht i cud look like! (my 2nd kid i delivered 2 yrs back).
Thnks 4 being an I-N-S-P-I-R-A-T-I-O-N !!
167. Anonymous said:
Does that mean your belly is really filled with Pepsi!! I love reading your blog and I think you are a very smart funny lady. I am excited to see the new baby when she arrives. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. As I read some of these comments I realize there are some very big idiots out there. I guess I never came across so many.
168. Fat Burner Pills said:
Very good post. Thanks for the post.
Edano
169. Linda said:
You look fit and healthy, and that is important. And thank you for the comment on miniature Australian Shepherds. I have one. She is 4 months old. We are half way thru an 8 week obedience course, and I'm proud to say that I have the only puppy in class that is bipolar. I swear.
170. Anonymous said:
I love Dooce as much as the next person, and as an active Mormon, I can even laugh at my own religion, and understand that people will misunderstand us. I am not amused, however, about mocking our garments. There is nothing shocking or unusual about them. They are simply symbolic - much like a Jewish person wearing a yarmulke to remind them of their covenants. Love ya Dooce, and respect your beliefs, but please don't perpetuate the "weird Mormon" stereotype. I assure you, we are very cool.....haa haa! Seriously though, we are awesome. :)
171. Cathy said:
You look beautiful! The best thing about your third trimester is that you can eat whatever you want. Have a hot fudge sundae for me please. And pizza. And a a Krispy Kreme donut.
172. Jen said:
Since your husband doesn't have to enjoy all those months of being pregnant, it is the least he can do running up and down the stairs multiple times a day. If only men could literally share the experience of pregnancy. They might be more sympathetic.
173. PJ said:
I have the full-sized model of an Aussie and she just needs to be doing something all the time, which mostly involves a ball or her plush toys. Coco is adorable!
I have a question. If you HAVE to wear heavenly underwear to temple, how do they know? Do they take you into a room and make you show them or what?
174. Megan said:
170, dooce wasn't mocking your garments (although I will! And I might mock the enormous magic glasses too!). But dooce, I have one clarifying question: are there 'some' Mormons who do have wear to their magic undies during sex? I live on the East Coast and a friend lived with some Mormons whose teenage sons were just fascinated with her extremely modest cotton Fruit of the Looms (they stole them from the laundry!) and where the daughter was getting married and the mother, who was making the daughter her new wedding "things" gave my friend an information lecture which gave my friend the impression that the daughter would need to wear the new undies during her wedding night and beyond... No?
175. Lisa said:
I think you look great at 32 weeks! Hang in there! Not much longer!
176. Andra said:
AHHHH!!!! My future mother in law has a veritable MENAGERIE of ceramic roosters. I LOATHE them.
Whenever my boyfriend and I shop for home decor, the mantra is always "no ceramic farm animals". Amen.
177. Gaviota_mx said:
You look fabulous! And please allow me to comment on Leta's photo, she is so beautiful, she looks exotic and enigmatic, her eyes are so strong. You are a beautiful family.
178. Melissa said:
You made me snort. Actually you make me snort on a regular basis. Thank you.
179. Leigh Rogers said:
Oh please! Ya look awesome and you know it!!!! You are totally lucky that you don't carry the kid in your ass for the whole nine months. Uh...not that I was like that or anything.......actually I carried mine in my ass and my belly. I looked like Aunt Fanny in that friggin robot movie! You're great , especially for keepin on keepin on during your pregnancy. Here's to a healty baby!
Leigh
180. Tee said:
Try being 40 and nearly 32 weeks pregnant. Talk about bodies not bending how they are suppose to!
And I am right there with you with the Pepsi logo!
181. Deborah said:
Start thinking ranch house NOW. By the time you are pushing 50 (yeah, I know -- seems like a long way away) you will curse every stair you meet and try to live on one floor.
182. FlyerTemplates said:
You still look gorgeous in 32nd week.
183. SAHM: Surviving Assorted Home Mayhem said:
speaking of pregnancy and "special" underwear....
this last pregnancy I was so appreciative to be able to wear panties since during the first one (13 years prior) I wore those "magical Mormon underwear" in the MATERNITY version! Ahhhh...so much to be thankful for now. Oh, and thanks for the clarification on the "still living in Utah" thing, I'd always wondered since I "escaped" many years ago and thank my lucky stars to be out.
And, of course you don't need me to tell you this, but you look ADORABLE!
184. zoe kentucky said:
Full-sized aussies are no picnic either. We love ours dearly but I'd never get another one, even if you had a gun pointed at my head. I can't count how many pained, pitied looks I've received from people when they first meet her and comment on how hyper she is-- I say she was about 10 times more hyper when she was younger. Fortunately they do calm down eventually, they actually are capable of getting tired when they are 2-3 years old. Before that? Not so much. Insane energizer bunnies.
The one good piece of advice I got from a trainer when she was a pup is that "aussies need a job." So our dog lives and breathes to play frisbee and catch tennis balls, unfortuately we have other things to do than throw things for her 10 hours a day. Therefore she's batshit crazy. But it helps a little.
One things I do truly love about aussies is the aussie smile. Do mini aussies do the insane grin thing too? They look like they're bearing their teeth in the front, mouths closed, and their asses wiggling uncontrollably. Makes me crack up every time she does it.
185. In my other Life I was a Mormon said:
to #170 above:
"...please don't perpetuate the 'weird Mormon' sterotype..."
Umm, Mormons don't need any help with that.
186. Bethany said:
I think your Pepsi logo looks great...although I understand it may feel more like you are hauling a load of wet cement in a silk hankie. Yikes!? I scared myself a little with that concept comparison.
187. Kaycee said:
I just saw the new Pepsi logos last night at a baseball game, and you're absolutely right! The Diet Pepsi logo is a woman in her first trimester,the Pepsi logo is the second trimester, and the Pepsi Max logo is the third! Too funny!
188. Donnell said:
I never knew about the Mormon underwear. I also apparently never knew Mormonism (is this a word?) was so strange.
189. lyssa said:
I feel your pain with the brainless Aussie Shepherd thing. One of my dogs is an Aussie Shepherd/Jack Russel mix. Yeah...think about that one for a minute. oof
190. Caroline said:
Waitwaitwait. The bra is worn OVER the temple garments?!!
This reminds me of the old 'panties UNDER or OVER the garter belt' dilemma that used to plague me when I was in my wild and adventurous twenties. If one wears panties UNDER the garter belt, it looks better, but then one has to unsnap the garter belt to remove the panties. If one wears panties OVER the garter belt, it looks like shit, but certainly facilitates quick removal. I suppose the whole matter could have been resolved with CROTCHLESS panties, but ick! ick! ick.
Which brings up another disturbing question: Do they make NURSING versions of temple garments? Is nursing even ALLOWED by the Morms?
191. Anonymous said:
#190 No, the bra does not HAVE to be worn over the garment. And yes we can nurse. Honestly????? PEOPLE, WE AREN"T CRAZY! We are just regular people with religious beliefs. Just be nice. We have sex the same way you all do. Naked.
192. Tonya said:
You are NOT huge, but I had to chuckle at the comment of Leta's classmate. Kids can really boost your self image, huh? One of my daughter's classmates asked, "Is your mom pregnant?" When my child answered that I was not, she replied, "Well she looks it." I've been ultra-aware of my belly pooch ever since. Little shit.
193. Beth said:
I'd love to know where you got that "Pepsi" shirt...
And I love how one of the two captcha words I have to type in is: "spiteful."
194. kellie said:
Here in Wisconsin we call houses like yours "walkouts"-- as in "walkout basement." Also, they are widely coveted.
195. Jennifer said:
I know the final stretch is tough but you're looking great. I came over to read your blog because I read your latest tweet. I hope your toe is OK.
Since you're fielding questions there is one that's been on my mind that maybe you might be willing to answer.
Since you are living in Utah and there is a large Mormon population, how would you feel if Leta or baby to be grow up and meet someone of Mormon faith and want to become Mormon also? If this is too personal, by all means ignore.
196. karen said:
I used to live in a house where the basement was downstairs when you first walked in, so you had to walk upstairs to get to the rest of the house. It confused a lot of people around me, as well. I miss that house.
You look gorgeous while pregnant. You have that glow!
197. Amy said:
I love your blog! I haven't commented before, but after reading Anony at 152 & 153 I had to say- Thank you for your honest and funny writing! I'm single with no kids, but if I ever do get pregnant I'll be rereading your pregnancy posts. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.
198. giselle said:
I seem to live with the only australian shepherd who isn't batshite crazy...she's the complete and utter opposite an extremely intelligent couch potato. Though she does watch the television. She is energetic, but nothing like the border collie i live with too, who will NOT STOP playing. Though the aussie has the really cute way of greeting you were she tries to wag her tail, but ends up wiggling her entire behind with this huge grin on her face :-)
199. Katie said:
OMG, you look so good!
I love your blog, Heather - I can so relate to you in so many ways. Maybe someday I'll gather together enough time to sit and email you about it.
But your dog is way cooler than mine. Coco isn't bad either.
200. Bushwaxed said:
I must admit I didn't believe you when you said you have the Hamilton butt, or lack thereof. I stand corrected. But look at it this way, I've got enough for the both of us.
201. Brianne said:
Your last comment about the mini Australian Shephard made me laugh out loud for several minutes. :) Ahh that was too good.
202. Lolly said:
You look much better at 32 weeks than I did! http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/64/l_34007338be6144c3ab53315... Preeclampsia made me look and feel like ass but I'm sure that when DH and I decide to try for baby #2 I'll forget all about the trouble I had during my first pregnancy. Blah. They're worth it, right? :-0
203. Anonymous said:
Where is your butt? I see the tummy and all, but you have a tiny butt. Have you never had a butt, you lucky thing?
204. Jules said:
Wow. You are carrying so small. You're very lucky. I'm 27 weeks and WAY bigger than you are. You look beautiful.
And I am already experiencing the whole stair dilemma and pant exhaustion too. Sigh.
205. zelzee said:
You look great!
If you think your body is not as limber now.........
oh, honey, wait until you're my age!!!!
206. Brea said:
Anonymous (#157) had a very snarky comment. Maybe you should ROAR. WHILE LUNGING AT HIM/HER. I'd pay good money to see that.
I don't think I'd pick a herding breed again. We have a Queensland Heeler mix that shows no sign of slowing down at 11-years old. While she is loyal and would totally take a bullet for me, the whole stalking element of her devotion is disturbing.
BTW, you are very pretty preggers. I heart Dooce.
207. curry recipe said:
You look amazing. Much more content than the last photo. I hope the birth goes smoothly.
Thanks Dooce.
208. buy golf clubs said:
Amazing! Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos. You look simply beautiful.
Darren
209. video game blog said:
Does it get painful being pregnant? I have always wondered how the abdominal muscles cope with the extra weight. Does it hurt?
Thanks Heather.
Uber
210. Ray said:
You look AWESOME for 32 weeks, and that's no LIE! Wow. Some women at only five months look like that. You're lucky.
211. maha said:
haha you're so right about the pepsi logo!! specially that the diet pepsi has a smaller belly, did you notice?
212. steroids said:
Personally, I don't care either way, but I'm expecting a lot of commentary from the "you're doing it wrong and I know how to do everything right" peanut gallery....
213. kasey said:
you look fab girl, and i bet from behind you can't even tell.
xo
{please do stop by sometime...}
214. The Mompsy Blog said:
Heather, you look fabulous! I say you scrawl the words "A choice of a new generation" across your belly and gets some huge bucks from Pepsi as their new logo. ;)
As for the kitchen upstairs thing--we just bought a house that is a basement entry and our new kitchen is upstairs as well and if I'd known how totally incomprehensible a second floor kitchen is to most people I would have placed an offer on a homeless person's cardboard box instead just to avoid the endless explanations.
Best of luck in the coming weeks!
215. Betsy said:
You look great! I am trying to get pregnant and since I have already gained 15 pounds in the past year I do not feel I need to gain any more upon spermification. I imagine I will turn into an utter hippo.
I think Pepsi would be proud to have you!
216. keely said:
1. What other parts of your body can we tear apart??? YOUR BUTT WASN'T ENOUGH.
2. I'm reading your book and loving it. And am currently amazed that you decided to do the pregnancy thing again.
3. Also about the book: the way you talk about your breakdown and institutionalization, I thought you'd spent 6 months in a ward, waving at your husband and baby through plexiglass. Thank God for the doctor there. It seems to me that if your regular doctor had been anywhere near as capable as that guy, you'd never have gotten to the state you were in when you checked yourself in. I also don't understand why it took this special hospital doctor to put you on Prozac. I mean, once it was clear the moderately-popular antidepressants weren't helping you, why didn't SOMEONE try you on one of the REALLY POPULAR ones?
Anyway.
4. Um, that's all.
217. Jennie said:
Huge?! Please! I'm 36 weeks, and I look like I have a basketball under my shirt. At least you just look like you have a honeydew. Seriously... my husband likes to tell the checker at the grocery store that I'm stealing a watermelon every time we go shopping. They used to laugh... now they just look at me accusingly like it's quite possible that I actually do have a watermelon under my shirt! You look great!
218. fred said:
Saw you on TV and thought I'd check out your blog. I won't be coming back.
A person who mocks with disdain things which others hold dear or sacred is of very low class, but a person who does so as part of her get rich/famous schtick is below that still.
I meet someone every week who moved to Utah and stayed because they love it. Most of those are not Mormons. Most of those are highly educated people -- doctors, lawyers, scientists, business owners, managers or people who have made their fortune and can choose anywhere to live.
You should open your eyes and see the things they love about Utah, maybe you would be happier where you are at.
You know, assuming you can move yourself up the ladder of success without pushing others down.
219. Rachel said:
I just finished reading all of your posts with this one, Heather. You are AWESOME, beautiful, and have an insanely intelligent wit about you. I can't wait to read your books!
I am actually currently in the flitting back and forth between being very excited, and absolutely terrified of a possible pregnancy. My body is doing all of the same weird sh*t it did the first time around (miscarried very early), yet it's different! I'll be finding out soon "for sure" when I go to the doctor over this next week or two. Reading your posts, though, I'm bouncing between really, really wanting to be pregnant, and then being terrified! ~~~> As my uterus starts doing this strange karate-move type thing as I type.
You look AWESOME, by the way!
Thank you for bearing it all for us, and I really, really appreciate reading what you have to say!
(Oh, the comment very early on about your "eeking/peeing": I could not stop laughing about that, as I'm going through that right now! LOL.)
220. ssfb said:
I had completely not noticed that about the new pepsi logo until you say that... now that's what I think if every time I see it!
221. ljkh said:
seriously? you seriously wear your bra over temple garmets...i think that's what it says...i read it twice...but seriously? i can't think of anything else more sexy...well, maybe a post partum woman wearing them with a nursing bra on top...and a maxipad with wings!
really, no alcohol to at least make them think they might look kinda good...there's a reason i am a northern michigan agnostic...we wear deer skin bikini's, with a flannel shirt on top...and feed our infants beer from a can. ha.
222. Bo said:
Heather.....been reading your blog for years. I live here in Utah. I saw you on the news today. You looked wonderful. You are awesome!! Congrats and good luck!!
223. Katie G said:
Dooce! I came across this blog the other day and I'm already addicted. I've already told some friends about it as well. You keep me laughing...keep up the good work!
224. cell said:
thanks. You are awesome!! Congrats and good luck!!
225. Tiffany said:
I finished reading your book yesterday. It was really good. I laughed out loud a few times. I think it's awesome that you are open and honest about your experience. I'm bipolar and if books like these were more common it would have been a lot easier for me to embrace the diagnosis 7 years ago. I don't get the stigma that surrounds any kind of chemical imbalance/mood disorder/psychiatric diagnosis. I have lived with that, but if more people were so frank about the reality you lived through, maybe it wouldn't be so taboo. Thanks as always for sharing your life and experiences with the internet!
226. Tracy Evans said:
You look fab. Hang in there. Just think of all those ceremic roosters you and the kiddies will inherit...
TE
227. Wacky Mommy said:
Um. Will you please come back to Portland and contort and snarl at some people for me? Thank you.
http://www.urbanmamas.com/schools/2009/04/ivy-school-publiccharter-monte...
228. Anonymous said:
#218 - Fred
You might want to read a few more posts before YOU start putting Heather down. She talks quite a bit about why she loves Utah, and captures it in loving style in her photography.
Were you referring to her mocking of the sacred ceramic rooster collection? You kind of lost me there...
229. Kerryne said:
Heather, I just finished your book It sucked, and then I cried, and I wanted to tell you how much I LOVED every page of it. I laughed non stop and got wierd looks from my husband and kids (always a bonus). You are amazing and I love how honest and sincere you are. LOVED IT! Thank you so much for being so true to yourself.
230. Anonymous said:
I finished your book this morning, and wanted to let you know how much I loved it. You have a fantastic writing style and your stories are honest and moving. It was wonderful.
231. Reading from Nebraska said:
To those of you who do not like Dooce, just stop reading. Click your little mouse right on over to a new page. You don't have to be mean and write hateful comments. This is Heather's personal website, emphasis on personal. She is a real person, with real feelings. Yes, she makes money from it and I think if you're honest with yourself, you would do the same given the opportunity or talent Heather possesses. She is generous enough to share, openly, her feelings and experiences about very controversial topics. As a mental health therapist, I can tell you that most people are willing to do that only behind four walls veiled in confidentiality. She is paving the way for women who struggle with raising children and juggling it all. She is opening a forum for discussion so we do not have to be alone anymore. Kudos to her for being so brave. Just move on if you don't like it. It's the decent thing to do.
232. SFDC said:
Your makeup looks fantastic! How about a Daily Style on your favorite products?
233. StephVW said:
I'm 33 weeks along and have started wearing prescription maternity compression stockings every day. Putting them on requires a pair of rubber gloves and contortions that would put any Yogi to shame. Pants have become "easy" by comparison.
If we really want teenagers to take the practice safe-sex seriously, all we need is a pregnant woman to stand on the stage during a high school assembly and put on a pair of compression hose. The grunting and contortions alone would make them take a vow of celibacy.
234. Betsy said:
What's better, your posts or the comments you garner?
166 is priceless. Where'd all that energy come from to type inspiration like that?
235. MLB said:
Were the workout clothes that bizarre tight unitard thing from American Apparrel that is in your ad space on the right? Because every time I come to your blog it scares me. Just sayin'
236. BeanMa said:
Hmmm... only 24 weeks here. Sounds like something to look forward to ... ugh :(
237. Beth said:
When I was 32 weeks I looked like I was about to pop. I looked like I was overdue. It was bad. I'm nurse at our local hospital and the doctors would keep commenting that it was lucky that the OB unit was just down 1 floor. I think you look great. My baby is 5 months old and 'm still trying to work off the 50 pounds I gained. I've got 15 left to go!
238. goddess said:
When ever I see the new Pepsi logo I think of this version by Lawrence Lang.
http://www.utne.com/2009-02-16/Arts/New-Pepsi-Logo-is-a-Joke.aspx