Two frequent commenters on my site, Closet Metro and Amanda B., have masterminded an email onslaught of butt photos demanding that I post a picture of Leta performing something on command:

"Here's the deal - daily pictures of my butt until you post about Leta giving Butterfly Kisses. (Those lashes must be used for good, not evil.)"

Because as you know up until now Leta has been using her eyelashes to maim helpless kittens and key expensive sports cars. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get your child to perform something on command? Oh, she'll say Mama and Dada in private when she knows she is not on display, but stick her in front of someone you want to impress and she'll sit there, eyes glazed over, drooling like a starved mutt.

Believe me, I AM SO TRYING to teach her how to give butterfly kisses. How many more of these butt photos could you withstand:

Closet Metro's dog's ass

Amanda B. displaying her resistance to my acts of youthful stupidity

By the end of this campaign I should have a whole gallery of ass photos in their own category, Menacing Butt Shots of Human and Animal Variety, because my child is stubborn. JUST LIKE HER FATHER. Not at all like me.