Bring it on, Spring
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
301. Henryk_ said:
Southern Fried Gal......my day has just begun!!!!
302. Henryk_ said:
Blow.........please explain????
303. southern fried girl said:
I am annoyed with a male who is in my life and I think he sucks big donkey dick. Not literally. At least I do not think so. I just want to know why men do the things they do. Y'all are a fuckin mystery.
304. Henryk_ said:
Southern Fried..........life is a 2 way street. I could ask the same thing about some women I have had the misfortune to come across! Pple in glass houses etc
305. southern fried girl said:
Wow, ok. It must be totally all me.
306. Henryk_ said:
Now, don't start being the martyr! Sounds to me like you are a normal person, subject to some of the the trials and tribulations of some relationships.
307. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
SFG, it is totally not just you. And I have to say, male gyneocologists TOTALLY blow, but not literally of course, that would be malpractice. Anyway, I had to go to the ER over the weekend and this male OBGYN worked his magic on me, and he totally made things worse. Men should be banned from practicing gynecology, with their big ass hands. What the shit do they know about a period?
Men DO blow.
308. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Woot! Only seven minutes to go! Let's talk more about men that suck!
309. giggles said:
Dawners: Glad you're here to add to the far outnumbered Missourian's. You weren't kidding about the good vibes being sent from the Show Me State to Utah yesterday. Yeah for Leta!
In 14 minutes I start on my spring break (from work) - hurray!
Ya'll enjoy Chuck Friday, okay?
310. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Why the crap do they call it the Show Me state? What is it that they want me to show them?
311. Henryk_ said:
Wooooooooo...I am outnumbered here!!!! I had better get back useful employment!
312. SwoosieQ said:
Heather, delurking to say congratulations on the fabulous news for Leta...
My little boy, who is 10 mos old, is going through a very similar thing. We are waiting on the "ok" verdict, but we are fairly (fairly) sure that it is just him being stubborn... He wont roll over or crawl, but man if you give him your fingers, he will walk all day!!!
He started out in this world with troubles though, he needed open heart surgery at 8 days old, but has had a complete surgical repair - he is 100% healthy - we are just waiting to hear if he can do all he is supposed to...
The verdict around here is that he is just stubborn too:)
THank you for sharing your story with the world, so we know we are not the only ones...
313. southern fried girl said:
Yep, day is almost over. Thank God. Wait, today is only Wednesday. FUCK!!! Two more days. At least one of my bosses is out tomorrow and Friday. That is 33% of my headache gone.
Luckily not all men suck (just a lot of them) or I would so start pitching for the other team.
314. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Henryk, I don't think all men suck. Just the vast majority of them. My boyfriend doesn't suck. I think you are quite un-sucky, too.
315. Henryk_ said:
High hormonal state here!!! Eject....eject.....eject...boooooommmmmmmm!
316. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Wow SwoosieQ. Your little boy sounds like a real trooper. What a neat little boy! I bet he will be running around like mad before you know it. And lots of kids go from doing nothing to walking - a friend of mine has a kid that never crawled but started running around one day. Kids are all different, and they do things in their own time. If I had my druthers, I would sit on my ass all day drinking out of a bottle and pooping my pants too, if I could.
317. Henryk_ said:
As Henryk_ parachutes to safety, he thinks to Katie b b a w shows signs on sanity and good sense! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
318. giggles said:
kbbaw - re#310:
We can be very pessimistic - especially of those east and west coasters who think....
:-) We can be opinionated too. :-)
319. Nathan Logan said:
Anyone seen Mouse lately? I'm worried for the little guy, especially with his home page being _wiped out_!
You don't think Tifnee and Kivin...no...no, they couldn't have...
320. coskel said:
i wrote mows to see if anything was wrong...no answer. :(
side note: I have to write a quick bio for the host of a PBS syndicated program that I am appearing on tomorrow - anyone want to help? I am, as they say, a good writer.
321. Molly said:
I am so happy to hear that Leta is fine! :)
Spring is Sprining in Wisconsin, too! Today we had rain.. with Thunder! Things will be green shortly..
322. coskel said:
NOT a good writer .. see?
323. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Coskel, forgive my senility, but is the bio about you or about the host?
And why is there a green arm sticking out of my ass?
324. coskel said:
me, the host has to have something to go off of so that he can ask me questions. of course the fact that they waited until THE NIGHT BEFORE to ask for it tells me a lot: im gonna be flyin' blind on this.
And hey, you can see it, cause Flint's PBS station is the only one in Michigan that will carry it. :)
325. Graygirl said:
I've been wondering about mows too, wrote him and no response either. Tried Tifnee's site and registered and all....still nothing. Can't figure it all out...guess I'm challenged???
326. RyanH said:
'tis Spring, and macro-shots of flowers are in style yet again.
Glad to hear of Leta's report!
327. Susie said:
mouse and family appear to be taking a break from blogging. don't know why; hope it's for happy reasons.
328. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, guidelines? Oh crap, I know that means trouble and I am terrible about following rules...
instructions however, I am better with.
329. Biggest Apple said:
Stubborn babies = Sassy independent kick ass big people. Rough now at times but pure joy later on ;)
330. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Jessica - I can easily turn the guidelines into instructions.
See me after class.
Coskel - what show, and when's it on?
331. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, I am so there! I just gotta get my walker dusted off.
332. JessicaRabbit said:
My candles smell like candy corn.
333. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Oh, you had to go and bring the walker into this, did you?
Hands off my Geritol, grasshopper.
334. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
My candy corn smells like candles.
335. CanadianAmy said:
hey! I get Michigan PBS here in Canada! Its one of my HDTV channels! So what's the show?
336. CanadianAmy said:
Please tell me it is something other than a special on waterfowl or national parks.
337. coskel said:
well, amy, you may want to watch something about waterfowl - its called Time To Talk About Opera, and I don't know the full list of PBS stations that carry it, all I know is that Flint is one of them. It will be on at least 4 times that I know of. I just want a well-written bio so I don't sound like DORK, although I'm happy to be one here at dooce.
338. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Hey, bagels, kegels...
Could one use a stale bagel for kegels?
Makes its own cream cheese!
339. Ern said:
Awww, bucky!
Pretty impressive that Heather can do that mid-stream stop POST-CHILD BIRTH! I've got some exercising to do!
340. JessicaRabbit said:
I don't even know what Geritol is I am so young and such a nice girl.
I do however know what kegels are, and I know they arent just good for helping with labor, heh.
341. coskel said:
yeah thats we he said ;)
342. Dick Pryor said:
That post is a rip-off of a great Richard Pryor piece where he says how painful it is for a man to do that.
343. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Jessica -
*boom*
That lightning bolt was meant for you, I think.
Thou shalt do kegels with Geritol.
344. mrtl said:
I get it. Leta's is a cheeseburger, and yours is a bagel. Makes sense to me!
345. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, who said I dont already do them? hmmm??
And fling all the bolts you need, Im dodging and dipping and diving and ducking and dodging like a MoFo over here.
346. JessicaRabbit said:
Wait, If I am a Mo then does being a MoFo just make me a chronic masturbator?
347. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I'm told that chronic often leads to masturbation, often with a handful of french fries.
Mmmmmmm, greeeeeasy!
348. JessicaRabbit said:
Oh now see, you had to go there. And the kids are going to their dads tonight and I got a fridge full of Koolaid too. You wench!
Bucky, Im just sayin, its so on now. Its SO feakin on!
@
349. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Oh god, you brought out the Famous Anus!
Gumby is mine...your Famous Anus cannot have him until my moderately notorious ass is done with him.
350. JessicaRabbit said:
Well Bucky, you push a girl into a corner and you see what happens. Gotta bring out the big guns, or maybe more accurately, the big buns.
Once a girl gets a Famous Anus she might as well use it to her advantage. And you did want that autograph, no?
@@@@@@ awww ya, its getting all fiesty up in here.
See what being first does to me? So out of control. I blame you Bucky, cause If I wasnt up emailing you, I wouldnt of been first so there!
351. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Sheesh, I get blamed for everything! And I'm only really responsible for like 85% of it.
Whoa, better let that autograph dry before I shut my scrapbook.
352. Kassi said:
That's so funny...or at least my reaction whenever I read about kegels. My first thought is that I should be doing them...it's all that pregnancy conditioning. I always felt guilty when I wasn't doing them...I guess I can make up for it now.
353. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, your right. Im sorry, I shouldnt blame you for everything.
I should respect my elders.
SNAP!
354. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Awww, now, you hadda go and snap me.
I have a mind to hike up my Depends and shuffle over there for a good rumble.
Eh? What were we talkin' about? Where's the kleenex I had in my sleeve?
355. CanadianAmy said:
Bucky and Jessica, I am just enjoying the show.
356. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, shuffle your old semi famous ass over here with them sleeve kleenex, I still got the cough cough too sick to do the dishes cough going on.
Dont forget to wear your knee sock support hose, you know what those do to me.
357. JessicaRabbit said:
CanadianAmy, aww thanks. This is just the matinee, you should see what we do for the midnight show!
358. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy - you brought the camera, right?
Jess - I'm such a badass senior citizen, my varicose veins spell out "Bad Motherfucker"
359. AndiMAC said:
Glad everything is ok with Leta...Whew..Bring on Spring!
360. JessicaRabbit said:
Well that is exactly why you are the
Buck Doggie Dogg, owww, bow wow yo yippie yo yippie yeah, just walking the dawg, the Buck Doggie Dog.
You so bad ass, aint nobody can touch you.
Can't touch this, oh ho oh ho ho, you can't touch this.
Just for a minute lets all do the butt.
@
You can't touch this.
361. CanadianAmy said:
Camera? Nahh, the old folks home only has a reel to reel 8 mm. You guys will look GREAT.
362. JessicaRabbit said:
()@()
363. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I dunno about the @.
Once I was a prison bitch, it was more like 0
364. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy - but the exciting, the really exciting news, is that they've just upgraded us to a VCR at the old folks' home!
Now we can watch "Murder She Wrote" allllll day long!
()@()
Two can play THAT little game.
365. CanadianAmy said:
Man, I remember my best friend and I reading "The Story of O" that her mom had in her bedside table when we were like, 11. THAT was some good readin'.
366. CanadianAmy said:
Cause you guys were talking about O's I felt I had to put that in.
Even though I don't really know what you guys are talkin' about, I am trying to be a good sport and blend in.
367. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy - "The Story of O"
*blink*
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
(gawd, did you get your little eyes opened, I bet!)
368. CanadianAmy said:
Geez, yeah. We were "O"bsessed with that book.
369. Susie said:
I was skimming the comments and thought I saw Famous Amos. I came here for cookies. Oh my.
(CanAmy, I read that book too when I was way too young. Was there some conspiracy to distribute that book to preteens or something?)
370. CanadianAmy said:
What the hell was her mother thinking I wonder having that book handy for nosey young Catholic girls?
My mom only had a pair of underwear that had chimps on them and the words, "Let's Monkey Around."
371. JessicaRabbit said:
I don't think I ever knew what I was talking about to begin with.
Oh god, is that a prerequisite to posting?
Oh man, I just have to be quiet right now then.
BUcky, (.)(.) tag, your it.
372. CanadianAmy said:
And one old, weird looking condom in it's wrapper with Hawaiian writing on it that her friend brought back for her.
373. Susie said:
My pajama top says "No Monkey Business", but it has a smiling monkey on it, so it makes one wonder if the sign is to be enforced...
374. CanadianAmy said:
Jess. Don't ever be quiet. Especially not here.
375. JessicaRabbit said:
My parents just had the old Joy of Sex book, with the hairy armpit licking hippies, now that scares you.
And this is the end result. People, just say no to hairy armpits.
376. CanadianAmy said:
Hey! Smiling Monkeys! Now we are BACK on TRACK.
377. CanadianAmy said:
The Joy of Sex! Yeah those were some dingy looking people in there.
378. CanadianAmy said:
And Bucky, at our old folks home, we prefer "Father Dowling's Mysteries" to "Murder She Wrote."
379. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Monkey Business. heh heh heh heh
If I hadn't mended my "monkey=vagina" ways, I'd sure have somethin' to say about that.
But of course, I wouldn't do that, comparing a monkey to a vagina.
Never.
And I would never play Titty Tag.
(.)(.)
You know, like that, I wouldn't do it.
Wouldn't be prudent, not at this juncture.
380. JessicaRabbit said:
Gave me a permenant aversion to body hair let me tell you what, well that and seeing my parents old Ron Jeremy pornos. hairyhairyhairy
381. Susie said:
The children in our extended family found a SEX BOOK on my mother-in-law's bookshelf this past Easter Sunday. It was a very traumatic experience for Nana. I'm going to blog about it, but the short version is, when my kid asked her what she was going to do with the book, Nana said she was going to donate it to the HOSPICE. (WTF?!!) I had been very grownup and respectable to that point, but I lost it, then.
"What? See this picture here? You're gonna die and you'll never get to do THAT again!"
Hospice. Why'd she have to pick hospice? She said she just got flustered and didn't know what to say.
382. CanadianAmy said:
Ha! Hospice! I love what people blurt out under pressure.
383. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
First: Ron Jeremy, ewwwwwwwwww! He's got crazy zombie eyes, and it frightens me. I'll give him points for havin' a dick that's better trained than a show dog, though.
Second: Susie, if I'm ever in the hospice, I hope you'll be kind enough to bring the unwanted sex books around. I know I want a technical drawing of a reverse cowgirl to be the last thing I see on this earth.
384. CanadianAmy said:
Ron Jeremy! EEEEUUUUWWWW.
385. Susie said:
Ron Jeremy and Tammy Faye Bakker on The Surreal Life. Good TV.
386. JessicaRabbit said:
If Im in a hospice screw the sex books, send me the cute nurses for my spongebaths. I want some girl bending over me in white rubbing my old shriveled hiney to be the last thing I see.
Damn skippy.
(.)(.)
Not it.
387. JessicaRabbit said:
Susie, your right, that was a damn funny season, I loved when they went to the nudist camp, that cracked me up.
388. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
"rubbing my old shriveled hiney"
For some reason, that phrase made me remember that my wedding anniversary is on Friday.
*boom*
Okay, that lightning bolt was for me.
TAG (.)(.) - SOMEbody's it.
389. Susie said:
I loved how he was such a gentleman to her. A skanky-assed, nasty-looking, paunchy gentleman, but still...
390. Susie said:
BFE, I wondered about that. Are you sure you're legally wed? Did you choose April Fool's day so one of you could say, "Just kiddin'!" someday if it didn't work out?
391. JessicaRabbit said:
Did any of you ever see the documentary on Ron Jeremy, making of a porn legend or some such thing. Its hystercial, he is so cheap he wont buy luggage, he carries all his crap in shopping bags, and he is narcoleptic, they show him driving his mini van falling asleep at the wheel all the time.
Wont buy a suitcase, but will suck his own dick.
Ladies, what exactly does this say about men?
392. JessicaRabbit said:
(.)(.)
No tag backs.
393. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Susie - that absolutely played into our plans.
We kinda kept people guessing for a while if we were kidding or not, since only immediate family was at the wedding. It was fun!
394. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Shit, who's here to tag?
Susie!
(.)(.)
Now YOU're it.
395. Susie said:
Seriously, you two must have been very certain of each other, to do that. A lot of young brides would not have had the courage or the sense of humor to do that. I LIKE IT!
But I don't like when people get married on Halloween in costumes. Not that it's any of my damn business, but that shit ain't right.
396. Susie said:
1) I don't know how to play this tag.
2) The location of the alleged nipples is just way too sad and realistic. I decline.
397. JessicaRabbit said:
Susie, hahahaa I got married on halloween. Not in costume but, on Halloween, yep yep.
Course Im divorced now hahahahahaha.
398. JessicaRabbit said:
(o)(o)
Now they just look surprised.
399. Susie said:
I think it's the costume that bugs me more than the date. Like, get married as yo'SELF, OK? But just to be on the safe side, pick another holiday next time;)
400. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Kegel exercises are fun. You can do them when you are bored at work and no one knows why you are smiling.
Why is it that guys can't hold their pee mid-stream? Is it because they haven't evolved as much as we women have? I can start, stop, start, stop, start, start, stop.
401. JessicaRabbit said:
Susie, myself is pretty much everyone elses idea of a costume hahahaa.
Yeah next time, umm.. well see about that whole next time thing haha.
My kids did get dressed up after the ceremony and trick or treat the guests tho, it was a very informal wedding...
402. Ladymadaysia said:
Oh thank goodness I am not the only one who used to think that Steely Dan was just A person.
And one should remember, those similac bottles are for ORAL use only. Don't try sticking it up their nose or butts.
You made me laugh...bagel exercises...how do you do those? I bet doing those is a lot better than kegel.
You're hilarious.
403. Susie said:
Kids trick-or-treating, I like that. I like kids at weddings. People don't do that much.
Katiebbaw, you're just showin' off, now.
404. JessicaRabbit said:
Susie, people were giving them quarters and stuff, when it was all done they each had like 4 dollars in their pumpkins and when you are 4 and 5, you can buy the whole world with 4 dollars you know...
405. Sarah M said:
I love that photo. So pretty.
I had an MRI myself Heather not all that long ago, and i can promise you, i hated every moment of it. I almost wished they could have sedated me. Only i despise needles so i refused.
Brave Leta.
406. Levi C said:
when I was like 5 yrs old I kicked the nurse in the stomach whilst she was trying to stick me with a needle..
407. acb said:
Did you know that guys can do Kegels too? I'm taking a Human Sexuality class right now, and it seems that if everyone did their kegels, the world would be a happier place.
BTW, men find their kegel muscles the same way women do--stop peeing midstream. Your wang should move up and down a little bit. Yep. I said wang. Isn't it awesome that you can get from spring flowers to wang in just 410 comments?
408. kristine said:
stop peeing mid stream is me asking for a bladder infection.
409. Susie said:
hi, kristine, I think that's good advice.
acb, I had to laugh. I don't know if you've read the Bucky and Jessica show, but wang has done been here and left the building. I think Bucky referenced Ron Jeremy's apparent kegel competence.
410. AndreaBT said:
HOLY cow, what have I missed? Kegels and X-rated (or at least R) emoticons, some of which I wasn't even sure what they meant (and not sure I want to know...)
And it looks like the party is slowing down. Now that I'm here. Y'all knew I was comin', didn'tcha?
411. AndreaBT said:
And I can't stop peeing midstream anymore, at least not for more than half a second. I also nearly pee my pants laughing (literally, truly) every time I visit dooce.com. I really *should* practice those kegels...
412. Big Gay Sam said:
I just realized something. Dooce out-geeked a geek. She is now the ruler of her geekdom.
:oP
413. Sherri said:
Oh man, it's cold in here!
( ^ )( ^ )
414. JessicaRabbit said:
So cold your nipples fell off! Oh no!
415. Sherri said:
Darn, my little pointy up-carrot nipples didn't show up.
( o )( o )
416. Sherri said:
I guess a lot of my x-rated emoticons won't show up here because they use special characters. Oh well.
I remember having a lengthy IM session with a friend once and I think we came up with about 3 or 4 emoticons for just about every possible body part. Now that's some time well spent!
417. JessicaRabbit said:
Sherri I am so relieved! I was worried we were going to have to organize a search team for your nipples!
418. Tomomix said:
so glad to hear that Ms. Leta is doing FINE! good good good.
419. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Almost had to put those nipples on a milk carton...which has a cerain irony...
420. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, where has your punk ass been?
421. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Um, in *church* of course...
What?
422. JessicaRabbit said:
Oh ho! Just as I thought, off somewhere on your knees...
423. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
On my knees, praying I'll get my $2.
424. Tammy said:
You have like... plants. And flowers. And Stuff. BLOOMING. I'm SO jelous. It's still dead, dead DEAD here.
I'm glad Leta is just a stubborn girl and nothing else is amiss :) I wonder who she inherited it from. hmm...
425. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, damn it women, I told you I would pay up. I've got it here somewhere, in quarters, oh wait, here it is
( )@( )
Yeah, thats right, kiss it beotch. I got your 2 dollars right here!
426. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I never could resist an assful of quarters.
Is that in any way related to Fistful of Dollars?
427. Danni said:
In my language spring means 'jump'
428. JessicaRabbit said:
Bucky, are you accusing me of being some kind of money changer now?
Cause my ass is not your personal bank.
429. Henryk_ said:
Now lets see who is still up!
430. Henryk_ said:
Kerrisssssttttttttt...no one
431. JessicaRabbit said:
Not true, its so not even near my bedtime yet.
432. Henryk_ said:
Aha....a night stalker!
433. Henryk_ said:
Hot pink background??!!
434. Henryk_ said:
omg....you've been on since about 4pm
435. spoonleg said:
Mmmm, bagels. Wash 'em down with some glucose water. The breakfast of champions.
436. JessicaRabbit said:
Im off and on and off and on, blah blah blah, you know. I go to bed around 6 and get up around noon.
437. Henrykm_ said:
ahhhhh...a cyber gypsy!
438. Henryk_ said:
I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
439. Jme said:
I'm so happy about little stubborn Leta being fine. She's fine! :D
440. jax said:
I'm so glad that you've got a really healthy stubborn as hell baby Leta instead of a not-so-well lil angel.
You can breathe easy now Dooce:)
441. rich said:
Great! I am so happy you got the Good Nod from the Doc and all is well with Leta. Really, chokes me up that she is fine.
442. Spurious Plum said:
"But next time I might try bagel exercises instead."
NEXT TIME? Does this mean there's a Leta sequel in the works?
443. christi lee said:
Yeah Heather, did you mean next time, "next time"? Or did you just meam next time?
444. Liz Cadorette said:
SO happy for you to hear that Ms. Leta is well (albiet stubborn)!
Let's hear it for superior genetics kicking ass!
445. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Where's today's picture? Heather didn't post it at 4:00 a.m. today.
446. southern fried girl said:
I know - I may suffer from withdrawl. Or worse, have to work. Dear God.