Apparently, when I was a baby I looked like Jon Armstrong
Monday, November 15 2004
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Daily Photo
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That's a photo in a scrapbook of my baby pictures that I made for my mother in 1998. Stars, and circles, and cutouts, oh my!
- The girl in the window
Wednesday, 06 August 2008 - Newsletter: Month Fifty-four
Tuesday, 05 August 2008 - Next thing you know he'll be voting for Obama
Monday, 04 August 2008 - To the rescue
Thursday, 31 July 2008 - Currently listening to: Chromeo
Thursday, 31 July 2008
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59. Sarah said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
FIRST FIRST FIRST!!!
60. Angie said:
You definately do - how spooky! He doesn't wear dresses like that though does he?
48. Sarah said:
Ok...now I can actually comment, now that I've been first. Funny, I never cared about that, but all of a sudden the picture changed and my adreneline just PUMPED and I now feel like I won the fucking Oscar for BEST ACTRESS or something!! WOW, what a rush!
Heather, adorable baby picture!! Now we can all see how much Leta really looks like YOU. My baby and even my toddler pics look EXACTLY like my daughter's pics at the corresponding ages. It is actually kind of freaky, but cool too.
Oh yea, late to the game but...
GEORGE!!!
49. MetroDad said:
That's not too bad. When I was a baby, I looked like Chuck! (but with more drool).
50. Sondra said:
See, Leta looks more like you than you think! Cute dress!
51. Dawn said:
I insist the Leta flag be waved here ~ option 2 caption ~ AT LEAST I LOOKED LIKE LETA WHEN I WAS A BABY! Do you bite Leta's elbow dimples too?
52. manda said:
I think you look more like Princess Leta than Jon. Such an adoable picture!
53. adrienne said:
I like the hair sticking up on top of your head. Mine still does that.
54. Moxie said:
That Kewpie doll curl you got goin'on is the shit.
55. Dre said:
Wow! Always thought Leta was a spitting image of Jon, but -- whoah! This picture shows that she's got alotta Heather in her, too! So cute!
56. Fish said:
Talk about Tintin
57. Moxie said:
On second thought....you sure you didn't photoshop your head on one of those crochet-doll toilet paper
cozies???
58. Em said:
Man, aside from the baby photo I have a VERY SIMILAR SCRAPBOOK. (from the same time period, apparently scrapbooks were the RAGE!)
Yikes.
40. sab said:
See she does look like you. :)
41. Tabbie said:
I like the dress. I makes sense to make a dress with so much netting no baby can lie down.
42. GirlA said:
On da day that yo' ass wuz born
The angels gots together
And decided create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in yo' hair of gold
And starlight in yo' eyes of blue...
n' shiznit
Gotta say, I don't think your baby pic looks that much like Leta, except maybe the shape of the crown of the head... your blue eyes, the shape of your eye brows, the angle of your nose, the shape of your mouth - all different. But you were a *gorgeous baby*, and of course, we all know Leta is.
And we love to see pics of you both -
Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time yo' ass are near?
Just like me, they long be
Close yo' ass
43. Julie said:
umm that's kinda borderline creepy...
44. Sarah In Alaska said:
Wow, you two look so much alike. My boys are two and a half years apart and when my youngest was born, he was the spitting image of his brother. Everyone called them pete and repeat. To this day , everyone still asks if they are twins. But, to put a little twist on it, My oldest is the twin of his grandfather on his dad's side and the youngest is the twin of his uncle on my side, but they still look like twins, plus my little sister (i am 31, she is 8), looks identical to my youngest. People ask me all the time if they are twins. Go figure. The miracle of life.
45. kEma said:
Apparently when you was a baby you looked like a DOLL (okay, okay Jon Armstrong DOLL)! Now we know where all that cuteness comes from..
46. emji said:
I grew up in Central Canada (nowhere near the American Midwest) and I was raised to call them NYLONS. My mother called them NYLONS or STOCKINGS or sometimes NYLON STOCKINGS.
47. Margaret said:
You were cute and all, but where's George??
Can he have his own page??
of George!!!!
30. Different Patrick said:
Top twenty-five!!!! w00t!
31. Shlee said:
Too cute.
GirlA, you kinda weirded me out there for a minute.
Now the real question is, who did George look like as a baby? (blatant request for a baby George photo post)
32. Fran said:
Didn't you know that we are biologically attracted to people who look like us? So we can make more people who look like us. This is a prime example of that happening.
33. M. said:
I actually got in an argument when I was 8 over whether to call them stockings or tights. Of course not tights, right, because those are pants. Stupid slut.
34. Jennifer said:
Heather, Look at that you totally look like leta, or her rather looking like you. My son looks like a combo of my hun and my father. So where am I . Lucky duck. Great post on the living life in the pj's. Life is best in pj's
jenn
35. christilee said:
Yes, you looked like Jon. Leta is looking more and more pretty as the days go by. Such darn lucky people you are with your beautiful family. Much Love.
36. pkd said:
That sticking-up, kewpie-doll hair style has a name, they used to call it a roach. Used as a verb, roaching the baby's hair up.
37. Human Writes said:
When will that Dooce Baby Doll be available on Cafe Press?
38. beachgal said:
Great pics from the weekend and today. I love Mondays only because I can come see THREE pictures on Dooce! And guess what! Dooce is (more) famous:
http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=BABYBLOG-11-09-04
39. melissa s said:
I thought the photo was LETA from the thumbnail! What a surprise - you even had red hair!
When I was about 8yrs old, I used to think that I didn't resemble anyone in my family until I saw baby pictures of my grandma.
20. Lindsey said:
Oh My God! It's a miracle Leta does look like you! Or well um, you kinda look like Jon so it all evens out I guess :)
21. Dale Cruse said:
Funny how being the first too post a comment here (whether one has anything to say or not) has suddenly risen to the status of being a first poster on Slashdot.
22. Sarcomical said:
holy crap. you DO!
see? leta looks like momma, too!
23. Mir said:
Wow, cut out that face and paste it into a frog suit and you'd really have something there. ;)
24. KS said:
I had to tell you that those motion-sensor toilets have a little rubbery button on top of the round sensor area that you can PUSH with your foot or finger to flush! No frantic waving to get your shit to go down. :)
25. Bruce said:
when I was a baby I looked like Lou Costello. HEY ABBOTT!!
26. anna said:
hey beachgal-- thanks for the link
hey dooce-- *40,000* hits a day? holy shamoly! Is it true? No wonder people get all squeally when they post first. That's some impressive traffic.
27. anna said:
Not that I doubt The Power of The Dooce, or anything. I just sometimes doubt The Accuracy of the Online Media.
28. beachgal said:
I wasn't sure if someone else had posted it or not, I didn't read the comments from over the weekend.
29. Colleen from NJ said:
Yes, Jon in white ruffley panties and dress. I had that roach hair- do, too.
We East Coasters have a bit of an advantage to be the first post. I admit I felt a smug sense of satisfaction to be a first-poster once. Oh, the life of stay-at-homes...
11. Melanie S said:
What does yo baby daddy think about that? I thought she looked more like you all along. Pretty momma, pretty baby.
The hair style is called a "Jimmy Roacher". What were they thinking?
I finally got the link fixed so you can hear the song "My Baby Daddy".
Copy and paste into browser...
http://abecx.net/music/mybabydaddy.wma
Enjoy, Dooceland!
12. RockStar Mommy said:
Ooooooh! Look everyone!! I'm 43rd!!! This is SO exciting!!!
13. shellibells said:
omgoodness little leta!!!!!!
14. Sheryl said:
GirlA, too funny - I like humor that bends the rules or is absurd (the best kind). One of the reasons I love Dooce - she likes to experiment with rules in a wonderful way, in a life-affirming way. Her fans are always heart-warming, if not as brave. Which is probably the way it should be :)
And I agree, though both girl babies (Dooce and Leta) are beautiful, I think they look pretty different in the major features categories.
15. Becca said:
I don't see it. But I do see some of Leta in that picture, maybe that is what people mean when they say you look like Jon.
16. The Mighty Jimbo said:
i wonder how many people actually set their alarm in the morning just for that ellusive first comment.
17. Fish said:
Once again, I have to apologize in advance for being the first person with the temerity to point out the most obvious question brought about by today's photo, and the accompanying commentary:
"Does this mean you and John are related?"
I'm sorry, Dooce. You can now permanently block my IP address.
18. Fish said:
sorry, I meant JON, not john.
19. Sheryl said:
LOL, Fish, I thought that was what Dooce was implying too!
1. Kaycee said:
I like that there's a race to be first.
I also like how I'm always a loser in that race, but I still show up. It's like when you run a 10K with 40,000 other people (which is, incidentally, the approximate number of hits this site gets daily, according to something I read somewhere... a very reliable source).
2. Amanda B. said:
Hey! Wait a minute! You don't have a large Scottish melon in that picture at all!
I looked exactly like Hoss from Bonanza for the first 14 months of life...
3. the husband said:
Yes, Heather and I are related. She's my sister.
4. Rachel said:
I love your pink fluffy dress. You really need to find one for Leta. :)
5. mihow said:
Brother and sister! Hot damn! Leta is homemade!
< duelingbanjos.mp3 />
6. mihow said:
duelingbanjos.mp3
(i'm kidding. of course.)
7. Kim said:
Funny!! My hubby and I also kind of look alike in our baby photos. Well, we do and we don't. And when we look at our kids we think she looks like he and he looks like she .... or wait, is it the other way around? I just don't think you can tell that early. But then again, Leta does look like a little Jon. Letajon. Little Jon.
I just love love love your site!!!
8. Fish said:
HO-LEEEEEEE SHIT!
Maybe I should go into shock journalism, like that guy on Batural Born Killers. I seem to have a nose for the truth (like Kirk Rocker).
Come to think of it, tho', it was only a matter of time before this revelation: Mormon... Southern...
9. Fish said:
sorry again, its Natural, not Batural.
jeez i gotta lay off the sudafed
10. Melanie S said:
Now the Dooce is being stalked. That's what you get for posting pictures of your poor stalking victims. You're teaching the internet how to stalk. ;)
91. the niffer said:
Now, is Chuck also related? Because he's going to feel mighty left out of this incestuous family.
92. Foster said:
Nope, I still have to say that Leta is 100% Jon, 0% Heather in the looks dept.
93. pretendingsanity said:
There is hope yet that Leta will look like you! Actually she looks very much like that picture.
94. carrie said:
Because of you and Leta, the other day I found myself walking through a supermarket with a baby sock in my hand, looking for the one-socked baby who was missing it. I found a mom at the checkout with a completely sockless baby, whose Mom had tucked the other sock into her purse, and she was totally shocked that someone came and looked for her with the mate in hand. Two morals to the story: One, your blog inspired me to perform a good deed, and Two, you are not the only one- or no- socked baby Momma out there, so take heart.
95. beachgal said:
That is so sweet, Carrie.
96. Amanda B. said:
*Call the police*
97. Jenny said:
All this, and you scrapbook too? Mercy. My husband and I are getting more and more similar as the years go by - it's like the saying about dogs and their owners looking similar...
98. Pixie said:
Look-alikes run in my family too, but it's oddly deceptive. For example, I am almost the spitting image of my mother at my age, who is in turn the spitting image of her mother at middle age. However, put a moustache on me and I look EXACTLY like my dad.
99. emdot said:
This is what you need to do. Step one: laminate that picture. Step two: make a laniard (sp?) (cough cough). Step three attach said baby pic lamination to laniard. Step four: wear that sucker around your neck. Step five: to next person who comments "he [sic] doesn't look like you at all" brandish said laminated photo on styley retro i-went-to-summer-camp laniard and say "see this motherfucker?! i am so this baby's mother and she looks just like me asshole." Step six: think of other profanity to stick into sentence for variation and self entertainment.
Repeat step five as necessary.
84. rabooka said:
Very good idea emdot!
85. jen said:
I thought that was a picture of Leta..so I guess she DOES look like you after all?!
86. Darwin said:
Some scientist-person told me once that studies have shown most babies--up until about 2 yrs. of age--resemble the father, no matter who they end up resembling later in life.
It's a survival-of-the-species thing. Apparently dad's less likely to eat a kid that looks like it shares his genes.
So clearly, Jon is not your brother, but your father.
Or maybe we need to talk to Freud, about picking husbands who resemble...well, you know.
87. Amanda B. said:
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two.
One to hold the ladder and one to hold the penis...uh, light bulb.
88. Michelle in San Diego said:
Heather,
I want to thank you for your constant promotion of Interpol. I wouldn't have bought antics without your endorsement and I would seriously have been missing out.
"Dooce.com affecting the lives of people everyday in a myriad of ways."
M.
89. Nikka said:
Love the Alfalfa-do.
Once adorned my teacup poodle with gel, and got similar results.
90. Fish said:
Okay, I just had a chance to read your posts over the weekend, Dooce, and I'm truly flattered that I've made such an impression on your daughter:
“She likes the fish, Leta, she likes the fish.â€
All that just for posting silly jokes about the girl with outlet costume.
P.S. that costume was very freudian, don't you think?
73. Ty said:
I so told you that would happen with the buffalo wings! I posted a comment about the after effects when you first posted about wings! My guy friends call Buffalo Wing Bowel Movements (BWBMs), "Fire Sh*t" ...sound about right??
74. espressoblogger said:
Heheh, Buckwheat!
75. Sheri said:
Ouch. Ouch.
Yes, buffalo wings will do that to you.
On the bright side, though, you've found the cure to chronic constipation.
*grin*
76. eco2geek said:
Fish > "P.S. that costume was very freudian, don’t you think?"
So much so that, underneath her costume, she wore a Freudian slip.
(Ba dum pum.)
77. Cece said:
Maybe if you add 10 wings a day to your diet, things will sort themselves out in your bottom system.
78. beachgal said:
"Bottom system" never ceases to make me laugh.
79. LadyBug said:
Me either, beachgal. I was just sitting here snickering over that.
I was also trying to remember what movie it was where Meg Ryan (I think?) went to a costume party dressed as a Freudian slip. I think she ended up super-glued to someone? Hmmm...can't seem to recall. Anyone? Anyone?
80. Fish said:
I agree with Cece. More wings are the solution.
Yup. More wings, and then you can be on a first-name basis with the Roto-rooter guy.
81. victoria said:
Maybe you should just have Starbucks set up a baby sock lost & found for you. (Did you lose the other one in the vicinity of Starbucks as well?) Given what they charge for lattes, it's the least they can do.
82. Anita said:
Could be a solution to constipation though, eh?
83. Human Writes said:
I'm fantasizing that your post-wing shitfest face is similar to the face you're making in the baby picture. Kind of a cross between satisfaction and horror.
61. Sheryl said:
Come take my hand and together we will ride,
On the Wings Of Love
Up and above the clouds the only way to fly
Is on the Wings of Love
On the Wings of Love only the two of us, together flyin' high
Flyin' high upon the Wings of Love
You look at me and I begin to melt,
Just like the snow when a ray of sun is felt
OUCH
62. Kieran said:
what a cute Baby!!!!!!!!!!!
63. Sharon said:
Sheri (#79), that's exactly what I was thinking, about the bright side!
grin
64. Brian said:
well at least those 20 wings are sure to keep you "regular". :)
65. Lisa said:
Today's Google Ad: Stinky Feet Eliminated!
Heyyyyy! Who said anything about her feet stinking?? She just lost a sock!
66. beachgal said:
I'm also impressed that Ms. Dooce can eat 20 wings in a sitting. I'm normally completely stuffed at 12, and if they are even somewhat spicy, too on fire to continue eating.
67. Andrea said:
Re: today's buffalo wings entry...did you realize you've found a solution to your constipation problem?!? :)
68. Angel said:
Preparation H has a numbing/cooling effect on what I call lovingly "Hot Wing Ass"
69. Amanda B. said:
Hot boiling diareah isn't really an upgrade from constipation. :)
70. Fish said:
"Hot, boiling diareah"!!
Amanda B's comment is priceless, and once again proves that this comment page is the coolest around.
71. Amanda B. said:
The Master of All Correctness is correct!
72. Chloe said:
Dammit! Not only am I not the first person to comment on the photos... ever. I can't even be the first to comment on the entirely hilarious phrase "hot boiling diareah" which I think would be slightly less hilarious if "diarrea" were actually spelled correctly. Kudos, Amanda B.!
164. Fish said:
Chloe: I'm so enamored with the phrase that I'm going to try to use it in conversation for the rest of the day.
For example:
"Man, traffic was slower than hot boiling diarrea today," or
"Damn, that ketchup comes out slower than hot boiling diarrea."
165. KS said:
So hilarious. The diarrhea, I mean.
166. Fish said:
If I get home late, I'm sure gonna be in hot boiling diarrea with the missus.
167. Fish said:
My constant mis-spelling of diarrhea is gonna get me into hot boiling diarrhea.
168. Super Turtle Girl said:
How can you discuss yucky stuff when you have that picture of a cute baby right in front of you...Look at those rosy cheeks.
169. Fish said:
Super Turtle Girl: Alas, you forget that the person in the picture is the source from which the hot boiling diarrhea came.
170. Sheryl said:
But Fish, hot boiling diarrhea is NOT SLOW like traffic or ketchup.
It is not exactly fast and steady either, though... hmmm
It is instead more like random violent, bursts of molten lava - with a smell that could shave the paint off the walls!
171. Fish said:
Okay, Sheryl, how 'bout:
"gee, these instant mashed potatos are about as yummy as hot boiling diarrhea."?
172. lily said:
:) that's such a cute picture, and that scrapbook looks very thick to me! how sweet, you made that for you mom.
lol i was laughing so hard on your thinking entry about the 20 buffalo wings, maybe now you two will be able to control you buffalo wings eating frenzy! lol or maybe not. hehe
173. lily said:
ahh i left off the r off you twice!
157. Colleen from NJ said:
Wow... Is George suffering, too? At least you and Jon can ask Leta to lend you some Balmex for your HBD assburn.
I still want buffalo wings, though.
158. Sheryl said:
Fish,
if someone said: "gee, these instant mashed potatos are about as yummy as hot boiling diarrhea.�
I would say: this sounds more like a texture thing than a flavor thing - Potatoes are so bland it just can't apply to the taste. Prolly need to add some more powdered potato flakes and spend more time mixing to fix the texture.
I know some curries that would qualify though. I love curry. Looks the same texture and color coming out as going in. But tastes better than fake mashed potatoes. Ok, I digress...
159. Fish said:
Sheryl: Whoa. Who would've thought I'd run into a hot boiling diarrhea afficionado today?
One can tell that you've put some thought into this.
160. Kim said:
So Leta DOES really look like you! Yay!! She looks SO much like Jon, but really, so did you! Now, what did JON look like as a baby? The world needs to see!
161. Colleen from NJ said:
sorry, just realized George was not there. For some reason I thought he was in on the Cheddar goldfish day... and figured goldfish was the light lunch you spoke of.
162. Laurie said:
Ladybug, the meg ryan movie is D.O.A. also starring dennis quaid i believe. You learn so much during late night HBO watching. :)
Apparently I looked like a blend of several relatives until I was 6 or so and then I started looking like my parents. I realized a few days ago that my father and I have the exact same hands, it's cool to watch them when I'm typing or making chicken wings (maudlin I know. :D)
163. Carol said:
Fish- I tried to comment on your site, but couldn't. Anyway, sorry Dooce, but speaking as the consumate stroller whore, that is one cool stroller!
146. Jen said:
Yah for the SB. I want to see more. Are you a 2Ps girl?
147. Sheryl said:
Fish, I have a vivid imagination. I've never compared hot boiling diarrhea with anything before ...
Though once I did eat 2 tablespoons of wasabi on a bet. And that was a scary-ass experience the next day. Felt like my "bottom system" shed it's internal lining - much like the roof of your mouth after you drink scalding coffee, or like a Python turning itself inside out to molt. But the guy who ate 5 tablespoons of wasabi spent the night in the emergency room.
148. mihow said:
For a developing example of Schizophrenia and the Internet, see the comments section at dooce.com.
149. Aleigh said:
Hey Dooce -- What happened to DJ Blurb?
150. Fish said:
Mihow: not schizoprenia, post-structuralism, silly.
We'll hang ourselves tomorrow ... unless Godot comes.
151. Sheryl said:
Go, Dot, Go!
couldn't resist.
152. Fish said:
Sheryl, many of my grad school professors would have given you an "A" for that statement.
153. Becky said:
it always disturbs me seeing pictures that basically have the subjects posed sitting backwards to the camera then make the poor babies crane their necks around. it almost looks painful...
agreeing with most everyone: this pictured DOES look a lot like Leta. Precious.
154. eco2geek said:
It's been widely known for some time that socks disappear in the laundry. And now we have evidence that socks disappear off of babies' feet while perambulating.
The mystery deepens.
155. Tracy said:
Well, hell, there goes my holiday gift idea for the Blurbodoocery:
http://www.gourmetmikes.com/screamsphinh.html
156. Sheryl said:
Fish, Aw heck, are you an academic?
135. Fish said:
No, I sold out after a year of grad school and became a *gasp* lawyer.
136. Sheryl said:
LOL I was going to add "(feigning surprise)" on my last post.
Let me guess, philosophy... or ummm, philosophy of science. Or was it rhetoric.
137. Tracy said:
Screaming sphincter, Fish is a shark!
138. Sheryl said:
OMG Tracy - I almost fell off my chair when I refreshed, laughing so hard. The file cabinet broke my fall - painful!
Fish, partnership is easier to get than tenure some say. From my pov it's a toss-up.
139. Human Writes said:
The best thing about wings (besides the taste) is the throat-searing, eyeglass-fogging buffalo wing burps they empower. I've had a many an instance when the burps were so raw and fiery that I threw up in my mouth. Even Tivo can't beat that.
140. ella's ma said:
I just now read yesterday's post about Leta and the goldfish. If there are goldfish crackers within a 20 foot radius of my daughter, she knows, and she.must.have.them. Period. They are crack for babies.
141. Bec said:
Better then looking like Neil Armstrong I guess... :lol:
142. Fran said:
So we now know how to spell diarrhea, but what is prolly?
I'll say it again...people are attracted to themselves (people who like them)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/scotland/1792897.stm
143. Chellerella said:
The sock - how cool is the sock story - I love the Internet!
144. Master of the Obvious said:
Anyone else sitting here thinking about what a shark looks like, comparing to a lawyer, comparing to Neil Armstrong in a spacesuit?
Took me a while - but Yes, I am Master of the Obvious
145. Master of the Obvious said:
Fran, Mebbe you are taking TV *and* spelling too seriously. Reed it owtlowd fer chrisssake
124. robin said:
At least you didn't spill coffee on yourself.
125. Karen Rani said:
On the subject of poop: I once had a male roommate who drank draft beer, despite the raging ring of fire he would endure after a night of such, so he put a roll of toilet paper in the freezer for the morning after.....therefore, you can still eat hot wings! It just takes a bit of foresight.
On the trip to Starbucks with Leta - I get it. I totally get it. I never thought I'd be that woman either. My 4 month old Thomas is the male version of Leta - he rarely naps because I haven't discovered the art of precise napping that you speak of. He screams - ALOT with a capital fucking A. Thank God for Paxil.
Hugs,
Karen
126. Jen C said:
Very cute baby pic!
127. Pascale Soleil said:
20 buffalo wings... Who would have thought the cure for constipation was THAT SIMPLE?
128. Master of the Obvious said:
If 20 Buffalo Wings is the cure for constipation, what's the cure for ass-blisters?
129. heather said:
wow never knew those Robeez exsisted very cool shoes just ordered a pair hehe u should get a commision
130. Carol said:
Yes, what IS prolly?
Love the Starbucks story. That's happened to me about twice a week for the past 3 years. And now I have TWO. It just gets worse. And better.
Dooce, you're a great writer.
131. Harriet said:
Ladies, R U kidding?
Prolly = Probably
132. e said:
Leta TOTALLLY looks like you!
133. shy me said:
That's Leta's Mommy for SURE
134. hg said:
The only thing worse than calling it "The Costco" is calling it "Costco's." It seems to be a Brooklyn/Queens/Jersey thing, and I HATE IT.
115. Jenny said:
Leta looks like you. My brother and I looked exactly the same as babies, and we're 13.5 years apart.
116. pismire said:
From now on whenever I think about eating wings (and I eat them ALL THE TIME), I will forever visualize hot, boiling diarrhea. But my image will include blue cheese dressing. Cheesy, hot, boilin' diarrhea.
117. Lauren said:
Aw geez. I was gonna buy you Robeez, darn it all to heck.
118. LadyBug said:
The tales (and vivid descriptions) of hot boiling diarrhea are, um, interesting and all; but my favorite word from today's comments is *perambulating*. Say it with me now...perrrrammmmmbuuuulaaaatiiing. There now...isn't that nice?
119. Amanda B. said:
It brings tears to my eyes that "hot boiling diarrhea" means as much to all of you as it does to me. I heart you all...sniff.
120. Sheryl said:
Hot boiling diarrhea brings tears to all our eyes
121. library Nat said:
I like how your small world/sock finder person used a hyphenated 'y' twice to turn nouns into adjectives. Just wanted to mention that.
ps. Where is Amber and her internet Jesus fish? <><? Amber, can we be internet buddies?
122. Lesley said:
re "cautionary tale," I think you might have coined a new stage direction: "stage leta"
123. Fish said:
re: "Hot boiling diarrhea brings tears to all our eyes"
'Tis rare that I visit this late at night, but GOOD GOD, Sheryl, you are f-ing hilarious. By the way, it was English Literature grad school at Fordham, but I majored in philosophy in undergrad.
Tracy: "Screaming Sphincter" will be tomorrow's phrase that I'll try to use in every conversation.
107. Amanda B. said:
Ooh Sheryl- saucy! Touche my witty friend. :)
Fish- don't sell yourself short, you were pretty damn funny today.
108. Sheryl said:
Aye, aye - Fish, your posts are stuffed to the gills... you been schoolin us
btw - Tracy
Screaming Sphincter Garlic Hot Sauce
http://www.firegirl.com/1468-02.html
Screaming Sphincter Chili Recipe
http://recipes.chef2chef.net/recipe-archive/47/253545.shtml
109. Lisa said:
Heather- next time tell the barista,
"Ghost of Christmas future, baby."
110. myla said:
I thought that thumbnail was Leta -- she does look more and more like you every day =) (PS -- loved the cheddar fish story)
111. Caroline said:
Love the Alphalfa look.
Did I spell that right?
112. mrs. george #2 said:
Library Nat, I don't know how to make internet jesus fish, but I can do this: :> and I think that should count for something.
GirlA this is for you:
You be my hero, girl(A).
You be makin' my heart glow
Like some hot boiling diarrhea
Comin' out yo ass.
Blistering sphincters aint got shit
On yo fine ass self.
George gonna be my baby daddy
and dooce be a fly ass mamma
GirlA, she be lovin' that bling
That ice, those rocks
Shining from my grill
Like scaly internet jesus fish.
Blessed Be.
Word.
113. Christine said:
I've had many, many days like that. The worst was when after a day at the beach, I was dragging my two, very defiant toddlers, our sand toys, diaper bag, towels, etc. across the sand to the parking lot. Totally struggling. I saw up ahead a large group of typical Orange County teenagers who were all just watching me approach them like I was some sort of freak. I couldn't avoid walking past them and as I did, I mumbled something like, "enjoy your youth." Of course, they were all silent. I think one girl sort of smiled, but I think it was out of pity. I wanted to scream, "I used to be just like you! It wasn't that long ago! You just wait! Etc. etc. etc."
114. Alex said:
Hey dooce, have you seen this? http://www.jenmagazine.com/modest-clothes/modest-fashion.asp
100. mrs. george #2 said:
Hey, what are "garments" and why would she have to take them off?
101. Beth said:
Just read this article:
http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=BABYBLOG-11-09-04
Do you ACTUALLY get 40,000 hits a day? If you had a hit counter, it'd look like the Griswold's electric meter at Christmas!
102. kim said:
heather, can you please write a book already? how much longer are you gonna make us wait for a WHOLE BOOK of stories just like the "Cautionary Tale"?? and please make sure they ship to germany..
103. danielle gs said:
I love that one of the google ads is for a "Padded Butt Panty".
Panty. Definitely panty. Almost as good as the word ointment. (a friend of mine from college loves the word ointment. I think it is the oinky sound at the beginning that is so appealing)
104. Jenny said:
I am entirely happy that there is a Google Ad up for "Padded Butt Panties". That just made my morning.
105. Sue From Ohio said:
I don't know, maybe it's me but if you're (meaning Google) going to advertise something called a 'Sissy Panty' you would think they would at least provide pictures...GEESH!
*Sarah--We like you. We REALLY like you! hehe
*Master OTO--hmmm, maybe a sitz bath in mayo. Isn't that the Old Wives cure for blisters....mmmm, that makes me think of BLT's. Not the sitz just the mayo....
106. Master of the Obvious said:
So, afters I eats the spicy buffalos wings, and I finds blisters on me ass, you wants me to sitz in the mayo?