Little baby Stevie
My friend, Kelly, had her third baby a few weeks ago. I honestly can't remember Leta ever being this small and it's only been a year.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
301. CanadianAmy said:
Ah the poor cod.
302. Strizz said:
He could have made his point just as well by saying "use a jimmy hat"
303. Nilbo said:
Heeheehee, yeah, can you see the cod wrinkling its nose and going "Time for a bath, d'ya think?"
304. Nilbo said:
But what if he doesn't call his "Jimmy"?
305. Torrie said:
Nilbo, I'm blushing.
306. Strizz said:
jimmy is universal
307. Nilbo said:
Well, as long as you're already blushing, let me say some of your photos are REALLY arresting ... I LOVE the coloured French roof tiles and the lighthouse stairwell ... just mesmerizing, both of them .. good work :)
308. Strizz said:
I favorited Torries san fran flowers, glorious
309. Torrie said:
Wow, now I'm blushing in other places.
310. Cristin said:
ball sack? MATerbate? frustrated much greenie?
:P
311. CanadianAmy said:
Yes, Torrie, I love the picasso museum picture.
312. Strizz said:
lmao
i fucking hate blogger. i want to slap blogger like a red headed fucking step child and then step on its cake, while its ice cream melts all over the floor. then i want to use the last of the toilet paper right when blogger gets the runs.
313. Nilbo said:
Then my work here is complete ... an all-over-blush-inducing good job, says I (dusting hands off)
314. CanadianAmy said:
And STrizz, that picture of your two girls, baby Margi looks like a porcelain doll.
And um, your eyebrows look like porcelain doll eyebrows too.
315. Torrie said:
OH MY GOD. What did I do to deserve all of this love? You guys are making my day.
316. AndreaBT said:
strizz, why dont'cha tell us how you really feel?
317. Torrie said:
BTW, my camera is broken and I can't afford to get it fixed or buy a new one.
Can you feel my pain?
318. Strizz said:
Canam I love that pic, I have it as an 8x10 at home
ugh at the brows, there was a BIT more to them than that...hahaha
319. CanadianAmy said:
Strizz, why'd ya have to say red headed? My lucy is red headed. Why don't people like the red heads?
320. AndreaBT said:
torrie, totaly. been there. tried ebay?
321. Nilbo said:
I don't know that anyone needs to deserve love, Torrie. It's free, we all have unlimited supply ... and it feels good to pass it along. I'm just as generous with my teasing, too. But hey, truth is truth - I like your photos, I assume you hope people will appreciate them, too ... and so, I tell you. Simple.
But you're cute when you blush ... so I get that from the whole deal, so it's win/win. :)
322. Strizz said:
Canam, I am redheaded and a stepchild. I figure I might as well start slapping meself. Ok, so I am more auburn (naturally)...when I get out in the sun (remember that bright warm thing?) I get all red.
323. Torrie said:
Can't even afford Ebay.
:(
324. AndreaBT said:
bummer...:(
325. Strizz said:
thats sad, hahaha (sorry!)
326. AndreaBT said:
Hello?
(echoechoechoecho...)
327. Strizz said:
im still pissed at blogger
328. Nilbo said:
Still here, Andrea. i thought my niceness drove everyone off ...
329. AndreaBT said:
What's up, strizz? are they still having problems with comments?
330. AndreaBT said:
niceness never drives me off
331. Torrie said:
I FIXED MY CAMERA! I FIXED MY CAMERA!
OH JOYOUS WORLD!
332. Strizz said:
torrie, did you put batteries in it?
andrea, no I couldnt post or whatever. grr. And I want a new template and I don't know how.
333. AndreaBT said:
Strizz, laughing out loud (really) at your question for Torrie :)
How *did* you fix it, Torrie?
334. Strizz said:
heh
335. Torrie said:
Strizz, I was all "fuck this, I'm going to MAKE this motherfucker work" and I hit it a couple of times, put new batteries in, and viola!
It has been broken for like three months.
I swear it was all of the doocelings good energy.
336. Torrie said:
I used to have a camera in high school that everytime you wanted to take a picture you had to slam it into the wall first.
337. AndreaBT said:
My dad fixed his camera in a similar way, by whacking it against something. Seems he found a helpful website that suggested as much.
My grandma up in heaven was probably laughing. We always used to make fun of her for hitting the side of the TV when the picture was acting up.
338. Cristin said:
Torrie, I had a dorm - room phone like that, had to slam it on the desk before we could answer
339. Strizz said:
dude, you just needed new batteries. lmao (ok so maybe I chuckled silently)
I dropped my camera way back when so now I have to smack it around sometimes.
340. Torrie said:
All right folks, I've got to run.
It's time for me to lick my camera whilst watching Jepordy.
341. Strizz said:
ooh Im going to watch the Amazing Race tonight. I love Romber.
342. Torrie said:
Jeopardy.
I'm obviously going to do very well.
343. AndreaBT said:
Romber, heheh...is that like Benifer?
344. Nilbo said:
Yeah, Romber rock! And that old lady? She has got to DIE with that voice ...
345. AndreaBT said:
ok, so my 3 month old is totally giggling at my husband making silly noises at her. *TOO CUTE* little babies learning how to laugh are the *best*
346. AndreaBT said:
i didn't want all of that in bold, but ok, whatever...
347. Nilbo said:
God, I can't even remember what it was like to have babies. My girls are 24 and 20.
348. AndreaBT said:
Nilbo, just look at the picture at the top of the page. If that doesn't take you back in time, nothing will!
349. jmarkj said:
Congrats on the bloggie awards Heather! Well deserved.
350. Lisa said:
I know... my girl is 11 months old... she was 5 lb. 11 oz. when she was born and at work I am blessed to hold babies every day. Today I held a 6 lb. baby and marvelled at how tiny and light it was and wondered how it was my little wonder has gotten so big so fast!
351. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Do you think GEORGE!'s little lady friend knows how funny we all think it would be if she were to yell out "GEORGE!" during their round of Hide-The-Salami?
352. spoonleg said:
fucking 60's night on Idol. BOOOOORING!
353. Almost Lucid (Brad) said:
Are Mormons taking over the world, starting with Utah? Why is this not on the news?
Oh, and I will NOT razz you about how some manly men spend more time at home alone with their kids than the mommy. Nope, not me. Because I know you kid. And I know you know the world doesn't work that way. ;)
354. Tanya said:
Good news on the wins. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.
355. RyanH said:
I've always wondered what babies think when they have their eyes closed and someone is taking a picture of them. Or maybe they're not thinking. And maybe, right before we die, every instance of infatile-camera-capture flashes before us in some wonderful instant.
Wait. No, I never actually thought of that before.
356. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I'll bet I'm too late for the cocks and ball sacks, ain't I?
357. greenthumb said:
Big cocks, little cock, long thin skinny cocks, big fat hairy ones stick.
358. Susie said:
What are we doing now? Nursery rhymes?
359. mrtl said:
Susie, could be. My daughter says cock instead of sock. We could make it work.
360. Susie said:
mrtl, my little brother, greenie, does the same thing!
361. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I was kept away from y'all's lovely company by soap operas and pasta. No tellin' which one will give me gas.
362. mrtl said:
Are you saying you and greenthumb are sibs?
363. greenthumb said:
white cocks, red cocks, one, two blue cocks
364. mrtl said:
I would not eat them in a box.
I would not eat them with a fox.
365. Susie said:
yea, thru the blogger adoption project
366. Susie said:
Keep the cox out of the box!
Watch out for the fox with cox!
367. mrtl said:
I haven't heard of this you say, "blogger adoption project." Do tell me more.
368. greenthumb said:
blogger adoption project...LMAOF
369. mrtl said:
LMAOF? what's that?
370. greenthumb said:
mrtl: Laughing My Ass Off
371. Susie said:
hey! leave my gay dyslexic brother alone!
372. greenthumb said:
cocks, cocks bo-bocks, bannana-nana fo focks, me my mo-mocks...he he he hehe
(takes sip of more cold medicine)
COCKS!!!!!
373. mrtl said:
There's an F at the end. You didn't say what the F is for. Susie, not hating! Just curious.
374. greenthumb said:
sorry mrtl, the f was dextra
375. greenthumb said:
( greenie puts an arm around sister susie's shoulders...beams with pride)
376. Susie said:
(susie looks up at him with adoration)
377. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Greenie, are you gonna need one of us to drive you home, hon?
378. Susie said:
mrtl, the way the blogger adoption project works is, if you find somebody you really like, you just call dibs on them. then I think lawbrat or katiebbaw will file all the necessary documentation to make it O-fishul.
379. mrtl said:
But how do you know who should be the adopter and who should be the adoptee? Criteria?
380. Susie said:
greenie and I are the right ages, plus, to be the elder one, you have to be competent. And continent. Like, Bucky wouldn't be eligible; she still needs a keeper.
381. mrtl said:
keeper - LMAOF!
382. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
No, Susie, I won't need the Keeper until later this week.
You'd think the females here would all sync up on that sort of thing, wouldn'tcha?
383. Susie said:
No, the other kind of keeper. Like the monkeys have. To keep you from running amok.
But, yea, you would think there'd be some synchronization, huh? Someone should do research here...
384. Dang Cold.. said:
now now...bucky's the blog matriarch out of all of us flock. I believe she's had her blog longest. And she once drove a sweet BITCHIN FUCKIN'CAMARO!!!
*dang cold runs to get bucky her gin and tonic before she gets cranky*
385. greenthumb said:
next week is my birfday...I'm gonna be continent. I wanna sink uparonization.
386. CanadianAmy said:
yay! i get back on here to find the word 'keeper' a bunch of times!
387. Susie said:
Dang!
Yea, Bucky's definitely the mattresshark, must give her props for that.
(an aside, Bucky, I share your love of age-inappropriate slang)
388. CanadianAmy said:
Bucky's period red car was really cool.
389. mrtl said:
somebody bring me my gin
cause I'm gonna get high tonight...
390. Susie said:
Hey, let's plan a surprise party for greenie!
391. mrtl said:
sorry - feeling a little Dinah tonight
392. Dang Cold.. said:
hope that cold clears up b4 the party mr. thumbs of green!! happy b-day
393. mrtl said:
Susie, you crack me up.
394. CanadianAmy said:
And Dang, I've had my one year blog anniversary.....I think i may be the old matribizzatch.
395. Susie said:
Dinah? As in
Dinah, won't you blow?
Dinah, won't you blow?
Dinah won't you blow your hor or orn?
396. GEORGE! said:
Thank you for ruining my reputation.
397. Susie said:
GEORGE! The bloggie winner for best pants post! Hott Stuff comin' thru!!!!
398. Dang Cold.. said:
my apologies amy..but that camaro. great caesers ghost!!!
399. Susie said:
And happy bloggiversary, CanAmy!
400. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
If I'm a matriarch, so I have to wear my hair in a bun? 'Cause if so, no fuckin' way.
If I just get to carry a bad-ass paddle, then I'm in.
Mattress shark? Susie, yo, I don't know about the shark, but there's definitely some Jaws in my bed.
Dang, fellow slave to the Camaro. CanAmy figured out my secret: I brought in a slightly used female product and demanded that they paint match it for me. Took me five dealerships to get it right.
Greenie, continent? Why now?
mrtl - someone's in the kitchen with Dinah.
401. greenthumb said:
night all...big, sloppy, wet kisses to all and to all big ball sacks.
he heheheheeeeeeeeeeeee
WINK!!!
402. CanadianAmy said:
Thanx Susie!
But Dang, you win best 'Crow' attempt!
And GEORGE! Great hot cross bunz you got there, just in time for Easter too!
403. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Then CanAmy gets to wear the matriarch bun and carry the paddle.
Don't bruise us where it'll show, ma'am.
404. Susie said:
sweet dreams, greenie. Hope you dream of wonderful socks.
405. CanadianAmy said:
Forget the paddle, I'm just gonna wear my dad's old hand tooled leather belt, and yank it off when you kids start gettin' outta line.
Lord knows, that belt could whip chillens in it's sleep.
406. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
George just sashays his sassy ass in here, teases his bitches, and sashays out, sassy ass and all.
I wish my ass was that sassy. How many times can I type "ass"?
407. mrtl said:
Congrats Amy!
Susie/Bucky - Dinah Washington, oh how I love her
408. Susie said:
sassy ass sashays
that's fun, Bucky
409. mrtl said:
I have to go now and sell my beloved car. Goodnight all.
410. Dang Cold.. said:
can amy you win for best stunt woman after that toboggan fiasco. glad you didn't break anything ;)
411. CanadianAmy said:
Bucky, i tried to comment on your 96-97 sexy guitar woman picture, you little Lita Ford you, but bloggers comments were being stoopid.
You looked totally great in your little black tank top.
412. Susie said:
oh, it's a jazz thing. I thought it was an I-been-workin-on-the-railroad thing; or even a Dinah Shore thing, which makes me a reeeaaallly OLD thing...
413. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
mrtl - Evil Gal Blues?
414. CanadianAmy said:
night mrtl!
Dang, I KNOW. I really thought I did. What a fool. Never again.
"Bucky went to a party on a SAturday night,
She didn't get laid,
She got in a fight.
Uh-huh, It ain't no big thing."
415. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Nah, couldn't be me. I'll always manage to avoid the fight and (at least try to) get laid.
(and thanks on the pic!)
416. Dang Cold.. said:
night mrtl and please tell me the car your selling isn't a camaro. the madness has to end.
Commenting at bucky's place was a lil testy a few minutes ago. booger is freaking out again me thinks.
417. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Dinah Shore: Shoe Fly Pie and Apple Pandowdy.
I want some Ass Pandowdy.
And a rolling pin.
Whooooo's comin' with me?
418. CanadianAmy said:
blogger is on a time out for bad behaviour. Blogger is NOT going to see the new Robots movie this weekend. Blogger gets NO fruit by the foot.
419. CanadianAmy said:
Ha! It's comments like that, B4E, that make me seek out your name in here.
420. Susie said:
Ah, dear Bucky. You're ALMOST as old as I, but not nearly as tired. I'm not up for the rolling pin tonight. I'd need something motorized.
blogger comments just worked for me.
421. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy, do you have pandowdy in Canada?
Awwww, screw that - I *know* you have Cuban cigars!
422. CanadianAmy said:
I never had no pandowdy, I had to google it!
WE do have Cuban cigars, Aspercreme and thousands of Ben Wa balls.
423. Strizz said:
What do you do if the anal beads break?
424. CanadianAmy said:
man, now i have to go and google anal beads. BRB.
425. Susie said:
ooh, this is good, Strizz. dooce as the sexual crisis helpline. anyone know what to do?
426. CanadianAmy said:
They're shiny and come in a rainbow of eye-popping colors, but these jewels are worn where the sun don't shine.
427. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
If the anal beads break, get everybody out of the way and PUSH REAL HARD!
428. CanadianAmy said:
I should get a research grant for this.
429. Susie said:
yea, canamy, stizz knows THAT. but they're broken and stuck. google THAT and report back to the class, please
430. CanadianAmy said:
"Extraction is made easier (and more effective) by bearing down with the anal and pelvic muscles, as if going to the bathroom."
431. Susie said:
CanAmy, YOU ROCK! I went looking, but I got scared and had to turn back!
432. CanadianAmy said:
I am going to do a PhD on the ins and outs of anal beads.
433. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy, I'll give you one free tip for your research: Don't use square beads.
434. Dang Cold.. said:
perhaps a meal of lentils before applying said beads would be helpful in case of breakage? As bucky says get everyone out of the way. Yelling CLEAR before discharge should be the rule of thumb.
435. CanadianAmy said:
See, this is why I never get any house work done. I am too busy doing good works for the people, spreading information about sexual aids and monkey shaves.
436. CanadianAmy said:
And now it is ten of eleven and i must load up the dishwasher and lock the front door and climb into bed with my nightly bowl of corn pops.
437. Strizz said:
"Bearing down", that is a *hot* ass phrase. Literally.
438. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I have a tattoo right above my ass that says "Exit Only." There will be no anal beads going in through the out door.
439. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
That was beautiful and poetic, Matriarch CanAmy. *sniffle*
Okay, I have to drag my pasty ass off the playground and go to bed.
Y'all have a good night, and make sure you test those anal beads *before* you cram the whole thing up your poop chute.
Night night.
440. Susie said:
Mmm, corn pops. g'night, CanAmy, excellent work tonight.
Bucky, the square beads reminds me of that thing that always puzzles me-- A-1 is a square bottle. Am I the only one concerned about this?
441. Strizz said:
What if I wove an organic set of beads made from black eyed peas and lentils? I have those. I bet organic people would buy them.
442. Strizz said:
*WAIT BUCKY!!*
What if the _testing process_ renders the beads weak and thus causes them to break????
Like *how* do they test EVERY CONDOM??? By poking a hole in it?
443. Dang Cold.. said:
poop shoot? I prefer hershey highway. My laundry's done. Time to fold. Night cats.
444. CanadianAmy said:
night dang-o ate my baby
445. Susie said:
Night, Dang. g'night, strizz, bucky, Dr. JF, lurkers, etc.
that bottle is square...there are lots of round bottles, why choose the square one...square pegs...
446. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
(Strizz - that's livin' on the edge, baby...the edge of Hemmorhoid Lane)
(now REALLY night night)
447. CanadianAmy said:
night bucky ford
448. CanadianAmy said:
Strizz, i'd buy your organic anal beadz.
449. Torrie said:
Good night.
oh,
and
COCK!
450. Strizz said:
Night all.
Listen, have you seen the mustard jars? Well *mine* anyway is HUGE and even if he is undercover gay and begging for some anal gratification that could be a bit much.
Although the gay guy at work assualted me with a pepper mill. He *thought* I was someone else. MMHMMM SURE!
451. Strizz said:
*SOLD*
452. CanadianAmy said:
And susie, you lovely thing. A1 bottle has round cap, I always thought that only that round end was used.
453. lawbrat said:
Happy almost birthday Greenthumb!
454. DeAnn said:
SO cute. But THREE?! Maybe they should be trying the alternative mouth method. Heather, it is your duty to educate.
455. Heather said:
Hey. I tried to email you. I couldn't figure it out. But I wanted to tell you that I was watching the news. Fox news, it was Studio B with some dude. They were talking about being fired for your blog. They called it being "dooced" and neither of the two guys on there knew what it meant, but they knew it was some term internet junkies use for getting fired because of your blog. Just wanted to let you know.
456. Strizz said:
dude, its dooce at dooce dot com, just not in those words
457. kel-bel said:
bueler?
458. Kassi said:
It's oh so quiet now. I feel like the lone mouse. I love how I can leave for hours or even days and I don't miss much...they are still making reference to the A-1 bottle. It's like a soap opera.
459. juli said:
I can just the Utah Tourism Board and their new slogan:
Come to Utah. Have babies. You can never have enough babies.
460. Sarah M said:
oh gosh. my ovaries. dancing. pleading. yes.
461. Henryk_ said:
Dancing ovaries...how,,,,um,,interesting!!
462. Henryk_ said:
Kel..I like your banner......North Head?
463. kel-bel said:
Thanks Henry!
Yep it is.
You seem to know Sydney very well. Have you always lived here?
464. stephen brinkman said:
Hi Heather---Congrats on the award for writing, yes, you have the talent to write such that the reader relates and cries tears of laughter. Also your edit of photo subjects show taste. Caution though, your Utah Governor may take umbrage with your site being too "adult". Keep up the great living. Passed your site name to ten friends--multiple many more fans like me and I'll never again be able to post to you. Thanks for the tears today!!! S
465. coskel said:
can't sleep - 3:34 AM...must read blogs :)
466. Henryk_ said:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....the vine Jane, the vine!
467. Henryk_ said:
A hydrogen atom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Gee you look a little down. Is something the matter?" The hydrogen atom says, "Yes, I've lost an electron." The bartender asks, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."
468. Henryk_ said:
Reminds me of the time I was doing a gig in a bar in Perth.....sooooo dead!
469. Henryk_ said:
oohhhhhhhh.....a pic of an Eskimo Pie, or a papose!
470. eco2geek said:
Hi, Henryk_, how're things in Oz?
Dumb joke:
Seniors' demand for Viagra created a demand for a sexual lubricant to meet their special needs. So the makers of K-Y jelly came out with a new product, "Oil of Old Lay."
Dumb joke 2:
What do you call an optometrist in Alaska? An optical Aleutian.
471. saralynnmo said:
This photo, like other baby photos, has the same effect on my ovaries as a strobe light would have on an epileptic person. Or something like that.