Patatomic and Rebecca
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
301. Henryk_ said:
Hi Nilbo, it's 4:22 pm. I dont know what has been going on during my abscence, bur it seems I have been "warned off". See #253. Is there a limit now? What happened to freedom of speech etc etc...Or should I closely peruse all entries prior to the warning?
302. Henryk_ said:
oops, six left!
303. Strizz said:
Its *cold* and dark here now. I wish spring would hurry up and come already.
304. Nilbo said:
I believe the standard Dooce response to such an order would be (now, let me see if I get this exactly right): "no ... how 'bout you SUCK IT!!"
There. You may continue with your day.
305. Henryk_ said:
Spring has sprung, while we get the start of the autumn(Fall to youse Yanks)....five left!
306. Henryk_ said:
Good night Nilbo......plesant dreams.......104++ responses left!
307. Henryk_ said:
“no … how ‘bout you SUCK IT!!â€...close , F
308. Dang Cold.. said:
henryk--don't pay too much attention to it. I certainly do.
Nilbo--cool website.
309. Dang Cold.. said:
what I meant was--post as much as you like- I certainly do.
damn vodka...
310. Nilbo said:
Night Henryk. We have a salty old saying here in Atlantic Canada: "Fill yer boots!" It means "Take all you want and a little more!"
When it comes to pleasant, funny comments - and yours are unfailingly so - I say "Fill your boots!" So, yes ... 104 + + ... and if "no" doesn't like it, I refer him or her to Google.com, which is a gateway to a billion other places he or she can visit.
311. Nilbo said:
And Dang .. thanks for your kind words ... but really ... NEVER damn vodka ...
312. eco2geek said:
OK, Henryk_, how 'bout posting some more jokes?
313. Henryk_ said:
Thanks for the supportive comments....I see I am in good company!
314. Henryk_ said:
All in good time eco2g
315. Dang Cold.. said:
A man goes moose hunting in the woods one day. After several hours he spots a huge male with massive antlers, aims, BANG!! He misses. The moose shows up behind him suddenly, bends him over and gives it to him up the wazoo.
He goes to the woods the next day wanting to find that same moose and get even. He spots him again, aims. BANG!!. He misses and, suddenly the moose grabs him from behind and gives it to him AGAIN. This time he does a real number on him and puts the hunter out of commission for a few days.
The hunter recovers and gets one early one morning and heads to the woods. He's determined to get that fucking bastard of a moose once and for all and settle the score. He spots the moose, carefully aims. Finger on the trigger. Oh sweet revenge. Here it comes. BANG BANG BANG!!. He misses AGAIN. DAMMIT!!. Moose shows up suddenly grabs him from behind and says with a smile;
"You ain't just in this for the huntin' are you boy"
Thank you my times up!!
316. eco2geek said:
An ant an an elephant start dating, fall in love, and get married. When they make love for the first time, the elephant has a heart attack and dies.
"Damn!" said the ant to himself. "Five minutes of passion, and the rest of my life digging a grave."
317. Henryk_ said:
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
318. CanadianAmy said:
Funny Dang! Except I am tired and I read 'mouse' instead of moose the first few sentences and got confused, but then I righted myself and enjoyed your little joke.
When, Dang. Is this stupid snow going to STOP.
319. Henryk_ said:
Good one eco2
320. CanadianAmy said:
Man, now there are two more jokes up there I gotta read.
321. CanadianAmy said:
Yes, henry and eco. good jokeses.
322. Henryk_ said:
Snow.......bring on the snow! (spoken by a person who was trying to surf at Collaroy Beach this morning!)
323. Strizz said:
brat
324. eco2geek said:
Jeez, here in Portland, Oregon (a town with the reputation that it rains all the time), it's been sunny and mild throughout all of February and March. The last week, it's been over 70F.
It's rained more in L.A. this winter than it has here!
325. Henryk_ said:
The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her; " where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "sniff, sniff... dad... I became a
prostitute..."
"What!!? out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"Ok, dad - as you wish. I just came back to give mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate for £5 million. For my little brother, this gold rolex, and for you daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a lifetime membership to the country
club...(takes a breath)...an invitation for you all to spend new years' eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it you said you had become?"
Girl, crying again, "sniff, sniff... a prostitute dad! .. sniff, sniff"
"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a Protestant!. come here and give your old man a hug."
326. Cathy said:
Carl, the dog, and the baby were in a department store in Spain. The have whole grocery stores, book stores, record stores, you name it, all in the same department store. I learned this on a trip from hell last summer where the tour director went balistic and told us all to go home. They had machine guns in Gibraltar--we saw the guide making a deal to buy one--I kissed the ground when I got home.
And if anyone said this before me, sorry, but the toilet was over flowing and I didn't have time to read all 325 comments.
327. eco2geek said:
Did you hear about the poor guy who had sex with a canary?
He came down with a bad case of chirpies.
The worst part is, it's untweetable.
328. Henryk_ said:
Groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!...I like it!
329. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
That is one of my favorite jokes, Henryk!
Is it me, or does Patatomic look sort of like a deranged Cabbage Patch kid in this photo? I'm sure he's a great guy, but that picture isn't doing him too much justice. I liked the photo from a couple weeks ago "Patatomic Rocks the Nana". Pat with his mouth full of food is way more attractive than this shot.
330. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Crickets...
Is everyone else asleep already?
331. GEORGE! said:
I'm awake.
332. eco2geek said:
Me too. Night owl.
Is Patatomic named after a river in Washington, D.C.?
333. Amanda B. said:
Me too...can't sleeeeep.
334. Henryk_ said:
WAKEY WAKEY RISE AND SHINE!!!
335. g-dawg said:
Phone rang at 2 a.m. EST. Wrong number. It's now 4 a.m. I can't sleep, so I figured I'd wait for the new picture of the day.
336. g-dawg said:
So what time are the news pics posted EST time? I thought it was around 3, but now I think it's later and I've got the yawns.
337. Henryk_ said:
Last night, girlfriend went to a Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest, so she pulled out a 10 note.
When the male dancer came, she licked the 10 note and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a 20 note.
She called the guy back, licks the 20 note, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of the group, the third girl pulls out a 50 note and calls the guy over, and licks the 50 note.
She became worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
Her relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to her!!!
Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging her on to try to top the 50 note.
Her brain was churning as she reached for her wallet.....what could she do??
The woman in her took over!
She got out her ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and went home!!
338. Henryk_ said:
g-dawg, that should put you back to sleep.....fast!
339. g-dawg said:
Thanks, Henry. I'm going to try the couch again.
340. Henryk_ said:
The couch???? Have you been banished to the COUCH??
341. eco2geek said:
This guy moves to a small town in Northern Idaho. His neighbors don't seem to be very welcoming and no one talks to him.
However, one night, he hears a knock on his door. He discovers his big, burly, long-haired, beared next-door neighbor on his doorstep.
The neighbor says, "I'm here to invite you to a party."
"Finally!" our guy thinks to himself, and says to the neighbor, "What are you planning?"
"Oh," says the neighbor, "there'll be lots of drinking. And fucking. And fighting."
"Sounds good," our guy says, "what should I wear?"
"Don't matter much," says the neighbor, "it's just going to be you and me."