On the count of three: three, two, one...
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. ali said:
ha! first! :P
2. beachgal said:
what the heck?
3. Jenie said:
Ouch! too bright!
4. Cheryl said:
Lovely...
5. Stacey said:
First! woo
6. Molly said:
Ye-ouch! That is just way to bright for my eyes this AM.
7. ali said:
i don't know , but in the small box it sure looks pretty.
8. Circus Kelli said:
LOL... I like that picture! :)
It makes me smile.
That's what I love about your site, Dooce -- there is something here that makes me smile every day!
Thank you!
9. Cheryl said:
Dooce,
You take such good pictures all the time, however, I think Chuck got a hold of your camera!! If he's not licking the couch, he's taking pictures, maybe the NO'S that aren't working on Leta will work on Chuck!
10. ali said:
isn't it scary how many people are on this site at 7am??
it's 11am here, what's your excuse? :P
11. Erin said:
BRIGHT LIGHT!! BRIGHT LIGHT!!!
http://members.tripod.com/~animalspirit1/gremlinssirdydimus.html
12. Stacey said:
Err...not first. Stupid connection.
Ali, it's 9 am here. ;)
13. redsaid said:
Dooce, you must sometimes sit there and refresh your page a couple of times after posting your picture just to see how many suckers fall over themselves to comment. Seriously, it's quite amusing to see that the count goes up by like 100 after just one or two refreshes (refreshers?).
14. Colleen from NJ said:
You capture the moment your head explodes so beautifully.
15. Matt in London said:
am I too early to be last?
16. RazDreams said:
*CarolAnne, don't go into the light!!!*
So you and someone else (GEORGE! or Beth?) took a picture of one another at precisely the same moment? Neato-roo.
17. christy said:
Ok - now dooce is just messing with us to see who will say "Ohmigod! What a beautiful photo!"
Right? Right?
18. lulu cornichon said:
It looks like someone holding the sun with oven mitts.
"It's always so cold and dark in here"
"Wait! I have an idea! I'll be right back."
19. Sarah said:
Tabloid Headline:
SHOCKING ALIEN ABDUCTION CAUGHT ON FILM!!
20. Carol said:
I'm just glad I'm not hungover this morning. Sheryl - how were the Pixies?
21. Lora said:
My head did that just last Friday!
22. Melanie S said:
I wonder if Leta thinks that you look like the Nikon D70, what with it always being in front of your face.
We love you Dooce!
23. bb said:
I always try to catch you post the pic up but alas no.
fab pic
24. Sherri said:
It looks like someone took an eraser to that picture. And just erased and erased and erased.
25. Circus Kelli said:
Colleen from NJ -- That is so funny! I guess that's what happens when she says "No" to Leta and Leta is all "Sure, Mom, whatever, stand back, I'm pitching votives here..."
lulu cornichon -- Just holding the sun with oven mitts is one thing, but your added dialogue makes it PERFECT!
I thought it was a picture with a flash taken in the mirror...
Oh, and for the record, it's nearly 8:30am here in Chicago, IL.
26. Kimberley H. said:
Another example of why my inner photographer lives vicariously through this site. What made you think of that?
27. MrsDoF said:
for Carol at #20 today
Sheryl's description is Comment 266 of the Previous Post.
Dooce and Jon, my bi-focals got a work-out this morning with your pictures. Somebody's havin' some fun with gadgets. Thanks!
28. LT said:
Next up she should take pictures of floaters, a.k.a. "gifts" left behind in the toilet. Maybe by GEORGE! for extra credit. ;)
29. Ali said:
Reminds me of poltergeist.
Come in to the light, Heather (Ann. Even though that's not your middle name, but shh. It works for my scenario).
The little thumbnail was sort of a tease, though. I was like OOH SHINY COLORS. LET'S PRETEND WE'RE A STONER FOR A SECOND. OOH SHINY. SPARKLES.
(Excuse the delirium - I have been awake for the past 26 hours studying for an exam I have in an hour)
30. Sarah said:
I think I see the Virgin Mary.
31. Sarah said:
Ali: Good luck on your exam! Then get some sleep!
32. Carol said:
thanks, Mrs. DoF.. hadn't checked.
33. Lori J said:
Beautiful. You have such a great eye for these things. I would hang that on my wall.
34. Ali said:
Thanks Sarah! I agree with you about the Virgin Mary. That piece of grilled cheese was a fluke, the real Virgin Mary is definitely in this picture. Heather, EBAY is your friend.
35. HazelEyedPisces said:
It's a camera war! My mom and mother-in-law did the same thing at our wedding. It was the first time that my mom, the national sales leader for the "other" leading cosmetic company, showed a sense of humor.
36. happy to live in one of the blue states said:
I just put this window in a corner (or hide it) and then refresh it during breaks. Sometimes I don't even read the comments, just watch the count change!
37. Kate said:
Is that Leta taking a picture of you taking a picture of Leta?
38. august95 said:
Hey I have a picture just like that one.
39. Caroline said:
Ali, you sound like me. Starbucks coffee. Lots of Starbucks coffee.
40. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
"They're heeeeeeerrrrrrre..."
41. sweetney said:
hey wasn't this scene in Close Encounters of the Third Kind?
wait -- is that...Amelia Earhart?!?!
42. ling said:
hahaha work of art!
43. Sheryl said:
*It's up to me now turn on the bright lights*
*(got to be some more change in my life)*
Interpol
44. Sissychong said:
Mom.....come on just a few more minutes? Please shut the light off. {{pulls covers over head}}
45. Jeremy said:
Now, that is one powerful sneeze. Bless you. And make sure to wipe and wash your hands after that one.
46. Em said:
Baby, you radiate.
47. Jessie said:
So is this a contest to see who can post the first comment? Is that why you're perusing this site at the butt crack of dawn? Do you have anything to say about Dooce's extremely interesting and witty narratives?
Hmmm...that picture looks oddly familiar.
48. Laurie said:
After having pulled a all-nighter writing a brief on who owns the Elgin marbles...that picture was like someone punching me in the eyeballs. My retnas! :)
49. Private Sheryl of the Geek Squad said:
Carol, the Pixies r.o.c.k.e.d.
I actually cried a few times during the concert it was so unbelievably good. Reminded me of my early twenties, ah - a different world. I was straight edge then, no tequila. Didn't help that they played Piper At The Gates of Dawn (Pink Floyd's first album, before Syd lost it) as the pre-amble.
The set was about 2 hours straight without a break and they were just so tight, but you know, tight in the way people who've been playing with one another for many years are tight. Not edgy tight, like seeing Helmet during their first big tour. Not blistering and vulnerable tight like Interpol the first time I saw them in NY, like the singer might cry himself during "NYC".
Mark made the comment the Pixies seemed like an old married foursome, what with Frank's jiggly buddha belly, and the fact that he and Joey Santiago both shaved their heads. I thought so too, but because they did it so well. It's like when you've been with someone so long and the performance started out good and stayed good, you still know how to make them come hard without breaking a sweat, even after all these years and even with a blubbergut.
And Mark said "Kim Deal looked like a soccer mom, but not the way Kim Gordon of Sonic youth does. Deal's not that cool. But she can still *rock the fuckin house*."
Gives me hope for you, he added with a wink. Then we jumped in the shower and sang a duet of "Waves of Mutilation" and went to bed.
50. RH said:
George!
51. Rebekah said:
Sarah! Oh my god that is too funny!!
52. ADD said:
Wood paneling...I dig it the most! Good times in the rec room....
53. Gordon said:
The Rapture! The Rapture is here!
P.s. I am calling Child Welfare...Chuck needs to be saved.
54. becky said:
now that's timing! or a mirror. i'm not sure which.
55. Julie said:
Heather -
Do you use Internet picture printers like ofoto, shutterfly, etc. ever? If so, when you do the Dooce effect, does it ever come out right? I'm truly a novice, but am trying to learn...Thanks for any advice!
56. Carol said:
Sheryl- sounds amazing and you are hilarious!! I'm glad you and Mark (Uncle Mark?) had fun.
57. TracyDee said:
It's THE RAPTURE!!! :)
58. The Mighty Jimbo said:
its like cocoon. only with drunk people.
59. Caro said:
Julie-
I did my Christmas cards on Shutterfly this year (cheap is good) and did the Dooce Effect (thanks Heather... I actually felt a little guilty using someone else's "effect"). Anyway, they came out nice. I 'm not so sure the quality is all that it could be, but the image looks a lot better (my kids look a lot more angleic) than it did before.
60. Sarcastic Journalist said:
exploding dooce. now we're talking festive!
61. Michael said:
Finally someone mentioned the Rapture. I was thinking this picture obviously called for some mention of how someone has transcended the mortal plane and become a SuperMormon Cherabim (wrong spelling, right?) or something.
62. Scott said:
At Albertsons, just tell them your phone number when they ask for your preferred card. I lost my card soon after I got it.
63. Slim said:
Dooce: This explosion of the head must be your interpetation of you not being able to find your keys. You know if you ask out loud where keys were he would have brought them to you:-)
64. Joe said:
I read the title in my rss feeds and immediately screamed "George!!!" for some reason.
65. beachgal said:
I thought it was Leta that hid the keys. Chuck has half eaten books? Hmm.
66. Gia said:
Look at that smile! I knew you had a big smile lurking in there somewhere! ;)
67. Heatheranne said:
I have pictures like that, except I was really drunk when I took them because in my drunken state I believed that I looked really hot and wanted to capture it on film.
68. Mrs.Stray said:
I think Snow White's head just exploded.
69. Sheryl said:
I think it's cool when the resulting image of a light effect is partly absolute white space.
If it was printed on paper, nothing would be printed there. So if you think of an printed image as kind of being a membrane, or a skin, a print of this membrane/image would have an irregular hole in the center.
There would literally be an opening into the space on the printed page - or through the membrane.
70. kristine said:
This is a picture of what Leta thinks her mom looks like.
"My mommy has long legs and a big, bright, flashy face."
71. Carol said:
Pass that big fat one, Sheryl. I want a hit!! : )
72. Caroline said:
Puff puff pass! Sheryl, quit hoggin it!
73. JulieT said:
Heavenly Mormon Heather!
74. dooce said:
this is not a picture of me. it wasn't taken in front of a mirror. this is a picture of Nikki taking a picture of me. story to follow soon, if the babysitter's car doesn't break down again.
ps. story involves large amount of tequila.
75. Carol said:
http://absastro.tripod.com/bluegrass/dueling2.htm
(you gotta give it a few seconds)
76. jules said:
oh my,, i see the virgin mary in the light! i'm totally selling you on ebay! :P
77. Andreah said:
Ahh! my eyes, my eyes!
78. Super Turtle Girl said:
Blinding! I almost see those flashing red lights. You people and your cameras.
79. Cheryl said:
In almost every roll of film I have a picture like this... and for some reason or another someone's ass. It always happens intentional or not!
80. jodi-no-blog said:
TICKLE ABUSE!!!!!!!!
Its a real thing people... I have 3 older brothers, and they would sit on me and tickle me until I either couldn't breathe or I peed myself.
OH. WHAT. FUN.
I think I even stated "do not EVER tickle me" to my husband on our first date. It is a LAW in my house as well.
81. Sarah said:
I also hate being tickled...only one brother, and he was evil about it...it would HURT, people. Red splotches all over my belly from his fingers digging into my skin.
Ironically(or evily), I find torturing someone else by tickling to be EXTREMELY good fun.
82. Kieran said:
I see the Light!
83. JuJuBee said:
so you'll be needing a sitter then?
84. Susie said:
GRAB THE POWER!!!!
dooce, you give us such fun things to say! To EXCLAIM!!!!, I mean.
85. blu said:
i love the title for your tickling story...
"its gettin..its gettin..its gettin kinda hectic"
86. wealhtheow said:
A bit of _unsolicited advice:_ I've always found making a hideous and most pitiful high-pitched screeching noise works well in a tickling situation. If I'm good, I can get the cat to join in (on the screeching, not the tickling).
87. Mary said:
Eww. Tickling sucks. Every single time I get tickled I wet myself, but my boyfriend thinks it's funny, so he tickles me all the time anyway. I hate it. It means I have to either do laundry or wear pee soaked pants and I usually opt for the latter.
88. Caroline said:
_hmmm_
89. Sheryl said:
I've got the *power*
Oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah
Gettin' kinda heavy
It's gettin' it's gettin' it's gettin' kinda hectic
Snap.
Ya gots ta do whot ya gots ta do.
Fuck tha Police. *Carpe Nads*
90. Dammit Sami said:
One time I tickled my mom so much, she threw up. I feel bad about that now.
Are women genetically more ticklish? I start to squeal if someone even looks at my ass with tickle-intent. Yet I know no men with this problem.
91. gardens grey said:
One time my first daughter dropped the keys in the sink and they fell into the garbage disposal. I won't even tell you how long it took to find them.
92. Laura said:
My dad did that hold-down-and-tickle- until-I-cried move when I was growing up. Tickling is now an unforgivable sin in my marriage. It shalt not happen. Ever. Luckily Mr. understood this from the beginning.
93. Carol said:
I abhor, hate, loathe being tickled. At. All. Ever!! And when someone grabs the bottom of your thigh when you're sitting? That SUCKS.
But my kids LOVE it!! I'm always ticking them roughly but very softly and in little spurts (because I just can't believe they are enjoying it) and they giggle and giggle and roll around and love it.
Speaking of big sib torture... my big sister used to hold me down and drop spit almost on my face and then suck it back up. She really loved to do it after she'd just had some chocolate milk.
ugh, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
94. Danielle said:
//Ok - now dooce is just messing with us to see who will say “Ohmigod! What a beautiful photo!â€//
hahaa I thought the same thing.
95. hazmat said:
I came across this link and it seemed appropos to post it here - what with this being the "now with more cowbell" site. It's a skit from SNL featuring... THE COWBELL.
http://mknx.com/v/cowbell.wmv
96. Jen said:
I don't know what's funnier. The grabbing story itself, or the fact that it is filed under a category called Nubbin.
Jon's poor nubbin
97. MrsDoF said:
Didn't Jon speak in his wedding vow "I will Love, Honor, and Cherish"
He must hold to this promise.
98. Big Gay Sam said:
Has anyone else noticed how the comments are getting to be a bit... oh how do I put this .. manic?
99. Sheryl said:
. . . . . . . . .
But I do like the photo - not for aesthetics as much as the story - Dooce looking back at teenage life and Nikki looking forward to motherhood, both eras different/cooler than remembered/expected.
Carol & Caroline, I do NOT do drugs. Besides red wine and liquor.
100. Tracy said:
Yeah, the pin-down-and-tickle-till-choking was second only to the fingers-in-ribcage "electric shock!" in my older brother's lexicon of favorite tortures. Telling my husband not to tickle me and DAMMIT I MEAN IT usually makes him do it a couple more times more out of sheer contrariness... Next time, I'm SO grabbing the POWER.
101. LadyBug said:
*Carpe Nads* may be my new favorite expression. Teehee
102. Caroline said:
Yea sure, you don't inhale, I get it.
I prefer fruity white wine and liquor. But that's just me.
103. Shiz said:
There's an ANGEL in your photograph!
Gotta go repent now.
104. Sarah said:
MANIC???
Manic!? Seriously?
I would so tickle you if you were here right now.
105. Becca said:
I hear you on the tickle war thing. I learned a long time ago that we hold the power in our hands. mwhahaha
106. dave said:
Excellent observation Jen #96. But I'm sure that Jon would prefer his "bathing suit area" to be referred to as "THE POWER" rather than "nubbin"
107. Mrs.Stray said:
We have tickle names.
His is the Ticklemonster and I am Tittlelina. If he asks me if I know who he is I had better respond accordingly, or get him before he gets me.
108. k syrah said:
The tease looks cool...
The tickling thing: my older brother locked me in a sleeping bag and tickled me until....I lost many brain cells. At least that's the excuse I'm using.(wearing out?)
Colleen from NJ: *smile*
Dooce et al: *smile* Have you ever tried mescal? NOT mescaline, folks...
109. Alicia said:
My husband now knows from years of experience if he even wiggles his fingers near my feet I will scream. At the top of my lungs, nonstop, until he is out of range. I HATE being tickled, but my feet are the worst. I stop breathing. It's not pretty.
110. Amanda B. said:
Oh. I thought it was a picture of Dooce taking a "picture" of "us". I was all ready- mooning the camera and whatnot. How embarassing.
I feel the same way about tickling. People assume that because you are laughing that you are on some level enjoying it. Wrong wrong wrong.
Sheryl- Carpe Nads- :)
111. Cristy said:
I miss seeing your stories everyday, but I guess since you moved home you get out more. Bummer for us. Maybe I should get out more eh? lol
112. brodie said:
Jesus? Is that YOU ?!?
113. mandy said:
I think children, for the most part, are much more comfortable and familiar with not being in control of their bodies every second. Also, tickling games can help them become more aware of their bodies.
For adult women, often we have lingering mistrust of giving up our control from sometime between childhood and adulthood. It's not comfortable to be vulnerable like that anymore, especially if dating games or sexual rituals involve females being tickled and being overwhelmed by feelings while males are in control.
By the time boys become men they are very good at keeping feelings about physical vulnerability shut-down pretty tight. Except about the nads.
114. Kellie said:
I was blessed with the ability to focus through tickling and not be affected. My poor husband, however, was not, and one of the great joys of my life is tickling him. He makes the most horrifying and obscene noises (imagine, if you will, putting your car in neutral with the cruise control set at 75) that I have ever heard. It's cruel, I know, but oh so much fun.
115. Mrs.Stray said:
Not all women have a problem being vulnerable and giving a man complete control. I recomend women do it more often.
116. Girl.A said:
Non-consensual tickling is a crime of power, not a laughing matter.
117. J said:
You're site is brilliant. I have been laughing my ass off all afternoon! I'm glad I chanced upon your site. :)
118. becky said:
i was kidding about the mirror part, dooce! ;)
119. Liz said:
Just thought everyone should know that some little snot nosed rooky designer stole Dooce's tagline "now with more cowbell" go to
http://www.michaelstecker.com/archives/2004/12/current_site_is.php
to see....yeah, and he stole the entire site desgin from
www.jasonsantamaria.com
could this kid me any more of an idiot!?!?!?!?!
post a comment on his site to help him get the idea of why all of this is wrong.
120. Moxie said:
From the looks of it, a Boobah spontaneously combusted at Dooce's house.
121. Stacy said:
My exboyfriend tickled me so much I had an asthma attack. It was embarassing, but now I never get tickled because I just fake a wheeze.
122. mihow said:
There seems to be a lot of penis talk going around today. I hope it's not something in the air. That'd be gross.
123. Now with more cowbell said:
No to take away from the Dooce's possible orgination of the phrase "Now with more cowbell"...
There are a lot of sites that have included the phrase "Now with more cowbell".
The skit "More Cowbell" originated on SNL in 2003.
124. Taylor said:
Interesting how the light in the picture is the same white as your background but only the picture makes me wince. I CAN'T STOP SCROLLING UP AND LOOKING AT IT.
125. sweetisu said:
Ow my eyes! What the heck is that? After all these years of bragging about 20/20 vision, I’ll need glasses real soon. And it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!
Grab the POWER. Hee hee.
Yes the power is in you. OK that was too gross/graphic.
126. Now with more cowbell said:
Correction: it aired in 2000.
See dooce's entry from 9/7/2004 in the Redesign category titled "I've Got a Fever".
127. Emilie said:
This is what I received back from my boyfriend when I forwarded Dooce's "It's gettin' kinda hectic" post:
_"You should not be reading such feminist propaganda, it is bad for you to even joke of such things……"_ I guess that shows so much about him. I'm glad he's only kidding.
Heather - your picture today is interesting. It does make my eyes dilate a bit, however - I am looking forward to your story about it.
Thanks for a great, funny, addicting site!
128. Eric Bostrom said:
God that poor guy. Is it just me or is there a particularly high level of testicular dooce-abuse going on lately?
129. Laurel 825 said:
It's the angels, Mickey, comin' down from Heaven. And I see you ridin' a big, white Mormon.
130. Amanda B. said:
Many a testicle has to fall...
but it's all in the game...
doobee doobee doooo...
131. Jazzy said:
I've seen the light. Prissly lights whoa!
132. me? I'm a nobody said:
LAST!
So, there!
HA!
and, !!!!!!!!!!! france
133. eeyore-na said:
I think whether the tickle thing is fun or not depends upon the willingness of the "tickle target." (See how legal this all sounds? :)
In tickling, NO MEANS NO!
There should one of those vintage hygiene films on this somewhere, but I can't find it.
134. karinka said:
"How are we going to shop now, huh? HOW ARE WE GOING TO SHOP NOW?"
This quote totally reminds me of an outtake from "Waiting for Guffman" when Parker Posey's character is auditioning for the play. She yells "Who's on top and who's on bottom now, huh? Who's on top and who's on bottom now?!" I love Parker Posey...and Dooce.
135. Julie said:
Caro- Thanks for answering my ? about the dooce effect and printing. I need desperating to make my daughter look more angelic to get my MIL off my ass!
136. becaru said:
Tickling in any form is just thinly-veiled hostility. I applaud your plan for putting a stop to it!
137. Julie said:
Caro - that is "desperately" I tried to spell, not "desperating!!!" It's been one looooooooong day...
138. Colleen from NJ said:
Sheryl,
Did you say "Piper..." from old Pink Floyd? Wow...you lucky, lucky girl. I am crying just reading your comment.
And, to everyone: Don't forget to get out the vote today:
http://2004weblogawards.com/
best essayist catagory
You know, if the tickler ignores the "SAFE WORD", it is only right to use THE POWER.
139. Shiz said:
Nikki's cute.
140. GEORGE! said:
nope, not me
141. Toad said:
Doesn't "On the count of three" mean when you say "Three" you um, do the thing? On Three?
142. Melanie S said:
I actually broke up with a guy that would pin me down and tickle me until I cried. In my case it was a form of abuse. (I can't believe I just posted that on the internet!) He did it because he knew that I hated it and he would do it EVERY time until I cried.
I hope he zips his POWER up in his zipper after a puppy with razor sharp teeth bites into it while he's sitting on the floor puting his socks on as he gets ready for work! Ha! (because, really, who the hell has to sit on the floor to get their socks on?)
Take that tic-tack weenie man!
143. bb said:
I LOVE your posts about tickling. I always show them to my boyfriend, since he seems to have the biggest problem with needing to tickle me. He needs to know about the law.
144. sherry said:
Now is it "Three, two, one, click"? or "Three, two, and click on the one"?
145. honestyrain said:
i detest being tickled. the problem is, i laugh when tickled even though i HATE it. i am getting madder and madder and really crying and screaming inside but there i am laughing and my attacker thinks we are having oh so much fun. until i kick punch hit grab. i will defend my self by any means when tickled. any means.
146. Kellie said:
I disagree with some of the thoughts on tickling. First of all, if I was tickling someone until they cried or vice versa, then someone needs a big time out and an explanation on personal space and understanding where the line is. When my hubby & I engage in tickling each other, it's not hostile, it's not violent, it's playful and fun and as soon as either says "stop" it stops. I suppose it could be a form of hostility but I don't think tickling in general should be catergorized that way. I can't believe I just spent 3 minutes defending tickling. I need a break. I need to go home. I need to get tickled.
147. Sheryl said:
Does one need a drink of Tequila to understand the countdown for this PHOTO DUEL? I understand perfectly. Unless Dooce's mention of the involvement of Tequila was referring to the babysitter...
It makes sense she would set the rules going one way and then count backwards. It's "Tequila Thinking", as my BF calls it.
AND NO, Carol, he is not "Uncle Mark". What kind of perv do you think I am? Showering with my uncle.
P.S. I am betting the photo Nikki took of Dooce, if we ever see it, will not include flash coming from the infamous D70. On-camera flash is not photo-aesthete style.
148. Girl.A said:
Tickling is awesome as long as it is consensual.
149. christy said:
Next thing you know they'll be letting the gays tickle. What would Jesus think, people?
And then people will be tickling their dogs and three people will be tickling at once and that's not the kind of world I want my children living in.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
150. lulu cornichon said:
Oh my.
I thought I remembered something about (unwelcome) tickling being defined as a form of torture under international law, so I Googled it.
I guess I forgot that the internet is 99.44% porn.
There's a fetish for everything. Even tickling. Yikes. Never mind.
151. hottttie said:
AHHH THE LIGHT IS BLINDING AHHHHH
I'm sorry, but what the hell is that?
152. kim said:
you know, when i step off the plane in chicago tomorrow night after travelling for about 18 hours and finally see my man again after 335 looong days, he can tickle me ALL HE WANTS. just sharing my excitement!!! with the exclamation marks OF GERMANY!
153. Coquette said:
The red coat. The black gloves. Here comes Santa Claus, folks.
154. Emily said:
Christy, your post is hilarious.
But isn't it interesting how many posts there are from people who've been tickled against their will?
OF COURSE, all tickling isn't bad, *even S&M tickling,* as long as it is desired by the Tickle-ee. Touching people as they expressly tell you not to touch them is bad.
Just for fun, try this with all the tickling stories on this page, both pro and con:
Swap all the "tickle" words with "forcably fondled" or "bitchslapped" and see what that sounds like.
If you like it, you like it, if you don't, you don't.
155. Sara said:
My husband doesn't understand the trauma I've suffered from the tickling hands of an older brother and various uncles, either. I feel your pain. Being tickled is never fun. He deserves what he gets.
156. Shiz said:
My husband just gets too into it, so it hurts. Otherwise I SPAZ OUT but I like tickling within reason.
I do so need a safe word, though. WORD.
157. Laura said:
You know how they train baby elephants not to wander away by putting a big heavy chain on their leg so they can't break it and then when they grow up into big strong adult elephants trainers can put a little rope around their leg and they won't break it because they're so used to the thing on their leg being unbreakable?
Not tickling like that. A man much bigger than me doesn't need to know what it feels like to use his weight to hold me down. Even in tickling.
158. Do you want to keep your _______? said:
Safewords - Nads. Gonads. Testis. Balls, nuts, cajones, cool beans, nards, batter bag, bollocks, basket, cullions, family jewels, meat sack, man-ovaries, private parts, privates, rocks, scrotum, in-sperm-ary.
Or how about mixed, chopped nuts? Crushed rocks. Mashed nads.
159. Kathy said:
I hated being tickled as a child, laughing so hard it HURT!!! I told my daughter to tell people "don't tickle me, I'll pee!" And guess what, she does pee if you tickle her. But it really puts a stop to that evil tickling after you've been peed on a few times!
160. Dana said:
"That, and they weren’t embarrassed at all to hold a thirty minute conversation on the cultural significance of a “Real World†cast member."--WHICH ONE??!!
"...and then you should just stick to that instead of revealing to everyone in the room that you once tried out for a reality dating show..." --WHICH ONE??!!
Are the two question marks followed by the two exclamation points too obnoxious? At first, I had three of each, and deemed that WAY too annoying, but, now, looking at two of each, I can't tell? I mean, I want to convey "Oh my god, I could totally be into that conversation, please give more details!" BUT, I don't want to sound like that loser in grade school that was always left out of secret telling and would come up behind you as you were leaning to a friend to tell the next secret. Like, so, he could try to hear? But then he couldn't? And would still try to find out what you were saying...by asking more questions? You know? No? Okay.
I apologize. It's Friday. I'm drunk.
161. U.B. said:
I myself detest being tickled almost as much as I detest having my nads threatened, or worse, actually attacked.
But I DO like tickling my own little kids because the belly laughs are just too cute. But I don't do it for more than a second or two because I don't want to add to the other emotional baggage I assume I'm causing. Should save them a year or two in therapy when they hit their 30's...
162. Andreah said:
I want to be friends with Ryan and Nikki, but hey! Will their interview with you be online somewhere?
I am in love with the chucks ass and dirty watch scenario. It makes me feel better when I find a black lab hair in my daughters diaper.
163. Sheryl said:
Wow, do I ever know what you mean:
"they haven’t yet been spoiled by years of working in corporate America". Shit.
Not that I've been spoiled yet, but *Ah sho nuff do know what Massa like.*
Sounds like you had fun.
164. JP said:
damn that was funny...
165. lavonne said:
my secret weapon against hyperactive ticklers has always been farts. loud, SMELLY farts. turns 'em off every time.
166. lavonne said:
oh. and i just remembered. my older son rather forcefully informed me that there would be NO MORE tickling when he was about 14. it was hard but i broke the habit until the younger one came along... and then lo and behold, HE did the same thing at age 14. i mentioned the thing about his older brother and said, "interesting that you both wanted me to stop tickling at the same age," and he looked at me significantly and said, "mom. think about it."
and after about 30 seconds i was like, "ooohhhh!"
167. GirlA. said:
Yeah, nobody wants to get an involuntary chubby in front of their mom.
168. ryan said:
am I last? I love a good story about four ex-mormons drinking together. god I love hearing that. and the next best thing is actually being apart of it. God bless ex-mormons everywhere! (preferably in the form of more booze and naked women (everywhere)).
169. Stacey said:
Four women?
What are the logistics of that sort of thing? ;)
170. GirlA. said:
Is it evil to wish the story included Heather and Nikki skinny dipping? Ok, too cold in Utah for that. I'm not a Mormon or ex-Mormon, but I was hoping for something like some snow graffiti.
171. Gia on Guam said:
lavonne: Too FUNNY!
I have not been traumatized by over tickling as a child but I don't enjoy it either. In fact, I don't enjoy an overly light touch (which feels like tickling) or massage. I think the perfect touch is that of rubbing in lotion.
172. Danielle said:
damn, there's another Danielle (at 10:43) :-(
maybe I should come up with some creative new name for myself...
I just can't quite bring myself to post as "Danielle from MA" and I just don't feel like "Boston Danielle".
guess I'll have to contemplate the world of flora and fauna to see if something strikes a chord.
Anyway,
The picture reminded me of the line from E.T.
"Bright light! Bright light!"
Oh, and I looked out the window today, Sheryl, and thought how funny it is that you are just across the city.... and it made Boston feel a little warmer and friendlier than some days.
173. Caroline said:
Wow, Ryan is hot.
174. twaci said:
i honestly don't know who hid your keys -- leta or chuck??? 'cause i don't think leta could EAT a plastic card, at least not enough to make it inoperable, and yet i doubt chuckles would have the wherewithall (or opposable thumbs) to pick up a set of keys, unless he did it with his teeth. but if he did that, i'd have to see it to believe it.
i can ramble like that because i'm the 174th poster and no one in their right freakin mind is reading all the way to the bottom. basically, i'm talking to myself. cool.
175. bluecheese said:
excellent timing!
176. Gia on Guam said:
I have you all beat in terms of being the earliest...it's Saturday here.
177. LadyBug said:
twaci...you're not talking to yourself. There are those of us whose husbands work the night shift and who are bored and lonely and don't want to go to bed alone on a Friday night, so whilst we wait for said hubby to come home from the night shift, we check in at Dooce and read alllll the comments, especially those way down at the bottom, because we've already read all the other ones, since we check in at Dooce about eleventy hundred times a day...........or is it just me? Have I overshared again? Okay...well, um, _nevermind then._
_Changing the subject, with nary a segue in sight..._
Dooce, do YOU read all the comments, even the ones waaaaaaaaaay down here?
178. Mrs.Stray said:
Wow. College kids rock.
179. Fran said:
That's what happens when you drink with non-Mormons who have cameras. I think some kind of underground movement is forming.
180. s said:
OMG #1. Am I first? Whee I'm first.
dooce pay attention to me. dooce do you mind if we use this as our own personal message board? DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCE!!!!!
How do you stand it?
181. me? I'm a nobody said:
OMG! I am last. you love me. You really do love me.
182. Dipali said:
Haa ! Im the last ! and nobody loves you 'me? I'm a nobody ' .. >:|
183. Dipali said:
Im still trying to figure out what she is wearing !
184. tickled said:
Ye gods! Never dreamed my internet handle would become the leading subject of Friday's posts! I've had it forever, I mean it in the sense of pleased, not physically ticled. Just incidentally, I'm not the LEAST BIT ticklish. Where are all these supersentive types and their respective torturers coming from?
Incidentally, what with all the gay and top-or-bottom posts, I'm reminded of this one:
A curious gay guy named Broome
Took a lesbian up to his room
As they got into bed
Each one turned and said,
"So tell me, who does what to whom?"
185. tickled said:
Yaaah! What's wrong with the posting system? It produced all kinds of errors in my message above that I'm certain weren't in the original.
That was a semicolon, not a comma, after the word forever, for one thing! And I DID write
tickled, not ticled! And I typed
supersensitive, not supersentive! I DID! I DID!
Gremlins embedded in the system? Leta (or Chuck) messing with it when dooce's back is turned? That would explain the zillions of other errors that have me groaning from time to time.
Dooce baby, please answer the
question someone else posted
earlier: DO you read ALL the posts? Must eat up most of your day....
186. Alaska Danielle said:
Danielle (#172 at 8:40pm):
You can be Danielle. I don't post often, and I usually add the Alaska in front of my name, but today I forgot. :)
187. coskel said:
i read Dooce a few times a day too...its the crack she puts in the essays. Heather, I love that your house doesn't match you -I live in Michigan now but used to live in Chicago... some of my family went to Chicago for a weekend, and when they came back, the first thing they said was they finally UNDERSTOOD me (??)and that every 5th girl on the street downtown looked, walked and talked just like me.
ok, I think I get it now...
188. RazDreams said:
Could I actually be - gasp! - *last*?!
So I was right about what it was a picture of!!! Just not about who it was taking a picture of Dooce at the same moment she was taking a picture of them. Kewl.
189. Danielle said:
Alaska Danielle,
Here I was coming up with variations on our name:
Danie L
Danie Elle
and lots of aspects of my personality that didn't quite seem to fit relating to being stubborn etc.
So thanks! that makes it all much easier. Plus, I'm in the process of getting my own weblog setup and already bought the domain name. So, that simplifies matters.
Oh, and I love the 37 pieces of flair on your site. Two of my favorite lines from Office Space are at the end:
"No Salt! No Salt!"
and
"I can put... I can put... strychnine in the drinking water.. and have this place condemned"
190. Sue FromOhio said:
AHA!!! It's a picture of Nikki taking a picture of you!!!! I was sooo wrong...I'm going to hell...