Just because I'm (hopefully) in the top 10. I'm a HUGE fan of Dooce, and read it religiously every day, just like the rest of you. It's snowing here today too!
wow. top ten i think. didn't even realize that mattered to me.
02.22.05 - 02:39 AM
9. meghan said:
Living in the Gulf of Arabia i just got to say ...."Damn I miss seasons"
02.22.05 - 02:39 AM
10. laura said:
cow juice is bad for you some say.
i hope leta isn't "lactose intolerant"
then you'll have to find out how much goats milk is. goats milk with the smaller molecules.
02.22.05 - 02:44 AM
11. Sarah M said:
..........BUT I LOVE DOOCE!
02.22.05 - 02:45 AM
12. hannah said:
Top 20! Yay!
Also, that's a lot of milk. I can't even imagine buying milk in those quantities. I get mine in pint bottles off the milkman when at home, and small little pint boxes when at uni.
I can totally believe that that dude would rip it, it's always the ones you least expect.
Look at that guys pimp hat! Who wears a pimp hat to go skiing? Pimps I guess.
02.22.05 - 03:08 AM
16. stephen brinkman said:
Hi milk in dallas is free at the homeless kitchen. For me its 1.99 at Kroger and I only buy stuff that's on sale since I'm so fortunate to have apt. Lived in toyota 5 months. Yes some old guys like me 61 years don't need the little blue pill on or off slope! Matter of keeping fit, cannot do anything about clock. But do offer biological clock repair!
02.22.05 - 03:09 AM
17. natalia said:
!!
where's everybody? normaly there are about 200 comments by the time I get here.
Great pics and blog Heather ! :)
I'm curious, how hard was it snowing there? This weekend I had the great privaledge of joining some people to the Appaclachain* Mnts. The snow was not falling, and the slopes were still fun. I fell three times.
02.22.05 - 03:25 AM
20. Becky said:
I'm so confused -- What time is it, anyway? Did the Armstrongs have fun on the slopes?
Very good of you to give your international audience a chance to get in the top 50! Presumably though, this means that you're up in the middle of the night with a sleepless child ... sorry about that!
When you say he ripped it, do you mean that he ripped his pants, ripped up his body in a horrific wipe out, or that for an old man in geeky glasses he was surprisingly adept at slicing up the powder? Sorry, just not clear enough for me. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease...
#18 Michael: Looks like a Greek Fisherman's Hat to me....http://www.greekshops.com/images/Hats/black_cotton.jpg...of course, they make them in wool, also..
I'm not so sure I would want to ski NOW while I'm semi-young (I'm a third of the way to being dead, ya know) let alone, ski when the threat of breaking a hip would be soooo great :) No offense to any old-sters out there in Doocedom
Great Picture! Love winter, we have a lot of snow, here in Finland also :)))
Dooce, I don't know do you read this, but suddenly
I feel like sharing my thoughts with you and your fans.
I started to read your blog only a few months ago,
and I must admit I got totally hooked.
You are the best thing that happened to the Internet,
and my sometimes boring work days in my new job.
(Which I am greatful of,
comparing to the 12 hours/days I used to have)
There is so many things I love written by you,
don't want to list them all. Maybe the best is your
monthly newsletter to Dear Leta,
which make me want to have a baby :)
ME.WANT.BABY! This is huge!
You inspire a lot of us, with your ALL CAPS.
I even played with the thought of starting my own blog,
but I guess I could not resist posting semi-mean, but FUNNY things
about my co-workers, and about the crazy family of my husband.
But because you warned us what will happen, I won't do it.
The other day I run out of your recent daily updates,
I started reading your archives, and I realised
that you might enjoy this website:
Terrible Twos is a comic strip by Australian
cartoonist John Cook, and follows the adventures
of his daughter Gaby, a spirited toddler
(just like your beautiful Leta)
who strives to make her mark in the world.
I am posting this link because the picture where Leta
"This is what happens when you have to go pee,
and the baby insists upon joining you"
totally reminds me of Gabi.
Check it, you'll love it...
-Kiki
"who is also constipated, and after reading your blog,
is proud of it"
For some of us, this isn't up early. In fact when Dooce is just getting up, alot of us are done with our work day. Google "Christopher Columbus" if you get a chance, and "Time Zones"...you'd be amazed what you can learn!
That guy looks like he belongs on an Alaskan fishing boat. Maybe he knows the Gordon's Fisherman? He definitely has good taste coming through with the old man hat and glasses combo. Screw goggles and hand me my Blue Blockers!
These photos have me cursing the South again. There is no good skiing around us in any direction for at least six to seven hours drive. Canada, take me away!
In light of the extensive Paris Hilton coverage that took place on Jon's site, I was hoping to hear something from the Dooce on the latest mess. Thoughts?
jesus effing christ this is the earliest daily photo EVER.
02.22.05 - 04:16 AM
41. Bill Wolfe said:
I never really noticed, but it says the first comment was made a 3 o'clock in the morning... do you usually post in the middle of the night? I thought I was the only one awake all of on a monday night/tuesday morning watching the hours drift by in the soft light of my laptop screen
Dooce inspired me to start blogging again too! I've seen a lot of blogs that have started in the last few months, I think of it as the Dooce-effect. I can't quite remember how I came across the site, but I've been a loyal reader ever since last summer.
I had no idea that Randy Newman could 'rip it on the slopes'.
Neat.
02.22.05 - 05:08 AM
52. hannah said:
#23; Aussie: Which guy in Love, Actually?
And as for the early commenting, I left mine at about ten to eleven in the morning. So not so early, although with the vodkaness of last night, quite early. I like this whole time zone thing meaning I can leave a low numbered comment.
02.22.05 - 05:11 AM
53. Kendra said:
WOW, almost top 50! I think this IS the earliest daily photo ever.
Love the snow. Moved to Thunder Bay from Southern Ontario last Sept and snow snow snow. I love it!!
02.22.05 - 05:18 AM
54. TexaRican said:
WTF? Usually around this time I am waiting for the new Dooce o' the day! Jeez, were y'all all up doing the Ebay treasure hunt or something? :)
the dude with the glasses looks like an extra from Columbo.
02.22.05 - 05:33 AM
60. nika said:
that looks like so much fun, I'd even risk my neck, forgetting how much skiing/snowboarding scares me.
02.22.05 - 05:35 AM
61. MyChelle said:
So early today!
My 37 year old significant other DRINKS a GALLON of milk every 3 or 4 days. Seriously...YUCK. Whole milk, too - I got a pretty please baby buy me the real stuff when I tried to slide down to 2%.
And that dude with the glasses looks straight outta 1963. I have a pic of my dad wearing just that hat & those specs...
02.22.05 - 05:35 AM
62. beachgal said:
I love looking at pictures of snow, especially when I don't have to actually deal WITH the snow.
Hope Leta didn't keep you up all nite and that's why this was so early.
Look at that snow! One of the rare times I went skiing, I was being my usual chatty self, and so I chirped to the man next to me on the lift, "Ski much?" He nodded. My friend was collapsing with laughter. He was National Ski Patrol. Durrrrrrrr.
02.22.05 - 05:40 AM
64. boadicea said:
hey dooce,
love your site! If you ever get tired of being famous and a fabulous stay-at-home mom you could always go work for BYU. According to http://www.employeeinsider.com they are in the top 5 places to work. Ha!
You're out there skiing and having fun, meanwhile, GEORGE and all of us Texans are stuck here in 80 degrees of poo...until today. It will be 70, then tomorrow, 50!
The dude with the glasses looks like Stephen Merchant's (from "The Office") dad who makes cameos as a janitor on the show. Maybe you had a very very minor celebrity run in!
02.22.05 - 06:01 AM
67. Cheryl said:
HHAHAHAH When I read "ripped it" I immediately thought of farting... and now I can't stop laughing!
did you know that one of the ways you can tell if your kid/friend/neighbor/ favorite blogger is a GOTH? yep...if she eats count chocula cereal! seriously. the religious right has passed out pamphlets stating it so! also, people who complain of boredom, insist on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, and worst of all, watch cable television or any other corrupted media sources ARE GOTH!
I dunno, Scott. I'm still waiting for everyone else to admit they had childhood fantasies of Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry in a naked rasslin' match.
Woah, it must have been one sleepless night for Dooce. The first post was at 3:17! When I read the title for the photo, I thought it meant that that old guy ripped a huge fart out on the slopes. I was trying to figure out how Dooce heard him let one rip. I guess I am not up with the Cali/Utah cool-speak.
Bucky, I personally had a thing for Cap'n Crunch.
02.22.05 - 06:25 AM
78. smacks said:
He sure looks like he could rip it. As in Faaaaarrrrrt!
02.22.05 - 06:26 AM
79. Laurie said:
I have somehow developed a milk allergy in the past couple of months, yet I'm still envious of gallons of milk for 2.50.
When you say "ripped it," do you mean he was a good skier or that he unleashed a big fart?
02.22.05 - 06:37 AM
86. RazDreams said:
there's a website where you can submit short-story entries for a random photo. my submission for this photo would be that jacques (the glasses guy) is a spy following red-and-blue couple, trying to catch them in a secret "snow" (drug) deal that's about to go down. red-and-blue couple end up stabbing jacques on the slopes with their ski pools, and the heavy storm buries his body until spring. bring it!
Hey everyone! Dooce, when you say he ripped it on the slopes, you mean he was good, right? Not that he was farting? Just after reading comment #84, I wasn't too sure anymore.
Speaking of farts, my DH let one rip this morning. It was so load that I heard it even though I was downstairs, with two sets of doors closed between myself and the stairs.
02.22.05 - 06:40 AM
90. dv said:
So funny.
A while ago the comments were:
"first!"
Then it turned out they were 8th or something
People are more carefull these days...
'First?'
By the way, are black red and blue the only colors allowed when skying?
Wow. That dude is badass. I could never pull off that hat/shades combo.
I had to drink goat's milk as a child and I have to say, it's awful. It's like milk that's been sitting on the counter for a day or so, and sombody decided the way to fix that problem was to heavily dilute it with water. ackackack.
What happened to Paris this time?
02.22.05 - 06:42 AM
93. Southern Fried Girl said:
Wow, talk about being early today. Here it is only 8:45 and I am like way down the line. Goodness. :) Here's to everyone having a better day than I did yesterday.
I hope that he "ripped it" as a great skiier or boarder, not as a guy who shouldn't have had the chili for lunch. Old guys that are good skiiers/boarders are cool. Old guys with bad gas are just funny.
02.22.05 - 06:47 AM
96. cb said:
Organic milk is $5.something a gallon here. We only buy that ever since our teen son started getting painful swellings under his nipples that the pediatrician said could be the result of excess estrogen-like hormones in food and water. Talking with other moms, I found out that some of my kids' girl friends had their first periods at 9! We went to organic dairy and filtered water, pay more, but no boy boobies here.
so, these skiing photos kind of ook me out a little. my friend just went skiing (well, a few weeks ago) and he hit a tree and broke his neck. they say he'll be okay (after 4 surgeries), but he had a severe injury to his head called DEGLOVING. i'd never heard that before, but *shudder* i bet that's one thing you never want in life: to have your head degloved.
I've been thinking about the ripped it topic very deeply, and I think Dooce must mean he was good. If he tooted on the slopes, it would have just been carried off on the wind, or stuck in his ski pants.
02.22.05 - 06:50 AM
100. shakes said:
How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T!
02.22.05 - 06:51 AM
101. smacks said:
Or....she surely could have had her head down there and heard the explosion.
cb - When I taught we had an 8th grader whose mother told us in conference that his chest had been producing some kind of discharge - same reason. Must be mortifying for the kids.
re #64:
WTF???? Whoever did that review for employeeinsider.com either a) has never worked for BYU, or b) is an Honor Code Office Nazi.
02.22.05 - 07:00 AM
108. ashik said:
cb - I totally agree with you. But are you fully organic? (i.e. eggs, chicken, other meats, etc - those have hormones also, but are much harder to get and are really expensive)
OMG..you mean Mr. Maggo cut the cheese while skiing? That's so hot. I'm hopin' Bucky's right and he's in the lodge later - ready to give lap-dances. Anyone who's ear folds around their collar's OK in MY book.
The thought of boy boobs and boy boob discharge is making me slightly nauseous.
As for the farting Walter Mathau, I think it would be quite possible to smell it on the slopes. Especially if Dooce sat behind him on the ski lift. Or next to him. Farts seem to hang in the air longer when it is cold.
02.22.05 - 07:05 AM
111. AndiMAC said:
im too uncoordinated to ski. I'll just sit by the fire looking cute having some Bailey's irish coffee. And DAM 2.50 is very cheap for milk. Here its 3.49 a gallon.
I pay $1.40 a liter here. That would be $5.32 a gallon. Good thing I don't like milk much.
My baby is going to be getting off formula soon though. Hey, maybe formula is cheaper. In fact, I saw a sale on Sprite, $1.00 for a liter. My baby likes SPRITE
Some babies have to have soy milk, Andrea. My little guy has a stomach-o-steel, but many babies cannot tolerate the lactose. Several friends of mine were forced to give soy milk to their baby. I can't imagine the taste is as good, but it is better than nothing. Or you can do like Rich and give the baby Sprite. lol
While 6 year old was helping me clean up the kitchen after dinner, I smelled something. I said: I think I smell a skunk. He said: I think you smell my fart.
Am currently drinking hot chocolate in honour of all the snow in the pic (and that is still falling in London)...
I clap and smile every time my 10 week old 'lets rip' (it saves on him screaming with stomach pain later on) ...to all the parents....at what age do I start chastising him for it instead????
Matt in London -- I'm 39 years old, and my Mom *still* smiles and claps when I let one rip.
You're supposed to chastise them at some point?
02.22.05 - 07:33 AM
122. Andrea in Canada said:
Pimp hat! Angie, I agree...I thought he looked a little sketchie myself.
THE SNOW! It's so beautiful...that's how I want Christmas to be one year. We live on Vancouver Island and we rarely get snow and if we do, it melts as it hits the ground. I love that beautiful fluffy Christmas snow.
Hey, soy milk isn't that bad. We tried the chocolate-flavored kind. It's marketed under the name "Silk". My 4-year-old wouldn't drink it because she saw it coming out of the carton and was like, "What's soy milk? Isn't that a kind of bean? Beans make me fart!"
Her mind was totally made up. I couldn't even sneak it in, after that. My 1-year-old, on the other hand, loves everything chocolate flavored and kept throwing her sippy cup at me and looking meaningfully at the fridge.
God, I love having kids.
BTW, I put in my two weeks' notice here at work today. I'm so happy.
Michelle!
I am so jealous! I can't wait for the day I can post that I've given my 2 weeks...
Congrats.
Oh, and that's one damn smart 4 year old ya got there!
I once entered the elevetor at the basement level of my parents condo complex. I walked in and some old man shuffled out. The door closed behind me and my nose caught a wiff of some of the most rancid ,old man, colon wind ever. The elevator stopped one floor up on the ground floor and 5 people walked in. The door closed and all of them caught a wif and turned to me thinking I sprayed the elevator with nerve gas.
Nice snow! Being a former Mo from Utah, I enjoy reading your site. The snow is the only thing I miss about Zion. Oh yeah, I miss Rio Grande, Arctic Circle and The Pie.
Matt In London: Our 14 month old was with us as we looked at a house for sale with our realtor. We were standing in the foyer when she asked "What do you think?" about the house. Buddy ripped a long, loud fart that I swear had an exclamation mark on it. He also had a great big old smile on his face. :)
AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said at 08:46AM, 02.22.2005:
I love how his ear gently overlaps his collar.
*SNICKER*
02.22.05 - 08:05 AM
141. cb said:
ashik--Yeah, we've been buying organic meats, eggs and cheese too. Or not eating it at all and going semi-vegetarian. My kids still get non-organic cheese and meat on pizzas they get with friends, but maybe once a week. The boy boobie thing stopped after a couple of months off regular dairy.
We don't use soy milk because my husband's family all have thyroid problems, and soy makes that worse. I'll have soy miso or some tofu every so often for myself, but not for him or the kids.
Soy also has something like female estrogen in it, so it could also cause boy boobs or early menses. Plastic that is heated also gives off a chemical that our bodies treat as estrogen--like, if you heat leftovers in plastic bowls in the microwave.
Cathi--It was pretty freaky for my son, but once he realized he wasn't a hermaphrodite, he felt a lot better!
PS--I miss Walter Mathau. He had such a perfect old guy voice, even when he was younger. (Never heard him fart, though.)
Rich, What a cutie pie!
There is a double standard in our house where my Coca-Cola is concerned. *I* am the *only* one who drinks it. The last thing I need is three kids hepped up on caffiene... and drinking my Coca-Cola!
The one time or two that Punkin had a sip, her eyes lit up a little too brightly. :)
To rip it like that on the slopes you gotta raise one leg (which gives you leverage) while simultaneously crouching (which builds up pressure) and then push hard, but in short controlled bursts.
02.22.05 - 08:10 AM
149. AndreaBT said:
Let's hear it for double standards with our kids! Mine is anything with sugar, particularly chocolate. My oldest daughter is convinced the cookies are grown-up food (like coffee and wine). Believe me, the tantrums she can throw when she's had just a smidge too much sugar completely justify it.
Gia -- I told my friends I was going to hire a skywriter to celebrate when my first daughter was potty-trained.
Turned out, it was too expensive.
02.22.05 - 08:11 AM
151. Matt in London said:
CK - I have a brother who is 15 years younger than me...one of the first phrases I taught him was 'What's that smell?'...one day, aged approx. 2, he is in a communal changing room with my mother when he shouts at my mum: "Mummy - that ladys bottom smells"...half the women cracked up, the other half went very red, whilst my mum fled the room, dragging him behind her...
Amanda B - of course I do - Abba were a great band....
AndreaBT: Our oldest doesn't like chocolate AT ALL. She just refuses to eat it. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd swear she was switched at birth...
Sweet Pea, however, our middle child, LOVES "kawk-o-wit miwlk."
Here is an embarrassing fart story. My sister's three month old definitely has a gift for passing gas. When Evelyn was just three weeks old, my sister decided to take a jaunt to Barnes & Noble with the baby. As she was pushing the stroller down the cookbook aisle, Evelyn (mind you, she was THREE weeks old) let rip quite possible the loudest fart known to mankind. My sister peeked inside the stroller, totally shocked. People turned their heads and looked up from their books and gave my sister a disgusted look for even insinuating that it was the innocent baby that let one rip. She said Evelyn just sat there with a huge smile on her little face. My sister ran out of Barnes & Noble, and hasn't returned since.
02.22.05 - 08:18 AM
158. AndreaBT said:
ck, mine is the same with sprite (or coke, or anything carbonated). she doesn't like the fizz! I say...so be it!
holding the baby now...whichy is why my typing is suddenly in lowercase and may have some errors...
CK, I am glad to know that my niece isn't the only one who creates man-farts. Little Patrick is a riot when he lets one rip. He will fart, then smile, and then get this quizzical look on his face. He furrows his brow and says "What's that smell?" He is a shifty little fellow.
Circus Kelli, Yabba Dabba Do at 13 months old?? Yeah, I think you found the genius in your family. I worry that Raquel (17 months old now) doesn't say much. I mean she says a lot, just nothing we can understand. She can count to 3 in Chinese though. Problem is she just says it all day and won't shut up!
I second your Diet Coke comment. The Horror is right.
02.22.05 - 08:26 AM
166. Kellie said:
Wow, I guess I should feel very fortunate that milk here is almost always $1.77/gallon. I haven't paid more than $2.50 since I lived in Tennessee, where with tax it was nearly $4 a gallon.
I think I shall go give myself a diary-stache in celebration of my good fortune.
Ern - I worked in grocery store all through college. I'd "lay a mine" next to a stockboy as he's stacking canned goods (he's stuck there for a while) and let the shoppers who pass him by give him the dirty looks.
CM--that is hilarious! My father-in-law always farts in stores and then walks to another aisle. But not to frame someone. Just because he had to let it rip!
02.22.05 - 08:32 AM
174. beachgal said:
My one dog does exactly that, Ern. She lets this little pfft fart and then turns around and looks at her butt. We died laughing the first time we saw it. Hubby didn't believe me till he saw her do it.
Years ago when my nephew who's almost 20 was about 3, I was waiting with him inside the lingerie department at Macy's department store while my sister tried on bras or something.
A woman walked by us, pausing right in front of us while looking at a swimsuit, farted several times, rather loudly. And then walked away.
My nephew, in the midst of manners basic training at that point in his life, shouted out in his loudest voice "Eww - that stinks! Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
When the woman in question only walked more quickly, my nephew decided to give chase, continuing to yell as he ran, "Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
I had reached out for him, but too late. He was at her feet, demanding that she apologize for "stinking up the place", as he put it.
I calmly walked over, and asked him to lower his voice. Then I smiled at the woman, and I was about to apologize, but she cut me off to say, in her snottiest voice "Why don't you teach him some MANNERS?"
I said "Well, he's just learning, he's only 3. What's your excuse?"
Manners are excellent. Yesterday I was in the bathroom throwing up (wheeee! I'm such an idiot for getting pregnant on purpose). I closed the door so I wouldn't upset my toddler. Within seconds he was knocking on the door shouting "Pardon YOU Mama! Pardon YOUUUUUU for coughing. Mammmma! SAY PARDON ME MAMA."
I was horribly sick with both of mine for the entire first trimester. I actually LOST weight. Anything would set it off. Shaving cream will never ever be in my house again!
02.22.05 - 08:53 AM
181. carolina said:
ooh I'm so jealous...I want to board utah... but hey I guess Tahoe isn't so bad =) Glad you're out there tearing it up!
02.22.05 - 08:53 AM
182. G-Dawg said:
Potty talk. It is always funny.
02.22.05 - 08:54 AM
183. hannah said:
All those of you who are whores for the 'proper' English language; come and live in my student house. Two English lit' students and a historian who is incredibly pedantic as to the usage of language. Add in the fact that we all have American textbooks and you get a lot of annoyed screeching and some correcting. We even correct the television when we think it has become too American-ised. Word programs incense us; all that changing of s to z.
I remember when my mom was pregnant with my brother and she would throw up, it would terrify me. I thought for sure something terrible was wrong. I used to hide under a chair in the living room while she heaved.
I saw a bumber sticker yesterday:
ASS, GAS or GRASS, no one rides for free.
and embarassing moment of the day:
Got to the parking garage elevator and thought I was safe and ripped one off...just as the door opened...where was the ding? WHERE WAS THE DING???? It didn't DING. OMG...the only thing I did was say 'good morning and get on' and this lady stood next to me and giggled. I BUSTED UP laughing. We were the only ones.
WAY TO GO Closet Metro and Amanda B for getting your names and pictures posted!!! I really love the Say no to A-1 sign in front of the ass picture. Classic.
So CM and Amanda B....does this mean we can ALL send in butt shots to HeatherDooce? I bet she would get some 'interesting' pictures until the Leta picture is posted, hehe.....
02.22.05 - 09:04 AM
191. Southern Fried Girl said:
Bodily functions are just funny. No two ways about it. Gotta love potty humor.
1. kitten said:
can't believe I care, but first?
2. Nocturnal said:
Hmmm...fresh powder. Second?
3. Rob from London said:
Just because I'm (hopefully) in the top 10. I'm a HUGE fan of Dooce, and read it religiously every day, just like the rest of you. It's snowing here today too!
4. Kelly said:
AMEN to NO MORE high cost of formula, yes, whole milk rocks!
5. jac said:
I like snow. That's because it's summer where I am. I like OTHER people having snow.
6. Sarah said:
Oooooo I'm jealous. We're slugging through humid summer days here in Australia.
7. Sarah M said:
The white stuff? What, what? What is THAT! * has never seen snow *.
I suddenly dislike Australia even more
8. candace said:
wow. top ten i think. didn't even realize that mattered to me.
9. meghan said:
Living in the Gulf of Arabia i just got to say ...."Damn I miss seasons"
10. laura said:
cow juice is bad for you some say.
i hope leta isn't "lactose intolerant"
then you'll have to find out how much goats milk is. goats milk with the smaller molecules.
11. Sarah M said:
..........BUT I LOVE DOOCE!
12. hannah said:
Top 20! Yay!
Also, that's a lot of milk. I can't even imagine buying milk in those quantities. I get mine in pint bottles off the milkman when at home, and small little pint boxes when at uni.
I can totally believe that that dude would rip it, it's always the ones you least expect.
13. diippi said:
whats up with this ? please dont tease me again !
14. David said:
Jeeeez. I thought I was up early but then again I am in Yuuurrrrp.
15. Angie said:
Look at that guys pimp hat! Who wears a pimp hat to go skiing? Pimps I guess.
16. stephen brinkman said:
Hi milk in dallas is free at the homeless kitchen. For me its 1.99 at Kroger and I only buy stuff that's on sale since I'm so fortunate to have apt. Lived in toyota 5 months. Yes some old guys like me 61 years don't need the little blue pill on or off slope! Matter of keeping fit, cannot do anything about clock. But do offer biological clock repair!
17. natalia said:
!!
where's everybody? normaly there are about 200 comments by the time I get here.
Great pics and blog Heather ! :)
18. Michael said:
What would you call that hat he's wearing?
19. David Kornahrens said:
I'm curious, how hard was it snowing there? This weekend I had the great privaledge of joining some people to the Appaclachain* Mnts. The snow was not falling, and the slopes were still fun. I fell three times.
20. Becky said:
I'm so confused -- What time is it, anyway? Did the Armstrongs have fun on the slopes?
21. David said:
Very good of you to give your international audience a chance to get in the top 50! Presumably though, this means that you're up in the middle of the night with a sleepless child ... sorry about that!
22. Jack said:
Man I wish we had snow here in Australia.
23. Aussie said:
The dude with the glasses looks like the guy from Love Actually :O
24. Jason said:
When you say he ripped it, do you mean that he ripped his pants, ripped up his body in a horrific wipe out, or that for an old man in geeky glasses he was surprisingly adept at slicing up the powder? Sorry, just not clear enough for me. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease...
25. Heatheranne said:
Oh, it's too early for me. When I read the title of the picture, my first thought was "Ha ha, he farted!"
26. Alison said:
So when do we get to see a picture of you snowboarding?
27. Becky said:
Please forgive my lapse in reading comprehension. I've now re-read your post about snowboarding, and read Jon's as well. GLAD you had fun! :>D
28. Lydia said:
Hi Dooce!
I am waving at you from australia- where it is really really hot
29. SueFromOhio said:
#18 Michael: Looks like a Greek Fisherman's Hat to me....http://www.greekshops.com/images/Hats/black_cotton.jpg...of course, they make them in wool, also..
I'm not so sure I would want to ski NOW while I'm semi-young (I'm a third of the way to being dead, ya know) let alone, ski when the threat of breaking a hip would be soooo great :) No offense to any old-sters out there in Doocedom
30. shauny said:
g'day heather! it's snowing here in edinburgh too!
the dude in the hat is cool. kinda looks like the hat john lennon wore in the Help! movie. now there's some good skiing.
31. edith said:
come to australia!! it's beautiful
32. rick said:
Is that Buddy Hackett?
33. Alison said:
That guy is so going to score in the bar later, isn't he, 'specially if he continues wearing that hat. And the glasses.
34. Kiki said:
Great Picture! Love winter, we have a lot of snow, here in Finland also :)))
Dooce, I don't know do you read this, but suddenly
I feel like sharing my thoughts with you and your fans.
I started to read your blog only a few months ago,
and I must admit I got totally hooked.
You are the best thing that happened to the Internet,
and my sometimes boring work days in my new job.
(Which I am greatful of,
comparing to the 12 hours/days I used to have)
There is so many things I love written by you,
don't want to list them all. Maybe the best is your
monthly newsletter to Dear Leta,
which make me want to have a baby :)
ME.WANT.BABY! This is huge!
You inspire a lot of us, with your ALL CAPS.
I even played with the thought of starting my own blog,
but I guess I could not resist posting semi-mean, but FUNNY things
about my co-workers, and about the crazy family of my husband.
But because you warned us what will happen, I won't do it.
The other day I run out of your recent daily updates,
I started reading your archives, and I realised
that you might enjoy this website:
http://cartoons.sev.com.au/Terrible-Twos/
Terrible Twos is a comic strip by Australian
cartoonist John Cook, and follows the adventures
of his daughter Gaby, a spirited toddler
(just like your beautiful Leta)
who strives to make her mark in the world.
I am posting this link because the picture where Leta
"This is what happens when you have to go pee,
and the baby insists upon joining you"
totally reminds me of Gabi.
Check it, you'll love it...
-Kiki
"who is also constipated, and after reading your blog,
is proud of it"
35. saralynnmo said:
Why are you all up so early?
36. koof said:
it's only 7 here, but damn dooce is up EARLY
37. Jason said:
For some of us, this isn't up early. In fact when Dooce is just getting up, alot of us are done with our work day. Google "Christopher Columbus" if you get a chance, and "Time Zones"...you'd be amazed what you can learn!
38. Scott said:
That guy looks like he belongs on an Alaskan fishing boat. Maybe he knows the Gordon's Fisherman? He definitely has good taste coming through with the old man hat and glasses combo. Screw goggles and hand me my Blue Blockers!
These photos have me cursing the South again. There is no good skiing around us in any direction for at least six to seven hours drive. Canada, take me away!
39. Jason said:
In light of the extensive Paris Hilton coverage that took place on Jon's site, I was hoping to hear something from the Dooce on the latest mess. Thoughts?
40. spoonleg said:
jesus effing christ this is the earliest daily photo EVER.
41. Bill Wolfe said:
I never really noticed, but it says the first comment was made a 3 o'clock in the morning... do you usually post in the middle of the night? I thought I was the only one awake all of on a monday night/tuesday morning watching the hours drift by in the soft light of my laptop screen
42. nudging30 said:
Dooce inspired me to start blogging again too! I've seen a lot of blogs that have started in the last few months, I think of it as the Dooce-effect. I can't quite remember how I came across the site, but I've been a loyal reader ever since last summer.
43. Kyrrah said:
SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
44. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Looks like someone had a late night in Utah. Sneaky, lady, very sneaky!
The dude in glasses? He'll be naked in the lodge later for your dining and table dancing pleasure.
45. Paige said:
That is the kind of snow I expected when moving to Germany from Texas. This damned valley cursed my snowfall.
46. deLish said:
Snow is beautiful but no fun to deal with. I definitely don't miss Michigan winters...
47. spoonleg said:
He looks like he totally ripped it in his adult diapers.
48. squish said:
Interestin' hat.
49. squish said:
Makes me want to start singing:
"Babe, I got you babe,
I got you babe..."
50. romy said:
squish - "i got yew, babe."
imitating sonny you know.
sorry. grisly.
nice pic.
51. CanadianAmy said:
I had no idea that Randy Newman could 'rip it on the slopes'.
Neat.
52. hannah said:
#23; Aussie: Which guy in Love, Actually?
And as for the early commenting, I left mine at about ten to eleven in the morning. So not so early, although with the vodkaness of last night, quite early. I like this whole time zone thing meaning I can leave a low numbered comment.
53. Kendra said:
WOW, almost top 50! I think this IS the earliest daily photo ever.
Love the snow. Moved to Thunder Bay from Southern Ontario last Sept and snow snow snow. I love it!!
54. TexaRican said:
WTF? Usually around this time I am waiting for the new Dooce o' the day! Jeez, were y'all all up doing the Ebay treasure hunt or something? :)
55. rich said:
"ripped it on the slopes"
uh... that sounds way Californian to me.
56. Mamaramma said:
Mmmmm... I want to go to Solitude Village and Restaurants.
57. Abbey said:
ooo can't believe I am in before these posts hit 100!
Dooce - read religiously (although not very biblical myself) every day. You are a funny, talented, inspirational lady. Thanks for always sharing...
A girl from Belfast City...probably THE ONLY ONE (yes, CAPS LOCK ROCKS!)
58. desiree said:
so beautiful!
59. bushra said:
the dude with the glasses looks like an extra from Columbo.
60. nika said:
that looks like so much fun, I'd even risk my neck, forgetting how much skiing/snowboarding scares me.
61. MyChelle said:
So early today!
My 37 year old significant other DRINKS a GALLON of milk every 3 or 4 days. Seriously...YUCK. Whole milk, too - I got a pretty please baby buy me the real stuff when I tried to slide down to 2%.
And that dude with the glasses looks straight outta 1963. I have a pic of my dad wearing just that hat & those specs...
62. beachgal said:
I love looking at pictures of snow, especially when I don't have to actually deal WITH the snow.
Hope Leta didn't keep you up all nite and that's why this was so early.
63. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Look at that snow! One of the rare times I went skiing, I was being my usual chatty self, and so I chirped to the man next to me on the lift, "Ski much?" He nodded. My friend was collapsing with laughter. He was National Ski Patrol. Durrrrrrrr.
64. boadicea said:
hey dooce,
love your site! If you ever get tired of being famous and a fabulous stay-at-home mom you could always go work for BYU. According to http://www.employeeinsider.com they are in the top 5 places to work. Ha!
65. Melanie S. said:
You're out there skiing and having fun, meanwhile, GEORGE and all of us Texans are stuck here in 80 degrees of poo...until today. It will be 70, then tomorrow, 50!
My head is going to explode!
66. Mamaramma said:
The dude with the glasses looks like Stephen Merchant's (from "The Office") dad who makes cameos as a janitor on the show. Maybe you had a very very minor celebrity run in!
67. Cheryl said:
HHAHAHAH When I read "ripped it" I immediately thought of farting... and now I can't stop laughing!
68. the niffer said:
I love the international flavour we're getting this morning thanks to the 'early' posting. Makes the world feel so small.
69. meREDith said:
East Caosters that check DOOCE each morning have a chance to get in before 100 comments now too!!!
Rain+fog-no snow= blah!!!
70. honey bunny said:
heather,
did you know that one of the ways you can tell if your kid/friend/neighbor/ favorite blogger is a GOTH? yep...if she eats count chocula cereal! seriously. the religious right has passed out pamphlets stating it so! also, people who complain of boredom, insist on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, and worst of all, watch cable television or any other corrupted media sources ARE GOTH!
RELIGIOUS PAMPHLETS DO NOT LIE!
it's ok. i'm "goth" too ;)
71. Scott said:
If you are goth for eating Count Chocula, what exactly are you if you eat Frankenberry or Boo Berry?
72. LadyBug said:
Cool pic.
But I sincerely hope you were not up with a sick and/or cranky baby at 3:00 AM.
73. LadyBug said:
Oh, and if you WERE up with a sick/cranky baby at 3:00 AM, you totally should've called me, 'cause I was too.
74. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I dunno, Scott. I'm still waiting for everyone else to admit they had childhood fantasies of Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry in a naked rasslin' match.
Come clean, people. You'll feel so much better.
75. Danielle said:
Of course, he ripped it on the slopes.
Dontcha know? All the cool kids wear glasses.
8-)
76. Danielle said:
Mmmmm.... Lucky Charms. I loved those little marshmallows.
and no, for those of you who 'know' my chocolate addiction, I didn't eat chocolate cereal.
*whispers*
(I just drank hot chocolate everyday)
77. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Woah, it must have been one sleepless night for Dooce. The first post was at 3:17! When I read the title for the photo, I thought it meant that that old guy ripped a huge fart out on the slopes. I was trying to figure out how Dooce heard him let one rip. I guess I am not up with the Cali/Utah cool-speak.
Bucky, I personally had a thing for Cap'n Crunch.
78. smacks said:
He sure looks like he could rip it. As in Faaaaarrrrrt!
79. Laurie said:
I have somehow developed a milk allergy in the past couple of months, yet I'm still envious of gallons of milk for 2.50.
80. Michelle Brady said:
Wow, top 100! AND I'm late today? What did everybody else say? I want to be part of the conversation!
81. Evil Stepmother said:
Hey, no fair on the super-early! Not that I'm ever first, but at least today I can blame it on Dooce.
So Eugene Levy-looking guy really showed off, huh? Who'da thunk it?
82. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I don't know about Eugene Levy. I think he resembles the late Walter Mathau. I bet those Grumpy Old Men really knew how to rip it.
83. squish said:
I was looking at Jon's photos at Blurbomat.
I like them, but Jon, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel!
Wasn't that a Doors song?
84. smacks said:
Old man gas. Delish.
85. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
When you say "ripped it," do you mean he was a good skier or that he unleashed a big fart?
86. RazDreams said:
there's a website where you can submit short-story entries for a random photo. my submission for this photo would be that jacques (the glasses guy) is a spy following red-and-blue couple, trying to catch them in a secret "snow" (drug) deal that's about to go down. red-and-blue couple end up stabbing jacques on the slopes with their ski pools, and the heavy storm buries his body until spring. bring it!
87. heidillydoo said:
Hey everyone! Dooce, when you say he ripped it on the slopes, you mean he was good, right? Not that he was farting? Just after reading comment #84, I wasn't too sure anymore.
88. Gooooder said:
those glasses are awesome.
you should make bearded armstrong wear cop glasses on the slopes, he'd blind people with the snow reflection on them!
89. Shmee said:
Speaking of farts, my DH let one rip this morning. It was so load that I heard it even though I was downstairs, with two sets of doors closed between myself and the stairs.
90. dv said:
So funny.
A while ago the comments were:
"first!"
Then it turned out they were 8th or something
People are more carefull these days...
'First?'
By the way, are black red and blue the only colors allowed when skying?
91. heidillydoo said:
gaseous anal explosion
92. Amanda B. said:
Wow. That dude is badass. I could never pull off that hat/shades combo.
I had to drink goat's milk as a child and I have to say, it's awful. It's like milk that's been sitting on the counter for a day or so, and sombody decided the way to fix that problem was to heavily dilute it with water. ackackack.
What happened to Paris this time?
93. Southern Fried Girl said:
Wow, talk about being early today. Here it is only 8:45 and I am like way down the line. Goodness. :) Here's to everyone having a better day than I did yesterday.
94. smacks said:
Farts. Does a body good. Got Fart?
95. Closet Metro said:
I hope that he "ripped it" as a great skiier or boarder, not as a guy who shouldn't have had the chili for lunch. Old guys that are good skiiers/boarders are cool. Old guys with bad gas are just funny.
96. cb said:
Organic milk is $5.something a gallon here. We only buy that ever since our teen son started getting painful swellings under his nipples that the pediatrician said could be the result of excess estrogen-like hormones in food and water. Talking with other moms, I found out that some of my kids' girl friends had their first periods at 9! We went to organic dairy and filtered water, pay more, but no boy boobies here.
97. amberlyn said:
so, these skiing photos kind of ook me out a little. my friend just went skiing (well, a few weeks ago) and he hit a tree and broke his neck. they say he'll be okay (after 4 surgeries), but he had a severe injury to his head called DEGLOVING. i'd never heard that before, but *shudder* i bet that's one thing you never want in life: to have your head degloved.
98. Beth said:
Dude, I wanna go. I've never been skiing or anything. Though, I'd probably just wind up in a chalet somewhere drinking hot chocolate!
99. heidillydoo said:
I've been thinking about the ripped it topic very deeply, and I think Dooce must mean he was good. If he tooted on the slopes, it would have just been carried off on the wind, or stuck in his ski pants.
100. shakes said:
How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T!
101. smacks said:
Or....she surely could have had her head down there and heard the explosion.
102. cathi said:
cb - When I taught we had an 8th grader whose mother told us in conference that his chest had been producing some kind of discharge - same reason. Must be mortifying for the kids.
103. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I ripped one last night in the middle of a lasagna dinner that had my four-year-old son literally on the floor laughing. What can I say? It's a gift.
104. smacks said:
Johnny...that made me laugh so hard!
105. jordan said:
The Solitude Village... doesn't that sound like a magical land where the smurfs (or some other small, colored, extremely cute creatures) would live.
And restaurants? They have restaurants? Oh man, I bet those restaurants are great.
106. shakes said:
Johnny, you would appreciate my sister. She likes to rip them everywhere and anywhere. I think she can fart on command.
107. Q said:
re #64:
WTF???? Whoever did that review for employeeinsider.com either a) has never worked for BYU, or b) is an Honor Code Office Nazi.
108. ashik said:
cb - I totally agree with you. But are you fully organic? (i.e. eggs, chicken, other meats, etc - those have hormones also, but are much harder to get and are really expensive)
109. Dazed & Confuzed said:
OMG..you mean Mr. Maggo cut the cheese while skiing? That's so hot. I'm hopin' Bucky's right and he's in the lodge later - ready to give lap-dances. Anyone who's ear folds around their collar's OK in MY book.
110. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
The thought of boy boobs and boy boob discharge is making me slightly nauseous.
As for the farting Walter Mathau, I think it would be quite possible to smell it on the slopes. Especially if Dooce sat behind him on the ski lift. Or next to him. Farts seem to hang in the air longer when it is cold.
111. AndiMAC said:
im too uncoordinated to ski. I'll just sit by the fire looking cute having some Bailey's irish coffee. And DAM 2.50 is very cheap for milk. Here its 3.49 a gallon.
112. rich said:
I pay $1.40 a liter here. That would be $5.32 a gallon. Good thing I don't like milk much.
My baby is going to be getting off formula soon though. Hey, maybe formula is cheaper. In fact, I saw a sale on Sprite, $1.00 for a liter. My baby likes SPRITE
113. that-andrea said:
What is the word on giving soy milk to kids/babies? Yay or nay?
114. William Beem said:
Soy milk? How do you milk a soy bean?
115. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Some babies have to have soy milk, Andrea. My little guy has a stomach-o-steel, but many babies cannot tolerate the lactose. Several friends of mine were forced to give soy milk to their baby. I can't imagine the taste is as good, but it is better than nothing. Or you can do like Rich and give the baby Sprite. lol
116. lawbrat said:
While 6 year old was helping me clean up the kitchen after dinner, I smelled something. I said: I think I smell a skunk. He said: I think you smell my fart.
117. Kieran said:
it is always the old men on skis who tear up the slopes!
118. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
lawbrat - LMFAO!!!!!
119. Matt in London said:
Am currently drinking hot chocolate in honour of all the snow in the pic (and that is still falling in London)...
I clap and smile every time my 10 week old 'lets rip' (it saves on him screaming with stomach pain later on) ...to all the parents....at what age do I start chastising him for it instead????
120. Ern said:
Maybe the old dude is rippin't it on the slopes, but I bet he lets out little old guy walking farts when he turns.
121. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Matt in London -- I'm 39 years old, and my Mom *still* smiles and claps when I let one rip.
You're supposed to chastise them at some point?
122. Andrea in Canada said:
Pimp hat! Angie, I agree...I thought he looked a little sketchie myself.
THE SNOW! It's so beautiful...that's how I want Christmas to be one year. We live on Vancouver Island and we rarely get snow and if we do, it melts as it hits the ground. I love that beautiful fluffy Christmas snow.
123. rich said:
" I think you smell my fart" That is classic. I am going to use that one.
124. Michelle Brady said:
Hey, soy milk isn't that bad. We tried the chocolate-flavored kind. It's marketed under the name "Silk". My 4-year-old wouldn't drink it because she saw it coming out of the carton and was like, "What's soy milk? Isn't that a kind of bean? Beans make me fart!"
Her mind was totally made up. I couldn't even sneak it in, after that. My 1-year-old, on the other hand, loves everything chocolate flavored and kept throwing her sippy cup at me and looking meaningfully at the fridge.
God, I love having kids.
BTW, I put in my two weeks' notice here at work today. I'm so happy.
125. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
WAY TO GO, Michelle! 2 week notices rock!
126. Ern said:
The plain Silk is good too. And once you get used to it, regular cow milk starts to taste kind of like goat's milk.
127. August95 said:
Glad that white stuff is on the mountains here and not on the ground
128. jodi-no-blog (no more!) said:
Michelle!
I am so jealous! I can't wait for the day I can post that I've given my 2 weeks...
Congrats.
Oh, and that's one damn smart 4 year old ya got there!
129. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said:
I love how his ear gently overlaps his collar.
130. Circus Kelli said:
Danielle, have you seen the chocolate Lucky Charms? I haven't tried them... somethin just doesn't seem right about that...
131. Amanda B. said:
Oh my. Matt in London said "honour". That's right...speak proper English to us, speak it! Now, conjugate the verb, "swim". Oh that's right, awww yeah.
132. Matt in London said:
Amanda B - what on earth are you on young lady? And please can I have some? :-)
133. rich said:
Katie BBAW, yeah sprite is good. The elixer of life. mmmmm she loves it. Here she is having some, click my name.
134. Dang Cold.. said:
Speaking of fart blasting old men.
I once entered the elevetor at the basement level of my parents condo complex. I walked in and some old man shuffled out. The door closed behind me and my nose caught a wiff of some of the most rancid ,old man, colon wind ever. The elevator stopped one floor up on the ground floor and 5 people walked in. The door closed and all of them caught a wif and turned to me thinking I sprayed the elevator with nerve gas.
Fucking old bastard!!
135. amy said:
Nice snow! Being a former Mo from Utah, I enjoy reading your site. The snow is the only thing I miss about Zion. Oh yeah, I miss Rio Grande, Arctic Circle and The Pie.
136. Q said:
The Pie!!! Please tell me that's still there...
137. Circus Kelli said:
Matt In London: Our 14 month old was with us as we looked at a house for sale with our realtor. We were standing in the foyer when she asked "What do you think?" about the house. Buddy ripped a long, loud fart that I swear had an exclamation mark on it. He also had a great big old smile on his face. :)
138. Amanda B. said:
Matt in London- I live in Mississippi, USA. I can't tell you how much we miss the English language down here.
Many of us are culture/language whores. I bet you even know what a palindrome is don't you?
139. trisha said:
Is "ripped it" good?
140. LadyBug said:
AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said at 08:46AM, 02.22.2005:
I love how his ear gently overlaps his collar.
*SNICKER*
141. cb said:
ashik--Yeah, we've been buying organic meats, eggs and cheese too. Or not eating it at all and going semi-vegetarian. My kids still get non-organic cheese and meat on pizzas they get with friends, but maybe once a week. The boy boobie thing stopped after a couple of months off regular dairy.
We don't use soy milk because my husband's family all have thyroid problems, and soy makes that worse. I'll have soy miso or some tofu every so often for myself, but not for him or the kids.
Soy also has something like female estrogen in it, so it could also cause boy boobs or early menses. Plastic that is heated also gives off a chemical that our bodies treat as estrogen--like, if you heat leftovers in plastic bowls in the microwave.
Cathi--It was pretty freaky for my son, but once he realized he wasn't a hermaphrodite, he felt a lot better!
PS--I miss Walter Mathau. He had such a perfect old guy voice, even when he was younger. (Never heard him fart, though.)
142. Eclair said:
Insomnia? Count Chocula? It's OK, my husband is goth too - maybe it's a Mormon recovery thing. Or it could be the small molecules in goat milk.
Also, that's my father in-law, so cut it with the fart jokes people.
143. jodi-no-blog (no more!) said:
OMG Amanda...someone else in love with the REAL English language.
"culture/language whore" HA HA HA!
Wonder if my hubby will be turned on my that moniker... uh, probably not.
144. Wendy G. said:
Dooce, just wait until she is out of diapers.
INSTANT pay raise.
I celebrated the day my daughter became potty trained. Woo hoo!
:-) Wendy
145. Gia said:
Look at that fluffy snow! It has been crappy skiing up here this winter. Lucky (ski) bum!
146. Circus Kelli said:
Rich, What a cutie pie!
There is a double standard in our house where my Coca-Cola is concerned. *I* am the *only* one who drinks it. The last thing I need is three kids hepped up on caffiene... and drinking my Coca-Cola!
The one time or two that Punkin had a sip, her eyes lit up a little too brightly. :)
Hubby drinks Diet Coke -- oh, the horror.
147. Circus Kelli said:
Amanda B #138 -- Our 7 year old told me what a palendrome was!
Sheesh.
148. Girl.A said:
pbbbbt-pbbbbbbbbt-pbbbbbsssssssssssst
To rip it like that on the slopes you gotta raise one leg (which gives you leverage) while simultaneously crouching (which builds up pressure) and then push hard, but in short controlled bursts.
149. AndreaBT said:
Let's hear it for double standards with our kids! Mine is anything with sugar, particularly chocolate. My oldest daughter is convinced the cookies are grown-up food (like coffee and wine). Believe me, the tantrums she can throw when she's had just a smidge too much sugar completely justify it.
150. Circus Kelli said:
Gia -- I told my friends I was going to hire a skywriter to celebrate when my first daughter was potty-trained.
Turned out, it was too expensive.
151. Matt in London said:
CK - I have a brother who is 15 years younger than me...one of the first phrases I taught him was 'What's that smell?'...one day, aged approx. 2, he is in a communal changing room with my mother when he shouts at my mum: "Mummy - that ladys bottom smells"...half the women cracked up, the other half went very red, whilst my mum fled the room, dragging him behind her...
Amanda B - of course I do - Abba were a great band....
152. Circus Kelli said:
Dooce, neat picture! Solitude Village does look like it might be a little village with elves or something...
153. Circus Kelli said:
Sorry Wendy, that comment addressed to Gia was meant for you...
154. Michelle Brady said:
Dang Cold-
"Fart blasting old men"
and
"Nerve gas"
!!
*Guffaw*
155. Circus Kelli said:
AndreaBT: Our oldest doesn't like chocolate AT ALL. She just refuses to eat it. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd swear she was switched at birth...
Sweet Pea, however, our middle child, LOVES "kawk-o-wit miwlk."
156. Circus Kelli said:
Dang: That story made me laugh out loud!
157. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Rich your little one is darling!
Here is an embarrassing fart story. My sister's three month old definitely has a gift for passing gas. When Evelyn was just three weeks old, my sister decided to take a jaunt to Barnes & Noble with the baby. As she was pushing the stroller down the cookbook aisle, Evelyn (mind you, she was THREE weeks old) let rip quite possible the loudest fart known to mankind. My sister peeked inside the stroller, totally shocked. People turned their heads and looked up from their books and gave my sister a disgusted look for even insinuating that it was the innocent baby that let one rip. She said Evelyn just sat there with a huge smile on her little face. My sister ran out of Barnes & Noble, and hasn't returned since.
158. AndreaBT said:
ck, mine is the same with sprite (or coke, or anything carbonated). she doesn't like the fizz! I say...so be it!
holding the baby now...whichy is why my typing is suddenly in lowercase and may have some errors...
159. Closet Metro said:
Eclair - you don't expect us to believe that your father-in-law doesn't fart, do you?
Dang - your story reminds me of the "mine laying" I used to do.
160. Circus Kelli said:
Katie B Bored: I was once told by a preschool teacher that my sweet adorable 2 year old baby girl farts like a man.
I never did like that teacher, but told her our little girl was given that gift from her father. :)
161. Ern said:
Is "mine laying" like a dutch oven?
162. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Those are some sort of mind altering brain pods aren't they.
163. Ern said:
A dutch oven is when you fart under the covers and then pull the covers up over your significant other's head.
164. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
CK, I am glad to know that my niece isn't the only one who creates man-farts. Little Patrick is a riot when he lets one rip. He will fart, then smile, and then get this quizzical look on his face. He furrows his brow and says "What's that smell?" He is a shifty little fellow.
165. rich said:
Circus Kelli, Yabba Dabba Do at 13 months old?? Yeah, I think you found the genius in your family. I worry that Raquel (17 months old now) doesn't say much. I mean she says a lot, just nothing we can understand. She can count to 3 in Chinese though. Problem is she just says it all day and won't shut up!
I second your Diet Coke comment. The Horror is right.
166. Kellie said:
Wow, I guess I should feel very fortunate that milk here is almost always $1.77/gallon. I haven't paid more than $2.50 since I lived in Tennessee, where with tax it was nearly $4 a gallon.
I think I shall go give myself a diary-stache in celebration of my good fortune.
167. TulsaOkie said:
Gosh Dooce, what are you going to do with all of that excess cash? Start a college fund? Pay the heating bill? Enjoy while it lasts!!
168. Ern said:
Its great when little kids and animals fart, because we haven't socialized them into shame.
When our dog farts audibly, he looks around behind him like, "what was that?" But he never sits around in the stink--he always leaves!
169. ashik said:
It's like really surprising and stuff that the discussion is focused on fart stories.
I wonder what you call it when one is getting a bj while farting... blump - what?
170. rich said:
Katie BBAW, that story had me laughing out loud.
171. Closet Metro said:
Ern - I worked in grocery store all through college. I'd "lay a mine" next to a stockboy as he's stacking canned goods (he's stuck there for a while) and let the shoppers who pass him by give him the dirty looks.
172. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I like to lay mines in the elevator right before I get off. That is fun.
173. Ern said:
CM--that is hilarious! My father-in-law always farts in stores and then walks to another aisle. But not to frame someone. Just because he had to let it rip!
174. beachgal said:
My one dog does exactly that, Ern. She lets this little pfft fart and then turns around and looks at her butt. We died laughing the first time we saw it. Hubby didn't believe me till he saw her do it.
175. La Pixiatrix said:
Years ago when my nephew who's almost 20 was about 3, I was waiting with him inside the lingerie department at Macy's department store while my sister tried on bras or something.
A woman walked by us, pausing right in front of us while looking at a swimsuit, farted several times, rather loudly. And then walked away.
My nephew, in the midst of manners basic training at that point in his life, shouted out in his loudest voice "Eww - that stinks! Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
When the woman in question only walked more quickly, my nephew decided to give chase, continuing to yell as he ran, "Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
I had reached out for him, but too late. He was at her feet, demanding that she apologize for "stinking up the place", as he put it.
I calmly walked over, and asked him to lower his voice. Then I smiled at the woman, and I was about to apologize, but she cut me off to say, in her snottiest voice "Why don't you teach him some MANNERS?"
I said "Well, he's just learning, he's only 3. What's your excuse?"
176. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My dog farts all the time. Then walks away.
177. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Pixiatrix, that is awesome!!! I just about fell off my chair laughing!!!
178. tIffany said:
Hahahaaaa!
Manners are excellent. Yesterday I was in the bathroom throwing up (wheeee! I'm such an idiot for getting pregnant on purpose). I closed the door so I wouldn't upset my toddler. Within seconds he was knocking on the door shouting "Pardon YOU Mama! Pardon YOUUUUUU for coughing. Mammmma! SAY PARDON ME MAMA."
Thanks kid.
179. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Aww I never got sick when I was prego, well OK I did ONCE the day I found out. HAHA!
Has anyone seen the new Eminem video? A total tearjerker.
180. lawbrat said:
I was horribly sick with both of mine for the entire first trimester. I actually LOST weight. Anything would set it off. Shaving cream will never ever be in my house again!
181. carolina said:
ooh I'm so jealous...I want to board utah... but hey I guess Tahoe isn't so bad =) Glad you're out there tearing it up!
182. G-Dawg said:
Potty talk. It is always funny.
183. hannah said:
All those of you who are whores for the 'proper' English language; come and live in my student house. Two English lit' students and a historian who is incredibly pedantic as to the usage of language. Add in the fact that we all have American textbooks and you get a lot of annoyed screeching and some correcting. We even correct the television when we think it has become too American-ised. Word programs incense us; all that changing of s to z.
184. Ern said:
I remember when my mom was pregnant with my brother and she would throw up, it would terrify me. I thought for sure something terrible was wrong. I used to hide under a chair in the living room while she heaved.
185. greenthumb said:
in honor of the current topics today:
I saw a bumber sticker yesterday:
ASS, GAS or GRASS, no one rides for free.
and embarassing moment of the day:
Got to the parking garage elevator and thought I was safe and ripped one off...just as the door opened...where was the ding? WHERE WAS THE DING???? It didn't DING. OMG...the only thing I did was say 'good morning and get on' and this lady stood next to me and giggled. I BUSTED UP laughing. We were the only ones.
186. Ern said:
greenthumb--luckily at least one person had a sense of humor about it! If we can't laugh at that...
187. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
WAY TO GO Closet Metro and Amanda B for getting your names and pictures posted!!! I really love the Say no to A-1 sign in front of the ass picture. Classic.
188. smacks said:
Greenthumb had a green BUM! Ass ripper.
189. kat said:
That is some nice nice snow. I wish I were in Utah so I could ski.
190. SueFromOhio said:
So CM and Amanda B....does this mean we can ALL send in butt shots to HeatherDooce? I bet she would get some 'interesting' pictures until the Leta picture is posted, hehe.....
191. Southern Fried Girl said:
Bodily functions are just funny. No two ways about it. Gotta love potty humor.
192. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I fear Dooce's onslaught of butt shots will only get more intense.