Bono- that's the type of quazi intellectual bullshit that made me stop buying your albums. Here's one for you, "Don't waste your talent and our time by talking smack."
12.01.04 - 08:30 AM
3. Molly said:
Sue - Those toilet things.. No one but me could figure out how to UNlatch it to use the bathroom.. It lasted a week.. Then my FIL came to visit and he broke it right off and then didn't say anything.. For now while my little one is just getting mobil.. we keep the bathroom door shut.. I figure once she is able to open the bathroom door, she'll be learning to PT anyway.
I don't know if anyone's mentioned it before, but you and Carolyn from 'The Apprentice' look alike. I mean that in a good way.. you're both pretty hot. ;)
i LOVE your giant watch! i'm a giantwatch kinda girl myself, though sloan hates it. but man, there's just something to be said for being able to state the time in every single timezone while adjusting your alarm for when the simpsons comes on...
So. . .when are we gonna see some shots of Chuck peeing acrobatically? It's your right to take away his last shred of dignity, right here on the internet!
12.01.04 - 08:52 AM
11. patti said:
Man, is that a sexy camera!
12.01.04 - 08:57 AM
12. Elegant Goose said:
Dooce, I love the George stories -- keep 'em coming!
I also have to say that I almost snorted tea out of my nose at Christy's comment (#19) "deep, mysterious supermodel look"?! Supermodels may on occasion look mysterious but they always appear more vapid than deep to me. Dooce does always manage to look hot in her photos though.
One more comment before I leave you all. I...friggin'...love...snow-days!!! (Thank you, Michigan weather!) I'm currently both a graduate student & a student teacher (I'm going back to school to become a teacher - I forgot to think of a profession I wanted to do with my English degree... oops... but I love teaching now so that's okay.) Anyways, yes, I love snow days. I got up this morning and checked the news and school was cancelled and I got to sleep in till NINE THIRTY!!! (For those of you with early-ass jobs or little-ass kids you understand how the extra few hours between five thirty and nine thirty are so very important when you are able to sleep through them.)
Thank you for letting me share... I haven't posted a comment here in a while- not because I stopped lovin' ya'll, but because I've been so damn busy.
I think that as long as the sofa, Chuck, Leta and George are all in your house at the same time, you need to have your digital camera with you at all times so that you can capture these moments. So far, there are NO pics of George playing with Leta or sleeping with Chuck! Stop teasing us!
12.01.04 - 09:06 AM
15. Robin said:
I recommend the outlet covers which cover the whole plate and have sliding doors to put plugs in. It's a pain in the ass to have to take out the little plastic jobbies every time you want to use the outlet.
You look pretty and, I am a fan of big clunky do-it-all watches too. Thanks for the picture.
12.01.04 - 09:08 AM
17. Carol said:
i agree with robin... i have the little plastic jobbies (their formal name) and they are a pain in the ass. my 1.5 year old has learned how to take them out and is all, "oh you're supposed to put things in there? super!!"
Outlet covers are nothin'! She'll want to empty out your kitchen drawers, too. Access to the cleaning supplies will, more than likely, be her first goal. The fun is only beginning!
12.01.04 - 09:14 AM
20. JP said:
Plug covers and cupboard locks are all very well and good...unless you gave birth to Houdini reincarnated. Basically, I spent the money for no reason.
I haven't been able to get to my Ajax for the last 11 years because of those damn locks.
It's such a tease too. I can peak in there and see the SOS pads and Dawn dishsoap.
Anyone ever read the book "The lady who cut off her leg at the Maidstone gallery" or something like that...it has a bunch of really off the wall stories and one is about a set of parents that went over the top with child proofing their house.
It's...uh...scary how far people will go.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the Drano I think I left in the girls room.
Joining the raving peanut gallery to say, "I love the hair."
So, Leta is heading to mobility like a herd of screaming turtles. Plastic plug covers are just the begining. I can't wait to hear about the first time you leave the room only to return to find Leta happily sleeping under the couch. It is comfy there, you know. :)
Have agrand day.
Oh, and, of course, All hail GEORGE!
12.01.04 - 09:41 AM
33. Carol said:
Alaska-
I don't really get it either, but it's fun, no? Some of it is from comments last night.
Aaron, your website says you're 31, but you act like you be 13. Serious. Rookie.
12.01.04 - 09:51 AM
38. Melanie S said:
Yeah for the Leta baby!
I'm doing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" dance!
12.01.04 - 09:52 AM
39. Melanie S said:
Another thought...
Invest in the straps that prevent dressers, bookshelves and other large items from falling on your little frog.
My son was injured by a shelf in his closet that was 8 feet tall. It had a bottom unit with 3 drawera and a top unit that had a door and a 2 shelves. He was 18 months old and got into the closet, opened the 3 drawers causing the unit to tip. The entire thing fell on. He broke his arm and collar bone, and was not brething when we found him.
You could have an entire separate website for your commentors in all their strange, brilliant, not-so-brilliant, mysterious, occasionally funny ways. Really, you could.
Yeah for Leta!!!!! But you are right to be scared - it will never be the same once she is mobile!
12.01.04 - 10:05 AM
43. al said:
Dooce/Heather why is your daughter going to therapy???? I must have missed what is wrong with her development. The Dr.
12.01.04 - 10:10 AM
44. Jesse said:
Dude, don't look now but you are talkin to the whole friggin world here. I can't feel you, man. If I didn't know better I would think you are skipping junior high and pretending to be your uncle.
At least if you're going to *bold* words to get attention, how bout making it either clever enough or stupid enough for the rest of us to feel you.
Anne Said, "You could have an entire separate website for your commentors in all their strange, brilliant, not-so-brilliant, mysterious, occasionally funny ways. Really, you could."
I thought a list would be a good idea. Save Dooce some bandwidth.
Or at least a chat room so we can all talk...or in some cases, play weird bold writing games, or talk about WKRP or Captain Stoobing, or just share stuff that is undooce related. (wait, is there stuff undooce related?)
I'm on a list for the old TV show My So-called life (yes, it's been like 10 years since it aired, we all became friends and didn't have the heart to shut down the list)
It varies on what we talk about, but the friends I have made there are priceless.
How much bandwidth did I just waste talking about that?
Beth- Yeah, I'm a Angela at heart, but now that it's 10 years later and I watch the show over, I can SO relate to the mother. I just think, "Oh hell no would I let my daughter dye her hair Crimzon Glow!". Ten years ago I thought, "Ohhh, cool hair color."
Funny how having kids just changes how you look at things.
Jenny - Screw em. Do you really want to work in that kind of culture anyway? My husband used to work for a very stuffy corporation and the caustic environment sucked the very marrow from his soul. If soul's had marrow.
Hopefully you'll find a place that sees your site and says "this chick fuckin rocks", as said husband did ('cept they didn't call him a chick). Good luck.
I'm so happy nerd watches are cool. I get some interesting looks when there are corporate folks in the room. At least it matches the one full suit I own.
Sherly - my real name is Jen(nifer) and the niffer is just one of thousands of nicknames my husband has for me. I thought niffer might be better than smoochie, squidgibow, or the ever popular pickle panties.
The outlet covers were marketed after our oldest son put the housekey into an outlet and caused the Breaker to Trip for the entire apartment building we were living in at the time.
The covers are a big pain in the derrierre for grown-ups, but babies are so dumb and smart at the same time--Constant Vigilance Required.
You really leave the watch on all the time? Even reconvening the procedure?
12.01.04 - 10:49 AM
61. sue said:
Go, Leta! Mobile is good! For the record, I still have outlet covers on the outlets, and my son is 10. No, he's not incredibly dense, I'm just incredibly lazy. Just wait till Leta decides to play in the toilet, and you have to get one of those weird baby-proof latches so she doesn't open it up for a swim. Then there's the latches that keep kitchen cabinets shut, the anchors to keep shelves stable when she tries to climb them, etc... Oh, the horror!
I really love your dark hair. It's such a nice contrast with your eyes. Very "sitting-by-the-fire-in-a-snowstorm", which probably comes in handy in Utah.
It's hard to smile when taking a picture of yourself. You get too self-conscious. Besides, when you don't smile, you have that deep, mysterious supermodel look.
OK now take one of Leta with the camera blocking the same portion of her face so that we can see if you look alike...
12.01.04 - 07:20 AM
82. annelise said:
you are sooo not smiling, but your hair rocks. it really looks great on you.
it's finally started to snow in here in central canada. maybe ol' george w. will get hit by a big ass snowplow while he's doing his little tour of his northern neighbours (yes, that's canadian spelling folks!).
no wedding band. i gave up wearing mine daily when i had a baby. just got in the way. now, i'm lucky to remember it when i go out! worst was when i went to my sister-in-law's wedding out of town w/out my wedding band or engagement ring.
this is really annoying. everytime someone makes a comment about your hair or eyes or eyebrows, I find myself NEEDING to scroll up to take another look at the pic.
How I lust for a Nikon D70. I'm going to use Jon's recent post in an effort to convince my boyfriend that we should purchase one. 'Tis the season to be broke, anyway.
Cute photo! That D70 is looking good (I'm thinking that might be the perfect Holiday gift .... for myself!)
Heather: I want to let you know that I got "Dooced"!! ... well sort of. I interviewed at a company - they LOVED me. I walked them through my online portfolio in their offices - LOVED it! But my portfolio is hosted on my (design-oriented) website which they read on their own after I left and said that "They would have to pass". While they "appreciated" that design was also my hobby and "enjoyed" my Photoshop Tutorials, my site was "a bit too informal and not quite corporate enough". HUH?? Last time I checked, I wasn't a corporation. Anyway, they went with this girl who had no website or portfolio at all - clearly the better candidate.
Some things you shouldn't get too good at, like smiling, crying and celebrity.
12.01.04 - 08:17 AM
114. James said:
You have such broad shoulders and big hands! Very nice! Were you ever a swimmer? And I agree- that watch is the king of nerdy accessories! You are too cool.
i am wearing a wedding band, but the way my left hand is positioned you can't see it.
and my watch, well, yes, it's HUGE but it does so much stuff, and it can cook and clean ALL ON ITS OWN, and being a mother, I have to be able to know what time it is every single second of the day, so I never take it off. ever.
it may not match my daintier outfits, but by god, i will always know what time it is!
Elegant Goose - good point on the deep, supermodel thing. I think I meant them as two separate thoughts: dooce looks deep and also like a mysterious supermodel. Poor sentence structure on my part.
Also congratulations to fish on the new guppy!
The Niffer - my husband calls me Yamaguchi. He thinks it's funny every time.
The thumbnail on the mainpage makes this look like the author photo from a 70's novel. Question for the group: What is the novel about?
(Remember,it's fiction: No "Constipation Stories".)
This is Leta's most familiar view. Mommy with her favorite toy! :-) My name is Kristy and I'm in love with George. George has a big smile and apparently it matches his big heart.
(I left the typos in to show you all that I am, indeed, typing with one hand, the other holding 7 1/2 lbs of little fish, and to piss off the person who crticized the fact that I've mispelled two lousy words in my blog.)
Thanks all you doocesters for your concern over the weekend. We are all well, and I'll be around more soon.
Take care,
Fish
12.01.04 - 12:45 PM
132. George said:
Did anyone else notice the google ads today? Colon cleansing! OH JOY!
12.01.04 - 12:48 PM
133. Colleen from NJ said:
ok Aaaaaaaron, you have to tell me where that quote is from, because try as I might, I. Can't. Remember.
This is most distressing. Not only do you write beautifully (I love your site, your are very, very funny and I don't even know any mormons) but you are terribly sleek and sophisticated or maybe, hopeful pause, you just photograph very well?
12.01.04 - 01:30 PM
143. annelise said:
me at four...
stuck a pair of tweezers in the bathroom socket and my arm turned black to the elbow. my little bro stuck a car key in at three and tried to turn it on. again with the black arm. still alive.
leta could be really creative like my kid who constantly stuck hot wheels in the vcr (that sounds so old) and bananas in the tape deck. also played in the kitty litter, but didn't bother with the sockets at all. the cycle has been broken...
I was just rereading some old archives from here. I found the one why Dooce should not work from home.
I don't know how anyone can do it. I have avoided ALL work today.
Aka Sheryl,
I almost peed my non-dooce undies on that comment!
on another note; start up that chat room, i'll download the irc program.
Anything to avoid this damn audit i'm doing. If I see one more picture of a cellular site i'm going to scream!!
12.01.04 - 02:07 PM
158. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Oh you mean the *bold* and not bold content? Ah. ok.
Actually all these comments are public, Aaron. God can read them anytime.
my goodness, has it been this long since I used Mirc that the guy who created it has gotten THAT old?
I thought the first picture of him was creepy, but this is like pig on candy cane creepy.
Anyway, Dooce, you just look like you're concentrating hard on getting that focus right. I dunno about you, but I almost impossible to smile in self-portraits - always looks too smarmy.
12.01.04 - 02:49 PM
167. Tracy said:
I _find it_ almost impossible, that is.
12.01.04 - 02:50 PM
168. Gia on Guam said:
Carol: As a paddler, I would never wear a watch that big to go paddling (or kayaking)...the resulting tanline is horrendous! All other times it's perfectly fine...except when reconvening the procedure, you can knock a nad with that thing!
12.01.04 - 03:07 PM
169. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
I think we should ask Dooce how she feels about averting some of the comments and chat away from Dooce.com. I see potential pros and cons both ways.
Dooce?
12.01.04 - 03:12 PM
170. Girl.A said:
I'm all excited - it's like Going to See the Wizard! What doth the woman behind the magic curtain (and camera) thinketh?
Because of the magnificent cut of the turd, the facets, no flaws, the way it caught the light from the hall and the bathroom mirror -of course! You just can't flush a princess-cut gem like that.
George's turd-cutter must be a well-trained expert.
Plug covers are fab. My daughter tried to stick a fork in a socket (I left the cover off after vaccuming - stoopid!). And my brother got a really great jolt from sticking a key into one...TWO different times. Not so bright, my brother - although he was pretty lit up when he stuck that key in...
Red looks great on you.
12.01.04 - 03:52 PM
175. Julie said:
Dooce, did ya take a picture of the Excellent Excrement?
Are you going to take it to the taxidermist's and get it mounted on a pig figurine for, umm, posterity?
i opened up comments here for a reason, for all of you. and i say, do what you will. go wild or don't go wild, just don't be mean to the other commenters or to me or to my granny or to geroge or to my ma or to my mailman.
or to britney.
12.01.04 - 04:29 PM
178. J.J. Doe, Internet Corpse said:
Ah, the silence is golden during this commuter hour. I can almost hear myself stinking. I can just barely make out the aliens mumblings from neighboring galaxies.
12.01.04 - 04:14 PM
179. terri said:
I'm so glad I found this website. What a wonderful writer you are and your photographs are absolutely beautiful! Your wedding photographs are breathtaking.
12.01.04 - 05:53 PM
180. Carol said:
"All I want for Christmas is for George to come over to my house an clip a big steaming yam in my shitter. Bring your plunger, Hor-hay!"
oh dear. GEORGE! when once i loved and admired you so, you have now lowered in my estimation and it is a long journey back to the top, my friend, a long cold journey on a rocky rocky road.
Dooce, you know you have pretty eyes and pretty hair and I really do love your watch and blah blah blah prettycakes.
Just for posterity, I would like to record that I knew it was the wrong word. I just was too lazy to think up the right word, and I didn't think anyone would pay enough attention to notice. Damn you, lulu! (joking, obviously).
I didn't realize that the word I ended up throwing in there was abdominal, though! Hee! I should never be allowed to get less than ten hours of sleep. (For the beginning of this conversation, check out yesterday's daily photo, hit Ctrl + F, and type in "abdominal snowman", in case you miss some of the strange references in the comments, and feel behind the times, as I so frequently do. Wow... that's a run-on sentence.)
As far as Dickens, I just get stuck in all the weird language, and they use more words than necessary. I tried reading Austen too, and I think I'd like them if they would condense the conversations to 5 lines to say that it is cold today vs. 2 pages. Or if they could do a decent modern translation, which I know would probably ruin the "feel", but I just want to read the story, I ain't readin' for the ambiance.
Once again, just my two cents. I'm not saying they are bad books, I personally don't enjoy them because of the language differences, and the older writing styles.
(I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. I am not going to spell check a comment.)
12.01.04 - 04:36 PM
183. RazDreams said:
That's just *wrong* what you wrote about GEORGE!. I mean, the poor fledgling is probably out there, just looking for his soulmate (the one who knows all the words and notes to *his* favorite song), and then, when he finds her, the delicate flower will read about his infamous TURD on the Dooce-meisters blogsite. Poor GEORGE!.
12.01.04 - 04:39 PM
184. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Top 10 Reasons Why George May Have Left A Poo in The Crapper at The Armstrongs
Hey, that's cool, Chloe--sorry I was bustin your chops a bit. Not everyone has to like all those "important" authors, I just get grouchy when people dismiss them as boring without trying them first.
But you tried em, so you get to dodge my grouch. :)
More importantly than naming the terd...did it resemble anyone famous?
12.01.04 - 04:57 PM
188. eco2geek said:
Well, if they can gold-plate and frame your kid's "umbilical cord":http://www.uniimp.com/product/product_01.php why not George's...
*slap* What am I saying?! Yuck.
12.01.04 - 05:13 PM
189. Felice said:
Aaron, no offense but you're in the wrong house. If you think people like being straight up hit on by a married guy on dooce, you might want to check your perceptions. There are lots of places online to do your thing. Besides, it's not interesting. This is just for your own good, because you seem oddly unaware.
12.01.04 - 05:17 PM
190. Carol said:
I just made this awesome buffalo chicken dip and am settling down to read me some dooce, but all i can think about is an old poop in a toilet and now i think i might throw up a little. Bleh!
12.01.04 - 05:49 PM
191. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
9. He was trying to prevent Chuck from drinking outta the crapper.
1. Stephen McKenna said:
Mirror images get me so mixed up. At first I thought you had some special left handed version of the D70.
Your hair looks amazing. I love the little flip out at the end.
2. Amanda B. said:
Bono- that's the type of quazi intellectual bullshit that made me stop buying your albums. Here's one for you, "Don't waste your talent and our time by talking smack."
3. Molly said:
Sue - Those toilet things.. No one but me could figure out how to UNlatch it to use the bathroom.. It lasted a week.. Then my FIL came to visit and he broke it right off and then didn't say anything.. For now while my little one is just getting mobil.. we keep the bathroom door shut.. I figure once she is able to open the bathroom door, she'll be learning to PT anyway.
4. Girl.A said:
Goin' mobile!
Keep Leta movin'!
Whooooo!
5. Alena said:
I don't know if anyone's mentioned it before, but you and Carolyn from 'The Apprentice' look alike. I mean that in a good way.. you're both pretty hot. ;)
6. Kieran said:
Gotta love those mirror shots!
7. Shiz said:
Heather, you so rock. The colour and compositon in that shot are fantastic.
8. april said:
i LOVE your giant watch! i'm a giantwatch kinda girl myself, though sloan hates it. but man, there's just something to be said for being able to state the time in every single timezone while adjusting your alarm for when the simpsons comes on...
9. Heatheranne said:
Your hair looks good!
10. Katy Barzedor said:
So. . .when are we gonna see some shots of Chuck peeing acrobatically? It's your right to take away his last shred of dignity, right here on the internet!
11. patti said:
Man, is that a sexy camera!
12. Elegant Goose said:
Dooce, I love the George stories -- keep 'em coming!
I also have to say that I almost snorted tea out of my nose at Christy's comment (#19) "deep, mysterious supermodel look"?! Supermodels may on occasion look mysterious but they always appear more vapid than deep to me. Dooce does always manage to look hot in her photos though.
One more comment before I leave you all. I...friggin'...love...snow-days!!! (Thank you, Michigan weather!) I'm currently both a graduate student & a student teacher (I'm going back to school to become a teacher - I forgot to think of a profession I wanted to do with my English degree... oops... but I love teaching now so that's okay.) Anyways, yes, I love snow days. I got up this morning and checked the news and school was cancelled and I got to sleep in till NINE THIRTY!!! (For those of you with early-ass jobs or little-ass kids you understand how the extra few hours between five thirty and nine thirty are so very important when you are able to sleep through them.)
Thank you for letting me share... I haven't posted a comment here in a while- not because I stopped lovin' ya'll, but because I've been so damn busy.
13. kim said:
your eyes aren't smiling.. GEORGE - do something!
14. victoria said:
I think that as long as the sofa, Chuck, Leta and George are all in your house at the same time, you need to have your digital camera with you at all times so that you can capture these moments. So far, there are NO pics of George playing with Leta or sleeping with Chuck! Stop teasing us!
15. Robin said:
I recommend the outlet covers which cover the whole plate and have sliding doors to put plugs in. It's a pain in the ass to have to take out the little plastic jobbies every time you want to use the outlet.
16. Christilee said:
You look pretty and, I am a fan of big clunky do-it-all watches too. Thanks for the picture.
17. Carol said:
i agree with robin... i have the little plastic jobbies (their formal name) and they are a pain in the ass. my 1.5 year old has learned how to take them out and is all, "oh you're supposed to put things in there? super!!"
18. sweetney said:
hello purty lady!
19. Darcie said:
Outlet covers are nothin'! She'll want to empty out your kitchen drawers, too. Access to the cleaning supplies will, more than likely, be her first goal. The fun is only beginning!
20. JP said:
Plug covers and cupboard locks are all very well and good...unless you gave birth to Houdini reincarnated. Basically, I spent the money for no reason.
I'm just saying...
21. Nick said:
You're so not smiling...
22. Kristine said:
I haven't been able to get to my Ajax for the last 11 years because of those damn locks.
It's such a tease too. I can peak in there and see the SOS pads and Dawn dishsoap.
Anyone ever read the book "The lady who cut off her leg at the Maidstone gallery" or something like that...it has a bunch of really off the wall stories and one is about a set of parents that went over the top with child proofing their house.
It's...uh...scary how far people will go.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the Drano I think I left in the girls room.
23. Aaron said:
Carol = Horny
24. Carol said:
Aaron... I waited and waited at the SF airport last night. Where were you? I shoulda known you'd stand me up. You and your big penis are ALL TALK!!
25. Aaron said:
*girthy*
26. Carol said:
*like a tuna can*
27. Aaron said:
I'm here for you, baby. You just let me know...
28. Girl.A said:
Sounds like someone's *projecting* a bit.
29. Aaron said:
*Chicken of the Sea*
30. Aaron said:
Girl.A--Seriously! Carol, stop *projecting*!
31. Alaska said:
What's with the bold word game? I don't follow.
32. Chessy said:
Joining the raving peanut gallery to say, "I love the hair."
So, Leta is heading to mobility like a herd of screaming turtles. Plastic plug covers are just the begining. I can't wait to hear about the first time you leave the room only to return to find Leta happily sleeping under the couch. It is comfy there, you know. :)
Have agrand day.
Oh, and, of course, All hail GEORGE!
33. Carol said:
Alaska-
I don't really get it either, but it's fun, no? Some of it is from comments last night.
34. Carol said:
*projection*
*election*
35. Aaron said:
*Alaska* *Hawaii*
36. Aaron said:
All right. I'll stop. That was so "yesterday."
I'll think of something funner.
37. Jesse said:
Aaron, your website says you're 31, but you act like you be 13. Serious. Rookie.
38. Melanie S said:
Yeah for the Leta baby!
I'm doing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" dance!
39. Melanie S said:
Another thought...
Invest in the straps that prevent dressers, bookshelves and other large items from falling on your little frog.
My son was injured by a shelf in his closet that was 8 feet tall. It had a bottom unit with 3 drawera and a top unit that had a door and a 2 shelves. He was 18 months old and got into the closet, opened the 3 drawers causing the unit to tip. The entire thing fell on. He broke his arm and collar bone, and was not brething when we found him.
40. Aaron said:
Jesse, I was talking to Carol. Thanks.
41. anne said:
DOOCE:
(yes, I'm shouting)
You could have an entire separate website for your commentors in all their strange, brilliant, not-so-brilliant, mysterious, occasionally funny ways. Really, you could.
And - congratulations, Fish. He's gorgeous.
42. Em said:
Yeah for Leta!!!!! But you are right to be scared - it will never be the same once she is mobile!
43. al said:
Dooce/Heather why is your daughter going to therapy???? I must have missed what is wrong with her development. The Dr.
44. Jesse said:
Dude, don't look now but you are talkin to the whole friggin world here. I can't feel you, man. If I didn't know better I would think you are skipping junior high and pretending to be your uncle.
At least if you're going to *bold* words to get attention, how bout making it either clever enough or stupid enough for the rest of us to feel you.
*Mary Shitsmas and a Nappy Ewe Rear*
45. Terri said:
I can't get over how great your haircut is.
46. Kristine said:
Anne Said, "You could have an entire separate website for your commentors in all their strange, brilliant, not-so-brilliant, mysterious, occasionally funny ways. Really, you could."
I thought a list would be a good idea. Save Dooce some bandwidth.
Or at least a chat room so we can all talk...or in some cases, play weird bold writing games, or talk about WKRP or Captain Stoobing, or just share stuff that is undooce related. (wait, is there stuff undooce related?)
I'm on a list for the old TV show My So-called life (yes, it's been like 10 years since it aired, we all became friends and didn't have the heart to shut down the list)
It varies on what we talk about, but the friends I have made there are priceless.
How much bandwidth did I just waste talking about that?
47. Carol said:
be nice to aaron, please.
48. Aaron said:
Yeah. I'm about to *cry*. Hold me.
49. Beth said:
First off, again - great hair. I LOVE the color! I wish I could wear mine that length. My face is too round! :(
Second, the D70 geek in me says "I love the way the focus assit light is shiny in that picture." I can't help it.
Third, Kristine! My So-Called Life - I miss that show! I loved it loved it.
Fourth - Many congrats to Fish!
50. Kristine said:
Beth- Yeah, I'm a Angela at heart, but now that it's 10 years later and I watch the show over, I can SO relate to the mother. I just think, "Oh hell no would I let my daughter dye her hair Crimzon Glow!". Ten years ago I thought, "Ohhh, cool hair color."
Funny how having kids just changes how you look at things.
51. Erin said:
Speaking of not-so-Dooce-related things...
the Fishes had their baby!
http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com/
52. jill said:
you sure are purty
53. the niffer said:
Yikes. The fur's a-flyin'.
Dooce - love the colour.
Jenny - Screw em. Do you really want to work in that kind of culture anyway? My husband used to work for a very stuffy corporation and the caustic environment sucked the very marrow from his soul. If soul's had marrow.
Hopefully you'll find a place that sees your site and says "this chick fuckin rocks", as said husband did ('cept they didn't call him a chick). Good luck.
I'm so happy nerd watches are cool. I get some interesting looks when there are corporate folks in the room. At least it matches the one full suit I own.
Sherly - my real name is Jen(nifer) and the niffer is just one of thousands of nicknames my husband has for me. I thought niffer might be better than smoochie, squidgibow, or the ever popular pickle panties.
54. the niffer said:
AHHH! Souls. Not soul's.
Someone put me out of my misery.
55. Carol said:
Pickle Panties?? Explanation, please.
56. Girl.A said:
But are you really smiling behind those panties?
57. cliclou said:
great hair color.
now, don't do anything crazy.
58. the niffer said:
Re: Pickle Panties. I have no idea. But you can ask him:
www.wtfudge.blogspot.com
If you find out, let me know.
My panties are always smiling. Aren't everyone's?
59. Shmee said:
Jennifer = Jen-niffer = niffer
Maybe?
60. MrsDoF said:
The outlet covers were marketed after our oldest son put the housekey into an outlet and caused the Breaker to Trip for the entire apartment building we were living in at the time.
The covers are a big pain in the derrierre for grown-ups, but babies are so dumb and smart at the same time--Constant Vigilance Required.
You really leave the watch on all the time? Even reconvening the procedure?
61. sue said:
Go, Leta! Mobile is good! For the record, I still have outlet covers on the outlets, and my son is 10. No, he's not incredibly dense, I'm just incredibly lazy. Just wait till Leta decides to play in the toilet, and you have to get one of those weird baby-proof latches so she doesn't open it up for a swim. Then there's the latches that keep kitchen cabinets shut, the anchors to keep shelves stable when she tries to climb them, etc... Oh, the horror!
62. red said:
pretty.
63. red said:
are you right or left handed?
64. shlee said:
I'm not first, but nice picture :)
65. Angie said:
Smiling is overrated if you ask me! I never smile much but I'm perfectly happy.
66. beachgal said:
Nice! I always hate pictures of me, but you seem to photograph so well. Even when you do it yourself. That's awesome!
67. Sarah said:
Your hair looks awesome
68. Shmee said:
Heather, you have beautiful eyes.
69. pismire said:
Well I don't see the classic lumping up of the cheeks, so I'm doubting the smile, maybe. . . .
70. ninotchka said:
nice hair. the darker shade is quite striking.
71. LadyBug said:
Your hair looks great!
Nice eyebrows, too!
72. lulu cornichon said:
I'm so glad you don't have a dainty little unreadable watch.
Pretty girl + giant dorky watch = super appealing.
73. Laura said:
This is the best hair photo yet. It looks awesome!
74. ChickenFlicken said:
You're very striking, even when you're behind your camera. Leta definitely has your commanding eyebrows. Commanding, damn it!
75. sab said:
your hair looks awesome that colour. really makes your baby blues stand out.
76. Molly said:
Your eyes are so beautiful!! My Husband has bright blue eyes like that.. Red is a nice color on you. :)
77. Jessica said:
I really love your dark hair. It's such a nice contrast with your eyes. Very "sitting-by-the-fire-in-a-snowstorm", which probably comes in handy in Utah.
78. TracyDee said:
Great picture... whether you're smiling or not :)
79. Mary said:
Smile or no smile, you look great in read.
80. christy said:
It's hard to smile when taking a picture of yourself. You get too self-conscious. Besides, when you don't smile, you have that deep, mysterious supermodel look.
81. Liz said:
OK now take one of Leta with the camera blocking the same portion of her face so that we can see if you look alike...
82. annelise said:
you are sooo not smiling, but your hair rocks. it really looks great on you.
it's finally started to snow in here in central canada. maybe ol' george w. will get hit by a big ass snowplow while he's doing his little tour of his northern neighbours (yes, that's canadian spelling folks!).
83. Alex said:
That color shirt looks great with your new hair color. It makes you look all warm and peachy.
84. Carol said:
You are very beautiful. I love how your eye is sitting on top of the camera.
Cheers. Thanks for your blog. And all your readers.
85. psyche said:
that entry about George and Leta playing is sweet.
Your hair looks good on you :D
86. Heidi said:
Ooh, you look so mysterious and beautiful!
87. Em said:
Your hair looks great. At first I thought your watch was a scrunchie and I was afraid.
88. Cheryl said:
i'm smiling behind my computer too!
89. Cheryl said:
I would be smiling if I were looking at that beautiful husband and daughter of yours!
90. Heather 2 said:
Love, love, LOVE the hair color. But I did also enjoy the fake 'I am from LA' bitch blonde... ;-)
91. shy said:
no wedding band. i gave up wearing mine daily when i had a baby. just got in the way. now, i'm lucky to remember it when i go out! worst was when i went to my sister-in-law's wedding out of town w/out my wedding band or engagement ring.
LOVE the hair. not just the colour but the style.
92. jes said:
this is really annoying. everytime someone makes a comment about your hair or eyes or eyebrows, I find myself NEEDING to scroll up to take another look at the pic.
93. jane said:
How I lust for a Nikon D70. I'm going to use Jon's recent post in an effort to convince my boyfriend that we should purchase one. 'Tis the season to be broke, anyway.
94. Eric said:
K. #33. I'll take it. And those eyes are most definitely not smiling.
95. Jenny said:
Cute photo! That D70 is looking good (I'm thinking that might be the perfect Holiday gift .... for myself!)
Heather: I want to let you know that I got "Dooced"!! ... well sort of. I interviewed at a company - they LOVED me. I walked them through my online portfolio in their offices - LOVED it! But my portfolio is hosted on my (design-oriented) website which they read on their own after I left and said that "They would have to pass". While they "appreciated" that design was also my hobby and "enjoyed" my Photoshop Tutorials, my site was "a bit too informal and not quite corporate enough". HUH?? Last time I checked, I wasn't a corporation. Anyway, they went with this girl who had no website or portfolio at all - clearly the better candidate.
96. kEma said:
Dooce,
now we know whom from Leta inhereted those cute long fingers. Beautiful, really!
Keep smiling ;)
97. karen said:
That's the biggest nerd wristwatch I've ever seen. You rock
98. kim said:
I think you're sticking out your tongue at us all! I love your blog and your writing, you always make me laugh! Thanks!
99. Shmee said:
Jenny (#34): I'm SO wanting to look at your website now, but the link isn't working. Please post it again.
100. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
That is a serious dork-o-meter on your wrist, Heath. Makes me want to play Dungeons and Dragons.
101. Jenny said:
Shmee - the website is http://alleyesonjenny.com. I apologize in advance for its "lack of corporateness". Sorry if it offends you ;)
102. Carol said:
I think the watch is cool and "outdoorsy" like you're going to go kayaking or something.
103. The Mighty Jimbo said:
there is a job for you on the price is right.
104. slick said:
no you're not! your eyes would be twinkling! you can't fool me, heather b armstrong! i know you're not smiling. smile, dammit! :)
105. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
It looks kinda like my heart rate monitor/watch. kool.
Dooce, you are beautiful.
106. Gordon said:
She is so not smiling. Thats a serious photographer who took that picture..come now, serious photographers don't let their subjects smile, do they?
107. Kristine said:
She's taunting us with that camera.
Can you hear that faint sound in the background??
neeenerrrr, neeeener, neeeeener.
I will not fall prey to your evil temptations.
108. RazDreams said:
I'm choking on my spit because I'm laughing so hard at Dr. Johnny Fever's comments...
109. popsicle said:
great picture.
your hair looks sexy.
Are you constipated? You are one person in this world that can look good constipated.
110. The "other" Ninotchka said:
Beautiful!
111. squashlist said:
How can you be so nicely thin with all of that poop in you that you claim you can't get out?
112. Amanda B. said:
Lovely Dooce, hope your day is lovely too.
113. Bono said:
Some things you shouldn't get too good at, like smiling, crying and celebrity.
114. James said:
You have such broad shoulders and big hands! Very nice! Were you ever a swimmer? And I agree- that watch is the king of nerdy accessories! You are too cool.
115. dooce said:
i am wearing a wedding band, but the way my left hand is positioned you can't see it.
and my watch, well, yes, it's HUGE but it does so much stuff, and it can cook and clean ALL ON ITS OWN, and being a mother, I have to be able to know what time it is every single second of the day, so I never take it off. ever.
it may not match my daintier outfits, but by god, i will always know what time it is!
116. Shmee said:
[Realizes they're trying to figureout pickle panties, not niffer...turns bright red]
117. Jeff Harrell said:
I don't know which one revs my motor more: the pretty girl, or the badass camera.
I'm a big dork.
118. Aaron said:
She is pretty, that's for sure.
119. Big Gay Sam said:
pretty hell! She's gorgeous.
bitch.
hehe.
120. Christilee said:
It's insane in here.
121. christy said:
Elegant Goose - good point on the deep, supermodel thing. I think I meant them as two separate thoughts: dooce looks deep and also like a mysterious supermodel. Poor sentence structure on my part.
Also congratulations to fish on the new guppy!
The Niffer - my husband calls me Yamaguchi. He thinks it's funny every time.
122. George said:
When did dooce incorporate a chat room?
123. Big Gay Sam said:
she's didn't. We just hijacked it. *LOL*
124. Michael said:
The thumbnail on the mainpage makes this look like the author photo from a 70's novel. Question for the group: What is the novel about?
(Remember,it's fiction: No "Constipation Stories".)
125. Andreah said:
The eyes. THE EYES! So intense! You've got good eyebrows too.
How heavy is the watch though? dang.
126. al said:
Why won't anyone tell me why Leta needs therapy.....Dr.
127. Stacy said:
Al- check out newsletter month 8.
128. liminalspace said:
a little tea leoni, no?
129. PoeticaL said:
This is Leta's most familiar view. Mommy with her favorite toy! :-) My name is Kristy and I'm in love with George. George has a big smile and apparently it matches his big heart.
130. Aaron said:
That Nikon D70 is pretty sweet. We're looking at replacing our film camera. I might need to check one of those out up close and personal.
(a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!)
131. Fish said:
Man, this placw has gone to heell.
(I left the typos in to show you all that I am, indeed, typing with one hand, the other holding 7 1/2 lbs of little fish, and to piss off the person who crticized the fact that I've mispelled two lousy words in my blog.)
Thanks all you doocesters for your concern over the weekend. We are all well, and I'll be around more soon.
Take care,
Fish
132. George said:
Did anyone else notice the google ads today? Colon cleansing! OH JOY!
133. Colleen from NJ said:
ok Aaaaaaaron, you have to tell me where that quote is from, because try as I might, I. Can't. Remember.
134. Aaron said:
Colleen from NJ,
nudge, nudge
wink, wink
say no more, say no more
(it's from a Monty Python skit about taking "candid photos")
What's up with all the "aaaaa's"?
:P
135. LadyBug said:
Hey Dooce,
Just wondering what your thoughts are on Ken Jennings finally losing on "Jeopardy!"? Is there, like, rioting and whatnot in Utah today?
136. Shmee said:
Fish: Yes, you missed a particularly weird couple of days. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or look away.
Congratulations again and welcome back!
137. Aaron said:
Hey Carol. could you email me at anelson41@gmail.com?
138. Carol said:
Hey Fish- can't wait to hear the story....
139. Colleen from NJ said:
Aaron, sorry bout tht overdose. hd problem when lptop sliding off lp nd decided to leve it in.
Yes! Monty Python!
Thnks!
140. Carrie said:
Gotta say I love the self portrait. Very sophisticated.
141. Bec said:
I still love your hair.
142. Anne said:
This is most distressing. Not only do you write beautifully (I love your site, your are very, very funny and I don't even know any mormons) but you are terribly sleek and sophisticated or maybe, hopeful pause, you just photograph very well?
143. annelise said:
me at four...
stuck a pair of tweezers in the bathroom socket and my arm turned black to the elbow. my little bro stuck a car key in at three and tried to turn it on. again with the black arm. still alive.
leta could be really creative like my kid who constantly stuck hot wheels in the vcr (that sounds so old) and bananas in the tape deck. also played in the kitty litter, but didn't bother with the sockets at all. the cycle has been broken...
144. wendy! said:
This may be of topic, but is GEORGE! single?
:)
Wendy!
145. Kristine said:
I was just rereading some old archives from here. I found the one why Dooce should not work from home.
I don't know how anyone can do it. I have avoided ALL work today.
It's pretty simple. Just keep hitting 'refresh'.
146. Erin said:
You are not, Dooce!
147. Kristine said:
[checking label on underwear]
Nope, i'm not Dooce.
148. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
I'm not dooce either ...
But I did write her name in my underwear. Is that bad?
149. Christine said:
Yeah, some of us schemed up the IRC chatroom thingie last night.
Channel names?
#Get_Dooced
#More_Cowbell
#AntiMormonMafia
#Doocers
#Just_Dooce_It
#Chuck's_Puppy_Palace
...
..
.
Whatchoo all got out there? :)
150. christy said:
Just_Dooce_It almost made me snort cheez-its out my nose.
How about Doocerstars?
151. Christine said:
*knocks Sherly down and steals her Dooced underpants*
AHAHAHAHAHA! >:)
152. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
How bout
*InDooced* or
*SeDooced* ?
153. Aaron said:
Watch the bold stuff, Sheryl. It implies that you're speaking to the entire world in a way similar to God. (or something).
*fuck*
154. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Christine! I am so em-bare-assed.
Ok that one was in honor of the FishMan.
*ReproDooced*
*IntroDooced*
*DeDooced*
155. Colleen from NJ said:
Dooce-ception
156. honestyrain said:
you're really taking a picture of the camera, aren't you?
157. Kristine said:
Aka Sheryl,
I almost peed my non-dooce undies on that comment!
on another note; start up that chat room, i'll download the irc program.
Anything to avoid this damn audit i'm doing. If I see one more picture of a cellular site i'm going to scream!!
158. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Oh you mean the *bold* and not bold content? Ah. ok.
Actually all these comments are public, Aaron. God can read them anytime.
159. lulu cornichon said:
God can even read the name on yer panties!
It's just the rest of the world you have to worry about on Dooce's comments.
160. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Now God can read the name on my ass since Christine. Stole. Mah. Drawahs.
161. Kristine said:
there we go, our chat room name
dooces_comments
162. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Kristine,
How bout DooceDotComments
163. Kristine said:
i'm downloading IRC as we speak. You fire up the room. I'll bring the unmarked panties & a bowl of cereal.
164. Kristine said:
my goodness, has it been this long since I used Mirc that the guy who created it has gotten THAT old?
I thought the first picture of him was creepy, but this is like pig on candy cane creepy.
165. jkegwest said:
Hopefully you named that turd before you flushed it down the toilet. GEORGE! Jr.!
166. Tracy said:
Liminalspace, I was totally thinking Dooce's Celebrity Doppelganger Du Jour was Téa Leoni, too. Usually I lean more toward Carrie-Ann Moss. Compromise: Téa and Carrie-Ann's petri-dish love child.
Anyway, Dooce, you just look like you're concentrating hard on getting that focus right. I dunno about you, but I almost impossible to smile in self-portraits - always looks too smarmy.
167. Tracy said:
I _find it_ almost impossible, that is.
168. Gia on Guam said:
Carol: As a paddler, I would never wear a watch that big to go paddling (or kayaking)...the resulting tanline is horrendous! All other times it's perfectly fine...except when reconvening the procedure, you can knock a nad with that thing!
169. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
I think we should ask Dooce how she feels about averting some of the comments and chat away from Dooce.com. I see potential pros and cons both ways.
Dooce?
170. Girl.A said:
I'm all excited - it's like Going to See the Wizard! What doth the woman behind the magic curtain (and camera) thinketh?
171. lizpenn said:
why didn't George flush?
172. Emily said:
Because of the magnificent cut of the turd, the facets, no flaws, the way it caught the light from the hall and the bathroom mirror -of course! You just can't flush a princess-cut gem like that.
George's turd-cutter must be a well-trained expert.
173. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
All I want for Christmas is for George to come over to my house an clip a big steaming yam in my shitter. Bring your plunger, Hor-hay!
174. Gia said:
Plug covers are fab. My daughter tried to stick a fork in a socket (I left the cover off after vaccuming - stoopid!). And my brother got a really great jolt from sticking a key into one...TWO different times. Not so bright, my brother - although he was pretty lit up when he stuck that key in...
Red looks great on you.
175. Julie said:
Dooce, did ya take a picture of the Excellent Excrement?
Are you going to take it to the taxidermist's and get it mounted on a pig figurine for, umm, posterity?
176. Aaron said:
Dr. Fever!! Yeah!!
177. dooce said:
i opened up comments here for a reason, for all of you. and i say, do what you will. go wild or don't go wild, just don't be mean to the other commenters or to me or to my granny or to geroge or to my ma or to my mailman.
or to britney.
178. J.J. Doe, Internet Corpse said:
Ah, the silence is golden during this commuter hour. I can almost hear myself stinking. I can just barely make out the aliens mumblings from neighboring galaxies.
179. terri said:
I'm so glad I found this website. What a wonderful writer you are and your photographs are absolutely beautiful! Your wedding photographs are breathtaking.
180. Carol said:
"All I want for Christmas is for George to come over to my house an clip a big steaming yam in my shitter. Bring your plunger, Hor-hay!"
That is hilarious!!
I'm still not eating tonight.
181. honestyrain said:
oh dear. GEORGE! when once i loved and admired you so, you have now lowered in my estimation and it is a long journey back to the top, my friend, a long cold journey on a rocky rocky road.
182. Chloe said:
Dooce, you know you have pretty eyes and pretty hair and I really do love your watch and blah blah blah prettycakes.
Just for posterity, I would like to record that I knew it was the wrong word. I just was too lazy to think up the right word, and I didn't think anyone would pay enough attention to notice. Damn you, lulu! (joking, obviously).
I didn't realize that the word I ended up throwing in there was abdominal, though! Hee! I should never be allowed to get less than ten hours of sleep. (For the beginning of this conversation, check out yesterday's daily photo, hit Ctrl + F, and type in "abdominal snowman", in case you miss some of the strange references in the comments, and feel behind the times, as I so frequently do. Wow... that's a run-on sentence.)
As far as Dickens, I just get stuck in all the weird language, and they use more words than necessary. I tried reading Austen too, and I think I'd like them if they would condense the conversations to 5 lines to say that it is cold today vs. 2 pages. Or if they could do a decent modern translation, which I know would probably ruin the "feel", but I just want to read the story, I ain't readin' for the ambiance.
Once again, just my two cents. I'm not saying they are bad books, I personally don't enjoy them because of the language differences, and the older writing styles.
(I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. I am not going to spell check a comment.)
183. RazDreams said:
That's just *wrong* what you wrote about GEORGE!. I mean, the poor fledgling is probably out there, just looking for his soulmate (the one who knows all the words and notes to *his* favorite song), and then, when he finds her, the delicate flower will read about his infamous TURD on the Dooce-meisters blogsite. Poor GEORGE!.
184. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Top 10 Reasons Why George May Have Left A Poo in The Crapper at The Armstrongs
10. Didn't want to want to wake up LetaFrog
(please feel free to help me countdown)
Hi Carol!
185. lulu cornichon said:
Hey, that's cool, Chloe--sorry I was bustin your chops a bit. Not everyone has to like all those "important" authors, I just get grouchy when people dismiss them as boring without trying them first.
But you tried em, so you get to dodge my grouch. :)
186. Aaron said:
Yeah. NO playah hatahs either.
187. JP said:
More importantly than naming the terd...did it resemble anyone famous?
188. eco2geek said:
Well, if they can gold-plate and frame your kid's "umbilical cord":http://www.uniimp.com/product/product_01.php why not George's...
*slap* What am I saying?! Yuck.
189. Felice said:
Aaron, no offense but you're in the wrong house. If you think people like being straight up hit on by a married guy on dooce, you might want to check your perceptions. There are lots of places online to do your thing. Besides, it's not interesting. This is just for your own good, because you seem oddly unaware.
190. Carol said:
I just made this awesome buffalo chicken dip and am settling down to read me some dooce, but all i can think about is an old poop in a toilet and now i think i might throw up a little. Bleh!
191. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
9. He was trying to prevent Chuck from drinking outta the crapper.
192. Fish said:
8. he wanted to fill the house with yule tide ... joy.
193. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
7. It was Chuck, not George.
Hi FishMan! And Everett :)
194. Colleen said:
8. Of France!
195. Colleen said:
Okay, make that 6.
196. Molly said:
6. It was Jon, not George.. ;)
*fish, you should be typing up your baby's birth story!!! ........
197. Karen Rani said:
5. Someone had to mold that scene from yesterdays pic.....and there wasn't enough playdoh for the horse who had it's ass in the air!
198. Carol said:
y'all are cracking me up..... i'm thinking....
hi sherly, fish, karen rani, etc....
199. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
4. It was Dooce not George.
200. Carol said:
4. he was trying to inspire dooce. that or just make her jealous.
201. Kristine said:
Carol your number 4 is what I was going to write.
Great minds....
202. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
She didn't wanna admit that something that ginormous and delicately-textured could come out of her.
203. Carol said:
i keep reading Dr. Fever's comment... clip a big steaming yam... and laughing. that is the funniest thing!
but mayb
3. it was just a little piece of poo-poo... an oh so dainty one and it just didn't make in down.
at least that's the way I prefer to think about it.
204. GirlA. said:
3. George accidentally swallowed the ceramic baby jesus and he was softening up the output so he could strain for the king of kings.