I always hated poinsettias until this year when I saw FUSCHIA and SALMON and VIOLET colored ones. Red ones are for grandma's, give me my technicolor beauties!
Dooce, people put one word comments in the first several because they are desperately trying to be first.
And as we all KNOW...being first ROCKS. ;-)
This is postcard purty. Did you know that poinsettas are poisonous to cats? Dogs and babies--no problem.
Happy Holidays!
12.21.04 - 06:41 AM
23. Slim said:
Dooce:
I think it's to make up for all the reading you had to do yesterday. But give it time....
12.21.04 - 06:41 AM
24. MrsDoF said:
Golly, that is so gorgeous.
Please tell me you are at a Florist and not someone's personal undertaking, because if it is, I'm so jealous of having that much time and space to garden.
Absolutely stunning. And, contrary to popular belief, not poisonous (unless you eat about 400 of the plants which, I find, is true for hemp too).
12.21.04 - 06:43 AM
28. LisaG said:
Wow!
12.21.04 - 06:43 AM
29. Whoopsie said:
I hate to break it to you Dooce, but you CAN inherit the hiccups. My grandfather passed them on to my mom and my mom passed them on to me and now my daughters have the same problem. Any time I take a bite of ANYTHING without a drink, I instantly have the hiccups...gotta love genetics.
How nice! Reminds me of Southern Christmas' in Germantown, TN.
12.21.04 - 06:45 AM
33. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Just saw Sarah's post. Yep, they be poisonous to cats. So are Philodendrons, Baby's Breath, Iris, Tulips, Easter Lilies and a whole freakin' mess of other plants. If you got a cat, hemp is the way to go.
mmm nacho sandwich with cheese. (don't forget the salsa)
12.21.04 - 07:08 AM
46. Colleen from NJ said:
Hey! I have a great recipe for poisonsettia latte ...
To the Armstrongs, GEORGE, and all Doocelanders, have a wonderful holiday! I am spending the next 5 days in the hospital AWAY FROM MY LAPTOP to have my wee little Christmas child.
I am kind of excited. The hospital food is really good.
Anyhoohoo, hope you all get what you want from Santa. All I want is a healthy kid. Santa, I hope you read Dooce, too. Get on it.
For some reason I never liked Pointsettias either. I think it's the smell. Give me some holiday bamboo instead. Even I can't kill bamboo. Those pointsettias wouldn't last a day in my house.
I think DAZED recommends hemp for everything. Run out of toilet paper? Hemp. Get a flat tire? Hemp. Grandma acting up at family functions? Hemp!
We bought some poinsettias the other day to put in the floor garden, but the interesting trick will be to keep the cats away from it. Lovely though! Hm..hiccups. I get those alot. People are always giving me off-the-wall remedies to get rid of them, and of course..none work. Darn genes!
Colleen from NJ!! How exciting! I'll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way that everything goes well. What a blessing for you and your family.
Dooce, nice picture, as always. But the thumbnail looks like someone's innards. (Yes, I said innards. Yes, I live in small town Texas.)
Oh, and Dazed and Confuzed: "If you got a cat, hemp is the way to go." That's my favorite line of the day (so far).
12.21.04 - 07:14 AM
53. me? I'm a nobody said:
I'm gonna tell you right now, dooce, the reason you're constipated is that you don't eat enough. I can tell that just by looking at you. And when you don't have enough food going through those intestines, you don't poop. And you need to drink lots and lots of water and/or hot chocolate. Give it a try, girl and you're on your way to poop heaven. Take my word.
pretty picture, btw.
12.21.04 - 07:14 AM
54. me? I'm a nobody said:
drat! I was hoping to be first.
12.21.04 - 07:15 AM
55. beachgal said:
Beautiful picture, Dooce.
It's actually a myth that Pointsettias are poisonous to babies and animals...I read, not too long ago, about Christmas myths, and that was one of them.
The critter or child would have to eat a minimum of 50 entire leaves to do even a small bit of harm, and most likely it would just be an upset tummy.
m?ian: Sorry, I misunderstood. I don't see how you can tell from seeing someone's picture here and there that they don't eat enough if by that you did not mean that they are too thin.
Scott: Phish fans love your head, but really, it's the Maroon 5ers that you have to worry the most about. You wouldn't suspect them from the outset, and that's what's so vexing. You're listening and rocking out and the next thing you know, HEAD SNIFFERS! Burnin' down the house! *ding*
When I was, oh, 4 years old, my friend Chelsea and I were sitting at my house playing with our Teddy Ruxpins and we started talking about birthdays:
Me- "My birthday is July 7th!"
Chelsea- "My birthday is April 14th."
Me- "My sister's birthday is January 20th."
Chelsea- "My dad's birthday is in May."
Me- "My dad's birthday is on CHRISTMAS!"
Chelsea- "...so, is your dad Jesus...?
Me- "...uh... MOM! IS DAD JESUS?!?!!"
This conversation took place back before Chelsea and I could comprehend that JUST MAYBE there were more than 365 people in the world, and JUST MAYBE there could be more than one person born on the same day...
When I was about four, a friend of mine was bragging that she was born in January and that she was obviously MUCH COOLER than I was, because she was older.
Girl: You're a loser, I'm older than you.
Me: When's your birthday?
Girl: January 20.
Me: Well that's ok, because you'll just die first.
Whoopsie (#29): I'm a serious, *marathon* hicupper, and I actually learned a trick that works. I promise. Go into a room by yourself, sit down, and concentrate on your breathing. Relax your whole body, especially your belly. It usually takes me about five minutes to get rid of them.
Oh boy. It's advice day. Here's some fresh and home spun from me.
A) Being thin does not mean that you don't eat. I have plenty of very thin friends who eat non stop. Tapeworm maybe?
B) Heather is thin because she contracted cholera from playing around in a septic ditch she mistook as a rain puddle. It manifested itself as a UTI and caused her to lose 64 pounds.
Amanda B: Don't you worry, Phish is done. Scott's hempy harvest has become the latest rage elsewhere. In the meantime, just admire his smoky little head. (aww.)
12.21.04 - 07:52 AM
101. Jenie said:
Long post...sorry in advance!
1. Beautiful pic!
2. My sister and I always talk to each other while in the bathroom. Glad to know we're not so weird!
3. Last night at dinner, I see 3 guys all order caffeine-free drinks and I think to myself--"but she waited a whole 'nother year for caffeine!" and sorta giggle. My husband wants to know what I'm smiling about, so I tell him...he doesn't get it. He's so not cool!
My friend Kelly always calls me when she's in the bathroom, or ends up there at some point during our conversations. It's not a conscious decision she makes, but everytime we're talking, at some point, I'll notice the acoustics on her end change slightly -- "Kelly, are you in the bathroom?"
"*wail* I couldn't help it!!"
not poisonous (unless you eat about 400 of the plants which, I find, is true for hemp too).
and you know this...from experience? ;)
I think it's funny how so many posts here are basically of the same comment -- I'm paranoid about doing that, so I always read through every single comment that's posted by the time I start typing -- and then there are usually, like TEN THOUSAND more comments by the time I post. Can't win.
So SPORTY is smokin hot? This must be the forum for hot people because no one in here is ugly. I mean even George, who leaves strategically placed pre-holiday yule logs, is said to be a "sexy man-beast".
I think it may have to do with the fact Dooce is so cute. She attracts all the disenfranchised models of the world to her site.
Sir Henry: That's not funny. That's not even in the same zipcode as funny.
Sporty: Too....much....stuffing...
12.21.04 - 08:00 AM
111. MrsDoF said:
Hey, Jennay (#79)
I have that whole "God...the Father, God...the Son, God...the Holy Spirit confusion still going on...
12.21.04 - 08:00 AM
112. beachgal said:
Just so people didn't think I was making stuff up about the plant not being poisonous, I found the quiz I took and here's the info:
The rumor that poinsettias* are poisonous was started in 1919 when the 2-year-old child of an Army officer died, and ingestion of poinsettia leaves was assumed to be the cause. This was never proven, and no deaths from poinsettias have been reported since.
A study by Ohio State University and the American Society of Florists fed rats high doses of pulverized poinsettia leaves, which failed to kill them or even cause any side effects. A 50-pound child would have to ingest more than 500 poinsettia leaves to exceed the doses given to the rats. Considering that the leaves have a bitter, unpleasant taste, it's unlikely a small child or pet would eat more than one bite. While it's still not a good idea to eat poinsettias--or any other houseplants, for that matter--the worst that could happen to your child or pet is an upset stomach.
I said 50, instead of 500, tho....hope y'all appreciate the info.
i LOVE them but can't have any real ones since they are deadly to cats. i REALLY wish i could have a bunch around here with foiled bottoms and the whole dealio.
LT - I am glad some part of my body is "all the rage". However, it's made concert going almost impossible. During the slow ballad songs when people raise their lighters skywards I dive for cover like it's a severe weather drill.
I pee on the phone at will. However, I seldom talk on the phone because as I get older doing so makes me feel like I have no personal space. So I just don't answer the phone. Pretty much ever.
My SO always flushes the toilet as he pees so no one will hear it. I find this both charming for the modesty and annoying for the fact that the toilet bowl is always half full of pee when I get there.
I think hiccups, or the prevalence of getting them could have an hereditary component. Will have to look into that.
L.T. I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can..... (yeah, I don't remember the rest)
12.21.04 - 08:11 AM
129. Sheryl said:
Amanda B,
I'm guessing they are trying to get their blogs publicized. Seem to be friends, seems to be planned, 2 of them are getting married.
12.21.04 - 08:12 AM
130. Carol said:
Hi Sherly, Bo Berly! Hi Amanda.
I, too, am having trouble following the comments.... Huh?
BTW, last night at Hubby's lawyer-type party at the boss's mansion, I told said boss I was going to "Kick his ass" in a game of billiards. (!!) Do ya think I should be a wee bit embarrassed?
Message board sounds like a good idea. People can wax rhapsodic about Leta's cheeks, George, etc. Just sayin'. Comments seem to get a bit lengthy in these parts.
Sheryl: Honestly, no. If Dooce wants, she can take my blog name off the url link, and I'll gladly not post it with any future comments of mine. However, good spying, you did figure out the relationships!
'Bug: You are funny. I have to tell my wife not to pee while we're on the phone. Now she blames the boy. HE's THREE AND A HALF WEEKS OLD.
Carol: Did you kick his ass? Cause if you did, its okay.
Amanda: saw your pics, but my e-mail is on the fritz so I can't write back ... perhaps you should see someone about that Gary Busey thing. Captain Kirk I can understand cause like, duh, CAPTAIN KIRK. But Gary Busey??
Fish: You're not allowed to tell your wife not to pee while you're on the phone. Especially if she's home with the guppy. These days, she probably gets to pee twice a day, maybe. If that happens to be while you're on the phone, that's not her fault. You may _nicely_ request that she turn on the faucet to cover the musical stylings, but you may NOT ask her to stop. It's just not right.
Dooce is right, after all. It's just multi-tasking.
Fish, Being busy is a perfectly good explanation for peeing while taking on the phone. Busy taking care of children, even 3 week olds.
I don't pee on the phone (lol LadyBug) when I call someone else, only if they call me. Because, hey, how was I supposed to know they were going to call when my bladder was full?
Carol, I so want to meet the person who can pull off being a smart-ass pool shark and an shameless ass-kisser at the same time.
12.21.04 - 08:26 AM
156. Slim said:
DOOCE: lol...try holding down the mute button when talking to Jon, I feel his pain that is some uncomfortable s**t.
12.21.04 - 08:29 AM
157. Mo said:
and i think i vote George-as-Norm. He seems more Norm-like. (I dunno, i could be wrong...)
12.21.04 - 08:29 AM
158. Danika said:
Perhaps if I ever have a baby I will become comfortable with peeing while on the phone. I just can't seem to do it. I will let the person go (or ask them to hold on) if I have to pee. Even with people that say just go while we talk I can't do it.
Bug & Sheryl: You misunderstand: when I talk to DL and she's peeing, she is saying that it is *Everett* that is doing the peeing, not her. This of course brings up the very funny mental picture of my tiny little boy standing in front of the tooilet on a stool, calmly draining the main vein.
12.21.04 - 08:38 AM
168. Sheryl said:
Fish, lol Everett is hiding his supah powahs from you.
12.21.04 - 08:40 AM
169. Slim said:
Ladybug: no pun was intended, but really sh*t talking is just what we Doocealholics do.
The scene is a dimly lit bar with sports memorabilia adorning its walls. You are a tall, handsome former baseball player and your old third base coach is with you, tending the bar, pouring drinks for a wide array of customers, all of whom find solace in the familiar confines of the bar. A smarmy blonde bombshell that you've been courting bickers relentlessly with a tiny yet monstrously loud lady about films and the burden of children.
Talking the ear off many of your customers sits a postal worker who continues to claim that he, essentially, works for the federal government. Your nerves are wearing thin, but you like what you do, anyway.
Bursting through the entrance, bringing with him a chill from the December Boston air, comes a rather large, boistrous man, who trots over to his usual seat, leaving tracks of snow on his way.
Fish: Perhaps you've underestimated DL's mothering skills. How do you KNOW it's not little Everett doing the peeing. I mean, you _think_ you know, but you don't _know_ you know, you know?
Slim: You're so right. There's gotta be another t-shirt idea in that, but my brain is much to tired to be creative today.
I find it hilarious that men have no problem shoving their FACES all up in our stuff, yet become the delicate flowers that we know THEY ARE NOT when it comes to dealing with the natural order of the female bottom system.
Uhmmmmm...whose the one that farts on your FOOT Dooce?
GAL: Hey, stop hiding, anonymous one. Get a page, post an email address, and then tell me what to do.
12.21.04 - 08:52 AM
184. Hey, it happens said:
Once we were sound asleep, spooning in a sweet, romantic way, when I let one right onto his leg so loud it woke us both up. Luckily he didn't remember in the morning.
Yikes. I honestly and truly wasn't trying to be an ass, in any way, shape, or form.
12.21.04 - 08:59 AM
191. Hey, it happens said:
I know. And I was safe--he didn't remember anything in the morning. Until I couldn't resist and told him all about the hilarious hijinks. He had the grace to laugh. Now there's a gentleman.
I am getting married, but not to Sporty or Sir Henry. They're marrying each other. (I tried to marry the two of them but they wouldn't let me. Something about me eating too many nachos :( )
12.21.04 - 09:02 AM
194. Mo said:
LT:
sometimes you wanna go! Where every...body... (*record scratching noise*)
everybody in the bar turns simultaneously to stare. the whole bar begins to shake, and the regulars begin to rise up in their barstools and glow radioactive from the eyes. They advance menacingly as a rumble bellows from deep beneath the earth. GET GEORGE A BEER FOR GODS SAKE!! GET HIM A BEER!
and you do. and everybody knows your name once again.
1. cindi said:
beautiful!
2. Aleigh said:
Pretty!
3. LT said:
nice!
4. matt said:
reeeed.
5. mvh said:
no way
6. sporty said:
Festive.
7. Clearly said:
First!
8. Sarah said:
Really gets you in the holiday spirit!
9. becca said:
I love this time of year.
10. di said:
cheery!
11. Nicole said:
Very good picture!
12. Aleigh said:
(gulp)
Holy crap, I'm No. 2! Now I totally understand why everyone gets so excited about being a first-ish commenter!
The thrills!
13. dooce said:
today seems to be One Word Comment Day.
14. LT said:
hey sporty!
15. Bluedevil said:
I've never liked pointsettas. They're kind of creepy.
16. jennay said:
I always hated poinsettias until this year when I saw FUSCHIA and SALMON and VIOLET colored ones. Red ones are for grandma's, give me my technicolor beauties!
17. Melissa R. said:
Wonderful
18. Melissa R. said:
Wonderful
19. sporty said:
L.TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
20. Liz said:
Wish I could have those but my cat would make them into kitty food and I think they are not good for her. Woe is me. Beautiful picture though. :)
21. Em said:
Jeeze, you people are fast. It's like your rapid dogs waiting for a bone! :)
Anyway, lovely photo. RED is for the season.
22. Sarah said:
Dooce, people put one word comments in the first several because they are desperately trying to be first.
And as we all KNOW...being first ROCKS. ;-)
This is postcard purty. Did you know that poinsettas are poisonous to cats? Dogs and babies--no problem.
Happy Holidays!
23. Slim said:
Dooce:
I think it's to make up for all the reading you had to do yesterday. But give it time....
24. MrsDoF said:
Golly, that is so gorgeous.
Please tell me you are at a Florist and not someone's personal undertaking, because if it is, I'm so jealous of having that much time and space to garden.
25. kEma said:
This one is smashing....
Or as long as it's One Word Comment Day I had to say:
SMASHING
lol
26. Fish said:
Mmmmm, a nice side of poisonsettia should go well with the paper towel, steak knife and Drano breakfast you're feeding Leta this morning.
27. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Absolutely stunning. And, contrary to popular belief, not poisonous (unless you eat about 400 of the plants which, I find, is true for hemp too).
28. LisaG said:
Wow!
29. Whoopsie said:
I hate to break it to you Dooce, but you CAN inherit the hiccups. My grandfather passed them on to my mom and my mom passed them on to me and now my daughters have the same problem. Any time I take a bite of ANYTHING without a drink, I instantly have the hiccups...gotta love genetics.
30. Melanie S said:
You beat me to it Fish! Booger!
31. Fish said:
Dazed and Confused: Yummy. Salad.
32. Courtney said:
How nice! Reminds me of Southern Christmas' in Germantown, TN.
33. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Just saw Sarah's post. Yep, they be poisonous to cats. So are Philodendrons, Baby's Breath, Iris, Tulips, Easter Lilies and a whole freakin' mess of other plants. If you got a cat, hemp is the way to go.
34. chickenflicken said:
poisonsettia.
hee hee hee hee!
35. Dave M said:
GEORGE!
36. Fish said:
Melanie S: BOOGER?
Oh, dear. So its gonna be one of those days, is it?
37. christy said:
they look sort of fleshy don't they? like the inside of a red bell pepper.
38. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Christy (#37), maybe it's not a good idea to use the word "fleshy" here. Some of us are easily excitable, even at this time of morning.
39. Megan said:
Where's GEORGE?!
George is like the Kramer of dooce.com. Everyone claps when he walks in the room. Hopefully everyone won't get THE clap, but claps nonetheless.
40. Jennifer said:
Beautiful....... merry christmas!!
41. LT said:
Megan, it's more like Norm, unless George also falls down or spills stuff every time he appears.
Sporty, what's for breakfast?
42. sporty said:
L.T. NACHOOOOOOOOS of course. (and maybe some shrimp thumbs)
43. LT said:
(shrimp thumbs are my Wednesday treat, so we're a bit early for that).
Me? NACHO SANDWICH!
44. Dale Cruse said:
Being first means nothing if you don't have anything to say.
45. sporty said:
mmm nacho sandwich with cheese. (don't forget the salsa)
46. Colleen from NJ said:
Hey! I have a great recipe for poisonsettia latte ...
To the Armstrongs, GEORGE, and all Doocelanders, have a wonderful holiday! I am spending the next 5 days in the hospital AWAY FROM MY LAPTOP to have my wee little Christmas child.
I am kind of excited. The hospital food is really good.
Anyhoohoo, hope you all get what you want from Santa. All I want is a healthy kid. Santa, I hope you read Dooce, too. Get on it.
47. Scott said:
For some reason I never liked Pointsettias either. I think it's the smell. Give me some holiday bamboo instead. Even I can't kill bamboo. Those pointsettias wouldn't last a day in my house.
I think DAZED recommends hemp for everything. Run out of toilet paper? Hemp. Get a flat tire? Hemp. Grandma acting up at family functions? Hemp!
48. Maggie said:
We bought some poinsettias the other day to put in the floor garden, but the interesting trick will be to keep the cats away from it. Lovely though! Hm..hiccups. I get those alot. People are always giving me off-the-wall remedies to get rid of them, and of course..none work. Darn genes!
49. LT said:
Christmas children rule. I'm one. :D
Nacho sandwich, cheese, and pickles, too. Oh, what a morning.
50. sporty said:
Wait, since when is Wednesday your shrimp day, I thought it was Tuesday? I didn't get the memo.
51. LT said:
Scott, luckily for you, your head is made of hemp. When in doubt, just light your head on fire and, well, see what happens.
Sporty, I know what you're thinking. I'm just a pair of socks. But GIVE ME A CHANCE!
52. LadyBug said:
Colleen from NJ!! How exciting! I'll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way that everything goes well. What a blessing for you and your family.
Dooce, nice picture, as always. But the thumbnail looks like someone's innards. (Yes, I said innards. Yes, I live in small town Texas.)
Oh, and Dazed and Confuzed: "If you got a cat, hemp is the way to go." That's my favorite line of the day (so far).
53. me? I'm a nobody said:
I'm gonna tell you right now, dooce, the reason you're constipated is that you don't eat enough. I can tell that just by looking at you. And when you don't have enough food going through those intestines, you don't poop. And you need to drink lots and lots of water and/or hot chocolate. Give it a try, girl and you're on your way to poop heaven. Take my word.
pretty picture, btw.
54. me? I'm a nobody said:
drat! I was hoping to be first.
55. beachgal said:
Beautiful picture, Dooce.
It's actually a myth that Pointsettias are poisonous to babies and animals...I read, not too long ago, about Christmas myths, and that was one of them.
The critter or child would have to eat a minimum of 50 entire leaves to do even a small bit of harm, and most likely it would just be an upset tummy.
56. sporty said:
L.T. I wannna cuddle with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... thank ya, thank ya very much.
57. LT said:
Sporty: (bing!) I'm dooooooone!
m?ian: This just in! This just in! Some people in the world are naturally thin. Stop the presses! ;)
58. ginger said:
This is a fabulous picture. For some reason it makes me hungry. Well, everything makes me hungry. They just look yummy.
59. sporty said:
Me? Even when I was anorexic, I still pooped everyday.
L.T. - SERIOUSLY.. Are you even trying??
60. me? I'm a nobody said:
who said anything about weight? one can eat a lot and still be thin.
61. Scott said:
LT - I always wondered why all those Phish fans were following me around staring at my noggin. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.
Nachos sound great.
Good luck with the Xmas baby, Colleen.
62. LT said:
m?ian: Sorry, I misunderstood. I don't see how you can tell from seeing someone's picture here and there that they don't eat enough if by that you did not mean that they are too thin.
Scott: Phish fans love your head, but really, it's the Maroon 5ers that you have to worry the most about. You wouldn't suspect them from the outset, and that's what's so vexing. You're listening and rocking out and the next thing you know, HEAD SNIFFERS! Burnin' down the house! *ding*
Sporty: SCREEEEEEEEEAM
63. JP said:
My husband swears that I passed on my klutziness to my daughters...
Yeah, okay. He wins.
64. Sheryl said:
I think we're parked.
65. LT said:
Sheryl: I think we're alone now.
66. sporty said:
L.T. You think I've been holding up this torch for a hundred years so you can eat nachos on election day? Get out there and vote!
67. LT said:
Sporty: These colors do not run, except when we are late to vote! (gap-teethed smile). (runs in a circle)
68. sporty said:
L.T. Seasons Greetings. (chomp) mmmmm that's good!
69. August95 said:
Ohhh Perdy. Just the thing to get me in the mood for all that family coming over this week
70. Slim said:
Colleen: Happy Delivery! I pray all goes well.
71. LT said:
sporty: Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays to aaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll (melt).
72. LeChico said:
its almost as if my brain wont accept anythg except leta/chuck!
73. sporty said:
L.T. I llooooooooooooove what you've done with your window.
74. shy said:
Touche! The best thinking happens in the bathroom! The toilet is surprisingly the most comfortable seat in the house...hard porcelain, go figure?!
75. LT said:
LeChico: Have you tried Jello?
Sporty: CUT THAT MEAT! CUT THAT MEAT!
76. sporty said:
L.T. We love the suuuuuuuuubs, cause they are gooooooooooooood to us.
77. LT said:
Sporty: The price is wrong.
78. amit said:
quite nice
79. jennay said:
re: Christmas Babies
When I was, oh, 4 years old, my friend Chelsea and I were sitting at my house playing with our Teddy Ruxpins and we started talking about birthdays:
Me- "My birthday is July 7th!"
Chelsea- "My birthday is April 14th."
Me- "My sister's birthday is January 20th."
Chelsea- "My dad's birthday is in May."
Me- "My dad's birthday is on CHRISTMAS!"
Chelsea- "...so, is your dad Jesus...?
Me- "...uh... MOM! IS DAD JESUS?!?!!"
This conversation took place back before Chelsea and I could comprehend that JUST MAYBE there were more than 365 people in the world, and JUST MAYBE there could be more than one person born on the same day...
80. sporty said:
L.T. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH Your booty shivers me timbers.
81. LT said:
When I was about four, a friend of mine was bragging that she was born in January and that she was obviously MUCH COOLER than I was, because she was older.
Girl: You're a loser, I'm older than you.
Me: When's your birthday?
Girl: January 20.
Me: Well that's ok, because you'll just die first.
82. lulu cornichon said:
Whoopsie (#29): I'm a serious, *marathon* hicupper, and I actually learned a trick that works. I promise. Go into a room by yourself, sit down, and concentrate on your breathing. Relax your whole body, especially your belly. It usually takes me about five minutes to get rid of them.
83. LT said:
Sporty: HELLO... I know you're there... I can seeeeeee you!
84. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I'm peeing right now.
(ooh. just got the pee chills.)
85. LeChico said:
phone calls while u pee... *shudders* well.. it could get worse.
leta and peekaboo!! yaay! one more milestone for u dooce. well done!
86. sporty said:
L.T. So, you like the internet huh?
87. Sarah said:
What's the deal, L.T. and Sporty?
Don't have yahoo messenger?
88. LT said:
Sporty: she's kinda, sorta, smokin' hot, yeah.
89. LT said:
Sarah: Perhaps it's that, OR... a conspiracy.
90. sporty said:
L.T. You push my buttons, and I like it!!!
91. LT said:
Sporty: I really am the greatest - EVER! - to play this game!
92. sporty said:
L.T. I hope you're hungry, cause I'm about to take you to lunch *head roll*
93. Amanda B. said:
Ack! No Phish! (not you Fish)
Oh boy. It's advice day. Here's some fresh and home spun from me.
A) Being thin does not mean that you don't eat. I have plenty of very thin friends who eat non stop. Tapeworm maybe?
B) Heather is thin because she contracted cholera from playing around in a septic ditch she mistook as a rain puddle. It manifested itself as a UTI and caused her to lose 64 pounds.
Geez, don't you guys read the archives?
94. sweetney said:
[said in my best mock jacques cousteau voice:] the poinsettia: beautiful, but deadly.
95. LT said:
Sporty: I'm fleeeeeeeeeeexible!
96. sporty said:
L.T. I've gotten better comments from a drunken monkey.
97. The Mighty Jimbo said:
dave stole my comment.
i gotta get up way early on this blog.
98. Carol said:
Colleen - Good luck to you! That's very exciting and a great Christmas present.
I pee in the bathroom all the time when I'm on the phone. I never thought of it as multi-tasking...that makes me feel better.
As for hearing it, I try to talk when I'm going. But I'm sure everyone knows what I'm doing. Expecially when I flush. Gross.
I'm so demure and pretty.
99. Sir Henry said:
Sporty - like the internetwebthingy? LT LOOOOOOOVES the internetwebthingy.
LT - you got nacho cheese on my shrimp thumbs. I hate it when you do that.
100. LT said:
Amanda B: Don't you worry, Phish is done. Scott's hempy harvest has become the latest rage elsewhere. In the meantime, just admire his smoky little head. (aww.)
101. Jenie said:
Long post...sorry in advance!
1. Beautiful pic!
2. My sister and I always talk to each other while in the bathroom. Glad to know we're not so weird!
3. Last night at dinner, I see 3 guys all order caffeine-free drinks and I think to myself--"but she waited a whole 'nother year for caffeine!" and sorta giggle. My husband wants to know what I'm smiling about, so I tell him...he doesn't get it. He's so not cool!
102. red said:
i pee while on the phone, too. i'm so demure. :)
pretty reds today, dooce!
103. dänika said:
My friend Kelly always calls me when she's in the bathroom, or ends up there at some point during our conversations. It's not a conscious decision she makes, but everytime we're talking, at some point, I'll notice the acoustics on her end change slightly -- "Kelly, are you in the bathroom?"
"*wail* I couldn't help it!!"
not poisonous (unless you eat about 400 of the plants which, I find, is true for hemp too).
and you know this...from experience? ;)
I think it's funny how so many posts here are basically of the same comment -- I'm paranoid about doing that, so I always read through every single comment that's posted by the time I start typing -- and then there are usually, like TEN THOUSAND more comments by the time I post. Can't win.
104. Sheryl said:
I get the distinct impression that some Harajuku Girls have been breeding with retarded dogs.
Hi Amanda Bird.
105. LT said:
Sir Henry: (egg splatter!) Heh, heh!
Sporty: \:D/
The Mighty Jimbo: Just how mighty are you, anyway?
106. Sir Henry said:
LT: It is so on. BUZZ!! BUZZ!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
107. sporty said:
L.T. It's ten o'clock, do you know where your brain is?
Sir Henry - It's go time!!
108. Scott said:
So SPORTY is smokin hot? This must be the forum for hot people because no one in here is ugly. I mean even George, who leaves strategically placed pre-holiday yule logs, is said to be a "sexy man-beast".
I think it may have to do with the fact Dooce is so cute. She attracts all the disenfranchised models of the world to her site.
Everybody make your Paris Hilton face now!
109. Sir Henry said:
LT: It has already been brought it. HEEEEEEYAAAAAAAA *nacho ninja style*
110. LT said:
Sir Henry: That's not funny. That's not even in the same zipcode as funny.
Sporty: Too....much....stuffing...
111. MrsDoF said:
Hey, Jennay (#79)
I have that whole "God...the Father, God...the Son, God...the Holy Spirit confusion still going on...
112. beachgal said:
Just so people didn't think I was making stuff up about the plant not being poisonous, I found the quiz I took and here's the info:
The rumor that poinsettias* are poisonous was started in 1919 when the 2-year-old child of an Army officer died, and ingestion of poinsettia leaves was assumed to be the cause. This was never proven, and no deaths from poinsettias have been reported since.
A study by Ohio State University and the American Society of Florists fed rats high doses of pulverized poinsettia leaves, which failed to kill them or even cause any side effects. A 50-pound child would have to ingest more than 500 poinsettia leaves to exceed the doses given to the rats. Considering that the leaves have a bitter, unpleasant taste, it's unlikely a small child or pet would eat more than one bite. While it's still not a good idea to eat poinsettias--or any other houseplants, for that matter--the worst that could happen to your child or pet is an upset stomach.
I said 50, instead of 500, tho....hope y'all appreciate the info.
And here's a link to the quiz itself:
http://encarta.msn.com/quiz_143/Merry_Mythmas_Quiz.html
113. Rosalie said:
i LOVE them but can't have any real ones since they are deadly to cats. i REALLY wish i could have a bunch around here with foiled bottoms and the whole dealio.
114. Sir Henry said:
Scott: Sporty is more than smokin' hot. You melt in her presence.
LT: your nacho cheese has been sunk by my battleship
115. LT said:
Scott: Sporty and I are both smokin' hot. You are too, but mostly because of the fire atop your head. I'm getting stoned just thinking about you.
Sir Henry: Ehhh, uhhh, I um, have to reboot...ehhh, uhh, goodbye?... Ehhh...
116. sporty said:
L.T. - What happened? I've been making a sandwich for the past ten minutes?
117. LT said:
Sporty: One, two, three, four... come on baby, say you love me!... Five, six, seven ti-imes.
118. Scott said:
LT - I am glad some part of my body is "all the rage". However, it's made concert going almost impossible. During the slow ballad songs when people raise their lighters skywards I dive for cover like it's a severe weather drill.
Darn headsniffers.
119. sporty said:
L.T. Who can it be knocking at my door? Go away, don't come round here no more.
120. LT said:
Scott: oh, silly, you know you can just go backstage. With that head of yours, you're a hot commodity, no pun intended.
121. LT said:
Sporty: Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, we all fall down... like toy soldiers.
122. wowkate said:
I know I'm late to the party, but CONGRATS on the New York Times Magazine mention this Sunday!
123. Amanda B. said:
What in the hell are you crazy kids talkin about?
124. Amanda B. said:
P.S. What up Sheryl!
125. Sheryl said:
I pee on the phone at will. However, I seldom talk on the phone because as I get older doing so makes me feel like I have no personal space. So I just don't answer the phone. Pretty much ever.
My SO always flushes the toilet as he pees so no one will hear it. I find this both charming for the modesty and annoying for the fact that the toilet bowl is always half full of pee when I get there.
I think hiccups, or the prevalence of getting them could have an hereditary component. Will have to look into that.
Hi Carol Bo Barol.
126. Ms. Pants said:
Lovely photo, as always, Ms. Dooce.
*wondering: when will people realise this is a comment section and not a message board?*
127. Tracy said:
What fabulous meatsettias!
128. sporty said:
L.T. I wear my sunglasses at night so I can so I can..... (yeah, I don't remember the rest)
129. Sheryl said:
Amanda B,
I'm guessing they are trying to get their blogs publicized. Seem to be friends, seems to be planned, 2 of them are getting married.
130. Carol said:
Hi Sherly, Bo Berly! Hi Amanda.
I, too, am having trouble following the comments.... Huh?
BTW, last night at Hubby's lawyer-type party at the boss's mansion, I told said boss I was going to "Kick his ass" in a game of billiards. (!!) Do ya think I should be a wee bit embarrassed?
131. LadyBug said:
Sheryl: "I pee on the phone at will."
That's pretty, um, _unsanitary_ don't you think?
If I pee while I'm on the phone, I turn the faucet on to mask the noise.
132. Me said:
Actually, I get the feeling they're probably making fun of the people who have conversations in this area every day.
133. Trance said:
Message board sounds like a good idea. People can wax rhapsodic about Leta's cheeks, George, etc. Just sayin'. Comments seem to get a bit lengthy in these parts.
134. JulieT said:
If you start referring to your husband by the DOG's name, well, then I'll worry.
135. sporty said:
Me. - I love you.
136. Me said:
"Comments seem to get a bit lengthy in these parts."
Not to mention sucking up bandwidth on someone else's site.
137. LT said:
Sheryl: Honestly, no. If Dooce wants, she can take my blog name off the url link, and I'll gladly not post it with any future comments of mine. However, good spying, you did figure out the relationships!
138. LadyBug said:
JulieT has a point. You sure don't want to moan, "Ooooh, Chuck!" during the, er, _procedure._
139. LT said:
Me: Bingo.
We were wondering how long it would take.
140. Sarah said:
Heather may need a good colon blow, as her husband has so aptly dubbed it.
141. Sir Henry said:
I call shenanegans! If I wanted my blog publicized, I would sign up with blog explosion! :D
142. LT said:
Sir Henry: Explode *this*.
143. Fish said:
'Bug: You are funny. I have to tell my wife not to pee while we're on the phone. Now she blames the boy. HE's THREE AND A HALF WEEKS OLD.
Carol: Did you kick his ass? Cause if you did, its okay.
Amanda: saw your pics, but my e-mail is on the fritz so I can't write back ... perhaps you should see someone about that Gary Busey thing. Captain Kirk I can understand cause like, duh, CAPTAIN KIRK. But Gary Busey??
144. sporty said:
Sir Henry - I think you get like, a whole 10 extra comments a month with blog explosion, it's so worth it.
145. Sir Henry said:
SWEEET! The world will be mine then! Thank you, Sporty. You will always be my princess.
146. LeChico said:
what's everyone's take on eloping to hawaii i a MONTH?
147. sporty said:
Sir Henry, it's your evil plan to conquer blog domination isn't it? Blog Explosion [makes explosion in her pants]
148. Carol said:
Fish - I was about to, but then decided that I'd better not. I'm a shameless ass-kisser.
149. Sir Henry said:
LeChico: I would like to know what your take is on eloping to Hawaii in a month...
BTW, nacho cheese for all in the break room.
150. LT said:
Sir Henry: I do love nachos; yes, yes I do!
151. Mo said:
Effulgent.
152. sporty said:
Gee, how coincidental, eloping to Hawaii in a month. :/
Did someone say Nachos?
153. LadyBug said:
Fish: You're not allowed to tell your wife not to pee while you're on the phone. Especially if she's home with the guppy. These days, she probably gets to pee twice a day, maybe. If that happens to be while you're on the phone, that's not her fault. You may _nicely_ request that she turn on the faucet to cover the musical stylings, but you may NOT ask her to stop. It's just not right.
Dooce is right, after all. It's just multi-tasking.
154. LT said:
Mo: it's not all that bright, really.
155. Sheryl said:
Fish, Being busy is a perfectly good explanation for peeing while taking on the phone. Busy taking care of children, even 3 week olds.
I don't pee on the phone (lol LadyBug) when I call someone else, only if they call me. Because, hey, how was I supposed to know they were going to call when my bladder was full?
Carol, I so want to meet the person who can pull off being a smart-ass pool shark and an shameless ass-kisser at the same time.
156. Slim said:
DOOCE: lol...try holding down the mute button when talking to Jon, I feel his pain that is some uncomfortable s**t.
157. Mo said:
and i think i vote George-as-Norm. He seems more Norm-like. (I dunno, i could be wrong...)
158. Danika said:
Perhaps if I ever have a baby I will become comfortable with peeing while on the phone. I just can't seem to do it. I will let the person go (or ask them to hold on) if I have to pee. Even with people that say just go while we talk I can't do it.
Lovely pic!
159. LT said:
Mo: we need to give him a beer. Then we'll know for sure.
160. LadyBug said:
Slim said at 09:29AM, 12.21.2004:
DOOCE: lol…try holding down the mute button when talking to Jon, I feel his pain that is some uncomfortable s**t.
Uncomfortable shit......it always comes back to constipation here, doesn't it?
161. Mo said:
it is toooooo bright.
bright red.
see?!?!
162. Mo said:
LT: Will an Egg Nog Latte do?
163. Sir Henry said:
[cartman]I f**kin' hate eggnod, seriously[/cartman]
164. George Lover said:
Dooce: I think the fact that you pee while talking on the phone is just further proof of your A in sanity.
Best post of the day?: "uh, MOM IS DAD JESUS?"
Cracks me up.
165. honestyrain said:
those are old lady flowers
166. sporty said:
Sir Henry - Gramma got a swiss colony beeflog juuuuuuuust for me!
167. Fish said:
Bug & Sheryl: You misunderstand: when I talk to DL and she's peeing, she is saying that it is *Everett* that is doing the peeing, not her. This of course brings up the very funny mental picture of my tiny little boy standing in front of the tooilet on a stool, calmly draining the main vein.
168. Sheryl said:
Fish, lol Everett is hiding his supah powahs from you.
169. Slim said:
Ladybug: no pun was intended, but really sh*t talking is just what we Doocealholics do.
170. LT said:
Mo: You tell me.
The scene is a dimly lit bar with sports memorabilia adorning its walls. You are a tall, handsome former baseball player and your old third base coach is with you, tending the bar, pouring drinks for a wide array of customers, all of whom find solace in the familiar confines of the bar. A smarmy blonde bombshell that you've been courting bickers relentlessly with a tiny yet monstrously loud lady about films and the burden of children.
Talking the ear off many of your customers sits a postal worker who continues to claim that he, essentially, works for the federal government. Your nerves are wearing thin, but you like what you do, anyway.
Bursting through the entrance, bringing with him a chill from the December Boston air, comes a rather large, boistrous man, who trots over to his usual seat, leaving tracks of snow on his way.
You hand him an egg nog latte.
What happens now?
171. Rebekah said:
eddo- when you read these comments you will laugh-
Is it OK to bring you laptop with you in the bathroom?
172. George Lover said:
Colleen: Forgot to wish you the best on the holiday delivery!
173. closet metrosexual said:
I'm with Jon, Danika, LeChico, Slim, and Fish - peeing while on the phone is wrong. Keep the cordless phone out of the bathroom, or it'll get poopy.
174. LadyBug said:
Fish: Perhaps you've underestimated DL's mothering skills. How do you KNOW it's not little Everett doing the peeing. I mean, you _think_ you know, but you don't _know_ you know, you know?
Slim: You're so right. There's gotta be another t-shirt idea in that, but my brain is much to tired to be creative today.
175. sporty said:
L.T. I don't even know who you are anymore. Egg nog? EGG NOG? Not you L.T. Not youuuuuuuu.
176. Moxie said:
I find it hilarious that men have no problem shoving their FACES all up in our stuff, yet become the delicate flowers that we know THEY ARE NOT when it comes to dealing with the natural order of the female bottom system.
Uhmmmmm...whose the one that farts on your FOOT Dooce?
177. LadyBug said:
Crap. Make that "much TOO tired."
See? I told you.
178. LT said:
LadyBug, here, have a banana.
179. LT said:
Sporty: take a look at me nooooooooow, I'm just a nacho-head.
180. Sheryl said:
Moxie, you are so right. Farting on foot completely cancels out peeing sounds wafting through the phone lines.
181. It's getting old. said:
ok. We get it now. You guys are so funny. Now run along and get a life. Please.
182. sporty said:
L.T. You coming back to me, is against all odds...
183. LT said:
GAL: Hey, stop hiding, anonymous one. Get a page, post an email address, and then tell me what to do.
184. Hey, it happens said:
Once we were sound asleep, spooning in a sweet, romantic way, when I let one right onto his leg so loud it woke us both up. Luckily he didn't remember in the morning.
Not my most feminine moment.
185. sporty said:
How ironic.
186. It's getting old said:
disneyland@gmail.com
187. closet metrosexual said:
Hey, it happens - I can't decide if that's grounds for divorce or a high five.
188. Amanda B. said:
Fish- I don't like Gary Busey like *that*.
Howdy Carol, Hey Moxiepoo!
I love it when people come on here and act like asses. It only makes the day sweeter.
189. taryn said:
Dooce in the New York Times Magazine - two of my favorite things, together! Bliss!
Colleen from NJ, I wish you the best with your labor & delivery!
190. LT said:
Yikes. I honestly and truly wasn't trying to be an ass, in any way, shape, or form.
191. Hey, it happens said:
I know. And I was safe--he didn't remember anything in the morning. Until I couldn't resist and told him all about the hilarious hijinks. He had the grace to laugh. Now there's a gentleman.
192. Amanda B. said:
K, then howdy LT! How goes it? Are you the one getting married?
193. LT said:
I am getting married, but not to Sporty or Sir Henry. They're marrying each other. (I tried to marry the two of them but they wouldn't let me. Something about me eating too many nachos :( )
194. Mo said:
LT:
sometimes you wanna go! Where every...body... (*record scratching noise*)
everybody in the bar turns simultaneously to stare. the whole bar begins to shake, and the regulars begin to rise up in their barstools and glow radioactive from the eyes. They advance menacingly as a rumble bellows from deep beneath the earth. GET GEORGE A BEER FOR GODS SAKE!! GET HIM A BEER!
and you do. and everybody knows your name once again.
195. Sheryl said:
A rose is a rose is a rose.
196. sporty said:
L.T. Yes, your nacho habit is getting to be too much. We were planning on having an intervention.
197. LT said:
Sporty: I'm afraid that you're going to be interfering while everyone else is intervening.
Mo: Getting a fellow a beer in Utah is tough, but it's been done, with miraculous results.
198. sporty said:
L.T. This is only for your own good. Step away from the nachos.
199. sporty said:
Aren't we precious and funny? Frat boys beeeeware!
200. sporty said:
Way to try to use my name and comment.
201. LT said:
Frat boys! My goodness. It's been a long time since I've been in college!
Mo understands my humor, at least. (hands Mo a beer.)
202. sporty said:
LT You have a sense of humor? Do you have bread?
203. LT said:
Sporty: Wait a moment. Do you guys sell bread here? How many different kinds?
204. sporty said:
LT. 45 different kinds, and, we have fruit cups.
205. sportyspice said:
I guess I see their point since we show no intrest whatsoever in this website or its commenters.
We suck!
206. the niffer said:
Good luck Colleen from NJ!
Closet Metrosexual: I think as long as you don't wipe your ass with it, the phone shouldn't get poopy.