When this happens, you take the LOOOOONG way home
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
1. kerri said:
WHAT! It's just gone 9pm in melbourne Australia and there is a new pic of the very gorgeous leta?! this never happens! keep driving Heather... keep driving!
2. Ronda said:
Cute sleepy girl
3. Charles said:
Horrray for spring break! Leta, you are the cutest kid! BTW . . . Ronda is like the cooooolest chick evar!
4. becs lockwood said:
well i can't believe i am number 3!!!! Greetings from Salisbury, UK. When Fynn was a very little baby, the only way we could get him to stop screaming and go to sleep was if my poor husband took him for a spin in the car. The miles he must have driven. Thank God those days are over!!! Love from Becs and Fynn (1 year and one week!) Love your website Heather xxxxx
5. LilyotheField said:
Aw, she's so cute! That pic makes me glad that I'm going home soon for spring break. I get to see my doggie, Shine, and my niece, who's 10 months old and who is annoying Shine by trying to follow her around the house.
6. Nora said:
*yawn* schmurp.
top ten?
Never understood the appeal before now. Woo hoo!
7. Fryda said:
She's starting to fill out. SUPERCUTE.
8. Henryk_ said:
I turn my back for a second, and whammo....a new pic!
9. Natalie said:
aww she looks like an angel.
10. geena said:
Cutie pie! Greetings from Sweden...looks like Europe & Australia get to see Leta first today.
11. Nora said:
Leta totally looks like a rock star.
12. Melle said:
aww.. so cute..
13. eve said:
agree with #12 :)
14. Corrinne said:
Wish I had people to drive me around to make sure I slept for as long as possible...
15. liz said:
hey, i've been reading dooce for a while now, but never commented before. but hey, top 20! leta seems like such a cute little girl. awesome site too heather :o)
16. minxlj said:
Aw bless!
She's WAAAAY off in the land of nod. :-)
17. kerrie said:
I love that moment when you are nearly home and they fall asleep. Keen on driving for as long as the petrol will last! Leta - too cute for words....
18. Danielle said:
first time poster and in the top 20. I guess it pays to have a breastfed newborn.
19. Henryk_ said:
Breastfedddddd..:-)
20. diippi said:
Aaaahh...I couldve been first today...but for the earthquake that shook us !
21. Henryk_ said:
earthquake.......where?
22. Mel said:
Absolutely gorgeous!
23. Henryk_ said:
why thank you!
24. Henryk_ said:
so is Leeta
25. diippi said:
India...koyna...though i am far from the epicentre ...it did shake us here in the office ..
26. Henryk_ said:
ok................so long as you are safe!
27. diippi said:
yup...thanks HenryK :)
28. Anna said:
she is so beautiful *sighs*
29. Andrea said:
Leta = love. :)
30. LilyotheField said:
Just read the last post, and i must agree, that mother should go to jail. how neglectful!!!
One of my baby books was Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton. My parents say they read it to me a lot, and it was one of the first i read to myself.
(click my name to see the book)
31. LilyotheField said:
it's not about a cute, albeit endangered, baby and his dog, but it is a cute story.
32. sparky said:
a ray of sunshine :)
33. spoonleg said:
i spy a double chin!
34. Rachel said:
So sweet, the sleeping Leta. :)
35. nika said:
little sleeping beauty. precious!
36. Kate said:
I know this so well.
Keep onnnn drivin'!
37. nika said:
and she has that whole supermodel pouty-lip thing going on, too. super-leta!
38. Heatheranne said:
Have you taken Leta on "quiet drives" yet? I used to do that when my son wouldn't go to sleep at night. We'd go all over the neighborhood and since it was a "quiet drive", we weren't allowed to talk. Worked every time.
39. Me said:
Awww....cho chweeet....
40. acukiki said:
I haven't posted here yet, read everyday though. Just wanted to say in this photo, Leta looks a lot like you Heather. Usually in the photos she's the spitting image of your husband ~ but here, you can see that she's a beautiful mix of you both! They are luscious when asleep, don't you think?
41. Me said:
And Henry- told you to stay away from the porn now,didn't I...?
42. amanda said:
Oh yes, you MUST keep driving when that happens.
Adorable!
43. Me said:
And a quick "Hello there" to Diippi.... ;-)
44. romy said:
awwww, car-sleep. my dad used to drive me around when i couldn't sleep. the drawback, of course, was that as soon as we pulled into the driveway afterward, i snapped awake again and howled ...
45. Aimee said:
Tres Mignonne!
46. SharonO said:
Heh, my kids are in middle school and I'll let you in on a secret. When that happens in my car, I STILL take the loooong way home. These are the moments we live for.
Gorgeous shot, Heather.
47. kim said:
i wonder what she may be dreaming of.. ??
48. Xiao Emily said:
Shhhh...
Precious.
49. Wicked H said:
Sleepy Leego...very sweet!!!!
Great way to start off the week.
50. Strizz said:
She really looks like a little big girl. No babiness left. Does that make you sad??
You know what happens right? When she starts acting all big and getting all big you start getting that "oh I want a *baby*" pains. Well, I did. Maybe you will too!!
Viva La Anitbiotics!!!!!
51. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Yeah, when I pass out in the car like this, Jim always drives around a little longer. He treasures any time where he can get me to shut up for a while.
52. Mad said:
Oh, Leego Boing-boing is soooo going to be glad you took that photo when she gets older. She'll never bring home prospective boyfriends in case you bring out the photo album! :-)
53. Johanna said:
What happened, she all of the sudden looks like a toddler, not a baby! Happy quiet time.
54. CanadianAmy said:
I love when my kids fall asleep in the car, they look like little senior citizens who just couldn't last the drive.
55. Kait said:
Strizz is right. She looks all growed up.
56. Spurious Plum said:
Aw! Sweet, sunny faced Leta...Look at that bright, cheeky goodness.
Lovely morning pic, Dooce. Thanks for sharing her with us!
57. Maeby said:
did you stop to take that pic or did you just kinda stretch your arm to the back seat and click? i always do that....
58. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Sacked OUT. Aw! And I agree with the other comments - she looks like a "young 'un" now, not a baby. Sigh. They grow so rapido, rapido. Next week she'll be sending out college applications....
59. Strizz said:
Well, si *is* a genius right.
60. TexaRican said:
Woot for Spring Break!
(although it's not as fun when you will be cleaning all day for a visit from the in-laws)
61. Stacy said:
Carseat pics are the best. I tried desperately yesterday to get my little one to show me both her "tall mans" yesterday while she was in the carseat. Because preschoolers flipping the bird? Ha.
Good morning, Leta!
62. thelearner said:
Greetings from Giheung (but-you-won't -know-it) South Korea
63. Cheryl said:
How I wish I was Leta right now.. precious sleep!
64. Moxie said:
Lightweight.
Seems Ms. Armstrong can't hold her Maker's Mark.
65. HoneyBunny said:
i had a friend who would drive around town all night to try to get her daughter to sleep. no matter what she did, it didn't work. what's the secret?
66. karinka said:
precious.
67. Susie said:
Sometimes, if you're careful, you can carry in sleeping kid and carseat, and let her sit on the floor in the house, strapped in to the carseat, finishing her nap, while you go to the bathroom, or boobah, or...(not that I ever did that)
68. jana said:
I still take the long way home when my kids fall asleep in the car! AND I put the radio on something other than Radio Disney.
69. Kathy Chamberlin said:
Gorgeous Angel Baby, she is. I never noticed before but she has those beautiful lips too! What a doll you are, Miss Leta.
70. Shelli said:
if you look up peaceful in the dictionary, THIS is what you'll find!
71. TS Eliot said:
Half lit face
half warning grace
drive to sleep
her straps to keep
Love close to her
while riding through.
72. Kathy Chamberlin said:
What a beautiful Angel Baby you are, Miss Leta. I never noticed before but she has those gorgeous lips, too! Sleeping beauty.
73. Jen in Boston said:
She looks like YOU, Dooce! For the first time, I see it.
74. Anne said:
Aw, sweet. You can see more "little girl" in the set of her face now more so than "baby."
Did she wake up the second you got into the house?
75. kalki said:
I love Leta's eyebrows. Thanks for cheering up my Monday morning, Heather.
76. sleepingmommy said:
Ooh how I know that feeling. Except that if those antibiotics do cause your pill to fail and you didn't use your "backup" method (he he) then you'll have a screaming infant and that spoils the long way home because THEN you have to take them home immediately and get the baby out of the car and fed or changed or whatever the hell it wants at that godforsaken moment and meanwhile you have WOKEN THE TODDLER.
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let my own nightmare infiltrate this post.
:)
77. The Other Paula said:
She looks so sweet while asleep, I bet you she is dreaming of all the things she's going to get into while awake!
78. beachgal said:
Awww....so sweet. My little one fell asleep on the way home from gramma's last nite....then woke up screaming. Poor guy.
She's growing up so fast, it's unreal. Thanks for sharing, Heather.
79. Strizz said:
I am not sure if I see Dooce or not.
Heather, get in her car seat, pout your lips a bit and snap a pic while you pretend to sleep. Post it Thursday for comparison. :0P
80. Strizz said:
I hate girl scouts.
They peddle these little treats in hope of one day taking over the world.
Who else freezes their thin mints?
81. Strizz said:
bueler?
82. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Strizz, I freeze my "thin mints" off every time I go outside these days.
83. Amy said:
She is really a beautiful little girl. You have done an amazing job molding her into the pumpkin she is today. :)
84. Lilla said:
Hah, works e-v-e-r-y time. Good work Heather!
85. Susie said:
Hey! Don't be hatin' Girl Scouts. I was COOKIE MOM! And we WILL take over the world. Here, have SAMOA...
86. Gooooder said:
kawaiiiiiii desu neeee!
87. jules said:
We always froze the girl scout cookies when we got them. It made the peanut butter sandwich cookies last langer because you had to sit there and gnaw on them and actually dip them in the milk to thaw them, not because they tasted better that way.
88. greenthumb said:
I feel like such a mean old man saying, "Not tonight sweetie" to the crafty, lil' cookie pushers in front of my grocer. Last night, the COOKIE MOM gave me this look like...dude, shut up and buy a box of cookies....I went out the other door.
89. Cookie Mom said:
jules, when people are describing their wonderful experiences with Girl Scout cookies, we prefer they use the expression "savor," as opposed to "gnaw on." You understand...
90. Cookie Mom said:
et tu, greenie?
91. LadyBug said:
Aww, how sweet.
But she looks very grown up, I think.
92. greenthumb said:
So far, I've lost 15lbs since Feb on the South Beach Diet...last time I checked, Samoa's were not on the list...and I...I...I can't just eat one. I would eat the entire box and then sit there in the corner twitching from the sugar and shame.
93. becaru said:
ohmigosh, Leta looks so grown up in that picture.
94. Stacey said:
She's becoming such a little girl now, not a baby anymore!
95. smacks said:
Thin mints MUST be frozen. Or dipped in butter.
96. annakay said:
she looks like such a big girl in this picture!
97. Susie said:
The Lemon Coolers are tasty, and low-fat...here, try...
Thin Mints in BUTTER? Never heard of such a thing...
98. Karen said:
Awwww..
99. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
She is so precious - she is definitely deep into slumber land. Probably dreaming about Good Dog Carl and his escapades around the department store.
My little guy is almost four years old and I still love it when he passes out in the back seat. It seems that the most peaceful slumber always comes in the back seat of the car. What sucks is when they hit forty pounds and you have to lug their dead weight into the house.
But I still love it.
100. smacks said:
Try them with a little bit of Brummel and Brown (butter and yogurt) on them. Delish.
101. Meggan said:
What chubby cheeks! She looks like she has Angelina Jolie lips in this picture. How cute!
102. Circus Kelli said:
What a great picture. Definitely the right time to extend the drive.
It's great when they fall asleep in the car. One minute chattering away, the next out like a light.
Sometimes, the kids do it, too.
103. Julia said:
A gorgeous child. Absolutely gorgeous.
104. Susie said:
Heather, last night I noted yet ANOTHER similarity between you and Jose Canseco:
His book is called, "Juiced." I know he just did that after he heard that yours is called, "Dooced." He's just carrying this whole thing too far...
105. bethy-mae said:
Good Morning Dooce, good morning everyone.
Dooce,
Try the little bear series. It has pictures by Maurice Sendak and the story is pretty good. Also no neglectful mommies. The Harry the dog stories are pretty good too and portray a more realistic dog/family type relationship. Of course I liked Harry because he was funny.
106. Heidi said:
Wow, she's growing up so fast. She looks less like a baby and more like a little girl. How adorable!
107. Jenn D. said:
I was thinking exactly as Heidi (#106) while scrolling down to comment. She is growing up so fast, what a darling!
108. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Wow, Jose and Heather are looking more and more alike every day!
I hear ya' Kelli - my boyfriend is usually the first one to pass out in the car. I refuse to try and carry him in the house, though.
Check out my blog - in honor of carseat slumber Monday, I have posted a pic of my 3 1/2 year old passed out in th eback seat.
109. Summer (the elder) said:
You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
You are my woman
I know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
We can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
"The Long Way Home," from Norah Jones' album, Feels Like Home
110. lallaloolly said:
cuuuute baby. i wish i could sleep like that.
i keep thinking about this good dog carl post... i thought children's books were supposed to suspend reality... that's what makes them so great. animals talk, parents are a part of the background, adventures are possible, policeman are always helpful, you just have to look out for witches who eat little children.
111. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Ah - the joys of "Kidstoned Chewable Valium". I have some on hand for my nephews.
112. Jennifer said:
Amen to the loooong way home!
113. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Children's books should definitely suspend reality. I am all for crazy, silly books for kids, but sometimes authors take things just a bit too far. I loved the Curious George books as a kid, and he was always getting away from the dude in the big yellow hat and causing a ruckus in department stores, but he was a monkey, not a baby. I think it would have freaked me out as a kid if I read a story about a mom who left her baby alone with a dog babysitter in a department store. I guess everyone is different, though. Little kids are smarter than we think and they don't take things as seriously as we do. I guess I can't blame Jon for loving the Good Dog Carl books as a kid - they are definitely imaginitive (albeit scary!)
114. southern fried girl said:
What a cute picture. You gotta love when they are so knocked out that a parade could go through and not wake them. :)
115. Kassi said:
It's moments like these that you can almost see what they will look like when they are adults.
She's a doll...be prepared Heather, be prepared.
116. Strizz said:
We read the Froggy books last night. Froggy is silly, he forgot to put his pants on when he went out to play in the snow.
117. Kassi said:
Speaking of dog babysitters, there is a new line of toys out now that helps to perpetuate this imaginary scenario. They are called Doggy Daycare.
118. Nobody said:
So, yesterday I'm lying on the couch watching basketball before we go out, and my little boy jumps on me and starts to watch the game, and then his breathing gets very regular, and then he's asleep. My wife comes to get us, sees he's asleep, cancels the going out, gives me a couple of pillows, and he naps on me for two and a half hours while I watch the ball games.
Middle America bourgeois existence at its best.
119. Strizz said:
When my son watches the movie Hook he gets VERY upset at the part where Peter rolls away in his carriage and gets lost.
He even cried, he says mommies aren't supposed to let their babies roll away and fall and get rained on. Of course NOW he has seen it 97503 times and will try and force the tears out at that part.
120. mrtl said:
They're so angelic when they sleep in the car, the way the head lolls to the side. If you're lucky, she was so exhausted that when you took her out, Her Cuteness was a rag doll with her cheek on your shoulder.
121. messygoat said:
sleepingmommy -- I totally agree. I've got an almost-3-year-old and an 8-month-old... When the baby cries we try just about everything to shut her up instantly if the toddler's sleeping. Usually fails. :( And THEN we have cranky kids AND cranky parents. Thrill-a-minute.
Leta's precious! It always amazes me how much their faces change when they're sleeping.
122. Amy S said:
It is nice when this happens except when it's like 6 o'clock at night and you want to be in bed by like 9ish and the baby is wide awake cause of her cute cat nap in the car.
*only speaking from expeirence(sp?) it happens to us about once a week*
123. mrtl said:
If you all see me again here before 12 central, please slap me. I really need to WORK. Making up time over the weekend SUCKS. You all have fun now! bub-eye
124. LouinDallas said:
What a cutie-pie!
I missed checking yesterdays daily photo until today only to find that YOU ARE TAUNTING ME WITH YET ANOTHER photo of the front door at Red Iguana. **drool*Yellow mole*drool* calling my name and me no longer living in Utah. Do you think they deliver?
Anyone have a kleenex??
125. Melanie S. said:
Sweetest Frog Princess EVER!
126. BarefootGoddess said:
Sweetness!
127. Strizz said:
My mom sent this to my husband
http://tinyurl.com/7xw5f
I am a little scared, actually.
128. Strizz said:
shit, it didn't work..never mind
129. annabelle said:
Looking at that picture, I can actually smell sweet, warm, sweaty baby smell. You know what I mean?
130. jules said:
Strizz, I love the movie Hook and that's so sweet that your son was so upset.. tell him i was a bit pissed with the careless mommy too!
(:3
131. vanessa said:
such a cutie, that girl.
sweet leta.
132. August95 said:
I fell asleep like that on the couch last night. I may have been drooling though.
133. Gordon said:
Leta: "Wheres chuck when you need someone to play with..."
134. Piggs fly said:
Dreamin' Leta! How cute!
135. Jessica said:
B-E-A-U-tiful! Lucky mom... Lucky Leta...
136. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Leta really does look a lot like Heather in this pic. Look at her little lips - they are totally Angelina Jolie! She even has a cute little dimple in her bottom lip! SO CUTE!!!!
137. tracy said:
Gee, I'm surprised that a Bad Parent like yourself (of course you are, the internets says so!) would get so upset about that book.
(it's a joke, people)
138. canadianguy said:
dedooced - losing your job for reading Dooce too much.
139. jp said:
you drive until there is no more gas, because that bliss is the last you will have when those eyes pop open.
140. the mighty jimbo said:
almost makes you want to drive her with you to montana, doesn't it?
141. geeekgirl said:
It is really fun to watch her grow up. She looks so much older this weekend!
142. Vanessa_AR said:
Leta is the cutest! And those moments of silence are wonderful.
143. Kate said:
Anyone else think that is the first photo of Leta we have seen where she looks like a child and not like a baby? She is also becoming breathtakingly beautiful.
Good Job Heather!
144. Paul said:
143rd! Yey go me!
145. Paul said:
or not.. :(
146. Stacy said:
I posted a carseat pic last night -- I think Dooce copied me! ;-)
We also read a scary book the other day -- the Little Golden Book about God. Freaked. Me. Out.
I realize I'm missing the whole "suspension of disbelief" thing, but I still haven't gotten over the fact that during 'Frosty the Snowman', Santa leaves poor little Karen on the roof of her house. The HELL? Santa's too good to drop her at the door and promise to call? Why not just send her home in a cab?
147. Strizz said:
Who cares about a cracker mess. A quite happy baby is
148. Strizz said:
SHIT....WORTH the mess and pain in the ass. Am I right or am I right????
149. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Ultimately, I'd guess the handi-vac makes a less annoying sound than a screaming baby.
I'd totally give her the crackers.
150. Strizz said:
Ok here is the link from before..again from my MOM to my husband
http://mirrored.flabber.nl/boob.cursor/
151. lavonne said:
My first kid ruled by screaming too. I was actually afraid of him. He's 39 now and still screams whenever I say no [I am so not exaggerating], but at least I've finally learned to say no. Fortunately, he's 2000 miles away and I can hang up the phone.
152. Amanda B. said:
She is so pretty. Her cheeks get me everytime. Must smooch cheeks!
153. Strizz said:
And I could be wrong, but I totally see a third nipple
154. kristine said:
Ahhh the things I don't miss:
Car seats. Saltine crackers. Gold Fish, "MY SOCKS ARE HURTING MY FEET!", and those moments trying to decide if taking the handgun away from the child will make her cry more than the flesh wound and possible jail time.
I'm so glad mine are almost all growed up.
155. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I totally understand the indestructible saltine/saliva goo. We ended up just throwing one of Little Patrick's carseats away for just that reason. That stuff will not come out. Ever.
Is it me, or does the sunlight on Leta's head in the picture on the main page make her look as though she has a mohawk? She looks pretty bad ass with a mohawk!
156. ella's ma said:
Leta has beautiful lips.
I love when my daughter falls asleep in the car- my husband and I can talk, and "cruise" and for a brief moment, we have peace in the middle of an otherwise hectic life. :)
157. lawbrat said:
Strizz #150..From you MOM? holy shit! I would be embarressed if my MOM even saw me seeing something like that! MOM?
158. Torrie said:
I saw these awesome frog socks (the frogs were dressed up like the easter bunny) this weekend. I wanted to buy them for Leta, but they didn't have them in her size.
:(
I bought a pair for myself. I will wear them in Leta's honor.
159. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Yes, but we should all remember that Strizz' Mom is obsessed with breasts. The boobmeister. The tittie-tollah.
160. TulsaOkie said:
The long way that involves torturous amounts of non-being-able-to-pee-time. Or atleast that's what happens when I take the long way home when my two are asleep.
161. Stacy said:
I think there's probably a very complicated equation involved: Crackers + saliva = mess / quiet squared * snarky laughter watching husband clean up mess.
162. southern fried girl said:
Your post about the wrangling between you and John as to who should take away the crackers and then the mess in the car seat had me cracking up. You two are beyond hilarious.
163. Pissy Britches said:
Yes..the long way home..I too do this often when the kid falls asleep. Ahhhh, peace and quiet time.
164. Mir said:
If that isn't the most beautiful sight in the world to catch in the rearview when you're a toddler parent, I don't know what is....
165. Amanda B. said:
I love the flickr pics where she is reading the book. That is too cute.
166. Adent said:
Canadian guy 138
Wouldn't dedooced be rehired for writing about work?
I think you mean redooced.
167. africankelli said:
That is such peaceful sleep. I wonder how long it has been since I've slept that way? Without a care in the world, without worrying if your mouth is hanging open and there is a little drool pool gathering on your shirt.
She is a beautiful girl Dooce. You are royally blessed.
:)
168. LadyBug said:
kristine:
"...those moments trying to decide if taking the handgun away from the child will make her cry more than the flesh wound and possible jail time."
It depends on the caliber of the handgun and how many rounds are contained therein.
Also.... *GUFFAW!*
169. Gisele said:
Heather I love today's post. My husband and I refer to that kind of thing as "picking our battles".
Cheers!
:)
170. La Pixiatrix said:
She looks so content and without a care (concern) in the world.
I find I sleep like that on weekend days now. I've never slept well in my life. I have trouble going to sleep and staying asleep. Every 5th or 6th day I sleep pretty deeply out of sheer exhaustion. But I'm discovering as a non-single person that naps are wonderful.
Sleeping during the day with my man puttering around the house and cats on my legs. Total abandon. OK, almost. But close enough.
171. Torrie said:
poop
172. honestyrain said:
girl, when this appens you'll drive three states out of your way to prolong the resulting joy.
173. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Torrie, a girl after my own heart. Poop!!!
174. Torrie said:
POOP!
175. Torrie said:
Katie, you are always there when I need you.
Thank you.
And again, poop.
176. the niffer said:
And a good poop to you too.
Where is mrtl? I wanna slap her.
Strizz, I have got to meet your mom.
Heather - you and Jon crack me up. I don't have kids, but I think I would have done the same thing. It's not like it's a bag of broken glass.
177. the niffer said:
OMG - its. I'm so embarassed.
178. the niffer said:
No wait. It's. Phew. I think I'm losing my mind.
179. Kassi said:
That is so funny, because a week or so ago...you posted a photo of Leta in her car seat and I noted to myself how clean her car seat straps were. I was impressed. Now I feel better because I have actually given up on cleaning the car seat straps because of the impossibility of putting the car seat back together after a washing...so said cracker paste is permanent.
180. Torrie said:
Niffer, IT'S ok (ha ha), we love crazy here.
181. Shiz said:
Fryda (#7):
STARTING TO FILL OUT???????????
182. CanadianAmy said:
Strizzy! Yikes!
I mean, i got nothin against nipples (well, but my brazzeeair I guess) but the mom/son in law bonding through naked boobies is a little weird, eh?
183. mrtl's imaginary friend said:
A potato scrubber and some Simple Green will get that goo out, if you can stand the smell.
184. mrtl said:
niffer - why the hate?
185. Trance said:
Best sight to see, and so pretty.
186. mrtl said:
And my computer says it's after noon here, and what my computer says goes. You keep your hands to yourself!
187. Torrie said:
I'm lonely.
Where my bitches at?
188. Mamaramma said:
The saltines have it! She's looking so much like a little girl now. I agree, Amanda B., the book-reading photos are adorable. I love it when they flip through the pages and babble to themselves as if they're reading.
189. Torrie said:
I dyed my hair this weekend. I was going for medium brown with red highlights.
I got bright septic tank poopy red.
190. kalki said:
Niffer, you are too cute with your it's and its. Grammar geeks unite!
191. mrtl said:
ooooh - kalki, I'm with you on that. Can we get a special ring out of those things at Walmart?
192. kalki said:
Hi mrtl! I'm all about the rings. Although I think I might prefer those cool lollipop rings. I used to love those as a kid. Oooh, and the candy necklaces! Yeah, I'm all about edible accessories.
193. mrtl said:
Torrie - I'm sorry to hear about your hair.
194. mrtl said:
Hey kalki - yes, edible would be fine with me.
195. mrtl said:
But now I must bid you a fond farewell. Gots some shiznit on base of which to take care.
196. mrtl said:
(Of course I didn't intend that but to be in there. Can you tell I've not practiced in a while. haha)
197. kalki said:
What if they made an edible purse? You could snack on it all day long!
198. Torrie said:
Me too. Both of my cameras are broken, so I bought a dissposible one. Hopefully my selfportraits came out and you'll be able to see the horror that is my hair.
199. kalki said:
Well, poop. Hurry back, mrtl!
200. Stacy said:
Torrie, try washing your hair repetitively with liquid dish detergent. Worked for me when a new shade of red I was trying made me look like Bozo the Clown. It stripped out the worst of the color and then I could darken it up a bit the next go 'round.
201. laurenbove said:
Not only do you take the long way home, but you dream of the day when they open up a drive through margarita place...
202. Circus Kelli said:
lavonne #151: You have no idea how you just depressed the hell outta me with that statement.
Of course, I'm only kidding... a little.
203. Torrie said:
Thanks Stacey!
204. Susie said:
kalki, one of my most illicit, erotic memories involves one of those lollipop rings. Do tell, you say? Well, OK, if you insist. In high school, I was dating "David," and we went to a movie together. I sat between David and his best friend, "Larry." Throughout the movie, I held hands with David on the right, while on the left, Larry secretly slurped away at the lollipop ring on my finger. I broke up with David soon after, and Larry and I became biology partners:)
205. JulieT said:
What a cutie pie. She's soooooooooo sweet.
206. Katrina said:
Super cute Leta! Scrumptious even.
How wrong is it that I totally enjoyed the site Strizz's mom sent to hubby? I'm inspired to tie a string to my own nipple and see if it will dance like that.
207. DeAnn said:
She is a DOLL. No, literally. A doll. That kid is too cute to be human.
208. Christina said:
wow, she looks like a kid. They grow up so fast...sniff, sniff
209. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Once again - POOP!
210. eddo said:
Sweet. I can't wait to have kids... but I need to find me a wife first... or do I... yes, a wife, then kids... that is the right order.
211. Torrie said:
Wow, I love you Katie.
Poop
212. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I love you, too, Torrie!
There's nothing like talking about poop on a Monday. That's usually what I feel like at the beginning of the week, but I feel great today. I think it was that movie Robots I saw yesterday. That movie rocked!
213. Alex said:
Soooo cuuuuute!!!! reminds me of my little brothers at that age. Darling girl...
214. heathabee said:
Awwww.... mufffin.....
I love the pouty lower-lip!
She's gorgeous.
And I'm almost 21 and I STILL fall asleep in the car during car rides.
* *blushy face* *
215. kalki said:
Susie, you naughty thing, you! That is a great story. WHO KNEW those innocent lollipop rings could be so erotic?!
216. bean said:
beautiful. doncha just wanna wake her up?
217. kalki said:
By the way, Susie, I think you made the right choice between David and Larry. Any man who knows how to slurp is definitely the one to pick! I trust your husband is well-practiced in the art of the lollipop ring. ;)
218. kristine said:
217 comments. Anyone want to catch me up on what's going on?
something about licking and slurping?
219. kalki said:
Kristine, in sum:
It is agreed by all that Leta is absolutely beautiful.
Susie once had men left and right, literally eating out of her hand.
You need to tell me all about San Fran, b/c I'm going in April and I've never been before!
220. kalki said:
Oh, and I love edible accessories like lollipop rings, candy necklaces, underwear...you get the idea.
221. Torrie said:
Kalki, the BEST retaurant in San Fran is The Slanted Door. Best meal I've ever had ( and I'm a chef from NY, so that's saying a lot).
222. Torrie said:
Katie, I'm taking my fat ass to the gym. Catch you later.
POOP!
223. kalki said:
Torrie, thank you for the recommendation! I will definitely make reservations for that restaurant.
224. Susie said:
kalki, this is a major point of marital discord (now the truth comes out!). I once told Jif about Larry and the lollipop (that was fun to type!) and asked him to help me repeat the experience, except without the guy on the other side, and HE REFUSED. Said, no, that would have to remain under "memories of Larry,"... He is cruel. Why did I say all those nice things about him on Saturday?
225. kalki said:
Susie, you tell Jif I say FOR SHAME. Although the "memories of Larry" cracked me up. Perhaps if you reinvent the lollipop experience, Jif might consider it. Lollipop nipple rings, here you come...
226. Susie said:
Excellent suggestion, kalki. I'm outtie. Goin' to the Candy Box. (That's really what it's called.) With a name like that, surely they'll have what I need!
227. kalki said:
Susie said Candy Box! Where's Bucky when we need her?
228. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
WOW...slow day, huh? I've been in class all day and I have really missed all the back and forth on dooce. :(
229. Annejelynn said:
could eat up Leta whole!
230. coffeegirl said:
I could kiss those lips right off! I love me some yummy smoochin baby lips! Yummy.
231. Jane said:
I do, all the time, with my little one - one of these days I'm going to run out of stupid small country to drive around in.
232. Ben said:
It's a clean sweep! Dooce.com won every category it was nominated for at the Bloggies!
Best American Blog, Best Tagline, Most Humorous, AND Best Writing.
Congrats!
http://2005.bloggies.com/
233. red said:
oh my gosh, i want to eat her.
234. kat said:
Aw sleepyhead!
235. leen said:
we have loads of photos like this of our daughter. very cute :)
236. Manic said:
Um, Heather -- re your comment
". . . she might spill crackers all over the back seat of the car BUT I SO DON‘T CARE RIGHT NOW.†Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but you WILL have crumbs all over your car -- and worse -- for at least, oh, the next 18 years or so!
237. cmj said:
Apparently Lovely Leta is not a puker, if cracker crumbs all over the backseat are a pressing concern!
My firstborn was a puker. How I would long for simple cracker crumbs when I was pulled over on the side of the highway cleaning him, the carseat, the carseat straps, the BACK of the seat in front of him, and the floor of the car. And the smell...oh DEAR GOD THE SMELL.
238. LadyBug said:
Um, yeah. *cmj?* (#237) Thanks for that imagery. No, really.
*BAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFF*
(It was "oh DEAR GOD THE SMELL" that really got to me.)
239. the niffer said:
Oh mrtl, I don't hate you. But you offered yourself for a slappin...
240. the niffer said:
It really does smell like puke in here, doesn't it?
241. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I remember when my little guy puked up jelly beans in the back seat of my VW bug. I had just bought the car, but he was only 2 years old and he didn't know that. I was scrubbing up jelly bean goo for months, and I still find petrified jellybean puke in some nooks and crannies when I am cleaning. And it has been a year and half. It is true - the stuff NEVER goes away!!!
242. jm said:
dooce,
I know that you'll NEVER do what my mom did to me when that happened.
I fell asleep on the way home from the grocery store. Mom left me there to put away the groceries, got distracted and remembered about 30 minutes later that I was STILL. IN. THE. CAR.
I guess I was crying pretty hard by that time. Scary dark garage. Geez!
I still fall asleep in cars. I'll never learn.
243. Lisa said:
Heather,
I don't know if you'll get to read this far down into your comment section, but that looks like one of our carseats. Cosco. If you e-mail the model info off the side of the seat, I'll send new straps for you. I'll send them to your address provided on your site. I'll do this because of the cracker incident and because I've been a fan from almost the very beginning. If you need help finding the model sticker, it's on the side of the seat and starts with a 02- or a 22-.
244. amelia said:
dooce- you are in the Minneapolis StarTribune today: http://www.homezone.com/stories/389/5280361.html
245. Arthur Delaney said:
Dooce cleaned up at the Bloggies!! Four awards! Way to go Dooce!!!
246. jared said:
Congratulations on all your wins with this year's Bloggies! I'm happy for you. A little bit of validation is good for the soul.
I can just read it now, "Multi-winner of the 2005 Bloggies, SUCK ON IT!"
Peace,
Jared
247. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
JM, that is pretty scary. I have heard of parents doing that to their kids, although sometimes it doesn't have as happy an ending. One guy left his baby in the car after forgetting to drop him off at daycare and the baby passed away from the heat. That had to be one preoccupied father, because no one I know could ever leave their kid that long and not remember.
I remember once when I was a kid we took the dog to the vet and had her in the back of the station wagon. She was really quiet after getting some shots, so we forgot she was there. Ten minutes later, we were like "HOLY shit!" She was crying pitifully in the back seat. We gave her a steak to make her feel better.
248. Amanda B. said:
Damn it! I just knew Dooce would take "Best Latino Dancer Blog" and "Blog with the most original use of the word 'anus'".
But seriously. Congrats Dooce. You are an amazing writer and so, so funny. Thankyou for your honesty. It has touched me in a special place. No, not that one. Sicko.
249. greenthumb said:
YEAH!!!Dooce cleaned up on the Bloggies...but tell me, what is the significance of a $20.05 gift certificate?
250. jules said:
katie.. your'e supposed to CLEAN your car??
251. debutaunt said:
Hey, you may have cracker crumbs in your car now, but it could be tomorrow's survival food if you ever get stranded in a snowstorm or something.
My car didn't have the nickname Cheerio-mobile for nothing!
252. kalki said:
greenthumb, that struck me as odd at first, too, but then I realized it's because it's the 2005 Bloggies.
Heather - you may not be able to take a shit, but you got the bloggin' thing down. CONGRATS!
253. Henryk_ said:
Bloggies O M G !! What'll they think of next??
254. Circus Kelli said:
CMJ #237: On the way to a doctor's appt once, we had a similar issue with my oldest.
Unfortunately for me, she had baloney for lunch. Oh DEAR GOD THE SMELL indeed.
255. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Yeah, I think you're supposed to clean it, although you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at mine. My back seat consists of a booster seat covered in crumbs and broken crayons on the seat. I guess it gives the car character.
256. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Eww, baloney puke. Much worse than jelly bean puke.
257. beachgal said:
I can't get over how absolutely adorable Leta is. I love her off to the side ponytail. It's awesome that she lets you do that. I have a 16 month old boy with barely any hair, but I know when it's time to brush it, he's gonna be a bad kid about it.
Yay for extra Leta-goodness today!
258. mrtl said:
the niffer - I'm back and presenting my ass.
259. the niffer said:
Man, bologna smells like puke to begin with.
260. the niffer said:
mrtl - SLAPTASTIC!
261. CanadianAmy said:
Orange juice and doritos puke is really disgusto too.
Well, what puke isn't disgusto? Maybe just water puke.
262. mrtl said:
What on earth did I just walk into? Why are you all talking about puking when you could be talking about pooping?
Dooce - Congratulations on your Bloggie wins!
263. the niffer said:
mrtl - 'presenting' - that made me laugh because in the business that's what you'd say about a bitch in heat.
264. CanadianAmy said:
Can I vent that it is March Break up here in Canada? And that the only thing that is going to break is me?
My middle child, who has just been timed out in his room for the seventeenth time today for fighting with his older brother, just yelled at me through the keyhole of his door,
"MOMMEE! LEMME OUT OR I'N NOT GONNA LOVE YOU ANYMORE!"
265. the niffer said:
Oh, CanAm, you need a babysitter STAT.
266. CanadianAmy said:
Yes Nif. A b-sitter or a bottle of Bailey's IRish cream with a drop of coffee in it.
267. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
Nope....water puke is bad too because then it becomes just bile.
That's no fun.
268. laurenbove said:
Poor Canadian Amy: I feel your pain. We had our break in Feb. and await another in April. (said cheerfully)
Babysitters are great but they cost so much I can't enjoy the time out. I keep ticking down the hours (okay, that's 10 dollars, 20, 30, 40, ugh )
269. the niffer said:
Is babysitting really up to 10 bucks an hour?
(that'll shut the ovaries up for a day or two)
270. Dawners said:
babysitters make $10/hour nowadays? DANG! And I thought my $7/hour MickeyD's drive-thru job was well-paid.
[no offense to any actual mickeyD's workers - you guys put up with a lot with little to no gratification]
271. warcrygirl said:
Awwww, such a sweet girl! May I suggest you and Jon investing in a good pair of earplugs? You think the screaming is bad now just wait until she's 15. I'd hate to see how you guys melt the first time she learns to say "MEAN MOMMY!" Good luck!
272. annabelle said:
I used to sit for this couple's (who pretty much stayed home the whole time) twins and they paid me 15 an hour.
273. Terri said:
WOW, the first picture I've seen of Leta where she's losing her "baby look" and beginning to look like a little girl. Freaky huh? It's as if overnight she turned three!
274. doocey said:
Blog this
I don’t care that you have a cyst on your leg
Or your kid can’t walk
Or your husband has to beg
Or your baby can't talk
Or you talk dirty to your mother
Or you once got drunk with your brother
Or you take pictures of your narcissistic self
and 889 people reply to your photo
with three-word ditties like: oh, your(sic) hot
Nine hundred functionally illiterate scholars
with too much time
nor do I care that you’re a retired Jehovah’s Witness
or that you’re stupid beyond belief—that’s too apparent
I don’t want to comment on your personal diary
of hopelessness, loneliness, illiteracy
you lovely queen of utter banality
I don’t care that you lost your job
or that you once blew a guy named Bob.
I don’t care about any of the vomitous phlegm
you post day-in, day-out on your crappy little blog
Read a book.
Watch a tree.
Take care of your kid
Listen to the wind as it
moves through grass.
Turn off your computer;
It’s a dumb machine.
You’re not famous.
But you’re human, and
that’s something.
275. laurenbove said:
10 dollars? It would seem so. Babysitting is now more than minimum wage. What's with that? Is it my area? Am I a big fat patsy? (I've heard of 7 dollars an hour for a rate, but don't know anyone who accepts that.)
Nonetheless, it's a profitable venture. Maybe one should pursue?
276. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I agree myrtl. I tried to get on the poop topic but no one wanted to talk about it. I guess puke is the topic of the day. Which is cool by me either way.
277. Torrie said:
POOP!
278. Girl.A said:
doocey,
*I think thou dost protest too much.*
You know ten times more about dooce than I do and have ten times more free time on your hands to write about how you "don't care".
You're a joke with no balls.
279. Torrie said:
When I go to the Bloggies site I don't see the winners- just the nominees.
Does anyone have the direct link to the list of winners?
280. AndiMAC said:
Bleah!
281. Torrie said:
Nobody make contact with the troll.
If you don't give them any attention they crawl back under their rock.
282. the niffer said:
Wow, someone drank the grumpy juice today.
Shoo, ass troll! KBBAW - take care of that mofo. We don't pay you to sit around talking about poo.
283. kalki said:
I used to get paid $15 after babysitting two kids for a whole freakin' evening! Is it me, or are babysitters progressing WAY beyond inflation?
284. kalki said:
Torrie, scroll WAY down. The winners are posted right after "be current with the categories"
285. the niffer said:
KBBAW - please feel free to talk about poop for no charge, though.
286. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
Torrie:
I had to dance around the page a bit to find them...but they're there.
287. Fran said:
Loved the cracker story...and I don't mean it in a racist way.
Leta, cute was always.
288. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
When I was 15 I took care of twins for $4/hour. What's up with babysitters getting $10/hr?? There is no way they should make more than minimum wage burger flippers...
Then again, depends on the child in question, right?
289. Torrie said:
Kalki, I don't get it. All I see is the nominees.
290. kalki said:
Torrie, it took me forever to see it, too. The winners are listed amongst meme, and the winner is flickr - it says winner at the top right of each box, and then shows a graphic from the winning blog, with the winning blog's name listed directly below the graphic (and then all other finalists for that category listed below that).
I hate to say it, but the Bloggie site would not win a Bloggie - it's hard to figure out!
291. hopefulloser said:
Contrats on a winning site and a beautiful daughter.
My daughter "humps" a lot too! I was rolling when I read that.
you rock
292. kalki said:
whoa, my last comment got cut and probably just added to your confusion.
what I meant to say is this:
The winners are listed amongst the finalists. For example, the first category is Best Meme, and the winner is flickr - it says winner at the top right of each box, and then shows a graphic from the winning blog, with the winning blog’s name listed directly below the graphic (and then all other finalists for that category listed below that).
293. Tammy said:
so adorable. I'm sure she's even more adorable when she's sleeping and quiet :)
294. mrtl said:
Girl.A, you're the monkey ballsiest of them all.
295. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
DIE ASS TROLL!!!!
296. Girl.A said:
Thanks, mrtl
I think I had a moment of weakness.
297. Torrie said:
Katie, read what I wrote (#281). Resist the urge.
poop
298. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I was gone for a few moments and what happens? A poetic ass troll comes out of the woodwork. That particular ass troll did his research on Dooce, didn't he?
I love how ass trolls never leave a link to their own blog. Wimps, those ass trolls.
299. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Oops, sorry Torrie. I just couldn't help myself. Niffer gave me permission to dub him with the good old Ass Troll moniker. I will refrain from any further ass troll references in hopes that said ass troll will crawl back under his crusty rock.
300. Torrie said:
Kalki, Thank you. Believe it or not, it's still not working. My computer is weird. When dooce posts a new masthead it's a couple of days before it shows up on my screen. Maybe this is a similar problem.