Yesterday cousin GEORGE! called to wish Leta happy birthday. I know, how cute is that? And when Leta heard his voice on the speaker phone she raised her arms and tried to take flight, she knew who it was and if that doesn't touch you right there in the soft spot THEN YOU AND I COULD NEVER PARTY TOGETHER.

He and I chatted for a while, and we talked about how his website has brought out the Internet Bitches, which as you know is inevitable. He used the word "wiener" and panties bunched into wads across the midwest. He and I both agreed that no one really understands how depraved our childhoods were. Plus, wiener. Who doesn't love a good wiener?

"I've been chatting with some people online," he said, "and they keep calling me some sort of 'celebrity.'"

"Of course you're a celebrity, GEORGE!" I agreed. "Just LOOK at you."

"Yeah, but," he continued, "I just want people to know that I'm still the same person. It hasn't changed me."

And through belly laughs that nearly killed me dead I told him, "GEORGE! It's SO good to know that the fame and the FORTUNE haven't gone to your head."

GEORGE! He's still the same person.