Isn't being barefoot better than wearing clogs?

You KNOW someone had to ask the question....

Though I fell in love the moment I heard the first few notes of "Hit Me Baby One More Time", my love was cemented when I saw the MTV awards. Remember the body. Remember the sequin skin outfit.

I'm about seven years older than Britney but in that moment I wanted to be her.

Now it makes me sad. Now SHE makes me sad.

How the mighty have fallen.

Although, she did look cute in those recent beach shots with the baby. Pregnant bikini belly and all.

She's still in there and I think so many of us pray she returns to us soon.

Every part of Britney's life, warts and all, is fodder for public scorn. It makes me feel sad for her, and glad that the only proof that is left of my 20s is some photographs and the memories of my friends...who thankfully ain't talkin'.

I'm MUCH older than Britney. My take is that she has been SOOO controlled and marketed (she was a Mouseketeer before she was Britney) that when she become a MOM, she decided she wanted to be in control of herself. It's all in your face for a reason. Never having had to make a decision of her own now she's exerting the right to do so. I got to make my mistakes in private, she gets to make hers in front of the world.

Poor kid. And I don't me Sean P.

I am not a Britney fan. Just not into her. I do feel however, she's made some stupid mistakes. I don't necessarily think she's a bad mom, but she HAS made some bad choices, and because of popularity it gets broadcast everywhere, and she gets ripped apart by it. She needs proper staff that should keep her out of trouble like she's been in, and then people won't judge her so harshly. Except for saying she needs to take care of herself without others telling her what to do, etc., etc. Catch 22, ya know. Oh well. Great piece Dooce.

Heather, you're a Southerner. I'm a Southerner. You know darn well that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl. In her early career, she had handlers to tell her when her roots were showing, or when she should spit out her gum. Now that she has some success under her belt, she's also getting some freedom - and woe to us. It's only a matter of time before she's twirling double-fire batons.

I understand that she's expressing herself right now, trying to take control. But seriously, a brush and a bra is not asking too much.

By the way Britney fans, seen the cover of the August issue of Harper's Bazaar? It looks like the Pregnant Demi Moore Vanity Fair cover gone REALLY bad!

Radio Disney came into my life (with my kids) at that time too- so avoiding Britney was pretty impossible. I sort of fell in love with a cartoon, as I am apt to do, and now I watch her and think I've never seen a person so full of the potential for human failing in my life..but it mostly makes me want to be nice to her-to invite her over for coffee and tell her how much her baby seems to love her.

Pioneer Woman: I love the idea of appearance exhaustion.

I'm not a mom-I just watch from the sidelines as my family and friends have raised their babies. I think Britney has made some mistakes and because she is in the public eye she get thoroughly routed for them. That being said, I do think the girl needs to get a better team of publicists around her and get rid of federline.

Amen, let's here it for Nutbush! Rock on Mremphris....

Like Windy said- she's country, she's proud. I wouldn't be surprised to find K-Fed's room decked out in confed flags and camo, personally. Bet Brit's got at least one pair of dark brown gauchos that she wears with her orange Bass Pro Shop tshirt.

I'm glad she isn't conforming to the smoke and mirrors, glitter and gold Hollywood Stepford Wives role.

I'd rather have someone real (heck at least she waited til marriage til she got knocked up, does anybody give her credit for that?!) out there, trying to raise up a family, than some fake publicity shot junk.

All I'm saying is...wish she'd stuck with Justin. K-Fed's a little too hard for my taste.

I have to say, I was actually impressed when Britney started showing signs of being an actual human being instead of this perfectly-polished pop star princess (wow, too many P's there). Smoking, drinking, partying...I was like "Go Britney! You represent, girl!" And when she became pregnant and subsequently a mother, I adored her barefootedness and lumpy belly and jiggly upper arms...made her more tangible in terms of being a regular person like the rest of us.

The only things I take umbrage to are her questionable parenting skills and her skanky husband who to this day confuses me completely with his brand of Ick. Tamara lee said it best with her stoner description above, and I can only amend it with a big WTF? to the guy's recording career...and I use the word career very loosely here. I think one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time is the video of him showing off one of his tunes in the studio...he was so damn pleased with himself and all I could think was "Oh dear god, there goes our landfills."

I think it is very complicated. I am not a fan of Britney's but I also know that I would not like my parenting to be scrutinized the way hers has been and will continue to be. I've always found her a bit irritating but, now, I just feel bad for her. Being a parent is hard enough without being married to someone who calls himself K-fed.

You know, if you're in the public eye, are famous and know that the paparazzi document your every move...surely it can't be that hard to just not do dumb stuff.

Being famous is sort of like having a job...if your boss is standing over you then you gotta be on your best behaviour...Brittney the paparazzi is your boss...how hard can it be to remember to keep yourself nice?

Plus...how many days after Sean Preston's birth did she conceive spawn #2?

I'm just grateful I'm not the only one making mistakes!

I've always been a huge Britney fan. Until she hooked up with Cletus--he has brought her down so low.

I agree with Heather's Alpha Mom article. Those first few months of motherhood are pure hell. You're so scared--of everything. Even those of us who spent so much time wanting and planning a baby were turned upside down once that little bundle arrived.

Part of me feels so bad for her but another part says, "Wake up! What the hell are you doing? You're a beautiful, wealthy girl who can do anything you want. Why are you married to a scum bag and having not one, but TWO of his children? I think she's stuck right now. I just hope she finds the strength to regain herself and become the amazing girl/woman she once was.

Ok, now I'm kinda irked here....

If you travel all over (the country, the world), or read news from all over, surely you can pick up on one simple fact: fashion styles are very different in different areas.

Hence, NY'ers? soooo business like. Everybody in grey and black. LA'ers? Pricks. Stuck up, fashion worshippers. Down South? Think Dolly Parton, upp'd a notch. Big boobs, bra strap/g string showing, a little dirty, a little real.

We got a saying ya know: God made dirt, dirt don't hurt.

Stop knockin on our life and we'll keep our grubby little paws outta yours. Men down here want girls that aren't afraid to hop on the back of a 4 wheeler and tear it up, or maybe take their own and get covered in mud.

They want a girl who can shoot pool, open a beer bottle with her teeth, who can b*tch slap any heifer that gets outta line with her man at Hooters.

Different world people. Its a different world.

Brit's the idol of most of the teen girls down south. She's living the life.

She needs to come on back- we'll take care of those nasty paparrazi for her. A 22 up their *ss oughtta fix that.

Are we for real? Did noneya ever "drive" your dad's pickup before you were old enough to see over it without standing in Dad's lap?

Dang. Those are some of the best memories I have- of that and of my little bro doing the same thing. We still laugh about it. Brit's right, that's just what we do down here. I've never heard of anybody dying from it either- no random "baby kills 19" news stories, and I'm sure it'd make the news.

Ya'll need to lighten up, maybe try relaxing and such. Less stress, less worry, more pleasure.

But I'm guessing this is the same group that's never fired a gun, much less in kindergarten hee hee ya'll poor little ole thangs....

ME, you are hilarious, and you do have a point. I'm not from the South. At least we agree, Kevin isnt good for her.

Since I spent the first five months after my son was born walking around topless (it was just too damn much trouble to deal with that nursing bra and a shirt), I'm giving her props for wearing a bra at all.

Wow.

You know, until I read that piece, I too was mostly just confused as to why Britney did those things. Not being a mother, it didn't even occur to me that it could be that... just that. Maybe she is simply trying to live her life without constantly thinking about the tabloids and what people think. It must add a completely different dimension of difficult to her life.

34, Me, yes I drove on my dad's lap...not when I was a baby, though. And not on a freeway. It was always on back roads where there was no other traffic. I was disappointed when I saw those photos, but it doesn't make her a bad person. What bugs me most about it is she tells different stories about why that happened. She should just pick one and go with it so people don't rip on her even more.

Thanks for saying pretty much everything I was thinking about Britney, but perhaps a little afraid to admit it. She's human, right? I'd like to think that she's doing the best she can as a mother, just like the rest of us.

The thing is, I like Britney better for her shocking ability to lay herself out there to be judged human. It's almost like part of that thing where she played the naughty innocent, when she was really too young to be as bad as her costumes implied. Who wants to watch another super-polished star? Britney is an original.

Jlemm, excellent comment. i'm so glad there isn't a photograph of the time Leta fell off the end of our bed onto her head because I was off using the bathroom by myself for the first time in two months.

I think some of you have missed my point ENTIRELY about just how judgmental mothers are of other mothers.

The only thing I disagree with you on is your defending her driving with Sean P. in her lap. That is NOT OK. That is not just an inexperienced, young mom mistake. I'm sorry, but she should know better. No matter how "country" she is.

I believe that with our intense hunger for details of celebrities lifes, we've created a generation of stars who are motivated by staying at the forefront of our interest. So in Britney's attempt at the uber-white-trash-mommie look, she created an spectacle of herself that we were compelled to watch. Out of sight, out of mind. The question is: Is she so smart as to sacrifice her dignity to stay in the limelight or is she that desperate?

Thank-you! Thank-you! Thank-you!

I also am a Britney fan. I am so sick of everyone chastising her and calling her a bad mom, especially other mothers. Anyone who is a mom knows how hard those first several months, especially when it's your first child. You don't sleep, eat right or have time to do anything that may resemble taking care of your personal needs. You are consumed with taking care of this small, helpless wonder that you made. Children do not come with manuals, even for the rich and famous. All we can do, as mothers, is do our best, give all our love and keep our fingers crossed that they don't need to much therapy as adults. Britney may not always make the wisest decisions, but I do believe she's doing her best (considering she has a loser for a husband), is a good mom and more than anything else, loves her child very much.

Personally, i just can't wait till she drops K-fed, gets a makeover, creates another pop album that sells millions and confesses all with Barbara Walters. Not to mention the 5 page Vanity Fair spread and E True Hollywood Story. You all know it's right around the corner. This phase is just a bump in the road.

I actuslly wrote a piece on my own blog about the interview our little Brit-Brit did with Matt Lauer. It was like watching a horrible train wreck, but you can't look away. The saddest part (for me) was the retrospective shots the program did when she was younger. The difference was startling.

I think the reason that we, "ordinary," people judge her so harshly is because we assume that she does have handlers, nannies, publicists and stylists to keep her from making the same mistakes that we do every day. You are absolutely right that almost all mothers have looked the way she does lately, stumbled while holding the baby, and made shocking misuse of air quotes.

However, the thing that I cannot let her skate with is staying with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named when she found out two months after they were seeing each other that he had been cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with her. That is just low. Not to mention, it doesn't bode well for his likelihood of being faithful to her. He just isn't the kind of person you should want as a father to your children, let alone as a husband.

I sincerely want the best for her and her children. I think she is treated cruelly by the paparazzi. I also hope that her marriage to You-Know-Who doesn't blow up in her face. I think it would be a good thing for her to get out of Los Angeles and away from the media circus for a little bit, at least until her 2nd baby is born.

The fact that this was posted at Alpha Moms is telling that you wanted to point how equalizing motherhood can be. Everytime I go to the pediatrician's office and they go over things with me - don't let your baby eat paint chips, don't smoke around the child, don't let your child sit in the sun without protection - I think who is stupid enough to do those things to their child. But then my holier than thou attitude gets a swift kick in ass when I realize that my son is chewing on a hair dryer that is about to tip off the edge of the counter while I get ready for work.

While I agree that riding in the car with no car seat is beyond acceptable for me personally, I do have to say what I love about motherhood is that no one mother is perfect. I have met some lovely women who I previously had nothing in common with and enjoy seeing how they tackle common problems with parenting whether it's sleep tactics or how to get puke out of sheets. Wow, the VP of sales has spit up on her shoulder too, sweet! I get a kick out seeing Britney with the same jogging stroller and wonder if she's has the same issue getting it in and out of the car (ok she probably has a "manny" to do that. I need to get one of those.) I feel like I joined a club and as mom in this crazy world, I need all the help I can get.

Wow guys.

I think many people missed the "she's only human" aspect of things. Who are we to say what is or isn't excusable? There is no way - even with the 24 hour paprazzi coverage, even if she did 20 Matt Lauer interviews - that anyone could ever understand the whys of her behavior (especially as far as mothering goes).

We've been walking with her for so long. It's terrible to think that when she stumbled it boosted our egos to laugh. The polite thing would have been be to turn our heads respectfully and let her collect herself with dignity.

Yeah, yeah, I know she's only human.

I may have been harsh. I would probably feel more sorry for her if she didn't have millions of dollars.

I save that sympathy for my sister who makes less than $10/hr and has 2 kids under the age of 3.

Dooce--You're not asking anything I haven't already asked myself. The only answer I can come up with is the one I hear when celebrities talk about just wanting to be normal people. They want to go buy coffee or shop for baby clothes or get the paper from the end of the driveway in pair of ancient gym shorts and some rainboots. Whatever. The thing is, and this should come as no surprise to Britney or any other famous person, we live in a culture fascinated by fame. See those photographers sqatting near your garbage cans? Annoying, yes, but you flaunt all your good stuff out in public for us day in and day out. Your image is distorted because you pay people to help you achieve a perfect package to sell to us in the theaters and on the red carpet and on television. We want to believe it's true, but we know it's not. Celeb magazines are onto you, too. That's why there's one sleeping in your kid's treehouse right now with a telephoto lens. It's heartbreaking, sure, but all that money should compensate for the inconvenience. And it's a little bit of the "be careful what you ask for" thing in that you wanted to be an actor and you are and you're paid heinous amounts of cash to pretend you're someone else having sex with George Clooney. I say it all evens out somewhat. I don't take the pictures...I just buy the magazine. Uh...occasionally.

Aw, heck, I'm not trying to start a war here. Just pointing out that we are a product of what we grown up in. Brit grew up country, so she naturally does like her parents did. Right or wrong...

Does she make mistakes? Heck, yeah. Do I, as a mom, make mistakes? heck yeah.

Let's see: I know certain groups here in the USA that advocate for not immunizing their babies. Do I agree? No. Do I think they probably have valid reasons, and is it their right? Yes.

There's a myriad of other issues available: Dressing an infant like a teenager in hoochie clothes? Pacifiers? Nursing past teeth? Allowing 15 yr olds to drive? Allowing tv/video games in childhood? Homeschool/private school/public school/unschool?

My Point: She isn't perfect, she's doing what she was raised up doing, and it isn't any of your business, so quit.

Look at Dooce's point: Moms are more critical than anyone else. We (as a mom) all have made decisions about our kids' upbringings (some with assistance of another parent, some without). We didn't make those decisions lightly, we made them because we believe in them.

But instead of being supportive and encouraging, moms seem to be like a group of vigilantes, harshly condemning all non-conformers, "educating" (eg Bible thumping/brow beating/propoganda pelting) the non-conformers, etc.

Imagine how much different this world would be if the moms in it all started supporting each other, allowing the USA-given freedom to parent in the way that best suits them, offering assistance when requested, and taking a stand against abuse/neglect NOT by calling Channel 3's Reporter Andy Wise-@ss, but by stepping in and being a friend and demonstrating another way to parent through those particular circumstances that would avoid abuse.

Can you imagine how cool it would be if moms could relax, enjoy being a parent, enjoy being a spouse, enjoy the moments of their child's life, without having to feel like they have to be "supermom", "miss perfect" blah blah?

We share a bond- motherhood. We share a common interest- to watch our kids grow up and be productive, loving members of society (and to give us grandkids that are preshus!). We ought to be the most supportive group that exists, more than any religion, because we're all going through the same thing.

But it seems like most moms just want to pretend they NEVER have accidents, NEVER make mistakes, and NEVER EVER go without a bra to the Winn Dixie because the underwire is pinching the hell out of my swollen, leaking milk producing mammary glands.

Much less barefoot because I can't stand to stick my puffy, aching feet into anything that requires lacing, velcroing or a piece of plastic between my toes.

But if clogs came with a velour lining, I'd surgically attach them to my feet.

No,
Seriously,
I mean it,
That was one of the best written perspectives on what it means to be a Mother.

I love it when people are finally being "real".

I think the "appearance exhaustion" comment probably is accurate. I saw a biography show on Britney, and her parents had her in talent shows and such from an early age, and, according to the show, they really pushed her into that career. Not much of a childhood and not much chance to just be herself. . .kinda sad, really.
Also, I think Britney is keepin' it real--lord knows us normal folk have made a quick run to the grocery store without our makeup and hair done. She just has photographers stalking her when she does it.
As far as K-Fed -- EW! But, I'm guessing that she is the type of girl who is thinking that she's made her bed and now she has to lie in it. Sure wish she and JT could hook back up. (They looked so good together!) From my experience, tt's hard to leave a person after you've had a child with him/her. I'd imagine it's the same for some celebrities.

I was never a Britney Spears fan but lately I am actually liking her more because I feel a sympathy and an empathy for her. I don't think she's done anything better or worse than other first time mothers, but people want to take every little thing and make her look unfit. Babies don't come with instruction manuals, and you have to learn about them while sleep deprived.

I know that she has a nanny, but also that she was breastfeeding, which generally implies getting up in the night for the first several months. And frankly, when your breasts hurt like that and there is the possibility you are going to leak all over what you wear, what is the point in trying to be all prissy and fixed up?

In response to Goooder... I'm sure she does have nannies to help her, but as a mother, I know the haggard look of another mom who hasn't slept for days, if not weeks, and Brit's got it. You can see the look in her eyes, even on the occasions you do see her made up.
Personally, I feel, until you've been a mom to a new baby (yes, a 6-month old still qualifies) you've got no business judging. You have no idea how hard it is. Now, top that off with being pregnant again and having your every move documented....I can't imagine.

Bravo. When I watched that interview with Matt Lauer I was stunned at how she allowed herself to look like a normal person. A person with bad taste, but still, she was looking puffy and very pregnant and her makeup was bad, and she was chewing gum and she just looked so real.

You'd think the women's movement people would be kissing the ground she walks on for not present the anorexic's version of a pregnant body and acting as though the whole childbearing mess can be accomplished without a lot of embarrassing leakage and swellings.

Instead, as you say, everyone's attacking her for doing something that when I grew up was what your parents did with you for fun — put you on their lap when they were driving.

I have 3 kids..ages 7, 5 and 22months and there have been a million different times that I have stepped out my front door in a t-shirt, sweat pants and flip flops. Did I care? Not really. The baby was going to spit up on me whether or not I was dressed nice, or sloppy. The girls were going to wipe their snotty noses and hands on my clothes whether or not they were "nice" or otherwise. Did I pray that nobody I knew saw me? Oh hell yes!

I have made plenty of mistakes with my kids, a fact that I'm sure they will tell me when they are 16 and hating me. But was it in the public's glaring eye? Not unless you count the checkers at Wal-Mart. Does that make me any different or better than Britney? I don't think so, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like some of her excuses. She sat her child on her lap while she was driving. Wrong? yes. Should she have attributed it to being Southern? No. I'm Southern, and my dad did the same to me when I was little. Does that make it right? No. Would I do it with my own children? No. Why? Because I freakin know better..and I was 22, 24 & 28 when my kids were born.

If she's going to act they way she does, (which is no different than 1,000 non-famous people)and if she's going to dress the way she does, and she's going to be married to who she's married too, then by God, OWN IT! Don't make excuses. Admit when you're wrong, don't play it off.

I try my very best not to judge her. Sometimes it's hard not too, but I still try.

Amanda B. hit the nail on the head:

"From what I've observed, I think Britney has very few people in her life who she can really trust (including in her immediate family) and very few places where she is safe. I think it's a situation where she will have to learn to parent herself and that takes a lot of time and a good bit of trial and error. At least it did for me. "

I love that. Exactly.

I completely agree with you, 100%.

I was watching the "My Sweet 16" reality show on MTV last night (can't believe I just admitted that, but there you go), and I am constantly amazed at the way reality television and the Internet are affecting teenagers now. Imagine the tweens whose MySpace accounts will still be on the Internet when they're 22 and trying to find their first jobs out of college -- you better believe employers will make use of Google, and probably search other web sites, too, to find out everything they can about potential employees.

I shudder to think of the things I would've put on a blog had I started one in my teens. And just thinking of how much I've changed as I've gotten older is enough to make me frightened of how technology will affect me later in life, too. There's much more of a record of everything we do now. And Britney came of age in the public eye--remember when she claimed she wouldn't have sex until marriage? I'm sure when she said it she really believed it; but how can you know how your opinions will change as you get older? It's impossible to predict. It's like having someone follow you around and record every single thing you say, just so they can prove you wrong about everything later on.

Goooder...I'm not going to start a war here. My point was, its America, technically, you DO have the right to not immunize your children. I believe you just have to sign a waiver at the dr's office saying you understand the risks. Then you take a note from the dr to the school, and its accepted. America = freedom. Mostly.

With that said, my kids and my dogs have had all their shots, even the Lyme vaccine one.

First off, I have to say just how much you amaze me with your ability to see such the subtle things about life's "this and that" and translate it so well in your writing. You are a great talent.

Secondly, I have to agree with ya on this. I've thought the EXACT same thing about Mrs. Federline. You can't judge her really. She is what she is, despite being famous. She's soooo young. She is rather country and simple in many ways. And she's traveling life's road, just like so many like her, just in front of the whole world. I don't like her music at all. I will say it's catchy. But, I agree totally with the fact that she captivates you with her ease of being so amazingly beautiful while she performs and such. She's got that "it" thing that draws us all in.

But when that glossy image becomes scratched by REALITY, we all go, "Hey...where's our polished pop icon that helps escape our own realities?" When she refelects back what we already live and relate to, we, as a society, grimace collectively. We want to be fooled into the assumption that if you only could look wonderful and move like a cat, you'd have a better life. I'm guilty, for sure. Not that I envied Britney really. She just provided a very nice distraction from life on the outside.

I was very unsettled by her recent interview with Matt Lauer. Mainly cuz she looked so bad...her fake eyelashes applied incorrectly, her hair like a really bad dye job at the local redneck beauty salon...her horribly fitting trailer trash maternity wear...and that gum, Lord help us having to watch her smack that gum. I figured it MUST be Nicorette...since she was a smoker before getting pregnant. I know my poor husband flicks that gum like Chiclets when he's under stress. Talking to Matt Lauer about how everyone thinks you're one step away from living in a raised house in some swamp in Louisania because you just can't swing real life and super stardom, calls for a dose of nicotine.

But as I got over that initial reaction, I imagined what it must feel like to be her right now. Hugely pregnant, AGAIN (we all know she didn't mean for that to happen...truly an Oops, I Did It Again), probably feeling like a hippo, still reeling from post partum hormones, trying to cope, as you said, with what motherhood brings...and marriage (if you can call it that). And then, in the midst of this having to put on some "fancy" clothes, do your hair up good and go on national television to talk about yourself in some detached manner. I can't imagine how upsetting that must be.

Or like the time she tripped and all the cameras caught her nearly drop her son. Hell, I've had my child fall down a full flight of stairs while I was sitting on the couch. As upset as I was, and no one saw me when it happened, poor Britney was seen by hundreds and then when she tried to retreat to a local coffe shop the patrons and wait staff just leared at her like she'd just crapped in the street...her crying with her child. People are so cruel. It's harshly obvious how she was, is and will be fodder for our entertainment, and nothing more. When she got the lush praise of being a teen princess, she had no idea that's what she was. But now? Now, it's painfully obvious. A very harsh thing to realize in the midst of experiencing some of life's most draining experiences...becoming a parent. But, it happens to all stars eventually...when they get old, get divorced, suffer a drug problem, get AIDS, or simple go out of favor. No one is a darling forever.

So, like you, I see her in a much different light. And in all truth, I don't envy her fame or fortune. Rather, I feel sorry for her and hope, someday, she can live her life in some kind of peace. And mostly, that her children can.

Thanks for such an entertaining column. So glad I have you to read every day. And I know YOU know all to well how an "adoring public" can be so judgemental.

I have never considered myself a Britney fan. I never bought one of her albums, and I don't know that I ever will, but I can totally give her credit for her getting songs stuck in my head. She's catchy and lovable and I feel kinda' bad for her. The mistakes that come with motherhood are just exacerbated by press attention. I think it's cool that she's not trying to be something she's not. If her hair is dirty or she's not wearing a bra or shoes, at least she's not trying to please some tabloid reader 8 states away. Can you imagine trying to live your life to someone else's standards like that? Yuck!!

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/

When asked by Matt Lauer about changing her baby on the floor of Victoria's Secret, driving around with the little tyke on her lap and chewing gum during interviews, I believe she responded:

"We're country!"

Doesn't that cover it?

A month after I had my son in 1991(it was a horrible non-textbook c-section)I was holding him at a store when a friend walked up to me, patted my stomach and asked when I was due with my "next child." I was mortified. Did she NOT SEE THE BABY IN MY ARMS? If some paparazzi took pictures of me like that and circled my stomach and said something along the lines of "Pregnancy Bump Alert" I would have become postal. I wore those ugly stetch pants--you know the kind that hooked under the heel--and I felt ugly. I was exhausted from my toenails up.

I also remember the time I changed my son lightning-quick in the booth of a restaurant. Granted I laid him down on the seat and I used the wet wipes I always carried to clean the seat and my hands, but the point is I DID IT. Hi, my name is Jenny and I am a public diaper changer.

I watched both Britney Spears and Christina Aquilera go from pop princesses to grown women trying to find their niche and style in life. They have evolved more than once, and they will again. While I am not particularly big fans of either, they have both cranked out some kick ass tunes,and I'd love to have their set of pipes.

I found your piece about Britney to be wisely written through the eyes of an experienced mom. I watched the video clip of where she stumbled while holding her baby. It was not a near miss. It was a stumble and she didn't even come close to dropping him, but drama and sensationalism sells while "Oops She Stumbled Again" does not.

The one aspect of Britney's life I cannot condone, however, is when she hooked up with a another pregnant woman's man. He should have been off limits, no if's, and's, or butt's. And as she stated herself 'she's not that innocent' she knew what she was doing. But I shall not be the one to cast the first stone; I am not perfect or innocent either.

Kudos on your piece. I enjoyed it.

Well, I agree with you. If anyone has ever had a microscope as well as a telephoto lens perpetually focused on her, and millions, no, billions of people judging her parenting decisions, it's Britney Spears. And I feel sorry for her. No one deserves to be judged so harshly. I think the worst of it was when she stumbled with Sean in her arms. She stumbled, people! She clearly felt terrible about it and yet people took it as proof of her poor parenting skills. Please. When someone gets a photo of her smoking a crack pipe while pregnant and Sean, nearby, licks some white powder up off the floor, then I think we can all say that she's a bad mother. Until then, she's an average mother. With lots of help.

Ever since Kevin "happened" - I've done much more cursing of her family and friends than of her. Why doesnt someone intervene? I have felt very sorry for her for awhile because, I married someone in a pseudo-desperate moment where you hope that it will just make things better, but deep down you kind figure it won't. I worry about her and something think, "If I could just have a few lunch dates with her, I think I could be SUCH a help!"

hehe.

Part of me wants that "poor girl" to tidy up a bit. She is a public figure out there all the time for the world to judge. But, the other part of me finds it completely refreshing that she is so famous and yet so unpolished. It is very obvious that she doesn't have a coach whispering "right" answers in her ear, and that is something way outside the norm these days. Congrats for not being a typical pop-queen robot Brit!
Great writing once again Dooce. Anna Nicole next? HA.

Speaking of "airbrushed", that Bazaar cover photo is so heavily Photoshopped that Britney is unrecognizable. She looks like her own much younger sister. A little honesty on her part would have been appreciated.

I've never been a huge fan of Britney's,musically, but I really feel sorry for her now. I'm her age, and a mom of two, but when I have a bad day and don't look my best or trip while holding the baby, the only person that knows is my husband. Also, my two are two and a half years apart. I can't imagine going through pregnancy when your first baby is only two months old!!!

And to have tabloid readers watching would just kill me. I ventured the two blocks to the grocery store yesterday with the baby in a carrier and my 2 year old in the stroller, but not buckled in. On the wipes aisle, he slid out under the snack tray and started to run away from me. I did the only thing there was to do and held the baby's head with one hand and ran and hefted Wyatt onto my hip with the other and put him back in the stroller, with him screaming and splaying out his feet so I couldn't fit him in. People were giving me looks and I just wanted to say "If you're not going to catch him for me then mind your own goddamn business".

Poor thing, I just hope she and her kids make it through all this in one piece.

i totally agree with everything you've said, heather. people are being way to harsh. where were the cruel words from mothers around the world when we were looking at video of kate moss doing lines of cocaine at 2 in the morning? where was her daughter? who was watching her. we are a land of hypocrites. at least she is spending time with her child and not leaving him alone with some nanny all day.

I agree with you one hundred percent. I accidentally locked my 10 month old son into the car in the middle of the summer and had to have the police come break into my car. A *total* accident, a *total* nightmare, and oh my God, can you imagine if the press cared about me? I'd be labeled a Terrible Freak Mom. I'd have Mommy Blogs ripping me a new asshole every 14 minutes.

Mothers are the biggest haters, it is so true. Every mom has a story of "that bitch who judged me but ohmygod she doesn't understaaaand". So perhaps it is those attacks that make us attack back. I don't know.

It is why I avoid online motherind communities. It is why I don't read parenting magazines. It is why I didn't attend prenatal classes. It is why I don't read parenting books. Maybe I'm missing out on some community by doing that, but I feel like my own community - friends, family, neighbors, blogs I trust - is good enough. Why go elsewhere just to be told that I'm wrong and that I suck?

I love Britney now, because I see myself in her. The messy wad of hair, the not quite picture perfect marriage (though I must admit I think kfed is a bad idea), the reality of motherhood.

Motherhood is NOT what Denise Richards makes it out to be. It is NOT what Heido Klum makes it out to be.

It is you. It is me. It is Britney.

I am not a mother, but I am about Britney's age. First, I am not a fan of her music. It's just not my style. However, I don't think that chastising a woman over every single thing she does is fair. Especially when ever single thing she does ends up in tabloid magazines around the world. I've made mistakes and I will continue to do so, as I'm sure Britney will. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to have everyone critize me about how my husband is a loser and I should dump him while I am pregnant with his kid, or about how I'm a terrible mother because photographers detail my every waking hour but only publish the times when I look my worst.

Do I think that she should have driven with her kid on her lap? No, because ever time I see that picture I can only think about what would have happened if there was an accident and the airbag went off. However, I can tell you that my parents weren't perfect. My mother dislocated my elbow twice trying to get me into too small clothes and my dad turned his back for a second and my brother wandered off into a store in the mall (he was found and my father's heart attack was averted).

No one is perfect.

Good piece, Heather!

I enjoyed your take on it. I don't necessarily think she's a bad mom, but I still think she ought to hire someone who will tell her to put some clothes on aready and spit out the gum dammit before she goes on the Today show.

Heather. I caught a negative commenter from your blog. He called me a boring dumbass. He commented as anonymous.

My stupid little blog that no one reads, and I have a negative commenter.

And I caught it from you.

I think I might cry now. How do you do this? I might have an emotional breakdown for being called a waste of bandwidth. I have no idea who you've kept this site open with all the criticism of your parenting skills.

I commend you on your bravery, and any other parent who blogs and gets shit for it.

This is irrelevant, I know, feel free to delete it. I was just kind of shocked! A comment! Me! On my blog! From a mean person!

Amen, sister. It's refreshing to see someone fumble through life as we all do at one point or another... If Britney could gain anything positive thru the harsh public judgement, I hope it would be for her to realize that she has lifted a weight off many women who feel inadequate as wives, mothers, role models. That even with billions, the publicists, sylists, and nannies...even then, we are all human. I hope someone has told her this...If we were BFF's (as I've always thought we should be), I would tell her so...and maybe to throw on some shoes when using a public shitter.

I just feel bad for her - I am SO glad all my awkwardness was not put on public display (or, at least not nationally) when I was younger. Hell, even the awkwardness I have now...

But to be totally honest, I would have used all that money to dress appropriately, hire the help I needed to stay sane and poised, and kicked that white trash husband to the curb before he had a chance to bleed my baby's college fund dry. I really hope she pulls it together - all the negative feedback must be so painful. For all her mistakes, she does have an innocent quality that makes you root for her....

I'm sorry, I don't think Brittany is a bad mom, but her wardrobe shows a total lack of common sense...if she wants the press to give her privacy, she should stop walking around naked.

I'm not a mother, but I remember my parents' methods pretty well. I all but idolize them now, and they did some really stupid things when I was a kid. I got left outside the library for hours in the middle of South Dakota November. I bashed my head on every piece of furniture and every remotely sharp corner in our house. I ate a cricket, once. I almost drowned when my family was busy playing in the deep end of our friends' pool and my mom was lying out on the deck. My brother noticed at the last minute and pushed me up out of the water.

I could go on forever. After all this, though, I can still say I have and did have awesome parents. Britney nearly drops her baby on his head? So what? How many mothers haven't done something like that? Baby in the car with no car seat? Yes, that's stupid, and almost every parent should know better. But how many mothers have done something equally stupid that endangered their children's lives? It might not have been a car seat, but surely in some other department...

She might have nannies to help her out and all sorts of people worrying about her all the time, but she's still a freaking human being. It doesn't matter how many other imperfect human beings are fluttering around her all the time. She'll still make mistakes. I don't know a mother who hasn't.

Oh, and I kinda like the dark hair on her...and now I will leave Brittney alone.