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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. mkhett said:
me and my roomie sharky are your biggest fans! (and #1 dorks!) AND first?!
2. Kaiasmom said:
Chuck!!! First???
3. Jason said:
wow, chuck fridays started early today!
ruff!
oh, and first.
4. The Hours Slide By said:
Hello Chuck!
5. Kaiasmom said:
lol. I tried...
6. Jason said:
or not.
7. christa said:
i talk to you about jews! i'm sharky! love chuck
8. The Hours Slide By said:
Chuck is trying to look all innocent and sweet, but he's actually coming up with some sinister plots to bug Mom in his head. He must have taught Leta everything he knows!
9. The Hours Slide By said:
*cough* I meant "she." No insult meant to beautiful Leta!
10. Henryk_ said:
Sunset view from my apartment...?
11. Henryk_ said:
your appartment/flat
12. Henryk_ said:
Aha...it's a dog on a chair!
13. The Hours Slide By said:
I hate to think that Heather is already awake when I'm just going to bed. Heather, you need more sleep!
14. Kaiasmom said:
Oh I was still posting ont he other pic! Um, yeah that I was bored and decided to take random pics...
15. Regina said:
#12! the closest I've ever come to #1. When I check this out i'm usually in the hundreds.
16. The Hours Slide By said:
And yes, I'm aware of the time difference.
17. tiffi said:
top 20!!!!
18. Elli said:
I get the same look when I see Daim chocolates.
19. Henryk_ said:
..the belly looks better than the scenery!
20. Kaiasmom said:
Lol.. I can't wait to have a big belly.
21. The Hours Slide By said:
I have a big enough belly as it is. :P
22. Kaiasmom said:
But really must go to sleep now! Dooce should have a warning saying that it's to addictive to chat with other doocians on her site or something...Catch you later.4 a.m here, Night all..by the time I get up this should be well into the 100's...
23. usako said:
I still stand by my opinion that Chuck is so cute he can't be from Earth. He's an alien dog from the planet CUTESTPUPPYINTHEWORLD.
24. Henryk_ said:
i seem to remember someone telling me...."must..stop..chatting…dooce is addictive!!" Hmmmmm!!!
25. laura said:
heather, do you save your posts to publish in the middle of the night or are you actually up in the middle of the night?
it's only 0944hrs here in ireland! must be a lot earlier in utah!!
26. Henryk_ said:
usako....i love your cooked chook pic!!
27. christa said:
oh yeah. i'm also drunk. collegiate alcoholic, no therapy necessary. also i meant that i love the pic of chuck, not that i'm sending my love and my name is chuck.
28. Henryk_ said:
usako....i love your cooked chook pic!!
29. Henryk_ said:
or have I already told you that?
30. Paul said:
"heather, do you save your posts to publish in the middle of the night or are you actually up in the middle of the night?
it’s only 0944hrs here in ireland! must be a lot earlier in utah!!"
Yeah I was wondering that myself... it's gotta be the wee small hours of the morning over in your neck of the woods.
31. jenny said:
more Leta pics, please!
32. jenny said:
usako- what kind of stuffing do you have in that turkey?? it looks like a bunch of worms...
33. Charles said:
Oh Chuck, you never cease to put a smile on my face :)
34. kim said:
he's like "where's emily"?
35. coskel said:
Paul - im thinking cron job here...blurb...am i right?
And for those of you who need more Utah humor, click on my name or go here: http://blog.sentientcreations.com/?p=11
36. coskel said:
oh hey, its not my blog...i don't blog, i don't write well.
37. hannah said:
Chuck! And also, we're in the thirties! Usually at ten am it's a little quieter around these parts.
38. Liv said:
Chuck!!! I miss my dog.
39. Frally said:
That's a cute mutt if ever I saw one.
Usually I'd keep that thought to myself but the fact that I came here to find the comments under #100 was too good an opportunity to pass up.
Cute mutt, cute mutt, cute mutt!
40. Summer (the elder) said:
Ahh, the pulchritudinous pooch, presented here in pixelated perfection.
:)
41. Marline said:
Love your site, love the dog, love the kid, love you. You rock!!!You inspired me to start my own blog and I bought a Nikon Coolpix 4100 because I'm a newbie and can't handle all that camera that you have. Have a fabulous weekend!!!!!
42. Ramon said:
morning all... Marline: is your blog public? Mind if we take a look?
43. Nickie said:
Is that Leta in a Chuck costume? The naughty eyes return!!
(sidebar - clearly you need to acquire a Chuck costume for her for Halloween - or wait, a Leta costume for Chuck?)
44. Aisling said:
CUTE!!!!!
45. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who do th fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh, yeah? Ok. Huh?
46. Aimee said:
Can we get a picture of Leta and the dog?
47. kel-bel said:
cute picture
48. Henryk_ said:
I look at the dog. The dog...aka Chuck looks at me. And we simply stare at each other, each thinking...."wtf is he looking at??!!"
49. 01234 said:
Have been unable to follow comments the last few days, but am wondering if the guy from ATT has been dooced for using company email to bitch at Heather.
If so, we will need a new word for the doocelexicon (sounds like dyslexicon?). Any ideas? What's it called when you get dooced for doocing at Dooce? Double-D-Dooced?
50. Henryk_ said:
hey! What else can you expect at 10:37 pm??
51. Henryk_ said:
Indeed, a profound question, 01234!
52. Henryk_ said:
0440AM........is that GMT?
53. Ramon said:
I think it's local SLC time... what they call Mountain Time in the US
54. Henryk_ said:
OK...Thanks. Just curious.
55. Yamila said:
yeah i think we need to see a photo of Leta and the dog, To stop the myth going around that Leta and Chuck are actually the same individuals.
How do we out here in Internet land know if Chuck is ridgy didge or if Leta dresses up as Chuck, every friday for Chuck friday. Just a thought!!!
56. TS Eliot said:
Chuck
Honey dog
clipped claws on
concrete steps
into morning.
57. Ramon said:
02134: The moron whose company obviously will go bankrupt because he's spending too much time writing moronic emails that provide for great entertainment, is a AT&T Worldnet subscriber. That used to be AT&T's dialup ISP. He doesn't work at AT&T...
Having said that, wouldn't it be interesting to get his IP address from the mail headers and do a little forensic dirt digging... hmmm I wish he'd written to me :)
58. 01234 said:
*Ramon*, thanks for the explanation. I wasn't able to figure out who 'one of the world's biggest consulting compnaies' is based on the clues Heather _et al_ provided. (BTW, I do wish they would be a bit less coy about it so that we could all write to the HR/PR directors of said company.)
59. Kait said:
Chuck chuck bo-buck.......
60. karinka said:
TGICF!! I thought this suck-ass week would never end.
61. Kristen said:
the chain around his neck really makes that picture.
62. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Kristen, I think Mouse would disagree. He would probably think the chain was a symbol of Chuck's imprisonment and exploitation, and the poor bony dog's treatlessness.
63. Mouse said:
Shuck!! I hup yew gitt thatt 1 kiddee kiddee. Yew R luking viry skenny myy pur frin. I wich Hithir wuld lissin 2 mi andd dubbel yor fud. Bi peshin my frin - thar R mor dag riscuu grups furmeeng al thi tam. I haf feth thatt wi wel buth bi riscuud 1 dey.
Seerly,
Mouss.
ps. TS ILLIUT: Naw plis rit 1 gud pum abbot mi!!
64. Malthus said:
"Two people fired for this website."
65. southern fried girl said:
Such a mischievous little face. Love it.
66. Mouse said:
Uf curs hi es en chenss. Thatt es 1 sadd metiforr 4 Shuck's laf ass 1 pulitikil presinnir. As harbil as myy lif iss, evin I wer 1 nis butifel callir thatt Kivin med 4 mi. Et es lithir andd ses MOUSE en silvir and hass 2 priddy saphirre stunes. I luk su priddy andd gay en my 1 callir. Shuck R yew jilis??
67. Kait said:
Mouse... I have a pretty collar and a tasty bone for you if you go on a date with my basset hound.
68. Susie said:
Hi, Mouse! I took your advice and doubled my Very Bad Dog's food. He's still Very Bad, but he's not nearly as quick about it, so it's more manageable. And he smiles more. Thanks, Mouse!
69. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Mouse! Yo buddy, I bought two of your gud t-shirts this week, and wore your "Fat thi Pawer" shirt to work. Everyone was SO JILLIS!
70. Jess said:
(sung to the tune of THE NAME SONG.):
I've got a name....I've got a name and my name is CHUUUUUUUUCK....chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuuuuuuuuuuck.
71. Mouse said:
Sussie am su gladd thengs R bettir. Ef hi es steel beeng badd yew R nat fiding hem ennuf. Tray mor andd si watt heppens. Am gladd 2 hir hi es heppy! Yew R 1 spishil nas leddy 2 du thi rat theng!
Beckky I bit thiy R su JILIS and sadd becass yew luk su cul! Am viry gladd yew lak yor cul steff I mid.
72. Henryk_ said:
What am I doing wrong??? I can't understand a thing Mouse is saying?!!
73. Spurious Plum said:
Chuck acutally looks like just got busted, like 'No way! I didn't mess with the bathroom trash. THat was Leta!'
74. Susie said:
Hey, Mouse, that's a good T-shirt slogan: du thi rat theng! I think you're a genius.
75. Maeby said:
Does the person who says "first" and isn't REALLY first ever feel really stupid? i would....
i feel stupid now...
76. Susie said:
Henryk, read it out loud. That's the key to Mousian, I've found.
77. theTattooedSocialWorker said:
I know that look. That's the look my beagle gives me when I'm about to discover that she's pooped in the closet.
78. Kait said:
Oh, come on Mouse! My basset is very eligible. Her turn-ons include sitting on the couch, jumping in empty bathtubs and pooping behind the garage. She's also a French girl, if you CATSCH MI DRIFT!
79. Henryk_ said:
ok, I get it. Derrrrrrrrr
80. Patrick the Lurker said:
T.G.I.C.
Friday... the best day of the week.
Why don't Fridays roll around as often as Mondays ?
81. CanadianAmy said:
I liked TS Eliot's poem.
Chucks nose looks like a black leather S&M ball.
That's all I got.
82. Mouse said:
KET! Think yew 4 thatt 1 nis affir. I dun't cash yor dreft abbot hir been Frinsh. Duss thatt min shi wel breng mi frinsh tust? I lov 2 eet thatt tust. Bet 2 bi annist I dun't rilly lak 2 det ethir daggs or pipel. My hart belangs 2 1 leddy nem Pressela. I amm viry hart brukin becass shi gat mirrid and wun't see mi annimor.
Bet mebbe... mebbe ef I sind hir yor dagg's peeshir shi wul bi jilis! And lif hir stupped hesbind 4 mi! Ett es a PIRFIC PLENN.
83. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Mouse, I'm sure Priscilla is just playing "hard to get." That restraining order is just her way of flirting with you.
Oh, and you can call me for bail if she decides to have you busted again.
84. Susie said:
Bucky, you're the cutest egotistical cow I've ever seen. I woulda said so, yesterday, but I've been banned from commenting on you site. And also, from every other site in the world except this one. Probably for being NASTY!
85. Kait said:
Ooooh mouse. PIRIFIC PLENN it is. Here is a peeshir.
http://www.simsanity.com/images/DCP_0419.JPG
86. Sarah m said:
CHUCK!
87. the niffer said:
Mouse - Any girl dog that dumps you simply has no taste. If I was a dog, I would marry you in a heartbeat.
Chuck looks like carmel. Mmmmm. Carmel.
I love Chuck and Mouse. RUFF!
88. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Susie -- Moooooooo! I sure hope blogger comments gets well this weekend. I'm jonesin' without my comment section. However, I refuse to bitch too hard about the performance of a free service. :)
And you could only get banned from my site if you weren't nasty enough.
89. Susannah said:
THANK UPPERCASE GOD! Its FINALLY Chuck Friday. (And that's uppercase Chuck too by the way!)
And whoever it was that brought up the thought about Chuck and Leta actually being the same adorably cute beings...hmmm...you may be onto something there...
90. Mo said:
Yeah, 01234, I've wondered what it would called if someone got fired for READING Dooce at work. Is that, like, Dooced-once-removed?
Cause seriously, I'm not sure my job is worth not reading Dooce. Hmmmm...read Dooce...stay employed...read Dooce...stay employed...this is a tough one.
91. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
I'm so glad it's Chuck Friday. I thought this day would never come.
92. A.O.K. said:
Woo Hoo! Chuck Friday!
93. Lisa said:
I read Dooce at work everyday.
94. brandy said:
Everytime I see Chuck I get all sad that I cant spend all day with my pooglins...who looks like a bigger female Chuck. But then Im happy cos I get to see Chuck.
95. greenthumb said:
Holy crap...I'm in the top 100. Now I'm going back to bed. (sniffle, cough) see you later.
96. Stacy said:
Top 100! I've been waiting for this day since I got kicked off the cool kids' lunch table in high school.
Oh, wait, that wasn't me. I was NEVER at the cool kids table.
Hey, Chuck. 'Ssup?
97. Susannah said:
No worries Stacy, the cool table was HIGHLY overrated. Bunch of clones. I didn't last long either.
98. Squish said:
Uh...is it Friday already? What happened to Wednesday and Thursday?
Chuck looks like he's thinking: Who me? I didn't do it.
99. Denise said:
Made it in the first 100 - gonna be a good day.
100. sue said:
dooce,
are you going to have "your people" spread hate everytime somebody looks at you sideways? for being so intelligent and "open", you seem to be really intolerant of anybody who doesn't believe your way of thinking. go hug a tree or something. quit being so dang mean.
101. Strizzf-ingblah said:
Does Chuck have his leg up?
102. darthmiles said:
"who me, no I wasn't licking limpy, no siree, not me, no, no, no.
um, well ok, maybe just a little."
103. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
That is certainly the face of an avid nad licker.
Another thing I love about that dog.
104. Marcia said:
re #100- From Dooce's FAQ
Should I send you unsolicited advice?
No.
105. Melanie S. said:
Eva sends Chucke all of her love.
She wants to share her dog cookies with him!
Mouse, come see our Eva!
106. Sarah said:
Chuck thinking "You're going to squeeze my *what*??"
Happy Chuck Friday!
107. lawbrat said:
Chuck is so dang cute! By the way...over 100 already? you guys get up way too early. :-)
108. Anita said:
Dooce--
Can we get an update on Matt Compensating for his small Dick Jackson?
What happened? Did he come back grovelling for mercy??
I'm dying to know!
109. Emily in China said:
Has anyone ever commented on his striking resemblence to Santa's Little Helper?
If so.. I apologize for knowing that before posting this.
110. Emily in China said:
resemblance
Teaching English .. yet I can't spell.
111. Closet Metro said:
I luv Mouse.
112. Wicked H said:
Phew...It's Chuck Friday. And not a moment too soon!
Happy Friday one and all.
Woof!
113. Circus Kelli said:
Dang Cold -- Sue #100 is using your name in vain. I just wanted you to know...
114. Circus Kelli said:
Yippee! Chuck Friday! That dog has great bone structure. He should be in pictures... oh wait... carry on.
115. smacks said:
What kind of dog is Chuckles?
116. Your Mom said:
Uh, yeah.
TOP 200! BAM!
Hi, everyone.
117. Nilbo said:
Mouse - I'm curious to know your views on the scandalous picture of Chuck and Limpy ...
118. LadyBug said:
Awww, sweet Chuck.
This morning my 8-year-old daughter looked out the back door at our yellow lab, then quickly turned away and said, "EW! Trooper's licking his....THING!"
119. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Why does someone as annoying as Sue get the honor of being #100? And why do the ass trolls that hate Dooce feel it is necessary to leave comments on her site?
120. kieran said:
Dog looks mean...mean like a rabbit!
121. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Chuckles has to be the cutest doggie in the world. He still has that little puppy face. And that big black nose - I just want to eat it up!
Chuck Fridays - Now one more reason to look forward to the end of the week.
122. smacks said:
You want to eat Chuck's nose?
123. Nilbo said:
KBBAW - my take on the ass trolls is that they can't stand people talking about Dooce or Chuck or Mouse or .. well, anyone but them. So they come in, rag for a few sentences ... and we oblige.
124. Susie said:
Last night a troll came here to the playground. Some kids ran away or got very quiet. Some of us just kept talking as though the troll weren't here. Only a couple spoke to the troll. My mom told me it's better to ignore trolls. I'm 6 this morning. I'm usually about 6 when I'm here. I really should see someone about this.
125. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Yes Nilbo, it does make for some fun conversation. And it is always fun to say ASS TROLL!
Smacks - Chuck's nose looks very scrumptious!!!
126. Circus Kelli said:
Susie, you're 6? Cool. I'm 7! :)
127. smacks said:
Can someone tell me what kind of dog he is?
128. Susie said:
Nobody says ASS TROLL quite like you, Katiebbaw!
129. Mouse said:
Nilbu, watt peeshir R yew talkinn abbot? Gif mi 1 lenk andd I wel til yew watt I thenk abbot itt. I hup et ess nat 1 skirry peeshir 4 mi!
Mebbe #100 Su es tallkin abbot way es Hithir su intallerint 2 Shuck 4 hafeeng defrint bilifs abbot haw dags nid 2 bi tritid. I egree thatt Hithir es 2 min 2 thatt pur dag.
130. Vanessa said:
Oh! If I were a kitty I'd be looking for a tree to climb!
131. Susie said:
CK, I could tell you were about a year cooler.
132. Jenie said:
Yay...I forgot it was Chuck Friday...my day is better already!
(and is it bad that I still haven't figured out what company matt jackson works for?? Not that I want to spam him or anything...I'm just feeling a little dimwitted! It happens often!) ;o)
133. becaru said:
I would LOVE to get Chuck together with my dog, Rusty. They could run the Sheba-500 together in our back yard.
TGICF.
134. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I think Chuck is some sort of terrier mutt. But I personally think mutts are way smarter than purebreds. And WAY cuter.
135. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Thanks, Susie. I have definitely had a lot of practice using the term around here lately! But there are definitely more fun people that visit than ass trolls, thank UPPERCASE GOD!!!
136. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Mouse:
The scandalous picture is here:
http://crazyus.textamerica.com/?r=2168767
The story is here:
http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/03_09_2005.html
137. Claude said:
"Here, kitty kitty" is the punchline.
The setup is..."What does a 500-pound mouse say?"
Thank you, I'll be here all week. /TGIF
138. Strizzf-ingblah said:
Katiebbaw likes to _trol asses_ NOT the same thing..mmhmmm
139. smacks said:
He's just so slick looking. Kitty, kitty.
140. Nilbo said:
Mouse: Here is one link for you: http://crazyus.textamerica.com/?r=2168767
The picture is not scary, but you may not approve of Chuck's behaviour.
141. Circus Kelli said:
Jenie, you are not the only one who does not know where Matt You-Know-Who works.
Susie, wow, thanks. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day. I think you're cool enough to be, like, 7-1/2! Definitely.
142. Sissychong said:
Go Get'em Chuckles!
143. Nilbo said:
Having said that, I acknowledge that Chuck is a (clearly) consenting adult dog and who he licks and snuffles and where he licks or snuffles them is OK with me. And when people are so mean to dogs, not feeding them all the time and not letting them sleep on the bed and saying "No!" and "Bad dog!" all the time, I can understand how they can look for the emotional support they need from other dogs.
144. Gooooder said:
WOOT TO CHUCK FRIDAY!
145. bethy-mae said:
Thank you Susie for playing so well with others. I too prefer to ignore trolls.
Hey Claude here's one for you.
What did the snail say when he took a ride on the turtle's back?
weeeeee!
146. Natalie said:
What a gorgeous doggie...
147. annabelle said:
What is a troll?
148. Mouse said:
I dun't si innitheng rang wit thatt pishir. Didd yew gif mi thee rang lenk? Mebbe yew mint 2 lenk 2 1 peeshir ef Shuck with 1 catt?
149. Dr. Laura's Worst Nightmare said:
Chuck chuck bo buck
Banana fana fo...
150. Pixie said:
Can never have too many Chuck photos.
151. Jodi who blogs said:
Run Kitty RUN! Chuckles is coming to get you! :)
152. Anita said:
I don't know either, but I suspect he works in "the business" in Los Angeles. I found someone with his name who worked with children's talent. And if it's the same person, he took a new position in 2004. Not sure though....
I just want to hear that he cried uncle and apologized to Dooce. Or that he's in trouble with his company, the sexist git.
153. Nilbo said:
Well, Mouse, some people thought it was scandalous that Chuck was licking that one dog. In that one place.
As for a picture of Chuck with one cat ... THAT would be sick and scary.
154. Girl troy said:
Hey! You guys up top know that when you post, the number is right there beside your comment, don't you? You don't really need to announce it. I'm just sayin'.
155. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Chuck's nose is HUGE! Is he Jewish? I'm Jewish and I have a huge nose, too. L'chaim, Chuck. Let's get together and have some gefilte fish some time. Again, L'chaim.
156. Susannah said:
Please help me. I have THE MOST unfortunate song stuck in my head and I don't know where it came from. Um...(I'm so embarrassed) anyone remember the song "Buffalo Stance" by Neenah Cherry? Yeah...
157. Nilbo said:
And Dr. Laura's Worst Nightmare? Thank you SO much for blessing me with that song reverberating through my head, as it will for the next 12 hours.
158. Nilbo said:
Susannah, I feel your pain. Here, try this: "Doe, a deer, a female deer ..."
Does that help?
159. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I like to troll asses? Hmmm...
Trolls (or ass trolls) are people that lurk around dooce's site and pop out at random times and say nasty things.
There was also a troll in the movie Cat's Eye who would come out from inside the wall and suck the air out of Drew Barrymore's nose. That was scaarrry.
160. Brandon said:
Dogs LOVE IT when you call them Kitty. It ranks right up there with pretending to throw the stick when it's really hidden behind your back.
161. Nilbo said:
I do, however, approve of trolls who suck the air from Drew Barrymore. Just as a general principle.
162. Closet Metro said:
Susannah -
squak...squak...Get Funky!
(Sorry. I am evil with the earworms.)
163. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Yes, I can agree that adult Drew Barrymore pretty irritating and deserves to have the air sucked out of her by a troll, especially after making movies like "Riding in Cars with Boys". But little kid Drew Barrymore was so cute, even though she was probably already an alcoholic when she was in that movie Cat's Eye. It scared the shiznit out of me when I was 6 years old and watched that movie .
164. Lallaloolly said:
What a nose!
165. Kendra at the Lakehead said:
Hey...I like Drew!! Come on, we all loved Ever After, right???
How I adore Cinderella stories..
166. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Susannah --
Who's that gigolo on the street
With his hands in his pockets and his crocodile feet?
Hangin' off the curb
Lookin' all disturbed
At the boys from home, they all came runnin'
They were makin' noise
Manhandlin' toys
Just the girls on the block with the nasty curls
Wearin' padded bras
Suckin' beer through straws
Droppin' down their drawers
Where did you get yours, gigolo?
167. Susannah said:
Thanks Nilbo, that may possibly help. And Closet Metro...that is the one of the exact parts of the song stuck in my head. That and "The guys a gigilo maaaan!"
ARGH!!!!!!!
168. spoonleg said:
CHUUUUUUUUUCK! Will you marry me?
169. Susannah said:
Bucky...you may quite possibly be the devil. And I love you for it.
170. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Spoonie, you're awfully liberal with the applicaton of unholy mattressmony, ain'tcha?
Not that I mind sharing your sweet, fine ass with Chuck, of course.
171. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
It's best not to ever feed trolls. That way they find a different bridge to live under. Back to Chuck? Do we think he truly was a gay man in a former life? He's stylish, alert, affectionate yet regal, there's lots of anal talk regarding him, and then there was that cameraphone picture yesterday? And how does he react to A-1 bottles? Case closed!
172. spoonleg said:
Don't get jealous, bucky. There's plenty of room on our queen-sized mattress for Chuckles. Plus his nose is all wet and slippery and we both know how that might come in handy...
173. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I make a move, nothin' left to chance.
So don't
Get fresh
With me
174. Monkey Poundcake said:
That kid wears A LOT of eyeliner. Dang.
175. cat said:
Drew lets her pits get wild and hairy, then wears strappy gowns. Now that's a REAL woman...
176. mrtl said:
Oh my. You don't talk to mothers about oral. You just don't. It's funny as hell, but wrong.
177. Kait said:
I'm still trying to find a date for my basset. I know Senor Chuckles is smitten with Emily, his star-crossed lover, and Mouse is trying to win back Priscilla.. are there any single canines left?!
178. cat said:
You go, girlfriend! Get down with your hairy ass self!
(#1 in the Drew Barrymore Fan Posse)
179. cat said:
I had almost graduated high school before it was brought to my attention that oral sex DIDN'T mean talkin' dirty. No, really.
180. mrtl said:
Katie-bbaw. Just so you know, since I don't have the time or energy to catch up on comments, I just did a search for "ass troll."
Susie's right. Ass trolls should be ignored. Unless they won't let you cross over the bridge before answering their three questions.
What's you favorite color?
Blue! No!! Yellow!!
Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!
As you were.
181. emily said:
Dooce, the Internet hears you. We support you in your time of Cretaceous Cysts and alternative birth control strategies. In return for this support, I think you might have to post...wait for it... a *picture of the cyst* in order to secure full sympathy.
I'm just curious how even a seasoned photog like yourself would get a good shot of the back of your leg.
Think about it.
*picture of the cyst!*
*picture of the cyst!*
(come on, everybody now...)
*picture of the cyst!*
;-)
182. mrtl said:
I don't see any other comments on Dooce's new post. Aren't you checking??
183. Susannah said:
Dooce, I would ask if you talk to your mother with that mouth but apparently...yes, you do!
184. cat said:
I, for one, would definitely NOT like to see the cyst.
Um, ew?
185. Heather K said:
185th??
I always look forward to a Friday Chuck!
186. Kassi said:
I'm not interested in seeing your cyst...but I feel bad, because I know that they can be painful bothersome. I personally would be apt to gouge it out myself because I wouldn't be able to wait a week. It would just annoy me...I have no stamina or self control in those matters.
187. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I would presume, then, Heather, that you don't discuss the age-old "Spit or Swallow?" quandary with your mom?
188. Spurious Plum said:
Bucky, C'mon, Heather's classy! My money's on swallow.
189. kristine said:
It's Friday!
It's BLOGGER SUCKS ASS FRIDAY.
I got up this morning and checked my page and NO COMMENTS...I thought I was unloved or unfunny...and then I clicked "O COMMENTS" and I realized...
BLOGGER SUCKS ASS.
190. southern fried girl said:
Heather,
Your story today talking to your mother about the oral almost made me spit diet Coke at my monitor. You are beyond hilarious. I love that you get off on shocking your parents. I thought I was the only girl who was still that immature. :P
191. Squish said:
Can we see a picture of the cyst?
192. TulsaOkie said:
OMG Dooce, how can you say such a thing to your mother?!! I would die if those words ever left my mouth in the company of my mother. You've got some big 'ol balls there girly!!
It is indeed a Happy Chuckles Friday, because I'M AT HOME instead of at work.
193. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Conversation in my head:
Heather: You want a picture of my cyst? What the fuck is *wrong* with you people? (camera shutter clicks madly)
Me: Yes, we'd love it if you'd post a picture of it.
Heather: Are you sure?
Me: I incyst.
194. smacks said:
Go, Dooce! Your Mom knows how you are, so why act any diffent?
195. Squish said:
The chant goes up:
"cyst, cyst, cyst..."
196. mrtl said:
Can we name the cyst? Cyster Sludge?
197. cat said:
Does everyone here spit-take Diet Coke? I'm a Diet Dr. Pepper gal, myself.
198. Spurious Plum said:
Bucky -You must recyst the temptation to make cyst jokes. People might get picyst.
199. Squish said:
or
"cyster, cyster"
200. cat said:
Cyster Cyster
She's not fat, she's my cyster
Cyst This!
201. domino said:
I have a benign lump in my boob called Myrtle...
202. cat said:
D'oh! Squish!
203. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Lord help the mister
Who comes between me and my cyster
And lord help the cyster
Who comes between me and my man
204. domino said:
I'm not kidding, either!
mrtl, I just noticed your name! *scares self*
205. smacks said:
Show Me The CYST!
206. Susannah said:
cat--you aren't alone, I, too, am a Diet Dr. Pepper girl. I'm a pepper, you're a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?
(Hmm...that's only marginally better than Buffalo Stance.)
207. Spurious Plum said:
C'mon people, cease and decyst!
208. Kait said:
Right on, cyster.
209. cat said:
Twisted Cyster
210. mrtl said:
domino - My name is not Myrtle... I am not your benign boob cyst. (That's one for the list of random quotes, no?)
211. stella said:
Heather, you crack my ass up! All the time! of France !!!!
212. cat said:
Okay Mr. T, um L? If you incyst.
213. Closet Metro said:
Please, for the love of Uppercase GOD, no cyst pictures.
214. Colleen from NJ said:
my cystem is so slow today.
215. smacks said:
Excuse me? I need some acystance here.
216. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Plum - laughing my cysts off!
Susannah -- Would you prefer Buffalo Cyst?
217. mrtl said:
cat/Myrtle - Madden Round the Land
218. cat said:
Dooce, The Cyst Slayer
219. kristine said:
You guys are killing me!
I incyst. DAMN that's funny!
Soul Cysta
That's all, i'll stop now.
220. cat said:
I need to slay me some ovarian cysts.
Oh, TMI?
221. Gooooder said:
ahahahahahahahahhaahaa
well, there is also one other orifice aside from the mouth that is an option.
222. smacks said:
bum bum
223. cat said:
Goooooooder, you nasty, cystah.
224. Danielle said:
I LOVE CHUCK!!!!!!!
225. Colleen from NJ said:
ewww. the bottom cystem?
226. Spurious Plum said:
Thanks for the asscystance, Bucky!
Ha. Ass-cyst. Ha.
227. domino said:
mrtl -
it would have made a good blog entry - "I have someone off the internet LIVING IN MY BOOB"
228. Mamaramma said:
You cyst punsters are hilarious! I'm still working on coffee cup #1, and my brain is far behind you. As far as joking about oral sex with your mom - I couldn't even imagine it. Of course, my mom's a nun.
Just kidding
229. kristine said:
Cyster Act - Back in the Habit
Heather takes a look at her inperfections...and then takes it on the road!
230. amelia said:
I bet John was so darn happy to hear the change in sexual adventures for the next week! I thought women gave that up after the wedding... Can you tell I am a girl who likes girls???
231. Spurious Plum said:
Mammarama - You're too kind, but if these compliments percyst, you'll make me all narcisscystic.
232. Mamaramma said:
Spurious - HA! Keep 'em comin'! That is, until you get them out of your cystem!
233. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
The juxtaposition of an entry about blowjobs and a picture of a dog with a big, wet, black nose is making me really uncomfortable right about now. :)
234. cristin said:
B4E and Plum and all of you that have probably started up about the cyst since I started my post:
If you percyst, I will probably hurl and then go tell my mommy on you! How's that for a 7 1/2 year old CK?
235. Floyd said:
Bucky! Excellent! Oh, and Heather, you need to use back-up for this whole cycle, ya know, not just a week. Yay for Jon, I guess, and YOU, if he does the right thing.
236. cristin said:
oh Plum you got there first, oh well, I though I was smart for a while.........
237. heather deeeee said:
thanks for the hardest, loudest laugh i have had in awhile.
your mouth.
hahahahahaha
238. cristin said:
kristine said at 08:42AM, 03.11.2005:
It’s Friday!
It’s BLOGGER SUCKS ASS FRIDAY.
I got up this morning and checked my page and NO COMMENTS…I thought I was unloved or unfunny…and then I clicked “O COMMENTS†and I realized…
BLOGGER SUCKS ASS.
Yeah Kristine, and I so wanted to post to SEVERAL of my favorite sites today, but evidently blogger thinks noe of you exist!
BTW Kristine, thanks for the 'adopt-a-blog' My stats have gone through the roof. Since I can't thank you on your own blog--- thanks again! <3
239. mrtl said:
Gooder - Come on! You know that the other hole is for the A1.
240. Spurious Plum said:
Cristin - Don't hurl! We can coexcyst! What exactly should our next topic concyst of?
The meaning of excystence?
Music? (My favorit basscyst is David Grohl)
How to subcyst oon nothing but mustard and golfish crackers for 3 weeks?
I just wanna make you happy, Cystin!
241. cristin said:
oh yeah, and in response to 10234
to be fired for reading/posting/commenting etc at Dooce.com= Dooced-by-proxy
don't remember who came up with it tho
242. cristin said:
SUPREME Plum...
BWAH HAH HAH HA
that is all :)
243. mrtl said:
domino - Let's have a philosophical moment. How do you know you don't already have a blogger in your boob? How do you know that you're boob is not a galaxy unto itself, housing its own planets and life forms?
244. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
You are awesome, Heather! I can so imagine me saying that to my mom and hearing her gasp - then giggle. I, for one, would rather get pregnant than use my mouth as a backup - UPPERCASE GOD knows that is my least favorite, um, way of doing it.
Getting lances cysted really sucks! My mom had this weird cyst on her back that kept getting stuck in her bra, and when they "cysted" it, she said all sorts of weird crustaceous goo came out. And she said it was DEEP, too - those cysts go down deep!!! YUCK!!!
245. Kelly said:
I burst out laughing here at work after reading your last entry Heather, I have a few puzzled co-workers instant messaging me with "WTF? You gotta share..." Your fan base in East Coast Canada is about to expand.
Keep up the great writting, enjoy it daily.
246. lawbrat said:
Spurious Plum: I cant leave comments on your blog!!
I, too, want a picture of the cyst
247. kristine said:
You are welcome Cristin!
Since BLOGGER SUCKS ASS you can leave like 15 messages when it starts working. That might make me feel better.
I have become a my-blog-comment-whore.
I used ass and whore before 9am.
It's going to be a good day.
248. Spurious Plum said:
Lawbrat - Blogger's being completely evil. If you like, you can email me at spuriousplum@gmail.com.
249. Spurious Plum said:
Lawbrat - PS your blog's hysterical.
250. Closet Metro said:
Spurious Plum, you are the wittiest fruit in all of blogsphere. I bow to your cunning linguistics.
251. kristine said:
The TiVO installer guy is here.
He had made his way into the backyard to check out the cable situation.
I'm pretty sure you'll see me on the news:
"Cable guy gets eaten by weeds after tripping over a hidden table saw and knocks himself out on long missing shovels"
252. jw said:
You'd have to go that route next week anyway. You know, the holiday? The Men's Valentines day? You KNOW what I'm talking about don't you?
http://www.steakandbjday.com/
253. greenthumb said:
kristine: I'm right there with you, my validation and my power all seem to stem from comments...which is why I'm weak this morning, needing two hands to lift the coffee cup.
Must. Have. Comments...baaaack!
254. Spurious Plum said:
CM - Thanks much. I love messing around with words.
And yeah, I'm good at that cunning linguistics thing too...hee.
255. kristine said:
Greenthumb,
You shouldn't talk to me. I saw your blog and I am SO not even worthy. If you saw my backyard you would be OUTRAGED!
I don't realize how bad it is until someone has to go back there.
I swear I don't deserve a backyard.
256. jules said:
Laugh.. it hink it's funny that most ppl are all like, OMG i can't believe you said that to your mom!
it makes me laugh because that's omething my mom would say TO ME!
I love my family!
(:3
257. Spurious Plum said:
Lawbrat - got your email how did you get booze last night? By foot? By car? By unicycle?
258. greenthumb said:
I'm sure it can't be THAT bad. Can it? I'm glad you like my blog, and I hope to have a lot of fun with Project Greenthumb.
As for the worthiness, my little subjects of the botanical kingdom...your humble appreciation and COMMENTS will suffice...for now. (he he he hehe he)
259. cristin said:
greenthumb said at 09:30AM, 03.11.2005:
kristine: I’m right there with you, my validation and my power all seem to stem from comments…which is why I’m weak this morning, needing two hands to lift the coffee cup.
Must. Have. Comments…baaaack!
I so totally agree guys, and I have only been posting for a week. I actually took the risky step of asking for *assvice* today, too. Guess I won't be getting any.
(assvice that is)
sigh
260. cristin said:
must...stop...hitting...f5...time to pick up kiddo...stop
261. Peter Hentges said:
You can't talk about that stuff to the Internet. We'd never listen and would be shocked by the very idea.
262. lawbrat said:
Booze, brought over by cool ass boyfriend. He even brought cheeze! I was very happy.
263. Spurious Plum said:
Jules - Lucky! I'm afraid of my Mom. When I was a kid, she constantly threatened to sell me to the gypsies. Somebody had a pony at their birthday party and I cried inconsolably for 4 hours, somehoe equating ponies with the local gypsy population.
People listen up: 4 year olds dont GET sarcasm.
Peter H- What stuff? Mouth stuff?
264. greenthumb said:
Lawbrat...who hosts your blog for you?
265. Torrie said:
Dooce, Antibiotics don't actually affect Birth control pills. Apparently, woman who got pregnant while on antibiotics were found to have missed some of their birth control pills. There have been several lawsuits so now the doctors say " use a backup" to cover their asses. As long as you don't miss any pills and take them around the same time every day, you should be baby free.
If you get pregnant, I'll take the baby- and name it George.
266. Spurious Plum said:
I meant someHOW not some hoe. Although, ponies sometimes remind me of hoes...and gypsies...In a good way, of course.
Lawbrat - Good boyfriend. Pet him where it counts.
267. carson said:
I'm having to recyst making some bad puns. I need some acystance! But please decyst from showing it, Heather, it would send me into acystole.
Glad to know that it's not just me whose getting no blogger comments.
268. Nilbo said:
In a variation on Kristine's "Adopt-a-Blogger" concept, I used this comment space to say something nice about one of Kristine's posts, and she made a comment on my blog thanking me, and then Kelly (#245) went off to read Kristine's post and commented on THAT comment ... and ... well, it's all too meta, but ... ain't it nice when people use this medium to make other people feel good? As opposed to the other day, when there was a lot of umm less nice stuff happening and the comments here came down and we all had to, like, actually become temporarily productive members of society?
On an unrelated note, Bucky: you can have your rolling pin back. The splinters are all smoothed out. I have a rough tongue.
269. laurenbove said:
Katie-be...I loved cat's eye because the cat (love cats) was the hero and the stoopid parents kept throwing him outside. I was all "noooooo, let the kitty stay in, he's gooood!) Super silly but scary movies like that are great when you're bored.
What a pretty dog. Sweet face.
270. lawbrat said:
A question for the genius bloggers out there...how do you get a short video thing from your email to post on your blog? Ive tried a few things, IT WONT WORK! I'm so lost and confused....
271. tools said:
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/dodge88.html
Anyone looking for an '88 Dodge Aries?
272. TexaRican said:
Okay, don't know if you guys saw this, but it's about the funniest unintentionally dirty photo ever.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/050306/483/fljc112030623...
273. santa cruz carolina said:
i love chuck! he's so cute!!
274. vmc said:
Sometimes his ears look sooooo small in comparison to his head. Must be the angle. Chuck always seems so larger than life in these pictures and posts, I wonder if he's a medium sized dog in real life.
275. mrtl said:
TexaRican, that's the kind of picture I'd expect to see on Girl.A's site.
276. greenthumb said:
TexaRican:
LMFAO!!! That's funny!
277. lawbrat said:
TexaRican: OMG! Too Funny!!
278. mrtl said:
tool - give me your email and I'll send it to you
279. TexaRican said:
Hmmmmm. Mrtl is that a good thing or bad? Never been at A's site....
280. mrtl said:
TexaRican - http://someadventure.blogspot.com/
281. Brooklyn Julie said:
Chuck! I have this image in my head that when Chuck enters a room, everyone says "Chuck!" like they used to on "Cheers" when Norm would come in.
Not so much though, right?
282. Annejelynn said:
he is just such a cutie
283. Lisa said:
YAY for Chuck Fridays!! :D
284. Susan said:
I second Torrie on the antibiotics thing. There's one kind of antibiotics that reduces the effectiveness of hormonal contraceptives, but it is no longer being used for other reasons (like... it fucks with your hormone levels.) So just take all yer pills, and use a back up method if you're paranoid.
285. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Lauren, I loved that cat, too. If those lame parents only knew that there was a scaarry troll in the wall, they would have thought twice about tossing him out the door. I still sometimes wonder if I have trolls in my wall. Or fraggles. Remember the fraggles?
286. Spurious Plum said:
Down at Fraggle Rock!
::Clap, Clap::
287. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Nilbo -- got a rough tongue?
Like a cat's little sandpaper tongue?
*shivers*
Man, I miss having cats.
288. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
CLAP CLAP! That show rocked. And 3,2,1 Contact - that was pretty spiffy, too.
289. mrtl said:
I was of the Great Space Coaster generation.
290. Spurious Plum said:
3,2,1 Contact rocked mylittle nerdy-kid world!
291. TexaRican said:
My fave shows were two that hardly anyone has heard of (and YES they were real!):
1. Vegetable Soup - The funky soul side of the Electric Company
2. Tomorrow People - Cool BBC mutant teens
292. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Youse guys are babies.
My substitute teat was Electric Company.
Gotta love that pre-Oscar Morgan Freeman.
293. Anne said:
I think Dooce is one potty-mouth away from having a real chance at becoming Mrs. Utah.
294. Spurious Plum said:
I liked Captain Kangaroo too, but ping-pong balls now hold an entirely different meaning for me.
Like, a dirty meaning.
295. mrtl said:
B4E, I loved EC too. Remember the Electricity Song? (EEEE lectricity, EEEE lectricity. Where does it come from? How does it work and how does it get to meeee, meee, meee?)
296. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Plum -- I have it on the best of authority that each and every ping pong ball used on the set of Captain Kangaroo spent at least 20 minutes wedged between Mr. Green Jeans' ass cheeks.
297. Melanie S. said:
Heather, I accidentally told my mother that ny husband and I came home one night and had sex on his motorcycle.
Oops!
I'm sure the former preachers wife l-o-v-e-d that!
298. kristine said:
Cristin-
I LOVE your blog!
Now I just need to show you how to add one so you can adopt a blog too.
I'm into the fabulous widow blog. Funny and heartwarming.
I trying to remember the blog of the woman who likes the book, "He's not really into you" or something like that. I liked her blog, but I lost it in the fixing of my links.
Sorry so late to post, the Tivo guy came.
I had to kiss him on the mouth because I was so happy.
299. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Kristine -- did the TiVo guy make your pee-pee tingle?
300. laurenbove said:
Katie: Fraggels Rock! (hee hee) Ooooh those parents made me so mad. I had no idea anyone else saw that movie.
My daily and inevitable nonsequeter:
Has anyone seen Grey Gardens? I want to buy it on DVD. It's very freaky. I think I'll do a post about it next week. realllllly creeepy...but true.