Masthead Menu

  • About this site
  • Contact Me
  • Archives
  • Mastheads
  • Shop
  • FAQ
  • community
  • view
  • view
  • view
dooce® - dooce.com

How to Charm Me

Call me back and say, "If I haven't flipped you off or told you to go to hell in the last month, then consider it done," right after hanging up the phone to wish your granddaughter a happy birthday, having not yet listened to the messages I left on your voice mail that went something like this: "You have not yet called to wish your granddaughter a happy birthday, and since it is five minutes until six o'clock OUR time, you have approximately SIX hours to do the right thing. You forgot MY birthday once, which you know I will never fully forgive you for, but I WILL NOT LET YOU SCAR MY DAUGHTER THE SAME WAY, GRANDMOMMIE."

02.04.2005 How to Charm Me comments closed
Previous Post Next Post

You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.

If you've already registered, login.

If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.

Heather talks about overcoming depression on today's Momversation.

  • Leta: "STOP FOLLOWING ME, COCO!" I wonder where she picked up that exclamation.
  • Me: "Hey Marlo, here's a vibrantly colored, squeaky toy made specifically for your age group!" Marlo: "Got any knives?"
  • @makeandtakes my pleasure! Had a great time with you guys!

Text Ads

Put your text ad on dooce.com


Footer Books by Heather B. Armstrong
It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather B. Armstrong

It Sucked and Then I Cried

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Other Vendors

Things I Learned About my Dad in Therapy by Heather B. Armstrong

Things I Learned About My Dad in Therapy

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Elsewhere

  • flickr
  • Twitter
  • Recently

    • October 2009
    • September 2009
    • August 2009
    • July 2009
    • June 2009

    © 2001 - 2009 Armstrong Media, LLC. All rights reserved. Powered by Drupal. Hosted by Liquidweb. Footer Feedicon RSS Feed Footer FM badge Advertise on dooce®