Demonstration
Leta was approximately 12 hours old when I took this photo of Jon wearing a nursing pillow. It looks pretty good on him.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. beachgal said:
How funny! Love the glasses!
2. HazelEyedPisces said:
Priceless! I still have a photo of mine wearing the empathy belt, another keeper.
3. Beth said:
But did you get a photo of him with cabbage in his bra?
4. Angie said:
That looks like it would be a pretty useful contraption for wearing after a few drinks, if you have a tendancy (as I do) for inexplicably falling over after the 3rd glass!
5. haley said:
Damn Heather, you're so right. Your husband IS hot!!
6. Becca said:
hehe he looks flustered.
7. beerzie yoink said:
One of the breast photos ever of him.
8. reenie said:
WHAT a hottie!
Love the "hospital bed" perspective.
9. Daniel said:
Looks like he's doing a pantamime or performing one of my all-time favorite dances: The Robot.
Daniel
humanwrites.blogspot.com
10. kgrp said:
i think what i like best about this picture is that you just gave birth and you're lying there all plum tuckered out but you STILL have your camera in hand! love that...
11. red said:
hilarious. love the glasses.
12. Katie said:
It's really hard to go all day without speaking to adults! Everything gets kind of- I don't know - bottled up.
Besides, I've got you beat. I filled MY dog's water dish like, six times! And walked him a few to boot. This always impresses the breadwinner on his way in the door, let me tell you.
13. Aelki said:
That's hilarious. =)
14. Kate said:
OK, I that thing looks like some sort of padded hula hoop. I have only seen the Boppy version.
Your Jon is such a good sport!
15. Heidi said:
I thought it was some kind of drum at first. Guess I need my morning caffeine!
16. Dre said:
Hubba hubba, Heather, your honey is hot hot hot!
17. Karrey said:
It looks like he's got some Moveable Type-birthing hair going. Nice.
18. coolbeans said:
More with the drooling and licking of the monitor.
Thank you.
19. Shiz said:
That's hilarious! It reminds me of the time my husband and I had a very strange conversation about men breastfeeding their babies. I had been told that it happens, that some men actually "learn" to breastfeed, and as one peruses the internet there certainly is some opinion on it out there. David was certain that it was impossible, but aparently it is, but only sort-of and only for some men. (The questions about milk quality and quantity from men, for exapmle, have never been researched.)
So I won the argument about whether it was possible, but ended up looking a little goofy about it. I for one will not be encouraging David to lactate when the time comes.
And now I'm a gross, weird commenter.
20. Pop said:
I work as a full time "father" at a boarding school and 10 middle school girls live with me (and my beautiful wife). I'm quite certain the conversations you have with Leta are more mentally stimulating than my daily chit chats.
I hate my life.
I'm thinking of starting my own blog in hopes of getting dooced.
Thanks for providing some refuge.
21. Laurie said:
That's hilarious! As if he's demonstrating how simple it really is... :-)
Laurie
22. Lindsey said:
He is totally working the whole nursing pillow thing, that look works for him :)
23. Shauny said:
You know, from that angle, he looks kinda like John Corbett when he was Chris The DJ in Northern Exposure. It's all in the glasses, the forehead, the expression. What a hornbag! :)
24. laura said:
Looks like the "My Breast Friend" (worst name ever, BTW) is meant to hold up the breasts not the baby! Clearly, post-birth confusion/euphoria going on...
25. Twinmama said:
Oh Lord, I hated that nursing pillow...
26. Tracy said:
It's Blurb v1.0, the Lactation Training Droid! They make 'em hot-looking so the mom will pay better attention.
27. Deenz said:
And it makes a handy floatation device...
28. kdub said:
I thought it was a portable high chair table at first until I read the caption. Obviously I don't have any kids...
29. Gretchen C. said:
Shit, your husband is hot.
When my older son was an infant, my husband was holding him while not wearing a shirt and Sam tried to nurse on him. My husband told him, "Son, here's a life lesson. Don't suck the hairy titty." I think we can all agree with that.
30. Laurel825 said:
"Hot dogs? Cigarettes? Keno?"
31. annakay said:
This absolutely captures the feeling of "we just had a baby" that i remember. A little slap-happy, still safely under medical supervision, NO idea what is ahead of us!
32. Colleen said:
wow... hands-free breastfeading... just strap baby in and continue with your normal routine
33. cathy said:
Re: your Tuesday "Ma ma ma ma ba" entry. When I stayed home when my kids were small I always thought there should be a phone service like the "Dial-the-correct-time" number, except with "Dial-the-day." You know, is today Wednesday? Thursday? It can't only be Wednesday, can it? Is this today's paper or yesterday's?
(Of course, I had my kids pre-internet.)
34. Laurel825 said:
As someone who is currently unemployed and dealing with a botched 'do (luckily waves hide some sins,including Bay City Roller's layers at the crown, stupid stylist!), and who thought of requesting another "Year in hair" bio-pic, thanks for the latest entry! She looks great with really short hair...and her spouse is right, "European".
35. the mighty jimbo said:
jon is becoming a regular internet hunk. if that whole computer thing doesn't work out for him, i think he might have a career modeling infant accessories on the catwalk.
someone get this man a baby bjorn in blue suede and he's ready for milan!
36. Mir said:
I think it's the beard shadow that really makes that shot....
37. Moxie said:
He appears to be wearing some type of hemorrhoidal toilet seat.
38. Anne said:
Very nice. Some powdery latex gloves would be the perfect touch for Dr. Strangelove there.
39. charlotte said:
now there's a man.
40. Regan said:
heehee! looks like a portable dinner tray.
well...guess it kind of is! ;)
41. LadyBug said:
Dooce,
I stumbled across this today, and immediately thought of you. A history of your favorite word! Cracks me up!
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/history.htm
LadyBug
42. espressocrazedboy said:
Have you yet considered auctioning the baby on ebay?
43. KTP said:
where do you find these things? (re: hair site)
44. Tracy said:
OMG, I love the hair site. I also love that I recognized her son's carseat (well, its a Cowmooflage print Britax, but I couldn't tell you if it's a Roundabout or Marathon). I am a carseat dweeb.
45. Laurie said:
Man, you're right! That man is HOT in glasses. :-)
46. Fish said:
As a soon to be new father, I protest the posting of this picture. No sleep and traumatic, emotional times sometimes call for desperate measures. Please, do not ridicule us. If you prick us, do we not bleed?
47. dr. dave said:
I'm so glad we weren't the only ones snapping digital pics and updating our websites before the kid was even "dry". We have a pic of me holding my daughter in one arm while typing on my laptop in a hospital chair, and everyone makes fun of us for it.
Dr. Dave
48. Jazzy said:
Are you sure it's not a bib for catching alcohol? Just a thought, you could recycle that way.
49. DeAnn said:
Aw, I love pictures from the past.
Jon is awfully scruffy. Could that be because a baby was just born?
I hope that was the only time he wore that nursing pillow! If he made a habit out of it, people might start to think he's weird.
50. Kathy said:
(regarding "Screaming Leta") --
Welcome to Leta's quest for independence. This kid knows what she wants and will give you a run for your money every step of the way. Good luck! (but she's still cute!)
51. patricia said:
Wait til Blurb hears about the remote control incident!
52. patricia said:
or phone incident. whatever.
53. Rabooka said:
The licking, please stop the licking! To make it even more annoying, my little guy Spike insists on leaning up against us when he licks. YUCK!
54. Beth said:
That's why, if you have dogs, it's all about the bathroom trash can with a closing lid!
55. Kristina said:
You know, my dog does that too, and it is just awful. My parents were gone one weekend (am I the only 20 year old living at home Dooce fan?) and my dad came home early and freaked out to see a used maxi pad lying torn up on the kitchen floor. Ack!
56. Super Turtle Girl said:
I remember those nursing pillows. Looking good, Jon!
57. Graygirl said:
When I had babies and dog, he liked to get into the trash and chew on diapers (YUCK!!!!) I would take said diaper and secure it under his collar so that he had to run around all day with an icky diaper around his neck. Talk about embarassed dog! Works every time.
58. aibee said:
Hey Rabooka, are you talking about your partner or your dog...?
59. danielle said:
What is it about dogs and chewing up smelly bathroom trash? ugh. Other than that, and dirty underwear, the dog I had as a kid had quite a love of pencils and crayons. Crayon-colored poop - 'twas quite a sight.
60. Rabooka said:
aibee- ha! My husband wishes he could lick himself...like all males. But, I was refering to my dog Spike.
61. charlotte said:
i'm only 19!!! (for kristina)
62. Bekah said:
OH MY GOD! I HATE HATE HATE when my dog licks his empty ball sack. Those mouth noises gross me out and I'm a terrible dog-mom who screams at him to "STOP LICKING YOUR NO-NUTS!" so he thinks he's done someth
63. Suzy said:
Okay, thats a nice picture of Jon. Very cute, but for the love of god, OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that toilet picture!!! I cannot look at that picture without flashbacks of you and Jon giving birth to your garlic pizza poops and imagining the anguish and the about to fall over from pooping feelings that must have transpired in that bathroom. I am sorry. As funny as those stories were, I have tried to remove those images from my brain to no avail!
*Looks away from the toilet*
64. amy said:
I dunno... I think Chuck was presenting the dead stuffie of Leta's as a reminder to you of what you have done to him. He has gone from king of the hill to a sad creature who has to kill small animals for attention. (Kidding of course..)
Your hubby does have some of that John Corbett stuff happening. The sensitive stud muffin stuff.. yummy!
65. DoulaBrooke said:
why is it that my husband can look so damned cute when wearing glasses (much like your cute hubbie) and I end up looking like an old school marm? not fair!!
66. robin said:
My son got mobile yesterday....YESTERDAY!!!!
Crawling happened overnight. And one day later I had to baby-proof the entire apartment. Drawers, cupboards, stairways, windows, shoes lying on the floor, you name it.
Oh my god, life has changed.
67. Amanda said:
What is it that makes everyone think Jon is so cute!? I know people that aren't cute until you know them and maybe Jon is one of those.
68. Toni said:
Dooce. How do you find so much to say? It's amazing. I have to write an essay, excuse me, personal statement for law school and I can't think of one fucking thing to write. HOW DO YOU DO IT?
I read your blog and it's fluid and easy complete with functional semi-colons and colons and dashes. I could SING your fucking writing. Maybe I will. The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid writing this essay seems to have no bounds. Today for example, I went to the grocery store and purposely forgot three items so I could have an excuse to go again. True.
sigh. Advice?
69. Julia said:
I don't even have a kid to inspire jealousy and wickedness, but my cat maims q-tips anyway. Our bathroom door doesn't close properly unless you push at the right spot while closing it, and if you forget, she can bat it open and get in and then you find oddly elongated q-tips everywhere. Ick.
70. Kelli said:
It was after my dogs dug a hole IN MY COUCH (center cushion, no kidding), that I learned about the wonders of crate training. For several years, my poor lil' doggy girls were crated whenever I left the house. Now that they're a little older (5 & 6), I don't have to crate them anymore, and they don't destroy things. I do keep a babygate up, though, to keep them out of the cat's litter box.
Prior to my buying a crate, though, my girls would greet me with many unpleasant surprises - chewed up clothing (taught me to always hang up my clothes...almost), a chewed up tube of antibiotic ointment (in a metal tube, no less, and I still have no idea where they found it!), and, my favorite, a plastic tumbler from a college football game, of which all that remained was the round bottom. The rest had been ingested, which I wasn't sure about until later...
71. stella said:
re: the dog chewing things. I lost two tv remote controls in two weeks all because of the fangs.
72. Tracy said:
Dog licking. Oh my god. The worst sound there is. Balls or ball-less, male or female, doesn't matter - they all lick their nether regions, and I CANNOT STAND IT!!!