Egg Nog Latte
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Jenie said:
GEORGE!!!
2. Carrs said:
how 'bout a pic of the tree?
3. lulu cornichon said:
Is that George?
No...
Yes?
George!!!
4. Sara said:
FIRST!!!
5. Jenie said:
and oh my god...i can die a happy woman...I'm first!
6. Fish said:
Looks like George has had a few too many egg nog lattes.
7. Amanda said:
Quite the perspective - I love it!
8. preciousflower said:
nice.
9. contessa said:
woot! George!
10. kEma said:
heheh That's hilarious.
Repeat after Dooce, G E O R G E !
11. preciousflower said:
Latte schmatte
12. Melissa said:
Tis George! And what is with all this competiton to be first? Aren't we just supposed to enjoy the great pics?
13. R said:
three jeers for the latte...and George
14. lulu cornichon said:
jeer at latte all ya want, but lay off George. He's a cupcake.
15. Red said:
He is too cute
16. Eric said:
I can hear Leta now. . .
17. Jenie said:
I was just being a smart*ss about being first...lol
18. Circus Kelli said:
Dooce! I am so addicted to your daily photos... God help me if you ever stop doing them... I might actually have to WORK when I get to work in the mornings! :)
Have a great day!
19. Leah said:
All I can say is, you people are fast. Merry Dec. 16!
20. Eric said:
Speaking of eggnog, try this delicious "Southern Eggnog" (handle). It never fails to light up a room,
21. Kathy said:
ZzZzzZzz -- Hey George, "WAKE UP!"
22. Rebekah said:
Oh George... you are loved be so many strangers.
23. Molly said:
great shot! :)
24. Deenzadrine said:
A whole latte GEORGE!
har har har... ;-)
25. CeeCee said:
My husband and I got a D70 because of you. Our lives are forever changed. *sniff* It's a beautiful thing ;)
26. Fish said:
Lulu: I'm not sure George would want to be called a "cupcake," even though you meant it in an endearing way. From what he left in the Armstrong's lavatory the other day, he don't sound like no cupcake to me.
I hear cupcakes go pretty good with egg nog lattes. Does the Blue Plate have cupcakes, too, Dooce?
27. Sarah said:
Is that the head of Elvis up on the shelf??
Very animated shot...for me it captures the feel of being in a cafe.
Oh, and
GEORGE!!!
28. Colleen from NJ said:
Only two bucks for an Egg Nog Latte? I need to get out of NJ.
Egg Nog Lattes and George... perfect together.
29. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Looks like ol' George is about to puke from the thought of eggnog latte. . .I know the thought makes me kinda queasy!
Jesus tapdancin' Christ, people, why do you wanna go messin' with a perfectly good cup of black coffee?
30. LT said:
people drink coffee in Utah? ;)
31. Anne said:
George, do you make this many people's nipples hard in real life?
32. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
That place is filthy! George, pick up the ShopVac and get rid of some of that clutter.
33. Katie said:
Yeah, Colleen (28), like you said. Starbucks is what, $6? But I wanted to note that GEORGE, like scrumptious bearded Jon, is scrumptiously bearded. What's up with the Utah men and their fine facial hair? Is this ANOTHER reason to get out of New York? (I think I'm on metrosexual overload round here...)
34. Becca said:
Mhmmmm
35. Stephanie said:
You people love you some George.
I am sure George loves you too.
36. jules said:
egg nog. yum.
(:3
37. red said:
GEORGE!!
38. Eric said:
Re: comment 27. I believe that bust is of Orrin Hatch.
39. emily said:
JORGE!!!
40. Lisa said:
You need t-shirts that just say "GEORGE!" and then we could recognize each other in public. Only we would know what it means. It could be like our version of garments.
T-shirt my Dad used to have "Utah: If you think our liquor laws are funny, you should see our underwear."
41. ereed said:
im gonna second the whole GEORGE! tee shirt idea. oh oh oh can we get a OF FRANCE! one too?
42. Lindsey said:
George is the man! Even he knows that the Egg Nog Latte's kick ass :)
43. Colleen from NJ said:
Carol,
sorry, went to bed last night and didn't see your post...
re: Carol's hubby wants a third:
I'm still incubating, but this much I know: running after 4 and 2 year-olds with nausea, heartburn, backache, belly, plus they don't understand "I need to sit for 5 minutes"...
The pregnancy? definitely tougher, albeit temporary (sure doesn't feel like it, tho). To have the three of them? I'll let you know in 2 weeks, when I will (reluctantly) be discharged from the hospital.
But, the sick side of me that wants you to join me, come on, all the cool moms do it...says,
Carol,
44. Chessy said:
*sigh*
Now I want coffee. Thanks for the shot. I have missed going out and now I can pretend that I have. (Yeah, that is a bit nuts, but that is where I am in life these days.)
45. Colleen from NJ said:
DO IT.
sorry for long post, people.
46. Kieran said:
Egg Nog Latte? I would rather drink second had piss
47. Sherri said:
Mmmmm...egg nog latte.
Wake up, George. WAKE UP! There's egg nog latte to be had. WAKE UP!
poke...poke
48. Colleen from NJ said:
Katie, lol, "metrosexual overload". Something about hairy men in the west.
Hey! time for a ROAD TRIP! I'll meet you at the Vince Lombardi stop on the NJ turnpike and we can get us some cheap latte, good skiing, and scrumptious bearded men.
Crap, I'm married.
49. abc said:
is that where leta gets her cheeks?
50. jennay said:
Egg Nog latte doesn't sound very good.
Pumpkin Spice latte is very bad. It's like slurping a melted pie.
51. becky said:
great, now i need coffee.
52. August95 said:
I may have to drive thru the starbucks today after seeing that.
53. Alison said:
Re: Lisa's comment on GEORGE! t-shirts.
I WOULD TOTALLY BUY ONE. And wear it, like, everyday. Cafepress, maybe? Even cooler would be Neighborhoodies, but they are more of a one-on-one kinda order. Yeah, Cafepress steals your copyright (or do they?), but it would just be text, so who cares? GEORGE!
54. Em said:
Gingerbread lattes are the new crack. You heard it here first!
55. tabby said:
I love eggnog latte season!
56. Karen Rani said:
I love this picture - it's so amazing! I can hear the clinking of silverware on plates covered with runny egg and toast crumbs.....diner style.....
Hugs,
Karen
57. RazDreams said:
It's 12:16pm...do you know where your GEORGE is???
58. al said:
Heather what do your husband (john) and George do? Any answers for a newbie.
59. al said:
Their occcupations, that which they do to provide income.
60. Dyanna said:
Tis the season to be Georgie, fa-la-la-la-laaaa lalalalaaaaaa!
Actually, the tshirt idea would be off the hook! Just think:
1. "GEORGE!!" (maybe 2 versions, one with a picture, one without)
2. "OF FRANCE!"
3. (paraphrasing) "Who uses five exclamation points anyway?"
4. And, of course, any of the saying on the mastheads WITH graphic.
Heather, you could sell them for saaay, $15 a piece, if you bought in bulk you could make at least $8 profit per shirt and it could pay for the website.
Oh, and dont forget to copyright everything. :-)
61. Dyanna said:
Fish, you're a lawyer, what say you?
62. ehle said:
Remember: Everytime you spot GEORGE!, you must shout "GEORGE!" and take a shot.
Last person standing is the winner.
(Oh, and Egg Nog Latte? Ick.)
63. Lisa said:
I want a free one because it was my idea. But I would shell out the $15 for OF FRANCE because I didn't think of that.
Gingerbread lattes, mmmmm. Anyone know where I can get one for $2?
64. JulieT said:
Is GEORGE! sleeping or thinking about eggnog lattes?
65. wealhtheow said:
The eggnog latte, she is a beautiful thing! And to all the other ubergeek/music snobs out there, Happy Beethoven's Birthday!
66. lulu cornichon said:
Leddeez and gennemen, it's shameless plug time:
Dooce, if you do make shirts (do it! do it!), I really recommend American Apparel. They make really nice t-shirts (not all baggy and dopey) in good colors, you can get them wholesale, and they have excellent labor practices (no sweatshops, made in LA).
(I am not now, and never have been, a member of their PR department)
67. Erin said:
Bucky - "black coffee" - preach brother! Have you heard Dennis Leary's bit about "coffee flavored coffee". Classic.
I would most certainly buy a "Chuck '08" tee shirt.
68. Wilma said:
I totally want a GEORGE T-shirt. I totally want George, too.
69. JulieT said:
More T-shirt ideas (which I would also buy) include:
yesterday's post about Beth's pictures: DOOCE... with friends like me, who needs idiots?
or
DOOCE... usually NOT wearing pink.
or
GEORGE!... always carrying the heavy stuff.
We'd definitely recognize one another in public.
70. mari said:
George! looks awfully lethargic for 12:15 in the afternoon (note clock in the background). Surely someone is not suffering from a hangover?!
71. Dyanna said:
Oh man, this SOOOO has to get done. I NEED a tshirt. Juliet T, good idea about the 'friends' shirt. I'd wear that one too. And totally random but when I have a child and its a girl I want to name it Juliet. :-D
72. Kano said:
Good Gawd! some of you really need a life. It scares me to think that we share that same planet.
73. Girl.A said:
Egg Nog, Smegma Log.
I hate egg nog.
It's gross, people. I advise you not to look.
74. Claude said:
Egg Nog Latte? Not doing it for me. But then again, I'm a tea drinker.
I have a bitchin' recipe for something called Baltimore Egg Nog, however. When I do a holiday party, the punch bowl is invariably drained of the stuff.
75. Amber said:
GEORGE!
76. mr nice guy said:
ugh. office party last night. too ... much ... egg noggghhh ... blurgh.
77. Paige said:
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Not because of George.
78. The Mighty Jimbo said:
OMG!!!
I'm first!!!
what?
all the cool kids were doing it.
79. Dyanna said:
Kano some of us have boring jobs on the east coast where it's 11am... Chill the fuck out and enjoy the banter.
80. Kimberly said:
Hey Heather-
I have been following your site for quite some time. I check it a couple times a day for new entries and stuff- you are absolutely hilarious!
I have never written anything on here before, but I figured it was time since I have now had TWO dreams in which you are the main event.
The first was I won a conest on the radio where the prize was getting to spend time at the Crib of Heather Armstrong...and in the dream I went to your place and had you sign an insane amounts of posters and t-shirts. Then last night, I dreamed that we lived next to each other and you saved the nieghborhood from being burned to the ground or something.
So anyways, I guess this is my subconscience telling me to tell you that I read your site and you are amazing.
I was actually in Utah last week too- and I was tempted to find ya. See the real deal...
okay that sounded oh so stalkerish and I promise I am not that stakerish.
81. Girl From Ipanema said:
Great Shot!!! Plus it has GEORGE!!!
82. Bob said:
George,
Is still a TURD in my book.
TheGOAT
83. closet metrosexual said:
In honor of Katie and Colleen from NJ, I will not shave today. (OK, I wasn't going to anyway, but I'll let them share in the credit for my laziness.)
I want a "Re-elect Former Congressman Henry "Buck" Chucklesworth" T-shirt with the "Sigh. Life, life is hard" picture on it. Please???
84. ab said:
I think Leta's first word should be GEORGE!!!
85. Queen Latifah said:
I wish for you to bring me to, bring me to the rhythm
Of which is now systematically given
Desperately stressing I'm the daughter of a sister
Who's the mother of a brother who's the brother of another
Plus one more; all four
Have a job to do, we doing it
Respect due, to the mother who's the root of it
And next up is me, the M-O-N-I-E L-O-V-E
And I'm first cause I'm a L-A-D-I-E
86. kristine said:
http://meganslaw.ca.gov/
There are so many parents on this list, I just wanted to post the website for Megan's Law. The website is SUPER busy, but it's up and running.
It's sad when I can locate more of my school mates on this list than on Classmates.com !!!!
It was an eye opener for me. I thought my zip code was fairly safe. I was wrong.
87. Tracy said:
I think it's safe to say that George has a posse.
Is that the Blue Plate Diner? Regardless, it looks like a great hangout.
88. Kano said:
Geeze! Dyanna...How did you know that I was referring to you? Now get back to watching Judge Joe Brown and drinking your 6 Dollar heated shake with Egg nog in it...That is the same as a 6 dollar latte isn't it? Some of us have boring jobs here too....but still choose to live in the real world.
89. Becka said:
I wanna GEORGE!
90. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said:
The magnificent bastard strikes again!
Looks like he's reading a menu. What did he decide on? He looks like a flapjacks and hash type of man.
91. maxigumee said:
I got the eggnog latte from Starbucks. WORST. DRINK. EVER. It tasted like coffee mixed with cheese mixed with poo mixed with some sort of cleaning fluid. Not pleasant.
92. chickenflicken said:
My god, somebody get me a cupcake, STAT.
I'd buy a dooce-inspired shirt...maybe not George, though, because someone might think it's for DUBYA. Bleh.
93. Shiz said:
I want to go there and get a latté because it looks so darn cool.
Mmmmmm ... Geooooorge.
94. shy said:
egg nog latte. yummy. another weakness of mine around this time of year is ginger bread latte. double yummy.
95. Sue From Ohio said:
GORGEOUS GEORGE!
96. Nancy said:
*frowns* I want more baby photos/doggy photos...PLEASE??
97. Amandelin said:
This photograph looks like an indie movie. It moves me.
And stuff.
98. Bubbles said:
All I want for Christmas is a George T-shirt, a George T-shirt, a George T-shirt; all I want for Christmas.....
99. The Diminishing Returns of Responding to Snide Remarks said:
"For you suffer fools gladly, seeing yourself as wise"
100. kristine said:
OH GOD! the Egg Nog Latte from Starbucks...how in the hell did they manage to duplicate the taste of vomit?
Gingerbread Latte....now that is heaven.
101. KellyH said:
GEORGE!
Speaking of t-shirts, where are our Dooce t-shirts, Heather? Huh? Huh?
102. JulieT said:
Thanks Dyanna! I like my name too. Another shirt...
DOOCE... Decidedly NOT Republican.
103. LadyBug said:
I want a t-shirt for my baby...
"Sockless Babies Unite!"
104. gardens grey said:
That sounds really gross to me.
105. the niffer said:
I'd buy a GEORGE! t-shirt. And ANYTHING with Chuck on it. Lulu - I've heard great things about American Apparel.
106. Laura said:
Can everyone just shut the fuck up about being first already? If you feel it's absolutely necessary, at least post a REAL COMMENT afterward. That's what this section is for, after all.
107. Leslie said:
Marti, I'm not sure how you could bring up the scathing story and then refuse to tell it.
108. Sarah said:
Wow. Laura, why don't you and Kano go hang out together?
109. coskel said:
Amandelin said at 09:58AM, 12.16.2004:
This photograph looks like an indie movie. It moves me.
And stuff.
I agree - GEORGE! could easily start in a Kevin Smith flick, and I also think kano should chill the fuck out, and we all should raise a glass of eggnog latte or our fave beverage in honor of Dooce, who keeps us all entertained. I think she should write the book AND do the clothing line.
110. Jamie said:
George! has the coolest glasses ever. Thanks for sharing your life with us Dooce..
[Can everyone just shut the fuck up about being first already? If you feel it’s absolutely necessary, at least post a REAL COMMENT afterward. That’s what this section is for, after all]
Mr friends Pot and Kettle would like to introduce themselves to you... "Hi, Laura!"
111. tangoali said:
George- WILL YOU MARRY ME?
112. Marti said:
I taunt.
113. Sheryl said:
I fart in your general direction.
114. closet metrosexual said:
C'mon Marti, share.
115. Thalia said:
MMm eggnog lattes = awesomest.
116. Tracy said:
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.
117. Sheryl said:
I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!
118. Chessy said:
All of this t-shirt talk reminded me of what I saw in Hot Topic over the weekend. (I was shopping for a teen sister-in-law.) They have shirts that say, "Now with more cowbell" and a picture of a (of course) cowbell on it. I am sure that it is directly related to the SNL skit, but it was hard to explain my joy to my mother-in-law who is Dooce-less and had never seen the skit.
119. beastlysum said:
har har har--i love monty python--
sing the "good morning sunshine" song, george--sing it!
120. PoeticaL said:
I vote for a photo of George holding Leta, petting Chuck and mopping up dorito crumbs annnnd giving Jon a high five all at once....then the crowd might flip a lid!!
121. Sheryl said:
Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time - ha! *sniff*
122. PoeticaL said:
while Dooce sits in a chair drinking tequilia from a glass with an umbrella.....that'd be photo genius for sure...call Beth...tell her to take the photo...QUICK!
123. Carol said:
You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
124. Chloe (is here) said:
George!
Oh yeah?
Well, your mother was a 15 year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet! (Is "Chloe with webbed feet" a weird name, or is it just me?
(My apologies to Dr. Evil.)
What promted the insult comments, anyway?
Incidentally, if there were to be an 'of France' tee-shirt, it should definitely have 4 exclamation points. I'm just sayin'!!!!
I've never had egg nog. I don't think the idea of an egg nog latte is likely to change my mind. SO... MANY... KNICK KNACKS!
125. Leon as Dave Atell said:
"You know what I don't like, Eggnog! Who thought this up? You know, I'm thirsty, but I'd also like some pancakes"
Eggnog is just wrong. Nasty Wrong. Shoe on the wrong foot wrong.
126. Sheryl said:
Carol, Fetchez the cow!
127. Carol said:
Sheryl -
We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm.
128. closet metrosexual said:
Chloe (is here) - I think it was Marti's "I taunt"
"Taunt" is a trigger word for us Python freaks. The whole damn Grail movie is playing back in my head right now. "It's only a model."
129. Carol said:
The insults are from a movie. So, they aren't really insults.
Would love a t-shirt!!! Yes, some kind of Dooce t-shirt. Of France!!! would be perfect, but it's already a republican t-shirt. ; )
I like the sockless babies unite one... or stagediver or I'm first! or ...well... Dooce can come with something. They would sell like the proverbial hotcake.
130. girl in sf said:
sitting here with my coffee and reading dooce. this is now my favorite thing to do when i get to work. thanks.
ps. GEORGE!
131. Melissa said:
Can we discuss how absolutely sexy George looks in that shot?
I just want to bite him! MMM MMM MAN!
132. Girl.A said:
Vagina Dentata. Run, George, Run.
133. ella's ma said:
I just want to give that man a big hug.
134. closet metrosexual said:
Nice link, Girl.A. You frighten me.
135. Sheryl said:
You frighten me, in a good way.
136. KC said:
Oh to live in a country that knows and understands how valuable a latte is much less an egg nog latte! I miss Starbuck's being within walking distance and the menu in English.
137. Sheryl (98/306) said:
Yay!!! I'm First!!! Woo hoo!!! I rock!!! And oh yeah, nice pic.
138. Carol said:
I'm frightened.
And so is my 3 year old.
: )
139. Sarcastic Journalist said:
the fact that he left you a turd and then you go to get egg nog lattes? that's the power of family.
140. Kieran said:
Ok I know I have a penis therefore I do not understand anything but how is George sexy? Ok I can see adorable, cuddley, and even huggable but sexy? I mean I aint gay but I dont see it.
141. Circus Kelli said:
On the subject of T-Shirts and Monty Python:
This catalog has a bunch of funny t-shirts and amusing gifts, including some http://www.whatonearthcatalog.com/whatonearth/Themes_300/Classic-Characters_3AF/Page_2_pos_24.html" target="new">Monty Python stuff.
Reading the above comments reminding me of the catalog.
142. Jodobird said:
I miss Blue Plate Diner. It's one thing I couldn't pack with me when I moved.....
143. Circus Kelli said:
Yeah, ok... so I can be an idiot when it comes to simple LINKS sometimes... sheesh...
If you're interested, click the link above for the catalog I mentioned.
144. Kano said:
The clothing Spiel! As long as you are talking about making some T-shirts.....You can make some Gymbags too.
Put Dooce on the side of it and you can all own a Doocebag!
145. DeAnn said:
Ooh, George all blurry!!
I love it!
146. Sheryl said:
I'd like some flushable wipes with a Dooce monogram on them. With a Tequila scent, would be great.
147. Fish said:
Girl A: Where to go for bizarre links.
Carol: I don't know for sure, but I don't think you should be letting your three year old look at Girl A's link.
148. Colleen from NJ said:
Say no more.
149. Tracy said:
Circus Kelli, that's a very cool website - thanks for the link!
150. Fish said:
Sheryl: then the masthead could be:
"Dooce: Keeping your ass Cuervo-Fresh since 2001."
151. Fish said:
My favoritest Holy Grail Scene Ever:
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,
cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's
a killer!
???: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
???: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You manky Scot's git!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the
bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin'
right up!
TIM: Look!
[squeak]
BORIS: Aaaugh!
152. matt said:
that is a stellar masthead idea! the amusement i get from this site is unreal. thanks dooce!
(and i too am waiting for the shirts, for real)
153. Gooooder said:
shirt that says:
GEORGE!
or DOOCE!
anything with an exclamation mark really.
154. Tracy said:
I WARNED you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you know, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little BUNNY, isn't it?
/last Python reference, honest
155. Sarah said:
Thank you to all who contributed Monty Python quotes today...I LOVE Monty Python. Now I KNOW that the other girls on here are dorks, too. I feel so at home here!
Girls who like The Three Stooges, raise your hands!
In my regular life, I've found that typically Monty Python and Three Stooges, among other things...Benny Hill (that was mentioned here not long ago), are things only guys think are funny.
Girl geeks rule.
156. Carol said:
Fish - i usually don't let my 3 year old look at vagina teeth, but wasn't quite expecting THAT and he just walked by at the exact moment.
I'm a horrible horrible mother.
How is the rash?
157. MrsDoF said:
Giving a hint for my age here, but I have such a fond memory for egg nog.
The first time I was allowed to use the mixer, maybe age 10, was to make egg nog. With eggs from my Pappap's chicken house and milk brought to the back door by the milkman. Separate the eggs, beat the yolks with milk and sugar, whip the whites to make the foam.
The recipe isn't written down anywhere, but let me tell ya, the Starbucks version just ain't right. Maybe GEORGE! can find out for us if this diner has one that can pass.
158. Dara said:
is that really george?
and oh my goodness lots of firsts! lol!
159. George Lover said:
Ok, to avoid the misunderstanding, maybe the shirts could say "The REAL George". And I would pay $25, easily.
And, I don't know, maybe a shirt that says "I'm first". We'd really know each other then.
160. Sheryl said:
It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
161. George Lover said:
And, uh, didn't we see a recent picture of a clean shaven GEORGE! at Thanksgiving. god, man, how quickly do you grow that facial hair?!
An alternative T-shirt saying "All George, all the time"
162. Dyanna said:
For all the Eastern Python fans, they're making a BROADWAY musical based on Holy Grail called SPAMALOT starring David Hyde Pierce and Hank Azaria written by Eric Idle and Co.!
http://search.telecharge.com/document.aspx?id=23726&doc=3&sort=8
163. Marti said:
I feel so foolish. Where can I find girl a's link?
164. Carol said:
Marti - I don't think you really want to look, but it's #132.
Sheryl... but this one goes to 11.
165. Carol said:
"I find that D Minor is the saddest of all keys."
It's beautiful... what's it called?
"Lick My Love Pump."
Oh and just so that I'm not too off topic...Dooce - how do you focus on the background and not the foreground?
166. kristine said:
I have a red vs blue shirt from before they got popular (even before I actually PLAYED Halo) and a shirt from tshirthell.com before Britney started wearing them. How about a line of shirts, "Dooce- The Tour" and have all the mastheads going back.
or a black tshirt that says, "I dooce daily"
God, that sounds so gross.
167. Sheryl said:
I'm sure I'd be more upset if I weren't quite so heavily sedated.
168. Fish said:
Carol: er...the rash is good.
*Fish mutters, red-faced*
169. George Lover said:
"How often do you Dooce?"
170. Leslie said:
Click on her name on the 11:19 post you taunter.
171. Circus Kelli said:
Tracy -- you are most welcome.
172. Girl.A said:
Marti click on me name.
173. vgmom said:
first???
174. Carol said:
She should be made to smell the glove.
Fish - so glad you got those little balls all cleared up!
others...
dooceaholic
s.a.h.m.
175. Fish said:
Hey, my son is well hung for someone who weighs nine pounds, thank you very much.
176. Carol said:
Oh, we're talking about your sons balls?
177. Toad said:
I love how every day the third through 13th posts are "FIRST!"
178. Sheryl said:
Fish, This should go on *your* tshirt:
"My son is well hung for someone who weighs nine pounds, thank you very much"
179. Fish said:
*uncomfortable silence*
180. Carol said:
It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.
181. GMM said:
I am so glad I am not first. Honestly, how much do those 13 people need a life, Toad?
182. Fish said:
Sheryl: I'll wait til he's fifteen and then distribute them to his buddies.
183. closet metrosexual said:
Fish: So you're planning to be a grandfather in sixteen years?
184. kristine said:
to the parents of young children with no teeth yet-
Make sure you brush those teefers the second they come in or you will be bending over for the dentist every month.
Second...if your child does have teeth, keep them away from little girls named Emily.
My daughter and Emily, the child with the thickest skull in 1st grade, collided and my 6 six year old is going to be singing, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"
Does George! have dental insurance because if he does, I WANT TO MARRY HIM!
185. Carol said:
Bummer about the teeth! Were they baby ones? Or permanent?
I don't brush my youngest's enough. I just gotta get him a headlock and go to it regardless of screaming and kicking.
I'm always afraid of my kids knocking out their teeth.
186. LadyBug said:
Kristine, were they baby teeth or permanent?
187. DG said:
>>Does George! have dental insurance because if he does, I WANT TO MARRY HIM!
Words Fail.
188. Fish said:
Well ... I mean ... er ... stop it!
*pouty face*
It's not nice to pick on a guy who had exactly 2 hours of sleep in the past week.
*deliberately changing subject:*
Toad/GMM: I think I was in the top 13 today (too tired to check), and I didn't say anything about being first, just that GEORGE looked a bit hungover. Currently, however, I think GEORGE is trying to get up the nerve the ask out the waitress.
You go, George!
189. Yawwwwwwn said:
If you think reading "I'm first" is boring, then you should know what it feels like to read about people whining about people saying "I'm first".
Seriously though, why should anyone set the rules on a comments list that they do not own? Why do you think your paradigm is better than theirs?
Do you think you will be able to change the behavior of other people by making those comments? And if not, is there a point...
190. LadyBug said:
Okay, I can't resist....
The only thing more boring than reading about people whining about people saying, "I'm first!", is reading about how boring it is to read about people whining about people saying, "I'm first!"
I'm pretty sure that didn't make sense, but I've had exactly two more hours sleep than Fish has.
191. kristine said:
baby teeth, THANK GOD. They were not ready to come out though, which sort of freaks me out. She's loving this though. She's got MY bed, MY tv and My remote and is in MY room yelling, "MOM, HOW MUCH YOU THINK THESE TEETH ARE GONNA GET ME!?"
I'm so mean. Now would be the time to tell her about the tooth fairy. oh yes, i am that mean.
:)
192. Carol said:
*allowing Fish to change subject*
George does look like he's about to pass out into his LumberJack Breakfast Plate no matter how many lattes he's had.
193. Jenie said:
Off the first subject (which I was today...so HA!!...shush, you're just jealous!) =o) (I'm totally just kidding..please..no hate mail!) LOL
Anyways...just a funny thing today, I clicked over onto blurbomat and both google ads were for colon cleansing. Somehow, I found that extremely funny!
194. LadyBug said:
Kristine, my (now 6 year old) daughter busted out one of her top front teeth over a year ago. It was soooo not ready to come out...came out root-and-all; it was about an inch long! Ack! We're still waiting on the damn permanent tooth to come in.
195. LadyBug said:
Oh, and she got 20 quarters from the tooth fairy for that one. (But only 'cause she busted it out, root and all. Normal payout from the tooth fairy is 4 quarters.)
196. Sheryl said:
Ladybug LMFAO.
*So tempting. Must...resist...replication...*
Shew...scroll, baby. We could get into a feedback loop from hell on this one that would be extremely funny to some but would piss the hell out of others.
197. Fish said:
Ah yes, the lumberjack breakfast special. Does every greasy spoon have the same dish? In Wisconsin, the name is sometimes switched up with "The Northwoods," but the concept is the same.
198. kristine said:
Ladybug-
My other daughter, going on 12, is waiting for the other front tooth to come down, the dentist said they will have to 'manually' pull it down. When she heard that she almost passed out. Then they showed me how much that costs...and I passed out.
Why does dental work have to be so expensive? I would understand if my children BIT the dentist and there was a chance of the dentist catching a bit of our crazy, but they just sit there like good little girls (I typed that without laughing)
199. Sissychong said:
GEORGE!!!!.......of France!
200. LadyBug said:
Jenie! I saw those Google ads at Blurbomat this morning, and when I clicked over there just now, they were, "Are you clean inside?" and "What's stuck in your gut?"
What a scream!
And, did anyone else see the link for Colonblow on the Dave Barry blog?
http://www.colonblow.com/
201. Kano said:
Yes, I do think I can change the behavior of the people I post about.
Usually after I post something they turn beet red........slam the keyboard...curse me for stepping on their Utopian turf......and then the veins begin to bulge on their foreheads as they stammer around asking why does Dooce let this A**hole post things here?. So I ask you did that change them or not?
202. Todd said:
"You sit around on your spotty, loathsome behinds squeezing blackheads....not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artists. You excrement. You whining hypocrytical toadies with your color TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs...."
I have no idea how I remember that from a Monty Python album...
203. LadyBug said:
Yeah, Kristine, mine (giggle) just sit (chuckle) there like (snort) good little (guffaw)...shit, I can't do it. Last time my almost-8 year old had anything done, they had to put that plastic-mouth-holder-opener in there. (I'm pretty sure that's the technical name for it.)
204. Emily said:
Todd, I thought you were talking about Kano.
205. Kano said:
Hey! that was a good one Emily....I like the Kano analysis too.
206. Sheryl said:
The problem with the Lumberjack Special: When you park said special it feels like you are giving anal birth to a lumberjack.
207. Carol said:
Kano - Love Ya!! But I think you're overestimating your ripple-effect on this here little pond. It's nice to hear a dissenting opinion every now and then. But I wonder how truly dissenting you are. Because you are here.
208. Carol said:
Sheryl - LOL.
209. kristine said:
I like, "Mr. Feel Funny Mask" they gave my one daughter when she had her tooth worked on.
"Mommy, can you see the monkeys?"
It was my daughters first drug induced trip...and she was like 4 years old.
210. Fish said:
MMMM. Yup. Makes me want a big plate of sausages and waffles.
Sheryl: "park a lumberjack" is WAY better than "pinch a Smeagol."
211. Smilliam said:
Last!
Take *that*, you smug bastards at the top.
212. Kano said:
No it's true Carol.....I have this program that allows me to see the person on the other end of their monitors...using the heat source transmitted by their bodies. You should see the expressions on their faces when they read my garbage....Just kidding!
Nah I just drop by every now and again to carpet bomb the place with a dose of reality....You need the Yin and Yang to keep a well balanced individual...you know.
213. Carol said:
Yeah, both sides are good.
BTW, did you see that really, behind my computer, I'm a huge-ass man sitting in the Fulton County Correction Facility? OK, what is the number on my shirt?
214. Fish said:
Ooh, Carol, you so pretty in dat orange jumpsuit.
raarr.
215. Sarah said:
I, for one, do not know how I could manage without Kano's insight.
More inspiring than a colon-cleansing bran muffin.
216. Carol said:
Come here, Fish. And be my girlfriend.
217. Fish said:
Kano: "carpet bomb the throne room" is even better than "anal birth of a lumberjack."
218. Sarah said:
Carol...show me your belly button..
219. Carol said:
Sarah... I already am... well, it is kind of hard to see through all my torso hair.
220. Fish said:
Carol: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!
*rapidly receding running footsteps*
221. kristine said:
did any of you CLICK on that colon cleansing thing. I did. Oh dear god the pictures!! and then after it shows you the pictures of what will come out of your ass when you take their products...it says, CLICK HERE TO ORDER.
Oh hell no! I don't want see that come out my ass!! Leave it there, it isn't bothering anyone.
*heebie jeebie*
222. Carol said:
You guys are crackin my shit UP!! But I can't stand for the 3 year old to watch one more second of tv. and nap time is over. and it's time to go to the park (Uh, I mean recreation yard) and run the monsters around for a bit.
Lay-tah!!
223. Gia said:
Ahhhhhhhhh the clutter!
224. Rebekah said:
Carol- I AM PISSING MY PANTS LAUGHING!!! Take that one Kano--
Oh wait, Can't we all just get along? :-)
225. Sheryl said:
The Colon Blow Project
http://www.steelgirl.com/colon.htm
excerpt:
"Many people use laxatives to "clear themselves up" or to "stay regular" or, in extreme cases of eating disorders, chronic poopers use them to "lose weight".
We wanted to see what all the hype was about. Why has the world fallen in love with poo?
Some would imply that it is a scandalous attempt by the sewage companies to brainwash us into unwittingly filling their tanks and pocket books with our love and feces."
226. Be, Oh Be said:
FIRST!!!
but f'real, what's the deal with that shit?
227. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I want a playdate with George! Let's go out and get shitfaced, Hor-hay!
228. kristine said:
There is a such thing as a 'love of feces' and people love poo?
Where have I been?
229. Girl.A said:
kristine
U don wanna know
230. Joe said:
...
...
*stares really hard*
OH!!
GEOOOOOORGE!!!
231. mrs. george #2 said:
G.E.O.R.G.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gimme some sugar.
forget the t-shirt idea... george needs to have his own video game!
232. kristine said:
Girl A -
You always have the most relative links!
233. TracyDee said:
Can't even make an approriate comment to the above... :) but I do LOVE Eggnog Lattes...
234. Rebekah said:
The Colon Blow Project-
All I have to say after reading that is- Oh My God-
235. Colleen from NJ said:
According to those google ads, Death begins in the colon.
Well, Kano, scuse me whilest I push out some mega-death. Too much lumberjack in my diet. Hows bout that for serving up reality?
236. kristine said:
Rebekah~
My email to you keeps bouncing back. Did you get any today?
and to stay on topic...Colleen, oh man, that was gross!! good job!!
237. closet metrosexual said:
Girl.A - I think that I'd be scared to see your Internet Explorer "Favorites." Very scared. But in a good way.
238. Colleen from NJ said:
Yes, Girl A, you got some spooooky links. I will send that to hubby.
Hey, Closet Met, did you ditch the razors?
239. Rebekah said:
Kristine- I got 2 other e-mails this morning... Hummmm... don know?
240. matt said:
Girl A ... your links are gonna get me dooced! :)
241. kristine said:
Okay, good I think that is all I sent. How odd.
242. LadyBug said:
Another t-shirt idea:
"Dooce: Cleansing the soul, cleansing the colon, since 2001"
243. mrs. george #2 said:
Yeah I spent like 3 hours browsing vagina dentata and it's related pages. I learned a lot about hermaphrodites! You rock Girl.A
Plus, she possess such lyrical genius rivaled only by the likes of Tupac.
244. closet metrosexual said:
Scruffy! All for you, Colleen. And Katie, too.
Reminds me of my favorite Beck song, "Debra." "I want to get with you. Only you, girl. And your sister. I think her name is Debra."
245. Girl.A said:
IE: Tools>Internet Options
Delete Cookies. Delete Files. Delete History. Empty recycle bin. Reboot.
Start>Programs>Accessories>System Tools>Disk defragmenter.
246. Shiz said:
Colonblow scares me.
How did we get onto this topic?
247. Girl.A said:
btw, Vagina Dentata was a band in my former punk rock life in the 80s.
TY, but I am in no way lyrical. Jus' Ask Snoop.
248. Rebekah said:
Kristine- I got 2 other e-mails but nothing from you yet :-( I will keep checking!!
249. kristine said:
Has anyone ever personally had or taken 'colonblow' (I mean the product...not the porn)
Can anyone give us some statements of fact?
250. closet metrosexual said:
Girl.A, I love you. I Snooped my blog, and laughed my ass off.
Thanks.
251. Heather 2 said:
Is it bad that I feel out-of-touch with the world because I wasn't able to keep up with Dooce while on vacation? I think I might have a problem...
252. kristine said:
Girl A-
Holy crap, that was the funniest shit ever! I snooped my blog and hey Rebekah, this is what it says about you:
"She's one of those insanely pretty brizzle that yo' ass wouldn't expect be so bomb diggity n' shit."
You're bomb diggity! lol.
253. the niffer said:
Man. I can't believe I missed the Monty Python hour. Stupid work. I have to come in on poo talk. How appropriate.
BRING ME A SHRUBBERY!!!
254. Shiz said:
Kieran (46): So first-hand piss would be BETTER?
255. Girl.A said:
First-hand piss is maybe so-so. Rates a smile from Mickey Mouse but a thumbs down sign from Simon Cowell.
256. GEORGE! said:
No I'm not hungover. My emo side was just ready to be displayed to the world.
257. LadyBug said:
Girl.A - I don't think that's Simon Cowell. I think it's Blue Man Group.
258. kristine said:
Girl A - do you have a blog?
I would love to read it!!
But like the other guy says, your favorites would be scary!! hee hee.
259. Girl.A said:
Ladybug, is this U
260. LadyBug said:
Sho nuff. Don't mess wit me. Fo shizzle.
261. Rebekah said:
Kristine- I tried to do mine but it was not working!! THAT is so freakin funny-
I'm gonna go drop it like it's hot
262. Fish said:
Thank God, the Shizzolator is back, n'shit. It STILL never gets old, bzitches.
Where be Amanda B at?
263. LadyBug said:
Girl.A - I'm putting that photo on my blog, but I'm giving you credit (but no finder's fee. sorry, I'm broke.). Do you have a blog you want me to link to?
264. closet metrosexual said:
Snoop's webmaster just shizzolated his pants as his server went down due to massive traffic, all coming from Dooce.com.
"Dooce: Bigger than Snoop. Fo' Shizzle."
265. Rebekah said:
What's up Fish? Us bzitches aint good enuf?
266. Rebekah said:
I agree though Amanda B. would be getting a kick out of this.
267. Sheryl said:
Rebekah, You gotta go drop a yam? Back one out?
268. Rebekah said:
Sheryl- I guess I am showing that I have an 11 year old boy that lives in my house.
Because I am aware that "Drop it like it's hot" is a Snoop song....
It can be used as a pooping term if needed.
269. Very Mom said:
My D70 has a memory card with 1GB of memory - I think it holds 500 photos. I love it.
270. MrsDoF said:
GEORGE! you are there at 256!
Tell me, is the eggnog latte good at that eatery?
Are you studying for Finals? Cuz I got a 92% on mine, with an 87% for the course! Yay!
271. Fish said:
Click my name for the intro to the Shizzolator. Dooce herself dubbed this one the "best comment thread EVER."
Ah, Memories n'shit.
272. Super Turtle Girl said:
Mmmm....EGG.NOG.LATTE.only 5,000 grams of fat.
273. Caroline said:
GEORGE!
*muwha*
I lurve George pictures. He still doesn't get a section though? What does it take?
274. Girl.A said:
Girl gots no blog but will sometime. I'm working on one. I found your portrait on google acourse. I have mind-melded with the google.
"The shit is bananas! B - A - N - A - N - A - S - Yay." Anyone else listening to Gwen Stefani's dance album?
275. Amanda B. said:
Here I am. I had a mean work day. Plbbbbht. :)
George is a dreamboat. Is them Mormons over there behind him?
You guys are so funny today with the Monty Python and the scary, pointy toothed hoo-hoos.
"Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
276. Caroline said:
Hey, Mighty Jimbo, after the cool kids do it, it's not cool anymore.
Take, for instance, Da Bomb.
Fo Shizzle.
Phat.
Dawg.
Wack.
Uber.
Feel free to add on.
277. Shiz said:
Carol re: "dooceaholic"
Because you are addicted to dooceahol?
278. Girl.A said:
Vagina Dentata.
279. closet metrosexual said:
Girl.A, wtf? No links on the last two posts? C'mon, you're blowing your reputation. Scare me. I dare you.
280. kristine said:
shit, Girl A is being taunted to scare, and I HAVE CONFERENCE CALL IN FIVE MINUTES. Hold on people, don't start without me!!
281. kristine said:
wow, I didn't think you guys would actually WAIT.
Conference call was at 3pm and no one told me it was changed.
GRrrrrrrrrrr.
Alrighty, carry on the doocery.
282. kristine said:
no really....carry on.
last?
283. Christine said:
Holy crap.
I just had the uncontrollable urge to kiss George on the earlobe.
What's the deal with this guy? Is he wearing *mistletoe* cologne? And is he wearing so much of it that women can smell it through cyberspace?
What the hell. ~kisskisskisskisses~ all over the Georgie-bear. :)~
284. Paula said:
I know this is kind of late, but George!!!
285. Girl.A said:
Sorry, can't post... Shopping. Blackberry. Not sure I should try to scare y'all anyways. Might get kicked the fuck out. Wasn't trying to scare anybody with dentata...
286. Carla Beth said:
It's time you break out, George, and do your own website. You've got star power, clearly you're lusted after, and you KNOW you've got more duct tape stories to share. I want more duct tape stories.
287. closet metrosexual said:
Girl.A: After dentata, I'm going to have bad dreams for a month. They'll start as goooood dreams, and then, Oh No! Dentata!
Say goodbye to my nocturnal love-life.
288. jelene said:
woohoo, i am number 288!!! YEAH
289. Amanda B. said:
Girl A- scary but funny. I don't think dentata permantly damaged anyone. In fact, I dated this real ass once and I kinda wish...um, nevermind.
Closet metrosexual- you crack me up.
290. Mary said:
I'm so late to the game this time--I don't even have the energy to read all the other comments. I just wanted to say that I love this shot. Very, very nice.
And of course I always love George. Always.
291. kristine said:
I'm SO glad I didn't click on THAT link.
The colonblow is still creeping me out. I might not eat dinner tonight.
292. shy me said:
GEORGE!!!!
293. jennay said:
Poetical:
"I vote for a photo of George holding Leta, petting Chuck and mopping up dorito crumbs annnnd giving Jon a high five all at once….then the crowd might flip a lid!!"
I would shit the bed and then buy one for my grandma!!
294. jennay said:
...that is, if this momentous photo were screened onto a cotton tee.
295. GirlA. said:
ok, I am home. I have something very scary to share with you.
*Arachibutyrophobia*
296. GirlA. said:
Imagine What Your Life Would Be Like Without Zemmiphobia and Fear of the Great Mole Rat
http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/problem_detail.asp?SDID=4852:1932
297. Amanda B. said:
Girl A- Oh my god. That is horrifying. It's like all of my darkest fears in html.
298. GirlA. said:
coprophagia
http://www.panx.net/ep/0872.jpg
299. lulu cornichon said:
The best part:
"Finally, some people just love to talk about their arachibutyrophobia. That's one reason why some people may spend years in talk therapy. They love to have someone who cares about them listen to their arachibutyrophobia problems."
But how much is there really to talk about? How many different kinds of peanut butter incidents can there really be?
300. Sheryl said:
Just one kind of peanut butter incident. Cloying, strangling, suffocating.
Got Milk?