I'll get this whole thing into my mouth so help me God
Yes, this is the fourth picture in a row of that kid. I can't help it.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
1. Jenny said:
So adorable. I bet she can do it too! Look at that determination!
2. Sarah said:
That looks like a red Ring Ding...mmmmm, Ring Dings.
3. dolly said:
FIRST!!!!!!
4. Melanie S said:
I L-O-V-E her red hair!
#2 Yeah!
5. Kelli said:
Mmmm... nummy! Red, plastic toys! They're not just for breakfast anymore!
6. dolly said:
......damn.....
7. Jordan said:
She's hungry lately! Don't you ever feed this kid?
8. Lori J said:
So earnest so determined.
9. Jeni said:
...which my mom will totally capture with the camera.
10. Ed Villas said:
Upss ... that is not an apple !
11. Lori J said:
She never tires of you taking photos of her. What an angel. Except when you leave the room....
12. Fish said:
Mommy, why are your eyes all puffy and bloodshot? And why does your breath smell like college kids on spring break in Mexico?
13. Colleen from NJ said:
she has a guilty look:
pretend red ring-ding? ...chomp... what pretend red ring-ding?
14. Sheryl said:
Ok, I'll stop screaming - if you could just bring back my regular mommy... the one who isn't wearing black war paint.
15. beachgal said:
Absolutely precious, as usual. Keep 'em coming!
16. Maz said:
CUTENESS!!!!!
17. Stephen McKenna said:
It's funny if you think of it as her tongue licking her hand.
18. Tamra said:
Amen about the depression post- get the help you need no matter what people think or say... being depressed and/or suicidal is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about. I've been on meds for 3 months now and it's made all the difference in the world! Proud recovering depressives unite!
19. Paula said:
The chubby hands and the dimples! I could just eat them up!
20. stella said:
she may be eating the toy, but I want to nibble on those sweet little hands!
21. Moxie said:
Her Screamness who screams alot everyday with the screaming is becoming self aware. She is trying to stifle it!
22. Brooke said:
I hope her hair stays that color! It's so pretty.
23. Human Writes said:
I think she might give that Asian kid who can eat 58 hot dogs in 12 minutes a run for his money.
24. Angie said:
Plastic must one of the lesser-known food-groups. Yum!
25. Mari said:
She's a beauty and she looks wise beyond her 9 months.
26. kEma said:
Leta: "I swear to God, if this RED PLASTIC TOY don't go in my mouth right away, I am going to scre-ehh-eehhhhhh-eeeemmmm!"
27. Russ said:
"One pill makes you smaller...."
Your daughter is well on her way to being a rockstar! From you stories, it sounds like shes got the wailing thing down already! Go Leta!
28. melanie said:
I love that song by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Imagine my surprise when I turned on the VMA's last year to see that their guitarist is a guy I went to college with! Yeah, he was too cool for me even then.
29. Em said:
As usual - simply precious. I could just eat her up!
30. Girl.A said:
*Morpheus:* That you are a baby, Leta. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. (long pause, sighs) Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
(In his left hand, Morpheus shows a blue pill.)
*Leta:* Ghhhhgaghhhhga (Leta's eyes widen and rool runs down Leta's chin)
*Morpheus:* You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your crib and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in Toyland and I show you how deep the toybox goes. (Long pause; Leta begins to reach for the red pill)
*Morpheus:* Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.
31. Kieran said:
Looks like me when I used to play hockey. I still taste puck in my mouth
32. Yolanda said:
hi. Love your site. Your kid is adorable.:)
33. Laurie said:
Is that a red hockey puck? Or a cap to something? I can't tell? :D
Her hair is getting so long and shaggy. :)
34. Lauri said:
Me: Ooohhh! Look how cute!
Ethan (7): What is that red thing?
Me: I'm not sure . . . probably a block of some kind.
Ethan: Or red cheese.
35. chrissy said:
Girl.A -- that was cute. :)
36. bb said:
the best pics you put up are of 'that kid'.. always a pleasure to see.
37. Meg said:
Hey Girl A--thanks for a laugh this morning!
Leta is, as ever, the queen of all she surveys.
38. maricar said:
Aww.. she's so adorable! Thanks, I really needed a smile today.
39. Mrs.Stray said:
She is so sweet. She has this look like she is trying way to hard to look innocent. Almost like "What, what??"
Girls.A ~~ Right on point with that Matrix bit!!
40. sab said:
It's okay I love seeing pictures of her!
41. Mo said:
did anyone go as the White Stripes and get inappropriately touchy with their brother-husband/sister-wife? Cause that would have been cool too.
(*haha* pleated jeans)
42. TracyDee said:
It's easier to cram things into your mouth when you don't have any teeth :)
43. kate said:
thanks also for the depression post. so wish i could forward it to all my friends and make them read it and understand what i'm going through better. i'm thankful i'm not as deep into as many, but it's still scary and hard and just knowing that i'm starting to journey in the right direction wtih therapy and all makes me feel better.
44. Paige said:
Oh man her hair is getting hilarious.
45. KS said:
Look at that! Jenny was number 1 and didn't even brag! We should all be so modest.
46. Jme said:
the way she was holding that thing, you know she's had practice. It's like, "hey, I'll just take a dainty nibble out of this red toy just as if it was a cracker." Any cheese to go along with it?
47. The Mighty Jimbo said:
mmmm, plastic-y goodness.
48. kim said:
absolutely understandable. and i love getting to "watch" her grow up ;o) and thank you for the "you be well for me" post..
49. Mari said:
She's so adorable!
50. Dre said:
Love that little "fat roll" crease in her wrist!
And, please, keep on posting the Leta pics! I love them!
51. Jamie said:
My ovaries, my uterus, can you hear them screaming? I need me one of those..STAT!
52. slick said:
again with the chubby hands! i can't take it anymore! she's just too cute!
53. andy said:
It reminds me of the scene in A Christmas Story with Ralphie sitting with a bar of LifeBoy (Sp?) in his mouth. "Over the years I had become quite the connoiseur of soap. . . ."
I love your party story. You would be fun to take place. Like my wife, who at 33 still likes to dress up each year at Halloween as Pippy Longstocking and go stomping through Whole Foods challenging people to armwrestle.
Adulthood is way more fun than being a kid: there's cool women and of course tequila.
54. Candice said:
Dooce,
She's starting to look more like you, you know.
—C.
55. Liz said:
Thank you for the depression post. I genuinely appreciate your openess on this topic, and doubt I would have gotten help without you.
Liz
56. 0123 said:
So, like how old are you? Brian Eno's dress-up phase was over by 1975. It was on to Peter Gabriel shortly thereafter. We need not mention Alice Cooper (1969), David Bowie (1972?) and the others.
57. red said:
pictures of Leta everyday would be just fine with all of us, i think. good Lord, she's cute.
58. Andreah said:
Thank you Heather for another realistic post on depression. Thank you for getting the help you need so we can all be here enjoying you, your family would not be the only ones to have lost you. Lastly thank you for helping me understand that I too might have the PPD and thank you for giving me the courage to ask for help when I needed it
P.S. All praise zoloft
59. Coelecanth said:
Man, it just isn't fair. She chews on a red plastic thing and everyone adores her. I do it and everyone pretends to not see while my S.O. takes away the rest of the tequila. Age-ism that's what it's called folks!
60. The Mighty Jimbo said:
i'm gonna have to agree with all the cute comments around here too, heather.
your daughter even makes MY ovaries skip a beat.
61. Up up up up up said:
Thanks for the Be Well for Me post.
up up up up up up points the
spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
it's done by people
up up up up up up points the
fingers of the trees
the lumberjacks with their bloody axes
are on their knees
and just when you think that you've got enough
enough grows
and everywhere that you go in life
enough knows
up up up up up up dances
the steam from the sewer
as she rounds the corner
the brutal wind blows right through her
up up up up up up raises
the stakes of the game
each day sinks its bootprint into her clay
and she's not the same
and just when you think that you've got enough
enough grows
and everywhere that you go in life
enough knows
half of learning how to play
is learning what not to play
and she's learning the spaces she leaves
have their own things to say
then she's trying to sing just enough
so that the air around her moves
and make music like mercy
that gives what it is
and has nothing to prove
she crawls out on a limb
and begins to build her home
amd it's enough just to look around
to know she's not alone
up up up up up up points
the spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
it's done by people
Up,up,up,up,up
-Ani DiFranco
62. shelli said:
OK two things -
1) I'm gonna get up at 5 freaking am, just to beat all of you foilks who have some scret desire that your life will be incomplete unless you are first to comment on the picture. HAVE YOU NO LIVES? :)
2) She is TOOOOOO cute for words, so I'll just leave it at that.
and 3) thanks for reminding me to play my music loudly, as I upload the best of Kansas and Bach's concerto #3 illegally onto my computer at work, so I can listen to my music loudly. Thanks indeed!
63. beachgal said:
btw, I'm utterly jealous of the red-headed thing Leta has going on. I hoped my son would be a red head, but no such luck. Leta is just so adorable. I'm almost aching for a girl now, even though I swore I was done with one.
64. Lindsey said:
Awwwe, she may look like Daddy but she's got Momma's appetite, and hey that kid is the cutest, keep the pics coming!
65. Chris From Ohio said:
"The Snozberries taste like Snozberries!"
(Is anybody else as freaked out by Gene Wilder as I am?)
66. Kano said:
All I can say is, You people are weird!
67. gladImNotFirst said:
How come every single day people get all excited about being the first to comment? Do they have no life??
68. lesa said:
I love all of these pictures of Leta. Keep 'em coming!
69. Beowulf said:
You are Nibbler from Futurama and I claim my free personal organiser.
70. the niffer said:
Chris from Ohio: Gene Wilder freaks me out, too. But his weirdness fits that role to a t.
71. Violet Beaurigard said:
Snozberries? Who ever heard of snozberries?
72. the niffer said:
I love Nibbler from Futurama - especially after seeing the episode where we find out that his people are all terribly smart and don't want to be seen as cute.
Leta is so Nibbler.
73. Sheryl said:
I always thought Snozberries was a fancy word for boogers. Blue boogers, somehow, but boogers nonetheless.
(berries - like the berries in "dingleberries" my exceptionally furry-assed persian cat hauls around, while pretending not to know they exist.)
74. -leslie.- said:
I haven't read all 73 or so comments, but I just wanted to point out that the lead singer for the YYY!s is Karen O. I'm thinking you probably already knew this, but just in case...
75. Chris From Ohio said:
*Wilder* Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing,
So the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing,
For the rowers keep on rowing,
And they're certainly not showing,
Any signs that they are slowing!
*Me* ::terrified::
76. Bryan said:
Reminds me of the soap Ralphie had to eat in The Christmas Story.
"What did this to you, Ralphie?"
"It was... soap... poisoning!"
"Noooooooooooooooo"
77. abc said:
remember when she was just a frog?
78. Amber said:
The way she looks at you when you take pictures of her...the look is always the same.
I wonder what it means.
79. Colleen from NJ said:
my 2.5 year old boy, Ian, has the hots for Leta. "Baby eats an apple...whoooooaaaa," he told me.
80. Fish said:
re: the "charm me" post from today--As charming as it is, maybe you should have Jon checked out for that problem.
For all those quoting The Christmas Story: "Oooh, fraGEEElay, must be Italian!"
81. LadyBug said:
Ooh, I loooove The Christmas Story!
I give it an "A plus plus plus plus plus plus plus plus...." (ad infinitum)
Adorable Leta, as always, Heather.
FISH, how much longer until you and Mrs. Fish have your little guppy?
82. Sheryl said:
Leta as adult: I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I scre heeee heeee heeeeamed.
83. Leon said:
Now, I haven't had a Flinstones Chewable Vitamin or a Children's Tylenol (or whatever that thing is) in a long time, but have they really gotten that big? I guess it's just like anything else - boobies, SUV's, wedding rings, egos etc.
.....damn I'm old
Much applause to Girl A and Andy for stealing my Matrix/Christmas Story brain waves before I could get them posted down
"I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU!"
84. jenB said:
i never tire of leta photos :-)
85. Dana said:
We bought a D70 this weekend I'm sooooo excited!! (not that my pics will be anything close to yours).
Thanks for your honesty RE: depression, I've brushed that place and it's a horror.
86. Tracy said:
Obviously, someone triple-dog-dared Leta to see whether the whole thing would fit. Someday, it'll be her out in the schoolyard with her tongue stuck on a pole.
87. Chloe said:
Come on, Leta! You can do it!
(Just don't choke on it.)
88. Michelle said:
I love Leta. She is the goddess of adorableness. But as a reader who does not have children I say out loud
MORE PHOTOS OF CHUCK!
LOL Have a great day!
89. Carol said:
I LOVE A Christmas Story and the "fra-geee-lay" part is our favorite.
It's almost time to get that video out again.
"you'll shoot your eye out!!" and the bumpus hounds are good too.
Yes, Fish when is the guppy coming? Have you taken the full belliness pic yet?
90. Katy said:
Ladybug and Carol, Mrs. Fish's remaining days as preggo is the first thing you see when you click on his name on his posts.
91. doonesbury said:
Sheryl - ha!
I am watching A Christmas Story on dvd this afternoon with my GF.
"...conscious of a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me..."
Just recognized this from your post-
Do you know every line in Christmas Story?!
92. Sarcastic Journalist said:
Said in the best Homer Simpson voice: "Ummmmm....blocks."
93. Cate said:
Um, so nobody shoot me or anything...And just let me preface by saying Leta is adorable with her big dark eyes and squidgy face...but I can totally see how someone would mistake her for a boy. I'm not saying she looks like a boy to me, but that I can see where the mistake could be made.
Do I need to kiss some serious butt now?
94. Neil said:
Cate - all babies are pretty androgenous looking. You're probably thinking Leta's shirt is not feminine.
But seriously, what an inane and dumbass comment. On par with "I'm first!" Ok, worse. Are you in junior high yet?
95. Neil said:
Cate, how did I do? Was that the kind of response you were looking for?
96. victoria said:
Cate, she looks like a boy to me, too. As far as I can tell, girls sometimes look like boys and vice versa at that age. What's the big deal?
97. victoria said:
Oh, and Neil? It's "androgynous," not "androgenous."
98. Cate said:
Oh, so you were just playing to what you thought my expectations were? Cute, Neil. Really.
I know babies are rather androgynous looking. And it's not a big deal. But whenever dooce talks about someone mistaking Leta for a boy, nobody else comes out and says "Yeah, I see how that could happen." Instead it's all "How could they?! When Leta is so obviously the most adorable darling baby *girl* there ever was. What a cretin for thinking she was a boy." So I was just going for a less adulatory, more honest approach to commenting.
99. Amanda B. said:
Leta is a hoot. I wonder if she'll go through a silly putty eating phase like I, uh, I mean my brother did.
What?!? I would soooooo marry Gene Wilder if I didn't already have an old man. Have you not seen Blazing Saddles? Young Frankenstien?
100. Alaska Danielle said:
True Story:
I met the Yeah Yeah Yeahs backstage at a festival this fall. I had never heard of them before, because I live under a fucking rock. My friend described the music, sort of, and said that he's sure the lead singer was a cheerleader in a former life based on her onstage presence. I spent most of my backstage time psuedo-stalking Richard Butler of the Psychadelic Furs and John Doe of X; when I ran into the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (as I stood craning my neck to find Mr. Butler and John Doe) my reaction was so grandmotherly I wanted to die:
Me: "So what band are you with, dear?"
Guitarist Dude: "The Yeah Yeah Yeahs."
Me: "Oh, didn't you just play on stage? I'd never heard of you. You were darling. Really gave it your all."
Guitarist Dude: "Errr....yeahthanks."
Singer Lady: klaj0ep-=vjk3-30 !
(She said something completely indecipherable and looked at me like she was about to stab me or put out a cigarette in my eye)
I also met those Franz Ferdinand kids, whom I kept referring to as Franco American. They humored me.
There really isn't a moral to this story, but the image of you singing like the cheerleader stabby chick made me giggle.
101. Neil said:
[Victoria, lol, good point! Must remember to spell-check my flames, even if they are special requests like this one was.]
Taking literally a mother's comments about the dearest thing in their lives, one way or another, is just... well, ridiculous. Whether it is adulatory or nit-picking the rationale. Dooce's a freakin mother, that is a force to be reckoned with.The Golden Rule is for interacting with others, for crap's sake - not for telling stories if you want your readers to remain in a waking state.
I just thought it was funny how you posted and were all like bending over and looking over your shoulder: now you can kick my butt.
Hint: it would make for better reading if you said: Leta looks like a freakin boy in that shirt!
That's right and *some people* probably wouldn't hesitate to title a picture "I Dressed Her As A Boy This Morning So I Could Screw With The People At The Post Office!"
102. eco2geek said:
Amanda B.:
That's Fran'-ken-stein.
103. Sheryl said:
Hey Amanda B!
I lurve Young Frankenstein! I remember seeing World's Greatest Lover and the Woman in Red at the The Foxy Cinema. When I was growing up, Gene Wilder movies used to make me peee heee heee my pants. Ok, that part wasn't so great - borrowing my sister's sweatshirt to wrap around my waist so I could leave the movie theatre. But Mister Wilder is hysterical no matter how you spell Frak-nin-stine
104. Danika said:
I find it funny that everyone compares her to Jon and how much she looks like him but then are like Dooce should be pissed about that one person calling her a boy. I mean uhh Jon is a man right? So why wouldn't Leta who apparently looks like him be confused as a boy?
Personally I think is some pictures she has looked like a boy and in others a girl. Like Neil pointed out... babies look pretty androgynous.
I still think she is very cute. Although I don't see her looking more like Jon or Heather.
105. Cate said:
You're right, Neil. I was being rather diffident. I'll stop that right away. I was just a little afraid of pissing off the "All hail, dooce!" crowd. I mean, I love dooce and all - why else would I be here - but seriously, sometimes it's like an epidemic of yes-men around here.
Leta totally looks like a boy in that t-shirt!
106. Cate said:
Plus, I'm bored and wishing I weren't chained to a desk. A work week this short, why should I have to work at all? I'd rather be home getting started on that whole feasting thing. And drinking.
107. eco2geek said:
"I am not a Frankenstein. I'm a Fronkensteen. Don't give me that. I don't believe in fate. And I won't say it."
--
"Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?"
"And you won't be angry?"
"I will NOT be angry."
"Abby someone."
"Abby someone. Abby who?"
"Abby Normal."
"Abby Normal?"
"I'm almost sure that was the name."
"Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?"
108. Sheryl said:
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: HE'S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT'S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN!
The Monster: RAAAAAAAA!
Igor: Ixnay on the ottenray.
109. Neil said:
Cate, you're chained to your desk? Now that is interesting.
110. eco2geek said:
Interesting. IMDB.com has "memorable quotes":http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072431/quotes from movies.
111. victoria said:
I just realized I may have made a mistaken assumption: I had concluded that dooce did NOT take offense when people thought Leta was a boy.
I reached this conclusion based on the assumption that if dooce wanted to forestall the whole mistaken-sex problem, she would dress Leta in frilly dresses or pink onesies. But instead of trying to prevent confusion, she seems to enjoy watching strangers squirm as they play "guess the baby's gender."
But everyone else in the comments section seems to assume that saying a baby girl looks like a boy is the most offensive comment any person could make to any mother.
If you folks are right, and I'm wrong, then dooce, please accept my sincere apologies.
112. Amanda B. said:
What up Sheryl and eco2geek!
"No matter how cruely I beg...DO NOT open this door."
Leta looks like a baby to me. Actually in this pic she sorta looks like Mel Torme. And we all know she doesn't *look* like Mel Torme. Chill out yo.
113. Fish said:
25 days and counting, thanks for asking.
Dooce: we had a name all picked out for our kid, but now we're going to name him "el Senor Loco Jumping Bean", because of the way he beats the living crap out of my wife's innards. It made me think back to all your posts last year about Leta having her feet securely wedged between your pancreas and your spleen. Good times.
All you Gene Wilder fans, (especially Amanda B with her bizarre but strangely intriguing crush on him): You're cracked. Everyone knows the real star of "Charlie" was Augustus Gloop. I betcha that guy switch straight from swilling liquid chocolate to swilling Yukon Jack once he got out of that damned factory.
114. eco2geek said:
All I know is that there are certain questions that, as a guy, you should *never* ask women. Such as,
"Are you pregnant?"
and, without knowing,
"What a cute baby boy!"
(I have only said _one_ of these things, to my lasting embarrassment.)
115. Sheryl said:
Let me outta here! I was joikng, didn't you know that? If you don't let me out, I'm gonna beat your heads in!" (paraphrasing - I'm on the train, using my blackberry)
Yo yo yo Amanda B
Kick it ova here babypup and let all the fly skimmies feel tha BEAT!
So I'm not a mom or anything. So take that into acct when you read this: I don't think I would care if someone got my baby's gender wrong. I studied painting in college and you would not believe the crazy ass shite people would imagine they saw in my work, and every now and then they would say something interesting that would change my own perceptions. I liked it. But I didn't give birth to it, so who knows? Not having the hormones nor carrying the torch of human civilization, the whole projection thing is just kinda interesting to me. Says more about the frame of mind of the speaker than the subject. Know whattimean?
Now if the kid was like 6 and didn't like the comment, I might have to kick some mofo ass. Aight.
116. kp said:
that last entry (about the liz phair song) made me cry. a lot of shit happened this year and i had convinced myself to just give up hope and not really expect anything great ever, but goddammit, dooce, you force hope down my throat.
thanks.
117. Amanda B. said:
All I'm saying is that if I had to pick the freakiest thing in that movie it would be the godforsaken Oompas. *shiver*
I would so be the secret ingredient in a Gene Wilder/Mel Brooks sam-ich.
I once asked a girl (who'd had her baby 2 months earlier) when she was due. Bad mojo.
Countdown to babyFish!
118. Amanda B. said:
KP- sorry. I didn't mean to post my goofy-talk right after you got through saying you were having a tough time.
I'm a goober. :)
119. dooce said:
dudes. she looks just like her father. OF COURSE she looks like a boy. don't most babies look like boys? i hate frilly things myself so I impose that taste on her. she's not allowed to wear frilly things however hard my mother tries and forces it upon her.
when she's 18 she can wear frilly, but not in ma house she ain't!
(to summarize: no offense taken when she is mistaken for a boy, except for when I correct the person AND THEY STILL refer to her as "fella." those persons deserve to be 9 months pregnant FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.)
120. GMM said:
Forget being first. I get to post right after Heather herself!!
121. Sheryl said:
KP, don't let go.
I've really struggled with keeping any sort of faith beyond my own self, but somehow I never let hope drift further than I could swim to from my raft.
I consider myself a *realistic pessimist*. Probability dictates that good things have to happen on occasion. And even that good things can sometimes last. Peace to you.
122. Sheryl said:
P.S. KP, sometimes Hope drifted back to me on its own, when I had let go or was too tired to swim.
123. Super Turtle Girl said:
I just read through all the comments and I realized that a lot of people are reading through the comments. Is this some kind of bizarre cultural phenomenon--the comment community?....I love the idea of a community forming around something so transitory and specific.
On a related note, you people do not understand babies. We are not so foolish to believe that these objects will fit entirely into our mouths. We are merely training our jaws to stretch to their maximum capacity. With time, we will be able to create greater and greater clearance. Like yoga, only different. Cleans out the chakras and stuff. It's a baby thing. You wouldn't understand.
(She says, as the little comment community fades into archives.)
124. coskel said:
I used to know a girl in high school who could put her whole fist in her mouth...I was SO unaware of why the guys all thought that was so amazing.
On a totally unrelated note...Heather, thanks for the post about finding your mate. If only, and I sure hope so.
-kel
- who is NOT looking forward to more holidays alone.
125. Molly said:
Great picture, as usual..
You TOTALLY need to check out this bitchin' site!
http://www.80s.com/Entertainment/ValleyURL/
126. Carol said:
Are you fucking kidding me?? I LOVE Liz Phair! If you haven't seen her live, you have to! She is so awesome.
OK, that's all.
127. Amanda B. said:
500 times? A day?
Oh yeah?! Well, I so got up off of the bed to change the channel on the t.v. because I could not locate my remote.
So there you go Ms. Tiny-thigh, Toned-ass woman.
128. Molly said:
Hey, Amanda B. there is an Oompa who lives in Milwaukee! I ran into him once at the Toys R Us.. he was only about 4 feet tall.. and my Sister-in-law looks at me and says, "Hey! that's the guy that was in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie!" and then even louder says, "HE WAS AN OOMPA LOOMPA!" He just looked at us smiled, waved, and continued shopping..
129. GirlA said:
Super Turtle Girl,
I think you hit on something...
Heather,
Do you feel a little bit like Horton in Horton Hears a Who? (Not that anyone wants to boil us in oil) This many-to-one relationship (tho there are many blogs and communities brought here and found here) must be a bit of a trip.
Y'all, Heather goes to a party, some people there wear pleated jeans (funny at first I thought this meant some kind of pintucked super lo-rise jeans. Because, well, I just imagined it that way) and meanwhile, while she is belting out *Maps* for a-we'll-never-really-know-if-it was-rapt-or-raised-eyebrow-audience, we're keeping the dustspeck alive.
It's not like everyone else at the party had thousands of little generators going, keeping their internet dustspeck (humor, energy, hope) rolling...even dreaming of little Letas when they sleep...
130. bb said:
Dooce, I think I've found that, but you articulate it in such a way that makes me long for it, even though I have it. Does that seem weird? You seem to have the best kind of love...
131. Carol said:
As for numerous baby faux pas(es?)...
When I was hugely preggers but not nearly due (Thanksgiving) a sweet old man asked me if it was a Christmas baby. I nicely responded, No, New Years. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was due Valentines Day.
People asked me if I was having twins all the time. When I politely said no. They asked if I "was sure." (OK, that one pissed me off. Especially when they were 23, skinny and wondering why the hell I was in their stylish boutique) But, really I didn't mind.
Then after the baby was 6 weeks old, Someone asked me when I was due. That kind of sucked, but I understood. It takes a while to get the weight off.
Now that I'm an ass-kicking, boot camp-going size 4 (yes, ladies you can get it back), when your best friend's dumb ass brother asks you if you're pregnant again... you make him feel as stupid as you possibly can.
So, to all of those who have said something and then felt bad... don't worry - you weren't the first. And you won't be the last.
And any pregnant lady who doesn't have a sense of humor has more pressing things to worry about than a comment from a stranger. Like having a kid!
132. Carol said:
Dooce- just to make you feel better for letting Leta fall over and not jumping up to get her...
Our one and a half year old has been screaming for about 30 minutes. It's a phase. He's not sick, he's not hungry, he's not in pain. He can go to bed by himself. But this madness (won't go to bed until he is in OUR bed) has got to end, so... I'm reading Dooce and all the comments and my husband is watching something on TV... and we are painfully listening to that sweet boy cry and wail and are waiting for the phase to BE OVER!
133. Kieran said:
OK I have to tell someone...U2 drove up 7th ave in NYC on a flatbed truck playing songs...that was the coolest!
134. Carol said:
Kieran- today? that is cool.
135. Carol said:
OK, I'm the only on right now, but I gots ta give a little shout out to my sistahhs... Amanda B. (aka Ashley), Sheryl, LadyBug and Fish. (Fish I know you're not a sistah, but whatever...) Oh, and the lovely Dooce.
Fo Shizzle!
136. Sheryl said:
Yo Carol
Da Peterbilt jus be pullin in ta ma crib. 'Sup?
Baby boy go to sleep?
137. Amanda B. said:
'Sup Carol. I'm impressed that anyone is ever a size 4- much less post baby. Rock on!
GirlA- that's it...let loose your inner Kansas. ;)
138. lavonne said:
uh-oh... watch your bandwidth spike. you're on kottke.
139. Carol said:
Yo, yo, yo... Sheryl. You up too?
Thanks fo aksin.. yeah, theys baby boy laid down like lake placid after a LONG while. Thank they Lord, cuz you know, I be hatin that shit. Lordy, growd up in the big A T L and cain't be talkin no shit, but read yo post other night and I got it honey. You's be talkin some straight shit. I knows you good.
OK, I feel bad posting like this, fo SHIZZLE.
Word.
Love, love. Honey. That all it be.
140. Carol said:
Yo, Amanda B.!!!-
You up, too!?
Yeah, haven't been a size 4 since college (graduated in '90). But Boot Camp is the shit!! It's awesome. Fun!! Outside, 6 in the am... military guys yelling at you (nicely) and kicking your ass all over the park. Works, too.
I still have a ways to go, but feeling good. I wish I could show you what I looked like pregnant. HUGE!!! I had an 11 pounder (!!) the first time and a 10 pounder the second time (he was a week late). And I'm 5'4".
Yes, they were both C-sections. What do you think I am .. a huge vagina?
heee heeeheee
141. Sheryl said:
Amanda B,
I done let my inner Kansas out, in the kettle. Whew that was a looooong ass commute and I had to pee - like I aint even in Kansas anymo.
My BF is "watching football" which means he is asleep like Lake Futon.
142. Carol said:
Oh, God. Just turned on Liz Phair on the iTunes. That means I'll be up for another hour, drinking beer and my husband will so much more ammunition for our therapist in a few days. : )
But, hey, I love reading all this shit.
143. Carol said:
How can you leave an ENTIRE WORD out of your post? I'm "Top 25 Educated" after all...
It's the Heineken. And the screaming sweet baby boy.
Ah... motherhood. Craziness at it's most superficial and loveable level.
144. Sheryl said:
I'm sure my brain would be functioning at quarter-mast if I had kids (not that your is!). I'm used to getting super absorbed in things. Not sure I could do it all. Sure I couldn't, actually.
145. Sarcomical said:
yay! the hair is growing!...
cutie-pie
146. Mal said:
Heather Armstrong-
I LOVE YOU.
Your words are so perfect, so inspiring.
They are exactly what I need to hear, phrased so perfectly.
If you have amazing talent - photography, writing, and being the best wife and mother. Thank you for this web site, thank you.
-Mallory Walsh
147. Carol said:
Sheryl - You get used to it. But only sort of. It IS madness. Especially when you have two. But you LOVE them more than anything and they are fun... mostly.
Most of my friends have three, and they say they've gone over "the edge."
OK, so now ... my husband wants three!! I kind of don't. Two healthy boys, count your blessings, right? Plus, I get GINORMOUS! I dont know. I'm almost 37... what do you think ...Sheryl and Amanda B. and Dooce?
Sorry, Dooce, but you kind of like to read it, right? Don' t mean to take up space, but we've become a community kind of and it IS late....
Did I mention that Liz Phair rocks?
148. Heather said:
As a Heather whose John died way too early - you have a beautiful power of making me miss him just a little extra because you make me remember how great being in love is. Thank you.
149. partypooper said:
Find it? No I won't. And I spent 15 years in a marriage in denial, thinking maybe I had it.
150. Sheryl said:
Carol,
I'm 37 now and haven't even started :) Not that I will. I am 90% sure that I won't.
Love kids. Love life. Just don't think I want anything or anyone to take over my consciousness. I spent so many years focused outside of me, I have a lot of catching up to do.
151. Cooter said:
Heather, I've been visiting your site every day. I LOVE the pictures of Leta (she's beautiful), but I finally had to comment on your last post about finding that ONE person. I hope you're right, and just wanted to say 'thanks for writing it!'
152. Carol said:
Sheryl-
Nothing wrong with freedom and independence!!! I have so many friends my age who are not married and have no kids.
Whatever you want, you probably (prolly?) will get. Rock on, Sistah....Whatever makes you happy. That's all.
153. honestyrain said:
ah, hope. both in the eyes of this toy eating beauty and your promise of true love out there for all of us.
life is beaufiul.
so is red wine.
154. Chellerella said:
Love your post today - cause that's what I gotta believe.
155. Sheryl said:
Carol, I'm working my way up to commitment. I'm slow :)
Gotta go, working on a NaNoWriMo project and I'm Behind *gasp*... Hope you have a good evening. :)
156. termagaunt said:
God, I saw the title of that post and had a flashback to salad days. That song was, like, an anthem or something when i gave up both my last dotcom job and my college boyfriend within weeks of each other. She repeats it, "I won't decorate my love," a thousand times like a mantra. And while I don't (yet) have 'that' person, I find it bears repeating as that mantra... as in why bother pooh-pooing, dressing up, dismissing, dramatising, or just forgetting to wholly embrace or appreciate everything in your life that you love, from the guilty pleasures and childish moments to the profound and illuminating. Easier said than done, of course (which is why it needs to be repeated so many thousands of times)... but if everything we loved was loved unconditionally and undeniably and unquestionably, and the rest (the bad dotcom jobs and the perfectly fine but not undecorable boys, for starters) left for the past, the world would be a hellofa lot more tolerable. Here's hoping.
157. Carol said:
Know you have to go, but what is NaNoWriMo? Answer tomorrow.
Good luck.
158. Kimi said:
NaNoWriMo is a sort of group writing club for a month. You join and try to write 50,000 words in that month. They count the words at the end (they don't read the product) and if you've reached 50k, then you "win". Along with everyone else who also finished.
Oh yeah, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month.
159. Carol said:
Thanks, Kimi!
160. erin said:
"If you haven’t already, you will, too."
i hope you're right. and that when i find it next time, it's mutual.
not to be melodramatic. i'm happy for you and your beautiful family.
161. Kristine said:
My name is Kristine. I have a problem.
I have thee worst case of digital camera envy EVER.
These pictures are not making it better. I insist you post a BAD picture where the camera did NOT take the picture the way you wanted it to.
I only (usually) post the best pictures my camera can produce. Those seem to be few and far between.
If I see someone with a digital camera I think, "I bet that one is better than mine."
I have like 5 of them if you count the video camera. I keep giving the cameras to my kids so I can justify buying a new one.
It's a sickness. Help. ;)
Signed-
Please Post A Bad Picture
162. Lisa said:
On an unrelated note, you've so got to go and check: this out. If you haven't done so recently it'll help you clean your closet out.
163. Lisa said:
Oops: this :
http://www.buriedlede.com/projects/sweater2.html
164. wanting_more said:
Does anybody here feels that dooce should post a midnight entry (Im sure Leta must be waking her up like a dozen times in the night) for all us dooce-fans and the far end of the world ??
I had my dooce fix early morning..and im craving for more...........
165. Holly said:
I really identify with your last post.
For most of my early adulthood I jumped from one short fling to another, occasionally landing briefly in very short-term relationships. I was starting to think that maybe I just wasn't the relationship type. And then BAM, I met my husband and we've been happily together ever since.
166. Lushlife said:
It must be the age - from 9 months onwards every unwhingey,noncrying moment with your baby seems like a Kodak moment. I have to restrain myself from posting a good proportion of the hundreds of photographs I have been taking of my one year old daughter. Every day their beautiful personalities and their joy of discovery are being physically expressed and its hard not to want to share.
167. Mark Hovis said:
What a pretty baby! Love reading your postings. You are a very good writer. Thanks for sharing.
168. Cori said:
Good morning everyone!