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Pay attention, this one's complicated

dooce — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:08:34 -0600

Several months ago when we had Coco fixed the vet sent us home with a packet of information that included a giant red piece of paper covered in a warning about how important it was to make sure that the dog did not lick her own wound. They even gave us a tiny plastic cone to put around her neck just in case she fixated on it, and on the drive home Jon wondered out loud, "They didn't say anything about whether or not it was okay for anyone else to lick her wound."

"By anyone else, do you mean Chuck?" I asked hopefully.

"By anyone I mean anyone. What are they implying by the absence of that stipulation?"

"They are implying that they trust you have two brain cells to rub together."

It was around this time that I brought up the subject of edamame on this website, and many readers suggested that we put together an instructional video on how we cook and eat them. And we shot some footage that night, we certainly did, but other things have occupied our attention since then — SILHOUETTE OF MICHAEL PHELPS' ABDOMEN, BREAST STROKE, BREAST STROKE, BREAST STROKE — and Jon was all, this is entirely unfair, it's not like Kate Walsh got dressed up in a tiny bikini and gyrated her perfectly toned body through a pool every night for a week, ON INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION, and he drew up a letter to the Universe and called it several names that I don't think Harvey Keitel would agree to say out loud in a movie.

So while I was watching every single minute of the swimming portion of the Olympics Jon edited all the footage together and we finally have ourselves a video. He wants you to note a few things before viewing, however:

1. His hair is post nap.

2. His hair and Coco’s hair: matching.

3. My pronunciation of “Jon” is something he hears about 30 times an hour, thus he has developed selective hearing. I call it willfully ignoring me.

4. Leta had a very minor meltdown involving the snap-out portion of her princess magnets; not the magnets themselves, the snap-out holder thingy which he mended with tape. During editing he cut out the footage of us both standing over the pot of boiling water wondering aloud whether or not the sound of our daughter wailing in the other room is what people would refer to as neglect.

5. Behold: mind-blowing special effects. If you blink you'll miss the part where I run screaming from the house because his hair looks like this.

by dooce in Daily

Baaaa.

dooce — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:33:47 -0600

If you're thinking, "Um, that sheep isn't taking Coco very seriously," you'd be entirely correct because two seconds later Coco had its back leg in her mouth, and the look on the sheep's face was OMG, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CATCH ON THIS QUICKLY.

by dooce in Daily Chuck

Lucy

dooce — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:25:39 -0600

This is Coco's mother. And, wow, does her temperament explain a few things. Coco has all of her mother's personality: totally sassy, overprotective, anxious. When Lucy saw Coco this weekend it was like, shit kid. I thought I sent you away months ago, and no, I do not have any money, if you even think about asking I'll call the cops and have you removed. Meaning she was AWESOME.

by dooce in Daily Photo

Please be patient with me

dooce — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 11:17:06 -0600

Another busy week here at the Blurbodoocery involving doctors appointments, travel, vet visits, and a multitude of concerts. Tonight we're attending the sold out Wilco concert where the Fleet Foxes will be opening, and it's at my favorite outdoor venue in the city. If you're not familiar with either band, here's an introduction to the Fleet Foxes:

And here's Jeff Tweedy from Wilco playing an acoustic version of the soundtrack to my marriage to Jon:

This weekend we're headed to San Francisco to the Outside Lands Festival, a three-day music event at Golden Gate Park (look at that lineup and be very jealous of me). While I'm there I'll be posting photos and whatnot here and at the community site Crowdfire where they are giving away free tickets to the festival every day. Friday night I will get to see Radiohead for the tenth time, and maybe I will finally get up the nerve up to throw my panties at guitarist Ed O'Brien who happens to be number two on my Five Fame Fuckers list.

Interestingly, recent international events have brought to my attention a certain special someone who has so stolen my heart that he has knocked off two of the previous men on my list and now occupies both of those positions. So my list now looks like this:

1. Chris Martin
2. Ed O'Brien
3. Brad Pitt
4. Michael Phelps
5. Michael Phelps

I brought up this development the other night with a group of friends, and the men in the group were all, BUT HIS EARS! AND THAT UNDERBITE! Which of course was exactly how I expected them to respond, all of their lists are comprised entirely of supermodels. I think his ears are adorable, and that mouth of his is interesting, but the list really has very little to do with appearance and everything to do with the overall package. Are they driven? Do they care about people? What is their take on certain issues? Are they bigger than I am? Do they know their multiplication tables? Also, good hair helps. And yes, I will be honest and say that the way Michael Phelps fits into a wetsuit is very pleasing to look upon with my eyes.

Don't worry, Jon has his own list, and if we were at a concert where Renee Russo was playing the guitar, I would take off Jon's briefs and throw them at her head for him. That was written into our vows.

Your list?

by dooce in Daily

Handmade girls twirl skirt

dooce — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:43:27 -0600

Leta has been showing much more interest in wearing skirts lately, not just dresses, although they still comprise ninety percent of her wardrobe. So I did a quick search on Etsy to see if I could find anything, and DID I EVER. I found this adorable skirt from a shop called Lillifee Boutique. I love it because there are no buttons or zippers to fiddle with, so she can get herself dressed easily. Plus, those fabrics match just about every shirt in her closet. This is the third day in a row she's worn it, and if I would let her she would sleep in it. But I have to draw the line somewhere, and that line is, no, take off that skirt and get back into the straight jacket, Leta.

by dooce in Daily Style

Herding lessons

dooce — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:29:41 -0600

There's a much bigger story to tell here, and I will very soon get to that, but look at my dog doing what she was born to do. It was seriously the most spectacular thing to behold in person.

by dooce in Daily Chuck

Willie, aka Papa Puffs

dooce — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:25:47 -0600

This is Coco's father. Maybe it's because we have no idea what or how many kinds of breeds are in Chuck's DNA, or where exactly he was born and in what sort of conditions, but getting to hang out with Coco's parents is almost surreal. Willie hadn't seen Coco since we adopted her in January, and he didn't show too much interest, but it's clear she did not inherit the color of his coat or his very chill personality.

by dooce in Daily Photo

Pull a chair up with the hyrup

dooce — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:37:23 -0600

The Olympics is slowly killing both Jon and me by pushing us three and four hours past our normal bedtime. We've been trying to keep up with all the excitement, and two nights ago I finally had to call it quits at one in the morning and hit the sheets. I remember thinking as I checked the clock, oh God, please Leta, sleep in until at least 7:30, do it for Michael Phelps. She answered that prayer by screaming out at 5:00 AM and then refusing to go back to sleep. I brought her back into bed with us and for two hours she asked, CAN I HAVE A PANCAKE NOW? HOW ABOUT NOW? I WANT A PANCAKE. MY OWN PANCAKE. PANCAKE. PANCAKE. PANCAKE. I won't lie, I did have the sudden urge to punch Jon in the gut at about 6:30 and go THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. In fact, two days later, I'm still fighting that urge.

I couldn't sleep through the PANCAKE monologue, so I finally took her upstairs at about 7:00 to eat breakfast. Jon was wiped out, had been working on about six different projects, so I let him sleep despite the fact that THIS WAS ALL HIS FAULT. And then when we got upstairs I realized, oops, I don't know how to make pancakes. Sure, I could read the directions on the box, but on four hours of sleep I couldn't see straight. And was in no state to operate a piece of machinery whose main component is fire.

So I suggested that we eat some cereal together. And she protested a tiny bit until I explained very clearly that her daddy is the pancake parent and me? I'm the ~~cop out~~ cereal parent. Pancakes taste better when made by daddy, and cereal poured into a bowl by anyone other than me will just not taste as glorious. Also, I'm tired, be quiet, be glad you have food to eat, if you want I can give you the speech my dad used to give me about starving children in Africa, I haven't yet uttered that sentence to you, and it would give me great pleasure this morning to cross off that rite of passage.

So we had cereal. And some casual conversation (note, she is watching herself in the viewfinder the entire time):

Also, thanks to several kind readers who sent me the link, I think I now know how to make pancakes because of the following amazing video. Be prepared for the most sensational three minutes and forty-six seconds of your life, I promise you it is worth the investment of your time. Someone get this kid a recording contract STAT:

by dooce in Nubbin

Organic color-block shower curtain

dooce — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:36:30 -0600

I've been looking for a good-looking, simple shower curtain for weeks when I finally realized that the one we've got hanging over the bathtub is about three years old. And embarrassingly gross. Opened up a recent West Elm catalog and found exactly what I was looking for in this organic cotton number, and bought this specific color combination because it matches the tiles the previous owners used when they remodeled the bathroom. This is officially Jon's bathroom, I use the much smaller one downstairs that has a tiny stand-up shower with a rickety door as my own, so here I've gone and made myself jealous that he has a new shower curtain. He better be damn happy.

by dooce in Daily Style

Duet

dooce — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:19:22 -0600

Seen here guarding what is left of his rawhide bone. Coco has begged for it all morning, and by begged I mean cried and yelped her fuzzy head off. It's mornings like this one where the soundtrack in our house is this crazed dog screaming nonsense, and in the background you hear Chuck providing the beat going, GRRR... GRRR... GRRR... GRRR.

by dooce in Daily Chuck