I find it highly comical that the author of several pieces on etiquette at The Morning News is going to be spending the next five days with someone who can barely go five minutes without referring to male genitalia in a manner offensive to persons of class. Maggie, I promise I will at least try to be on my best behavior and send all my RSVPs on time.

Chawazek, Leta's Pseudo Internet Godmother, is coming as well, and we're all going to spend the next few days in Moab, home to all those crazy natural arches and rock formations that look like cocks. (Maggie isn't here yet so I've got to get that word in as much as possible. COCK ROCKS! COCK KNOCKERS! ROCKERS OF COCK! HICKORY DICKORY COCK!)

I won't be updating much the next few days if at all, because you know what? I DON'T HAVE TO BE MOTHER AND COMMANDER FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS. I get to sleep in past 6:30 am and stay up past 10. And most importantly, I don't have to wipe another person's butt for 72 hours. I hope that when I return Jon is still alive.

Let the inappropriate (yet not too embarassing for our husbands) behavior commence.