I think anything w/ animals in clothing, talking, etc. is really funny. Everyone that usually comments must be being good on Good Friday. The reason I'm here commenting tells you that I'm not.
03.25.05 - 04:07 AM
11. Anna said:
Dooce, you rock my world! Thank you for sharing your life with us and not quitting when those wankers have given you a hard time. I've got this site on my bookmarks bar and get angsty if I can't get my daily fix. Thank you so much for this site! :)
(My parents' dog was Batman for Halloween. He was all embarassed, but boy did I find it amusing -- and our friends when we got back to France found the photos absolutely hilarious!)
I love my dooce. I do. However I am bewildered by the competition to get onto the top of the comment list. "Top 10? Yay! See ya." Is that the whole reason some people comment? Is there a prize I don't know about?
Anyway. I love pets in fake ears. We like the reindeer ears on the cat in our house.
And the kitty ears on the baby. Not that she's a pet.
03.25.05 - 05:32 AM
36. Justin said:
Lookin` good Chuck! Hi Heather, Jon, Leta and hi everyone else! I just discovered the site and I just gotta say real quick that I love it! Your writing and perspective on things reminds me of me!
Praise Chuck & Our Heavenly Father, the comments are back. LOVE those ears. (You can borrow them from him for PlayboyBunny escapades, too. If you were so inclined.) And, as far as I'm concerned, EVERY Friday is Good.
03.25.05 - 05:34 AM
38. anarchocyclist said:
God totally better post today. Unless he's too depressed about the whole crucifixion thing.
hey, happy easter everyone. to be honest, i just had breakfast with a few friends and we totally had to discuss what easter is anyway. none of us really knew. like, what jesus did today. did he die, or fly back to dead's or what. i know, we're bad..
03.25.05 - 05:46 AM
43. donni said:
march 24th entry- one of The Best in recent weeks. why? take a guess. (or don't!)
I had a cat when I was a kid and a yorkie, One hallowe'en I made them vampire capes (lined with red satin.. very nice!) but I used pipecleaners as arm straps for the cat to help keep it on.
Did it ever look hilarious when she chased the dog and her little cape was flapping behind her... then lunged at the dog's neck. I should have taken a video.
I also put the dog in a dress once.. and he would stand at the front window on his hind legs.. my mom said he looked like an ugly little girl.
Its the great Easter Chuck, Charlie Brown.... Hee hee.
03.25.05 - 06:13 AM
53. Michelle Brady said:
Reminds me of a Cadbury creme egg commercial. All these crazy animals have come in for Easter Bunny tryouts and this huge lion is laying there with bunny ears on, and when they give him his cue (he's supposed to cluck like a chicken) you just hear "GROWF!"
Does anybody else remember that commercial? Or am I caught in some kind of kooky 1980s time warp?
What a special treat for Chuck Friday! Chuck is beautiful! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We will behave!
Michelle Brady - They still play that commercial from time to time, and even have them for the caramel and chocolate creme eggs. And now I'll have to get me some Fruit & Nut bar which is sitting neglected in the kitchen.
Mouse's site has been MIA for a few days...its there, but all the entires are gone. I am concerned - maybe he is getting punished.
Chuck is such a good dog - does he ever get punished for being bad?
Happy Chuck Friday to all...are you all stuck at work today too?
I feel like my office is the only one open. The only good thing about this was the highways were deserted on my hour commute, so it was more relaxing than usual.
are you going to superimpose that photo against stock photography or is that only on halloween?
03.25.05 - 06:42 AM
73. brian said:
For the doocelings who want to put costumes on their feline buddies...
Such activities are a breach of kitty cat protocol. They will likely be met with hissing, growling, scratching and an assortment of spastic paw shakes.
03.25.05 - 06:43 AM
74. Jenny said:
In case you have wondered why you were put on earth, besides being a wonderful mother, wife, and friend (from what I can tell from your blogs) it is to make ppl laugh and know that life is what you make of it! You are a wonderful human being and thank you for being you.
No, you don't know me but you do make me laugh on a daily basis. For that I thank you!!
Love the rabbit ears! Hopefully they're QUALITY rabbit ears - I can only get three channels with mine.
03.25.05 - 06:59 AM
80. southern fried girl said:
That pic goes down as one of my all time favorites. I so love Chuck Fridays - especially when I am off work.
03.25.05 - 07:00 AM
81. Starla Dear said:
WinInc -- My dad thinks along the same lines as your mom. When we dress our Yorkie in her little Ralph Lauren polo shirt (the little horse is embroidered on the collar), my dad says she looks like the ugliest little kid he's seen. But she is a VERY cute dog, albeit not as well-behaved as the Former Congressman.
Found on another site and I know there are a LOT of parents here, so I figured it would be relevant. My take on this one is there is NO WAY the average adult could take 30 5-year olds without getting whacked.
and now for the original supposition:
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
The specifics:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
the magic number is 30, but upon reflection, I think it a no-win. How many could you take on?
You're so lucky that your dog lets you dress him up. Like that halloween costume. I once bought my beagle a costume...five minutes later he ripped the entire costume off. Rawr.
03.25.05 - 07:18 AM
89. Piggs fly said:
Well done, Chuck! I'm always amazed at any other dog's willingness to wear clothing or hats. My Weimaraner would need to be sedated prior to attempting anything this cute.
Hey Chuck, watch out for the chocolate, it makes dogs sick. Instead channel your inner wolf and eat that damn bunny. Just don't do it in front of Leta. Talk about years of therapy. My dog ate the Easter Bunny.
COMMENTS!!!! Oh, I thought I was going to go crazy. I started up a bad Fark habit in the meantime, what with no comments here and Mouse's page down. I also started my own blog (finally!!! woot!).
Speaking of Mouse...I'm hoping he'll come over and comment on Chuck's snazzy ears. I'm going to forget how to read Mouse-speak if he doesn't.
03.25.05 - 07:26 AM
99. Piggs fly said:
LOL Michelle. Best comment of the day - I can sign off now... thanks for the laugh.
03.25.05 - 07:27 AM
100. jess said:
chuck in bunny ears on the highest holy day!?! GENIUS!
my days are brighter with regular blurbodoocery. many, many thanks!
ps: my friend's mom was a playboy bunny in the late 60s. she was hot, but nothing comes close to chuck. where are his bustier, cuffs and bowtie?
leta will probably a track star (or really good at dodging cops) and when they do a "today show" piece on her you can reminisce about how she refused to crawl...
i'm still getting over the cyst picture. i may just cut off the finger that clicked on that link. damn the curiosity.
Am I the only one who recognized yesterday's picture as a human heart? Please say I'm not. Aren't there some medical types here to give me a hooyah? Spoonleg? Colleen?
Hey. This is the first time I have ever posted here. I have been reading Dooce everyday all day for the last month and I have successfully reached crazyperson status by reading every inch of this site. Dooce, you are the greatest blogger on earth. I wish you much happiness and success.
MRTL, I'm not a medical type, but hooyah to you. I thought the link was a joke.
First three comments: First!
Next few comments: Cute!
More comments: Damn, not first.
More: Really cute!
Then: What's the deal with the first thing?
And: Awww.
Finally: The good stuff--people talking amongst themselves.
VTOL, posting a picture of a dog in bunny ears titled "Happy Resurrection of Jesus Christ, WOOF!" isn't blasphemous enough for you? You make me laugh when I should be working.
Just thinkin'... If Jesus Christ came to earth today, would he have the traditional full beard and long hair? If so, he would TOTALLY not meet the Dress and Grooming Standards at BYU. Who’d be the one to tell him? “Better shave it off, dude. Beards are totally not acceptable, except for certified medical or religious reasons. Oh, and the hair's gotta go, too.â€
Cat...better send in a nomination to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for ol' J.C. now, that way he's all hip and fly when he arrives on the scene...Personally...I think he's going to skip BYU after that and head for a more with it place.
03.25.05 - 08:24 AM
129. Lauren From SC said:
Remember this post (from Jan.)?
When eating corn, one chews the outer skin, bursting it and expelling its contents into your mouth. While the contents are digested, the skin remains mostly intact, as it is strong enough to resist being broken down by the stomach acid. It passes into the intestines like a popped balloon only to fill up with fecal matter as it moves through the body into the colon. What appears as whole corn, raisins, what have you, is actually just the skin filled with poop. It’s like poop wearing a food costume.
The link to the Warning Picture was quite interesting, although it took me a few seconds to get up the nerve to click and go there.
I recognized and agree that it was not merely a cyst on a leg. A bit of detective work sent me to a medical school website, and That was a fine learning experience. I believe my Anatomy class credits transferred, so this was just sort of an interest from the dark side.
I think the post about Leta's athletic abilities was great!
Reading Dooce is always beneficial.
03.25.05 - 08:51 AM
139. mysteria said:
i love it! love the blog dooce.. gives me my daily dose of laughter!
03.25.05 - 08:59 AM
140. sillygrin said:
Yeah for Chuck Friday! and thank you, Heather, for sharing your life with us peanuts. I too am a new reader, never before poster.
oh, look. comments are back:)
Ruff!
Yup, it's starting. The cute baby words. You and Jon will remember them forever, and tell Leta about them. And when you two are old and Leta has put you in "the home," you'll be all, "Hand me the bedpan, pieces." "Dink oooo."
Oh thank God the comments are back. I was spending a lot of time trying to do something else on the internet instead of read the Dooce comments. Hmmmm....maybe I should have been doing something productive?
That wasn't a heart...was it? I didn't see any rib spreaders....
Chuck is the rockinest dog EVER. I'm totally trying to put a halo on one of the cats. Stay tuned for updates.
"This is a large cystic lesion which proved to be a benign right ovarian cyst. In fact there was also a left ovarian cyst which was only slightly smaller. Bilateral oophorectomy was performed."
dudette actually, or geekette as my buddy the author of that blog (i myself do not blog - I do not write well) points out...but after the cyst, i felt I had to contribute. we have a week of commenting to catch up on here.
coskel:
bachelor buttons, the one's I'm thinking of are wild flowers here, can be seeded in early in the fall or after frost in the spring.
zinnias need the ground temperature to be about 50F. My rule of thumb here in Seattle is Mothers Day. That's when temps usually are stable. Full sun exposure for both, be sure to use all purpose fertilzer on zinnias thru the summer for plenty of bang for your buck. Whitney Farms Rose and Flower is a great organic fertilizer.
Blanch some asparagus spears for 2mins or so and throw them into an ice bath. Get some nice black forest ham slices from the deli thin sliced but not too thin.
Smear cream cheese on the ham (delicately)and roll an asparagus spear up. cut into 1/2 inch pieces and stap with a toothpick.
yea, OK, thank you SubMis (ha, don't mean to imply anything about your "preferences," there;)), those are good, I can find those. Anybody else, ideas, recipes? And for those of you upset now because it's off-topic, and it's talking to one another, I know, but I just happened to see my brother in here, and I just happened to need a recipe, so, just chill.... there you go...
BTW, I would have said, all those days when comments were off, that the photo of Leta on the swing was perfection. Except that y'all put waaaay too much mascara on her;)
Susie - Someone once made these, and they were delicious: Cut up a fig into 4 parts. Smear some marscapone cheese on it. Wrap that in a thin strip of proscuttio, and tie it with a sliced green onion like a gift (perpindicularly and with a bow). Pretty and delicious!
another great way to do asparagus is to drizzle it with some olive oil and sprinkle kosher rock salt on and grill it. It will be gone in seconds, gauranteed. I serve it at parties in the spring and it's the first thing gone everytime.
Thank you, all. I'm good on main dishes, desserts, etc., but my appetizer repertoire could use some work. I have yummy ideas now, thanks to you kind commenters.
One ?, greenie, would prosciutto be as good as Black Forest ham?
Torrie, I start with extremities, and it doesn't matter which. Could be feet, could be ears, but the head is saved for last. Except if there's an actual eyeball, I have been known to bite that off early in the process.
And I start with the ears too. When I was a kid I felt sorry for the bunny and ate the head last, but as I got older, I started to realize **the headless bunny was looking at me as I ate it**. So the ears and head started going first.
Some people, I won't name names, prefer to lick the chocolate bunny's little implied genitals until Peter Rabbit melts in their mouth, not in their hands. I don't know *who* those people would be, though. Ahem.
Coskel, Jim and I just sat and watched the scissors video like five times. Thank you from the bottom of our juvenile hearts.
I have a new hobby. Since 3 a.m., because I had insomnia. And that hobby is, visiting favorite blogs, reading the comments, and choosing a phrase that just sort of stands out. Comment-phrase collecting, we'll call it. I started this morning with, "alas, I am drunk." I just added, "implied genitals."
especially when they make the eyes out of frostig- you just snap those little suckers off...
hey all..somewhat on topic- i.e., costumes for dogs. I do volunteer work and we have a fall festival- this year we are going to do dog costume parade...thoughts, anyone?
btw, bucky- you ever want to talk unix-speak - im your gal. podcasting is setting up a live radio broadcast over an iPod - my plan is to get my webcast and my podcast to sync up - I'm starting my own radio station this year, and yes, we will have a land station as well, and no it won't be classical, mostly indie rock. (well, maybe sunday morning clasical)
oh, shit - i just realized im replying to your email questions on dooce - duh - wtf.
no, I can do both, I guess. Maybe sometime. Anybody can do either of those things. Might be fun to see what poems people make up using selected comment phrases. Maybe a day for that? Just thinking "out loud."
CM, easy with the "do it!"s, that sounds just a little bit naughty;)
You have lots of poetic stuff. All words are poetic when they're assembled in just the right way. Not that I know from poetry; I just know that certain groups of words tickle me, and I like to play with them...
1. amanda said:
#1! cute chuck!
2. Dee said:
CUTE!
3. Ramon said:
low low number... and wait... is that the Easter Doggie?
4. Kellie said:
Cute!!!!
(Whoa, how did I get in under 50?)
5. SharonO said:
O.M.G. It's the Easter Chuckie. And here I thought that was a MYTH!
6. Nita said:
early bird
7. Nita said:
Chucky wants a peep?
8. dewi said:
Your writing is so funny you crack me up every single day!
What a sweet little bunnydog.
I loved the post about leta realizing she can cross the invisible line into the other rooms.
9. saralynnmo said:
holy crap, top 10!
10. acukiki said:
I think anything w/ animals in clothing, talking, etc. is really funny. Everyone that usually comments must be being good on Good Friday. The reason I'm here commenting tells you that I'm not.
11. Anna said:
Dooce, you rock my world! Thank you for sharing your life with us and not quitting when those wankers have given you a hard time. I've got this site on my bookmarks bar and get angsty if I can't get my daily fix. Thank you so much for this site! :)
12. kim said:
I love it!
(My parents' dog was Batman for Halloween. He was all embarassed, but boy did I find it amusing -- and our friends when we got back to France found the photos absolutely hilarious!)
13. Barn said:
"and our friends when we got back to France found the photos absolutely hilarious!"-- of FRANCE!!!
14. Adrienne said:
I tried putting one of those on my cats. The doctor said my arm should heal in 2 - 4 weeks.
15. RyanH said:
Happy Good Friday, Chuck!
16. Brigitte said:
So very very cute.
17. Stacey said:
You must hold a treat out to get him to sit so rigidly. Or maybe he's just one well-behaved dog.
18. Tam said:
Resurrection.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I can't help it.
19. Bonnie said:
It's the Easter Not-Beagle, Charlie Brown!
20. t said:
Chuck!
21. Jess said:
Chuck Friday! Woot! His ears look good for licking.
22. Gretchen said:
Baby Jesus cries when we misspell "Resurrection". Bow wow....
23. Vanessa_AR said:
Happy Easter to Chuck!
24. coskel said:
I have always wanted to get my cat to wear a costume - anyone out there have any luck?
25. Me said:
It's a Good Chucky Friday to all...
26. Lisa S said:
Woof Chuck! Happy They-Killed-You-But-You-Came-Back-Anyway Day!
Who gets a bigger Easter basket this year, Chuck or Leta?
27. dvm said:
wow top 26! cute chuck.
28. Danielle said:
Top 30 isn't bad.
29. squirll said:
happy egg hunting chuck! dont eat the chocolate eggs!
30. koof said:
chuckles! what have they done to you?!
31. kalki said:
Chuck AND comments? It is Good Friday!
32. Justin Ward said:
I think I need to start photoblogging my cat, Lucas. My friend, Quinn, has already started abusing his cat.
33. laura said:
i wish i could dress my cat up like that--he can barely stand his collar.
34. Paul said:
Oh the humiliation - all done to humor our owners - Woof indeed chuck - your friends at the corner hydrant will never let this be!
35. Summer said:
I love my dooce. I do. However I am bewildered by the competition to get onto the top of the comment list. "Top 10? Yay! See ya." Is that the whole reason some people comment? Is there a prize I don't know about?
Anyway. I love pets in fake ears. We like the reindeer ears on the cat in our house.
And the kitty ears on the baby. Not that she's a pet.
36. Justin said:
Lookin` good Chuck! Hi Heather, Jon, Leta and hi everyone else! I just discovered the site and I just gotta say real quick that I love it! Your writing and perspective on things reminds me of me!
37. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Praise Chuck & Our Heavenly Father, the comments are back. LOVE those ears. (You can borrow them from him for PlayboyBunny escapades, too. If you were so inclined.) And, as far as I'm concerned, EVERY Friday is Good.
38. anarchocyclist said:
God totally better post today. Unless he's too depressed about the whole crucifixion thing.
39. n said:
nice ears chuck! great vacation pics dooce! oh and you need to teach leta "olly olly oxon free" then she has to come out of hiding!
40. laurenbove said:
aww... he looks so cute and kinda humiliated at the same time. Happy Goof Friday Everybunny!
41. Jen in Boston said:
Everyone needs an Easter Doggie! He's so cute, I could eat him.
42. kimba said:
hey, happy easter everyone. to be honest, i just had breakfast with a few friends and we totally had to discuss what easter is anyway. none of us really knew. like, what jesus did today. did he die, or fly back to dead's or what. i know, we're bad..
43. donni said:
march 24th entry- one of The Best in recent weeks. why? take a guess. (or don't!)
44. Flare said:
Gosh, that's freaking cute!
45. AKA Megan said:
No way! I actually made it in under 50??!!
Nice Chuck pic! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
46. romy said:
love it. happy annunciation day! :)
47. WinInc said:
I had a cat when I was a kid and a yorkie, One hallowe'en I made them vampire capes (lined with red satin.. very nice!) but I used pipecleaners as arm straps for the cat to help keep it on.
Did it ever look hilarious when she chased the dog and her little cape was flapping behind her... then lunged at the dog's neck. I should have taken a video.
I also put the dog in a dress once.. and he would stand at the front window on his hind legs.. my mom said he looked like an ugly little girl.
48. redsaid said:
Awww, an Easter Doggie on Parade. Ruff it!
49. Ronny said:
nice rabbit!
50. Squirl said:
RUFF!
51. Library Girl said:
It's Easter Chuck!!!
52. AndiMAC said:
Its the great Easter Chuck, Charlie Brown.... Hee hee.
53. Michelle Brady said:
Reminds me of a Cadbury creme egg commercial. All these crazy animals have come in for Easter Bunny tryouts and this huge lion is laying there with bunny ears on, and when they give him his cue (he's supposed to cluck like a chicken) you just hear "GROWF!"
Does anybody else remember that commercial? Or am I caught in some kind of kooky 1980s time warp?
54. the niffer said:
I'm sure Mouse will have something to say about us finding humour at Chuck's expense. Forgive us Mouse, it's just much too fun.
This totally makes me think that if the Velveteen Rabbit really did come to life, this is what he'd look like.
55. Michelle Brady said:
And actually, wouldn't technically be "Happy Murder of Jesus Christ" Day?
Just askin.
56. Mallie said:
Too cute. Best Chuck photo, ever!
The colors in the rabbit ears really pop out against the browns and beiges.
57. Libraryhill said:
Chuck is such a good sport. Make sure he gets a BIG treat for that one. I want a Chuck.
58. Melanie S. said:
Leta, beware of the "chocolate" Eatser Eggs!
Happy Easter BlurboDoocery!
59. annabelle said:
what has been going on this week? This is the first time we've been able to post, correct?
60. geeky said:
is the Easter Chuckie going to leave us Easter Eggs? :D
61. Melanie S. said:
GEORGE! is coming back to our house tonight. That makes 3 nights this week!!! He's cutting down our tree with Peter.
I'm going to be taking stalker-like pics for all of the ladies!
62. LadyBug said:
Chuck!
And comments!
Too. much. excitement. System. Overload.
Oh my God, I think I just peed my self a little.
Thanks, Dooce, for re-opening comments. Big smooches for you. MWAH!
Now, everyone, please, let's be on our very bestest behavior today, 'kay?
63. August95 said:
Yeah, Easter Chuck. Great picture, oh and welcome home.
64. erin said:
How in the world did you get Chuck to agree to bunny ears? Pop-Tarts?
(love the blog, dooce! keep it up!)
65. Colleen from NJ said:
wow.
aren't bunny ears kind of...sensual?
66. Sherri Jackson said:
What I want to know is, what kind of sedatives to you feed Chuck to get him to stay in these costumes?
Have he and Leta started having races around the house yet?
67. mrtl said:
What a special treat for Chuck Friday! Chuck is beautiful! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We will behave!
Michelle Brady - They still play that commercial from time to time, and even have them for the caramel and chocolate creme eggs. And now I'll have to get me some Fruit & Nut bar which is sitting neglected in the kitchen.
68. coskel said:
Mouse's site has been MIA for a few days...its there, but all the entires are gone. I am concerned - maybe he is getting punished.
Chuck is such a good dog - does he ever get punished for being bad?
69. Sarah said:
Happy Chuck Friday to all...are you all stuck at work today too?
I feel like my office is the only one open. The only good thing about this was the highways were deserted on my hour commute, so it was more relaxing than usual.
70. honestyrain said:
and the masses sighed a heavy sigh of ever lovin' relief.
did you hear it? for it must have been loud.
71. kEma said:
hahahaha this is smashing
72. Denise said:
chuck!
are you going to superimpose that photo against stock photography or is that only on halloween?
73. brian said:
For the doocelings who want to put costumes on their feline buddies...
Such activities are a breach of kitty cat protocol. They will likely be met with hissing, growling, scratching and an assortment of spastic paw shakes.
74. Jenny said:
In case you have wondered why you were put on earth, besides being a wonderful mother, wife, and friend (from what I can tell from your blogs) it is to make ppl laugh and know that life is what you make of it! You are a wonderful human being and thank you for being you.
No, you don't know me but you do make me laugh on a daily basis. For that I thank you!!
75. Ada said:
should i be ashamed to admit i have ears just like that - and a matching skirt and thong?
76. Heather said:
Chuck as the Baby J. Take that shit to the Manti Pageant!!
77. kieran said:
Bunny ears on a dog! OMFG BUNNY EARS...ON...A....DOG!!! THAT IS INSANE! HOLY SHIT THAT IS NUTS!!!!
BUNNY EARS!
ON A DOG!!!
Do you people even understand the level of humor there? DOGS DONT HAVE BUNNY EARS! OMG!!!!!!!!! STOP THE INSANITY!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH BUNNY EARS NOT ON A BUNNY BUT ON A DOG!!!
78. Ana said:
Too fucking funny.
79. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Love the rabbit ears! Hopefully they're QUALITY rabbit ears - I can only get three channels with mine.
80. southern fried girl said:
That pic goes down as one of my all time favorites. I so love Chuck Fridays - especially when I am off work.
81. Starla Dear said:
WinInc -- My dad thinks along the same lines as your mom. When we dress our Yorkie in her little Ralph Lauren polo shirt (the little horse is embroidered on the collar), my dad says she looks like the ugliest little kid he's seen. But she is a VERY cute dog, albeit not as well-behaved as the Former Congressman.
82. amanda said:
Ha Ha!! Happy Easter, Chuck!!
83. coskel said:
Found on another site and I know there are a LOT of parents here, so I figured it would be relevant. My take on this one is there is NO WAY the average adult could take 30 5-year olds without getting whacked.
and now for the original supposition:
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
The specifics:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
the magic number is 30, but upon reflection, I think it a no-win. How many could you take on?
silly and NOT REAL, ok, people?
84. lawbrat said:
I havent read comments yet...but YEAH! Comments!
85. Stacy said:
CHUCK!
I would totally buy an Easter card with that on the front.
Coskel, I would curl up in a fetal position within five minutes, begging for Xanax and beer.
86. that-andrea said:
Ohhh, it's a Good Friday indeed!
Love the Chuck!
87. that-andrea said:
PS - I just played this game the other day and totally won. I kicked 20 little asses. Victory!
88. Steph said:
You're so lucky that your dog lets you dress him up. Like that halloween costume. I once bought my beagle a costume...five minutes later he ripped the entire costume off. Rawr.
89. Piggs fly said:
Well done, Chuck! I'm always amazed at any other dog's willingness to wear clothing or hats. My Weimaraner would need to be sedated prior to attempting anything this cute.
90. coskel said:
Stacy- LOL!!!
that-andrea: i bow to your superior-ness.
91. Cap'n said:
Oh thank god. When I saw the pinks and fleshtones in the thumbnail, I thought it was going to be more cyst pictures.
Which, by the way, almost made me lose my lunch yesterday.
92. Shelli said:
his tapitum is showing... :)
93. jes said:
when i get my pup, i am SO dressing him up in costumes!
and then, my friends and i can have puppy parties with costumes. them, not us.
well, maybe not us. ;)
94. Piggs fly said:
Coskel, it sounds more like an old Chris Farley movie idea....
95. Kaiasmom said:
Comments!! Woot! Love the Chuckster!!!
96. Lisa V said:
Hey Chuck, watch out for the chocolate, it makes dogs sick. Instead channel your inner wolf and eat that damn bunny. Just don't do it in front of Leta. Talk about years of therapy. My dog ate the Easter Bunny.
97. Michelle said:
Passion of the Chuck
98. AndreaBT said:
COMMENTS!!!! Oh, I thought I was going to go crazy. I started up a bad Fark habit in the meantime, what with no comments here and Mouse's page down. I also started my own blog (finally!!! woot!).
Speaking of Mouse...I'm hoping he'll come over and comment on Chuck's snazzy ears. I'm going to forget how to read Mouse-speak if he doesn't.
99. Piggs fly said:
LOL Michelle. Best comment of the day - I can sign off now... thanks for the laugh.
100. jess said:
chuck in bunny ears on the highest holy day!?! GENIUS!
my days are brighter with regular blurbodoocery. many, many thanks!
ps: my friend's mom was a playboy bunny in the late 60s. she was hot, but nothing comes close to chuck. where are his bustier, cuffs and bowtie?
101. lallaloolly said:
leta will probably a track star (or really good at dodging cops) and when they do a "today show" piece on her you can reminisce about how she refused to crawl...
i'm still getting over the cyst picture. i may just cut off the finger that clicked on that link. damn the curiosity.
102. Brooklyn Julie said:
Yay, Chuckalicious Good Friday!!
And he doesn't look as miserable as he normally does when he's been dressed up. Was there a treat being held off camera?
103. deleted said:
Aw...Chuck is hilarious!
104. Teresa said:
I think that dog gets cuter every time I see him...he made my morning :)
105. coskel said:
yeah, i could see chris farley totally surrounded by 5-yers olds...
and yes, thank you michelle :)
106. mrtl said:
Am I the only one who recognized yesterday's picture as a human heart? Please say I'm not. Aren't there some medical types here to give me a hooyah? Spoonleg? Colleen?
107. mrtl said:
Oh wait (thinking of lightbulb removal and spelunking), both of them are ass women. No?
108. greenthumb said:
BAWK! BAWK! Thank you EASTER BUNNY!!!
109. mish said:
i wish you had open comments for your last photo. that one was my favorite by far. beautiful!
110. Gooooder said:
finally comments.
and woot to easter chuck!
111. sharina said:
Hey. This is the first time I have ever posted here. I have been reading Dooce everyday all day for the last month and I have successfully reached crazyperson status by reading every inch of this site. Dooce, you are the greatest blogger on earth. I wish you much happiness and success.
MRTL, I'm not a medical type, but hooyah to you. I thought the link was a joke.
112. mrtl said:
no no no - I knew that was a chapel of some sort. I was talking about the other yesterday's picture. I will now work. Good Day.
113. TracyDee said:
He's so cute as a bunny =:)
114. Dawners said:
Greenthumb - you beat me to it! Was that an old M&M's commercial for Easter?
I loves me some Chuck.
115. lavonne said:
First three comments: First!
Next few comments: Cute!
More comments: Damn, not first.
More: Really cute!
Then: What's the deal with the first thing?
And: Awww.
Finally: The good stuff--people talking amongst themselves.
116. greenthumb said:
DAwners: Yes, it was...my fave easter spot.
117. Kassi said:
I so totally knew that the photo was not a cyst from Heather's knee..unless she has particularly hairy legs.
118. VTOL said:
What, no swipe at Mormons today? Or were you waiting for General Conference next week?
119. Honey Bunny said:
i ♥ chuck! happy resurrection of christ to you, too!
120. mrtl said:
VTOL, posting a picture of a dog in bunny ears titled "Happy Resurrection of Jesus Christ, WOOF!" isn't blasphemous enough for you? You make me laugh when I should be working.
p.s. Good luck in the marathon!
121. Honey Bunny said:
oh, and i couldn't bear to click on your oozing sore link...even if it wasn't you.
*shudder*
122. Wicked H said:
Yay, it's the Chuckster Bunny!!!
Happy Easter one and all, hope the Easter Buny is good to all of you.
123. cat said:
Just thinkin'... If Jesus Christ came to earth today, would he have the traditional full beard and long hair? If so, he would TOTALLY not meet the Dress and Grooming Standards at BYU. Who’d be the one to tell him? “Better shave it off, dude. Beards are totally not acceptable, except for certified medical or religious reasons. Oh, and the hair's gotta go, too.â€
124. Lala said:
May Chuck get many many treats for wearing those ears, or at least big tips. He does serve good martini, doesn't he?
125. VTOL said:
mrtl, thank you. Low grade blasphemy has ceased to be entertaining. Now making fun of minority religions, that's funny!
126. cat said:
Hey! I resemble that remark!
127. Cate said:
I am now all acquiver with anticipation - what goodies will Dooce have for us on Conference weekend?
128. greenthumb said:
Cat...better send in a nomination to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for ol' J.C. now, that way he's all hip and fly when he arrives on the scene...Personally...I think he's going to skip BYU after that and head for a more with it place.
129. Lauren From SC said:
Remember this post (from Jan.)?
When eating corn, one chews the outer skin, bursting it and expelling its contents into your mouth. While the contents are digested, the skin remains mostly intact, as it is strong enough to resist being broken down by the stomach acid. It passes into the intestines like a popped balloon only to fill up with fecal matter as it moves through the body into the colon. What appears as whole corn, raisins, what have you, is actually just the skin filled with poop. It’s like poop wearing a food costume.
My point? Chuck is cuter.than.that.
130. cat said:
Wait, VTOL, were you serious? Are you LDS? I wasn't making fun of the religion, I was making swipes at the INSTITUTION. See? All better?
131. song said:
It's just not easter until you've seen a dog with bunny ears. Or a former congressman with bunny ears for that matter. Happy Easter everyone
I have been on a sojourn to the freo psychiatric clinic. they gave me lots of drugs but no beer. I hope everyone missed me.
Heather, that pus filled lance looks really really painful
132. VTOL said:
One thing I love about the internet is the ability to hide the true meaning of your words. It's like it was created by a politician.
133. Mom23nCuga said:
This is one of your best! ROFLMAO
I love Chuck and dressed as a bunny...well, does it get any better than this! HAHA
134. Andrea in Canada said:
happy returning of comments day AND chuck friday! what a great day this is!
love the bunny ears on chuck. i should get some for MY chuck...hmm...
135. Torrie said:
OH Heavenly Comments!
I am so happy I am crying.
136. april said:
chuck makes the lovliest of dogbunnies!
137. Texas Andi said:
Love the bunny ears!
138. MrsDoF said:
The link to the Warning Picture was quite interesting, although it took me a few seconds to get up the nerve to click and go there.
I recognized and agree that it was not merely a cyst on a leg. A bit of detective work sent me to a medical school website, and That was a fine learning experience. I believe my Anatomy class credits transferred, so this was just sort of an interest from the dark side.
I think the post about Leta's athletic abilities was great!
Reading Dooce is always beneficial.
139. mysteria said:
i love it! love the blog dooce.. gives me my daily dose of laughter!
140. sillygrin said:
Yeah for Chuck Friday! and thank you, Heather, for sharing your life with us peanuts. I too am a new reader, never before poster.
141. rainsdance said:
::squeak:: Why is it that pictures of doggies with things on their heads inspire me to baby talk?
Whatacwutewiddleeastewpuppychuckles!
142. Reluctant Superstar said:
thanks A LOT for the link to the wound site... it keeps drawing me there, but i am too much of a pussy to click anything.
143. LadyBug said:
Awww, Dooce, my heart melted a little when I read "Dink Oooo." What a cutie-patootie Leta is.
144. greenthumb said:
Dink ooo for the comments today.
145. Susie said:
oh, look. comments are back:)
Ruff!
Yup, it's starting. The cute baby words. You and Jon will remember them forever, and tell Leta about them. And when you two are old and Leta has put you in "the home," you'll be all, "Hand me the bedpan, pieces." "Dink oooo."
146. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
Oh thank God the comments are back. I was spending a lot of time trying to do something else on the internet instead of read the Dooce comments. Hmmmm....maybe I should have been doing something productive?
That wasn't a heart...was it? I didn't see any rib spreaders....
Chuck is the rockinest dog EVER. I'm totally trying to put a halo on one of the cats. Stay tuned for updates.
147. coskel said:
For those of you who didn't get quite enough medical ickyness yesterday:
http://blog.sentientcreations.com/
1st post, folks.
148. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
AH-HA!
http://www.edu.rcsed.ac.uk/photoalbum/ph142.htm
"This is a large cystic lesion which proved to be a benign right ovarian cyst. In fact there was also a left ovarian cyst which was only slightly smaller. Bilateral oophorectomy was performed."
149. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
I think "oophorectomy" is now my favorite word.
150. mrtl said:
I retract my hoorah. Now I'm just stunned. That thing looks like it should be beating. Oophorectomy indeed. Thank you S*M for that clarification.
151. Shawna said:
Ha! I'd forgotten it was Friday (feels like Saturday 'cause of the day off) until I saw that Chuck was featured...
152. Mamaramma said:
The resurrection of the comments in time for the resurrection of Christ - perfect! Chuck, you are bunny-licious.
153. greenthumb said:
coskel...that was so tripped out dude. Nasty.
154. coskel said:
dudette actually, or geekette as my buddy the author of that blog (i myself do not blog - I do not write well) points out...but after the cyst, i felt I had to contribute. we have a week of commenting to catch up on here.
155. coskel said:
oh hey, greenthumb, you would be the one to ask...zinnias and bachelor buttons in southeast Michigan - any tips?
156. greenthumb said:
coskel:
bachelor buttons, the one's I'm thinking of are wild flowers here, can be seeded in early in the fall or after frost in the spring.
zinnias need the ground temperature to be about 50F. My rule of thumb here in Seattle is Mothers Day. That's when temps usually are stable. Full sun exposure for both, be sure to use all purpose fertilzer on zinnias thru the summer for plenty of bang for your buck. Whitney Farms Rose and Flower is a great organic fertilizer.
157. greenthumb said:
and I usually buy zinnia starts from the Garden Center, but you can start them from seed now, indoors.
158. Susie said:
hey, greenie, you know your way around a kitchen. You got any very impressive, but easy appetizers appropriate for Easter dinner?
159. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
I'm totally jumping in on this recipe thing:
Hot artichoke dip
Cheese straws
Ham croquettes
160. greenthumb said:
Susie...
Blanch some asparagus spears for 2mins or so and throw them into an ice bath. Get some nice black forest ham slices from the deli thin sliced but not too thin.
Smear cream cheese on the ham (delicately)and roll an asparagus spear up. cut into 1/2 inch pieces and stap with a toothpick.
161. mrtl said:
greenthumb - you ARE the new Martha.
162. Spurious Plum said:
Hooray!!!!
Comments just in time for Chuck!
163. Susie said:
yea, OK, thank you SubMis (ha, don't mean to imply anything about your "preferences," there;)), those are good, I can find those. Anybody else, ideas, recipes? And for those of you upset now because it's off-topic, and it's talking to one another, I know, but I just happened to see my brother in here, and I just happened to need a recipe, so, just chill.... there you go...
BTW, I would have said, all those days when comments were off, that the photo of Leta on the swing was perfection. Except that y'all put waaaay too much mascara on her;)
164. Susie said:
greenie, my darling, you won't believe this, but I was just WISHIN for something to do with my asparagus. How 'bout that?
165. Mamaramma said:
Susie - Someone once made these, and they were delicious: Cut up a fig into 4 parts. Smear some marscapone cheese on it. Wrap that in a thin strip of proscuttio, and tie it with a sliced green onion like a gift (perpindicularly and with a bow). Pretty and delicious!
166. greenthumb said:
another great way to do asparagus is to drizzle it with some olive oil and sprinkle kosher rock salt on and grill it. It will be gone in seconds, gauranteed. I serve it at parties in the spring and it's the first thing gone everytime.
167. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
greenie: we do that, too, sometimes under the broiler. DE-LISH.
168. donni said:
YAY. two in a row. way to go, dooce!!!
169. Susie said:
Thank you, all. I'm good on main dishes, desserts, etc., but my appetizer repertoire could use some work. I have yummy ideas now, thanks to you kind commenters.
One ?, greenie, would prosciutto be as good as Black Forest ham?
170. greenthumb said:
oh I would think that would be excellent.
171. Cate said:
Y'all are making me hungry. For asparagus of all things.
172. greenthumb said:
what time should we be there Susie? Shall I bring dessert?
173. Susie said:
Thank you, love. Stop by my place and get a coconut nest when you can. And some milk.
174. greenthumb said:
I love how asparagus makes your pee stinky. I'm such a dork.
175. Susie said:
You just couldn't stop while it was NICE. And dignified, couldja? Noooooo, you had to go for the stinky pee, didn'tcha?
DOOCE COMMENTS ARE BACK!!!!
176. Torrie said:
Here's a question....
How do you eat your chocolate Easter bunnies?
Which part do you bite into first?
177. greenthumb said:
I tried...I REALLY tried to keep that one in...but it was hurting to much, like when you hold in a fart too long...oh christ I did it again.
178. suburban*misfit (aka cmj) said:
The ears go first.
179. kat said:
ah he looks so happy. or rather, "what the heck is on my head?!"
180. greenthumb said:
I melt mine down for fondue
181. shelly said:
I showed pix of Chuck to my daughter who is 4 yrs old.She thinks Chuck is so cute! But keeps telling me that Chuck Grew those Bunny Ears!
182. Susie said:
Torrie, I start with extremities, and it doesn't matter which. Could be feet, could be ears, but the head is saved for last. Except if there's an actual eyeball, I have been known to bite that off early in the process.
183. mrtl said:
I go for the head first via the ears. If I discover it's one of those weak-assed hollow bunnies, the next thing done is total demolition.
184. AndreaBT said:
greenthumb, way to get comments back on track. Thumbs up!
185. AndreaBT said:
And I start with the ears too. When I was a kid I felt sorry for the bunny and ate the head last, but as I got older, I started to realize **the headless bunny was looking at me as I ate it**. So the ears and head started going first.
186. jules said:
i want to balance a pizzelle on his snout. and he'll be all like, wtf is this frilly frisbee doing on my frickin nose
187. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Some people, I won't name names, prefer to lick the chocolate bunny's little implied genitals until Peter Rabbit melts in their mouth, not in their hands. I don't know *who* those people would be, though. Ahem.
Coskel, Jim and I just sat and watched the scissors video like five times. Thank you from the bottom of our juvenile hearts.
188. Sweetie said:
He has his Sweet Face on!
189. Susie said:
I have a new hobby. Since 3 a.m., because I had insomnia. And that hobby is, visiting favorite blogs, reading the comments, and choosing a phrase that just sort of stands out. Comment-phrase collecting, we'll call it. I started this morning with, "alas, I am drunk." I just added, "implied genitals."
190. coskel said:
especially when they make the eyes out of frostig- you just snap those little suckers off...
hey all..somewhat on topic- i.e., costumes for dogs. I do volunteer work and we have a fall festival- this year we are going to do dog costume parade...thoughts, anyone?
191. mrtl said:
Susie, are you going to make up another story with the comments you collect? Please Please??
192. Torrie said:
Bucky, you sick, sick bitch. Welcome back.
193. Susie said:
mrtl, just between you and me, I was thinking maybe a poem with those phrases. Or maybe even a blog scavenger hunt. Whaddya think?
194. Torrie said:
Flickr has a "Dogs in costumes" group.
195. Hunzer said:
Holy crap ~ It's Good Friday? I need to pay closer attention to shit.
I *heart* the dog. :) I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that gets attacked by her spawn over pop tarts.
196. mrtl said:
Susie - a scavenger hunt sounds hella fun, but I'd be interested in seeing you put a poem together. Does it have to be one or the other?
197. coskel said:
btw, bucky- you ever want to talk unix-speak - im your gal. podcasting is setting up a live radio broadcast over an iPod - my plan is to get my webcast and my podcast to sync up - I'm starting my own radio station this year, and yes, we will have a land station as well, and no it won't be classical, mostly indie rock. (well, maybe sunday morning clasical)
oh, shit - i just realized im replying to your email questions on dooce - duh - wtf.
198. Susie said:
no, I can do both, I guess. Maybe sometime. Anybody can do either of those things. Might be fun to see what poems people make up using selected comment phrases. Maybe a day for that? Just thinking "out loud."
199. Closet Metro said:
Do it Susie, do it!
*wishing I has written something remotely poetic on my blog*
200. mrtl said:
Sounds like fun, Susie!
201. Jennifer said:
Happy bunny day!!
202. Susie said:
CM, easy with the "do it!"s, that sounds just a little bit naughty;)
You have lots of poetic stuff. All words are poetic when they're assembled in just the right way. Not that I know from poetry; I just know that certain groups of words tickle me, and I like to play with them...
203. mrtl said:
"I like to play with them" should be added to your list.