In the South that would indicate a tornado was a comin'
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Heather talks about overcoming depression on today's Momversation.
- Leta: "STOP FOLLOWING ME, COCO!"
I wonder where she picked up that exclamation.
- Me: "Hey Marlo, here's a vibrantly colored, squeaky toy made specifically for your age group!"
Marlo: "Got any knives?"
- @makeandtakes my pleasure! Had a great time with you guys!
1. Rodney said:
First? Long time lurker, first time poster.
2. Julia said:
I want to pack my bags and move to UTAH!
3. LJ said:
Wow, that's some sky. It was like a dirty fleece blanket over the hills here in the SW of England yesterday.
4. SuperK said:
Wow. I'm finally going to post a comment and delurk, because I can be so close to 1. Thank you, middle of the night trip to the bathroom (and computer).
5. Sarah in Lux said:
I think it's best to only visit Utah through these pictures.
6. Kristen said:
I am continually amazed with the quality of your pictures - I think I need a new camera.
7. hannah said:
Okay, enough with the making me want to ski! I haven't been skiing in a good eight/nine years and I do not have the money to go now, but dammit I want to!
And well do I remember the pain of the next day. I also used to ride horses, and because I have no experience with childbirth I can tell you this; there is nothing worse than getting up the day after skiing and being in immense amounts of pain, and then having to go and ride horses. By ride I mean; attempt to stay on whilst flinging myself over jumps and grimacing. I was young and Catholic and not allowed to swear. I imagine if it was going on today, the air would be blue.
8. Henryk_ said:
Eerie
9. ladyalaska said:
Very cool picture I must admit!
10. ladyalaska said:
Well, as I sit here, at 2am in the morning, waiting for the dogs to finish doing their business (after oh-so-frantically waking me from my slumber), I am quite amazed that I have made it in the top ten of posts... just amazing!
11. Ronny said:
great picture!
12. coskel said:
good stuff...no tall buildings in Utah?
13. rich said:
yeah Utah Sky is nice
14. Tina said:
Wow, great colors! How come you're posting that early, did Leta get you up in the middle of the night?
15. Henryk_ said:
Not many comments! A late start?
16. Henryk_ said:
Tina....Aha...you are right on it! A very early start!
17. Henryk_ said:
Here I sit,
Broken hearted,
Paid my penny,
Then departed!
18. Tina said:
Now I got it, you can't sleep because your still hurtin from snowboarding!!!
19. Emma said:
That's an awesome picture, if you painted it people would say it wasn't natural enough!
20. Davey said:
uh-oh! Excellent accound of your boarding Heather, another enjoyable read :)
21. SueFromOhio said:
OK, even though you said you were sore...you convinced me to want to try to ski. Not snowboard, though. I'm sure I would break my leg then.....
22. Kit said:
It looks like a tiny shoebox diorama. Nice.
23. Heatheranne said:
That's cool. I can't wait until spring so I can get some cool shots of thunderstorms coming in.
24. Peter Hentges said:
Whoa .... that'll teach me to post before refreshing.
I like the way weather does its thing ... so fun to watch.
25. Peter Hentges said:
Lookit all you early-rising doocelings!
(Watch out world! The doocelings are startin' early!)
26. Henryk_ said:
HitchHikers Guide To The Galaxy?
27. Henryk_ said:
and starting the eralier the better!
28. Peter Hentges said:
Do you know where you towel is?
29. frozen sunshine said:
It is 4am in the morning and I hauled my very asleep and showing cold-like symptoms self out of bed to register for my final quarter of classes as an undergrad. Yessss. And to say goodmorning Dooce! And goodmorning Doocelings!
30. Peter Hentges said:
Now, don't go back to sleep on me.... Only another 1.5 hours here at work!
31. frozen sunshine said:
and now I am walking straight back to my bed.
32. Peter Hentges said:
Amuse me with your poop stories and butt photos! Dance little doocelings, dance!
33. Sarah M said:
That is 'Good Evening' for some of us, Frozen. :)
Henry, My father would always proclaim that when faced with a loo where you had to put in a coin.
He changed the the last line though. I'm sure you can figure!!
34. ap said:
More "a-comin'" type Southern US lingo in your posts, please!! Maybe I'll start sending you pictures of MY ass until there's more of it...
35. Peter Hentges said:
Hmm. Perhaps some fruit juice to jump-start my blood sugar will help with the wakefulness issue. It would be so much easier if there were dancing doocelings, though.
36. Jess said:
What a great post this morning. You give hope to all uncoordinated people living in or around winter sports havens. Uncoordinated people of New England salute you!
37. Michelle Brady said:
Wow, how long has this picture been up? It's only 7:33 here, and usually the new pics don't go up until between 8:30 and 9. I'm totally freaked out!
I wish I had such an awesome eye for framing shots.
38. Peter Hentges said:
Pic's been up for 1:45, Michelle. Shocked me too!
39. romy said:
gorgeous, ominous sky.
40. Peggasus said:
Ah, yes, there is nothing more humbling than some little shit kid yelling 'Get outta the way, lady!' as he whooshes by you on the slopes.
Except maybe being carried down a slope on one of the snowmobile-drawnsleds, with all the other skiers pointing at you as they say ' Look at the dork who fell and hurt herself.'
41. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
So, what does it indicate in Utah? The the Lord is a comin'?
42. Peter Hentges said:
And what would one do if the Lord was a-comin'? Is the root cellar still your best option?
43. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I think your best bet when the Lord is a-comin' is to put out the best china.
Must...resist..."a-comin'" joke...or be struck...by lightning.
44. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Because if I were to make some comment about a Divine Money Shot, that would be wrong.
45. Peter Hentges said:
I was also not going there, Bucky. I don't need to wonder about the Lord's leather G-string or his position on A-1. That kind of smiting would leave a mark.
46. CanadianAmy said:
BFE.......so wrong!
You say ten hail marys and ten our fathers as penance right now!
47. Peter Hentges said:
Oh, silly me ... if I knew the Lord was a-comin', I would bake a cake.
48. Lisa S said:
Hey Dooce, are you suffering from insomnia lately?
And my goodness, have you seen a tornado? First hand?
49. Julianne said:
wow, beaufitul sky. i'm from tornado country too and love watching the sky turn green.
it's not early here - already 9am
50. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Yowza! Heavy sky. Kinda like my eyelids!
51. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy -- I've said my Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
Was it wrong that I danced the Lambada while I was saying them? Do you think God will get mixed messages?
Do you think He knows that I want to be "more than friends"?
52. the niffer said:
I wouldn't worry too much BFE. UPPERCASE GOD hasn't been watching these parts for a while. I think you're safe.
Peter - you're cute. I also get bummed when I miss the poop talk of the doocelings. Bummed. Heh.
53. Peter Hentges said:
Cute? Um, gee. Thanks, niffer. You're pretty spiff yourself!
54. Kendra said:
I think I was at this point yesterday!! I love this early posting stuff!!
55. Wicked H said:
Spooky, yet gorgeous!
56. Sharon said:
Early early-it's always good to start the work day off with some Dooce.
57. CanadianAmy said:
BFE:
Lambada-OK.
As long as you were'nt waving the A-1 bottle around.
58. Peter Hentges said:
Or end a work night with some dooce, Sharon. Either way, fun stuff!
59. CanadianAmy said:
weren't.
gotta get a handle on those contractions.
60. Katie said:
That's a pretty picture. I'm going skiing this weekend, but just in Michigan, so obviously it's not a real mountain. I'd love to ski in Utah someday though.
61. Peter Hentges said:
Contraction's are ea'sy, CanadianAmy. Ju'st remember than an apo'strophe i's there to warn you that an "s" is approaching.
62. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CanAmy, I'm ashamed to say, I *was* waving an A1 bottle around.
And I wasn't using my hands.
Okay, that's a lie. I was never ashamed.
63. Stephen McKenna said:
Are you sleeping okay at night Heather? 3:45AM seems a bit early to be posting.
64. Sarah said:
Sounds like you bought some magic snow goggles!
65. Peter Hentges said:
My glazed-eye co-workers are starting to look at me suspiciously. Must suppress laughter. Must not imagine how BFE was waving the A-1. Must not imagine she was intoning a Hail Mary while said waving (without hands) was going on.
66. jodi-no-blog (no more!) said:
I totally agree with the whole idea that skiing is too much of a hassle. Too cold, too much expensive gear to keep track of and too many cocky 5 year olds. However, I did do a "women's snowboard weekend" where I learned to snowboard with 6 other equally uncoordinated women. (Mainly because my hubby at the time was cheating on me with a girl who could snowboard AND had a cabin near the mountain. I wanted to prove she wasn't so special...) It was an awesome feeling to finally get it... but it is still too damn cold for me!
I'd rather sit in the lodge, get drunk and check out the hot instructors.
67. the niffer said:
Peter -- you won't have to imagine if BFE posts us a pic. Come Bucky, tomorrow self portrait day!
68. Peter Hentges said:
My eyes! My eyes! I've been prematurely smitten! (smited?) Now, how will I see the pics of BFE and her enticingly shakin' bottle of A-1?
69. Caroline said:
You know, I'm really tempted to move to Utah to corrupt all those mormans. I bet they'd like playboy ... I could seduce them with the articles, then shock them with the nudie pictures. They'd be watching R rated movies and drinking coffee in no time. Good plan?
70. Caroline said:
Ooh, and on number 69. Well that was appropriate.
71. Peter Hentges said:
Timing, Caroline, is everything.
72. CanadianAmy said:
BFE!
HA!
Peter-maybe you should take the day off.
73. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I think the dance of the A1 buttocks might be too sacred for public display.
However, replace the bottle of A1 with some Kikkoman, and you've got a party! I like my ass shaken *and* stir-fried, baby.
74. heidillydoo said:
Woo hoo! 74th?!
75. Peter Hentges said:
Funny you should mention it, CanadianAmy, Wednesdays are my night off.
76. Circus Kelli said:
Wow.
Spooky Ooky.
Skirry.
Wow.
77. spoonleg said:
PARTY AT PETE'S HOUSE TONIGHT!
78. Sarah said:
I am a weenie - it's in my nature. But you almost make me want to try snow boarding...
Almost.
79. Cheryl said:
To me it looks like something bad is about to happen... but then again that's all I have been thinking about lately since getting laid off yesterday! BLEH!!!
80. Ada said:
Sigh,
I miss the praires. There's nothing like that big, big sky to remind you of how small you are.
81. Peter Hentges said:
Closing in on the end of my work night ... now just to wait for the sun to get high enough that it'll melt the frost on my windshield so I don't have to scrape it before I go home. Then, then! Sweet, sweet sleep.
82. Jason said:
Tell me about it, I lived in OKC for about two years. The very first night I moved my family from VA out there we had one of them thar twistars come right headin on in straight fer our apartment building. Petered out about a mile before us...good times.
83. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Peter H -- I used to work 3rd shift, and though it's more convenient to be on first and I wouldn't change now, there is something extra cool about 3rd shift. I think a lot of it is the "nyah nyah" that you're driving home to the beer in the fridge while everyone else is driving to work where they have to hide the beer in their cars.
Oh, wait. Not everyone works at GM, do they? ;)
(Shop Rats: Don't be hatin' on me. I live in Flint. I know the truth.)
84. Peter Hentges said:
BFE - You're right there ... I also know the location of every bar in the Twin Cities that open and serve at 8:00 a.m. Nothing like Guiness for "breakfast."
85. Keith said:
WooHOO! New desktop wallpaper! I'm telling you, you should market a pack of these. You have a great eye and that's only one of the things that keeps me coming back.
86. nika said:
looks like an "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dawg, too!" setting if I ever saw one.
87. heidillydoo said:
I just came off nights too. My bed is calling me....
88. Peter Hentges said:
And that, my little doocelings, will do it for me for the moment.
"Sleep. That's where I get to be a Viking!" - R. Wiggum.
89. Bodnoirbabe said:
How beautiful.
90. beachgal said:
I've seen a few skies like this, and yes, normally followed by some pretty severe weather. Nice picture, Dooce.
91. Circus Kelli said:
Good morning fellow doocelings.
How is everyone today?
92. LadyBug said:
That pic does kind of look end-of-the-world-ish.
Okay, Dooce, so I'm guessing you set your computer to automatically post the pics at 3:30AM or so, to help avoid the near-shutdown that occurs when 10,000 people type *FIRST!!!!111eleveneleven* and hit Post all at the same time. Am I right? Am I close? Am I....FIRST? *snort*
93. Melanie S. said:
I'm curious to know if GEORGE heard the same terrible winds and thunder that we did last night. I has the WORT ass clench when the rain and thunder woke me up.
I thought for sure I was about to see the wicked witch and some munchkins!
94. LadyBug said:
Holy Bolding, Batman! What the heck happened there?
95. christy said:
That thar means the same thing in the midwest. Bolt down yer trailer!
96. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Is that Utah? I thought there were mountains in Utah, but that city is flatter than my 11th grade winter formal date.
97. CanadianDude said:
Nice snowboarding story. I tried it last Christmas. Never had the epiphany that you describe. Tried until I near broke my wrists. Spent the rest of the day willing snotty 6 year olds to crash.
The "remember me" radio button on this form freaks me out. Wish people had those.
98. Chloe (is here) said:
Beautiful! I wish there were mountains in Missouri. Not the first time I've said that.
You were up early this morning! And I know Leta got you up at 6:30. Desole.
99. disurbonce said:
Clearly, it's a plague of locusts comin' to get us all! Thanks, dooce!
100. meREDith said:
This post made me think I gave up on rollerblading a day too soon. But there are only so many curbs with grass on the other side of them for you to run into. Pretty soon, you find a curb with CURB on the other side of it, and the bloody mess that ensues curtails your dream of extreme sports of any kind.
101. Gooooder said:
what the hell, 100 comments already???
102. Scott said:
I think in the real South that the weather phenomena you have pictured above indicated that Dale Jr. is going to win the next NASCAR race. At least that's what all these rednecks keep telling me.
Bucky - I so want to catch the next performance of your A1 Repentance Dance. How much are tickets near the orchestra?
103. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Good Morning, Doocelings! Heather must be unable to sleep with all those sore muscles - I need to start setting my clock for 3:00 a.m. so I can catch when she posts these entries.
I can empathize with being an uncordinated dork on the ski slopes. The one time I skiied I flew down the hill so fast I thought I would take flight - and that was just the Beginner's Slope. The first run down I didn't fall on my face, but I almost crashed into the lodge. The second run, however (somehow they got me to do a second run), I was going so fast my friend Toby kept screaming "Make yourself fall NOW!" I couldn't figure out why I should make myself fall, but I listened to him, and I tried to gently sit down, however sitting down gently when you are going 50 mph is tough, and skis went flying and my pole almost decapitated a little kid. The most embarrassing part was when the little kid brought me my poles. Oh, the humiliation of it all. I think when you are 5'11" your center of gravity is a little screwy, i.e., you don't HAVE a center of gravity. Needless to say, I never went skiing again, although now I want to - I want to reach the euphoria that Dooce finally attained. I am jealous.
104. spoonleg said:
First!!11!eleveneleven11!!
105. Aimee said:
Kansas Girl here agrees with you... I actaully miss those skies as crazy as that sounds. We just had a snow storm in Paris, so maybe we'll have a tornado this spring? Who knows?
106. Steve J said:
Interesting. In the North (Calgary, Alberta, Canada) that would indicate a chinook was a comin'.
Check this out to see what I mean: http://www.pbase.com/image/33980504
107. Loo said:
I have a fear of participating in sports where my incompetence can kill me. And yet...I married a man with a kayak. A man who wanted to teach me to kayak. My train of thought was like this: I like to swim, I like whitewater...I like this man...I am going to be a BOATER!!!!
The actual experience was like this: borrow a kayak that looks like a tongue. Squeeze ass into neoprene girdle. Listen intently to future husband's advice about how not to die on the river. Carry kayak, paddle, life vest, water bottle and courage to put in. Squeeze ass into boat. Launch boat into water. Flip over in boat. Flail about underwater. Try to roll boat upright...try again. Pull skirt and slither out of boat. Say HOLY FUCK THIS WATER IS COLD!!! Shout obscenities. Grab boat and renegade paddle and pull everything to shore line. Boat now weighs 6 million pounds...drain the water by lifting and tilting boat. Invent more obscenities. Squeeze ass back into boat...repeat until officially demented.
Your recent snowboard success flashed me back. My husband can make his boat dance, but I never did reach my liquid Nirvana. Maybe it's time to try again? Wait...who is that laughing maniacally?...Oh...that was me.
108. Circus Kelli said:
Must.Pull.Away.From.Comments.
Must.Do.Actual.Work...
*i'll be back in 10 minutes*
109. Jessie said:
The last time I went snowboarding was at B pain.righton and I COULD NOT GET OFF THE TOILET THE NEXT DAY! The unfortunate thing was at the time all of my roomates were out of town so I was stuck there for 20 minutes. Dooce I feel your
110. Jessie said:
So pain was supposed to go at the end of that comment, not in the middle of the word Brighton...my computer is psycho
111. japhy said:
i am glad you finally had your snowbaording epiphany. as a local, i took it for granted that everyone had the same wonderful experience in the mountains that i did. it truly is grounding to spend a day at alta, hiking for fresh powder. mmmm...
now that i am living in philly for law school, i miss my mountains more than anything in the world. i can't wait to get back.
112. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Scott - tickets for the A1 repentance dance are free to all who are brave enough to attend. There are no orchestra seats, as it is a performance "in the round."
Which means, basically, that all have the chance to be splattered during the performance, thus blurring the line between performer and observer.
And then we play "Spin the A1 Bottle" as an encore.
113. Kieran said:
Looks like the perfect storm! Watch out Marky Mark!
114. red said:
being in OK, we get skies that look similar to that a lot during tornado season. eesh. great pic!
115. Brandi said:
Damn right it does! That means cover yo hillybilly ass NOW!
116. Sarah in the Azores said:
ah, the ever impending sense of doom.
117. Amanda B. said:
That picture made me stop, drop and roll. It's true, that's what it looks like here right before they sky let's loose it's winky and smacks sombody's house with it.
118. becaru said:
I skiied with my five and eight-year old nieces this weekend...OK, it was only Michigan skiing, but 5 or 8 years old is definitely the right time to learn the sport. It's also the blessed time before they realize how awful a skier I am.
At one point I was "helping" the eight-year-old off the chair lift and slipped and pushed her down. The poor kid thought it was her fault; I had to explain to her that she wouldn't have fallen without my help.
119. Home Detention Lady said:
Heather - where's your self portrait? It's Wednesday! I was looking forward to seeing what you posted. Ah well, maybe next week.
I went skiing once at Big Sky, MT. I fell on my hip and ass so much that I had a basketball sized bruise on my hip for a week. I was so swollen in that area that my pants wouldn't fit over my big, blue bruise. Never again!
120. Garth Wood said:
That looks like a "chinook arch" to this Calgarian...
121. Gooooder said:
CK: That's what we all say, actual work. PFFT!
122. Gordon said:
But in Utah that means God coming to get your butt...
123. Chris From Ohio said:
I was going to make some lame "Look, Dorothy! A twista' a twista" comment but I'd just like to take this opportunity to congratulate Amanda B. for writing the single funniest thing I've read today. Apparently, the sky is familiar with the Danza Slap.
124. bethy-mae said:
I want to bomb a hill so bad after reading that post. Dooce, you described it to a tee.
That sky means get the hell out of the trailer here in KY.
"LOOK MA IT'S A TWISTER!"
125. Amanda B. said:
Did you guys catch the Daily Show last night, with the guy who had set up the email for the "rapture"? You get an account, so that when the rapture comes it sends mail to all your loved ones left behind to let them know you've gone to be with Jesus.
Isn't that considerate?
126. lawbrat said:
My kids started skiing at 2 and 4. I figured the 4 year old took to it so quickly, and learned so fast, that when his brother turned 2, it was time for skis. They both love it and do crazy stuff. (I'm terrified every time they get on the lifts).
I think its easier for them to start younger. They have a lower center of gravity. When they fall, its not far to the ground. They havent 'learned' that its scary to slide down a big hill (Michigan, no mountains) on 2 narrow strips of wood. They have been saying they want bigger hills. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?
127. Closet Metro said:
Tornadophobe: Fear of Sky Winky.
128. Sharon said:
Ooh, those fundamentalists are so considerate (totally kidding here). I wonder if you're automatically qualified to be lifted to heaven if you sign up for the service.
Hm.....
129. Scott said:
HDL - Self Portrait Day has moved to Thursdays. Mihow will have the new site up tomorrow. It should rock like a Fraggle.
www.selfportraitday.com
130. U.B. said:
I *love* The Daily Show! It's the only "news" program I bother watching. Last night's is still on tivo for now, tho'.
Beautiful sky. We had actual funnel clouds here in Cal a coupla days ago. I don't think they actually did any damage -- but it was another good reason for the locals to massively overreact about themselves...
131. Spurious Plum said:
This is scary and pretty all at once.
132. beckythefirst said:
we've actually had tornado warnings in so cal this week. i didn't know that was possible. when i heard that on the radio, i thought i'd moved back to the midwest, only i'd forgotten somehow about the long drive and packing boxes.
133. kalki said:
What a great shot, Dooce. If I buy a Nikon D70, can I be cool like you too? (I know, not a chance.)
134. Spurious Plum said:
Becky, my family lives in So Cal and they're talking waterspouts, mudslides, pools crashing down mountains, thunder, more rain then they've had since 1892 or some crap...
Isn't this supposed to be LA?
135. Colleen from NJ said:
spoooky sky.
should i be posting a picture of someone's ass? i've been away a few days; could someone instruct me?
136. Scully said:
That looks like a Chinook arch. We get those in Calgary ALL THE TIME.
137. Closet Metro said:
Colleen -
yours.
tight jeans.
no vpl.
any other questions?
(welcome back)
138. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
CM -- in our ass pictures, can we be naked with no vpl?
139. Colleen from NJ said:
hey, I am up for that challenge.
*runs for camera and a change of clothes*
140. OregonKim said:
I just strap the skis to my butt because that is what I am on most of the time anyway.
I should just take a sled, one of those round ones that spin so I can have fun and vomit all the way down the slope.
Good to know that you had such a good time girl.
141. cathi said:
cm - what's vpl?
142. TulsaOkie said:
SO that's what it is like to ski... I've never been and don't think I will, as it doesn't snow much in good ole Oklahoma! Thanks for the visual Dooce.
On the other hand, I do know what a wall cloud signals. We should be entering tornado season in about a month or so. I'm not looking forward to it.
143. Colleen from NJ said:
that would be Visible Panty Lines.
144. Closet Metro said:
B4E - you can always be nekkid.
145. Circus Kelli said:
You make me smile CM. :)
146. Colleen from NJ said:
ok, CM... I did it. Go see.
147. Closet Metro said:
CK - glad to be sharing the smiles. And butts.
148. Closet Metro said:
Colleen - Yummy!
149. Dr. Laura's Worst Nightmare said:
Yahoo, Heather! Snowboarding clicked! Isn't it great? And Zen-ish? Way to go. Now come on over to my neck of the woods and we'll go surfing.
150. Colleen from NJ said:
I'll do what I have to for The Cause. Butts for Butterflies!!!
151. Closet Metro said:
Colleen - that was for the Butterflies Campaign? I just thought you wanted to show me your booty. (nice booty, btw)
152. Jana said:
Great picture...but yes, in the midwest that would be a sign to grab the child'rn and head fer the basement.
Can't wait to see all these self portrait of butts!!!
153. Dang Cold.. said:
Hi Circus Kelli--thanks for the post. We talk about kitty cats more..
154. Colleen from NJ said:
Wellll, I saw my window of opportunity. lol! The Claw!
Bucky, thanks for that, because I was a bit nervous. You just never know what your ass looks like until you, ummm, post it on the Internet.
So we better be seeing Leta's lashes soon.
155. Thel said:
Spurious Plum:
L.A. has had almost twice as much rain this season as Seattle. Nothing but clear, sunny skies up here. Of course that means the snow pack in Washington sucks, too.
156. trisha said:
Great story about the snowboarding!
It gives me hope. I have only been snowboarding once, and I couldn't even make it up the hold-onto-the-rope lift on the childrens' hill.
Good stuff.
157. Andrea in Canada said:
Great experience you had Sunday Heather. You and Jon are such an amazing couple. You compliment each other well. I LAUGHED SO HARD at the part where Jon had to lift you off the toilet that my husband came to ask me what was so funny and I told him to read it. He said, "she's a good writer, I see why you love her site so much!" and of course Chuck chuckled.
Amanda B and Closet Metro! ROTFL at the emails to Dooce! Those absolutely made my day! "No, but thank you."
158. trisha said:
Be careful---tight jeans can give you the yeast.
159. Closet Metro said:
Ya'll heard trisha - off with the jeans.
*wink*
160. Colleen from NJ said:
ewwwww. right you are, trisha.
161. trisha said:
Yes! Off, off, off! The best way to ensure there is no yeast is to not even wear pants!!!
162. Spurious Plum said:
Thel, I can't believe that!
Well, if you want some snow, the pack is completely badass in Cali right now. Although your car might get carried off by a mudside before you get there...
163. Evil Stepmother said:
My sister hated skiing, returned skis a half-hour after renting them (we live in the south, yo), rented a snowboard, and spent the next three days on it, even after she sprained her ankle and twisted her knee. Longest sentence ever.
Gorgeous photo, BTW. It did make me think "storm."
164. Spurious Plum said:
All the dudes in the house are like, "wait, yeast? Are we makin' bread or gettin' nekkid?"
165. Mary In Sacramento said:
That's exactly the type of sky we had here the other day when the twisters hit Sacramento. I looked at Hubby and said "We better run fore them thar hills, Pa." And sure enough, a couple of them touched down right near our neighborhood. I guess a benefit from living in the South (besides that "adorable accent" everyfuckingbody asks you about and feels the need to comment on every goddamn day especially if you say words like "fire" or "wash" or "y'all") is the ability to recognize twisters.
Meh. Utah's sky was prettier. Bastards.
-MiS
Freaky.
166. muffy said:
You mean a "tournader?"
167. Colleen from NJ said:
*drops laptop and runs off to hide*
168. Circus Kelli said:
Closet Metro said at 09:18AM, 02.23.2005:
Ya’ll heard trisha - off with the jeans.
wink
-----------
Oh, but I'm not wearing jeans right now, CM...
169. ashik said:
Yeah, CM - do I have to take off these hot pink fishnets?
170. Closet Metro said:
*Yowza!*
171. Annejelynn said:
very cool pic - has an eerie, sureal look to it...
but I miss Leta :(
172. Marti said:
Katie-be
Very funny sking story.
173. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Morning all
174. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I want to see Leat in a leapord print diaper, wearing 3 pony tails, a long sleeve black shirt and eating and apple.
Dance monkey dance.
Just kidding. I'm tired. Blah.
175. super aardvark said:
Heather, your writing is amazing. Reading today's post, I was completely there with you on the slope, and I got the hugest grin when it clicked and you started to fly. My heart was pounding and I was shouting "Woo! Gogogo!" in my head. When sitting in my chair and reading a blog is that much of a rush, something magical must be at the source of it.
And, now I _really_ can't wait to go skiing out west... one week, baby. Winter Park, CO.
176. Pissy Britches said:
Yes Dooce you are right. That would mean to get your ass out of your trailer or car and hide in a ditch if you were in the South. It looked like that here on Monday actually..when it almost destroyed my High School. Luckily the hellions were all out of school for Presidents Day but it tore up some shit let me tell yah.
177. laurenbove said:
Wow, is that the view from Casa de Dooce? It's ominous but calming at the same time. I think it's the teal sky that's getting me. Bueno Chica, muy bueno.
178. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I like that visual, Striz. Go, little monkey!!! Ski, baby, Ski!
179. bean said:
dooce, you make me laugh and cry out loud.
doocelings, the banter is stand up material.
my daily dose of belly laughs.
thanks.
180. Jason said:
Enough with the "Doocelings" thing. I like Dooce. I read Dooce. Dooce inspires me, but she ain't no religion, brother.
181. bean said:
i think it's less a dooce disciple thing and more a dooce deadhead thing...or maybe poophead thing...
182. trisha said:
awwww, jason, are you grumpy?
183. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Being a Dooceling doesn't mean that we think of Heather as a religion. We just read her posts everyday, can't wait to get up in the morning to read her posts, pray to the Dooce Goddess every night before bed... mmm, okay, so maybe we do idolize her. I guess I will start the Church of Heather Armstrong of Latter-day Doocelings.
184. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
And the Latter-day Doocelings are allowed to drink Coke, coffee and beer. And we drink bourbon during the sacrament.
185. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Wow, I really cleared the room with my sacrilege.
186. bean said:
is being regularly constipated a requirement?
187. Amanda B. said:
Colleen, you saucy little minx! I've never seen this side of you, but it's lovely. (your ass I mean)
Metro- I can't help but notice that YOUR ass has not been posted on the internet. Come off with it, muchacho.
188. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
No, I can't say that would be a requirement. Anyone who saw the discussion we had in here yesterday about my large poops will know I don't have a problem with that. But talking freely about your bowels is definitely a requirement.
189. Mrs.Strizzay said:
No bean, just a perk
190. bean said:
good enough. i'm in. am not ashamed to say that i poop regularly.
191. bean said:
maybe there'll have to be sects...those who can't and those who can. but then you'd have to switch if you have a mixed pooping personality...and who would get to call themselves fundamentalist doocelings?
192. Graygirl said:
All of you.....I came to work today determined to actually "work"; thought I'd take a peek to see what's up and here I am a half hour later, crackin' up in my little cubicle!
Bucky, you are a girl after my heart....images of A1 dancing in my head. And I forget who to credit the "sky winky" to but OMG! Love you guys.....
193. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Yay, another regular pooper!!!
I met this girl once that pooped after every meal. Three times a day!!! I don't know if this meant that her food was going right through her, or if she was just extremely regular, but I found this extremely weird.
194. bean said:
just back from pooping, in fact.
after every meal? that's a lot of pooping. she must get a lot of reading done.
195. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
That is a thought-provoking question, Bean. Fundamentalist Doocelings - are they poopers or non-poopers? Despite me being a pooper, I would have to say that the fundamentalists would have to be the constipated ones.
196. U.B. said:
I know someone who poops right after every big meal. I always wondered if they just had no curves in their intestines or if they were just so full that whatever mass went into one end had to have an equal and opposing amount of mass pushed out the other...
eww, sorry.
197. honestyrain said:
winter IS stupid and although it certainly looks like all those skiing and skating and sledding people are having fun i think it's a big tricky plan to get me to come out so they can all laugh and say ha ha ha you idiot, it's cold, why did you come outside.
well it turns out the joke is on them because my momma didn't raise no idiot.
198. Jason said:
Last night we were under a Tornado Watch. In San Diego. California. Jesus Jumped-Up Christ.
199. bean said:
i would have to agree, k. it seems those who suffer more have stronger fundamentalist tendancies. i had a brief sojourn into the land of those who can't poo after the birth of my son. i would not wish that pain on anyone. terrible terrible discomfort...
i always feel lighter after i poop. i am glad i poop easily.
200. kEma said:
wow Thats really smashing
201. Matt in London said:
I went skiing once, 20 years ago when I was 14, in Italy. I got drunk on cheap wine (illegally sold to a minor - those pesky Europeans!), went up a mountain, skied into a tree, knocked myself out, woke up in hospital (nothing broken) and haven't tried it since.... Would love to give it another go, but my wife prefers the beach...
202. Colleen from NJ said:
if i could put my 2 cents in? i am a Pooper. love to poop. do it daily.
203. Shiz said:
That picture makes me feel good.
204. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
UB, I tend to agree with your second hypothesis. I think that it is possible that the intake of food pushes down on the bowels and forces the poop out. At least for some people, anyway.
Bean, I know what you mean about feeling lighter, and I think it is actually true. I once got on a scale before I dropped a big one and stepped on the scale afterward - I actually lost a pound!
205. Dawners said:
Now this is a conversation I can get interested in: Religion and Poop - Where Fundamentalism Bridges the Crack.
206. Annejelynn said:
Man, it is alllLLL about the poop!
always comes back to the poop!
207. Shiz said:
I have to admit it, I'm a free-and-easy pooper.
Maybe the constapees can live vicariously through us.
Um, I didn't mean for it to sound like that.
208. Annejelynn said:
Katie-b, I've lost a pound before - was totally shocked!
209. Shiz said:
Bean (194): Reading? READING? Some of us poop faster than we pee.
TMI?
210. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Dawners, LMFAO!!! That definitely needs to be our catchphrase!
211. bean said:
when i was little i used to think
'wow, everybody poops!' then i'd always picture madonna on the can taking a dump, reading...now that i'm older and wiser i realize the world is not so simple...and pooping? not so easy for some.
it did make me feel like i had something in common with madonna though. i'm thinking that with all that yoga, she must be pretty regular.
there it is folks: poop, or lack thereof, unites.
212. liminalspace said:
remember those highly effective tornado drills? when you'd crouch uncomfortably under your desk or a really hard textbook with all the other kids and someone always farted or at least made a fart noise? yeah. saved my life more than once, that's for damn sure.
in utah does that yellow light mean that god has descended?
213. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
It's okay, Shiz. I don't get a whole lotta reading in, either.
214. bean said:
shiz: i poop relatively fast too however i like to use it as a little break, get some reading done.
215. Melanie said:
that's amazing. and you're right, here in Oklahoma, the sirens would be going off.
216. bean said:
wondering how many people are pooping in that photo...and how many are wishing they could.
217. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Can you imagine all the people pooping in the world as we speak?!? I wonder if there are more people pooping or more people praying for a poop. I wonder if constipation is a worldwide epidemic.
218. bean said:
digressing from poop for a moment...
it is said that more tornados touch down up here in canada than in the states...you just never hear about them because when there's a tornado touches in the forest, and nobody lives there, nobody cares.
219. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Yeah, I never hear about Canadian tornadoes. It is sort of sad how you never hear too much about Canada in general. Is it that boring up there?
220. JulieT said:
TWISTER!
221. part-timer said:
Tornados scare the living crap out of me. It's the most terrifying thing to me. And reminds me of my favorite line in a movie ever:
Dot: Gotta do that, HI. Ed, here's got her hands full with this little angel. What would Ed and Little Angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate?! Where would you be then?!
Or ya got carried off by a TWISTER!!??
222. JulieT said:
That picture must've been taken looking WEST from Salt Lake. That's exactly how it looks in California right now.
223. laurenbove said:
Who is the person you can least likely picture pooping? For me it's Nicole Kidman.
224. bean said:
with every living thing producing poop...it's amazing our streets are clear. think about it: that's A LOT of matter.
that's why i started a dog poop composter for my pooches. you gotta be responsible for your own poop...and the poop of those in your charge. it all comes down to that: poop responsibility...a commandment perhaps?
thou shalt poop responsibly, or at least make an effort to do so.
i think our commandments should have caveats. it's not all cut and dry. how revolutionary.
225. U.B. said:
I went to Canada once -- it was gorgeous up there. You could tell the difference almost right after crossing the border. The mountains were bigger and rougher. The people were very polite and proper, but not exactly friendly.
Paddled a canoe on Lake Louise, that's this beautiful turquoise color because it is, I shit you not, infected with beaver fever (and it's fed by a glacier).
At least, that's what we were told. May have been a plot to make us U.S. types look foolish. :)
226. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
For some reason, I can't imagine Leonardo DiCaprio taking a crap.
227. Graygirl said:
I have a hard time picturing God pooping!
228. U.B. said:
Lauren -- I think Paris Hilton probably pays someone to poop for her.
229. bean said:
not boring at all up here. and that pow? pretty sic.
we have a John Stewart-esque news program up here called "this hour has 22 minutes" that sends their comics to visit you guys posing as journalists.
they went around asking us politicians to congratulate canada on establishing their 'national igloo' hilarious.
where i live we grow cherries, peaches, grapes, and you can ski from oct/nov until apr/may.
beautiful.
230. laurenbove said:
I dunno about P.H. I think she probably has video of her pooping that's recently been "stolen."
231. Closet Metro said:
KatieBB - Have you seen The Aviator? After watching Leo sweating and saving pee as Howard Hughes, taking a dump is not much of a stretch of the imagination.
232. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I like the idea of commandments with caveats. Who is in charge of drawing the line, though? Even caveats have to have limits. You can't just say you are trying to have poop responsibility - you should have to prove it. I definitely agree with poop responsibility, though. Anyone who reads my blog knows about my crazy neighbor who left a foot long dog turd in the communal laundry room. Now THAT is a mortal sin if I ever heard of one!
233. the niffer said:
Katie - it's not boring up here so much as... quiet? I don't know. Canadians have a hard time defining what it means to be Canadian and we get really wrapped up in it. Silly hosers.
I'd like to add that I'm a habitual pooper - I poop at the same times every day and if I miss going at that time, e.g. I sleep in, then I fuck up my whole system. And I can't poop if I don't have my regular breakfast or if I'm on vacation.
My hubby is one of those freaks that poops after every meal. I think he has lightening speed metabolism or something.
234. the niffer said:
Oh, and Colleen - that's one sweet can!
235. bean said:
let's see...i have a hard time picturing celine dion taking a crap. i wonder if she sings very loudly in there.
236. albionjessica said:
That composting idea is a good one to help take care of doggy doo.
What else would you put in there besides the dog's business?
237. Annejelynn said:
Niffer, my boyfriend is like that! poohs after every meal - everything shoots right through.
238. Shiz said:
Bean, you must be in my city. I'm at 8th & Vine.
239. part-timer said:
Leona Helmsley. I can't really picture her pooping.
240. Bruno said:
POOP TEA!!
I too must lure the poop from my stagnant intestines. I tried the poop tea and had HORRIBLE cramps and had to spend an evening on the toilet that I had wanted to spend at the party that was happening outside of the room with the toilet in my apartment.
Bad night.
Do not take it at maximum strength.
241. laurenbove said:
You people are coming up with some good ones. Celine Dion...I bet she hits a few high notes on a particularly rough day. hahaha...
242. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
CM, I haven't seen the Aviator. I should have figured they showed him saving his own piddle, though - I need to see that so I can start imagining him pooping. Did Howard Hughes save his turds in jars, too?
I am glad to hear Canada is not boring - I haven't ever had the pleasure of visiting, but now I will have to (since I love cherries and peaches).
I think the after-meal poop syndrome does have something to do with metabolism. I have a very fast metabolism and I poop at least once or twice a day. It does suck, though, when I am on vacation. I can't stand crapping in someone else's home or in hotels. I always feel like someone will walk in, or I will overflow the toilet.
243. the niffer said:
Annejelynn - tell me aboot it. I think sometimes people think he's bulemic because he's off to the bathroom before anyone else finishes their meal. And he's in there for a long time.
244. Shiz said:
Bruno, so noted.
245. bean said:
k-this is where the all-knowing god-type comes in. everyone always feels watched so they are frightened into poop responsibility with the threat of eternal damnation.
if only there was another way!!
246. Leon said:
Hope you enjoy all the rain/snow that just kicked our California ass for the past week non-stop.
247. Annejelynn said:
BRUNO! I've had that poop tea! AWFUL EXPERIENCE! gives me internal cramping, just remembering the horror of poop tea!
248. the niffer said:
Bruno - there is such a thing as poop tea?
249. the niffer said:
when I first read that, I thought you meant poop-flavoured tea.
250. the niffer said:
kind of like compost tea
251. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
What are the ingredients in poop tea?
252. laurenbove said:
poop tea = stomach bug in a mug.
it's also called "dieter's tea"
active ingredient is the senna plant. same thing that's in correctol.
253. cat said:
Poop tea in the hizzouse! Hey! Ho! Hey!
Ho?
254. laurenbove said:
hey
255. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
That sounds more like diarrhea tea. I think I would rather be constipated than have diarrhea.
On that note, I am off to lunch! Ta-ta for now!
256. Southern Fried Girl said:
I am home sick today which means that I do not have to act like I am working and was able to sit and read all the posts which totally crack me up. I hope y'all know how much entertainment you provide me on any given day.
PS - beautiful picture, btw. :)
257. bean said:
dog poop composting:
materials:
shovel
small plastic garbage can with lid
drill
septic starter (we got some 'green' biodegradeable, non-toxic, uber-safe camp toilet stuff)
Directions:
-perforate bottom and half-way up sides of garbage can with drill.
-dig hole big enough for garbage can. we left a few centimeters (2 inches) at the top so we could get the top on.
-put poop in for a couple of days until you get a good poop base
-mix septic starter as per directions, mixing enough to make approx. 1 litre, or 1/2 gallon and pour over poop.
-you should only have to add the septic stuff every month or two. the poop will liquify and seep into the ground fertilizing surrounding area and increasing your poop responsibility quotient.
258. Shiz said:
I must say, Bean, that that's a fantastic idea!
259. Annejelynn said:
Bean, yer the shit! how cool is that? instructions for proper doogie poop disposal, ultra earth friendly
260. bean said:
thank you. can't take credit though. works beautifully, doesn't smell. don't put it near your food compost though, or your veggie garden. the jury's still out on how good dog poop is for carrots. we do know however, that carrots are good for dog poop.
see:
http://www.cityfarmer.org/petwaste.html
261. StarGazer said:
LMAO. Always with the poop talk! I hate pooping. I know, I can hear the collective gasps now... but it's the truth. ;)
262. Shiz said:
Also, Bean, it's very Canadian of you.
263. the niffer said:
That really is the coolest thing ever. I want to get a dog now just so I can compost her shit. A big freakin dog with big poo.
264. bean said:
this is my new funny gift for friends with dogs.
i'll even install it...
hmmmm...i'm smelling (ha) lucrative small business...
265. Beth said:
That made me wanna run down the hill to mah aunt's house and hide in the basement, ya'll!
266. bean said:
shiz: am in the okanagan. am going to van this weekend though for a friends housewarming. they are getting a poop composter for their westie.
267. Q said:
bean - shades of Winston Rothschild III (CEO of Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services)!
268. april said:
In Oklahoma we call those wall clouds. In the spring and summer, when one pops up every other night, the smart people turn on the tv to see if Gary England is going to tell them to go to the basement or not, and the idiots run to get their vidio camera so they can sit by the largest window in the house in order to get it all on tape.
269. Jo said:
Duck and cover!
270. Susannah said:
poop tea? We must see a picture of this alleged coffee table ornament! And I laughed my fucking ass off at "Hodee Klum" GO JAY!!!!!!!!!
271. Annejelynn said:
*Hey, where's FISH at?*
272. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Hard to picture pooping?
Why, our own hostess Heather, of course.
Hard to picture because it only happens in leap years.
273. ella's ma said:
Is that a double-wide I see coming at us on the horizon?
I think you should withhold photos of butterfly kisses even if Leta does cooperate. I would want to see just how many ass shots you can get.
274. Susannah said:
BEAN!! Thanks so much for the dog poop compost instructions. I've actually been looking for them after I heard (okay, overheard...I was evesdropping) someone talking about it last week.
275. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My kids keep barfing! I seriously almost took a picture last night of the coke/sloppy joe art that my son made on the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow *is* self protrait day.
276. girl in sf said:
thanks to dooce and beth, i started watching project runway and i can't wait to see the finale. i'm definitely a jay fan. kara saun is also quite talented but jay is talented AND cracks me up. go jay!
277. Shiz said:
Yes, Bean, the Okanagan was my 2nd pick. Gotta love BC.
http://tinyurl.com/3tfaa
278. kate said:
That sky would signal a tornado comin' in the prairie, too--only, we don't have such awesome mountains!
279. bean said:
shiz, i hear you've been sunshinein' it up over there...bridge jumping is way down now i guess. hope it keeps up for the weekend.
great pics on your site.
280. Dang Cold.. said:
whoa..I was going to post pics of BC on my sight tonight. I live in TO but the west coast calls out to me all the time. I love visiting. I go every summer. Hey Bean make sure you check out Hell's Kitchen in Kits if you get a chance. Good pizza!!
281. RazDreams said:
Absolutely hilarious blog entry about people who are "victim of a mother drive-by" (AKA, victims of totally-unwanted-and-ridiculous parental advice). And dooce gets a shout-out too for her SAHM explanation!
*http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com/chezmiscarriage/2005/02/todays_guest_bl.html#comments*
282. RazDreams said:
(uh oh. i broke this comments page because of my stupid long link. sorry, dooce!)
283. Shiz said:
Mmmmm .... Hell's Kitchen is a short walk from my house. Have you tried their Yam Fries?
And Dang Cold, hurry up and GET OUT HERE!
Oh, and the pics are my hubby's. But I like 'em.
284. Shiz said:
RazDreams needs to discover tinyurl.com
285. Annejelynn said:
Someone please tell me how to do tinyurl
286. RazDreams said:
(um, razdreams is already aware of tinyurl.com. she just forgot to use it this time. hence, the above apologize. thanks though.)
287. Dang Cold.. said:
LOL!!
hey shiz you live right by my friends place. No haven't tried the yam fries but the panini club is killer.
bard on the beach every summer baby!! I love it.
:D
288. Closet Metro said:
annejelynn. go to tinyurl.com
put long url in box.
copy new tiny url.
live happily ever after.
289. Dang Cold.. said:
I still love you razzy *hug*
I've polluted this page so many times I wouldn't dream of shaking my finger at you :P
290. Shiz said:
Dang, we moved to Kits in December from the West End - and we miss the West End, the Seawall, Yaletown, and Stanley Park so much we're moving back. We like Kits a lot, but we LOVE the West End.
291. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Raz, I shake my A1 bottle at you.
Lovingly, of course.
292. Lex said:
Coming out of Lurkdom to inquire of the "poop tea" - Are you talking about the Smooth Move Tea? I just started using that to, well, help things along. Best stuff ever!
293. RazDreams said:
thanks, dang... it's good to know there are other less-than-perfect people who post to this site besides me. whew!!! (make a mistake here and it's like flies on crap, i tell ya. re: yesterday, for example.)
294. Shiz said:
Dang and Bean, Bin 941 is also very yummy.
http://www.bin941.com/
295. RazDreams said:
smooth move tea *is* awesome, but not always as "smooth" as i'd like it. sometimes slightly cramp-inducing...
296. laurenbove said:
That makes me think of when I was a kid...we had this saying: "Smooth move, Ex-lax" when someone would do something clumsily.
297. Shiz said:
Bad-bottom-system cramps make me rethink wanting a family. If I can't handle the pain, and I cry like a baby every time, how can I ever give birth?
I think that every time.
298. ashik said:
Shiz - I think there being a baby at the end instead of, you know, poop, might help.
299. ashik said:
Although, I might have never experienced the sort of pain you speak of.
300. Marti said:
Part-timer,
I have to ask. What movie is that from?