First?

that's a lot of hair

hmm...too dark to be chuck's, too light to be jon's, too thick to be leego boingy ponytails, looks as though it has survived transformations to and from septic poopy tank red. can't wait to see the new makeoover, the suspense is killing me!

Your hair? A new style? We need pictures!!

top ten? could it be?

Hmmm. Nude Ewok? Where can I get me one of those?

Samson...

My Catholic catechism classes are coming back to me...

Little dark rooms, priests taking off their clothes..
no, not those memories!

Bow-string, ropes, looms...
Ah yes.
Delilah, he must truly love you.

EEWWWWWWWWW I hate seeing hair cut off. I didn't look when I went to the hairdressers to have 8 inches off my hair!!

Ooh, I need to do that to my husband's hair soon. It's getting out of control.

Wow, I bet bald people all over the planet would kill for that!

i bet my poor balding father would pay good money for all that hair....

will you take a check?

WOOHOO top 30 ! go laura. thats a lotta hair :-)

Wait! Beard or no beard??

Nahhh that can't be the beard and what Samson got cut off was his hair, wasn't it?
How about you are really nice and show us another pic that sheds some light into this? Pretty please?

I can never bear to look at my hair when it's been cut off. Even if it's a trim, I have so much hair that it looks like I should by all rights be bald.

Oh my goodness, that is a lot of hair. This is also the earliest I have been up in a WHILE. :)

Is that a shaven beard? Or is Leta bald now?

Leta is bald now and living in a commune way out west!

too late.....sean sheep!

eeep look at all that hair!! you could make a fortune selling that!! heheheh cant wait to see the new do!!

Thanks me, glad to see someone with a sense of humor at this hour.

Would I totally ruin it by saying it's 5:41 p.m. in these parts...?
But I'm so with it and witty in the a.m. too.... I promise!!!!

Ahhhh. Brazilian. Harry, that one's gonna keep me chuckling for a while.

Dooce - have you guys recently entered a witness protection program?

The word shorn makes me laugh. My hubby's idea of romance is to whisper softly: "Nothing says 'I love you' like a shorn scrotum."

Ahhh yes, short back and sides down in the nether regions!

Who the poor bugger thats got to go and get the plunger and unclog it all??!!

the silence was deafening. Almost 11:30 Sun....time to rest the head!

Holy Chewbacka!

As a bald man, I must protest this bold display of casualness toward hair. Hair is a resource that must be protected, not flung aside like a condom wrapper.

tangent jump:
just read on another blog *"ten things I've done that you probably havent"* - I thought it would make a great topic for this gang.

Here are mine:

1- fallen UP a flight of stairs without spilling my drink.
2- drove 25 hours listening to the entire Ring cycle and didnt kill anyone
3- lost my virginity to identical twins (one gentleman had an appendectomy scar, otherwise, IDENTICAL)
4- played out a real-life version of COPS in San Diego when my cop roommate (dressed in leather pants, no shoes and no shirt) stops the car in the middle of the street, grabs a gun and gives me the handcuffs as we run down the street after some criminal he knew. (side note - we were on our way home from the bar where he was just voted "Gay Man of the Year" - I was the only woman in there)
5- I've sat in Placido Domingos kitchen chatting with his wife as she cooks a group of 6 of us dinner.
6- I have lived in every state of the US except for 5 of them.
7- once I traveled to Virginia to work for 3 months and on a night off, went to see a show. At the bar, 5 of us women were waiting for drinks and idly chatting - in the ensuing conversation we figured out that we all had slept with the same man.
8- Drove 17 hours with a singer and only played The Smiths and Morrissey for the entire trip - we sang along to every song, harmonizing in 3rds and 5ths.
9- have lived 40+ years without ever hearing the words "you are pretty/beautiful"
10- have changed a car tire in high heels.

Im picturing a bald Jon as the new,caucasion Isaac Hayes.

Jon Armstrong: LDS's White Moses of Soul.

Jon looked better clean-shaven, no question.

Maybe not, k; I'm a leetl skirred.

if that is heathers hair, why is there a male looking hand playing with it? I think it is not her hair.
we just have to wait and see.

Samson, shorn

Will the next picture be of Dooce gluing it back on?

I wonder if wine had something to do with this..

I hope that's Jon's hair or beard. I don't think Heather cuts her own hair.

That *has* to be the beard, doesn't it? No, after looking again it doesn't appear to be the right texture for facial hair. I hope we get to see the "after" photo soon. Oh, the suspense...the suspense!

A poem:

Men always have the beautiful hair. And it's not fair.

(Give me a break - I just woke up.)

SPRING'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!
welcome back clean shaven jon!

That much hair in a sink freaks me out. Get out the Swiffer.

Seeing all that hair makes me wanna cough. Now I feel all itchy. Damn - gotta go take a shower now.

Thanks Dooce.

I have straight pubic hair. Really.

heather-
please dont' post things like this again. i'm totally freaked out. all that hair makes me shudder. i don't know why, but now i'm scared.

Chuck (my husband, not our favorite doggie) and I are trying and trying to figure this out...too much to be a beard we thought...definitely not hair from Leta...Heather, did you go short?

very funny kerry (#10)! good thing he's an ex! torrey (#83) - tmi!

Just when Leta started gettin hair... lol

So is he bald with the scrumptious beard now? He must look interesting.

K,

Five things I've done that you probably haven't:

1. Grew up in a third world country (till age of 17) completely biligual in English and Spanish, without hot water or air conditioning or a dishwasher or a disposal. We did have a maid, though. And cable.
2. Experienced the joys of teargas at the tender age of 9.
3. Smoked pot about fifteen times throughout my life. Didn't get high once. Finally I ate it at the age of 27, and I now know what the big deal is.
4. Defeathered, cleaned, cooked, and ate a bird my cat caught once. It seemed like a waste not to at the time. In case you're wondering, it was too dry.
5. Landed a plane.

I can't think of more than that, though I'm sure there are more. It's just too damn early right now. Thanks, K, for the idea.

I have a great product for stopped up sinks thats especially for hair clogs. I got it at home depot I think.

That looks like the amount of hair we cut off Mooshu Mooshu Monkey Dog when she's about due. But that's not Chuck fuzz.

The brazilian comment was funny. Looks like Jon's beard came off? First time posting. Love this Blog.

I wouldn't shave a dog in my bathroom. But then I'm not the DIY dog shaving type.

K,
Five things I've done that you probably haven't:
1) Won a "beauty" pageant
2) Had sex on the sky tram at six flags in NJ
3) Had sex in a conference room at Harvard University
4) Told Billy Joel "you rock" on my birthday
5)Held the artifacts from Blackbeard the Pirate's shipwreck

That's a whole lotta pubes.

Five things I've done that you probably haven't

1) Won a national rowing championship
2) Had sex on top of a car in Key West while people walked by
3) Played a show with Arlo Guthrie
4) Graduated from Harvard Medical School
5) Avoided being killed once and arrested twice in a span of five hours in a foreign country

woah, now those are some pubes.

Five things I've done that you ain't probably done haven't done:

1) Had open heart surgery and facial reconstruction surgery in my first two years of life

2) Taken growth hormone shots for three years

3) Won a BPA National title for Novell Netware 5.1 network administration

4) Gone to another country every afternoon for two months (Canada, I live in Sault Michigan)

5) Been mistaken for a middle schooler in the past three days (I am a college freshman)

gross! The boys in our house do the same thing with the hair in the sink. It's gross then too. Leta looks so beautiful so I will forgive you for taking my breakfast out of my belly this morning.

5 things: (not nearly as interesting as those already posted, but worth a try!)

1. Single handedly leg banded and neck collared hundreds of Canada and Snow geese on a island in James Bay (Canada).
2. "Commuted" to work in a helicopter for three months (while performing act 1.)
3. Watched a polar bear sleep on the mudflats from 150m away (roughly 450ft).
4. Washed my hair in the Athabasca River in the Canadian Rockies (I don't recommend it, it's freeeeeeeeeezing!).
5. Rolled my eyes at my grade 6 teacher.

who's the victim?

Umm.....

1. Pulled my own child from out of me.( as opposed to someone elses right)
2. Vacation in Niagra Falls _and_ Atlantic City in the summer. And drive. In less that 5 hours.
3. Squeezed my dogs anal sacs. (haha just kidding)
3. Flown to New Mexico to buy turqouise jewlery.
4. Camped in the mountains of South Dakota.
5. Have to conversate with my mother EVERY TIME SHE CALLS about her wonderful new boobs.

Wow!

Ah, Mrs. Strizzay, I have done #4. I think I am the only one on earth whose family is actually FROM South Dakota (other than, I suppose, Sioux Indians), and I camp every summer in the mountains (if you can call them that) of good old SD.

Also, I have never posted on Dooce.com before, but 1. I had to prove I had done something that someone else thought noone else had ever done and 2. I LOVE THIS WEBSITE LIKE I LOVE DIET COKE. And that is A LOT.

Yeah Cassie but I am from NY.

We took a train out and it was GORGEOUS!

Thats when I told a couple of old ladies we were dining with my dad was a junkie. I seriously thought I had invented a new word for someone who loves candy a LOT.

Hahah take that mom.

I think the saline may be leaking into her brain.

I'll see what I can do.

Five things I've done that if you have done them too then we should meet:

Won an SF contest for making the best cappuccino;

been mayor of a small town;

owned and operated a B&B in an old brothel.

ridden a motorcycle from Wall Era Berlin through East Germany to Czechoslovakia;

written "F*ck you, Mrs. Nall" on my 2nd grade math homework.

Well, my father is from SD, but I didn't grow up there. I lived in NH from first grade though my first year in college. NH and SD? I am sure you are all wondering how many of my relatives have married each other.

Cassie #125~ I am also a native South Dakotan still living and breathing in the great state!

:)

That bitch

Why, why, why, Delilah?

My, my, my, Delilah!

I've always thought that eating it was such a waste.

Thank you, Amanda, love.

Anything else for me?

Or do you have a request?

Things I’ve Done that You Probably Haven’t Done

1. Sex on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum (where the Rocky footprints are) over looking the city at night.

2. Pumped Ally Sheedy's gas.

3. Labor to birth less than 6 hours, first baby.

4. Lost my front tooth a total of four times! (working on five times)

5. Declined a job designing cartoon movie characters for MTV.

Avey:

Regarding your front tooth, I haven't gone through that, but you're lucky you keep getting it back. What's your secret?

hey dooce, cnn just ran their "blog/fired oh noes!" article. are there any news organizations that haven't run this story yet?

What a great topic. Inspired me to de-lurk again. I love reading stuff like this! Here is my not so exciting list.

1.Was asked by Tommy Lee (Motley Crue) about my hair colour. He had his hair dyed the same shade the following day.

2.Fell out of Richard Thomas’ movie set trailer. He used to play John-Boy Walton.

3.Had to get an AVM (think Nate in Six Feet Under) removed from my jugular vein.

4.Backpacked in Jamaica and hiked through the mountainous coffee plantations – while seriously caffeinated!

5.Diagnosed with Breast Cancer at age 35. Sadly, this makes me very unusual.

MRS. STRIZZAY:

How much more painful does the pitocin make everything?

Pitocin sucks.

I think it makes them come stronger and faster, making it more difficult to cope with.

My natural labor I was able to kind of detatch myself from the pain and go inward.

With pitocin I was very AWARE of the pain the pain the pain.

I think doctors are quick to use it personally. The last time my husband said my midwife (who we loved) must have wanted to get back to the pffice by noon.

Oops. Tom THREW the Speedo. The "through," well, that was something else with Tom, never mind that story . . .

Soft and fluffy and VERY BAD

I know Dooce isn't 'pornish' so I must be a real sicko for imagining what the thumbnail was going to expand to.....

Off Topic:

Have you seen this?

Shoot...I don't know how to post a link inside comments. Fox News has a webstream called "Dooced" talking about blogs and people getting fired. At one point in the discussion they say they don't even know where the term "Dooced" originated.
Effing idiots. As much as it pains me to say check the website, check the website. Blech.

i need entertainment - i am slogging through the most BORING documentation about dermatology imagineable right now. MORE 10 things lists NOW!! :)

Five things I've done that you probably haven't, that are all very boring because I haven't been alive for very long:

1. Read the fifth Harry Potter book at a rate of about 100 pages an hour.

2. Took gymnastics for seven years.

3. Eaten Moroccan food in a restaurant for Thanksgiving instead of the traditional turkey dinner.

4. In 6th grade, won my elementary school's spelling bee, as well as my district's, and my county's.

5. Met the guitarist and drummer from Type O Negative, the drummer from Chimaera and the vocalist from Nile, all on separate occasions.

Hey, my parents just ordered Photoshop Elements for me for school. Anyone know if I can do the dotty thing with it - or do I need the full version? Thanks!

Frau-

Bitte, mein Frau, wir muss sprechen!!
I was a costumer for 16 years!!

I have a cut myself and bled everywhere EXCEPT on the costume story.

Sounds like you've had an interesting life Spurious Plum!

Am totally curious who's hair that is. Also curious why there hasn't been a post since Friday.

Susie # 156, you crack me up. :)

My five things I've done that you probably have not ...

1. Delivered my last 2 babies alone in my bathroom.

2. Worked as a Professional Dominatrix.

3. Have a big ass tattoo of my husband on my arm.

4. Put up a website exposing my deadbeat dad.

5. Had sex with my boss in a bathroom, while his live-in girlfriend (um, my other boss) was 15 feet away. (I’m not proud of this, but I bet you haven’t done it.. )

Dooce.com – the facilitator of weird conversation.

Woah. I'd never before taken the downward spiral to this point on the Daily Photo page. I had no idea that it was this easy to comment (I was expecting a form to fill out with a password etc.).

I have missed too much already ::sigh::

1. Asked Kid Rock if he needed any assistance finding a DVD in a Best Buy that I didn't work in

2. Sat next to women who gave bj's in exchange for beverages at a Van Halen concert

3. Actually said "beggars can't be choosers" to a hobo who heckled my then boyfriend for understandably refusing to give the bum twenty bucks

4. Vomited squid into a toilet in the men's bathroom of the Montreal forum
(I'm female)

5. Cut school to see Princess Di

allright...
1. walked in on my (now ex) boyfriend sleeping with another woman. told him i wanted to punch him, and he said "not in the face, i don't want to lose a contact"
2. had a spinal tap and thought during it "these go to eleven."
3. skipped 54 days of my senior year and still graduated(and wondered if they could take my diploma away once they gave it to me)
4. didn't see star wars until 2004 ( i know i'm not the only one, but i'm one of the few)
5. uhhh...slept with your mom

alright, so maybe i've only done 4 things you probably haven't done...

um, i'm so confused about the five things, but heather.... um, your hair must be GONE. i'm a bit concerned. please post pics. i'm sure it's great, but that is a lot of f'n hair. unless it's leta's.

here's my one thing:
1. didn't have hair until i was three. please don't cut leta's hair - it's basically a 51(a).

1. Moved 17 times my junior year of high school. Thanks, Mom!

2. Rode on an airplane from Colorado to California sitting with the Denver Broncos.

3. Was in 3 of my mom's 5 weddings.

4. Had sex 15 times on my 3-day honeymoon.

5. Haven't spoken to my mom in 6 years.

I think they should glue all that hair onto a mesh circle and wear it around, you know for fun.

Oh no! For a minute I thought that was Leta's hair. Some people shave babies' heads with the thought it will grow in thicker. Hope to see more ponytail pics.

1. Got my right leg stuck in a cattle gaurd, in the middle of nowhere, for over 2 hours.
2. Stayed in a Beach Boys' beach house on a private beach in Malibu.
3. Refused to leave my house for over 3 months - on more than one occasion.
4. Watched the movie House Arrest 6 times during one (fake) sick day in 7th grade.
5. Wiped a naked dogs ass.

Ok not so interesting, but I'm only 20. Ask me again 20 years from now.

jordan? naked dog's ass? you removed her thong?

word

Oh, I think you took a picture of the wrong thing... we want to see the hair cut - NOT the cut hair... :)

Hmm Mrs. Stirizzay, I could take offense to that because I'm a she ... but I won't :D And man, if she needed her sacs squeezed she'd be on her own.

whoa jordan - sorry, I had you pegged wrong too after the thong comeback. lol

If you barf I want proof.

eddo, make me a template. please. and If I wasn;t marry you that whole marry me thing would have me convinced. That your a playa.

jordan - the nose-picking picture is precious

Strizz - that's just mean. I'm not going to barf. I'm going to let it all settle and then have a drink. I wanted to have a drink with the cannoli, but then I went hog wild and ate it all and ... ugh.

Mean:

sac

muahahahaha

cannolis are squuiiiissssshhhhhy in the middle

5 Things I've done that you probably haven't:

1. Went into labor and delivered my son in 2 hours and 45 minutes total.

2. Turned down sex from Woody Harelson (sp?) when he was here doing work for a production company I worked for.

3. Skipped all but 3 days of my junior year's algebra classes, didn't take any exams, and still passed the class with an 88.

4. Got my belly button pierced 3 times only to learn that it wouldn't heal. Bastard button!

5. Live less than 1 mile from GEORGE!...

1. Went from first contraction to baby in my arms in one hour and 20 minutes. With no drugs of any kind. (And no, i did not get off easy. Think of all the pain of an average 12 hour labour crammed into an hour and 20 min.)

2. Delivered my 2nd child in a hospital emergency room in a curtained bed in a room occupied by at least a dozen other patients.

3. Witnessed the birth of over 100 babies.

4. Was present during a break in at my aunt's house while babysitting on New Years Eve when I was 12 yrs old.

5. Have been in a committed relationship with by now husband for 17 years. I'm 33.

Congratulations Greenthumb on the internet personals thing! It sure didn't work for me...

To be honest, I never thought it would either. But what a nice surprise it turned out to be.

Did you meet someone eventually? Still looking?

Still looking... but I'm still (kinda) young - 31 - so there's plenty of time!

You're right. Next time, I'm definately going to try (again), I haven't given up hope yet :)

My first baby was delivered after less than 4 hours of labour... my second baby was delivered after less than two hours (more like an hour & fourty-five minutes) The nurses delivered him, the doctor arrived about five minutes later... and I am a woman who is less than five feet tall and I weigh (unpregnant) about 95 pounds!

I don't think I should have anymore kids though... I think the next would arrive before I knew I was in labour!

ONE thing I've done that you probably haven't (not that I have a boring life, per se, but this one's always a bit of a Springer-esque show-stopper for me):

1. Shared a house with my then-girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend AND the man she'd left me for (my brother).

well?

I'm only 18, so this is all I've got:
1. 4.25 GPA with a C in A.P. Spanish Literature.
2. When I was a sophomore in high school, I taught a senior how to read.
3. Attended a university with 120 students total.
4. Been hit on by a lesbian at least 20 years older than myself. (Where else but Hillcrest, San Diego.)
5. Taken 7 years of Spanish.

I'm such a geek... only one of mine involve anything relating to sex, and I'm not sure even that counts. My boyfriend and I were at the beach at night in his car and a parking attendent

Jess,

I'm not sure about sophomores and seniors, but when I was in the 8th grade (13 yrs old) I sat and read, and wrote the answers for, a 10th grade student during the school certificate. This is the first exam after which you could leave high school with a pass...

school certificate.....NSW??
hsc

Henrykm,

Yep, NSW (southern highlands to be exact) so it was the school certificate. Not the HSC but I did hear (urban myth perhaps?) of a guy who graduated from Newington illiterate...

Hair is one of those strange bodily attributes which does so much to define us and, at the same time, misrepresent us. When I look at the haircuts I've had in the past, some laughably bad and others downright questionable, I realize that hair, however one does it, provides a playground for absurdity.

Another lurker here.

1. Was induced with pitocin and gave birth 29 hours later. Speeding up contractions my ass! I was on 28 doses of the stuff before anything started happening (the max a nurse can give without doctor's approval is 20).

2. In high school, after having had sex in my car, my boyfriend threw the used condom out of the window just as a guy and his little boy walked by.

Ok, that's all I have, but I needed to share after hearing all these quick labor on pitocin stories.

I just read this on yahoo and thought of Dooce.
"Fired for blogging"

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050307/ap_on_hi_te/fired_f...

greenthumb... I met my hubby online, so yes, I know love can be found online. And I'm sorry you didn't make it to the wedding that weekend...damn ice storm!! ;o) lol

01:28AM...time for the night owls, insomniacs and shiftworkers to emerge!

Wow, that's a lot of hair! Better not let it go down the drain unless you got some drano.