All of this came out of my boobs
We were cleaning out the freezer last week and discovered all this breastmilk I had pumped and stored. Sadly, they were all WAY expired, and we had to throw them out, but my God, will you look at all that? MY BOOBS DID THAT.
Also, this picture features the Dooce Effect because I wanted to give the breastmilk its proper heavenly glow.
Watch Heather discuss her feelings about vaccinations on this episode of Momversation.
1. dooce said:
HAHAHAH SUCKERS! I AM THE FIRST COMMENT!
2. Fish said:
Dooce, you're just hyper from all that cocaine that's in the picture.
Oh, wait, That's not Cocaine!
3. Em said:
Eeek! From the Boob of Dooce, enough to feed Utah! Do Mormons DO breastmilk? :)
4. Angie said:
Ewww... I totally don't want to finish my cappuccino now! No offence or anything, I mean, the human body is an incredible thing, blah, blah, blah.
Actually, I bet you could sell that on ebay!!!!
5. Molly said:
Maybe you can use it for some of your holiday baking this year??
6. Colleen said:
wow.. pretty impressive!
I'm having a flashback to when I was serving on a criminal jury for cocaine possesion. When we went to deliberate, the cocaine was all over the table, just like that, for us 12 angry men and women to touch and pass around. I never saw so much cocaine in my life. Ditto for the breast milk pic of today.
7. FrenchBenj said:
Darling, I love you but, as a gay man, all i have to say to that picture is:
Ewww. Ewww. Ewww.
8. Michael said:
Dooce juice.
9. One Bird said:
Ok, I really know that your meds are working because you are so calm about the fact that it is all expired. When I was nursing/pumping, if I had one bag of breastmilk that I had to throw away, I would cry for about 2 hours.
10. Nieuki said:
My god, do they make special breast milk packs, or are those bags from your beloved Ziploc collection?
11. taryn said:
I'm currently breastfeeding and I can definitely appreciate that. Wow!
12. christy said:
Did you already throw it away? Breastmilk in the freezer should keep for about six months! Send it to me! I have been pumping at work, and I think the performance anxiety is depleting my supply. Nothing like sitting at your desk on the computer hooked up to the pump like some freakish graphic designer cow.
13. Fish said:
What, exactly, would you have done with the breastmilk had it not, sadly, been "WAY expired?"
14. nadia said:
ha-ha geez, I'm so not hungry now.
15. come on said:
so, how long does it take for frozen breastmilk to expire anyways? (and is anyone else wondering about what appears to be giant LUMPS in that milk?)
anyways, i'm impressed.
16. christy said:
Nieuki - they do make special breast milk bags. You should see all the breast-feeding accessories you can get - it's mind boggling. My favorite is the goofy bra-band thing designed for hands-free pumping. I swear it's the most unattractive device ever designed for the human body.
17. Chris From Ohio said:
Suckers. Oh, the puns...
18. Fish said:
By the way, dooce, I just read Jon's most recent blurb.
He's a good guy.
19. beautifulmess said:
kind of makes me want to have a baby just so MY boobs can have special powers, too.
20. sheyna said:
omg...they look like little bags of crack!
21. bushra said:
i don't know which was funnier, the fact that you gazumped people about the first comment, or that you called them suckers...
as for the picture, i, i don't know what to say.
22. Chris said:
Not to get off topic about the breast milk, cause, um...wow, that's a lot of breast milk. But, I too read Jon's post and was unable to comment there so here,I'll say that I second what Fish said. Jon IS a good guy.
23. sheyna said:
not that i know what little bags of crack look like.
24. Jenny said:
What is so gross about breastmilk? Or is it specifically breastmilk in bags?
OF FRANCE!!!!
25. angela marie said:
But if you heat them up, can a Morman baby drink them? Is it the same as slipping the unsuspecting child hot tea?!?
Just wonderin'.
26. Human Writes said:
All that milk kind of makes me want a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats.
27. Fish said:
re: what to do with old breastmilk: Hollandaise sauce; biscuits & gravy; clam chowder; spackle; deck footings; brick mortar.
Sorry, my grandparents grew up in the Depression. They never threw anything away.
28. Liz said:
Oh...wow. Don't know what else there is to say to THAT.
29. Sarah said:
Oh! So sad that's all expired! Breastmilk is like gold! All that time you spent pumping, just to have it go to waste. Bummer. I remember pumping, freezing it, and not ever needing it. But I only threw away like two bags... not as many as you!
30. dooce said:
Fish, if they hadn't been WAY expired we would have mixed them vodka and kahlua and enjoyed a bounty of white russians. breast milk is very sweet.
31. Lauren said:
d'yever shoot breastmilk for target practice, just to see how far it could go? No? Just me, eh?
32. LadyBug said:
I'm currently nursing/working/pumping, and I've got about that much breastmilk in MY freezer. When I weaned my oldest daughter (now 7), I ended up throwing away about 28 bags of breastmilk. I could've fed a small third-world country!
Oh, and since no one (that I saw, anyway) has said this yet....
Got milk?
God bless,
LadyBug
33. steven said:
what i find most funny is that they're in whirlpacks, the same whirlpacks my parents (a biologist and a paleoecologist) use for collecting field samples. so. yes. that's the first time i've ever seen something other than fruit fly bait, plant specimens, or bolivian lake mud in one of those bags. and it's kind of creepy.
34. tinygirl said:
you should have tried making yoghurt with that. or cheese. (:
35. Heather said:
DOOCE JUICE had me crackin' up.
Kudos, Dooce, for being the first comment.
I can never seem to get the Dooce Effect just right--it always ends up blurring the details too much.
*sigh* i shall go and practice like a good little minion of Dooce.
:-)
(and i told your husband he's wonderful.)
36. Fish said:
Breastmilk mixer hangovers suck.
37. LadyBug said:
Oh, Lauren! I used to shoot my husband in the face from across the room. Hmm....he never thought it was as funny as I thought it was. And, I'm sure he'd just LOVE the fact that I'm sharing this info here.
38. stella said:
when I read the title of the email before seeing the picture, I thought I'd see a pic of rice and cabbage.
39. JM said:
To a pumping/nursing mom, breastmilk in the freezer is like treasure stashed away. I went back to work when my daughter was 6 months old and literally half of our freezer was frozen breastmilk. I had close to 300 oz. and I was hording it like crazy. "WHAT?? YOU THAWED 6 OZ. BUT ONLY GAVE HER 4?? I'M CALLING MY LAWYER..."
40. Vanessa said:
Wow -- that's a lot of milk. Boobs are marvelous things. That's why men worship us. :)
41. Moxie said:
Does this give new meaning to the term "funbags"?
42. laura said:
FYI from breastfeeding.com:
Breastmillk can be stored in the freezer section of your refrigerator that has a separate door for up to 3 months.
Breastmilk can be stored in an upright or chest freezer at a constant temperature of 0 degrees (Fahrenheit) for 6 to 12 months.
Inquiring minds...
I haven't had the heart to throw out the stuff left in my freezer. All those hard fought ounces...
43. nadia said:
Lady Bug: I'm from a small third-world country and...thanks but no thanks.
44. Fish said:
Nadia, that was funny.
45. laura said:
so your banner was telling the truth then.....
the one that said "my milkshake is better than yours"
:-)
46. LadyBug said:
Nadia: I wasn't offering, 'cause, well...ewwww.
47. Brooke said:
Oh. Oh my.
48. nichole said:
Yesterday a woman got on the city bus with an uncovered styrofoam cup. The driver told her the rules said she had to dump it, but when the passenger told her it was breast milk, she let her keep it - first time I've seen compassion from these drivers. Good for them.
Hey, here's a good (but scary, a bit) book about breast milk and other mother things: Having Faith: an ecologist's journey to motherhood, by Sandra Steingraber.
49. Benoit said:
It looks like they would now what to do with all that milk... IN FRANCE!!!!
http://membres.lycos.fr/petitsingly/
50. sarcastic journalist said:
My boobs are impressed.
51. LT said:
Cantaloupe juice!
52. Bruce said:
boobsicles!!
53. Michele R said:
That's a lot of milk! I never would have thought you could freeze that! Shows what I know about babies huh?
54. The Mighty Jimbo said:
that totally made my nipples hurt.
55. nadia said:
LadyBug: Earlier this week I found a nest of ladybugs outside my office window. Got profressionals to clear them out, though, since they kept flying into my glass of early morning breast milk from Russia. 'tis much better than US breast milk.
56. Michelle said:
I'm very jealous of your breastmilk-making boobies...I could never get my boobs to work.
Turns out they're just decorative.
57. Sara said:
Oh yeah - I threw away two large Old Navy Bags filled with bags of breast milk. I ran out with my first child, so I pumped like crazy with the second and she would.not.take.a.bottle. I thought I had an adopting mom who wanted it, but the adoption never came through. Into the trash it went...
The money wasted on those bags - they aren't cheap!
Breastmilk keeps for a year and, after that, it is still "good" - it just looses some of what makes it so awsome.
The lumps are milk fat. The milk you buy from the store is homogenized - this incorporates the fat into the milk (if you buy whole.) If you bought unhomogenized cow's milk, the fat/cream would rise to the top. If you froze unhomogenized cow's milk, it would look like Heather's human milk.
58. sab said:
dude! how big were your boobs??
59. Anita said:
It reminds me that I need to start rotating out the frozen boob juice and moving in the fresh stuff.
I'm one of those people who saves her Crazy Eights until the last hand of the game. I think I need to start "playing" some of our saved supply before it goes bad.
Dooce juice..heh heh heh.
60. chris said:
Heather, word of warning regarding cheddar cheese goldfish:
Our 15-month old son, two nights ago, wouldn't stop giving us the "more" sign for more goldfish. He ate goldfish for, like, an hour. And then went to bed.
We found him in the morning, laying head-first in a pile of reconstituted goldfish in his crib. Stinky baby, stinky bed, stinky goldfish. Thank heaven for baby lotion...
61. MelissaS said:
Friend's brother visiting from college, peering into the freezer:
"What's with all the pudding in the freezer?"
62. LadyBug said:
Nadia, I'm sure that's true, and in Russia women the breastmilk is conveniently pre-frozen! Russian mothers simply pump the frozen milk directly into baby bottles of vodka and kahlua. (Can you hear the pumping sounds now? Whoosh, clink, whoosh, clink...) Newborns prefer their White Russians 'on the rocks.' I bet the ice-pellets-through-the-nipples thing smarts a bit, though.
63. bb said:
ew ew ew HOLIDAY BAKING!
64. TracyDee said:
I thought it was drugs at first... that it's all breastmilk makes it even more impressive...
65. LadyBug said:
Well, crap. That should be RussiaN women. *Grumble*
66. klou said:
Whatever you do, don't keep questionable breast milk. It's just really gross. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. I could gag just thinking about it.
67. Paige said:
For some reason, the concept of expired breastmilk makes me chuckle.
68. Karrey said:
You and Jon really made cookies and hot chocolate with all of that breastmilk and took it to Temple to feed the Mormons, didn't you?
I knew it!
69. Eric Bostrom said:
ACK! You should see someone about that mashed potato producing boob thing, that could be dangerous!
70. Alex said:
God, I wish I had that much in my freezer. I can't keep up with my little porker. I pump and take it to daycare, he drinks. I can barely keep up. He's 5-months-old and already 22 lbs!
71. Katy said:
Im currently breastfeeding my 4 & 1/2 month old daughter (no, not at this exact minute) and I love to shoot milk across the room. Oh.. the power of the breast! Its a mess to clean up though.
72. Kano said:
Looks like a bunch of condoms from a Mormon Halloween Party after too much Gin.
73. Fish said:
Okay, okay, I'll say it first in response to Kano's comment:
"Sippin on Gin n' Dooce-juice."
God, I hate myself for that, but I just couldn't stop myself. I apologize, internet.
74. jw said:
"they look like little bags of crack!"
To babies, it's better than crack!
75. Katie said:
For the moms who said Ralph (Ralph's World) for president - he would never be allowed to hold office! He had his child out of wedlock, wouldn't marry the mother, then married another girl, started a custody case to get his daughter away from the mother, lost, then abandoned the wife after fooling around on her the whole time while on those tours. He would lose big on the family values front in this person's opinion... catchy tunes or not.
76. Katy said:
I just read Jon's post. Im moping up a tear or two at the moment. Its so nice to see two people (okay, three... and a dog) so in love. Thank you, Jon, for making my day brighter!
77. Christine said:
In reality the breasts are just oversized sweat glands and breast milk is sweat mixed with the mother's blood, etc.
Mmmmm. Frozen bags of sweat... :)
78. cara said:
Really HOT looking sweat glands!
79. Mary said:
I too read DJ-Blurb's post today - What an amazing man you have Heather ......
80. Chris From Ohio said:
Fish,
I love how much play that song gets on this site.
81. Tracy said:
So boobs can actually be projectile milked? I did not know that. You know those carnival booths where you shoot water into the clown mouth...?
Um, never mind.
82. Sarah said:
I don't know why, but I am completely amazed by that picture. Forget about the miracle of a rainbow, breastmilk in large quantities is much more breathtaking.
83. Gretchen C. said:
As a former pumper of breastmilk, I am supremely in awe and insanely jealous of your freezer stash. What a supply!
84. Marti said:
I'm so disappointed; it never occurred to me to try and shoot my milk across the room. Now those days are long gone, and I'll never have the opportunity. I weep.
85. kim said:
i tried the dooce effect once on one of my pics but somehow it turned out very strange and made you sick when you'd look at it for too long. i think it's cause i didn't get some of the instructions right since the menus in photoshop are different in german so i got all confused and.... and mommies' breasts can do amazing things.
86. Anne said:
Dooce, you made me snarf my coffee with that first comment. Awesome. But now my snot will be brown for an hour or so.
87. Heatheranne said:
Ew.
88. Fish said:
The Korean national assembly is petitioning the international olympic committee to strip Dooce of the "first post" title, because she kinda had an unfair advantage.
89. amarch said:
Is it just me, or does it look like a cigarette hiding beneath the bags in the top right portion of the photo? I'm guessing it's not, but I could totally see some bizarre artist photographing frozen breast milk and cigarettes and calling it art.
90. girlpunch said:
You could probably sell those on Ebay.
91. alaina said:
that's incredibly gross.
you are so awesome.
92. Lactivist said:
Aw, I'm sorry you have to toss it all, Heather! Kudos to you for nursing Leta though - you gave her the best and have helped to protect her from all sorts of diseases, viruses and allergies.
And to Christine -- Breasts intended purpose is to nourish a child, not to produce sweat. I don't know about you but I don't have any other sweat glands on my body that are sporting nipples.
I find it sad that so many people are grossed out by the thought of human breastmilk (yet they're probably don't think twice about that glass of cow's milk they just guzzled). It's FOOD, people.
93. Chris said:
Wow
94. Melanie S said:
I have to do this because, well, because it's too funny.
"My Babb Daddy"
by B Rock and the Bizz
(you can get the single online for under $2. Ha!)
LYRICS
1- Who that is?
That's just my baby daddy
Who that is?
That's just my baby dad
Who that is?
That's just my baby daddy
Who that is?
That's just my baby dad
Who that is?
That's just my baby dad
Who that is?
That's just my baby dad
Who that is?
That's just my baby daddy
Who that is?
T-Bird, that's just my baby daddy
Why everytime I call it's the same thing?
You have to be on the phone with Elaine
Or either Shawna, or Dawna
(T-Bird it ain't like that, it's far off my mind)
When the phone click don't even try girl
Quit lying girl
You must think I'm stupid or either blind girl
Cuz something ain't right
And I'm fixing to go
You said y'all broke up a long time ago
And who was L.A. Sno?
(But it ain't nobody, that's just my baby daddy)
Repeat 1
You said your baby daddy was locked up, but why?
The Bird say y'all was at the mall
(You a liar)
You a liar
OK, then what his name?
(Lavall)
Yesterday you said his name was Jay, so it ain't the same
It must be your new boyfriend
How come your bestfriend told me the dude's name was Ken?
(Whatever)
You better get it together, cuz whenever you lie?
I'm like Mary J., I'm not gon' cry
(Don't cry)
Hey, why don't you get up and get the door?
(You get the door)
Yo, who that is?
(I don't know, who is it?)
I bet that's just your baby daddy
Repeat 1
What's up man?
You be ready to go?
(What we do now?)
You know we gotta go to the store
Now see, that's a perfect example
You know you ain't fittin' ta' go and get no pampers
Well, while ya at it, get some milk
If ya don't hurry back
I'mma been done dipped
Oh baby, you can save the drama
Cuz I'm feeling going to see my baby, momma
Repeat 1
I'm sick and tired, girl
You 'bout to get fired, girl
Don't even try, girl
But I ain't all really polite, girl
I'm sick and tired, girl
You 'bout to get fired, girl
Shut up and keep quiet, girl
I'm sick & tired of all your lying, girl
T-Bird, I need some money for my baby
I ain't giving you no money, that ain't my baby
(Yes T-Bird, it was)
That ain't my kid
(Yes it is your daughter)
I got one son
(You got a daughter, too)
I got a son named Chris and that's it
(T-bird, you trippin')
I ain't smell that junk you talk
(T-Bird!)
Forget that!
(But T-Bird, I love you)
I ain't wit it, I ain't wit it
Repeat 1
My man Agee say Hell! Ain't your baby daddy
L.A. Sno! Ain't your baby daddy
My man its pressure, ain't your baby daddy
Uh J.D., he ain't yo baby daddy
That's just my baby daddy
Repeat 1
95. SuMMer said:
I'm with girlpunch...you could so totally sell those on Ebay, and probably get a scary amount of money for them. But I can't guarantee that some of those wackjobs would be using it to feed a baby..I'm an ebay addict, and I've come across some strange bidders in my day...
Being that I haven't had children yey, this pic made my mammary glands ache with longing....or something like that.
96. Caroline said:
Oh. My. God. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Those comments about shooting milk across the room made my day (especially the one who shot her husband in the eye). And Dooce, your boob juice makes me crave creme filled doughnuts. The thought grosses me out at the same time, but -- creme filled doughnuts. I'll try really hard not to think of that picture while I eat them. You may have ruined creme filled doughnuts for me forever. And the lady who said what the lumps were - that was a bit of an overshare. Oh, and if Russian boobs shoot ice, I bet French boobs shoot wine. Drunk babies everywhere. IN FRANCE!!!!! Man I wish I were a French baby right now...
I'm really tired by the way, if you were wondering why my post was so weird and rambly.
97. Amy said:
Ha ha! It looks like Capri Sun for babies.
98. Chloe said:
Come on people? Did you look at the link for breast milk CHEESE? Sure, it was in french, but you could get the gist of it. Gah! Now I have one reason to have a baby: shooting breastmilk across the room. The breast as a weapon: truly awe-inspiring.
You could probably sell those on ebay. But you probably shouldn't. The logistics of shipping-- you'd have to fast ship in one of those cold boxes... and why would someone buy someone else's expired breast milk? Ewww.
Darn it! I wanted to be first! * grin *
99. Tracy said:
Perhaps the milk surplus may be awarded as a prize to anyone who can correctly say Gin-n-Dooce-juice five times fast.
100. Christine said:
Lactivist: *DUH!*
I know what the purposes of the breasts are. Mammary glands did, however, evolve from sweat glands. No need to get your tits in a sling over my comment. ;)
101. Bruce said:
Chloe, you ask "why would someone buy someone else's expired breast milk?".... this is not "SOMEONE"'s! THIS IS DOOCE's!!
102. faith said:
I'm impressed. Could have used some of that a while back...happily now THE BOY is into depleting cows of all their energy and vital strength.
103. Leon said:
Perhaps this has already been covered?
....he said, too lazy to check previous comments
"Dooce Juice" - sicles
....all you need is a stick
or
"Dooce Juice" - fine cheese
....now served at all fine eating establishments
I gotta think that the E-Bay profits alone on these bad boys would easily put your little frog through college. Maybe even grad school
104. cb said:
use for eggnog latte.
105. Ed said:
Oh my !!! ... what a boobs huhhh !
106. rebecca said:
Hey- did you see that the Nikon D70 is Popular Photography's camera of the year? Thought you might be interested... http://www.popphoto.com/article.asp?section_id=2&article_id=1156&page_nu...
107. Lactivist said:
Christine,
OHHHH, you meant that breasts EVOLVED from sweat glands, and that they aren't just oversized sweat glands? OH. Aw, who am I trying to kid? I'm still confused.
I don't know nearly as much about sweat as I do breastfeeding. Is sweat really made from our blood too?
My tits are goin' commando today, thankyouverymuch.
BTW, I checked out your website - You're welcome! ;)
108. Laurie said:
I don't know what's worse, that I went to ebay and looked up "breast milk" or my slight disappointment that there wasn't any...
I'm going for the latter. :)
109. nichole said:
THAT IS SO....SICK!!!!!!!
110. Laurie said:
Some utahian has beaten you to it. :)
UTAH
Woman tries to sell her breast milk
SALT LAKE CITY — A 23-year-old woman who tried to sell her extra breast milk through a classified ad says she became the butt of jokes.
The woman, who did not want to be identified because of the potential for more jabs, says she was just trying to help women who have difficulty breast-feeding. Since having her baby two months ago, she has been producing too much milk, so she placed an ad in the Salt Lake Tribune.
Following doctors' recommendations for pumping and proper storage, she managed to save 400 ounces of breast milk. The ad offered the frozen milk for sale at $1 an ounce or $350 for all of it.
Instead, she received prank phone calls. One of the callers was a man asking if it came in a chocolate flavor.
111. Sue from Ohio said:
OH MY GOD THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY MOM-IN-LAWS COMPUTER...I CAN'T SEE THE PICTURE!
I'M BLIND, I'M BLIND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I'M BLIND!!!! WAHHHHHH
But from what I gather, I probably am not sure I want to see anyone... uh-oh, someone's coming, I told them I was going to the bathroom...gotta go
112. julie said:
Oh my gosh - we have those same bags at work (pharmaceutical research & development)! Now I will know what to do when it's my turn to be a milk-factory.
113. Kathy said:
GO DOG, Go! My fav book as a little girl!
114. Sheryl said:
Among other things I am amazed by re: this picture and comments -
I am in awe and covetousness of the implied bodaciousness of your....
freezer!
I couldn't fit that many bags of DooceJuice or crack in my freezer, much less fit so much more stuff that I could forget I had that much crack in there!
If I was to pack that many bags of crack in my freezer, there wouldn't be any room for the Stoly, Ouzo, and the Bombay Sapphire
115. Amanda B. said:
Wow. I'm totally floored by Jon's entry today. How fucking unbelievably awesome and brave is it for him to open up like that. Rock on husbando.
I think the most awsome thing about marriage is knowing that your spouse knows you- good, bad, and smelly- and loves you for it all.
That being said, if my husband puts the silverware in the cabinet with the dishes instead of in the silverware drawer one more time, we're gonna wrestle in the yard.
116. Trish said:
Wow. My boobs are jealous. I could never pump that much, so I walked around with a baby attached to me at all times.
:)
117. jay said:
Okay, I'll admit I've been very curious about your breasts. And I'll admit that I would love to see a photo. I realize that you are a private person and probably don't want to post such a photo.
However, is this the best compromise?
118. Fish said:
Sheryl: You can easily store that much if you have a *chest* freezer.
Oh jeez. that sucked. Sorry.
Anyway, mrs. fish and I learned in our childbirth classes that breasmilk is to be stored for 6 months in a regular freezer, but can be stored a year in chest freezers, which maintain a substantially lower temperature.
Fish: witty and informative.
P.S.: Amanda B: you keep doin' that yard wrastlin', and you won't need no more fertility dancin'.
119. mihow said:
Breast-milk Caucasians. What a treat. You could be the new Dude. Same syllables. Next time you're at Target pick up a terry-cloth robe.
120. Kim said:
I had to throw out several hundred ounces of breastmilk because my son would never take breastmilk from anyone but me!!
As for the Go Dog Go book? We have the copy that my hubby (who has just now grown his winter beard and I'll be jumping him soon for that!!) ... that my hubby had when he was a child. He is 46. So yes, this book is a bit beat up but our son LOVES it. My Sis in law says that she remembers thinking as a child (around 3?) how incredibly cool it would be to party in a tree with dogs (she is a big dog lover) and that this must just be the "biggest, best, tree ever." How cool is that to remember a book your mom read to you?
Keep up the good work Dooce. In 40 years little Leta will be saying "and my mom talked about that party tree with passion in her eyes."
121. Jazzy said:
I can always count on you for a good laugh. Thanks for helping with my therapy.
On the breast milk, just eww.
122. Amy said:
Heh - Snoop sings Dr. Seuss:
~oOo~ Ain't no party like a tree dog party, cuz a tree dog party don't stop! ~oOo~
123. Regan said:
Boobie Dooced Milk.
that's just disturbing.
yet I can't look away....
124. Becca said:
It's too bad they expired. You could so totally feed kids in third world counties. The power of the dooce.
125. Russ said:
That pic just sent my mind in so many directions, on so many levels..haha. First thought was "ew, ew, ew". Then I started thinking "dairy". Next thing you know I was thinking about cheese, then I wondered if there was such thing as breast milk cheese. Then, if you think about it, all cheese is breast milk cheese..Anyway, after some research <>, apparently you would need 10lbs of breast milk to make 1 lb of cheese. I have some friends that make their own wine, but I guess if a friend of mine told me they made their own cheese I would have to get them to clarify now before I tried it.
Be wary of a woman that makes her own cheese. Be even more weary of a man that makes his own cheese. Though, it is possible, I recently saw a special on pbs about man boobs. fascinating, yet disturbing.
126. robin said:
Hahahahaha...dooce juice....that was great.
127. Amanda B. said:
Russ- holy hell, i think you made me pee myself a little bit.
Fish- Snoop Dog reference +10 on awesome scale.
"Be wary of a woman that makes her own cheese"
128. tina said:
Go Dog Go was mine and my brother's favorite book when we were kids. Good memories...
129. dutchshoes said:
Go Dog Go was my absolute favorite book from childhood. I think that today I will dig it out and read it again.
130. Colleen said:
Regarding "Go, Dog. Go!":
Have you read "I'll Teach My Dog One Hundred Words"? I highly recommend it. That "mop the moose" illustration gets me every time.
131. Alison said:
Breast milk, for me is strange and interesting. And I just spent a lot of time reading the comments to find out that the lumps=fat. See! Interesting.
Also interesting: people come here to comment on main page posts (which I've thought of doing, but never have). Why not just reinstate main page comments?
132. Amanda B. said:
The Giving Tree. Shel Silverstein.
*blubber*
133. mprints said:
there is a version of Go Dog Go on tape that rocks. (Do you like me hat?) you must get it!
134. AndreaBT said:
I'm just cracking up at all the people who think breast milk is gross. What *is* that? I mean, I do drink cow's milk, but when you think about it...shouldn't cow's milk be just a teensy bit grosser than breast milk? :)
135. Stacy said:
I don't have children, or I obviously wouldn't ask this question- How long did it take you to do that? And, is it normal for parents (including the father) to take a taste, just out of curiousity? I'm not talking bout latchin on for a feedin' or anything, just a taste. I know I would. It's too weird not to try.
136. anna said:
AndreaBT: absolutely! I mean, here we are dunking oreos into the mammary secretions of some giant, smelly beast, and we think breast milk is weird?
I wonder who figured out that cows' milk was edible for humans. That must have been a hard sell to their neighbors: "No, really! I know it seems weird, but it's good. Try it with a cookie."
137. Russ said:
"BREAST MILK IS PEOPLE!!!"
138. Jena said:
The things you can do with breastmilk:
1. feed to baby
2. drink in desperate moments
3. slip in in-laws' coffee
4. slip in anyone's coffee
5. feed to dog in desperate moments
6. use as bait
7. christmas ornaments
8. christmas presents
9. stocking stuffers!!
10. umm... sandbags on hot air balloon??
139. Sarah said:
Holy Crap!!! GO DOG GO! was totally my favorite book when I was little. I made my mom read it to me over and over again. It's nice to see real fine literature recognized for once!! Hope little Leta loves it as much as I did!
140. Cap'n said:
yesterday I learned that breast-feeding can be so painful, you will see stars. and that you need to teach the mouth how to approach the nipple, like an airplane coming into the hanger. and that my boss (who is a new mother) was recently "milked" by her "lactation specialist'.
poor, poor boobies.
141. Carla Beth said:
Dooce, I am both awed and grossed out. If I were to wake up some night and find my boobs in the kitchen making Boob Stuff, I'd send them out back to plow the fields and repent their sins.
142. Sheryl said:
See this page on Alternate Uses for Breast Milk
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2330/index.html
BreastMilk Does Every Body Good
Ross: " I just don't think breast milk is for adults..."
Chandler: "of course the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike."
(Most disturbing part, IMO):
"Sexual lubricant (male and female): (males) squirt directly onto penis; (females) hand express breast milk into a sterile cup...use as you would use KY Jelly, vaseline, or AstroGlide. "
143. christilee said:
In a way that really grossed me out, but then... I just don't know. I am not grossed out anymore. What would you have done with it if it had not been "all WAY expired"?
144. Fish said:
ASTROGLIDE! I think I just split a seam.
The party always livens up with the mention of Astroglide. This comment page is cool.
145. Fish said:
Christilee: Dooce has already answered your question. She just can't repeat it, because she's probably drunk on all the white russians.
146. Heather said:
Man, how big is your freezer that all that breastmilk went unnoticed?!
147. Carol said:
I pumped 50 ounces (!!) a day with my first son. Ugh. But I lost about 55 pounds in 3 months. (He was a huge baby - 11.2 and I'm only 5'4")
Anyway, it's hard to throw it out. It is like liquid gold, but once you get over it... well, I'm glad I'm not breastfeeding anymore.
But if it was still good, you could also donate it to homeless shelters.
Stacy- I have tasted my friend's. It tasted just like soy milk. It's weird, but I always thought my husband would want to taste it and I'd want him to, but when you get there, it's sort of hands off. They become something other than boobs. They have work to do, so don't be wastin my baby's milk! Plus you don't feel up to entertaining anyone else other than your baby.
As for Go, Dog! Go!... love the book. So do my sons and I also loved that they all end up partying in a tree. I love reading my kids books. The way they see things. Simple.
148. Laura said:
Go, Dog! Go! is the absolute best Dr. Seuss ever. Ever.
149. Carol said:
Katie - sorry to hear about Ralph! You must know him personally. Well, I still like his CDs. He comes across as such a family man!
As for not showering for 5 days. I haven't gone that far, but right now I'm working on 2.
150. stuboo said:
Go Dog Go! was my very favorite Dr. Seuss book when I was a kid. I still have visions of sitting beside the dog in that race car with my ears flapping in the wind just like his.
By the way. Good job on all that heavenly goodness that came from your boobs. That's impressive. Go Boobs Go!
151. Karen Rani said:
I'm a nursing Mom and to everyone that thinks that is "ewwww," grow up! Kudos to ya Dooce for being such a good Mom, ON SO MANY LEVELS! :)
Love ya!
Karen
152. Dee said:
I am envious. I struggled with pumping from my little one's NICU days until his 9th month. He would refuse to nurse since day one. He would nurse, I would pump, nurse, pump, nurse pump ... but I never even pumped enough to build a freezer stash.
I would cry when I couldn't pump anymore than a couple of ounzes and when I had nothing in the freezer I was completely torn. I never understood why I couldn't build a supply like all the other mom's I spoke with.
Oh well. My next one will be an adoption (I hope it can happen soon) so I will never get the chance again. I cry just thinking about it.
Dee
153. eco2geek said:
That reminds me of a recent post on BoingBoing about Boo Bee Juice.
http://www.unibev.co.uk/1210/8456.html
That also reminds me of the time I relieved a (beautiful) girl at work so she could go pump her breast milk. After the initial Typical Guy Reaction (a combination of "Eww!", "Ouch!", "WTF?" and "Can I watch?"), my mind reeled at the possibilities:
1. Have you ever tasted it?
2. Have you ever served it to your dinner guests, unbeknownst to them? ("That coffee creamer is my breast milk, Phil.")
3. Have you ever used it in cooking or baking?
4. Have you ever made butter out of it?
5. Have you ever made chocolate milk or hot chocolate out of it?
154. Erica said:
I'm not entirely certain that this is true, but someone once told me that your homeowner's insurance would reimburse you for pumped milk -- it was some insane amount of money, too -- like 2.50 an ounce. Liquid gold, indeed.
155. mama said:
We LOVE "Go Dog Go"--and we always end the book singing "dog party, dog party. . . "
156. Julia said:
My sister froze breast milk in plastic bags inside plastic glasses, so that it looked kind of like a fancy candle or something. I was way amused.
I actually dreamed that I breastfed someone else's kid last night. Just spontaneous lactation. 'Twas creepy. I was trying to figure out if I should tell the parents.
157. anal editor said:
"Go Dog Go" isn't by Dr. Seuss -- it's by P. D. Eastman. Although the publishers try to fool you by putting a little picture of the Cat in the Hat on the spine.
Do you like my hat? I do not. Good bye! Good bye!
Now _that's_ dialogue. Go, Dooce, go!
158. daisy said:
Okay, true confession time now that Dooce has put her boob juice out there for the world to see.
I have lactated EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY since I was 16. It's been 22 years. Doctors don't know why...I've been tested for everything. It used to be worse in college, therefore the nickname "Daisy" (thank you, roomies!) Try keeping something like that a secret from your date until you know you can trust them!
Now I can wear a bra without it getting soaked, but...geez! I have to hold nursing babies facing away from me or it's "Whoa! Sorry kid." Never been preg. Kind of scared at what would happen should I become preg. I could flood a room! A horrible way to drown.
Dooce, you're a very good mom to pump all of that. Men will never know what it is like...to feel like you are a walking 24-hour diner.
159. Human Writes said:
I once went nine days without shaving between my eyebrows and I developed the most awesome unibrow in recorded history. I looked like a friggin' Sasquatch.
160. Super Turtle Girl said:
Mmmm! Breast milk. What?!? You threw it away???? What a waste! What a tragic waste!
161. moose said:
I hated pumping. My baby WOULD NOT drink from a bottle, so I'd pump (torture, in my book), painstakingly extracting just a little for "just in case" while I was gone -- but she'd never even drink it and I'd arrive to pick up a screamingly frantic-to-nurse child. She knew what she liked, I guess, what was worth waiting for. Thank god I only worked part time.
Shooting across the room, however, was effortless. Now, why was that different? Definitely was not a supply issue.
I gather Jon didn't really want comments, so I don't want to overstep. I'll just say I really appreciated his post.
162. lexa said:
How about keep them as ice packs? I would find it amusing to tell my husband after twisted ankle or what have you - to keep the breast milk on there until the swelling goes down.
Marvin K. Mooney also had to GO NOW. Another good Seuss book.
163. Carol said:
Daisy - OMG! I feel for you. I didn't breastfeed for that long (6 months), but I had so much milk, it was odd. Leaking was such an issue.
Although, I'm not complaining.
BTW, a guy friend of mine fooled around with a girl that was lactating for no apparent reason. And he liked it!!
164. pismire said:
You could always them as ice packs. Imagine it, little Leta bumps her head and out comes some frozen breast milk. Reduce reuse recycle!
165. Parmenides said:
Hey Dooce- It is reported that Britney Spears is pregnant- can you imagine her breasts full of milk- they will be gigantic!
166. kate said:
(this may have already been addressed; I haven't read to the end of comments yet, but)Nichole: why would a lady be carrying an uncovered styrofoam cup of breast milk on the bus? Won't (as my friend Ralph used to say of any uncovered beverage) "dirt-ants" get in there? Did she just kind of squirt it in there on the fly, using whatever receptacle was handy?
I've thought about this for several minutes but I've got goose egg. I'm just saying.
167. pismire said:
Um, yeah, you could always USE them as ice packs (poor grammar day).
BTW - lexa, great minds think alike!
168. come on said:
i would just like to point out and openly mock becca's typo: "third world COUNTIES". where are these counties? louisiana? new mexico?
chortle chortle.
169. IHateToast said:
I wonder if one could churn butter out of lait des boobes. Or even make cheese. If you eat asparagus, does it stain that, too? What if you drink water with food coloring? Like when you split the carnation stem and put one in the glass of red water and the other in the blue water?
I've taken to dying everything as I feel I'm 36 and only have so many years left. I make my own bread and ice cream and butter... but not without sticking some green or blue or pink in there. I make heavily grained bread, so when I food dye it pink, it looks like it has some bad acne, but I see it as a challenge. Can I eat acne bread? Yes!!!
What did you do with the pumps? I see them at garage sales a lot. I just think some things don't need to be placed out next to the old tires. You can't help but think there's someone nip skin cells there and they aren't yours! I file it under "what were you thinking" along with the inflatable sex doll I saw at a viennese flea market and the negligé i saw at a garage sale in Brisbane. .... with yellowed crotch snaps.
So, what is the appropriate way to get rid of a breast pump without adding more plastic to our landfills? eBay? White elephant gift party?
170. Human Writes said:
I believe Starbucks is advertising Breastmilk Lattes for the holidays.
171. the reproving aunt said:
IHateToast: if the pump couldn't be sterilized thoroughly, it wouldn't be safe to use for breast milk. Get over it.
Yellowed crotch snaps? Yuck. Agreed. No question.
172. kate said:
Also, did you guys know that you can stimulate lactation in a woman who has not given birth? It evidently takes a while, but all you have to do is, um, apply suction. Imagine the fun of squirting your husband from across the room when he doesn't even know you're loaded.
http://breast-feeding.adoption.com/stimulating.php (and elsewhere)
173. KellyH said:
Dooce, if you read "a dog party!" in a really excited manner and shake the book at the same time or hold up your hands when you say it, in a few months Leta will do it too. My 2 year old still does it and claps and says "yea!"
174. cathy said:
My mom (a nurse) said hispanic ladies in the 50s at the hospital where she worked would rub breast milk on their stomachs to repair stretch marks. She said they had great skin. (I wish she had told me that way back when I was actually breastfeeding and had stretchmarks!)
There was a craft show I was at last winter where a woman was selling soap made from breastmilk. I could see, if she'd make that for her own use, but it freaked me out that she was selling it!
175. Chris From Ohio said:
Somebody said "Gigantic." Fish keeps mentioning the Pixies. Now that we're all on the same page...
They're gigaaantic. They're gigaaantic. They're gigaaantic. Some big, big boobs.
176. Beth said:
Shock and awe. Total shock and awe. You must have a huge freezer!! :)
177. christy said:
Breastmilk can be safely stored frozen for up to 12months. Your milk wasn't expired and don't pass on the wrong info since you potentially infuence some that may not know any better. But, yes, your boobs created liquid gold with magical healing properties.
178. Sue from Ohio said:
WOW! that's a HUGE amount of breast milk...can't you use it for bathing or something...there are lots of neat ideas on this thread, especially EBAY. EBAY ROCKS!
just so you know...I am home, I can see the pics, and I am one sad, strange little woman who is sooo addicted to the internet and Dooce (of course) I had to lie to my family to sneak away to use a computer...WEEEEEEE I need a laptop!
179. dooce said:
christy. i am not passing along the wrong info. breatsmilk can only be stored for three months in the type of freezer we had. it was expired. end of story.
180. GRAYGIRL said:
MY BOOBS HURT....and I am way past childbearing. They ache with memories (mammaries???!!!)
181. MetroDad said:
Does anyone know if you drink a ton of Hershey's syrup, would there be any possible way you could produce chocolate-flavored breast milk? Just curious whether anyone's tried it.
182. zchamu said:
That is amazing. Too bad it expired. You could have saved it for Leta's sixteenth birthday and given it to her as a special birthday drink. Imagine how freaked out her shit would be. Hee!
183. sour milk said:
Expiration Date? ---
http://www.city.toronto.on.ca/health/breastfeeding/storing_b_m.htm
184. Fish said:
Dooce: would that be your new stainless steel freezer? If so, then who the fuck cares how long you can freeze breastmilk in it, because, like, STAINLESS STEEEEEEL.
Beth: I believe that "Shock" and "Awe" were Jon's nicknames for Dooce's ... chest freezer while she was breastfeeding.
Dooce: sorry, couldn't resist.
185. juli said:
Now that you've seen all the ebay comments, I bet every time you go to throw something out, your hand will hover over the trash can for just that extra second or two as your mind processes the possibilities...
186. Dawn said:
Heahter - while i am in full agreement with djblurb not offering comment facilities on today's post - I feel compelled to share that we get the love we allow and in so doing, that we deserve. From what you have all shared with us, you all sound deserving of what appears to be the bliss with which you are blessed. From expired breast milk to the greener grass on the other side of photoshop, I hope all your discoveries serve you as well as it does me. Please thank djblurb for sharing what he did today!
187. Sheryl said:
If I went 5 days without showering, I would be fired from my job and my boyfriend would have the locks changed.
I take a spin class mornings 6 days a week, and power yoga at lunch M-F. I am a "sweater" and not just out of my boobs either.
Yo funck do tell smell REAL pritty to yo baby and baby daddy!
188. Fish said:
Five days without showering, huh? Leta should be walking, no, RUNNING, any day now.
189. Dara said:
Gee, I can hardly wait till MY boobs can do that...!
190. Jazzy said:
I can only go about 2 days as my hair is really too short for a ponytail and my husband starts calling me Crisco(TM) head and he's right.
191. LisaC said:
My favorite thing to do when I read "Go Dog Go!" to my daughter is to read the last conversation between the "do you like my hat?" dogs (after the Dog Party) slurring my words as if they were very, very drunk. My daughter is 2 1/2, and, just like KellyH's daughter shakes the book, mine parrots, "H'lo 'gain. Annow d'you like my hhhhat?"
192. Peter Hentges said:
I have discoverd that my body goes through some interesting transformations when I stop showering regularly for any reason. The first couple of days, I'll get a little itchy and will notice the odor. By the third day, the pimples are out in full force. In places men were not meant to have pimples. By the fifth day, however, the pimples have disappeared. I can only assume that the layers of dirt and dead flesh have sealed things off from invading bacteria. After a week, typically encountered on long camping trips, they tangy BO smell fades to be replaced with a more "earthy" smell (though that may be dependent upon environment).
193. aic said:
Don't know about the chocolate milk. But I did try it with beets. Alas, no pink milk.
Sometimes, when there is a lull in conversation among my sisters and I, someone will ask "Do you like my hat?" And one or the other of us is always there, right on cue, with the response. That dialogue from Go Dogs Go is like the OF FRANCE!!!! of my childhood.
194. IHateToast said:
yeah... sterilization.... there's a myth. had too many microbiology classes to believe that can be done without an autoclave. best not to know.
i'm not opposed to extending the life of the pump. i have friends who use friends pumps and even swap kids as a bonding experience. i'm not pump phobic. but i also know they never kept it in a box on the garage floor. if you lived in the subtropics, you would understand what lurks there.
hell, reduce RE-USE recycle.... those little pumps vibrate so much, that they could possibly be of use for other personal needs.
195. IHateToast said:
for all the memories of childhood media, is anyone here a graduate of free to be you and me?
196. sjc said:
Were you planning on hibernating with all that?
197. Meggiemoon said:
My mom recently confessed (by recently I mean about 3 months ago!) that from the age of 6 up until I was 8 years old, she would top off my daily bowl of Kix cereal with whatever milk she had over-pumped for my sister, whom she was breastfeeding. "I didn't want it to go to waste!" was her reasoning. She'd sneak it in my bowl when I wasn't looking.
198. carissa said:
i LOVE these books. my son truly believes cardboard is one of the food groups and he hasn't managed to get one of these books down yet. our personal favorite: "mr brown can moo, can you?"
---carissa
199. tiffany said:
Just wait till your kid can talk. My toddler and I were working on making a pizza together and I heard him mutter "Two dogs at WORK."
I was all: Speak for yourself, kid. Don't be callin no mama no damned dog!
(yes, I really talk that way to my kid. And then I throw away perfectly good breastmilk for the FUN OF IT. Take that, internet!)
My husband and I also critique each other's imaginary hats, and Nicolaus thinks it's hilarious. Nothing like having inside jokes with a baby. :-)
200. Melanie S said:
I used to read that book to my son all the time. I loved reading to him.
There is also a book to read to your tummy/baby when you're pregnant. It's called "Oh the places you'll go. A book to read in utero". It's really sweet.
201. Kim said:
Back to the Go Dog Go book. The copy I have was printed way back in the late 50s I guess since it was my hubby's book. Anyways, it bugs the heck out of me that instead of "Goodbye, Goodbye" as was posted above, mine says "Good by, Good by" and I think, "did we change the spelling of this word or is this a major typo??"
Do the new books have the spelling "Goodbye" or "Good by"?
202. Gia on Guam said:
Amy: "Ain’t no party like a tree dog party, cuz a tree dog party don’t stop!" Hahahahaa
Sadly I don't know this book. But I do know The Giving Tree. I've managed to make both my ex bf and father cry while reading it to them!
Meggiemoon: I had to chuckle at your post! How did you feel after your mom revealed that to you?
Although I have yet to have children, I have always wondered about breastfeeding. Liquid Gold indeed. Being Asian, and D cupped, I'm a little afraid of what's gonna happen up front when the time comes.
203. Mish said:
that picture of leta w/ her boyfriend is one of the cutest ever. EVER.
204. robyn. said:
come on: louisiana doesn't have counties. parishes only. ;D
<3 to dooce.
205. Dee said:
Meggiemoon - My DD was 5 when DS was born - since he was a preemie we had to feed him a certain amount every three ours - when he refused to nurse we would have to top the rest off from pumped milk. Anything that was left over, even if it was half an ounze, my DD would drink. She knew what it was though, I didn't have to sneak it in.
206. Kristina said:
Now I'm worried my mom slipped my brothers' breast milk into my cereal!
207. Toni said:
Christy,
That is one of the craziest things I've ever heard of. Are you serious? If you are:WOW. If you we born a couple hundred years ago in Europe you would be considered a saint, I bet. Saint Dasiy Lactans. There would be little vials of your milk stored all over the countryside in dim corners of churches.
208. Toni said:
Oops, I meant for that to be addressed to Daisy.
209. Anca said:
JOB DESCRIPTION
POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will
include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero
to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have
ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and
mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always
hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability! for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will
help them become financially independent.. When you die, you give them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, ! no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you
play your cards right.
PS. Sorry for the long and not original post; I have been reading you for a while and I'm now addicted. I thought you would enjoy this. (the post, not my addiction)
------------------------
Love,
Anca (mother of an 18 year old daughter, exactly like Leta at that age)
PS2. It does gets better. The screaming stops at some point and is soon replaced by strong oppinions that are always contrary to yours. And then you miss the screaming :-)
210. daisy said:
omg, a SAINT??! My Catholic mom would be totally excited...and suspicious. She's seen how "un-saintlike" I can be.
Though Joan of Arc did kick a little ass in her day.
And, yes, it is true. And no, I did not put my real email in the blank. You can imagine why.
(p.s. I grew up with Free To Be, You And Me! And I even saw the MUSICAL here in Chicago! My dog IS a plumber and I would never dress my cat in an apron.)
(p.s.s. They still sell this CD on Amazon. If you have not heard it, I would strongly recommend it to anyone who wants a kid's record that was designed to SHOCK the pants off of all the uptight parents in the neighborhood. Very , very cool!)
211. andy said:
Call me a man of vision, but you thaw those out and you've got some really great balloons to throw. Considering Utah, shouldn't be hard to find someone you'd like to hit.
212. Littlehoney said:
You've finally done it! You've taken a picture that didn't inspire 125 people to write "excellent - I love how it is from the iambic pentameter..", etc.
and like some of the others, I say, "no offense, but ewwwww"
213. Jana said:
Go Dog GO!!! That's one of my favorites.
A couple of other really good ones:
Big Pumpkin
Olivia (oh man she rocks)
Old Hat, New Hat
And those Sandra Boynton hard books, especially Blue hat Green hat and Opposites.
I cherish reading all those books to my girls. Now I have to endure "Captain Underpants" at bedtime. (okay, I admit, I rather enjoy his adventures)
214. christyscherrer said:
Hey! As I like to reassure my mariage partner, we are one the same team! I *love* you! Don't take my rant as a critisism. I'm not trying to start an arguement. So, let's go back to being lovers!
Again, I love your intent. Thanks for being the voice.
Hey, wanna bring Leta to my house? You'll be well accommedated, without insanity (since I know what that entials too). You're the leader.
215. janet said:
Not to change the subject but did anyone notice Jon's post today. No place to leave a comment for him on his site so I'll leave it here. Incredible! If you stand close to other men does your goodness rub off?
216. amanda said:
Another really great book is called George Washington's Cows by David Small. How can you resist a book meant for 4 year olds that uses the word obsequious?
217. me said:
Speaking of squirting breast milk across the room.. Was once at a play put on by the local theater company about Motherhood. Within the first 5 min of the play one of the mothers whipped out a boob and squirted into the audience to make a point. Man did she have DISTANCE! Not so impressive to the older couple sitting in front of us. They got up and left.
218. Janis said:
Impressive!
I am nursing twins and still have quite a bit of milk in the freezer. I swear to god I could nurse a small third world country and still pump 40 oz a day.
Miss Leta is simply adorable! If she'd ever like a playdate with equally adorable twins- I'm just across town.
219. kath said:
Well, not to take anything away from that awesome display of Dooce Dairy (I never could pump enough to bother freezing, myself), but I want to see a photo of the winter beard!! The man looks incredibly good in a beard. Share.
220. maricar said:
Dude, I noticed that there are over 200 comments here. Maybe 'cause you said boobs? No I think it's because of the cool glowing effect you did to the picture. I admire what your boobs have done. My boobs are huge and can't produce that much gold.
221. Danika said:
Ahhhh a picture of all your expired Dooce-juice... its just another reason I love you and this site.
222. DeAnn said:
I cannot believe that you created all of that milk. And I also can't believe you race your own dear sweet readers to post a comment on your own photo! Sheesh!
223. nadia said:
NO! there it is again: Janis.
..the connection between nursing, breast milk and SMALL third world countries.
Am I totally missing something here?
224. jackie said:
that picture is realy disgusting. i can't believe i drank that shit. last week. egh.
however i'm really happy to see i'm not the only one who can go 4-5 days without a shower! a few hours before i read yr post i had mentioend to G that i needed to hop in after he was done and he looked at me suspiciously... observing the ponytail... the thick sweatshirt... the grease-stains on my face... the dandruff... and asked how long it'd been. it never actually feels or seems gross until they start smelling you -- then suddenly you go from eco-friendly conservationist (read: lazy) to fucking gimli the dwarf.
225. Hillary said:
No time to read all 224 comments, but I might be the only one who is jealous of your ability to create all that.
Long story short, I never made more than 3 oz...ever. Wanted to, but my body didn't cooperate.
good for you!
226. patti said:
Not fair! I could only pump out 2-4 oz at a time. I could never get a whole BAG full!!!!
227. Kara said:
Even more proof that you are a super hero, mama!