Forgive me
In sickness and in health, through the irrational demands of a wife who regularly struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder: the Armstrong marriage survived another home improvement project.
Maybe because he's been taking Prozac, or maybe it's because of all that HOT HOT SEX, but when I told Jon what I wanted the wall to look like, he said something like, why aim for perfection when approximation is so much easier? Which is the most romantic thing that has ever come out of his mouth, so I pushed him down on the floor and ripped off all his clothes.
We could have bought all sorts of different tools and spent hours making templates to make sure that everything lined up perfectly, but instead he held up one mirror while I stood back ten feet. And then he moved it up and down per my estimation. From there we eyed everything else armed only with a laser level, a pencil, and one sturdy hammer. And so what if one or two frames are a few centimeters out of alignment? WAIT, DID I ACTUALLY JUST WRITE THAT? Is this what therapy does to you? Turns you into a person who can walk by a crooked frame without reaching out to correct it? Why not just save a little money and smoke pot every morning?
We were originally going to print out six photos, but I realized that I had a whole bunch of illustration prints tucked away just waiting to be placed in permanent homes, so we hung the prints instead. Potential problem: we had already hammered nails into the wall to hang the frames horizontally, and three of the prints that I wanted to hang were intended to hang vertically. Solution: pretend not to notice. So three of the prints on the wall are hanging THE WRONG WAY. And I'm not kidding, just now when I wrote that my left nostril flared to the size of a grapefruit.
Is it just me, or is this post starting to feel like a painful, awkward confessional? Internet, I once cheated on a high school science test. In college I let a boy touch my boobs. Two years ago I stole salt and pepper shakers off a table at a fancy restaurant. And I have only repented for two of those things. The third thing was so much fun that it didn't feel right to say I was sorry.
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FM Living
Sandra said:
At least Jon didn't hang the pictures a foot below the ceiling, which is where all of my Chinese relatives like to hang art.
03.31.08 - 11:58 AM / 1Dawn said:
looks perfect to me!!!
03.31.08 - 11:59 AM / 2Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn said:
It looks great!
(And I hope that it was the boob-feeling that "was so much fun". Because, if it was cheating on a science test... I would wonder.)
03.31.08 - 12:00 PM / 3megan said:
I love that you have so many aesthetically-pleasing framed prints/paintings/reflecting surfaces on your walls! Really puts the HUGE BLANK WALL in the kitchen/living room of my apartment to shame.
03.31.08 - 12:02 PM / 4Karrie said:
Beautiful :) I'm glad I'm not the only psycho who likes straight things. And that can flare their nostrils when irritated.
The wall looks great.
03.31.08 - 12:02 PM / 5abigail said:
you are my favorite.
03.31.08 - 12:02 PM / 6Melly said:
Dooce.com has been this last week's distraction for me. Starting from day one, it's been such an intriguing read, sometimes in a "feels so right but has to be wrong" kind of way.
It just keeps getting better.
03.31.08 - 12:04 PM / 7Clara said:
Congratulations with this! I spent last Sunday just trying to hang 2 pictures, one of top of the other...I had never done this before, and just all the leveling and measuring and not hammering nails in straight ... I was going mad o.0
03.31.08 - 12:05 PM / 8shaunacon said:
Love it! I may just be making a tip to Ikea to pick up some of those mirrors.
Glad to hear you are making progress with the OCD thing. Trust me - I know it can be hard to overcome.
I must confess I have too stolen salt and pepper shakers from a restaurant. I just couldn't find any I liked at the store and they were just sitting on the table begging me to take them.
03.31.08 - 12:05 PM / 9Jill S. said:
It used to be, my husband wouldn't let a single nail mar the walls he built with his own hand. Then we had children and they colored on the walls and said Batman did it, and he loosened up.
03.31.08 - 12:05 PM / 10lomagirl said:
What was the fun thing? Oh! That. Yeah. I should have guessed.
Your wall looks fine. All of the previous perfection attempts must have made you good eyeballers.
03.31.08 - 12:05 PM / 11scargosun said:
Love the design! The mirrors add great dimension. We did something similar with pics and started the smae way you did. Put the first one up and laser the rest. I am still overwhelmed by the patience of my husband at that time.
03.31.08 - 12:06 PM / 12Deb (Missives from Suburbia) said:
Wait... my OCD forces me to hang things immediately and overrides my compulsion to have them hanging perfectly. Maybe you can train your OCD to do the same thing?
03.31.08 - 12:07 PM / 13Jill said:
But look how much closer the whole installment is to the right side of the wall? Ya couldn't have at least centered it?
*wink*
03.31.08 - 12:08 PM / 14theSpectrum said:
As a fellow OCD victim, your post made me hyperventilate until I passed out at work for 20 minutes. HANGING THE WRONG WAY!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can you warn me next time you're going to type something so scandalous!?
03.31.08 - 12:09 PM / 15little brother said:
Is it just me or is the mirror in the upper right just a little higher than the one on the left...
;)
03.31.08 - 12:09 PM / 16Keri said:
Looks good!
I bet you know exactly which ones are off by just millimeters and by how many, right? ;P
03.31.08 - 12:10 PM / 17robinv said:
"why aim for perfection when approximation is so much easier?" That is my personal lifetime motto! I just wish I could get my husband to buy it!
03.31.08 - 12:10 PM / 18SarahThe said:
With those fabulous prints, I'm not sure order or symmetry matters.
03.31.08 - 12:11 PM / 19Workman said:
I've got to agree with Dawn and others. I can't see anything wrong with how they're hung.
Perhaps I've got the opposite of OCD. What would that be? Slob's Disorder?
03.31.08 - 12:11 PM / 20Toni said:
I love it. Your guys did a GREAT JOB!
03.31.08 - 12:11 PM / 21Cici said:
Victory!
03.31.08 - 12:11 PM / 22val cox said:
It looks great, I love the simplicity.
You have more restraint than I, as I could not go the second day without repositioning that lower right mirror up and the the left about a 1/4"!
03.31.08 - 12:12 PM / 23Erika said:
My husband always says it's easier to ask forgiveness that to get permission. I guess it makes it a little more difficult if you're not actually sorry, but I'm sure we can still work with it.
03.31.08 - 12:15 PM / 24J. said:
Forgive ME, but more about the ripping off of the clothes, please!!
03.31.08 - 12:15 PM / 25Kayla said:
You are hilarious! Hearing that Jon is taking Prozac reminds me of when my Mom called me to tell me she started sneaking Prozac in my Dad's orange juice and, "He's so much perkier."
Oy! Tell Jon, "Real Men Take Prozac."
Kay
03.31.08 - 12:16 PM / 26Julie said:
My OCD keeps me from hanging stuff up in the first place. Or maybe it is my ADD. I can't remember.
03.31.08 - 12:17 PM / 27koz said:
Progress, gorgeous progress.
03.31.08 - 12:18 PM / 28angelawd said:
It looks great, but I would always know things were out of alignment or hung the wrong way, and I would never be at peace. I don't know how you do it.
03.31.08 - 12:19 PM / 29Heather said:
It looks awesome. I love the layout. At least you didn't end up with 14 useless holes in the wall... (thank you mother-in-law)
03.31.08 - 12:22 PM / 30