Here in this photo she is wearing pink, so please stop sending me email telling me that I don't dress her in pink enough
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. chickenHead said:
I'm it!
2. Allison said:
cutie Leta
3. kEma said:
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA
I never wore pink, either but that doesnt make me less femine now ;)
4. Allison said:
wow...now i know how it feels to be up there!!!!
5. pd said:
baaahhhh... so cute! :)
6. Tabbie said:
oooo hygenic, is she old enough to dye her hair already?
7. Sarah said:
That child really can be preoccupied with any object.
8. ginger said:
twins! double the fun! ;)
9. Cheryl said:
Leta: Mommy, I don't think grandma would approve of this non-avon hairspray and deodarant. How is she supposed to stay on top of her game?
10. lady said:
Wow!! Leta's hair is getting longer everyday. It's FINALLY growing like a weed!!
11. Stephanie said:
Pretty!
12. Fish said:
Dooce: it seems as if you have not only appeased the commenters asking her to wear pink, but also those who asked you to let her play with caustic bathroom chemicals, as well!
Good Job.
13. becaru said:
"Finish my drink or do my hair?"
It's my daily dilemna, Leta!!
14. Geremy said:
but who's that other kid????
(just kidding)
15. Alex said:
Are those Leta's newest toys?
My son came to work with me on Friday and left with the phone cord from my office phone. You'd swear he struck gold with how happy he was with that thing.
16. Circus Kelli said:
That is the greatest picture what with all the angles and reflections and beauty products for the natural born cosmetologist and the pink, OH THE PINK and that little ear and such pretty eyes and little chubby baby hands and and the little wisp of a curl on the back of her little punkin head and all...
17. Martha said:
I see she is lovin up the toiletries.
18. Carol said:
She really is precious.. I love her hair!
And the expression on her face... "What? Aren't these things musical instruments? No? Well, they are now."
19. beachgal said:
Oh how precious. Lovely lovely Leta.
I plopped my son in the spare bathroom sink the other day, and he had so much fun grabbing the little decorations and talking to himself in the mirror.
20. Eva said:
AWWWWWWWWWW... this is the cutest one yet!
21. e said:
interesting shot of a beautiful baby - I love it!
22. John said:
I think this is your best Leta pic yet.
23. Rebekah said:
I love this picture of her. I would also give my daughter anything to keep her quiet. Escecially in the bathroom... anything to just get a shower during the day! Keep up the good writing.
24. shaunacat said:
I love the little curls at the back of her neck. She's so beautiful. :o)
25. pismire said:
"Please, Mama, wear this deodorant! It's been DAYS since you last showered!" says Leta, her cheeks pink with frustration and excitement. The same pink that so beautifully matches her sweater.
26. beerzie yoink said:
Why doesn't she have a bow in her hair. HUH?
27. Mary said:
Do you buy matching toiletries on purpose, or does it just happen? They look very nice with Leta's pink outfit.
28. hayley said:
when my mother had my older sister in 1973, its wasn't cool to dress your little girls in pink. so my sister got to wear yellow with red and navy blue, little flared pants and hoodies and such.
seven years and two baby boys later, i arrived in 1980. not only was it the 80's, but my mother's itch to dress a girl in pink frilly dresses had kicked in.
i don't know of a single baby picture of me where i am not cloaked in pink ruffles.
lucky leta.
29. Moxie said:
Leta: "Now which one did Kyle tell me? You use *this* one to spray on the furniture and *this* one to smear on the glass?"
30. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Be glad, very glad indeed, that she's not grabbing for the feminine hygiene products just yet. Or the liquor cabinet.
Wow, I go out of town for a couple of days and you grant us Chuck pictures, all weekend. Woof!
31. Em said:
She is - as always - adorable. My 1 year old can be preoccupied with random things like that too.
And about the pink - only if you like it - there are lots of really great colors out there! Don't be limited. :-)
Dress her in what you want - because a day will come soon that she will actually have an opinion on not only what color but what article of clothing she wears!!!!!!
32. David said:
Hey, I wanted to make that joke with the matching accessories. Flipping heck, you've got to be quick here.
33. Colleen from NJ said:
Mom, which one helps with the "I've been laying next to a dog all weekend" smell?
34. heathertoo said:
She is beautiful in PINK! Whats wrong with pink...at least people wont call her a boy. Oh and btw, redheads look best in pink.
35. emmy said:
awww.
36. gardens grey said:
My kids used to love playing with my deodorant, too!
37. Meggan said:
Pink is overrated. And Leta is lovely!
38. erinire said:
i agree - pink IS overrated, although looking very cute on this little one!!
39. tiffany said:
Holy cow, people write to tell you how to dress her? Dude, it's like you have a thousand computer screen mother-in-laws.
40. lulu cornichon said:
So people are *still* sending you unsolicited advice? You really should have some kind of snotty form letter to fire back at them.
Wait. That was advice. Unsolicited, even. Never mind.
41. Gordon said:
Did you know that the current ads by Google is showing a site for Mormon Singles?
42. August95 said:
Babies and Mirrors. And Girls and Beauty products. Nature or Nurture.
43. LadyBug said:
I love the angle of that photo. And Leta really is a vision in pink.
And your bathroom looks so clean and coordinated, what with all the white towels and all. Very nice.
44. Melissa R. said:
That is the cutest kid I have ever seen in my life.
45. honestyrain said:
not only is she wearing pink but she is holding onto and possibly using beauty products. well deoderant isn't about beauty so much as it's about not stinking like crap, but still. she's lovely in any color.
46. red said:
pink is over-rated. i like her in red. :-)
47. Lindsey said:
Not only is she in pink, but she's loading up on girly products! It's never too soon to start masking that baby B.O. smell :)
48. Chris Gin said:
Strong enough for a MAN, but made to rock your ass!
Tagline:
Big Leta is cooking up some ass!
49. Grace said:
I thought Leta was wearing pink in the previous photo? Now, people can't tell me she's not wearing enough pink. She probably wore that sweater all day!
50. Stephanie said:
Pink is good! Is that deodorant in her little hands? Man, I know they grow up fast but deodorant ALREADY? Jeez. :)
51. Miss Kimberley said:
I absolutely love that her hair is red. I hope it stays that way.
52. bb said:
Honestly, if anyone's sending you email saying you don't dress her in pink enough then they have major issues. It's CULTURAL people! I love pink and everything but PINK being a girl colour should not be taken as IT.
53. Cammie said:
baaaaa. baaaaa.
54. Jamie said:
Take care in knowing that I, too, have splatted giggling, baby glee on a low basement ceiling. Only it wasn't my baby, and there were tons of people in the room. Whoops.
55. Sherri said:
So cute. I was walking past a gift store in Brooklyn yesterday and in the window, they had a bunch of baby t-shirts. One of them said "I'm not a boy" and another one said "I'm not a girl." I totally thought of you and Leta and your cough syrup-buying story.
56. Heatheranne said:
Too cute.
57. Em said:
At least she is using her deoderant. Good job. Lovely light too!
58. Regan said:
oh no! is that DEODERANT she is playing with? the HORROR!!! Call CHILD SERVICES!!!!!
and you TOTALLY don't dress her in lime green enough.
59. MrsDoF said:
At our church is a family with 3 sons, then finally a girl....who gets all the out-grown clothes.
The grandma took one very nice Blue jacket and on the back embroidered in pink thread
"Under all my hand-me-downs, I am every inch a Lady"
She says she got the idea from a Life in These United States paragraph in the Reader's Digest.
Leta looks fine in whatever clothes she's wearing, or even no clothes at all. I like her pretty eyes best.
60. The Mighty Jimbo said:
so many toiletries, only one mouth. how to decide! how to decide!
61. Fish said:
No deodorant in the world is gonna cover up the smell that emits from any baby's bottom system. I'm learning THAT the hard way.
62. Fish said:
Chris Gin:
"Big Leta is cooking up some ass!"
?
Explain, because that comment is hilarious in its bizarreness.
63. Mo said:
I've done that. Except it wasn't a baby. It was a kitten. And it wasn't the ceiling. It was the ceiling fan.
Possibly the worst thing I've ever done. Ever.
:-/
64. Becca said:
Aww the mirror shot.. a classic. She's adorable.
65. SpaceCase said:
Adorable, adorable picture! Leta's cheeks look perfect for snacking on.
66. Jenny said:
Cripes, by the time I read through these comments I realize that while your baby is Adorable (capital A there) I must have missed the entire rest of the picture - non avon products, well decorated bathroom? Sorry, I just like your site and just about all of your pictures and cannot believe that people actually complain about what your daughter wears and doesn't wear.
67. Sarah said:
Leta:"Which one of these has the best projectile properties?"
68. Terri said:
I look forward to seeing Leta's picture everyday. Life just doesn't get better than seeing that sweet face. Regardless of what color she's wearing. (jeesh, people actually say that??)
69. Claude said:
See, and not only is she wearing pink, it's a mirror shot. So the folks who are bitching about her outfits are getting twice the pink for their efforts.
70. coffeegirl said:
I looooooove her hair. She looks like a little pixie.
71. TracyDee said:
The pale pink really makes her hair look red. Nice photo :)
72. Amanda B. said:
Hmmm. Yeah. Dooce, I'm afraid that shirt is just not quite pink enough to make me happy. Please try again.
*assuming defensive karate pose*
73. jenny said:
i love how Leta has exactly 1cm of neck! It's totally... HEADneckBODY!
That's the best part of every baby, I think. heh.
74. Kieran said:
Looks like she is already well on her way to being a little hussy!
75. Kieran said:
Leta has the same look that my cat gets in front of the mirror. You know that whole who is that? Wait is that me look
76. Nathan Logan said:
I have to say - I love the aspect/angle of that photo. Being able to see only the parts of her face reflected in the mirror that are hidden behind the hair products is genius. Really perfect.
Keep up the good work.
77. maxigumee said:
I LOVE the color of her hair in this picture!
78. Sarcastic Journalist said:
We let our child play with prescription bottles. Of antidepressants, none the less. Hey, whatever works, right?
79. Rori said:
OMG, she is sitting on a counter, holding things that could be dangerous!
*kidding, SO kidding*
80. Jessica said:
Wow, Leta has a lot of hair for a ten-month old!!! Adorable!
81. sweetney said:
leta smells like teen spirit!
82. mimi said:
Could you tell me if you ever use any of the "pre set" modes on your D70? I'm hoping to hand mine off at my wedding soon and wonder if I shouldn't just put it into a portrait setting before I ask a semi-stranger to start shooting the only photo documentation of this wedding.
83. Sheryl said:
I can't believe you dressed your daughter in *PINK*! And you gave her some fascist corporate products to play with! The brainwashing begins!
*I thought you were a feminist. humph.*
And if anyone took that seriously, then you should have your internet-reading license revoked.
84. shannon c said:
I really like this shot a lot. The compostion is amazing. The way you didn't get her "props" in the mirror, yet you get her beautiful mouth. She looks more like a little girl than a baby anymore...I hate to say it. Gorgeous photo (not just because the subject matter is so darn cute).
I agree with Nathan, although Nathan said it better than I!
85. Nicole said:
How cute! Although, is she hinting that you smell or she does?
86. Ali said:
Heather, you know I adore you, which is why I hate to break the news to you:
Your daughter has septic tank red hair, naturally.
87. Torph said:
And Leta started using deodorant when?
88. jen said:
oh how i hate the rediculous comments that mother-in-laws and ppl without little girls make about the bows and the pink and she has to look like a baby-i am like she is my child and i don't like the whole oh so frilly baby look and niether does she-so give it a rest already-i am not giving in.do i sound frustrated?i am not just letting out a little aggravation that i am forced to hold in to keep peace-bytheway very cute pic-
89. Sheryl said:
P.S. I agree with Shannon C and Nathan about the composition and the cross exposure of parts of Leta's face.
There is that right eye that doesn't show up in either view, though. You're not trying to hide something are you, hmm? Basement ceiling accident? ;)
90. Angie said:
I'm so jealous of how much beautiful hair she has. She has more than my almost 14 month old.
91. dre said:
Do I see some Aveda Brilliant spray-on shine? :-D
Miss Leta looks cuter every day.
92. the niffer said:
No deodorant in the world is gonna cover up the smell that emits from any baby’s mouth
THAT LICKS CHUCK'S ASS.
Are you sure this kid doesn't belong to Fish? Them be guppy lips.
93. sab said:
could she be any cutier?
94. sab said:
I meant cuter.
95. robin said:
Hey, as long as both those items have lids....they are perfect toys. Better than anything you'd find at ToysRUs. Well, for 5 minutes anyway. Then you might need dental floss (that's a hint...my kid won't let go of the dental floss container). :-)
96. Monday said:
From the thumbnail I thought it was a bottle of Hershey's Syrup and I got irrationally excited...
Still a very nice pic though - despite the lack of chocolate.
97. taryn said:
Um, Dooce, that sweater is not really pink enough for a girl. And the least you could do is take off the cap on the hair spray for her.
Seriously, I love this picture, two Letas!
98. heathabee said:
She is the definition of cute. I can't handle it. Pink makes her hair look so red! I LOVE IT.
Such a pretty, pretty girl.
99. wix said:
lovely!
i'd like to see an email where someone says she's not wearing pink often enough. not because i don't believe that you've gotten that kind of email, but because i need a good laugh.
100. Caroline said:
You dress her in pink too much ;).
101. becky said:
aha! you really do read your email. ;)
102. becky said:
uh, wait. not that i sent the "pink missive" or anything, because i'm not a pink wearer. i prefer red. and purple. and blue.
103. Shiz said:
Delicious.
You really don't dress your baby in all black enough, Heather. Where's the head-to-toe goth blackness? What kind of MOTHER are you?
104. Caroline said:
Oh and I also think Leta has (very pretty) septic tank poopy red hair. Cool.
105. Carolyn said:
Oh, oh, is she banging those together? It looks like it. My son, just about her age, LOVES to bang things together. Wood or plastic blocks, it make sense because they actually go 'bang bang' but he'll do this with *socks*.
106. Caroline said:
Carolyn -- people call me Carolyn all the time; do people call you Caroline? And doesn't it annoy you?
107. Tracy said:
She's like a wee Molly Ringwald.
Her wrist and neck creases crack me up. They make her look like a fully articulated doll.
108. Elizabeth said:
I read this today from the BabyCenter and had to make sure you saw it too, because it's SO Leta! (LOVE the pink, by the way -- and I have two BOYS! (Who I dress in lots of ORANGE!))
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/general/preschooler/1407901.html
109. Paige said:
I can't be bothered to read all the other responses. :P
That said, is her hair RED? It always looked brown to me before. Awesome. My kiddo is a redhead (well, strawberry blonde but STILL), they're characters.
110. Karen Rani said:
Hey Dooce! I just got this joke in my email and thought of your Mom:
An Avon lady was sitting in her cubicle at work when suddenly she
had to 'let go' some air. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed
the
air with
an Avon Pine-Scented deodorizer.
Later, a gentleman co-worker went into her cubicle. He began to
sniff. Finally, the Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something?"
"Well, yes I do" he replied. "What does it smell like?"
The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but it kinda smells
like someone shit under a Christmas tree!"
Great shot! I LOVE today's picture!
111. Shiz said:
Carolyn & Caroline,
Comedian Brian Regan has a bit about that. He says,
"Carolyn and Caroline. Don't call them the wrong name, because they have a thing about that."
"It's CaroLINE, Brian. It's CaroLINE."
"It's BriONNNNN."
Brian Regan be oh so funny.
112. Elizabeth said:
Your "thinking" from 12/12 has me laughing to the point of tears. Just thought you should know!
113. Caroline said:
Oh, and check this out (from www.jeopardy.com)
--If being part of America’s Favorite Quiz Show® sounds like a dream job, then you should try out for the JEOPARDY! Clue Crew!--
You should totally sign up.
114. Caroline said:
Shiz -- it is REALLY annoying. It's like calling Shania Shaneeya. But who's Brian Regan? Never heard of him.
115. Shiz said:
I can see that, Caroline. Even though my name is Sharon, a lot of people call me Shannon.
Not a lot of people know Brian Regan, which is a shame, because he's a BRILLIANT comedian. You can find him at http://www.brianregan.com/, and even though his cd has cheap design on the cover, the content is hilarious! I found the whole thing on Limewire.
116. Amanda B. said:
That's funny Caroline, because I call Shania Twain- Satan.
117. Caroline said:
Does anyone else share my obsessive love of those Rubberband Man Office Max commercials? Especially the new holiday one! Oh, and Matt Damon is *hot*. The first Bourne movie is on USA if anyone's interested. Just thought you should know, don't yell at me for my multiple off-topic posts.
118. Caroline said:
Amanda - Yea, she is. I didn't mean Shania Twain, I was just giving an example of how freakin annoying it is.
119. Carol said:
Ha!! Amanda B. - you are funny as shit, girrfreeund.
120. jm said:
Oh no! Mary Kay colors!!!
But day-um, that kid is a cutie.
I'm catching up and I read the post about the ceilings. It totally made me laugh. Since the DH is 6'7" , we have to be more "aware" of the height restrictions on tossing children.
121. Susie said:
Satan? I rearrange the little wooden blocks at my mother-in-law's decorated-for-Christmas house from S-A-N-T-A to S-A-T-A-N. She hates that a lot. I also rearrange NOEL to LEON. She just thinks that's weird. And off-topic.
122. jm said:
Susie-- Do you know that you can also use "LONE"? My sister's middle name is Noel and she has those blocks. Poor kid. We're always messing them up.
123. Caroline said:
Susie - I'll keep that in mind when I go home for the holidays :)
124. Kaycee said:
green is the new pink
125. Mari said:
She is a beautiful little girl, no matter what color she wears.
126. Jeanette said:
Hi Heather, I know this will probably get lost in the shuffle ... but I wanted to thank you for sharing your unique and hilarious perspective with us. On days like today when I want to curl into the oblivion of sleep b/c of depression, your funny little stories serve as a pick me up.
So, thank you. :)
127. lena said:
not only does she wear pink and brush her own hair but she's using hairspray and deodorant! so advanced, you must be doing something right, inspite of that smack on the ceiling in the basement (so funny btw)!
128. Jill said:
ADORABLE!
129. Leah said:
Funny! I just discovered this web site that's all pictures taken in mirrors:
http://www.themirrorproject.com
130. Benny said:
haha great photo! at first i thought you had brought out leta's twin sister...that...you...keep hidden =) great shot!
131. Melynda said:
I dispise pink, so if we ever have a daughter she'll be in purples but never pinks. *shudders*
Personal preference though, Leta looks gorgeous as always! :)
132. JP said:
Why is pink such a MUST when you have girls??
When you have such pale skin like I do and you have daughters that have beautiful golden brown skin...you dress them in ALL the colors YOU CANNOT WEAR.
133. anna jr. said:
i just went back and re-read all your monthly newsletters to leta and i cannot believe #1 how much time has passed already and #2 how grown up she is getting.
just LOOK at her.
sigh.
134. Julie said:
Hey, it's ok to have a girly-girl! If Leta is a girly-girl, she will be no matter what you do to her, no matter what color you put her in now, and no matter what beauty products you put in her hands or on her face/hair/body. I was TOTAL tomboy until college. My mom hated it. I wore cowboy boots with my dresses to church. My little one is 18 months old, already LOVES to look at herself in the mirror, primps and preens, "combs" her hair, picks out her clothes and loves when we make a big deal out of them, etc. Dolls galore, much to Daddy's chagrin. You can have fun with it - the other day she and I had a Mommy/Daughter "Spa" day and had a big old bubble bath and then "combed" each other's hair. HEAVEN!
135. wealhtheow said:
I was reading somewhere that the convention of pink=girl, blue=boy is fairly recent. In the 1800s (if the article was to be believed) pink was believed to be a strong color and blue a more submissive, tranquil color, so boys would wear pink and girls would wear blue. Personally, if I ever have a girl, I'd probably just put her in a shirt that reads "I have LABIA!!"
136. Rebekah said:
When my daughter was a baby I HATED the color pink. I even had my girlfriend print on my babyshower invites that I hated the color pink. Well now that she is almost 5 she wants to see all the pictures of her when she was a baby.... and of course she always ask, "mommy who is that little boy?"
137. Shiz said:
I think the pale pink Leta's in is nicer than pepto pink. It's pretty.
But you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO, HEATHER, because she is YOUR BABY. Even if you dress her in gold lamé, I promise not to say anything because if the great Heather B. Armstrong dresses her frog baby in gold lamé, then there is a reason for it, damnit.
138. George Lover said:
I'm digging what looks like a glassblock window. They are SO cool.
And I'm also a fan of the Rubberband man commercials, but haven't seen the holiday one.
As for baby clothing, is it too soon to break out the "Mommy wants a new president" t-shirts?
139. Shiz said:
George Lover, it's NEVER too soon.
140. happy to live in one of the blue states said:
honestly, you let far too many people influence your life. Including me.
141. pretendingsanity said:
She looks so stinking cute in pink. And it's official, she now has more hair than my almost 3 year old daughter. I'm so jealous.
142. Caroline said:
There's a website where you can see the commercial. I think it's www.rubberbandman.officemax.com. Or you could just google rubberband man commercial.
143. not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's o said:
Dre (#91), Looks like an Aveda product to me, too.
Damn, Leta is cute. Teach her to give butterfly kisses with those long eyelashes.
144. Shiz said:
There's something WRONG with being Metrosexual??? I LOVE my not-gay, metrosexual husband!
145. not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's o said:
Shiz, there's nothing wrong with being Metrosexual. If you saw how badly I need a manicure, you'd know how un-Metrosexual I am. Ok, maybe the fact that I know I need a manicure gives me away as a metro-wannabe. Busted!
146. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I love babies who play with toiletries. If my daugher isn't holding a toothbrush or a box of tampons, she's just not happy.
147. vim said:
Nobody Else Wants To Mention This So I Will. The best masthead of all time has not turned up in the Masthead Archive. It is missing. Not There. Just when I wanted to show it to someone. I wonder if the Wayback Machine has a copy.
148. Lenae said:
I have to say, she does look beautiful in pink.
149. Shiz said:
Best masthead of all time? Which one?
Why am I hogging the comments today?
150. Danika said:
Probably the cowbell one Shiz.
I think this is my favorite picture of Leta ever.
151. Shiz said:
I like the ones with the abhorrent send-you-to-hell F-word in them.
152. shy said:
i don't dress up chaeli in pink all the much. but her grandparents do. actually, i dress her up in pink to get the grandparental units off my back. i also take artsy photo's of her... like in black and white, close-ups, and other perspective shots. they hate it.
and all i can say to them is... "pbbbffft! take your own photos then!"
leta's hair grew FAST! it looks great!
153. Fran said:
Deoderant and hair spray...how come our local Toys R Us doesn't carry those items?
154. Circus Kelli said:
shy: One of the grandmothers of our little clowns tells me "You NEVER send me pictures of them!" and proceeds to "finish the roll of film in her camera (that she just happened to bring) every time she visits. Last time I asked her how many pictures she had left on the roll, she told me one or two -- turns out, it was a brand new roll of film that she had just "finished off".
What really bugs me is when other family members get the pictures SHE'S taken of MY kids before I do! :)
155. Carol said:
...news flash...scott peterson just got the death penalty....
156. Shiz said:
My mom takes pictures that are bad and then keep them ALL, like the back of someone's arm at my brother's wedding. Why is THAT on display?
157. Colleen from NJ said:
not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's one:
You're fooling yourself. You are not a wanna-be. Deep down, you are. You just haven't come out with your true self. I say to you: be true! Go get the manicure. Free yourself from the chains that bind you.
I know my brother is a closet metrosexual and I wish I could tell him I know. I just want him to be happy.
158. trisha said:
OM gosh, that is a gorgeous picture of a gorgeous baby.
159. kate said:
some of you people talk just to hear yourselves talk. being first on the list of comments does not make you a better or more valuable person, nor will it make you extra special best friends with dooce.
that being said, leta does look very cute today.
160. Sheryl said:
I almost posted first the other day but stopped because I didn't want to be first or be involved in any talk about being first. Those posts used to annoy me, then I was just in wonder about the why, why WHY? of it.
I have to say though, that morning, realizing (when the form suddenly said that commenting was no longer available on that picture) others were furiously posting made me realize something. It's not totally about trying to stand out and be competitive. It's about the suspense of waiting for a moment to happen - over which you have no control, but which you know will happen.
It must be like being in a particular place at a particular time and waiting for a recurring rainbow or something. Like being the first kid in the town to see the Pony Express riding up. Like being the person on the shore seeing the cargo ship come into the bay.
Like a Twilight Zone episode, having a hand touch you from another universe, you know that hand is coming to touch you, but you don't knwo exactly when...a familiar magical hand bearing pictures and typing amusing messages - sent from the void.
I still don't want to post first, but I think I get it. "There are always several sides to every story."
Now I am wondering why people complain about what other people post...
161. Renae said:
I am new to this. And I can't tell you how happy I am to have been introduced to this site! it makes me SAHM days all that much brighter.
And it's good to know I'm not the only mom who hands her child tubes of lotions and deoderants to play with. Rock on!
162. kate said:
Okay, I may have gotten a little harsh there.
I just feel like it's ODD that people are in competition to have the *first* comment. That takes away any possibility of actually responding to what's going on, instead it's about the ME ME ME ME aspect of it, which shouldn't really exist.
I am a Dooce addict. I read this site every day, and check compulsively. We'd all like to have a friend as cool as Heather, and we come here to live vicariously, perhaps, or just for a daily dose of Dooce to brighten our little corners of the world.
But I have no impluse to try to thrust myself into the forefront of Dooce's readers, and I feel like people who do are, well, creepy. And need to get jobs/lives/hobbies (this said by a 23 year old who works for her mother FROM HOME.)
So I have no place to judge, blah blah. And nothing I can say here will convince anyone to reexamine their priorities or anything. Argh.
163. Molly said:
That picture makes my heart melt. great shot!! I really need the next 5 hours to fly by so I can get home to my little one...
164. not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's o said:
Colleen from NJ - I'm not fooling myself. I'd be a metrosexual if I could afford it. I'd be a BMW driving, Armani wearing, manicured metrosexual if I had the dough. Instead, I'm a old subaru driving, hole-in-the-knee jean wearing, cut-my-own-damn-nails, plain old guy. (I did have a manicure once. She told me I had nice cuticles!)
165. Shiz said:
Not Metro - Maybe she was hitting on you.
166. Brigitte said:
I read a bunch of websites where people compete to be first to comment on a new post. I find it curious that everyone here needs to deconstruct it so much.
And now I sound all assy and superior. But yet I post. Oy.
167. honestyrain said:
is it just me or is the child whose mother threw her head into a ceiling sitting on a counter top undefended in this photo?
i do not judge, i only seek to point out wherein others are failing.
but i'm kidding anyway. no one thinks heather is failing at anything. i would hate to be misunderstood. stop misunderstanding me!
168. not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's o said:
Shiz - I doubt it, she was probably just trying to get a better tip, and the only nice thing she could say about me is that I have nice cuticles. Then again, I can never tell if a girl is hitting on me. I'm clueless. Thus, I'm single. (sob)
169. jelene said:
how dare you let your baby girl wear pink. i mean out of all the colors in the rainbow... and you don't want to put a big bow in her hair either. or paint her fingernails pink. it's wrong. very wrong.
170. Girl.A said:
When something pisses me of that is completely not important or personal to me - I gotta ask myself: Self, are you here to bitch, or to participate?
I see no harm in asking myself or others to reconsider our knee-jerk reactions. Or deconstruct if'n it learns me sumthin.
171. Dara said:
very very sweet!
172. Sarah said:
I thought it was really fun being first only because the odds were so against it. It happened by accident...I just was looking at the site when I saw the thumbnail change.
And Kate, I am addicted to this site, but guess what? I have friends that are just as cool as Heather and I can hang out with them, and DO. Yes, judge not...blah blah blah.
I don't hold Dooce on a pedastool...I just dig her website.
;)
173. Beth said:
She looks so fascinated - and I love her little 'rubber band' wrists! I'd gobble Leta up!
174. Amanda B. said:
Well said, Self.:)
Furthermore, no matter what you say or when you say it, someone out there will want to call you names. You can't please everybody. I say be yourself, and you'll be fine.
(unless yourself sucks!) :)
175. Fish said:
Brigitte: No worries, this is definitely the place to go if you want to sound "assy."
176. RazDreams said:
*(Am I the only one having Daily Posting Withdrawals???)*
177. Jana said:
Funny. I wouldn't let anyone buy pink for my daughter when she was a baby...guess what color she ONLY has to wear now at 7! LOL!
I also love that she has deodorant and spray in her hands. Who the heck needs toys anyway!!
178. jkegwest said:
Seriously. People are mad about pink? It upsets me that something so trivial could upset so many of my fellow Dooce readers. Don't people have more important things to worry about anymore? I mean, I know we aren't all thinking of world hunger and global warming every minute of the day, but complaining about a lack or surplus of pink? Sad, folks...
179. Gia on Guam said:
I know it was mentioned that those are recognizable Aveda Products but I'm surprised no one's asked exactly what brand/scent. It's funny to me how ppl want Dooce's shoes, couch and shoes.
Leta is gorgeous in pink and any colour. I think her hair is the perfect shade of red. It's not in the least bit septic tank poopy red...I would think anything septic tank was more brown and black than red...waaaaait that means I have septic tank hair.... :(
180. Girl.A said:
I would really like to see Leta in full-body chainmail. You are such a bad mother that you never put her in chainmail!
Ok, maybe chainmail would be too heavy for a 10 month old, maybe it would get you arrested by the child police people. My bad.
I guess it is a good thing you don't really do whatever we chuckleheads tell you to.
181. Elegant Goose said:
Re: Wanting to be first and the idea of vicariously being friends with Dooce.
I've been having a thought about all this stuff too. I also adore this website. I check it a few times every day and post about every other day or as I get a chance (I'm kinda busy what with grad school and student teaching... so it's not as often as I'd like.)
Kate said "We’d all like to have a friend as cool as Heather, and we come here to live vicariously..." I don't know about all of you, but I think we probably all DO have a real actual personal friend as cool as Heather. In fact many of US are probably as cool as Heather. We all have interesting lives, really. Everyone has a story to tell. We all have families we love but who drive us bat-shit crazy. For those with kids they are all adorable and they do ridiculously cute things. Perhaps not everyone's spouses are as cute with toussled hair and a nice full beard :) but they do things we love and are our heros for some reason or another at some point.
So what, then, makes this web-place so special? Sure, Dooce is a very cool person, but I'm willing to bet many of us are (we just don't all have the photo and web skilz). The thing that makes this place interesting and unique is more than just the coolness- it's the goddamned naked honesty. To have a woman finally say that having a kid is not always wonderful bliss. To say, hey, my body got tore to hell and back having that kid, and no, my mommy instincts don't keep me from doing stupid shit sometimes but you know what? Despite that I'm going to do it and it's wonderful and messy and beautiful and the messiness makes it all the more beautiful because it's fucking real.
That's why I love you and your family, Heather. I don't know you besides what you show me on this website but you share something real enough that we all keep coming back for more. It's not a perfect neat little miracle. It's big and boisterous and scary and beautiful. Keep up the good goddamn work.
182. Elegant Goose said:
uh, sorry about the long-ass post again.
183. Amanda B. said:
Girl A.- To quote Fish, "You are funny!"
The thing I hate about the internet is that people often think they have a license to be mean or say whatever they want. It's as if they think the people on the receiving end of the statement aren't really people.
Or maybe they just do it because they can.
Anyhoo, it really chaps my hide.
184. not "metrosexual" but knows an Aveda product when he see's o said:
Shit, Goose, you made me tear up. I hate that.
185. Shiz said:
Well said, Goose!
186. Girl.A said:
I know this line is getting old, but it's just so darn useful...
Amanda B., re: chapping of your hide, I think they have a cream for that.
Click on my name, I dare ya.
187. annie said:
she has a twin
188. Amanda B. said:
Oh my! #2 is my all time favorite!
189. Amanda B. said:
But then wait...oh, my eyes! My eyes!
190. Girl.A said:
Oui. C'est Harley-Rendezvous. Parlez-vous french?
I think she was the belle of the "ball". Her coozie reads: Big Momma, non?
191. Shiz said:
That's soooooooo disurbing.
192. Gia said:
I kinda thought the vaccum thing was a good idea! (Does that out me in the stupid category too?)
And I love Leta's hair. I had mine colored just like it today! :)
193. Mari said:
I can so relate to your reaction to the fleas. Our dog was recently diagnosedw with, and I quote, "a RAGING FLEA INFESTATION." The horror! I itched for days.
194. Shiz said:
Raging fleas?
195. Cate said:
Dooce - I love that I can always count on you for a laugh. Chuck stories are the best. I totally want to babysit for you guys so I can experience the Chuck and Leta Circus of Cuteness for myself.
196. CA said:
Now, I may be in the minority here, but I don't find the idea of vacuuming a dog that odd. I mean, my friend's mom does it weekly. Granted, the dog grew up with it, but hey, keeps the hair off the couch, really! Heather, you're just more brilliant than most. Really.
197. Tracy said:
After the 4th time my daughter came home with lice, I actually DID vacuum her head. Forget the sprays, lotions and potions sold at the store -- they did not work. The old nozzle to the head trick was our last desperate measure. Seriously. And it appears to be the only thing that actually worked.
198. coskel said:
ok, well im ALLERGIC to flea bites, and yes, fleas will bite humans (you get lovely little red dots at the ankles, unless you are ME, and then you get massive huge hives...so Dooce, dear, I not only get every flea product on the planet, the cat gets multiple baths (I have the permanent scars to prove it) and then you have to repeat every 21 days against the eggs...oh, the eggs.
Oops, sorry, flashback. Love ya'll, kel
199. fleas said:
Most fleas in an infestation do not reside on the animal.
A typical flea population consists of 50 percent eggs, 35 percent larvae, 10 percent pupae and 5 percent adults. Completion of the life cycle from egg to adult varies from two weeks to eight months depending on the temperature, humidity, food, and species. Normally after a blood meal, the female flea lays about 15 to 20 eggs per day up to 600 in a lifetime usually on the host.
Adult fleas cannot survive or lay eggs without a blood meal, but may live from two months to one year without feeding. There is often a desperate need for flea control after a family has returned from a long vacation. The house has been empty with no cat or dog around for fleas to feed on. When the family and pets are gone, flea eggs hatch and larvae pupate. The adult fleas fully developed inside the pupal cocoon remains in a kind of "limbo" for a long time until a blood source is near. The family returning from vacation is immediately attacked by waiting hungry hordes of fleas. (In just 30 days, 10 female fleas under ideal conditions can multiply to over a quarter million different life stages.)
Newly emerged adult fleas live only about one week if a blood meal is not obtained. However, completely developed adult fleas can live for several months without eating, so long as they do not emerge from their puparia.
200. Shiz said:
200th!
201. JP said:
well said, Goose...
202. tiffi said:
I once lived in a 400-square-foot apartment with three large dogs (see, dooce? you are not the only one confessing stupidity to the Internet). one week I boarded them while I was on vacation, and I returned on a Sunday night before I could pick them up. upon returning to my empty apartment, I walked over to the ancient gas heater and fumbled with it a bit as I always had to, to get it on.
meanwhile, my ankles were itching and I kept scratching them. the itching got worse and worse. I looked down and my legs WERE COVERED WITH A FILM OF LIVING, BITING FLEAS. without my three dogs to munch on, they had resorted to attacking me.
thank GOD I had a can of flea-bomb in the apartment and a friend's house to spend the night at. I vowed never to slack off on flea control again. here in florida, it's a constant battle.
203. A loyal reader said:
Dear Dooce,
Please consider screening your advertisers more thoroughly.
After years of searching, I thought I had finally found it -- right on your front page. The Best Diaper Rash! Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Pinxav's website does not, in fact, offer "The Best Diaper Rash," but rather, the exact opposite: a diaper rash treatment.
The Pinxav people should be ashamed -- I hope you will take this up with them.
Sincerely,
A loyal reader
204. victoria said:
I used to vacuum our dog all the time. She would shed heavily in the spring and I would suck up shedding fur directly from her body, instead of waiting for it to fall to the floor. She didn't seem to mind (she got a little scratching along with the vacuuming because I would rub her with the scrubbing attachment to dislocate loose fur better).
205. acb said:
I still vacuum my dog. In fact, when I vacuum, he thinks it is time for a grooming. Being vacuumed is quite possibly one of his favorite things in the world, and he does a little dance for it. Henry (the dog) also does little dances if you give him a stale bagel. He's really quite graceful for a 70 pound bulldog. *sigh* I can't wait to go home and see him... finals are over in four days!
206. Colleen from NJ said:
Amen to Elegant Goose above.
Not metrosexual:
I see... kind of like me wishing I could be a High Maintenance Chick... but who has the time and the money? Not me.
You know, vaccuums are underrated. I borrowed my dad's Oreck XL once. I was in Vaccuum Heaven.
207. Chris said:
That child prodigy is reenacting a scene from Cocktail. When she pours, she reigns!
208. George Lover said:
fleas: TMI
And. I dream of the day I can work "deconstruct" into my vocabulary.
209. George Lover said:
Dyson beats Oreck hands down.
210. jessica said:
about the fleas:
you would freak if you saw the cockroaches in Texas.
211. Sue From Ohio said:
I have a Dyson Animal and I'ld put money on using the mini-turbine head to clean fleas off Chuck...if that mini-scraper/suction tool doesn't work, nothing will---hell, I'ld put money on just running over Chuck with the whole contraption as long as it didn't harm Mr. Chuckles ;) I could do it to my mastiff but she's about 50x's Chuck...READ: I DO NOT WANT TO HARM CHUCK OR ANY DOG!
212. romy said:
212 comments!?
goodness.
anyway, great story.
****GREAT**** (that's four stars and all caps) picture.
213. leah said:
my mom dressed me in sensible grey wool jumpers, red turtlenecks, kilts, and i had bowl cuts until i was 8 and i was routinely denied frilly dresses and pink clothing and i turned out ok! nearly!
214. Laura said:
My dog used to be terrified of the vaccum until one day I played it up like it was the Best Thing Ever that I was about to start vaccuming. He got all excited and danced around Boxer-style.
When I turned on the machine he started pouncing at it. Now his favorite thing is to bite the crevice tool and get his cheeks sucked in.
And yes, I vaccum him with the brush tool. :)
215. Marti said:
The horror!!
I'd rather talk about poop than fleas.
216. Colleen from NJ said:
Is this true about the Dyson?
217. Scully said:
She's pretty in pink.
Okay, I'm sure it's been used.
Thank you for the flea story. You are funny.
218. Rebekah said:
I have the purple Dyson Animal too and it rocks. I am now thinking of using it on my kids.
219. Anita said:
The vacuum story is hysterical!
Our cats run from it, but our dog attacks it. He's protecting us from the evil noise.
But if we ever tried to actually suction him!! He's a long haired collie; it just wouldn't be good.
220. Amanda B. said:
Oh Chuck. Oh Heather. Oh CHUCK.
Oh...dear...god. The horror.
221. Amber said:
Ugh. I hate fleas. They are so horrible. But there is something WORSE than fleas, Dooce, and do you know what that is?
Ticks. Oh gosh. Ticks.
They are the most disgusting horrible little creatures that *shudder* grace our pets' skin.
The dog I used to have never had ticks (but oh the horror! He did have fleas!) but I have seen people who owned dogs with ticks. Ick. They are so nasty.
Don't feel bad about the vacumn. It seems like a PERFECTLY good idea to me...except, now that I think about it, it would take FOREVER to suck the little snots off of the dog.
I don't think you hurt Chuck. You probably just scared him.
As for me, I used to dress my dog in pretty pink boys and he hated it. I think I mentally scarred him.
Have fun and don't worry, you aren't the ONLY one who would try to vacumn your dog.
Love in Christ,
Amber <><
222. stella said:
My roomate's dog tries to eat the swiffer dry stick.
223. jes said:
your vacuum/flea crisis induced me with a silent, body-shaking giggle. i will still be giggling tonight, as i lay in bed with my sleeping husband, and he will ask me to stop shaking the bed.
224. Laurie G. said:
We just bought a little ski place, and both the dog and my husband got fleas the first time we stayed there. Oops.
Was I wrong to laugh at a grown man getting up at 2:00 in the morning to take a flea bath?
225. LadyBug said:
I've been away for a few hours, and I almost missed all the fun!
Catching up:
First, I've wondered about the Dyson vacuums too; and I think I have a little crush on the Dyson guy...I think it may be the accent.
Second, *Amber* -- Please don't think I'm criticizing, 'cause I'm totally NOT, but your typo, "I used to dress my dog in pretty pink *boys*...I can't stop giggling at the image that conjures up. Teehee
God bless,
LadyBug
226. Eric said:
I too am a geek with a Dyson. They rock, though Mookie never got fleas since we moved to the Frozen Tundra.
227. Sue From Ohio said:
If anyone ever tried to take my Dyson away, I would suck them up and NEVER dump the canister...
Yes, I think my Dyson ROCKS THAT MUCH!!!
(it may sound a bit strange but I actually 'enjoy' vaccuuming now...)
228. Carolyn said:
The only time anyone I knew got a tick it was from UTAH! Well, we noticed the huge bloated thing in Utah on our way back from the Tetons, but I still blame Utah. Those things are beyong disgusting.
Fleas, too, are disgusting. I was sitting down to a cup of decaf and a cookie or two when I read the latest entry. I laughed so hard I was crying. I kept trying to take a sip of coffee, then I read more and laughed so hard I couldn't drink,
That's how good you are Heather. You can keep me from drinking coffee.
229. moose said:
*dressing the dog in little pink boys?!*
Yep, Amber, even though you probably meant something else, it's a hilarious image.
And Goose, you nailed it...
230. Roons said:
From personal experience: Spot On Flea treatment is excellent--1 drop for 3 months! (on your dog/ cat not sure about husbands though) and no, vacuuming lice off your daughter's head will not work.
231. Shiz said:
Speaking of vacuum systems, does anyone have a Rainbow? A friend of mine has one, and I've seen the demo. Amazing little machine.
http://www.rainbowsystem.com/eng/
I am a dork.
232. Carol said:
Goose - you are so right.
GirlA - I love them chaps!
Amanda B. - Hey sistah!
As an aside...This whole Scott Peterson thing is really bumming me out. Not that he got the death penalty, but that it is so f**king sad. The whole bit.
233. Shiz said:
Aiie!
"But you can also use it to gently clean the family dog or cat, gently removing dust, dirt and loose pet hair."
http://www.rainbowsystem.com/eng/tips_5.cfm
They even recommend it!
234. Carol said:
Ahhhh... then I refresh and I'm taken back to a sweet little baby in the mirror and GOOD family lives (mine included) and it makes it better. Sorry to be a buzz-kill. I'm done.
235. kath said:
Wealhtheow, if you ever do put a little girl in a shirt that says I HAVE LABIA, I'll bet most people will think it's a disease.
236. Sheryl said:
Troll the ancient Yuletide *Carol*
237. Carol said:
Fa la la la la...la la la LAAAAAA!!! : )
238. Carol said:
See, Sheryl (and Dooce community)? You just made me laugh after a sad, sad day. Thanks.
239. Sheryl said:
Ok, so I am older than you. ancient may have been an exaggeration.
Beeeg whuppp. ;)
240. Carol said:
Oh, we're not ancient. We're just BEGINNING!! Hubby's gonna come out and say, "you're on AGAIN?!"
241. sherry said:
Too cute!
And really, what is up with children and deoderant? I have to keep mine on top of a bookshelf or else she'll take it and run off with it, leaving it who knows where.
(Also, according to poison control, it isn't toxic if they lick it. Don't ask me why I know this.)
242. Carol said:
sherry - it's GOOD that you know that. and the poison control number... by heart.
BTW, talking about deodorant... have y'all tried Secret Glacier something or other? It smell so good!!
243. twisteduterus said:
fleas the little tattle tales
when I was in high school, my room used to be in the basement
one summer it became flea infested (gross)
that is how my parents found out I was sneeking the dog into my room at night
so much for being a sneeky kid
244. Invisible Gel, Glacier Mist said:
Secret Platinum Protection Antiperspirant & Deodorant
245. So Very Anonymous said:
Aww, she's just beautiful, dooce! I have to admit that at first I thought that was a baby-sized beer bottle. Yeah, I know that's a little twisted. Wait till she's really talking up a storm, so she can start to mortify you in full sentences in public. My daughter made up her own name for deodorant when she was 2 or 3--she called it "nipple polish". I swear I never uttered those words to her, I have no idea how she came up with it. But I'm thinking that it might have something to do with the fact that if she was in the room when I was getting dressed, I'd instinctively turn away to put on a bra and deodorant. She must have figured I was doing something really intriguing. I am so not putting my name on this post.
246. Carol said:
Glacier Mist - That's it!! So you know the olfactory bliss too!
Nipple Polish - hilarious!
My son came up with "Booger Juice" - his nose is always running.
247. Gia on Guam said:
Chainmail Chaps! LOL
248. Super Turtle Girl said:
Leta, you are very pretty...pink is not foofy when you are a baby. I read in Baby Vogue that pink is the new brown which was the old black. White was the old, old black until black became brown...which is now pink.
In other words, pink is cool.
249. Sheryl said:
Gia, ouch - those might chafe a bit!
250. Carol said:
OMG!! Chaimail Chaps! I JUST bought those for my husband for Christmas. They sure do make the package look large.
251. Sheryl said:
Carol,
And I bet if you, umm, make him jiggle his ass, it sounds like jingle bells.
252. Carol said:
Sheryl - LMAO!!
I'm gonna make him jump rope around the living room is what!
253. song said:
shiz - finally someone agrees with me on the whiole head to toe black for babies. all you people giving me funny looks stop right now. It's better than pink.
and whoa to the idea of 1000 online mother-in-laws, that sentance scared the crap outta me.
Dooce - Leta is gorgeous and this photo is amazing in it's composition. I can't believe how grown up she is (am I the only person that thought the deoderant was actually hair removal cream?) But yeah, enough pink, more lime green.
254. song said:
oh and I really can't believe how many peopel vacuum their dogs. I thought my mum like invented that.
255. mouse said:
Uh. My. Gadd.
Shuck - forgitt watt I til yew B4. Gu ahid andd bit thim.
256. Carol said:
New for Christmas... the Lap Pillow....
(hopefully I did the link correctly... I'm a computer idiot)
257. Sheryl said:
Yeah, it worked. Yikes. Japanese culture is a trip.
Look at this one from snopes.com:
supposed to be flesh and underwear painted on clothes but it is a hoax
258. Carol said:
Please, Santa... I've been a good girl (OK, I've opened too many wine bottles, but whatever) and I really REALLY want the skirt from Japan with the awesome ass and almosted-wedged panties in back. Please? Just to shock the hell out of my in-laws. You can watch from the North Pole. It'll be great.
Oh, and World Peace. Thanks.
259. Fish said:
*Fish walks into room, sees open bottles of nipple polish, discarded chainmail chaps, and morbid black-clad babies, and promptly turns around and leaves*
260. Fish said:
There's a counterpart for the lap pillow for the ladies: a disembodied male arm that you can wrap around you.
261. Carol said:
OK, Mother Fish. Come back. Just 'cuz you have a kid now, don't get all (insert good and intellectual and funny word here) on us.
262. Sheryl said:
...to go wipe Everett's sweet but nasty bottom system
263. Fish said:
I believe the word is "uppity."
Just you wait, ladies, or I'll post a pic of the diaper rash that ate manhattan. and THEN you'll be sorry.
264. Amber said:
Oh Ladybug,
Now that I read that, I just crack up. Pretty pink boys? ahhaaaha. I meant *bows*, but I am sure ya understood that. :)
I crack me up sometimes. Thanks for pointing out that. whew. It's been a long day.
265. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Hey, who you callin a LADY??
266. Carol said:
Do you think "uppity" is good enough for Dooce? I don't know.
More unsolicited advice.... A&D ointment. The nectar of the nannies. Works wonders on the miniature twig & berries. It's good, it is.
I know, I know... I never come up with anything original...
267. Carol said:
Oh, God... I'm laughing my ass off, Sheryl... you've awoken Sherly and she's NOT a lady...
268. Fish said:
I reckon we's gots to go up to that thar big city to see us some of them thar pretty pink boys.
269. Carol said:
Come on in, Heather. The water's FINE!!!
270. Fish said:
We're way past the A&D and are at the point where we need to blow dry the boy's butt.
That's right, I said it:I BLOW DRY MY SON"S ASS.
Furthermore, just because I BLOW DRY MY SON"S ASS doesn't mean I'm a pretty pink boy, neither.
271. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Pink Boys = Testicles
272. Fish said:
Sherly, you ain't no lady, is you?
273. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Bout as much a "lady" as you are. Ok, maybe less. Talkin couth not plumbing.
Carol can vouch for that. The couth part.
274. Carol said:
But, have you SLATHERED? I mean, really slathered? That's what it takes. Cake that shit on.
Otherwise, you might just have to have him hang out for a few 30-minutes a day without no nappy on. You know, to air out the place. All those crevices. Geez, boys are tough.
How old is he now? It's REALLY tough when they are so little. But they are resilient and will not break. And the crying... it hurts you more than them. Usually.
275. Carol said:
No, Carol cain't vouch for no plumbin on Sherly.
276. Fish said:
slather, yes. Hang him out to dry? I fear it.
He has the tendency, common in many tots, to "evacuate the premises", if you know what I mean, when the cool air reaches the ole bottom system.
Oops, gotta go, the the lil' feller's waking up for the next feeding.
277. Carol said:
WTF, Sherly... you jus knows about ever goddam thang...black holes, dolly parton... does it never end?
278. Carol said:
Fish... have him hang out on his tummy for a few seconds (good for him, BTW) then turn him over and just put a cloth diaper over his little wee system. Easy AND breezy.
279. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Ah'm jus wack, ah tell ya.
My stepdad and mom listened to ole Dolly in the 70s when Ah was a wee tot. And that song runs through my head ever'time I hear that woman's name.
280. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Oh, I thought "evacuate the premises" meant Rocket Yams.
281. Carol said:
My Momma and Daddy... Fleetwood Mac and Randy Newman. Southern Potsmokers. No, not really. God, my Dad's pissed right now.
Actually, I think he LOVES this whole Dooce thing. Good for the soul, ya know?
282. Libby said:
Did you take Leta somewhere to get her bangs cut or did you do it yourself? I guess it went well, or we'd have heard the story.
283. Carol said:
FYI... MORE UNSOLICITED ADVICE...mothers who want to trim bangs... don't do it with buzz cutters applied directly to the forehead... reason #1... eyebrows.
284. Gia on Guam said:
Fish, You need this ^^ for that daiper rash.
285. Shiz said:
Super Turtle Girl (248) ... so freaking funny.
286. Carol said:
Yes, Super Turtle Girl.. never clicked on your name. You are a true super hero!! I especially love your pouty-mouth superpower.
287. Jenny said:
This is where I admit that I too have contemplated vacuuming fleas off my dog in the past. I never followed through, mostly because I was still living at home, and I figured my parents would flip - but I've seriously considered it.
288. George Lover said:
Closeted flea-vacuumers unite!
289. too true. said:
Fleas suck. Where I live they are a summer annoyance that must be dealt with with Advantage (sheeze, I sound like an ad for crying out loud) or my dog will scratch himself bloody. Not pretty.
Bet Chuck is happy to be in Utah where the fleas do not subject him to torture via vacuum.
My dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner if only because my husband will chase him around with it if he is not fearful enough. Sigh... Some kids never grow up.
290. Zoom907 said:
Wow...I love the part about how your precious daughter lives with Chuck...and Chuck lives with his ass. So...your daughter lives with Chuck's ass. Kinda puts it all in perspective! I never thought I'd get that sort of insight in Utah! THANKS! s
291. eco2geek said:
Although I will probably be banned from this board for life for saying this, it sure looks like Leta's playing with a beer bottle and a sex toy.
;)
292. Caroline said:
I know I'm a little late with this, but www.uncommongoods.com has little...well...wee wee teepees I think they're called. They go over the ...tatertot and peas... so nothing squirts ya. I think they even have holiday ones.
293. Danielle said:
You know, why do you need teepees when there are dixie cups?
but then again, perhaps the teepees are more stable.
294. Jill said:
FLEAS. ARE. FUCKING. GROSS. Poor Chuck, Scarred for life with that one. Good thing you make it up to him in other ways.
295. Fish said:
Ah yes, Operation Suction Dog. Another in a long line of household paramilitary maneuvers, like Operation Whack the Bat; Operation Kill da Mouse; and Operation Baby Shield.
Wee-wee tents and dixie cups are good for that last one.