Revelations
Wednesday, June 25 2008
File Under:
Daily
link to this entry
503 comments
Last Thursday was day four of my cleanse, and at about 3:00 PM that afternoon my caffeine-withdrawal headache subsided for a few hours and I got a rush of energy that I had hoped would be an indicator of things to come. But that night I did not sleep a wink, and I felt like puking all day Friday. Saturday morning I woke up with a sinus infection to end all sinus infections that I tried to ignore, but by that afternoon I was lying prostrate in bed moaning in pain. By Sunday the entire right side of my face was paralyzed, and I could only chew food with the teeth at the back of the left side of my mouth. Which basically narrowed down my food choices to whatever would fit through a straw. My dead grandmother was allowed to eat more than I was.
Monday morning Jon said that if I didn't call the doctor to get some antibiotics he was going to call up there himself, except he wouldn't say it was because his wife had a sinus infection, he'd say it was because his wife needed a lobotomy. Did they have any spare q-tips? How about some cotton balls? Could he borrow a pair of dull-edged scissors? So I made an appointment for that afternoon, hauled my miserable body up to the clinic and told my story to the doctor. He nodded, said, yep, sounds like another sinus infection, and as he picked up his pen to start writing me a prescription I casually mentioned that I had started a diet cleanse a week earlier. Not a crazy one, no. It's not one of those cleanses that requires you to shove a garden hose up your colon, so you can stop worrying that I am going to poop right here on the table in your examination room.
He stopped himself immediately, set down his pen and was all, you're doing what? So I repeated myself and listed off all the things that I had not eaten in almost eight days. He shook his head silently, leaned over so that his elbows were resting on his knees and said, "Do you want to know my medical opinion about that?"
"That depends," I said, not sure yet if I wanted him to agree or disagree with me. Here I had gone almost eight days on this cleanse without slipping up once, and if he was going to tell me that he thought I was crazy then I might just have to poop on his examination table. Because DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T EATEN IN ALMOST EIGHT DAYS? I COULD GIVE YOU A LIST BUT YOU'D GET BORED AFTER PAGE 200. But if he thought that what I was doing was fine, then oh my god, I'd have to go how many more days without sugar? Thirteen? I can't even count that high.
He continued to shake his head. "I am absolutely certain," he continued, "that the reason you have this sinus infection is because you're doing this cleanse. And my opinion is that you should stop."
I almost kissed that man on the lips.
I hadn't gone into that room looking for a reason to stop the cleanse, but when those words came out of his mouth I realized just how miserable I had been all week. And because my emotions were so out of whack it felt like he had told me that from now on when I peed, one hundred dollar bills would fall out of my vagina and into the toilet.
So I got in my car, drove to the grocery store, dropped off my prescription at the pharmacy and then walked over to the British foods section, picked up a package of Hobnobs, and ate one right there in the aisle BEFORE I EVEN PAID FOR IT. I had to grab hold of the shelves to balance myself because I experienced a full-body orgasm.
And then Mama had a glass of wine with dinner.
But the interesting thing has been that I haven't gone off the cleanse all that much. In fact, I tried having a cup of coffee yesterday morning, but it tasted rancid. And all day today my meals have been meals I would have eaten on the cleanse. So I think that what I experienced and learned in those eight days has made a huge difference in my attitude and awareness of food. I've already made the decision to give up artificial sweeteners and to cut back dramatically on milk, cheese, and bread. I'm also excited to eat more of the foods that I found that have no added sugars (pasta sauces in particular, and I'm loving pasta made with brown rice), and am ready to cut back on all meat that hasn't been raised ethically (yes, I know, many of you will have so much to say about this in the comments, I can see the adjectives now). This means I will most likely go without meat for long periods of time which doesn't seem like such a big deal to me now that I've found The Sweet Potato. Also, I don't see myself ever being a regular coffee drinker again. That's a huge change in just eight days.
The biggest difference I noticed and continue to notice is how much better I am at handling my anxiety, it's almost like night and day. I'm knee-deep in the middle of making revisions to the manuscript of my second book that comes out next year, and because I'm looking squarely between the eyes of a deadline I'd normally wake up feeling like I'd just swallowed a box of razors. And I haven't felt that in over ten days. It's been a refreshing break from the dizzying nausea that usually greets me in the morning.
My friend Carol had been doing the cleanse with me, and she got just as sick if not sicker than I got, so when I was driving from the doctor's office to the grocery store I called her from my cell phone, something I don't normally do because if it were legal I'd carry around a gun and shoot people who drive and talk on their cell phones at the same time, but this was important, I was about to change someone's life. When she answered her phone she sounded like she was on the verge of dying, so I told her what my doctor had told me, and I thought I heard the faint whisper of a tear roll down her cheek. "Thank God!" she said. "Thank God you got sick and went to the doctor!"
And then we agreed that we should both send him flowers.
1. Blaine said:
Congratulations on the revelation!
And ethical meat is the way to go.
2. Jessie said:
I want to thank you for being so honest and descriptive about your anxiety. It is a little ray of sane sunshine to me when I am loosing my own marbles.
oh, and also?
FIRST!!! Woot!
3. Jessie said:
damn.
4. houndrat said:
Yep, this is all the proof I need to know that caffeine and sugar are intergral staples of any mother's diet.
And now, any time I start coming down with a sinus infection, I'll take it as a sign that I need more Cold Stone (love it size, of course).
5. Anonymous said:
Dang, you closed comments on yesterday's blog, and that's the reason I'm here. I heard you on KUER...sat in my car finishing my iced latte before going back to work. I thought you handled the whole interview thing quite well. So I figured I'd find you and lo and behold a blog I read regularly mentioned your site! HOORAY! I didn't have to figure out how you spelled "deuce", um "dooce". Anyhow, she (blogger) is going to do the cleanse to. Wonder if she's reading this today. ::giggle::
6. holly in detroit said:
It's almost like you tried the diet and gave up for me...
7. Emma said:
Why is it that milk chocolate digestives make life so much better?
8. jonniker said:
Thank God. I will admit, as I said to Carol, that I am relieved. I'm glad that perhaps you got what you needed out of it in such a short time, but GOOD GODDAMN, I hated that it was making anyone sick. Because no matter how toxic caffeine and/or sugar might be, the fact that you got SICK from this is ... well, dude, it doesn't seem right, I'm sorry. Plus, I know Carol well enough to know that the woman was ALREADY careful and thoughtful with her food choices, whether she realized it or not. And I'm imagining you were much the same.
I guess what I'm saying is that you should both give yourself a lot more credit for your existing behaviors. Take what you need to take from this, but also be kind to yourself.
9. Melanie said:
Good for you.. I am glad you found a happy middle ground.I always think I will have the will power to try a cleanse out but then I wake up in the morning to six lovely((but very,very wild))children, a husband , and a full time job.. can we say Macchiato anyone? The willpower immeadiatly shrinks.
10. Mothering Two said:
Good for you. You tried it and it did have a good affect on your awareness of what you are putting into your body. I think that is what the author of that book was going for, more than anything else. Even though I eat *mostly* vegan (always vegetarian) I just can't/don't want to give up my 2 cups of coffee in the morning. That in and of itself is a big deal!
On a side note, I've been reading your blog on and off for about 3 years now. I always come back to it because of your honesty and humor. I do appreciate the time you put into this! So, thanks for being so candid all the time.
11. jonniker said:
Also, have you discovered The Roasted Carrot? I can't stop proselytizing about it. Peel and cut a whole carrot into thirds, drizzle with salt, pepper and olive oil. Roast at 425 for 25 minutes. Consume. Die of happiness. The end.
12. Anonymous said:
A few years back I had a serious case of hives. In an effort to deduce what was causing them, my doctor mandated that I go on a chicken and rice diet. I could eat chicken. I could eat rice. I could eat chicken with rice. No oil, no spices, no flavorings. That was it. I lasted about 8 days (the hives didn't go away), but after about 48 hours my brain started doing very very very bad things. My nerves were shot, I cried all of the time, my emotions were crazy: I was on the verge of taking a hostage at all times. It was the worst week of my life. I marvel at your ability to last as long as you did on your cleanse!
13. Andrea said:
I'm confused. I know that cleanses can make you sick, but isn't that just the toxins leaving your body? Based on what you said you were giving up ... sugar, bread, alcohol and caffeine, this certainly was not a deprivation diet. So I am confused why the doctor told to stop?
At any rate, I checked out the Quantum Health book myself, and while I don't have a strong opinion about vegetarianism, or sugar or almost anything, I must say that the author is way off in recommending tofu as a substitute for almost everything. I love tofu, but do a Google search. It's a processed food of the highest order that somehow continues to be widely perceived as a health food because of some incorrect notion that Asian people eat a lot of it. (actually they don't ... google it)
Anyway, I am glad you are feeling better. Not usually so preachy, but it does bug me when people who claim to know a lot about health push tofu.
14. HouseofJules said:
Congratulations on coming out the other side of your cleanse with a new attitude about food and the ability to see the difference it made while you were on it. I wondered if you doctor wrote you a prescription for Hobnobs, and if so, I'd like him to be my doctore, too. By the way, I have heard the word cleanse more times since Oprah announced she was starting her own cleanse than I have in my entire life.
Jules
15. Rebecca said:
So... feeling sick wasn't your system ridding itself of toxins? It was your immune system shutting down? Good to know. Maybe someone should email that Quantum Wellness women to share your doctor's advice. Or maybe your story could be added to the testimonials on her web page. In any case, it supports my theory that you shouldn't trust someone who calls herself Dr. So-and-so when she isn't an MD (a la Dr. Laura).
16. Addie said:
Thank goodness. Kudos for listening to your body, woman - feeling that awful is not a sign of progress or adaptation. Your body was telling you to cut it out, and you did the right thing.
Good for you for making positive changes in the way you eat and live. I agree with your feelings about meat, and we've been able to make the switch to local, humanely raised meat. Ask around at your farmer's market and I bet you'll find something.
All things in moderation...
17. Megan said:
Whew, you did it! Sort of. Good enough, in my opinion. I gave up caffeine and alcohol for 10 days and it alone was enough to make me want to see a psychiatrist, so kudos to you! I hope you got what you needed and wanted out of it, now on to some bourbon and nacho cheese doritos.
18. Kate said:
Hi Heather - I have been reading your blog for about 2 years now and ALWAYS smile or chuckle or nod my head in agreement while reading. I wish I had read your blog right after my son was born (he's 3 now) as I think I had some post partum going on there but didn't really want to admit to not being incredibly overjoyed at the whole new Mom thing. It dissapated and I'm fine but reading your archives makes everything seem clearer. You're a brave woman going through what you did and then letting the WHOLE WORLD know about it. Please know that it makes us all feel so much better. Leta is super cute and I love your monthly newsletters. I think when she turns 18 you should print them all in a book... Anyway - do you know what prompted me to write after reading for 2 years? HOB NOBS! I love Hob Nobs and they're such a rarity and I'm like that's what I'd eat first after a cleanse - if I could get my hands on some! Have you tried the dark choclate ones? Yum!
Anyway - sorry it's taken so long to say something but know that you're appreciated everyday and thought of as a real inspiration to Moms everywhere!
19. Anonymous said:
Please Dooce, check out www.kateharding.net. Kate and her co-bloggers spend a lot of time blogging about relationships with food and learning to listen to your body and eating what it needs/wants to eat. You've had your ephiphany, but I think it would be worth it to learn more.
20. @manda said:
YAY FOR QUITTING DIETS! That is the best feeling EVER! LOL
Hope you get feeling better!
21. Ozma said:
This is so interesting Heather. Because of some health issues (e.g., almost everything I ate except vegetables made me fat) and trying to get pregnant, etc. I accidentally discovered something like this last summer.
My recipe was no sugar, alcohol, white flour or low glycemic processed foods plus tons and tons of vegetables and some fruit plus sunlight (easy in the summer) plus levity vitamins plus less stress plus yoga actually made me a happy person. I mean, HAPPY.
Levity vitamins--you can google it. They are just normal vitamins. Their effect is really inexplicable. Also, fish oil pills. The vegetables are truly key though.
I could not keep it up because unfortunately, half measures do not produce the same effect. I did not go totally off the reservation. I cannot avoid high levels of stress in my job and these seem to throw things out of whack.
I know this is a boring 'me too' comment. It was sort of interesting to discover my insanity might be a physical thing, not only a mental thing. You might want to experiment with this. It hasn't lasted because my life is too insane to maintain it.
Because I am an early commenter I want to say something fascinating and existential rather another mundane health comment. But anyway...if you do find out more about this, I'd be interested to know about it. We don't have to think Tom Cruise is right or anything.
I will make this existential point: I became very optimistic for a long period of time. Now I am back to my usual tormented self and really, I think that happiness was kind of scary. What will happen if I don't live in constant dread? Am I suffering from some kind of delusion the world is not a terrible place. But I think I'll go for it again this summer just for the hell of it. A little trip to joysville
22. Jodie said:
I've been on a simmilar cleanse, thanks to my natropath, except I'm allowed small amounts of white meat and am not allowed to eat breads. At all. However, I let myself minorly slip up about once a day and I've been feeling SO great. It's alla bout realizing what makes your body feel good and your tastebuds are a part of your body! So, kudos!
23. Brooke said:
I'm so glad that the cleanse did end up having a long-term impact for you! I also hope that you feel better soon. I've been tempted to do a similar cleanse, but is a life without caffeine and sugar worth living? I guess it's time I find out!
Oh, and I'll probably never, ever, EVER look at a Hobnob the same way again :)
24. Lisa said:
Americans (myself included) eat like shit! Any cleanse or diet (or pregnancy) that helps you take things out that you can live without are great experiments in strength. The things you took out, and will continue to leave out, are the same ones everyone knows about, but very few have the courage (or time, or energy) to eliminate. Thankfully you brought wine back in though... I mean, that one was a little ridiculous... even Jesus had wine.
25. Maya said:
I wonder what could cause such a strong reaction? The no sugar, no caffeine or no meat part? Also, no traditional medical doctor would understand such a diet. On a different note Sinus Problems according to Louise Hay: Irritation to one person, someone close. True?
26. kitty said:
And here I was contemplating doing my own cleanse! Back to my three cups of coffee and random food I suppose.
Seriously, though, I've been better about my intake lately, partly because I am on a diet and partly because I want to eat better and enjoy what I eat instead of scarfing it down. It's hard when you're on a diet and you want to scarf everything down, but it really *does* give me a greater appreciation for food. Anyway, I am happy to read a post from you as always!
27. darcie said:
amen for trying. amen for quitting!! :)
28. Lara said:
Sorry you're sick, but I'm glad to hear that you've had an epiphany, blah, blah, blah...but the real revelation that I wanna hear more about is that you're writing another book! I actually made it through the whole radio interview (listened while cooking dinner tonight) and after hearing how you described the process of writing the first one, I assumed there wouldn't ever be another. Thanks for being willing to tackle another book project for the edification of us devoted readers. Hope you feel better very soon!
29. Stephanie said:
Sweet jesus. Dooce is back. I think it actually takes more courage to walk away from it after committing to it in such a huge way here.
If you're interested, there is a lot of cool research coming out about how malnutrition can work as a natural antidepressant. Combine diets with someone who is already anxious and you've got the recipe for an eating disorder.
30. so NOT cool said:
Wow. I would have thought the opposite ... My nose stopped making snot when I gave up dairy ten years ago. Maybe your nasal cavity was going through a little withdrawal, or just throwing a tantrum.
Kudos for the changes you've continued to make. I hope that I do as well when I start the cleanse on Friday. One thing that worries me is that I keep accidentally calling it a "fast". o_0
31. cristina said:
Oprah is doing a 21-day cleanse I read online. Why only eight days?
32. ozma said:
Oh, yeah. Andrea is right about tofu. I encountered this view on the internet and scoffed since I lived almost entirely on soy. Then my thyroid went crazy. Tofu's OK in moderation. The problem is probably that so many foods have such a high soy content. I cried when I had to stop drinking soy milk. But my thyroid levels went back to normal as soon as I did this.
Just like sugar. I stopped eating sugar and must shamefacedly admit that the hippies were right. DAMNIT.
I always looked down on those people who thought about everything they ate and were all proud of their millet and spelt recipes and their amaranth pancakes. (As a person who lived in Berkeley for a while, I admit that I developed a taste for muffins with the consistency of clods of dirt but I hated to admit it to myself.) Now I'm one of them.
I still shave my underarms though.
33. bradleytee said:
Did you say Mama had a glass of wine with or FOR dinner? The mood seemed to be so celebratory I must have missed it.
Kudos on yesterdays interview. Doug Fab can be a HJ(from Sara)so I thought you and Jon did a great job.
BTW, since you and Carol are sending flowers, can you add my name to the card?
34. Stephanie said:
Did the doctor say *why* the cleanse was making you ill? What mechanism is at work? Too big of a change? Too sudden? Missing nutrients? Would it be better to ease into such a thing or would it be a bad idea and make you ill no matter how you started? (I'm just curious. I have no intention of doing anything similar myself. Although I am weaning myself off Diet Coke. Again.)
35. Mrs. Wilson said:
Wow. I cannot imagine the self control it takes to do a cleanse for 8 days. I'm glad your doctor told you to get off it though. I'd kiss the guy.
36. Anonymous said:
You are inspiring anyway.
37. Jen said:
God bless the Sweet Potato, for he is probably the best food ever. Especially in fry form.
Sucks that 'the cleanse' didn't work out. Personally I'm an 'everything in moderation' typed girl, but went vegan for ethical reasons and wouldn't go back unless it was actually killing me. To be fair, I took a 'vegan break' every six months for the first year, so yeah... everything in moderation. Since then, I've felt better than I have in the past six years, so I blame the lack of coffee. Or Doug Fabrizio. But kudos for sticking it out - for eight days there you rocked my world more than usual, and we'll always have the food porn to prove it.
And hey, a PhD earns you the title of Dr. too! Just not the kind of doctor that should be doing your physical. Med school be damned.
38. leigh bee said:
Heather,
I want to say kudos to you on your cleanse AND the fact that you're not going straight back to SAD (standard american diet) right away.
I'm betting your doctor is exactly right, but I just want to say from my rough understanding of the philosophy of natural therapeutics, that sinus infection is really just a sign that your body is cleaning out all the toxins. Symptoms of illness are just a bringing to a head of the toxins that are sitting around in your body. It should be a sign that the cleanse is working and furthermore, the acuteness and strength of your sinus infection is an indication of how strong your vital energy/life force. The harder you get sick/the shorter the illness = stronger life energy/healthier person.
Everything in moderation, eh? I'm glad to hear this cleanse has turned you on to better food and less anxiety. From my heart to you, I hope the trend continues.
39. Andra said:
Hallelujah for your doctor, and for implementing the changes that work for YOU.
No diet is a blanket solution for everyone.
That being said, I'm a happy pescatarian (mostly shrimp, salmon, and tilapia) with amazing skin and a sharper memory. Yay for Omega3 fatty acids!
And yay for more DooceLit!
PS are you still signing books if we send them (return postage included)? I finally got my hands on a copy.
40. Kecia said:
Yeah, Yeah, what she said...why did the Doc say you were sick..specifically? Oh and woooo whooo to the wine and treats!
human test words: Carso Drive ... huh?
41. sheasy said:
So I am not the only one whose body prefers to be drrrrrty on the inside....
Good call. Plus now you can eat CANDY!
42. Amanda said:
Thank you for writing about your experience with this cleanse. I have anxiety as well, and while I'm not strong enough to do even a 2 day cleanse, it's great to learn that you are noticing differences.
43. Dy-Anne said:
Heather I love that you can be so honest about this-- you tried something and it sucked so you stop and take away from it what is really important instead of berating y ourself and feeling like a failure.
now for the commenter before me (Jen) If My daughter had been as sucessful at weaning herself from breast-feeding as I have been at weaning my self off of Coke she would still be nursing at almost 10 years old!!! I think Caffeine in the form of super sugary and wonderfully fizzy beverages is the worst form of addiction. I'm thinking SDA (Soda Drinkers Anon) meeting would be a good idea.*
44. Anonymous said:
Have you read "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver? It totally changed the way I think about what we eat and where our food comes from. I love that you're awareness is spurring you to action!
And sweet potatoes are seriously the best. Just roasted with a little olive oil and salt. mmmmmmm.
45. Vintage Kids' Books My Kid Loves said:
Again... I wanna mention how moved I was by what you wrote last week... a quick fix it will not be, and it probably won't have much to do with what you do or do not shove down your pie hole.
"I want to be a better wife, a more conscious and present mother, a more loyal friend, and a better listener. I'd like to handle my anxiety better. I also want to be more organized because I'm tired and fed up with not being able to find anything."
The stated above is a search we all have within us. We just have to have the courage to find it and the courtesy to share it with others. I'm still on the search sista... and as of yet, it is not there in yoga or religion or vitamins or any of those other things we cling to because we can't figure it out. The only thing I've seen that even comes close is looking into the eyes of my son. That is my only perfection...
And even he is a pain in my ass sometimes.
46. BOSSY said:
Bossy and all her worst habits thank you from the bottom of their hearts.
47. Iver Jane said:
I believe we can eat meat and do it without cruelty, but I don't know where to turn. So I'm excited to hear what you come up with. "Ethical meat" is a concept I've been hoping to find a solution to for a while.
I'm starting the cleanse Monday; I hope I don't get sick, too.
48. Shaun Paddock said:
I am so impressed that you have been able to stick with your plan. Even if you cannot stay with it to the degree you originally planned, isn't it great to know that you do have the willpower to do it? I wish I had some willpower. My family is leaving tomorrow for 9 days without me (YIPEE) and I am afraid the first thing I will do is go buy some chocolate fudge Pop Tarts. God help me.
Loves,
Shaun
49. Anonymous said:
You stop eating unhealthy things and your doctor says, "No, stop that"?
um, what?
50. J. Bo said:
Sometimes a (brief) severe regimen can jump-start a (long-term) mindful plan. Sounds like you just experienced exactly that.
I raise my glass in your direction, toasting good nutrition, good health, and good vibes, whatever that means for you and however you manage to get there!
51. Pete Dunn said:
I have a steak and a bottle of Southern Comfort with your name on it. Just say the word.
52. Cara said:
I'm really happy that you are so open about your experience with this "cleanse." It seems like so often you see celebrities - Oprah, I'm talking to you - who push these sorts of diets and regular folks think "well, heck, Oprah did it, it must be okay" and the fact is, they just aren't healthy.
By the way, the verification words for me to type in are: SENDING DEFEAT. Awfully pessimistic for a computer.
53. Megan said:
May I suggest trying the Caramel Bar recipe in the link to celebrate? They are dangerous, in all the good ways, and just might lead to another climactic day. For real.
54. Marianne said:
The Sweet Potato truly is a gift from the Gods.
Glad that this cleanse has helped you learn more about your approach to food, but it's a shame that you ended up sick in the process.
55. Jacquie said:
Eight days is cleansing enough, for God's sake.
How clean do you want to be, anyway?
Glad you're feeling better, enjoy the subdued retox :)
56. Becky said:
You're the valedictorian of honesty.
57. Karen Sugarpants said:
I recently blogged about doing a cleanse (June 12) and ultimately decided against it right before you began blogging about yours. Sorry Heather, but THANK GOD. If yours had gone well, I might have reconsidered. There goes $65!
Anyway, what I have found is that there are many blogs out there that have recipes that are super healthy and packed with natural foods - shop the perimeter of your grocery store only and check out some of the blogs I listed in my April 17th entry - Delicious Wisdom has this vodka tomato penne that my family loved and it's good for you! :)
(I didn't include the links cuz I'm trying not to be spammy)
58. Sarah said:
Giving up caffeine is HUGE; good for you! On a completely unrelated note, I enjoyed listening to your interview. You know, it's kind of Buddhist - the fact that you enjoy the writing about here and now and not having to string longer narrative together with a theme; you're staying in the moment. It also reminded me a lot of that same tendency I've been struggling with in myself. BUT, we may be rewired to be that way. Check out the article "Is Google Making Us Stupid?" in the current Atlantic. Maybe it's becoming that way for writers who blog, too :)
59. merlotmom said:
Oh, thank god! I was hoping you'd come to this very conclusion but didn't want to be the party pooper. Getting rid of caffeine, white sugar and white flour, and minimizing the alcohol, will do wonders and you can still LIVE. Congratulations and now that you have that sinus infection - nettie pot anyone??
60. starshine said:
It sounds like you really learned a lot from this experience.
I think cleanses are good--sort of like hitting a reset button on your system. In many ways, it sounds like that happened for you in spite of having to cut it short.
Good for you for listening to your body and to your doctor!
Now get well soon!
61. Jennifer said:
I made the sweet potato fries tonight. Yum. :)
Cleanse, schmeanse. You rock no matter what. :)
62. Ava's nanny said:
I did a mini-version of your cleanse and realized on day 2 how much I love Pink Prosecco. Now I won't feel guilty for having some, knowing it's hard for others, too. :) Thank yoooooooou.
63. Mandy said:
I've been thinking about doing this cleanse, too, so I'm also curious to know why it was your doctor felt the cleanse was causing the problem.
64. Ava's nanny said:
P.S. Sweet potato fries rawk with edamame.
65. Lisa said:
Good to know! You saved the rest of us from having to do our own cleanse! I hope you are feeling better! Good for you anyway, for sticking it out so long! That takes a lot of will!
66. Emily said:
No judgment, Heather. Two steps forward, one step back, you did what you needed to do. ROCK ON.
67. Fishing Around said:
I tried the Sweet Potato. It's great. I think I might adapt it into my life without the November turkey involved on a more regular basis.
68. Jennine said:
Heather,
I've only shared this with my closest friends but in this case I will make an exception.
Better Than Cleanse Cake
INGREDIENTS
* 1 (18.25 ounce) package devil's food cake mix
* 1/2 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
* 6 ounces caramel ice cream topping
* 3 (1.4 ounce) bars chocolate covered toffee, chopped
* 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
DIRECTIONS
1. Bake cake according to package directions for a 9x13 inch pan; cool on wire rack for 5 minutes. Make slits across the top of the cake, making sure not to go through to the bottom.
2. In a saucepan over low heat, combine sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping, stirring until smooth and blended. Slowly pour the warm topping mixture over the top of the warm cake, letting it sink into the slits; then sprinkle the crushed chocolate toffee bars liberally across the entire cake while still warm. (Hint: I crush my candy bars into small chunks as opposed to crumbs - I like to have pieces I can chew on!)
3. Let cake cool completely, then top with whipped topping. Decorate the top of the cake with some more chocolate toffee bar chunks and swirls of caramel topping. Refrigerate and serve right from the pan!
Enjoy.
69. Jane said:
i am right there with you on the coffee thing in terms of anxiety. you should try brahmi aswell. i know it sounds funny from a strange person with a crappy blog (mine is crappy.. not yours.. just to state the obvious).. but brahmi is like gingko belibo (or however you spell it).. but better. it is ayuverdic and just bloody awesome. seriously just try it. it will change your life. (and it is natural)
70. Lou said:
you always make me spit my milk! even though this is almost tangibly less edgy it is still funny as hell.
71. Moderndayhermit said:
When I stopped smoking I was (seriously) sick from sinus infections and colds for 2.5 months. It was insane how shitty I felt.
On one hand I think "what a load of shit" when people claim that the toxins are leaving but on the other hand...I have to wonder.
72. caro said:
Mmmm....Hobnobs. I *love* Hobnobs.
73. stevie said:
coffee is a killer. i find the same thing with most of the foods you mentioned in terms of really cranking up the stress levels.
it is the same for kids ya know.
74. lazzie said:
i think it is such a smart idea moving toward a really healthy diet. Leta will thank you when you live to be 100. (or maybe not!..)
75. EricaB said:
Sounds like you had a great experience...or at least discovered some great things because of an awful experience :)
I do think that Moderndayhermit might be right, however...it could just be the toxins leaving your body. As a massage therapist, it isn't uncommon for people to get pretty congested after a massage. My understanding is that we are moving toxins.
Having said that, I think you made the right decision! And I am glad that you are happy!
76. NukeDad said:
My little sister tried something similar years ago. She was surviving on cranberry juice, 4 mile jogs and tree limbs. Her Doctor told her that her knees were now destroyed, and to go directly to Burger King and eat a cheeseburger before her spine caved in. 2 knee replacements and 10 years later she is on a balanced diet and back to normal. Good luck to you.
77. Jennifer B said:
I've never done a cleanse before, so sorry to pick out a little area of the whole blog. But, I did have MAJOR anxiety after my third child and can relate to waking up every morning feeling like I was going to puke. Went to a GREAT therapist, cut back on any caffeine consumption, and started anti-D's! I am grateful for wise medical professionals.
78. manika said:
I'm curious...did the doc give any specific reasons why this isn't good for you? Sounded like you were eating all the right things. I guess the sudden withdrawal? Heck, if the doc says you have to have alcohol and hobnobs, you have to have alcohol and hobnobs!
79. Katherine said:
Wow, so many unexpected changes just from changing what you eat! I'm glad you shared this, it's really fascinating.
80. Ms Sparky said:
Wow. I really try to find and eat ethically grown meat. I do my best to stay off all the artificial crap. Beer is my weakness.
Good luck to you. I'll be monitoring your progress.
Ms Sparky
81. Christine said:
my god woman! you are my hero!! srsly.
82. shelley said:
thanks so much for sharing. i love the idea of ethically grown meat. but it seems like such an oxymoron in today's society. we want it. and we want it fast!
83. Kyle said:
props to your hubby. i am really seeing a different, more manly man, coming through lately. glad to see he stands up and shoves some male ego into the equation. thanks as always for a great read.
84. Lucy said:
i have been vegan for about 6 months now. i totally relate to the de-tox sickies.
85. k said:
hmm. im on an allergy elimination diet (my throat closes up and i almost die with startling frequency and i cant figure out why) that is very similar to the cleanse. i cant eat diary, red meat, shellfish, wheat, glutten, citrus, tomatos, potatos, nightshades, sugar, sugar subtitutes, any prepackaged foods, grapes, corn (corn starch/baking power/dextrose), table salt, caffine etc etc. I've been on it for over 2 months without a problem. im sad it didnt work for you :(
also, the fact that you mentioned brown rice pasta exists and its just my stupid grocery store only selling me the white rice pasta has just made me extremely happy.
86. Starsky said:
I rarely comment on anybody's blog but I found yours to be truly captivating. I want to commend you on your cleanse and lasting as long as you did. You are talking to the queen of cleansing and the kind of willpower involved, if given the opportunity, could manifest itself as the anti-christ.
What I wanted to recommend to you (if you didn't already know this), is after you finish your stint of antibiotics, you should begin a regiment of probiotics. Now I understand that the word "regiment" might cause your airway to constrict but dont panic just yet. Basically, when you take antibiotics you are not only killing the bad bacteria but you are killing the good bacteria as well. This is beyond detrimental and can lead to even worse illnesses and more frequent infections in the body.
I spent a good five years of my life as a walking sinus infection, taking a string of antibiotics. I spent another five years on a diet consisting mainly of organic, lean meats and vegetables because I was so ill. Not fun.
Yogurt is a form of a probiotic as well as a product called kefir (much like yogurt). Kefir is used primarily in european countries but I believe you can find it at whole foods or trader joe's or markets like those. Just check around. But yogurt and kefir are your best options. You should probably have your husband do it as well. And I know you wanted to cut out dairy products but yogurt/ kefir is definitely not the same as drinking pasteurized milk and eating pasteurized cheese. The cultures/ enzymes in these products feed the body in the proper way. Mind you, few mainstream doctors believe this is necessary. But this is only used to help the body bring itself back into balance.
The reaction that you and your friend experienced during the cleanse is more than likely a normal occurrence. Usually when you cleanse, you are allowing toxins to remove themselves and sometimes you experience old symptoms or the toxins get stuck and cause you to become ill. Cleanses can be tricky. I have definitely wandered onto the side of error more than once.
And while I may seem a bit creepy (fava beans or chianti, anyone?) that I would be so concerned with your cleansing, I only try to spread whatever knowledge I have been afforded. Just take it into consideration. It's a small addition to your already changing diet. Good luck with your new found awareness.
87. Honey said:
Even after reading both your and Carol's last entries, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the concept of the cleanse, itself, foibling your immune systems. (Then again, I am jonesing for an idyllic biochemistry or physiology course about now.) Moreover, is it sudden deprivation itself that depletes immunity, rather than the body's specific need for gluten, alcohol, meat, dairy, caffeine, or artificial something? I have enjoyed sharing in your short journey on the dietary straight and narrow. Twelve years ago, I went cold turkey off pop, soda, and soda pop. To this day, a single sip of it gives me an instantaneous painful hiccup. More than the carbonation, the high fructose corn syrup or carcinogenic artificial sweeteners became revolting to me, not just in pop but in a myriad of processed foodthings. Don't even let me go off about the partially hydrogenated oils or, lord forbid, cigarettes! I don't miss any of that.
Let's not forget that the world is a hungry place.
88. avuee.wordpress.com said:
I tried giving up Starbucks, but I can't. It's like my DOC: drug of choice.
89. Sugar said:
There's a lot to be said about cutting back on all the items listed in the cleanse, but I love that your doctor told you to knock it off. I wasn't about to get all 100% pure on the cleanse, but after you brought it up, I did reduce the Sugar and Coffee intake. I also added in some of the snacks you blogged about. And you know what? I feel pretty good. Sorry you had to suffer for the greater good of the blogosphere, but thanks for your honesty.
90. emily said:
lol. so funny. i would be sending him flowers too!
91. micha said:
something i have been wondering is if you have had any depression? especially from the coffee cut-out. i quit drinking coke when i was just out of college and i got so depressed. and then i would not drink it for ages, and then even just one bottle would send me heading for the razor blades. jokes.
92. simone said:
ethical meat. nice one. i am with you on the sweat potato too.
93. hihorosie said:
Interesting and yet not surprising to hear that from a medical doctor but you do need to do what is best for you so I'm glad to hear you're taking care of yourself. As I was reading your post I was thinking that it was probably your body detoxing - some people get horribly sick like that from detoxing. Glad to hear that the cleanse was valuable though and hope you're feeling better STAT!
94. dcfullest said:
I gave up caffeine about six months ago, in an attempt to improve my fertility. I haven't managed to get pregnant yet, but my anxiety has dropped significantly. It is shocking how much the caffeine, "fed" my anxiety. I am so glad I gave it up and doubt I will ever go back to drinking diet coke.
95. Katie said:
No milk? Seriously? I thought milk was so good for you! I can honestly say I have no idea what I would do if milk was cut out of my diet.
P.S. I laughed so hard when I read the line: "...something I don't normally do because if it were legal I'd carry around a gun and shoot people who drive and talk on their cell phones at the same time, but this was important..."
96. Shannon River said:
What about soy meat? Soy burgers taste really, really good.
I am trying to cut way down on dairy (mostly cheese) as well... Although there are other alternatives such as rice/soy/almond milk, etc.
The ethically raised meat is good. Definitely. It just breaks my heart what animals have to go through. (but it's still easy being a vegetarian! I've been one for 15 years now!)
97. Seleta said:
The reason you have been feeling miserable is because while you were cleansing, Candida Albicans were dying in your body. Candida is a bacteria that lives in harmony in your stomach along with normal body flora. But, when our diets become sugar, yeast and dairy rich, opportunistic Candida overpopulates and jumps into the bloodstream, where it causes all kinds of problems. It also causes things like sugar cravings, because it must live. Guess what feeds Candida? Sugar, yeast and alcohol. Guess what feeds cancer cells? Sugar, yeast and alcohol.
So when you began to cleanse, the Candida began to die off thus causing sheer misery for you. The WORSE YOU FEEL, THE MORE YOU'RE KILLING OFF CANDIDA. This is called die-off symptoms. Get the book, "The Yeast Connection" By William Cook, M.D. It will change your life. Warning: most Western doctors do not take Candida into consideration when treating a patient. Antibiotics and birth control pills also feed Candida. It's actually an epidemic in our culture today.
You are handling your stress better because 1) You're eating healthier and 2) the caffeine is no longer over-stimulating your adrenal glands [these are glands which rest above your kidneys and are responsible for a number of functions, one of which is releasing adrenaline when stressed]. When you stimulate the adrenal glands, you feel stressed. When the adrenal glands overwork, it can cause you to feel exhausted and edgy.
Take grapefruit seed extract and eat a low sugar, no wheat diet if you want to keep the high energy level and reduce stress. Trust me, you will see a huge difference in your thinking and your body. Great job lasting 8 days on your cleanse!
Good luck!
98. MissM said:
Best. Entry. Ever.
99. Minka said:
Hi Heather,
Not to burst your bubble. But at least in ayurveda and naturopathy, they believe that you are likely to suffer from congestion and even skin breakout during cleanses because the body is draining toxins out faster than usual. You should probably check with some certified person. I know because I had a strange skin condition and congestion when I started naturopathy and I was told it's normal. My two cents !
100. Sammyhill Hagar said:
You and my mother need to meet. You are exactly the same. I love you both for the hilarity you make life out to be.
Enjoy those diarrhea bombs coming back to real food. It's a bitch.
101. Bette said:
Wait a second--your doctor told you that you eating fresh, non-processed food and not having alcohol, sugar, caffeine, meat, dairy or wheat for a total of one week was BAD for you? Um, did he also mention the fact that when one person in a household gets sick, the other people who live in that household--and breathe the same air and, thus, the same germs--tend to get sick as well? Alcohol, meat, sugar, or not?
I know that it is pretty much verbotin here come across like I am not agreeing 100% with what you have to say--your fans are dedicated ones, always armed with their stones and flaming torches--but I think that your doctor is pretty short-sighted. I think it is great that you decided to end the cleanse when you wanted to, but your doctor telling someone that not eating processed foods, alcohol, and sugar is making her ill? That is crazy. If you weren't eating FOOD, that would be different. If you weren't getting any nutrients, that would be different. But you were eating complete meals with protein, carbohydrates, fresh vegetables, and real, actual food in them. And you were only going to do it for 21 days. Eight days with no booze or caffeine or meat gave you a sinus infection? Are you kidding me?
Again, I think it's great that you made a decision to end the cleanse when you wanted to. Nobody should feel horribly deprived or ill at ease with the way his or her life is being lived. However, for your doctor to tell you that eating real, healthy food is making you sick and is BAD for you? I am sorry, but that is just wrong. And I'm a big fan of booze and coffee. But I am also a fan of seeing informed doctors who are not conservative, closed-minded fools. And any doctor who tells someone to stop eating real, complete, healthy food is a fool.
102. omar said:
i would like to be able to give up meat, at least for periods of time, but with the little options i have as a student (being busy all day and eating on campus food at the school with the worst food) meat is the only thing that keeps me going. i have tried cutting back in other unhealthy food though.
103. Anonymous said:
Don't want to criticize the good (eat your hob nobs doctor), but as a regular blog reader, I gotta ask, Don't you get sinus infections a lot, diet notwithstanding?
104. Anonymous said:
Heather- I am proud of you! As a health professional in the "natural" world, I ALWAYS advise my clients to build their bodies before a cleanse. If you don't, you experience what just happened to you. It is to rough on our bodies to just start dumping toxins, etc... and expect it to assimilate and not crash. Also, what will happen during such a cleanse where you have not built your body is old illnesses that have lied dormant will crop up..i.e. the sinus infection. So, your Dr. was right. You needed to stop, but continue to modify. How do you build? Doing what you are doing... changing your habits slowly with food and eliminating what you have... awesome! Also, whole food supplements (herbs- and not THOSE kind of herbs ;)) completely help. I think eating clean meats, and no artificial sweeteners, less sugar and dairy is the way to go and I see it improve lives everyday. Keep it up!
105. After School Care Guy said:
Man that sounds awful. I don't fully understand why the cleanse caused all that stuff to happen to you but it is pretty scary!
*sips mocha latte*
106. Jamie said:
Cleansings are hell. I lasted two and a half days on mine. I couldn't take the caffeine withdrawls. I needs the coffee!
107. Teresa said:
@ #97
Candida albicans is not a bacterium!
Sorry. It pisses me off when people give health advice when all they're doing is regurgitating whatever literature fuelling the pop natural health kick they're on, and don't actually know what they're talking about.
Good to hear you're taking care of you.
108. amyd said:
You are a brave woman, and as usual have proven you eventually show some intelligence. Okay, so you didn't kiss the doctor. Hence just "some" ;)
Reading your blog has had an interesting side effect in my life: whenever I'm constipated, I think of you, and of the things you've tried. So, I'm genuinely interested: how was your poop with this diet?
109. paul in kirkland said:
If you're interested, there's a really lengthy discussion on healthy eating over in the SmugMug photo forums. Yea, I know it's a weird place for that discussion, but apparently the Muggers have gone whole foodie and are loving every minute of it.
I dunno if your comment system will see that I'm adding a link, grab my ip address and follow the innnertubes to my house and fry my machine in vengeance (and if so, f you Jon :), but here goes: http://www.dgrin.com/showthread.php?t=66086
Enjoy. Lots of good stuff there.
110. naz said:
well said Bette.
111. Give Up Coffee said:
I have been trying to give up coffee for a long time now. It is harder than it seems. When you think you have got somewhere you convince yourself that one more wouldn't hurt. And then you're right back where you started.
Dr. Oz on Oprah said that coffee is good for you if you drink it without the sugar and what not. Hope he's right cos I can't see myself quitting.
112. paul in kirkland said:
Oh, I should add that the reason I even posted that comment is because of your reference to how the cleanse has helped your anxiety.
There are several comments in that forum thread from people who claim to have experienced the same thing, so I figured if there's anything I could do to make you feel better psychologically it was worth risking your frying my computer remotely...
113. Buy Watches said:
Coffee - Dr. OZ also said that cleanses are a waste of time. He said the only thing that they are good for is getting you started on a healthier diet.
Buy Watches.
114. Adria said:
I've never in my life seen a Hobknob, but now I'll be looking.
I did a similar thing for a week. I felt better than I ever have, in between feeling like crap and wanting to die.
Funny how that works.
115. sue said:
ME TOO!!!!!
I made it through the "cleanse" for 4.5 days, and the headaches were so bad that my boyfriend was threatening to hold me down and shove a ham sandwich down me. And I have a pretty healthy diet to begin with, and consider myself a tough broad with some willpower. All I know is anything that makes me feel that bad can't be good, and it was the right decision for both of us to go off it when we did. Thank jeebus for the men in our life not wanting to see us miserable, huh?
116. Shen-Shen said:
Heather, you're my hero!
117. Bodybuilding Health said:
I have done a few cleanses in my time and they always start bad but end well. The main thing is to ensure that they lead somewhere - make sure they take your diet to healthier levels.
I am proud you tried one! Let us know how the sinus infection ends.
118. The Voracious Vegan said:
Oh Dooce, I'm sorry you're not feeling well but please take a minute to reconsider your actions. A doctor tells you that by cutting out unhealthy foods, you are doing a bad thing? Excuse me? Dairy products are not only the end result of rape and torture and the direct foundation of the veal industry, but they are pure poison for humans to ingest. Do you have any idea how much pus there actually is in the American milk supply? And consumption of meat is not only the result of billions of slaughtered sentient creatures, it is also unnecessary for human health and can contribute to heart disease, high blood pressure, and a mulititude of other health problems. If a vegan diet is so unhealthy then why does the FDA, USDA, ADA and WHO, all agree that it is a perfectly suitable diet for all stages of life and can even lower our risk for all sorts of debilitating diseases, like diabetes, cancer, heart disease, etc?
Dooce, one doctor told you something at a time when you were feeling sick and crappy and vulnerable. You were changing a life time of unhealthy eating habits, of course you were going to feel out of whack. A person with any severe addiction feels awful when they are withdrawing, but no doctor would tell them to go back to the cigarrettes, booze, whatever.
Doctors are not infallible, a lot of them are idiots. Do more research, speak to more than just one person, and think about what is really, truly best for you. Just a few days ago you were brimming over with determination and hope, don't be scared of your own potential, just see where it leads you.
And let me just make one last point. There is no such thing as 'happy' or 'humane' meat, or eggs, or dairy. Whenever something is based on the exploitation and ultimate slaughter of a sentient creature it cannot, by definition, be happy or humane. For more information please visit humanemyth.org.
Good luck Dooce, I hope you feel better soon.
119. TxSuzyQ said:
Wow... I guess people have lots of opinions on diets, cleanses and just about everything else around here! Geesh!
Anyway, hope you're feeling better, Heather!
120. margalit said:
I'm not keeping track or anything, but you've had a LOT of sinus infections this year. Like way more than any human being should have to endure. And they seem to get better with a Z-pack but come back again within weeks. This is a VERY familiar pattern. It's the pattern of someone (like me) who has an infection but whose sinuses are so impacted they can't clear themselves because (and this is gross) there isn't enough of an opening to drain out all the snot. Um, yeah.
Have you had a CAT scan on your sinus cavities? You MIGHT want to talk to your doctor about that, seeing as you spend about half of your waking hours with headaches and head pain from the damn sinuses. An ENT is the doctor of choice for sinus issues. They'll look at your sinuses thru the CT scan, and if indeed your sinuses are impacted, surgery is the next step. It is HORRIBLE INVASIVE PAINFUL surgery. HORRIBLE.
But it works. It really does. I had little windows cut into my 4 front sinuses, and the sphenoid sinus cavity, the big one in the back that presses on your optic nerve and causes meningitis and blindness if not drained... yeah that one, was totally impacted. They drained it, opened it up, and since that surgery in 1994 I've had maybe 4 sinus infections.
Again HORRIBLE HORRIBLE surgery. But blindness and meningitis? Is there really a choice?
Glad you ended that cleanse. It sounded horrid.
121. K.Rogers said:
I ain't no doctor, but I can tell you that anyone who works as hard as you do, all day every day, needs a good healthy balanced diet, including fats and sugars. Calories.
Being healthy means taking care of yourself, not depriving yourself, or forcing yourself to suffer. (read: pillar monks- bad idea)
I'm glad you've decided to knock that shit off. ;)
That is all.
122. Christy said:
While there is probably a little part of you that wishes you had gone through with this, don't underestimate what you've accomplished. You learned a lot in 8 days and there is no reason you cannot slowly remove those other unwanted things from your diet...in a way that doesn't send your body into shock.
I gave up refined sugar (only for a few weeks), but now I'm not snacking on it all day like I used to. And I'm much better about reading labels and finding natural sweeteners.
I'm hoping to take more junk out of my diet eventually, but I'm nursing my daughter right now and don't want to risk anything funny until she's weaned.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience. Your writing is always a pleasure to read.
123. Birdygal said:
Reguarding your sinus infections, 2 words, Neti Pot.
I swear, I am not a healthy grain eater at all and the Neti Pot has changed my life. It is like crazy irrigation for your sinuses and it works. Since I started using one (weekly) I have not had 1 sinus infection. This also means I have not had any antibiotics or the inevitable yeast infection that follows. If my Neti Pot had a penis I would marry it, I love it that much.
124. simone cruize said:
lol. great post. first time here. i love it!
125. Andrea said:
good on you for taking a chance. and being brave enough to share it with all of us! i find solace and inspiration in-between the fookin funny bits. thanks!
126. Becka said:
I'm really curious as to the exact nature of these "toxins" that everyone says are clearing out of your body causing the sinus infection. I can't help but feel that they're somewhat apocryphal. I mean, your kidneys and liver clear out toxins from things you eat, I think, not your sinuses. They clear out toxins from things you breathe, sort of. Right? What do I know? I'm just really curious what "toxins" are in this case. I'm also curious as to exactly what about the cleanse DID cause the infection.
That said, this cleanse did exactly what it needed to do, and that's get you to think more carefully about what you put in your body, and make conscious decisions about it instead of just choosing randomly or out of habit, and I think that's awesome. I'm so sorry it made you sick, though. I hope you're feeling better now.
I thought about posting this in a comment the other day, but I don't think I did: If you're ever craving bacon but don't want to overdo the animal fats, I totally recommend getting an heirloom tomato (or anything delicious and chewy) and sprinkling olive oil and smoked salt on it. It's healthier than bacon and tastes divine. Of course, I still eat bacon anyway, but sometimes I don't want to overdo it.
This is my first time commenting here, but I've been reading for ages and I love what you're doing. You are quite awesome. Feel better!
127. Mary said:
what does Leta have to say?
128. Amber said:
it makes that you got sick...that's detox for you. ;)
in any case, those changes are huge ones and as you go on you'll feel better and better. eventually detox won't be so hard on you. your body gets used to it, it gets healthier and stronger. when i eat the "average" north american diet i get symptoms very similar to what most people get when they eat a cleanse diet because my body isn't used to all of that crap. it gets better, much much better.
congrats to you!
129. Liz said:
there is a fine line between genius and just plain fundamentalism. i love how you dance on that line sister!
130. Fran said:
i know i could never do this. but, i sure love reading about it! thanks for sharing. any photos?
131. Lisa said:
That's funny, I was considering trying the cleanse. I already don't eat meat but I didn't think I could live without dairy and sugar. Thanks for the test run. I don't feel the need to jump on any band wagon now.
132. The Horror Diet said:
Heather - I'm delighted you ventured down this less-traveled road, and have come away with some valuable insights!
And as a cleansing afficionado, I'd offer that a) the sinus infection, et al. you suffered was most likely a Herxheimer (detox) reaction, which is part of the cleansing process, and b) the degree of detox matched the severity of your cleanse.
Most people start giving up foods one at a time so they don't have to part with everything at once. That way it's easier to find out what foods work and what don't, and makes bingeing less likely.
But then we all know that British digestives and the like contain little magnets that pull us to their exact location and demand to slide down our throats. I've had it happen many times.
133. Jodie Zoeller said:
Heather, glad you went to the doctor too. Sounds like the cleanse stirred up lots of stuff. Giving up coffee is good. I wish I could give up coca-cola... I would be asleep 24x7 if I did. tried herbal teas, no dice. I don't ever want a caffeine headache again. I had one in Mexico City once when staying with locals that fed me Manzania tea (herbal).
Doctors are conservative by nature and it pays off usually... except for those radicals that do experimental treatments. My doctor is a D.O. and avoids antibiotics like the plague if possible. I have fluid in my ear and have had 3 courses of steriods. The latest was a shot today. After this fails, then he'll send me to an ENT specialist for them to poke, prod and hopefully cure my blasted ear, as I can't hear out of it much at all (right ear). I'm a left ear phoner so no problems there, but try being in MEETINGS and trying to LISTEN is hell. People talk from all sides and then there's the conference call phone talking too. I need a new right ear!
Interweb, come read my blog too! It's not as cool as Dooce, but I have POLAR BEARS and BIPOLAR info and ranting and some raving, and some fun stuff.
134. Anne said:
OK, so I'm going to be another of those opinionated commenters that knows so much better than you do... sorry. But this is one of my own private bugbears, so please bear with me.
Don't go gluten-free without talking to your doctor first. Seriously. This is as big a deal as 'wear sunscreen'. If you go gluten-free and feel worlds better, there is a good chance that you are Celiac (see, I'm even using US spelling for you). If you are Celiac, then there you need to know - being rigorously gluten-free is tough, you need the support of a dietician, and there are various other complications (e.g. osteoporosis) that need to be checked for. The complete &*&$^£& of it is that for the tests to work, you have to be eating significant amounts of gluten. So if you go gf and feel wonderful, the first thing you will be told is to start eating gluten again. Which can make you feel 1000 times worse than you did before.
And it's not rare - "they" are beginning to realise that about 1 in 133 to 1 in 100 people have it - the vast majority are wandering around undiagnosed. The symptoms are many and varied - and not always obviously gastro-related. (My son was picked up because of his bad teeth.)
Sorry, rant over. Wear sunscreen, don't go gluten-free without talking to your doctor.
135. Lozza said:
Well done.. Im proud of you for sticking with it that long.. And glad to hear it has helped you make some changes in your life!
136. MeganInMunich said:
Six months ago, my husband and I vowed to change our eating habits and get healthy. During the week no drinking, no eating out, lots of vegetables, low fat. On the weekends, from sundown Friday to sundown Sunday EVERYTHING is allowed. I've lost almost 20 pounds and he's lost 40.
But lately we've been getting depressed. Jobs suck, everything sucks, Tuesday night we almost cried in each others arms (and we're not that kind of couple).
Solution: break the fucking rules. A glass of wine and an ice cream sundae later and the world is shining brightly again.
Food has an amazing effect on your well-being.
137. Deanna McNeil said:
I am so sorry you have been sick. I have noticed when I have done big things to my diet, like stick to food that looks the way it did when it came out of the ground, is still a color found in nature and the like that I feel differently and not always "bright & shiny" and wondered why. And I too have discovered the joy of limiting myself to one or two cups of coffee in a day. It is such a personal journey to wellness...I wish I understood all the things I am convinced my body must be telling me that I don't know how to interpret. You would think the splitting headaches could at least come with captioning instead of just stars when you close your eyes?!
I live in the Washington DC area. I wonder how hard it would be to find ethical meat? And can I afford it? Why should it be hard & expensive to eat ethically? See, sometimes it doesn't take 4 hours for the comments to turn into crazy talk!
Rock on Heather and get well soon.
138. Anonymous said:
I'm wondering why some people are assuming that because your doctor told you that he was opposed to your cleanse, that automatically means that he also told you that eating healthy is bad and that you should reintroduce junk food into your diet immediately. My guess is that your doctor was opposed to the sudden shock of deprivation and withdrawl of the cleanse, not the healthy food itself, and advocated that you make those dietary changes moderately and over time.
People. They so crazy. [chomps into cheeseburger]
139. KC said:
@118 - yikes, settle down and breathe... it'll all be ok in the morning!
140. Briony said:
I get sick within a week, every time I try to change my diet. Insanely annoying when I'm trying to be *healthier*.
Oh, and Hobnobs are the food of the gods - we go through about a pack a week per person in my office. They contain oats and fibre, and therefore are nutritious and healthy food. So there.
141. anais said:
Coffee is definitely my drug of choice. Can´t imagine going without it for a day. So way to go on sticking to that diet for that long. That takes some will power!
142. Kathy said:
I don't always have the greatest confidence in medical professionals, but I kind of agree with what the doctor said, though it makes sense if you stop caffeine and sugar cold turkey, even if for a short while, you'll feel like crap.
And I am so not one to judge, believe me. I simply do not function without a cup of coffee, but I've had periods where I've given it up, and I felt awful the first week.
143. infi9ite said:
Reading about your cleanse experience has been extremely interesting for me, and I'm glad you've been so upfront about your positive and negative experiences while on it. About two months ago, I decided to change my eating habits, and became, for lack of a descriptive term that doesn't sound as self-righteous as "flexitarian," a "fake vegetarian." I allow myself 1-2 servings of meat a week, but the rest of the time, it's veggies and fish and beans and cheese and soy products. It's forced me to be really creative with how I eat, while eliminating crappy foods I used to eat all the time (like processed lunch meat), without being too drastic.
Somehow the thought that I CAN have the occasional bite of meat makes it easier to live as a vegetarian (well, technically pesecatarian) 90% of the time, and I'm not bored with my meals when I'm learning to make falafel patties or bean salads. So long as my diet is not tied to moral positions (I obviously don't believe it's morally wrong to eat meat, but I do believe in eating less of it), I don't feel the need to be absolutist.
144. Spandrel Studios said:
With all the talk of these cleanses, I've wondered how healthy it could possibly be to make such drastic changes all at once - although I applaud anyone who can do it. But whatever happened to "everything in moderation"? I know that's a boring concept, but even just Weight Watchers has helped me be conscious of the amount of fruits and vegs I eat - and at the same time get a handle on portions. That was a huge breakthrough that had a tremendous impact on my health. (I ignore all their suggestions for sugar-free this and Lite that because the chemicals wreak havoc for me.)
Anyway, I hope you're feeling better!
145. StotheL said:
Rock on, Heather!
146. chocolatechic said:
I am so sorry you became ill, but whatever works for you is great.
My mother has done cleanses before. I just don't have the will power to do it. I like my chocolate way to much, I like my beef way to much, and most of all, I like to stay unsick.
Kudos to you.
147. Jennifer said:
I did a Curves approved diet once. It was a low carb, no sugar, no alcohol kind of thing. I didn't get sick, but my emotions made PMS look like a walk in the park. My husband was BEGGING me to stop doing it and eat like a normal person again. It was awful, so I totally understand how you felt. I sincerely hope you feel better soon cos feeling like you did sucks.
148. Queen of the Universe said:
Thanks for sharing...I was gonna do a different cleanse but fuck that. Geeze, life is hard enough.
Man, if you figure out how to make that $100 bill thing work, will you post that too?
Hehehe
149. Adele said:
DOOCE! You got sick because your body was going through a "Healing Crisis". Which is a GOOD thing. YOur body will get very sick before it gets better. Talk to a Naturopath, or a Holistic Nutritionist. A firend of mine, Laurie, has a great web site you should check out. http://www.designingyourhealth.ca/body_talk.php
I do a yeast/candida cleanse every year during the transition from winter to spring (get out all that crap I ate), and I get bronchitis every time! Green slime and goo, the works! But I pull through and benfit from the cleanse for the rest of the year.
I also suffer from anxiety, and find that the 30-day cleanse of no caffenine, sugar, yeast, wheat, dairy etc. makes WORLDS of difference.
I still applaude you for trying, just TRY AGAIN!
150. Amy said:
Baked sweet potatoes with maple syrup. You'll never want anything else for breakfast ever again- trust me. As for any meat-related exclamation point laden comments, pay them no mind. If eating meat makes you feel better physically, then by all means have at it. I'm sorry that you're cleanse was not entirely pleasant, but at least it succeeded in making you think more about the food you eat and how it makes you feel. And thank God for hobnobs, right?
151. Smurf (all the way from Scotland!) said:
Good on you for trying something new, for trying to make a difference to the way you feel.
But you just have to do what feels right for YOU (in body and in mind) and not what suits other people.
I'm vegetarian, still eat a few bits of dairy produce, but no meat or fish, or other animal products. I have a latte or cappucino in the morning, and that's it on the whole. But I don't limit myself if I feel like having more. I just try to do what feels the best for ME.
So, no comments from me on whether you're doing wrong or right! Well... maybe just one... ;-) The only thing is... you said somewhere else in your blog that you drank lots of coffee and diet coke every day... You put TONS of caffeine in your body (a stimulant), now you've cut it out and you wonder why you don't feel anxious any more? There's your answer... ;-)
152. Janssen said:
Oh Hobnobs. What I wouldn't do for one of those right now. . . .
153. Jennifer said:
The Omnivore's Dilemma. Read it. The information is so good and feels sort of like a cleanse (without, you know, the pain) because I look at food in a completely different way. I've always been very aware but this breaks down what's going on with organics and what we really need to nourish us.
154. Laurel said:
Glad to hear that you are listening to your body. Drastic change (like this cleanse) aren't always the best ways to go about making healthy choices.
As far as what you noticed about the cleanse and the changes in your anxiety levels - I totally hear ya! I have been diagnosed with depression and insulin resistance. I know that when I keep on track with healthy eating (meaning cutting out the refined sugary junk), my mood is much more level throughout the day. It's amazing what even the slightest shift in blood sugar chemistry can do to your mood and attitude.
Keep up the honesty - it's what keeps me coming back.
155. Amy said:
Re. Comment #97 and the recommendation that you take grapefruit seed extract for increased energy and reduced stress:
Grapefruit can inhibit the enzymes that help the body to process some medications, including some anti-depressants. (In particular, Zoloft is mentioned again and again in the literature, as are, interestingly, Methadone and Viagra.) There is an increased risk for side effects. You'd probably want to check with your doctor before you consider taking this, (or any), supplement.
Here's some basic info from the reliable Mayo Clinic:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/food-and-nutrition/AN00413
156. Jill said:
Since you mentioned pasta sauce, the best pasta sauce EVER is Rao's marinara sauce (pardon the hyperbole but this stuff is really incredible). Since you visited NY recently you'll feel like you're right back there again. Rao's Restaurant in Harlem only has 8 tables and is always booked by those with... well, CONNECTIONS - but you can buy their sauce in your local supermarket or even online! The