When I say Jesus, you say Jesus, say Jesus. JESUS!
Wednesday, October 27 2004
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I just had an acid flashback to Vacation Bible School. Forgive me, Jesus.
1. jansell said:
Yes!! Let's make bracelets and necklaces and backpacks!! We'll be rich! Jesus would want that.
2. kimberley said:
I'm pretty sure Jesus would be down with that. Holmes.
3. Angie said:
That's the scariest thing I've seen, ever. The thought processes that must have had to occur for that to be maufactured, then actually used is just plain creepy!
4. spygeek said:
What's weird is, I assume the answer is "no one", but I'm not sure that's what the writer intended. Hmmm.
5. dustin said:
..after hours of conversation with Ghandi and the rest of the UN, they decided on Kashmir...
Oh, sacrilege.
6. Veeg said:
Oh, I want that bumpersticker. And maybe a t-shirt, too. Fucking hilarious.
The "Armstrong Clause" made me weepy.
7. Becca said:
whoa
8. denise said:
The strangest part of that photo is that it looks like someone took a BB-gun to the car and went after it.
9. di said:
can i get an amen?
10. Dale Cruse said:
In Boston, we have "What Would Johnny Damon Do" shirts.
11. Chris From Ohio said:
As seen on the back of the car of an abortion clinic protestor...
12. Katie said:
Dale Cruse, that is extremely funny.
I may be a pinko commie America-hater (actually, I really, really dig the Bill of Rights, among other fine American institutions) but, barring the obvious answer of "nobody", I'd have to guess that we might make the short list. Given all the sinning and all.
13. Michelle said:
And in Boston we also have a "Got Curt?" shirt. Not sure why we have to play a dedicated wounded pitcher off as a milk ad...any ideas any one?
14. Tracy said:
France!!!!
Blue voter in a red state...
15. Monika said:
Not all abortion clinic protesters, in fact most of them, do not bomb clinics, shoot doctors, or act in any violent way. The stand or pray peacefully and some try to give the men and women going in ALL the information they need to make an informed decision, like what the abortion procedure really is, and what effect it may have on them, which abortion clinics often do not provide. They do, after all make much more money when a woman stays for an abortion, than when she leaves to keep her baby or put him/her up for adoption.
16. Jeff said:
Novelty and money Michelle. Novelty and money.
I live in New Hampshire and I saw someone with that shirt the other day. :)
17. Sarah said:
Anyone who would presume to know the answer to that question is totally deluded, how the hell does anyone know who Jesus would bomb? Its like those people who pretend to know what was in Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in Pulp Fiction.
I have my Canadian fingers crossed for Kerry!
18. Heidi said:
it's rain drops, not bbs and i think the sticker is funny (or sad, depends on your mood), in that it makes you think of how a lot of people in American society think today...by solving a problem (perceived problem), with violence. don't like someone or something, bomb the shit out of them. bomb them until they come around to your way of thinking.
19. Sue said:
Hey...other fun Jesus stickers include: "Jesus was a liberal," "Jesus shaves," "I found Jesus...he was hiding behind the couch the whole time," and "I found Jesus...now it's my turn to hide." All of this fun stuff comes from Northern Sun (www.northernsun.com), which features tons more political, feminist, religious, and just plain funny stickers, t-shirts, and other stuff. Enjoy surfing the site!
20. jeanne said:
I think the point of the bumper sticker is, in case you missed it, the irony of the "Jesus vote" being the same as the "let's kill them all" vote.
21. slick said:
jesus would bomb crawford texas. he told me so.
22. Daniel said:
More importantly, who would Johnny Damon bomb?
23. Mark said:
What is really annoying is that is a VW Toaureg and I want one. But the gas mileage is icky. 12 city 14 hwy! And it costs oh 35k+ depending. People like that should drive Yugo's.
24. Fran said:
Jesus is da bomb!
25. Stephen McKenna said:
Jesus would make a great president...Of France!!!!
26. coolbeans said:
In case Jesus is reading:
Hey, Jesus! If you're going to bomb someone, could you bomb the people making that reality show "Laguna Beach" on MTV? Because they are bad people. They are terrorizing me.
Oh, and please don't bomb me for watching. Thanks, Jesus.
27. G. McFuzz said:
The "of France" lady should check this link out.
http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml%3Fi=20041108&s=facts
28. Liz said:
I don't have any inside information here, I mean Jesus and I are just friends. We keep business *totally* seperate from our personal relationship. But if I were to guess? And this is totally a guess? Paraguay.
29. Brooke said:
I think the point of the sticker is that Jesus wouldn't bomb anyone. My knee jerk reaction is always to the left, but this looks like a pacifist kind of thing to me. I'm an atheist but c'mon people, not all christians favor Bush and bombs.
30. Murphy said:
I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to use "acid-flashback" and "bible" in the same sentence.
you're probably going to spend eternity in the fires of hell. and i'm talking about the underworld, not that burning sensation when you pee.
:) just kidding.
we can joke around here right?
or did i just seal the last nail in my pine box and now everyone's going to write to me about how i made baby jesus cry and i'm a sinner... cha cha cha.
31. mari said:
I second Brooke's point. The irony seems to have been lost on a lot of the posters. Maybe it's still too early in the morning?
32. LadyBug said:
Heather,
Nothing to do with the picture, but...
I'm sitting here eating my Pop-Tart (Did you know a strawberry Pop-Tart without frosting is actually HEATLH FOOD? It's true!) and thinking about that ho, I mean that WOMAN who sent you the hate mail. I don't get it. What is UP with those idiots? I mean, she visits YOUR website and looks at YOUR photos and reads YOUR posts, and then feels free to get all up in YOUR ass?? What the hell?
You know, there are times when I don't agree with some of your opinions (or those of other websites I visit), but I am mindful that it is YOUR website, not mine, and will therefore abound with your opinions, thoughts, and experiences, most of which are gloriously funny, laugh-out-loud, giggle-inducing hilarity! It's relatively easy to enjoy the humor and skip over the political stuff (most of which is in the comments, anyway).
And, here's a revolutionary idea for those who get all riled up about stuff they read here.....are you ready? 'Cause this is so new and 'out there,' I'm not sure if some of the more sensitive visitors can handle it.....
If you don't like what you're reading, and you find yourself tempted to send hate mail or make hateful, narrow-minded comments about someone's political views or their HAIR, for crying out loud....CLICK YOUR ASS ON OUTTA HERE. That's right. See that little 'X' in the upper-right-hand corner of your screen? Do yourself and everyone else a favor and click it. Now.
Yes, I'm rambling. I don't even comment very often, and this is by far the longest comment I've ever left, but for some reason that 'of FRANCE!!!!' woman really got my blood boiling this morning. I started fuming and cursing and just had to vent a little.
I feel better now. Everyone else feel better? Deep breath now.
God bless,
LadyBug
33. Heather 2 said:
Hey coolbeans -
I was caught watching "Laguna Beach" by my boyfriend, and he was not too impressed. But I. Can't. Stop.
I was really bummed when Morgan (I think that's her name...and yes I'm embarassed about knowing it) got her reject letter from BYU.
34. tiffany said:
Hahahaaa Liz - hilarious.
My dad once honked at someone who had a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. It was one of those "hey buddy the light's green are you gonna go?" honks. The guy gave my dad the finger! We weren't sure if that meant that the guy was an atheist who wanted Christians to honk so he could give them all the finger, or if he was just an asshole who forgot he had a bumper sticker urging fellow Jesus lovers to honk at him.
Then again, my dad doesn't really love Jesus... maybe Christians can sense that somehow.
35. Ty said:
Totally not about the picture...
Tracy, I love the way you phrased your vote..."blue voter in a red state" That's perfect.
I am also a blue voter in possibly the reddest state of them all this election--Texas. I need to move back to Austin where Bush lost the last election 60% to 40%...go my little Austin liberals!!
36. Another Bleeding Heart for Justice and Equality said:
I love that bumper sticker.
With all the "turn the other cheek" and "love thy neighbor as thyself" in the New Testament, I think it's pretty clear that we DO know who Jesus would bomb. Nobody!
That's the whole point of Jesus, as far as I'm concerned: Love Everybody, Goddamnit!
I hate how the religious fuckwads that are running this country like to forget that.
And before you get all huffy and offended, I call them Religious Fuckwads because as a Religious Bleeding Heart, I feel entitled.
37. Regan said:
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh...that's definately brightened up my day. Seriously, I don't know who the crazier religious group is: utah mormons, or southern fundamentalist crackpots. you should see the weirdo bumper stickers I see around here!
38. TracyDee said:
I think France is totally cool... they have that "je ne sais quoi" Meaning.. that they don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of them... they're French :)
39. shana said:
Ok, most likely the best jesus comic ever: (do not read if you are easily offended by funny jesus stuff)
http://www.combustibleorange.com/index.php?current=11
Of FRANCE, no less!
Dude, Heather, I think your hair is totally awesome no matter what color it is (and I rather liked the blond...perhaps she is just bitter she can't color her hair because she is a FREAK of NATURE!)
40. erin said:
Huh? The Toe-rag doesn't even come as a TDI.
I love the way "France" and "liberal" have become the insults du jour. That's what they get for providing the world with haute cuisine and the U.S. with social security! Damn Frenchies and liberals!
What's next? Cats? Are they the new evil?
41. Beerzie Yoink said:
Let me here you say yea.
42. Mal said:
I love that most of the posters don't seem to get the bumper sticker. It's obviously anti-war.
43. erin said:
okay, so the toe-rag comes as a TDI. my bad. unfortunately, i cannot delete my stupidity, so have at it, internet.
44. Lindsey said:
What?!
45. rlk said:
I'm a red voter in the dark blue state of massachusettes. yucky. I can't even ride my bike down the road (my backpack has a Bush/Cheney sticker on it) without getting screamed/honked at. I've stopped wearing it, but I'm still voting for Bush. I really like your site, sorry about that crazy mean email. Not all of us are mean and vicious. I feel your pain, but from the opposite spectrum. Also, Jesus rocks but that sticker is absurd.
46. faith said:
Jesus would bomb Bush.
well he probably wouldn't but if he had to bomb someone..........
47. Amber said:
Ummm ... parts of Revelations lead me to believe that the answer to that is not, in fact, "no one" but something more along the lines of "the entire world".
God did promise not to flood the earth again, but let's remember that, yes, he has destroyed the earth before because we were bad.
48. Frank said:
Another bumper sticker i've seen that i like:
Dear Lord, protect us from your followers. Amen.
49. Christi said:
I have a TDI too, TDIs are cool!
50. Liz said:
Yup, I pretty much agree with Amber. Really.
51. Lexa said:
Jesus would defintely not bomb anyone, but GOD - now that dude will smite your ass!
*ahem, just kidding God...
52. Emily said:
What is the deal with "Laguna Beach" anyway? Is it a reality show or not?? It seems so scripted. And why is it SO ADDICTING????
53. Whitters said:
Great sticker.
Not all abortion clinic protesters, in fact most of them, do not bomb clinics, shoot doctors, or act in any violent way. The stand or pray peacefully and some try to give the men and women going in ALL the information they need to make an informed decision, like what the abortion procedure really is, and what effect it may have on them, which abortion clinics often do not provide
Seriously? No, whatever. Because when I went to have my abortion, the protestors held up plastic dolls coated with ketchup and signs with fake fetuses on them, and they yelled out stuff about how we should turn back because we would go to hell if we went through with the procedure. Yes, that's very helpful. NOT.
And my clinic did provide three horus of pre-abortion counseling, as many clinics do, so that I fully understood what was going to happen.
Don't presume to know about such things when it's obvious you have very little understanding of it.
54. Anita said:
I'm with Brooke too.
As an owner of a TDI, I *knew* it had to be a leftist liberal making a point that Jesus WOULDN"T bomb anyone.
A bumper sticker at work that bugs me to no end:
WARNING: In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.
I always think:
1) Jesus just *loves* braggarts, you self-righteous fool.
and
2) I'm pretty sure a woman drives this minivan, so it's unMANned already.
Loving to bitch about blind religiosity.
55. Christi said:
Um Erin, the Touareg DOES come in a TDI
56. Emily said:
And yes... I am guilty of using excessive punctuation. ;(
57. Whitters said:
Oh, by the way, my italics didn't work. I was quoting Monika in my comment, before responding to her.
58. AA said:
I simply have to hope this was someone being funny...
One of my favorite Jesus stickers (wow that sounds wrong): What Would Jesus Do? Well, first off, he'd be Jewish.
59. amalita said:
i was thinking of a t-shirt that says
"vote for bush; surrender your bush"
i'm going to make one i think.
60. Dee said:
OMG Chris from Ohio what have you started?
Monika, I do agree with the babies for adoption (been trying to adopt for 5 years) .... but as you know, it is every woman's give right and a free country wether we agree or not, and the right to bomb the practice is a little too much for me to agree with.
Just becasue people are selfish stupid beings does not give anyone the right to kill them.
Same as war --- I trully believe no one gave the right to kill the next person, there's got to be better ways.
Personally, I don't give a rats ass who wins for President. The President to me is just a figure, the people with the money (we all know who they are) will end up making all the decision no matter who wins the election. Its all about balance, they can help 1% and hurt 1% of the population no matter who gets elected since its all a matter individual principles. One President will never be the right one for 100% of the people.
Praise the USA - the country where people are in bed by 9pm and can't allow their kids to play with other children withouth fearing for their life. The country where you have to pay $4 for a decent cup of coffee. The country where we don't know or fucking neighbors. As many positives as the USA has the negatives impact our lifes daily. Go President! whoever the fuck you end up being.
61. kim said:
who cares?? but i don't care what he would do anyway, so.. but the sticker is awesome. especially since it's driving around in utah (i suppose?)
62. bluecalx said:
judas.
63. BB said:
Just wanted those blue voters in red states (including you!)to check out votepair.org - make your vote count!
64. (Yet another) Tracy said:
Someone gave my husband a shirt that says, "Jesus WAS my co-pilot - but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." Just another take on the Eucharist, really...
Excellent bumper sticker.
65. marsha said:
How did abortion get into this? And btw I've had an abortion adn have NEVER regretted it. That's a real thing that happens too. And I have yet to meet an abortion doctor who does the job out of some evil need to kill my baby for money. That's just cracker talk.
66. The Mighty Jimbo said:
fran so stole my comment.
i gotta get up pretty early to be the smart ass around here now.
67. Colleen said:
Jesus - democrat, repulican, green party, libertarian, or independent? could He override the electoral college?
and as far as that "of France" woman.... what's up with mocking people's hair? what's next... mocking chemo victims with their lack of hair?
(Donald Trump obviously is an exception, of course)
68. Jason said:
Maybe they'll start selling these in all the red states soon. I can just see all the bubbas in Texas driving around with these bad boys! Right below the gun rack and the "ain't skeered" sticker.
69. moose said:
God might bomb, but Jesus wouldn't. It's a New Testament/Old Testament thing.
I'm another blue voter in another red state but I gotta say "votepairing" gives me the ethical creeps.
I read yesterday that the French reconvene the procedure on average 137 times annually... the world average is 103... the Japanese average is 49 (and 40% don't feel satisfied)... they didn't say what the American average is, but I say:
Oh, France!!!!
70. Amanda B. said:
I'm not a Christian, but I dig on Jesus. He was so cool. Leave it to us humans to take his perfectly nice and sweet message and turn it into a clusterfuck.
This is the funniest "poke fun at religiosity" site EVAH!!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
Hope it brings you JOY!
71. Em said:
I am cracking up. JESUS!
72. marsha said:
Oh and the person who thinks our country sucks and the pres doesn't matter? Go to iraq and say that to them. Or the Sudan. Or a kajillion other places where the water will kill you and most of the population sleeps on the ground. Spoiled brat.
73. patti said:
I love how your website addresses the issues that no one else dares to go near. That is why I check your site every day, it's like the intrigue of a car wreck. Too bad it is at your expense though,like what the occasional In France-type person has done to you!
I also feel your pain. My neighborhood is a microcosm of Utah. All of the front yards have Bush signs, and here we are with a NOBUSH.COM sticker on our son's Little Tykes station wagon! hahhahahahahaaaaaaaa (my mom was appalled)
74. james said:
Also have to go with Brooke on this one. Yes, not all Christians are voting for Bush. I stand as one among them.
voting for justice.
75. Friday said:
Well Dee, it seems your comment was just a passive-agressive vehicle for calling women who have abortions "selfish stupid people." I hope the child you so desperately want will grow up to have a more tolerant attitude towards those who exercise their right to choose.
76. moose said:
>>it’s like the intrigue of a car wreck
rofl.
that's the absolute truth.
77. Ty said:
Just another little ray of hope about my Red Texas...in my neighborhood there are several houses with Bush-Cheney signs in the yard, but for about every 2 Bush signs there is a Kerry sign. And the best one of all is the 6'x6' sign on stilts with balloons for Kerry-Edwards!! It gives me a little hope to see that. Not EVERY SINGLE PERSON in Texas is a republican.
78. Other Dee said:
Um, I think that Jesus just bombed Ashlee Simpson's career. And if that don't make you a True Believer, I'll be damned if I know what will.
79. Tracy said:
From a Yahoo story on Evangelicals struggling over the vote (for the whole story, click on my name):
Others are like Joe Urcavich, pastor of the nondenominational evangelical Green Bay Community Church, where more than 2,000 people worship each Sunday. He is undecided, troubled by the bloodshed in the Middle East.
"It's hard for me to say that Christians should be marching against abortion and carrying signs, and then turn around and giving a pep rally for the war in Iraq without even contemplating that hundreds and hundreds of people are being killed on a regular basis over there," Urcavich said.
"I'm very antiabortion, but the reality is the right to life encompasses a much broader field than just abortion," he added. "If I'm a proponent of life, I have to think about the consequences of not providing prescription drugs to seniors or sending young men off to war."
80. Christi said:
I am in a 'not yet decided what color we're going to be' state aka Florida, yes the hanging chad state! Now we're computerized, oh the trouble we're in for. We even have early voting, so not only are we waiting in long lines for flu shots we're also waiting in long lines for that 89 year-old retiree to figure out how to work the touch screen voting machine. What has the world come to. My street is mostly made up of Kerry signs oh and Bubba for Sherrif signs, haha Bubba The Love Sponge that is, google the name, you'll see what I am talking about. Ok, I have to get back to watching Ellen!
81. Tracy said:
"Um, I think that Jesus just bombed Ashlee Simpson’s career. And if that don’t make you a True Believer, I’ll be damned if I know what will."
Praise the Lord! Let us pray that He moves on to Brittney next...
82. Anne said:
Fer cry ay ay ... each day the comment section turns into "Adult Sandbox."
I only discovered dooce.com a week ago and the comment section is already boring. Love the Dooce-generated/centered part of the website, though.
83. Nathan Logan said:
K, I'm voting for Bush, but patti, that is hilarious.
I would die laughing to see your boy putting around in that thing. Pictures welcome.
84. Emma said:
I'm pretty darn sure that that bumper sticker is saying "Who Would Jesus Bomb- get it? GET IT? Jesus wouldn't bomb ANYONE, you jackasses! And it pisses him off when you kill people in his name! Now excuse me while I go buy some new socks."
Okay, maybe not the socks part.
Maybe I'm insane, of course. But I think not, in this case. I'm a smidge dismayed by the irony-free zone above. :(
85. Nathan Logan said:
(patti in comment 73, that is)
86. Nathan Logan said:
I wasn't going to say anything about who Jesus would bomb until I read Emma's comment. But check this out:
http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?language=english&version=NASB&...
No socks, but "the rest were killed with the sword which came from the mouth of Him who sat on the horse [JESUS], and all the birds were filled with their flesh."
No bombs, but a lot of death.
87. Kyllikki said:
i agree--it's a silly question. i'm with Amanda B on this one. we take the ultimate hippy full of love and turn him into the masthead of clusterfuck. king missile had it right--jesus was way cool (i love the delicious cake bit)
http://www.asklyrics.com/display/King_Missile/Jesus_Was_Way_Cool_LYRICS/...
88. Yas said:
I think that it should be either:
“Whom would Jesus bomb?â€
or
“Who would bomb Jesus?â€
Which one you are discussing here?
Is this a trick question?
I am confused.
(I am not native English speaker, so helpe me please.)
89. Chris From Ohio said:
Someone asked a while ago who started the abortion line of conversation... ::Waives a guilty hand above his head::
For the record, I just have a sense of humor.
90. LadyBug said:
>>"Who would bomb Jesus?"
Oh, Lordy...that's hilarious, no matter which side of the political fence you're on!
91. Jason said:
For all you people worried about the number of deaths from war and abortion: In 2003, 42,643 were killed in car accidents in the US alone (http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov/). Maybe you should spend your time lobbying for stricter licensing requirements (instead of handing out licenses to illegal immigrants - I'm from Cali).
Granted, traffic accidents don't incite the moral outrage of abortion or war, but MANY more people are being killed and injured. Yet war and abortion generate the fear and discussion - I can understand war, but abortion? How does that even affect you if you aren't the person getting the abortion? Moral and values should guide you in living YOUR life - they don't license you to go around judging everyone else's choices or give you a right to tell them how to live. Live your own life and try not to be a hypocrite (like the guy with the Honk if you love Jesus sticker who is flipping off people who honk at him).
And calm down about the firggin' jokes - they can be funny even if you disagree with the point of view.
OK, that concludes my morning rant (thanks, Heather, for the opportunity).
92. DeAnn said:
You don't have to know a lot about Jesus to feel confident saying he would bomb NO ONE.
And, also, why do such bitchy people e-mail you? I kind of hate that lady who called your hair a bitch.
Although I totally love the Armstrong clause. That is fabulous!
93. Aimee said:
The car accident effect: I don't want to see it - but I can't help looking. How appropriate.
I have found Jesus to have an excellent sense of humor. And excellent fashion sense.
www.jesusdressup.com
94. bandick said:
I feel quite certain that the emailer mistyped. She meant ‘i am from LA’ bitchIN blonde.
And if she thinks that there are only two issues of concern in this election, she has been spending too much time watching Fox News.
95. lily said:
LOL ewww you watched u're baby poopy! eww eww ewww i gotta get that image outta my head!
96. ...of france lady said:
geez, you write a drunken email to a girl you think rocks (except for her presidential choice) and suddenly you're the DEVIL. really folks, i'm a very level-headed open-minded person. i just don't like john kerry. that's all. i LIKE dooce's hair color, I even said so. i just got a little overzealous in my opinions.really, i didn't even think she'd read it. it's weird that all this reaction is coming from my little email. honestly, did NOT mean to put out so much negativity. so, um... sorry. peace.
97. Mir said:
I'm pretty sure Jesus would bomb... FRANCE!!!
Sorry to hear about the Playdoh-factory naked poop. BUT. Be on the lookout for Leta's attempt to join that most elite of all baby/toddler society groups, the Poop In The Tub Club. They get bonus points for being frightened of their own turd (as if it was some alien swamp monster coming to attack), by the way.
98. Dee said:
You know Marsha, most of the population in Iraq may sleep on the ground as you claim becuase of tyrans ruling. I didn't say I am for their way of living. But this country is not much farther behind ... some of us may have our own beds and jobs but do open arounds alnd look around at those who don't. I see it everyday which does not makes me spoiled. Those who don't see it need to call themselves spoiled brats.
Look around you and tell me the last time you got on the road without someone cursing at you or worse you cursing at someone else. We have all these roads and all these cars and we forget others who don't - that live in this country too --- I am looking at the big picture - you look at your miniscule segment of life.
I am not trying to put you down here, just to tell you that there are things, many things that suck in the USA and unfortunately the Presidency cannot fix those.
99. Dee said:
Friday,
You misundertood my post. I actually said the opposite - that although I may not agree with it it is a free country and people have the right to choose.
100. Dee said:
Jason,
I have to say that unfortunately because of our diversity some people do care about what others do with their bodies and their babies. To me adoption is not a hot topic since I believe in a woman's right to choose. However, it is an incredibly hot topic with a parent in my DDs dance class. The woman does not move on and the other day she was given a big shock by two parents that brought in very graphical pictures and articles about rape and badly deformed children. She was also given a story from a mother who was anti-abortion and whose DD was raped and ended up pregnant. The woman has not been back that I saw this past week but I would love to find out how she handled it.
I think a lot of times we take sides with something we believe in whether or not it affects us directly.
I've lost six babies (not to abortion) and can find a place to believe in women's rigth to choose - I have no right to judge as I am not God or Jesus.
Sad to say, abortion, war, all the bad stuff in the world in so many ways springs out of religion taken to the extreme - this in itself explains why so many people take these topics to heart
101. debutaunt said:
I'm sure Jesus would bomb these children ...
http://www.aztlan.net/iraqichildrenhorror.htm
No. Wait. *We* were the ones that blew that kid's head to bits like a smashed pumpkin.
I voted today. My blue vote in this red red state. That sticker is brilliant.
102. jen said:
One of my neighbors has this on a bumper sticker (paraphrased):
When Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor," he probably meant "Don't Kill Them."
Oh, and Leta clearly has her father's bottom system.
103. Dee said:
Debutant - I add this one www.robert-fisk.com
sorry dooce --- I am hogging up your space today --- I have a day off work and cannot stay away from the computer --- I'll be back at work tomorrow though ;-)
104. rlk said:
it takes a brave women to bring up Politcs and Jesus, will the comments ever end?
105. introverted said:
Please stop saying "Cali". Nobody who's really from California says "I'm from Cali". You're an import. We don't say "Cali".
106. Dee said:
lol introverted, you must really be Arnold
107. Anne said:
Oh Leta. I can't wait until you get potty-trained. I hope your mama (that's right, "MAMA") still has her website because I will be endlessly entertained by your mama's (there it is again, "MAMA") recounts of your attempts to master the toilet.
From She Who Is Currently Stuck In Toilet Training Hell Herself
108. bunny said:
Do most of you, honestly, care what Jesus says about anything?
Yeah, that is what i thought.
Let's leave Him out of our petty politics.
109. Graygirl said:
I am continually amazed at the subjects that generate so many comments.....politics, poop and now Jesus!
110. Guy Slade said:
http://gadflyer.com/articles/?ArticleID=249
111. Sue from Ohio said:
Too many great ideas for a website name....
who would Jesus get 'bombed' with?
112. Sue from Ohio said:
and would he get bombed on French Champagne?
113. ...of france lady said:
G. McFuzz- thanks for the link. i did, in fact, look it up and read every word. it's a complicated election. i hope whoever is best for our country wins. god, i hope so.
114. Dee said:
ok ready, here I go again - this one is for Guy -
I believe that the President is a person like everyone else. I believe the President has his own views and ideals and he believes he is right just like the rest of us. I believe the President did the best he could with what he was given and within the constraints of his personal views and the views of the rich. I believe that regarless of who gets to be the next President, he is a person. I believe that not everyone will agree with everything either of the presidential candidates will do in the next four years. I believe that no one person will satify 100% of the population now will his views match those of any individual 100% of the time
I believe Iraq, Iran, Cuba, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Germany, and the US are in the same Planet. I believe in equal rights. I belive in the power of people. I belive that people can be the best they can be if they pull together for a common cause.
I believe that the differences in people and their believes are what makes the world unique, good, and bad. I believe that its up to the people to make this country and the Planet better and the President can't control the outcome of the masses pulling together for what they believe in.
I believe I will never agree with anything I currently disagree with unless something that affects me personaly smacks me in the face. I believe I cannot convince anyone else to be like me because they are not me.
Most of all I believe war can be avoided if people believe in themselves and pull together in passive ways. I believe I support Our Troops because it is my duty to do so...but I also believe that war is never an answer. I believe that people need to learn that we are in a shared world and no one nation has a right to a bigger piece of the pie.
I believe in jokes, funnies, and ha ha's. I believe in mischief. I believe in Halloween, Christmas, and I believe in Fairies.
115. steven said:
thank you, yas. because the first thing i thought was "whom! whom would jesus bomb, goddammit!"
116. Graygirl said:
OH....and while we are on the subject of abortion and bumber stickers:
"HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME WITH A CHILD IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME WITH A CHOICE?"
117. Darcie said:
Re: Play-do doo on the changing table.
If it's a mighty, mighty mess, at my house that's what we call a "pootastrophy." (We don't say shit so as not to teach the baby cursewords.) You have my permission to use the term yourownself.
Girl, you give way too much airtime to the nasty hate mongers--those who are just jell-azz of you (cute baby, cute hairs, funny blog) and want to bring you down. There are many, many more of us who think you are phenoma-mama and wish you nothing but lightness of heart. So there.
118. Amanda B. said:
LL Cool J soooo said "Cali".
It's extremism that freaks me out. I was raised in southern Mississippi as a NON-CHRISTIAN. So, I've had my share of flayings from fundementalists. I do however believe in God and have been kicked in the teeth by many an Aetheist.
I don't mean to go all Oprah here, but I really think everbody has the right to find their own path. And your path doesn't have to intersect mine in order for me to respect you.
I've found that adopting an "i don't give a fuck what you think about my beliefs" attitude has been very helpful. It doesn't always work, because people really go for the jugular sometimes. Most of the time I can just say, "I understand that you feel that way." and walk off.
I swear though, if one more person tells me i'm "going to hell" or makes fun of my "imaginary friend", my zen is going to turn straight into a can of ass whoop.
119. debutaunt said:
Can we mix poop and politics? I think that would be funnier. No wait. Poop = politics. Maybe that's why this site exists? :)
BTW, In my house, a loaded diaper was called a full metal jacket.
120. katie said:
whoa.. current google ad: PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION. hahaha.
121. nameless said:
There is no one righteous, not even one. romans 3:10
I think Jesus said some pretty important things. Doesn't anyone care anymore?
"But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'" John 15:25
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[6] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.[7] 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."[
122. kp said:
Jesus IS coming. Look busy.
BTW introverted? I'm from Cali, and I say Cali. It's shorter and easier to type. Get over it.
But I DON'T ever say Frisco. I say The City.
123. Joe said:
Yas -- you need to understand that most Americans don't understand the difference between "Who" and "Whom". I think you can rest assured that it should have been "Whom would Jesus bomb?"
But your other suggestion has its own implications.
124. kate said:
Have you guys noticed what a beautiful thumbnail this photo makes up top in the right margin? It's perfect.
125. Kim said:
Did I ever tell you how I have your website bookmarked as a favorite? Yours and your lovely geeky husband's... are under "Parenting"
Yes... and I love it!!
126. Dee said:
Kate,
Your bags are beatiful!
127. Stacy said:
I think it is horrible that a site so dedicated to the love of a baby would have abortion ads on it...that's just wrong. All from a damn bumper sticker picture, people sure can go off on tangents! I liked to constipation relief ads much better! :)
128. Krystal said:
I think that is rather amusing, and its on a TDI. how much better can it be?
I heard the phrase "nothing is hotter than a rebelling mormon" on tv and I thought of you.
129. Derek said:
Eheh. That's rich. Who indeed?
130. MrsDoF said:
on another topic, and I am not sure if I am doing this correctly but--over at BBC News, there is an airline stewardess who is about to lose her job because of what she wrote on her 'blog. Unfortunately, the term Dooce is not written within the article, but we know of a similar background.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3955913.stm
131. Amanda B. said:
What abortion ads? What's a TDI?
132. catherine said:
the dog appears to appreciate the sign... http://www.anonymousjuice.com/slide/its/its_13.html
133. tiffany said:
ANNE! Annnnne I too am in potty training hell. *I feel your pain.* It wasn't my idea. It was that little punk Joshua and his Once Upon a Potty. I was perfectly great with the diaper routine. Eventually he probably would have learned to change his own diapers, and in the meantime I could do important things like sleep and shower and read Dooce's web site.
I am feeling very betrayed by all the parenting books. They should have a huge red chapter written on thick glossy paper so you can't miss it that WARNS you about the potty training.
Heather I know you get enough advice but this is different. This is GOOD, IMPORTANT advice: *Never ever ever potty train Leta.* The disturbing sight you witnessed this morning was a thing of beauty compared with the indescribable amounts of toddler poop that will consume your life once you initiate the potty training sequence.
134. Kano said:
Ummmm and what if you are Jewish?
135. Amanda B. said:
Jewish people ROCK! what's a TDI??
136. Jason said:
kp has it right - Cali is faster to type, but SF is The City.
And I'm not an import, CA born and I've lived here ever since.
How many NorCal kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hella.
How long does it take them? Days. (and yes, they are meant to be bad jokes)
137. carrie said:
"Full Metal Jacket"! Bwah!
138. Laurie said:
I saw a tshirt the other day that had a picture of Jesus hang gliding and it said "What wouldn't Jesus do?" Too funny!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
139. Martha said:
It's funny how people who are non Christians, go all over making fun of Jesus, and putting his name in stupid jokes like this bumper sticker. And by the way, Mormons aren't Christians... they just "think" they are. If they looked carefully, the Mormon bible has tons of errors in it. Having tons of children to fill souls that are lingering in heaven, and dying and getting your own planet... there's something wrong with that belief.
140. stella said:
hey martha, its called Satire.
141. Dave Thomas said:
It's funny how people who are Christians go all over spreading nakedly bigoted remarks about religions whose doctrines they know nothing about.
If Martha's a Christian, who'd want to be one?
142. Melynda said:
It's funny how people are so quick to judge an entire religion based on one person's comment who is of that faith.
143. Randall said:
re: When the Discovery Channel meets real life
If Leta's really lucky, her friends will be able to find archives of this post when she's thirteen.
144. Derek said:
Oh, for cryin' out loud, Martha. Even Jesus had a sense of humor.
145. Dave Thomas said:
Melynda, I don't think that's funny at all. It's sad. Which also happens to be the whole point of my post.
You see, I think Martha is a poor example of a Christian. Nonw, if I thought she was a fair example of a Christian, I would have said something like "All Christians are like Martha, so Christianity bites."
Happy to spell it out for you!
146. Christine said:
Graygirl:
Some people *shouldn't* be trusted with a child any more than they should be trusted with a choice.
I despise stupid bumperstickers.
147. Melynda said:
Hey Dave, heard of sarcasm much??? See when I said, "It's funny how..." I was being sarcastic.
Apparantly I must speak to you like a 2 yr old.
148. Aimee said:
Whoah. Hold the bitterness and hostility please. This is for Jason - love the jokes. I'm from Sacramento...and I just loved the look on a friend's face who was new to the area when I told him that a good place to hang out is in "Old Sac" eewwwww.
149. Don King said:
Ooh Ooh! Christian fight!
The question is, who would Jesus lay $5 down for?
150. Amanda B. said:
WhoMever tells me what a TDI wins the argument and is the master of all correctness.
151. Aimee said:
For Martha: The mormon bible has "errors" in it? By "errors" do you mean, "beliefs that are different than mine?" These "bibles" are up for interpretation - meaning, "I can use the bible to mold to whatever point I'm trying to convey at the moment."
I'm not mormon. I am formerly christian. Now I am logical. And yes, you can take that however you want to.
152. Fish said:
Wow, I don't check in all day and look at all the fun I've missed!
Dooce, methinks you're getting a little bored and are trying to stir things up a bit. Guess you gotta do something to warm up all those cold dark Utah nights.
153. Aimee said:
Please answer Amanda B. because I'm waiting too. :)
154. Fish said:
Turbo Direct Injection Diesel.
See: http://www.tdiclub.com/
155. Dave Thomas said:
Mel,
I think we might not actually be fighting. Seems like we're saying the same thing. Maybe we're just not hip to each other's rhetorical doo-dads. Sorry for being snippy.
156. Fish said:
I win, right, on the TDI thing? Does that mean that I'm the master of all correctness?
Now THAT'S gonna look good on my resume.
157. Barn said:
It's a 3 1/2 X 11" strip of vinyl with colorful ink on it. It's not a sign of the end times. Sheesh.
158. Daniel said:
I think we need a mediator to come in and settle all of this rancor and bitterness. I nominate Our Lord and Savior, Johnny H. Damon, who should be free after tonight.
159. Laurie said:
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
160. aic said:
I like the bumper sticker that reads: "In Case of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?"
161. juli said:
I like that bumper sticker. I have a policy against placing them on my car. I would place that one on my car, quite proudly I might add. Might make some of my 'neighbors' think. Re yesterday's prickly plant photo? Tell Jon that since I planted them along my front walkway, I haven't had a single Republican come to my door...
162. ella's ma said:
I love this site. Poo, boobs, politics, and Jesus all wrapped up in one big septic-tank poopy red bow.
I think judgemental, narrow-minded Christians like Martha so easily forget that Christians themselves were at one time on the recieving end of flying stones and hungry lions. Can't we all just leave the judging of Mormons, Christians, homosexuals, heterosexuals, blondes, politicians, etc. to what comes in the next life?
163. Martha said:
It’s funny how people are so quick to judge an entire religion based on one person’s comment who is of that faith.
I'm not judging, it's fact. Research it, like I did... I took a religion class to prove the errors. Why do you think that the Reorganized Church of Latter Day Saints, is now voting to getting rid of the Mormon bible? They found mistakes and are no longer going to use it.
And "Dave Thomas" ... I expressed my opinion, and just because you don't like it, you stomp all over it. I'm not a bible book beater... I don't go to church every Sunday, but it does offend me when people take Jesus' name and do stupid stuff with it.
"Oh, for cryin’ out loud, Martha. Even Jesus had a sense of humor."
Laugh it up people...
164. SuMMer said:
Hey,I have that bumper sticker saying on a t-shirt, with a picture of Dubya and a missile.That's probably because I'm a bleeding heart liberal vegetarian lesbian. :-) Nothing like sarcasm to start the comments rolling. LOL. I am also a blue voter in a semi-blue/mostly red state(Pennsylvania). Dubya and Bush have been kissing our asses to swing their way. Mr. Kerry, there's no need. You had me at hello. :-)
165. Martha said:
Ella'sma... I'm NOT narrow minded... I have 3 friends who are gay. I don't judge people.
Sheesh... just because I say that I don't like how people use Jesus' name in jokes or on bumper stickers... people jump down my throat.
That just goes to show how judgmental YOU are of me and my opinion, thanks. Just because you disagree, you all get pushed out of shape. Think about it.
166. Cate said:
Ah, Martha, Martha, Martha.
By what definition do you consider Mormons not to be Christians? By any reasonable definition I can think of, say "People who believe in the divinity of Christ and try to live by his teachings", Mormons are definitely Christians.
As for the "Mormon bible", I believe you mean The Book of Mormon?, what does the Reorganized church have to do with it? The ACTUAL "Mormon" Church - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the one the Reorganized church has been separated from for over 150 years - believes it to be true, more perfectly true than the Bible in fact. But that doesn't really matter to you, does it? Because you have a such a narrow and, unfortunately, common view on the world - "If I don't believe it, it cannot possibly be true. I must HATE those who believe things I do not." In fact, you spend so much time and energy on hate, you even took a class to prove the errors in the Mormon bible! Just think of all the other kind, loving, Christ-like things you could spend your time on instead of spewing anti-Mormon vitriol on the internet.
And, no, since you're asking, I'm not Mormon. But I know something of them and their beliefs and I couldn't stand to watch your hatred spewing forth any longer.
167. Ty said:
Here's the thing Martha, it's may not be what you meant but what you said does sound a bit rude.
First you said, "It’s funny how people who are *non Christians*, go all over making fun of Jesus"
Did you stop to think that it might actually be a CHRISTIAN who wrote that?? by declaring the author a non christian, you are suggesting that people of other religions do not respect your religion when in fact, there is a good chance it was written by a Christian who is trying to suggest war and bombs are bad and peace is good. What you said sounds a bit egocentric and religocentric (wonder if that's a word).
Then you said, "there’s something wrong with that belief."
To someone who is Morman (I am not by the way) that most likely would come off as a slap in the face. It sounds like you are suggesting that their BELIEFS are wrong. But it's a belief and by nature, they vary. They are not fact. There are many different branches to Christianity and there are so many different branches because people can have different beliefs but also believe in the same general principals of a religion.
I am sure you realize this, but maybe you didn't think about it.
Perhaps, what you typed wasn't what you meant, but to a bystander, that's how it came out.
168. Amanda B. said:
Thankyou Fish, you are kind and wise.