Tell the young lad I bought them for my Granny to garden in. That ought to help a little. He can have 'em back when he gets dentures. =)

Oh, there are RIGHTS, BABY. RIGHTS!!!!

No blood for clogs!

Stop the madness! Join us for a candlelight vigil at Gazebo Park this evening to protest this illegal war. Celebrate people of all shoe types and show the leaders of unjustified conflict the we don't buy into thier "us vs. them" pardigm. Bring your feet and your favorite footwear, all will be welcome. (Except sock and sandle wearers, cause nobody likes that shit.)

You're mean. They're better than BIRKENSTOCKS, aren't they? They're better than TOPSIDERS, aren't they?

If you are not:
1) a nurse
2) a little girl
You should NOT be wearing these clogs. Sorry.

You know, I'm a Birkenstock-wearin' girl, but I kind of hate these things.

He must be stopped, I agree. Its very impractical footware...and just plain...wrong...Where do I sign up in the Dooce Anti-Clog Campagin??

Just be glad you don't live in the Denver/Boulder area and are accosted by Crocs every day.

I completely agree & support your decision. No real man should ever want to wear those things, or even utter the word "clog." It's not in our vocabulary. For the good of your family, make him see the light.

Seriouly Heather, give the man back his shoes!

Vive La Clogs!

My vote is in!

Anti-clogs - the war on clogs should be fought much more vehemently than the war on terrorism, IMHO.

Mainly because you don't see ordinary Americans standing on the backs of terrorists trying to pass off as people deserving of anything less than a kick in the neck.

Full on with the CLOGS.

1) Very Euro-chic
2) Comfortable as all get-out
3) Sexy- in that man showing his vulnerable, sensitive side kind of way

Start a petition Heather!!! I'll sign your petition against clogs. Oh, and men wearing sandals. Neither should be allowed, for the good of humanity.

Either that, or you can cut them into pieces, send them to willing Doocelings, who will photograph the pieces around various parts of the globe, kinda like a ransom that he'll never get. Mwuahahahahahahaah....

I'm right behind you, 100%. I hid The Husband's workboots - you know, the light shaded Timberland type? He used to wear them everywhere.

With shorts.

Ahem.

there are clogs (the nice danish kind) and then there are these weird pseudo-clogs that are plasticky and have been showing up everywhere here in california. they have these weird air-holes in them and have no real heel at all (nice danish type clogs have heels, rather sturdy ones too) and you can find them at payless (which i love, don't get me wrong, $15 dollars for shoes with fake diamonds? give them to me!) and i tried some on and they feel awful and i have seen actual human beings walking around wearing them and they look odd, scuffing their feet around.
birkenstocks are a fine substitute or flip-flops or even those teva things, which may not be pretty but i'm sure that they won't make your feet sweat like plastic clogs. ergh.

My grandmother has a pair of clogs. They are bright orange and she bought them to wear in her garden. Does Jon have a garden to wear them in?

Is it really cute and perky when one spouse essentially owns the other spounse and can take away any right or prevent any behavior they choose?

Are you really sure you want to go back to those days?

Maybe you could start slapping him when he asks for them. That would be even funnier.

Ooh, this is gonna get good.

Heather, have you even tried a pair? I know they are hideous looking but once you slip your foot into that buttery-soft man-made pleather like material you will know why he is upset. They are very comfy. Trust me.

Ah, finally it lets me post! Yestiddy I was apparently the Antichrist and it wouldn't let me in. Curse you, Typekey!!!
Anyway.
I bought a cheapo knockoff pair of these for one of the girls, in a perky red, white and blue swirl motif (how many people just vomited at that descript, BTW?), and she loves the hell out of those things.
Be merciful, Heather, let the man have his slippers - uh, clogs - back.
;)

I’ve been feeling extra anxious today, and now I think I know why. can you two please make up and make out? I can’t pick sides and the whole thing is very upsetting to me.

also, heather – the pink shoes are ok, right? I’m honestly worried about them.

*slinks off, scrounges up some valium*

I hate those things. People say they are so comfortable, but unless you're working in a garden you are crazy to think you can get away with wearing them anywhere else. They're hideous! Hideous I say!

Oh my goodness - I am laughing so hard my family thinks I am nuts!

He doesn't wear them with....GASP.....SOCKS does he?!?!?! Oh, death to socks and clogs, or socks paired with any other sandal for that matter. Such fashion atrocities cannot go unpunished. YOUC CHILD'S FASHION SENSE IS AT STAKE!!!!!!!!!!

This is about the pink strappy things, isn't it? Is he holding them hostage?

Jon, I fully support your inalienable right to not only wear clogs, but to also ENJOY doing so with persecution or restrait. GIVE BACK THE CLOGS!

Sorry for the double posting. Horrible, horrible....

Good Afternoon, My name is Carrie and I am addicted to Crocs Clogs. This past March on a trip to St. Louis I was introduced to a pair of these shoes. My boyfriends mother asked me to just put my feet into them. What harm could this do was all I thought, so I took off my flip flops and placed my feet into a black pair of these shoes and within an instant I was at the counter purchasing my first pair. WHAT.. What had I just done.. I was wearing what my boyfriends father now only calls MOON SHOES. By the end of the weekend I owned 2 pairs and wish for more. It has been 3 months since I purchased my crocs and I have now gotten my boyfriend to purchase a pair of the flip flops by crocs (more manly yes?) and my boyfriends sister has now purchased her first pair of croc clogs and loves them.

Last week we were on vacation in middle of nowhere Utah,(a whole nother story right there) when my boyfriends father looked over at us and said. You know Area 51 isn't far from here. Do you feel the mothership calling?

Some people don't understand the glory that is a pair of crocs. So I stand tall and scream from the mountains...

FREE THE CROCS...

This sort of reminds me of my friend's Mom and G-ma. They had a pair of THE UGLIEST shoes, called "The Pilgrim Shoes" that they stole from one another and then mailed randomly back and forth cross country during the years disguised as a gift. This went on for, I swear to god, 30 years, until the G-ma died.

Ya know, I can forsee clogs clogging your mailbox for the next few weeks.... new, used, plastic, wool, Leta-sized.

Im just sayin'.

Stay strong, Heather.

I thought clogs were awful when I first saw them on girls. On a man? He might as well wear pleated, tapered khakis.

Yup, Heather is definitely right. I saw the most beautiful girl in the world last week and she was those icky clogs. I can't explain how difficult it was to resist the urge to beat her over the head with him. So for Jon's safety, it's probably best that he not get them back ;)

I am Dutch. I have often worn the wooden types. Now they are comfortable (take some getting used to)and chique. Foam, duh!!

BOO!

Women in clogs is SEXY! Men in clogs is very, very GAY. The only thing worse is when men pull their pants up to their chest, and their "business" is all to one side! Please don't let that happen to Mr. Blurbomat. Good job w/ the clog removal, Dooce. You're lookin' out for your man.

You don't get to criticize Crocs unless you've actually tried on a pair and walked a few steps in them. Ugly, yes, but so comfortable when you spend a 12-hour shift on your feet. I'm up to three pair........

Then again, Heather, you could get out your Crayola crowns and color Jon's shoes to suit your taste before you give them back.

Maybe I completely missed the answer to my question somewhere but... Did you take away the clogs because of the stench and nastiness or because you think men shouldn't wear clogs or because they are just plain ugly most of the time? I think the answer is critical to determining where I stand.

Harsh, so harsh.

Props to the person who offered to send Jon more. Dooce, this plan might backfire when Jon gets 50 more pair in the mail.

Hey...I am wearing my black Crocs right now. In the desert in Kuwait. Defending your husband's right to wear clogs! Somehow, I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm here. At least telling myself that keeps me partially sane.

I remember snickering at my professor back in the 80's because we saw him wearing clogs. Men? wearing clogs? The only men I know that wear clogs are gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Being gay, that is.

lol, the timing of my comments makes me look like an ass, I swear it wasn't up there when i wrote it. Still hoping for the masthead though . . .

I never understood why people started wearing the garden clogs out of the garden. I guess I don't care what people put on their feet really as long as it's not socks with sandals.

I am torn. Those clogs are ugly. There's no way around it. But as a woman who has, on more than one occasion, had to sneak a new pair of shoes in the door, past the man who might again say "MORE shoes?" in an unjustifiably horrified tone of voice, and into the closet where she quickly plops them on the rack and eats the shoe box evidence - I can't fully condemn the clogs.

But I do believe in taking a stand against horrifying behavior, whatever you deem that to be.

Stand your ground! And then blog about it.

seriously. and after reading posts about how gangly and tall the armstrong's are, i'm thinking y'all have big feet too. i can't imagine how much more the assaulting the clogs in giant size. away with the clogs!

We of the Clog Army shall vanquish all foes who oppose us. Hey, Jon and hias Army even have a logo! And what Army with a logo EVER lost?!

And Heather will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

(Jon.. I'm still waiting on whether or not we "foot soldiers" -- pardon the pun, get paid or not)

Ah, but is there a right to not wear clogs? I don't think so.

oh man....I had hoped it wouldn't come to this...I rebelled against the whole crocs/clogs thing until I bought my daughters & son a pair, and then I tried a pair on...they were cushiony, comfy, springy...but if it makes a difference, I feel guilty when I wear them...

Jon, if you wore your clogs to New York City and walked around (especially with your, um, CamelPak), we would all assume you were a German tourist. And nobody wants that.

On the other hand, I firmly believe that marriage is all about compromise. Perhaps, for example, Jon could restrict his clog-wearing to those times when he is in the bathroom (while flushing with impunity!) or while engaged in gardening activities?

On a related note, I wonder if there is any clog porn?

While waiting in a very slow line at the supermarket recently, I allowed my eyes to linger in appreciation on the really hot guy waiting in front of me. His tousled hair, the golden skin on the back of his neck, the blonde fuzz on his arms, that butt, those legs, and... WHAT THE HELL IS HE WEARING ON HIS FEET!?!?!? That is the day I learned of Crocs. Every day since, I have wished that someone would take it back.

Go Jon! Crocs ARE hideous, and that is why we love them. I would be happy to send you another pair, but only if I can pick the color. We'll see how she like it when you are sporting bright PINK crocs.
Sorry Heather, hiding a man's hippie footwear is just wrong. You will push him into buying a pair of Danskos if you're not careful.

I have to take sides against the clogs. Maybe if they were leather or canvas... but plastic shoes make me think of stinky feet, even if they are ventilated. P-U!

Crocs. Ugh.

Crocs are this generations jellies (remember those horrid things in the 80s). Then, as now, only small children can get away with plastic shoes. No exceptions. There are other comfortable shoes. Even without the plastic thing, the colors (oh, my eyes!) the holes (even if the people's feet aren't stinky, I see those holes in otherwised closed toe shoes and I start checking the direction of the wind so I can stand upwind), and general ugliness, my personal rule is that shoes should not be bought at card stores...and Hallmark is the number one location I see for Crocs sales.

THERE ARE OTHER COMFORTABLE SHOES, PEOPLE!

And as for clogs in general, while I have only limited appreciation for clogs for myself (only leather, only in fall/winter, and only with really interesting tights and a cute skirt), I can mostly ignore them on others, and certainly would never say anything about them. Unless they make that clopping sound. Clogs that clomp are just flat out noise pollution. Ugh. Selfish, selfish, those clomping clog wearers are selfish. And if that's the sort of clogs being held hostage, I say Heather's treating them too well. They should be burned, baby, burned!

THANK GOD - someone else who thinks that no good can come of bare feet and rubber shoes. Ick. And they are UGLY people.

attention hater-aid drinkers:
1) crocs and any off-brand form they take are comfortable
2) wearing crocs is like walking on marshmallows (sans goo)
3) they come in a rainbow of colors
4) no animals die
5) no association with hippies
6) crocs: always dry

let it go, haters!

You go girl.

If us woman didn't correct these kinds of "offenses against society" men would continue to walk the earth in... clogs... shorts with white socks pulled up to mid-calf... wife-beaters.

Thank you for doing your part for humanity.

Stand firm, H! Crocs are weapons of mass infugtion. No one should wear rubber shoes. No one.

While I am rabid anti-male-clog contingent, I'd vote for an inside-only clog clause.

Awww, he's so lucky he has someone in his life who loves him enough to take away the clogs.

I bet those things look really cute on Jon.

Give them back!

I love my pink crocs! Granted my 7yo son would absolutely love you and even tried to hide my pair before I got them out of the store! I think if you wore them you'd love them too! ;

I have one thing to say to you. At least they are not bright orange like the one my hubby loves.

Um, your husband has linked to a picture from People.com on his site, saying that even famous people (although it seems pretty limited) wear clogs.

It appears that they also wear aqua cargo capris with their clogs.

You can tell Jon that the famous people thing just ain't gonna work if that's all he's got. =)

Are we anti-clogs in all circumstances? I mean... what about ER doctors and nurses? Or... doing the laundry or something?

I'm just saying... it's not all black and white here.

Men should not wear clogs. END OF STORY.

Ugh.

Ok, I just gotta say. I made fun of those for a long time. Then I put some on my preggo swelling feet. They are just too damn comfy. My hubby is also Dutch, the home of clogs. I gotta go with Jon on this one! lol!

Why do you even care what shoes your husband wears? It annoys me to think that the same people who agree with you on this clog jihad would also scream bloody murder if the tables were turned, and Jon was the one telling you what you weren't allowed to wear.

Yes, they are ugly. I even called them "those stupid ugly shoes" when I was scouring the city for baby blue ones for my daughter. Then I was very nearly physically forced to try them on, at Payless, by a managerial type guy. So, Heather and all you other croc haters, don't knock it till you try it!

Of course, my Born clogs are pretty comfy too...just no good when it's raining.

Hang in there... those things are EVIL. And I do mean EEEEEEEEVIL.

My husband actually banned me from buying those. BANNED.

Has he threatened you yet to withold nookie if he doesnt get his clogs back?

Quoting (k) of the dooce comment policy which reads, "Be nice," I say: give the handsome man his ugly shoes back.

Now, I'm not totally anti-clog...I used to work food-service and believe in the lifesaving power of Dansko...but man clogs? outside the kitchen? no, darling.

And what's more? The Manolo has your back, Dooce:
http://shoeblogs.com/wordpress/2005/02/18/the-crocs/
http://shoeblogs.com/wordpress/index.php?s=the+crocs

Stop the clog insanity... the Conciliatory Liberation Of Good Shoes (C.L.O.G.S.) will happen because the Army of Clog will bring about the peace of clog lovers everywhere!

Go Jon!!!

I don't understand the clog thing. Sure, I tried them once. But they made me feel like my feet were going to abandon ship at any moment.
I just can't live like that, you know?

Oh, Heather. Men, especially older men, deserve a little leeway on their shoes. There are no cute strappy sandals for them. There aren't a lot of shoes for them that are forgiving of "Man Feet" in general.

Just let Jon have his clogs back, and be glad he's not like my boyfriend, who at age 51 thinks that no man should have a pedicure and insists on wearing sandals that show off his gnasty Man Feet and Callous Toe in all their gory details. I'm really glad he's taller than me, because I couldn't sleep knowing those Feet had the slightest chance of touching mine and perhaps slicing my delicate skin open. As it is, they're 14 inches closer to the end of the bed than mine.

See, there are worse things than clogs.

Um...why the hell does it matter what your husband, a grown man, wears on his own damn feet? I would wager that if he started hiding your high heeled shoes you'd be equally pissed off.

The crocs look comfortable and are not as ugly as a flip flop. Let the man have his shoes. Even if you think they're ugly, it's a small thing. My husband has a pair of bright yellow sweatpants that he likes to wear...and has even worn them outside the house. They're ugly, they're a tad small, and I personally think wearing sweatpants outside the house screams "I've given up." But...he's a good daddy, a good husband, and he's a grown man capable of making his own footwear/fashion decisions. Just like Jon.

Geez Louise.

I am behind you all the way. Down with clogs!

All right, I was fine until somebody started bashing Steely Dan.

The gloves are comin' OFF! And the clogs are stayin' ON!

Free the clogs!

I'm with you on the clog front and with Jon on the CRAYON front.

you really think tying laces is all it's cracked up to be? I'm with Jon... CLOGS RULE.

My husband wears clogs. Not Crocs, thank jeebus, but the Birkenstock variety. I can approve of those, sort of.

It's all about choosing one's battles, and mine is the battle between back hair and clogs. The clogs won and the back hair is but a memory.

Crocs are gross, though. Unless you're a nurse or a maximum-security prisoner or Mario Batali, take 'em off!

Perhaps Chuck needs some new toys to chew on?

Are those the god awful rubber clogs made for gardening? Much as I feel that house pants should stay in the house, I feel gardening clogs should stay in the garden.

MissDirected means they should stay BURIED in the garden.

But the word is cray-on.

FINALLY on my 87th try, TypeKey let me log in. Jeez. Anyway, I hate the Crocs myself, though I love Birks. I think it is hilarious that your household stand off over the crocs is being played out over the pages of the internet.

word.

Uh, yeah...As long as he's fixing something with them on he should be allowed to keep them.

*stands in solidarity*

Seriously. This is the best thing to do in extreme situations such as these.

*solemn nod*

They are so comfy and good for your feet... did you try on any pink ones... You can come to the dark side and wear a pair! We would be so happy! I am hoping my hubs gets me a pair for my birthday!

as much as those shoes do look like someone hit them with the ugly stick, they're uber-comfortable for those of us who are on our feet for 8 hours shifts. i finally converted to the croc religion this may and i haven't looked back yet. granted, they are UGLY but i also don't get blisters from them and i can deal with being on the move for 8 hours while wearing them.

give the man back his clogs.

http://people.aol.com/people/galleries/0,19884,1205980_7,00.html

....just sayin'....

That and them being featured in my Nordstrom email a couple weeks ago....

.....and that they take forever to get FROM Nordstrom because they are backordered....

I admit to owning a pair of Crocs. I got them when I was still working as a Sea Kayaking instructor for days when I was not on the water but in the store and on the dock. No worries about getting them wet and they don't smell (very important caveat when you run around with wet feet for a good portion of the day). Also good for apres-surfing.

They were also the *ONLY* pair of shoes I could wear during the latter half of my pregnancy, when I developed preeclampsia and my feet swelled to unbelievable proportions. Not to mention the added bonus of not having to bend over to get them on or fasten them (not that I could bend over at all, mind you).

Now, as of yesterday, my boyfriend's 12 year old son has claimed them as his own. I suspect I may never wear them again.

Can someone buy me a pair of Manolo Blahniks now?

Thank god somebody is looking out for our eyesight! NEVER give them back. NEVER!

Wow, look at all those comments supporting clogs.

You think Blurb is assuming a bunch of aliases and making those comments? Surely there can't be THAT many clog supporters. ;)

I mean, really, didn't you guys just pay good money to get rid of a big clog in your downstairs toilet? There's a reason they call those things clogs. Just sayin'.

I can understand your plight, but think of it this way - the Crocs are at least stylish (for the moment anyway), anti-microbial (so they don't smell like feet), easy to clean, they don't look like crap as quickly, and are far cooler/funkier looking than most icky clogs on the market today. If I had to choose between clogs or Crocs, I'd go with the Crocs! They are by far the lesser of the two evils! Plus they sell them at Nordy's!

It's ok - people with Crocs and people who wear sexy, strappy-ass pink Jimmy Choo heels can co-exist peacefully! :o)

"Honey, have you seen my clogs?"

"We got rid of them, dear. Don't you remember when the nice men came and ripped up the driveway?"

This is 2006! Why can't we all agree that shoe-consumption should only be about looks, not comfort, and continue our shallow, materialistic, but undeniably sexy lives, as Manolo Blahnik intended?

i am sorry but you are sadly mistaken. Clogs rock.

Crocs - the unsexy. Although I'm picturing Brad Pitt in a pair and its not so bad... if that's all he's wearing. Clog hopping bloggers.

It's tough what you are doing for the world and for Jon. Just remember that right now he's in shock and probably going through withdrawals- so he may not be himself. He may lash out in anger. He may blame you for his feelings of confusion and sadness. He may start singing Wham! songs for no apparent reason.

Be strong my friend, you can get him through this.

BURN THEM BURN THEM BURN THEM! And buy him some Birkenstocks. Come on. They NEVER go out of style.

but those aren't even real clogs...they're more like...slingbacks for men!

I am with you 100 percent.They are uglllllllllllllllyyyy...there is no doubt about it. Montana has totally caught on the trend. OFCOURSE, that's the only trend they have caught on to . So we still have everyone wearing the mullet or high as heaven hair, high waisted pants. and GASP!, Poisen t-shirts. (half the people here either are looking like they came off th set of 'BONANZA'the other look like they are frontin as groupies for some heavy metal band. ) AND THEY ALL WEAR CROCS... Scary world up here! Next thing you know the $ store will be carrying some cheapo version. Oh what is this world coming to?

Not going to say they're not ugly, even with a snazzy Google logo on 'em, but DAMN, they're comfortable.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/aubs/172921079/

Sorry, have to go with Jon on this one.

They were awfully cute on Leta's little feet because little baby girls feet can make anything cute ... try it with clogs, maybe even toe-less socks or tuna sandwiches! However, men's feet are just the opposite and can make almost anything repellant ... try it with your favorite mary jane's, maybe even thigh high stripey socks or croissants!

Crocs rock, awesomely. John wins.

I have one word: retaliation.

Jon will happily drop this clog issue if you insist on wearing pink Uggs everywhere. With shorts. And a tank top.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

ooogy, I saw a bizillion of these clogs with and without socks, in "Poorlando" and wondered why the hell any one would wear them, still don't know.

Ugly, yet comfortable I'm sure . Are these "in-style"?!

Free Jon's clogs!
To free Jon's clogs is to free Jon's feet!
To free Jon's feet is to free his obsessive compulsive cleaning prowess on the floors (Clorox Clean-up!) and in the kitchen! (dishwasher stacked to capacity)and in the bathtub! (we SO won't go there.)

I trust I have made my point.

Save your pink shoes. If Leta wears clogs in high school she will remain a virgin for 47 months longer than non-clog wearing beauties.