The dude with the glasses ripped it on the slopes
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. kitten said:
can't believe I care, but first?
2. Nocturnal said:
Hmmm...fresh powder. Second?
3. Rob from London said:
Just because I'm (hopefully) in the top 10. I'm a HUGE fan of Dooce, and read it religiously every day, just like the rest of you. It's snowing here today too!
4. Kelly said:
AMEN to NO MORE high cost of formula, yes, whole milk rocks!
5. jac said:
I like snow. That's because it's summer where I am. I like OTHER people having snow.
6. Sarah said:
Oooooo I'm jealous. We're slugging through humid summer days here in Australia.
7. Sarah M said:
The white stuff? What, what? What is THAT! * has never seen snow *.
I suddenly dislike Australia even more
8. candace said:
wow. top ten i think. didn't even realize that mattered to me.
9. meghan said:
Living in the Gulf of Arabia i just got to say ...."Damn I miss seasons"
10. laura said:
cow juice is bad for you some say.
i hope leta isn't "lactose intolerant"
then you'll have to find out how much goats milk is. goats milk with the smaller molecules.
11. Sarah M said:
..........BUT I LOVE DOOCE!
12. hannah said:
Top 20! Yay!
Also, that's a lot of milk. I can't even imagine buying milk in those quantities. I get mine in pint bottles off the milkman when at home, and small little pint boxes when at uni.
I can totally believe that that dude would rip it, it's always the ones you least expect.
13. diippi said:
whats up with this ? please dont tease me again !
14. David said:
Jeeeez. I thought I was up early but then again I am in Yuuurrrrp.
15. Angie said:
Look at that guys pimp hat! Who wears a pimp hat to go skiing? Pimps I guess.
16. stephen brinkman said:
Hi milk in dallas is free at the homeless kitchen. For me its 1.99 at Kroger and I only buy stuff that's on sale since I'm so fortunate to have apt. Lived in toyota 5 months. Yes some old guys like me 61 years don't need the little blue pill on or off slope! Matter of keeping fit, cannot do anything about clock. But do offer biological clock repair!
17. natalia said:
!!
where's everybody? normaly there are about 200 comments by the time I get here.
Great pics and blog Heather ! :)
18. Michael said:
What would you call that hat he's wearing?
19. David Kornahrens said:
I'm curious, how hard was it snowing there? This weekend I had the great privaledge of joining some people to the Appaclachain* Mnts. The snow was not falling, and the slopes were still fun. I fell three times.
20. Becky said:
I'm so confused -- What time is it, anyway? Did the Armstrongs have fun on the slopes?
21. David said:
Very good of you to give your international audience a chance to get in the top 50! Presumably though, this means that you're up in the middle of the night with a sleepless child ... sorry about that!
22. Jack said:
Man I wish we had snow here in Australia.
23. Aussie said:
The dude with the glasses looks like the guy from Love Actually :O
24. Jason said:
When you say he ripped it, do you mean that he ripped his pants, ripped up his body in a horrific wipe out, or that for an old man in geeky glasses he was surprisingly adept at slicing up the powder? Sorry, just not clear enough for me. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease...
25. Heatheranne said:
Oh, it's too early for me. When I read the title of the picture, my first thought was "Ha ha, he farted!"
26. Alison said:
So when do we get to see a picture of you snowboarding?
27. Becky said:
Please forgive my lapse in reading comprehension. I've now re-read your post about snowboarding, and read Jon's as well. GLAD you had fun! :>D
28. Lydia said:
Hi Dooce!
I am waving at you from australia- where it is really really hot
29. SueFromOhio said:
#18 Michael: Looks like a Greek Fisherman's Hat to me....http://www.greekshops.com/images/Hats/black_cotton.jpg...of course, they make them in wool, also..
I'm not so sure I would want to ski NOW while I'm semi-young (I'm a third of the way to being dead, ya know) let alone, ski when the threat of breaking a hip would be soooo great :) No offense to any old-sters out there in Doocedom
30. shauny said:
g'day heather! it's snowing here in edinburgh too!
the dude in the hat is cool. kinda looks like the hat john lennon wore in the Help! movie. now there's some good skiing.
31. edith said:
come to australia!! it's beautiful
32. rick said:
Is that Buddy Hackett?
33. Alison said:
That guy is so going to score in the bar later, isn't he, 'specially if he continues wearing that hat. And the glasses.
34. Kiki said:
Great Picture! Love winter, we have a lot of snow, here in Finland also :)))
Dooce, I don't know do you read this, but suddenly
I feel like sharing my thoughts with you and your fans.
I started to read your blog only a few months ago,
and I must admit I got totally hooked.
You are the best thing that happened to the Internet,
and my sometimes boring work days in my new job.
(Which I am greatful of,
comparing to the 12 hours/days I used to have)
There is so many things I love written by you,
don't want to list them all. Maybe the best is your
monthly newsletter to Dear Leta,
which make me want to have a baby :)
ME.WANT.BABY! This is huge!
You inspire a lot of us, with your ALL CAPS.
I even played with the thought of starting my own blog,
but I guess I could not resist posting semi-mean, but FUNNY things
about my co-workers, and about the crazy family of my husband.
But because you warned us what will happen, I won't do it.
The other day I run out of your recent daily updates,
I started reading your archives, and I realised
that you might enjoy this website:
http://cartoons.sev.com.au/Terrible-Twos/
Terrible Twos is a comic strip by Australian
cartoonist John Cook, and follows the adventures
of his daughter Gaby, a spirited toddler
(just like your beautiful Leta)
who strives to make her mark in the world.
I am posting this link because the picture where Leta
"This is what happens when you have to go pee,
and the baby insists upon joining you"
totally reminds me of Gabi.
Check it, you'll love it...
-Kiki
"who is also constipated, and after reading your blog,
is proud of it"
35. saralynnmo said:
Why are you all up so early?
36. koof said:
it's only 7 here, but damn dooce is up EARLY
37. Jason said:
For some of us, this isn't up early. In fact when Dooce is just getting up, alot of us are done with our work day. Google "Christopher Columbus" if you get a chance, and "Time Zones"...you'd be amazed what you can learn!
38. Scott said:
That guy looks like he belongs on an Alaskan fishing boat. Maybe he knows the Gordon's Fisherman? He definitely has good taste coming through with the old man hat and glasses combo. Screw goggles and hand me my Blue Blockers!
These photos have me cursing the South again. There is no good skiing around us in any direction for at least six to seven hours drive. Canada, take me away!
39. Jason said:
In light of the extensive Paris Hilton coverage that took place on Jon's site, I was hoping to hear something from the Dooce on the latest mess. Thoughts?
40. spoonleg said:
jesus effing christ this is the earliest daily photo EVER.
41. Bill Wolfe said:
I never really noticed, but it says the first comment was made a 3 o'clock in the morning... do you usually post in the middle of the night? I thought I was the only one awake all of on a monday night/tuesday morning watching the hours drift by in the soft light of my laptop screen
42. nudging30 said:
Dooce inspired me to start blogging again too! I've seen a lot of blogs that have started in the last few months, I think of it as the Dooce-effect. I can't quite remember how I came across the site, but I've been a loyal reader ever since last summer.
43. Kyrrah said:
SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
44. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Looks like someone had a late night in Utah. Sneaky, lady, very sneaky!
The dude in glasses? He'll be naked in the lodge later for your dining and table dancing pleasure.
45. Paige said:
That is the kind of snow I expected when moving to Germany from Texas. This damned valley cursed my snowfall.
46. deLish said:
Snow is beautiful but no fun to deal with. I definitely don't miss Michigan winters...
47. spoonleg said:
He looks like he totally ripped it in his adult diapers.
48. squish said:
Interestin' hat.
49. squish said:
Makes me want to start singing:
"Babe, I got you babe,
I got you babe..."
50. romy said:
squish - "i got yew, babe."
imitating sonny you know.
sorry. grisly.
nice pic.
51. CanadianAmy said:
I had no idea that Randy Newman could 'rip it on the slopes'.
Neat.
52. hannah said:
#23; Aussie: Which guy in Love, Actually?
And as for the early commenting, I left mine at about ten to eleven in the morning. So not so early, although with the vodkaness of last night, quite early. I like this whole time zone thing meaning I can leave a low numbered comment.
53. Kendra said:
WOW, almost top 50! I think this IS the earliest daily photo ever.
Love the snow. Moved to Thunder Bay from Southern Ontario last Sept and snow snow snow. I love it!!
54. TexaRican said:
WTF? Usually around this time I am waiting for the new Dooce o' the day! Jeez, were y'all all up doing the Ebay treasure hunt or something? :)
55. rich said:
"ripped it on the slopes"
uh... that sounds way Californian to me.
56. Mamaramma said:
Mmmmm... I want to go to Solitude Village and Restaurants.
57. Abbey said:
ooo can't believe I am in before these posts hit 100!
Dooce - read religiously (although not very biblical myself) every day. You are a funny, talented, inspirational lady. Thanks for always sharing...
A girl from Belfast City...probably THE ONLY ONE (yes, CAPS LOCK ROCKS!)
58. desiree said:
so beautiful!
59. bushra said:
the dude with the glasses looks like an extra from Columbo.
60. nika said:
that looks like so much fun, I'd even risk my neck, forgetting how much skiing/snowboarding scares me.
61. MyChelle said:
So early today!
My 37 year old significant other DRINKS a GALLON of milk every 3 or 4 days. Seriously...YUCK. Whole milk, too - I got a pretty please baby buy me the real stuff when I tried to slide down to 2%.
And that dude with the glasses looks straight outta 1963. I have a pic of my dad wearing just that hat & those specs...
62. beachgal said:
I love looking at pictures of snow, especially when I don't have to actually deal WITH the snow.
Hope Leta didn't keep you up all nite and that's why this was so early.
63. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Look at that snow! One of the rare times I went skiing, I was being my usual chatty self, and so I chirped to the man next to me on the lift, "Ski much?" He nodded. My friend was collapsing with laughter. He was National Ski Patrol. Durrrrrrrr.
64. boadicea said:
hey dooce,
love your site! If you ever get tired of being famous and a fabulous stay-at-home mom you could always go work for BYU. According to http://www.employeeinsider.com they are in the top 5 places to work. Ha!
65. Melanie S. said:
You're out there skiing and having fun, meanwhile, GEORGE and all of us Texans are stuck here in 80 degrees of poo...until today. It will be 70, then tomorrow, 50!
My head is going to explode!
66. Mamaramma said:
The dude with the glasses looks like Stephen Merchant's (from "The Office") dad who makes cameos as a janitor on the show. Maybe you had a very very minor celebrity run in!
67. Cheryl said:
HHAHAHAH When I read "ripped it" I immediately thought of farting... and now I can't stop laughing!
68. the niffer said:
I love the international flavour we're getting this morning thanks to the 'early' posting. Makes the world feel so small.
69. meREDith said:
East Caosters that check DOOCE each morning have a chance to get in before 100 comments now too!!!
Rain+fog-no snow= blah!!!
70. honey bunny said:
heather,
did you know that one of the ways you can tell if your kid/friend/neighbor/ favorite blogger is a GOTH? yep...if she eats count chocula cereal! seriously. the religious right has passed out pamphlets stating it so! also, people who complain of boredom, insist on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, and worst of all, watch cable television or any other corrupted media sources ARE GOTH!
RELIGIOUS PAMPHLETS DO NOT LIE!
it's ok. i'm "goth" too ;)
71. Scott said:
If you are goth for eating Count Chocula, what exactly are you if you eat Frankenberry or Boo Berry?
72. LadyBug said:
Cool pic.
But I sincerely hope you were not up with a sick and/or cranky baby at 3:00 AM.
73. LadyBug said:
Oh, and if you WERE up with a sick/cranky baby at 3:00 AM, you totally should've called me, 'cause I was too.
74. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I dunno, Scott. I'm still waiting for everyone else to admit they had childhood fantasies of Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo-Berry in a naked rasslin' match.
Come clean, people. You'll feel so much better.
75. Danielle said:
Of course, he ripped it on the slopes.
Dontcha know? All the cool kids wear glasses.
8-)
76. Danielle said:
Mmmmm.... Lucky Charms. I loved those little marshmallows.
and no, for those of you who 'know' my chocolate addiction, I didn't eat chocolate cereal.
*whispers*
(I just drank hot chocolate everyday)
77. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Woah, it must have been one sleepless night for Dooce. The first post was at 3:17! When I read the title for the photo, I thought it meant that that old guy ripped a huge fart out on the slopes. I was trying to figure out how Dooce heard him let one rip. I guess I am not up with the Cali/Utah cool-speak.
Bucky, I personally had a thing for Cap'n Crunch.
78. smacks said:
He sure looks like he could rip it. As in Faaaaarrrrrt!
79. Laurie said:
I have somehow developed a milk allergy in the past couple of months, yet I'm still envious of gallons of milk for 2.50.
80. Michelle Brady said:
Wow, top 100! AND I'm late today? What did everybody else say? I want to be part of the conversation!
81. Evil Stepmother said:
Hey, no fair on the super-early! Not that I'm ever first, but at least today I can blame it on Dooce.
So Eugene Levy-looking guy really showed off, huh? Who'da thunk it?
82. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I don't know about Eugene Levy. I think he resembles the late Walter Mathau. I bet those Grumpy Old Men really knew how to rip it.
83. squish said:
I was looking at Jon's photos at Blurbomat.
I like them, but Jon, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel!
Wasn't that a Doors song?
84. smacks said:
Old man gas. Delish.
85. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
When you say "ripped it," do you mean he was a good skier or that he unleashed a big fart?
86. RazDreams said:
there's a website where you can submit short-story entries for a random photo. my submission for this photo would be that jacques (the glasses guy) is a spy following red-and-blue couple, trying to catch them in a secret "snow" (drug) deal that's about to go down. red-and-blue couple end up stabbing jacques on the slopes with their ski pools, and the heavy storm buries his body until spring. bring it!
87. heidillydoo said:
Hey everyone! Dooce, when you say he ripped it on the slopes, you mean he was good, right? Not that he was farting? Just after reading comment #84, I wasn't too sure anymore.
88. Gooooder said:
those glasses are awesome.
you should make bearded armstrong wear cop glasses on the slopes, he'd blind people with the snow reflection on them!
89. Shmee said:
Speaking of farts, my DH let one rip this morning. It was so load that I heard it even though I was downstairs, with two sets of doors closed between myself and the stairs.
90. dv said:
So funny.
A while ago the comments were:
"first!"
Then it turned out they were 8th or something
People are more carefull these days...
'First?'
By the way, are black red and blue the only colors allowed when skying?
91. heidillydoo said:
gaseous anal explosion
92. Amanda B. said:
Wow. That dude is badass. I could never pull off that hat/shades combo.
I had to drink goat's milk as a child and I have to say, it's awful. It's like milk that's been sitting on the counter for a day or so, and sombody decided the way to fix that problem was to heavily dilute it with water. ackackack.
What happened to Paris this time?
93. Southern Fried Girl said:
Wow, talk about being early today. Here it is only 8:45 and I am like way down the line. Goodness. :) Here's to everyone having a better day than I did yesterday.
94. smacks said:
Farts. Does a body good. Got Fart?
95. Closet Metro said:
I hope that he "ripped it" as a great skiier or boarder, not as a guy who shouldn't have had the chili for lunch. Old guys that are good skiiers/boarders are cool. Old guys with bad gas are just funny.
96. cb said:
Organic milk is $5.something a gallon here. We only buy that ever since our teen son started getting painful swellings under his nipples that the pediatrician said could be the result of excess estrogen-like hormones in food and water. Talking with other moms, I found out that some of my kids' girl friends had their first periods at 9! We went to organic dairy and filtered water, pay more, but no boy boobies here.
97. amberlyn said:
so, these skiing photos kind of ook me out a little. my friend just went skiing (well, a few weeks ago) and he hit a tree and broke his neck. they say he'll be okay (after 4 surgeries), but he had a severe injury to his head called DEGLOVING. i'd never heard that before, but *shudder* i bet that's one thing you never want in life: to have your head degloved.
98. Beth said:
Dude, I wanna go. I've never been skiing or anything. Though, I'd probably just wind up in a chalet somewhere drinking hot chocolate!
99. heidillydoo said:
I've been thinking about the ripped it topic very deeply, and I think Dooce must mean he was good. If he tooted on the slopes, it would have just been carried off on the wind, or stuck in his ski pants.
100. shakes said:
How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T!
101. smacks said:
Or....she surely could have had her head down there and heard the explosion.
102. cathi said:
cb - When I taught we had an 8th grader whose mother told us in conference that his chest had been producing some kind of discharge - same reason. Must be mortifying for the kids.
103. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I ripped one last night in the middle of a lasagna dinner that had my four-year-old son literally on the floor laughing. What can I say? It's a gift.
104. smacks said:
Johnny...that made me laugh so hard!
105. jordan said:
The Solitude Village... doesn't that sound like a magical land where the smurfs (or some other small, colored, extremely cute creatures) would live.
And restaurants? They have restaurants? Oh man, I bet those restaurants are great.
106. shakes said:
Johnny, you would appreciate my sister. She likes to rip them everywhere and anywhere. I think she can fart on command.
107. Q said:
re #64:
WTF???? Whoever did that review for employeeinsider.com either a) has never worked for BYU, or b) is an Honor Code Office Nazi.
108. ashik said:
cb - I totally agree with you. But are you fully organic? (i.e. eggs, chicken, other meats, etc - those have hormones also, but are much harder to get and are really expensive)
109. Dazed & Confuzed said:
OMG..you mean Mr. Maggo cut the cheese while skiing? That's so hot. I'm hopin' Bucky's right and he's in the lodge later - ready to give lap-dances. Anyone who's ear folds around their collar's OK in MY book.
110. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
The thought of boy boobs and boy boob discharge is making me slightly nauseous.
As for the farting Walter Mathau, I think it would be quite possible to smell it on the slopes. Especially if Dooce sat behind him on the ski lift. Or next to him. Farts seem to hang in the air longer when it is cold.
111. AndiMAC said:
im too uncoordinated to ski. I'll just sit by the fire looking cute having some Bailey's irish coffee. And DAM 2.50 is very cheap for milk. Here its 3.49 a gallon.
112. rich said:
I pay $1.40 a liter here. That would be $5.32 a gallon. Good thing I don't like milk much.
My baby is going to be getting off formula soon though. Hey, maybe formula is cheaper. In fact, I saw a sale on Sprite, $1.00 for a liter. My baby likes SPRITE
113. that-andrea said:
What is the word on giving soy milk to kids/babies? Yay or nay?
114. William Beem said:
Soy milk? How do you milk a soy bean?
115. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Some babies have to have soy milk, Andrea. My little guy has a stomach-o-steel, but many babies cannot tolerate the lactose. Several friends of mine were forced to give soy milk to their baby. I can't imagine the taste is as good, but it is better than nothing. Or you can do like Rich and give the baby Sprite. lol
116. lawbrat said:
While 6 year old was helping me clean up the kitchen after dinner, I smelled something. I said: I think I smell a skunk. He said: I think you smell my fart.
117. Kieran said:
it is always the old men on skis who tear up the slopes!
118. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
lawbrat - LMFAO!!!!!
119. Matt in London said:
Am currently drinking hot chocolate in honour of all the snow in the pic (and that is still falling in London)...
I clap and smile every time my 10 week old 'lets rip' (it saves on him screaming with stomach pain later on) ...to all the parents....at what age do I start chastising him for it instead????
120. Ern said:
Maybe the old dude is rippin't it on the slopes, but I bet he lets out little old guy walking farts when he turns.
121. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Matt in London -- I'm 39 years old, and my Mom *still* smiles and claps when I let one rip.
You're supposed to chastise them at some point?
122. Andrea in Canada said:
Pimp hat! Angie, I agree...I thought he looked a little sketchie myself.
THE SNOW! It's so beautiful...that's how I want Christmas to be one year. We live on Vancouver Island and we rarely get snow and if we do, it melts as it hits the ground. I love that beautiful fluffy Christmas snow.
123. rich said:
" I think you smell my fart" That is classic. I am going to use that one.
124. Michelle Brady said:
Hey, soy milk isn't that bad. We tried the chocolate-flavored kind. It's marketed under the name "Silk". My 4-year-old wouldn't drink it because she saw it coming out of the carton and was like, "What's soy milk? Isn't that a kind of bean? Beans make me fart!"
Her mind was totally made up. I couldn't even sneak it in, after that. My 1-year-old, on the other hand, loves everything chocolate flavored and kept throwing her sippy cup at me and looking meaningfully at the fridge.
God, I love having kids.
BTW, I put in my two weeks' notice here at work today. I'm so happy.
125. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
WAY TO GO, Michelle! 2 week notices rock!
126. Ern said:
The plain Silk is good too. And once you get used to it, regular cow milk starts to taste kind of like goat's milk.
127. August95 said:
Glad that white stuff is on the mountains here and not on the ground
128. jodi-no-blog (no more!) said:
Michelle!
I am so jealous! I can't wait for the day I can post that I've given my 2 weeks...
Congrats.
Oh, and that's one damn smart 4 year old ya got there!
129. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said:
I love how his ear gently overlaps his collar.
130. Circus Kelli said:
Danielle, have you seen the chocolate Lucky Charms? I haven't tried them... somethin just doesn't seem right about that...
131. Amanda B. said:
Oh my. Matt in London said "honour". That's right...speak proper English to us, speak it! Now, conjugate the verb, "swim". Oh that's right, awww yeah.
132. Matt in London said:
Amanda B - what on earth are you on young lady? And please can I have some? :-)
133. rich said:
Katie BBAW, yeah sprite is good. The elixer of life. mmmmm she loves it. Here she is having some, click my name.
134. Dang Cold.. said:
Speaking of fart blasting old men.
I once entered the elevetor at the basement level of my parents condo complex. I walked in and some old man shuffled out. The door closed behind me and my nose caught a wiff of some of the most rancid ,old man, colon wind ever. The elevator stopped one floor up on the ground floor and 5 people walked in. The door closed and all of them caught a wif and turned to me thinking I sprayed the elevator with nerve gas.
Fucking old bastard!!
135. amy said:
Nice snow! Being a former Mo from Utah, I enjoy reading your site. The snow is the only thing I miss about Zion. Oh yeah, I miss Rio Grande, Arctic Circle and The Pie.
136. Q said:
The Pie!!! Please tell me that's still there...
137. Circus Kelli said:
Matt In London: Our 14 month old was with us as we looked at a house for sale with our realtor. We were standing in the foyer when she asked "What do you think?" about the house. Buddy ripped a long, loud fart that I swear had an exclamation mark on it. He also had a great big old smile on his face. :)
138. Amanda B. said:
Matt in London- I live in Mississippi, USA. I can't tell you how much we miss the English language down here.
Many of us are culture/language whores. I bet you even know what a palindrome is don't you?
139. trisha said:
Is "ripped it" good?
140. LadyBug said:
AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said at 08:46AM, 02.22.2005:
I love how his ear gently overlaps his collar.
*SNICKER*
141. cb said:
ashik--Yeah, we've been buying organic meats, eggs and cheese too. Or not eating it at all and going semi-vegetarian. My kids still get non-organic cheese and meat on pizzas they get with friends, but maybe once a week. The boy boobie thing stopped after a couple of months off regular dairy.
We don't use soy milk because my husband's family all have thyroid problems, and soy makes that worse. I'll have soy miso or some tofu every so often for myself, but not for him or the kids.
Soy also has something like female estrogen in it, so it could also cause boy boobs or early menses. Plastic that is heated also gives off a chemical that our bodies treat as estrogen--like, if you heat leftovers in plastic bowls in the microwave.
Cathi--It was pretty freaky for my son, but once he realized he wasn't a hermaphrodite, he felt a lot better!
PS--I miss Walter Mathau. He had such a perfect old guy voice, even when he was younger. (Never heard him fart, though.)
142. Eclair said:
Insomnia? Count Chocula? It's OK, my husband is goth too - maybe it's a Mormon recovery thing. Or it could be the small molecules in goat milk.
Also, that's my father in-law, so cut it with the fart jokes people.
143. jodi-no-blog (no more!) said:
OMG Amanda...someone else in love with the REAL English language.
"culture/language whore" HA HA HA!
Wonder if my hubby will be turned on my that moniker... uh, probably not.
144. Wendy G. said:
Dooce, just wait until she is out of diapers.
INSTANT pay raise.
I celebrated the day my daughter became potty trained. Woo hoo!
:-) Wendy
145. Gia said:
Look at that fluffy snow! It has been crappy skiing up here this winter. Lucky (ski) bum!
146. Circus Kelli said:
Rich, What a cutie pie!
There is a double standard in our house where my Coca-Cola is concerned. *I* am the *only* one who drinks it. The last thing I need is three kids hepped up on caffiene... and drinking my Coca-Cola!
The one time or two that Punkin had a sip, her eyes lit up a little too brightly. :)
Hubby drinks Diet Coke -- oh, the horror.
147. Circus Kelli said:
Amanda B #138 -- Our 7 year old told me what a palendrome was!
Sheesh.
148. Girl.A said:
pbbbbt-pbbbbbbbbt-pbbbbbsssssssssssst
To rip it like that on the slopes you gotta raise one leg (which gives you leverage) while simultaneously crouching (which builds up pressure) and then push hard, but in short controlled bursts.
149. AndreaBT said:
Let's hear it for double standards with our kids! Mine is anything with sugar, particularly chocolate. My oldest daughter is convinced the cookies are grown-up food (like coffee and wine). Believe me, the tantrums she can throw when she's had just a smidge too much sugar completely justify it.
150. Circus Kelli said:
Gia -- I told my friends I was going to hire a skywriter to celebrate when my first daughter was potty-trained.
Turned out, it was too expensive.
151. Matt in London said:
CK - I have a brother who is 15 years younger than me...one of the first phrases I taught him was 'What's that smell?'...one day, aged approx. 2, he is in a communal changing room with my mother when he shouts at my mum: "Mummy - that ladys bottom smells"...half the women cracked up, the other half went very red, whilst my mum fled the room, dragging him behind her...
Amanda B - of course I do - Abba were a great band....
152. Circus Kelli said:
Dooce, neat picture! Solitude Village does look like it might be a little village with elves or something...
153. Circus Kelli said:
Sorry Wendy, that comment addressed to Gia was meant for you...
154. Michelle Brady said:
Dang Cold-
"Fart blasting old men"
and
"Nerve gas"
!!
*Guffaw*
155. Circus Kelli said:
AndreaBT: Our oldest doesn't like chocolate AT ALL. She just refuses to eat it. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd swear she was switched at birth...
Sweet Pea, however, our middle child, LOVES "kawk-o-wit miwlk."
156. Circus Kelli said:
Dang: That story made me laugh out loud!
157. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Rich your little one is darling!
Here is an embarrassing fart story. My sister's three month old definitely has a gift for passing gas. When Evelyn was just three weeks old, my sister decided to take a jaunt to Barnes & Noble with the baby. As she was pushing the stroller down the cookbook aisle, Evelyn (mind you, she was THREE weeks old) let rip quite possible the loudest fart known to mankind. My sister peeked inside the stroller, totally shocked. People turned their heads and looked up from their books and gave my sister a disgusted look for even insinuating that it was the innocent baby that let one rip. She said Evelyn just sat there with a huge smile on her little face. My sister ran out of Barnes & Noble, and hasn't returned since.
158. AndreaBT said:
ck, mine is the same with sprite (or coke, or anything carbonated). she doesn't like the fizz! I say...so be it!
holding the baby now...whichy is why my typing is suddenly in lowercase and may have some errors...
159. Closet Metro said:
Eclair - you don't expect us to believe that your father-in-law doesn't fart, do you?
Dang - your story reminds me of the "mine laying" I used to do.
160. Circus Kelli said:
Katie B Bored: I was once told by a preschool teacher that my sweet adorable 2 year old baby girl farts like a man.
I never did like that teacher, but told her our little girl was given that gift from her father. :)
161. Ern said:
Is "mine laying" like a dutch oven?
162. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Those are some sort of mind altering brain pods aren't they.
163. Ern said:
A dutch oven is when you fart under the covers and then pull the covers up over your significant other's head.
164. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
CK, I am glad to know that my niece isn't the only one who creates man-farts. Little Patrick is a riot when he lets one rip. He will fart, then smile, and then get this quizzical look on his face. He furrows his brow and says "What's that smell?" He is a shifty little fellow.
165. rich said:
Circus Kelli, Yabba Dabba Do at 13 months old?? Yeah, I think you found the genius in your family. I worry that Raquel (17 months old now) doesn't say much. I mean she says a lot, just nothing we can understand. She can count to 3 in Chinese though. Problem is she just says it all day and won't shut up!
I second your Diet Coke comment. The Horror is right.
166. Kellie said:
Wow, I guess I should feel very fortunate that milk here is almost always $1.77/gallon. I haven't paid more than $2.50 since I lived in Tennessee, where with tax it was nearly $4 a gallon.
I think I shall go give myself a diary-stache in celebration of my good fortune.
167. TulsaOkie said:
Gosh Dooce, what are you going to do with all of that excess cash? Start a college fund? Pay the heating bill? Enjoy while it lasts!!
168. Ern said:
Its great when little kids and animals fart, because we haven't socialized them into shame.
When our dog farts audibly, he looks around behind him like, "what was that?" But he never sits around in the stink--he always leaves!
169. ashik said:
It's like really surprising and stuff that the discussion is focused on fart stories.
I wonder what you call it when one is getting a bj while farting... blump - what?
170. rich said:
Katie BBAW, that story had me laughing out loud.
171. Closet Metro said:
Ern - I worked in grocery store all through college. I'd "lay a mine" next to a stockboy as he's stacking canned goods (he's stuck there for a while) and let the shoppers who pass him by give him the dirty looks.
172. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I like to lay mines in the elevator right before I get off. That is fun.
173. Ern said:
CM--that is hilarious! My father-in-law always farts in stores and then walks to another aisle. But not to frame someone. Just because he had to let it rip!
174. beachgal said:
My one dog does exactly that, Ern. She lets this little pfft fart and then turns around and looks at her butt. We died laughing the first time we saw it. Hubby didn't believe me till he saw her do it.
175. La Pixiatrix said:
Years ago when my nephew who's almost 20 was about 3, I was waiting with him inside the lingerie department at Macy's department store while my sister tried on bras or something.
A woman walked by us, pausing right in front of us while looking at a swimsuit, farted several times, rather loudly. And then walked away.
My nephew, in the midst of manners basic training at that point in his life, shouted out in his loudest voice "Eww - that stinks! Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
When the woman in question only walked more quickly, my nephew decided to give chase, continuing to yell as he ran, "Hey, you FARTED! SAY EXCUSE ME!"
I had reached out for him, but too late. He was at her feet, demanding that she apologize for "stinking up the place", as he put it.
I calmly walked over, and asked him to lower his voice. Then I smiled at the woman, and I was about to apologize, but she cut me off to say, in her snottiest voice "Why don't you teach him some MANNERS?"
I said "Well, he's just learning, he's only 3. What's your excuse?"
176. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My dog farts all the time. Then walks away.
177. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
Pixiatrix, that is awesome!!! I just about fell off my chair laughing!!!
178. tIffany said:
Hahahaaaa!
Manners are excellent. Yesterday I was in the bathroom throwing up (wheeee! I'm such an idiot for getting pregnant on purpose). I closed the door so I wouldn't upset my toddler. Within seconds he was knocking on the door shouting "Pardon YOU Mama! Pardon YOUUUUUU for coughing. Mammmma! SAY PARDON ME MAMA."
Thanks kid.
179. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Aww I never got sick when I was prego, well OK I did ONCE the day I found out. HAHA!
Has anyone seen the new Eminem video? A total tearjerker.
180. lawbrat said:
I was horribly sick with both of mine for the entire first trimester. I actually LOST weight. Anything would set it off. Shaving cream will never ever be in my house again!
181. carolina said:
ooh I'm so jealous...I want to board utah... but hey I guess Tahoe isn't so bad =) Glad you're out there tearing it up!
182. G-Dawg said:
Potty talk. It is always funny.
183. hannah said:
All those of you who are whores for the 'proper' English language; come and live in my student house. Two English lit' students and a historian who is incredibly pedantic as to the usage of language. Add in the fact that we all have American textbooks and you get a lot of annoyed screeching and some correcting. We even correct the television when we think it has become too American-ised. Word programs incense us; all that changing of s to z.
184. Ern said:
I remember when my mom was pregnant with my brother and she would throw up, it would terrify me. I thought for sure something terrible was wrong. I used to hide under a chair in the living room while she heaved.
185. greenthumb said:
in honor of the current topics today:
I saw a bumber sticker yesterday:
ASS, GAS or GRASS, no one rides for free.
and embarassing moment of the day:
Got to the parking garage elevator and thought I was safe and ripped one off...just as the door opened...where was the ding? WHERE WAS THE DING???? It didn't DING. OMG...the only thing I did was say 'good morning and get on' and this lady stood next to me and giggled. I BUSTED UP laughing. We were the only ones.
186. Ern said:
greenthumb--luckily at least one person had a sense of humor about it! If we can't laugh at that...
187. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
WAY TO GO Closet Metro and Amanda B for getting your names and pictures posted!!! I really love the Say no to A-1 sign in front of the ass picture. Classic.
188. smacks said:
Greenthumb had a green BUM! Ass ripper.
189. kat said:
That is some nice nice snow. I wish I were in Utah so I could ski.
190. SueFromOhio said:
So CM and Amanda B....does this mean we can ALL send in butt shots to HeatherDooce? I bet she would get some 'interesting' pictures until the Leta picture is posted, hehe.....
191. Southern Fried Girl said:
Bodily functions are just funny. No two ways about it. Gotta love potty humor.
192. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I fear Dooce's onslaught of butt shots will only get more intense.
193. Ms. Belle said:
Because of Dooce's youthful misadventures - I have now changed to Heinz 57. I can never again look at a bottle of A1 the same way. Yuk. General suggestion - when looking for something to shove up one's butt...choose a more aerodynamic design than the A1 bottle.
194. Michelle Brady said:
I hardly threw up at all with my first daughter, but my second... wow. Dry heaves every morning for SIX MONTHS. And not just dry heaves, but that bitter yellow mucus that comes out of your empty stomach, which would only make me heave more. It was awful.
That was the price I paid for gorgeous skin, luxuriant hair that grew about two inches in a week (not really, but it sure seemed like it), and so much energy I couldn't sit still.
Holding all that vomit inside during my first pregnancy meant, of course, that I was a total greaseball for 9 months. 15-year-old boys saw my acne and gave thanks, because there but for the grace of god went they.
Thank heavens for modern medical technology and tubal ligations.
And that's your daily dose of TMI, but really, what in this thread isn't?
195. Matt in London said:
texting on mobile phones is a big thing here in the UK - it's just that the written word has changed as a result and there is a whole new language emerging, where you have words like:
gr8
2mrw
l8er
CU l8er
I h8 it!
196. honestyrain said:
ass photos in exchange for butterfly kisses. brilliant or insane? who am i to say....
if it gets you what you want, i say do it.
197. Closet Metro said:
Dooce, thank you for honoring my request. The fact that Leta is in Butterfly Kisses Training good enough for me to call a truce.
(The evil that I fear Leta will do with her eyelashes as she grows older, is break many young hearts.)
198. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I feel you on that one, Matt. Text messaging sucks. A friend text messaged me the other night. It read "R U awake, KT?" I wrote back "Now I am bitch. Good night!"
199. kc said:
Heather, this is neither a snark nor a troll, but a concerned reader. Please don't make your daughter start performing for the entertainment of your site's readers. Fine people as they might be, Leta deserves more respect than to be treated like a trained monkey.
200. Sam said:
Dooce,
First time commenting, long time lurking, thanks for the laugh today, i really needed it! Amanda B., that picture is hilarious.
201. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
KC, judging by the fact that you say you are neither a snark nor a troll, I get the strong feeling that you are said snark/troll. Screw off - if Heather wants to let Leta perform for our entertainment, it's her business. That's what we have kids for!
202. LadyBug said:
Heaven help me, when I first saw Jack's butt picture, I thought it was a very tattooed man (umm, with a small tail?) bending over.
203. AndreaBT said:
The only time I ever threw up during any of my pregnancies was when I stupidly got on the Ferris wheel with my 4 yr old daughter last summer. DUH! And I wondered why the sign said pregnant women should not ride. I was like, what, the wheel goes so fast it'll hurt the baby?
Hah! That, people, is an embarrassing moment.
204. kc said:
Katie, my comment was sincere; I was just giving my honest and concerned opinion. Sorry to offend you and any other readers.
205. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I think anyone that is "concerned" so much about Leta's welfare needs to keep their mouth shut and quit hiding behind annoying pseudonyms. No offense taken, Ass-troll.
206. Girl.A said:
Holy Cow the way people take things literally.
kc, I challenge you (friendly challenge) to write a funny intro for some pictures your fans sent of their butts while begging for photos of your kid.
If you ever see Leta butterfly-kissing someone in a picture, don't be so sure she wouldn't have already been in monkey training for that. I mean, isn't every kid in monkey training for butterfly kisses??? Dance, monkey! Dance!
(btw, I also don't really give myself enemas with tabasco sauce, that was just a little joke. Sorry if anyone took me seriously on that.)
207. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Lmao @ AmandaB and CM. Although I am kinda dissapointed Girl.A wasn't in on the asstivities.
208. Closet Metro said:
KC - I don't want Leta to perform tricks like a trained monkey. I'm a daddy that enjoys butterfly kisses from his little girl, and thought that Jon and Heather would too. Have a sense of humor.
209. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
You are awesome, Girl A. I know my little guy is definitely a trained monkey. He knows how to fart, do the chicken dance, and say his ABC's on command.
210. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Personally I wanna see her flip people the bird.
211. RazDreams said:
i don't think kc was being disrespectful...he/she was just offering his/her opinion (commenting on something on this site in a non-threatening way). i'm guessing it was just constructive criticism, not meant to hurt anyone.
212. warcrygirl said:
I had no idea how expensive formula until I began babysitting as I breastfed both of my boys (and since the oldest was allergic to dairy it was a good thing I did). I think it's outrageous to charge that much for something a mother has no choice but to buy. Yay for turning one and whole milk!
Oh, and can anyone join the Buttapalooza? Cuz I have a wide angle lens...
213. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Doin' tha butt naaa nuh naannaaa sexy sexy OW
214. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
I think we are all just getting slightly peeved at the usage of words like "I am not a troll" and "just a concerned reader" on the message boards lately. I think the concerned troll reader is one lurking antagonist who wants to get under everyone's skin.
215. RazDreams said:
"ass-troll"?! "kc" may very well be his/her initials, not an annoying pseudonym. these comments are here, i thought, for us to comment on this website in a respectful way. all of us.
216. Mrs.Strizzay said:
You wanna (put A1 in yur butt) all night loong
yeah e yeaaah
217. that-andrea said:
Good to know soy milk is okay for babies - I drink it myself (the enriched kind) but wondered if it has everything an infant would need. I actually like soy milk - you just can't expect it to taste like cow milk. Same as with any of the fake meats - they are good additions to a diet but you can't expect them to be exactly the same as the "real thing".
218. Matt in London said:
I'm off to shave my 'arris and work out how to use a digital camera thingummy in order to join the arse-fest....I feel I was born for this momemt (note to self, better have monthly bath tonight)
219. Fluit said:
Normally, I'd have no idea how good a deal your price of milk is, being too lazy to convert the price into Canadian dollars and the gallons into litres, but I DO understand Count Chocula, so I KNOW how good a deal that milk is. [Mmmmm....Count Chocula...] [mmmmm....milk!]
We drank so much milk as kids our mom must have been the only mom who'd say "don't drink so much milk!"
220. Girl.A said:
I'm sure kc didn't mean to hurt anyone. (no sarcasm) A bit odd to make a public plea like that. With no evidence of said activity taking place - only a funny blurb.
But, if anything's possible - here's my public plea:
Dooce, please, please, *please do not sell Chuck to the Vegas Doggy Burlesque Show* as I have been ever more-increasingly and insistently BEGGING you to do in my emails lo these many months!
I was only kidding.
221. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Listen, the whole thing was a joke.
KC it is a joke. Like funny _hahaha_
I highly doubt Dooce is setting up her web cam for us to pay by the minute to watch Leta perform tricks for Wagon Wheels.
Really. Way to much literallacy (yeah thats a word) on this site.
222. the niffer said:
Matt - let's have a before and after shot.
223. RazDreams said:
just because every reader of this site doesn't comment here all day long, every day, certainly doesn't imply that they are a "lurking antagonist." the public reads this site, open for everyone, and each person comments as frequently or infrequently as they'd like. kc seemed concerned; not antagonistic. i fail to see how kc was being an ass-troll. there are rude posters, but dooce certainly has the ability to delete/handle those as she'd like.
224. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Dooce : Flooded with ass shots since 02/2005
225. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I didn't think KC was rude or mean, just oblivious to the point. It would have been great if that was being said for laughs.
Add the humore next time.
226. MrsDoF said:
My cousin (who proudly boasts of being on skis in 5 states and two foreign countries) says that Utah has the best snow. I dunno if he's correct because I've never been.
for cb #141, the Walter Mathhau movie KOTCH is a goodie. There is a scene where gas is passed, either WM or his companion in the scene.
Congrats to Leta for the transition to milk, which is so much easier on the wallet. Although I learned the hard way that soy milk cannot be used as a substitute in my banana nut bread recipe. Baking requires the stuff from the cow.
227. Amanda B. said:
kc- My *ass* is on the internet for everyone to see for the love of sweet gentle jesus. You'd better be nice to me and to dooce.
Metro, Jack has such a nicely shaped ass. My dogs will be jealous.
228. RazDreams said:
i may not agree with what kc says, but i will defend to the death his/her right to say it. (very loose "Voltaire" quote)
229. kc said:
I understand that I may have used the wrong choice of words in my disclaimer. I see so many people blaze in here with a stream of criticism and no forewarning, and it totally backfires on them to the point where people don't listen to them even if their point is valid, and I didn't want to catch people off guard. I really was just concerned and was trying to inject one dissenting idea. I did actually do it rather respectfully.
And yes, "kc" is my initials. My first name is in my email address, which I would not have given if I were a troll. My first name is as much personal info as I'm comfortable giving on a website, and as much as many other readers give.
230. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I like big butts and I cannot lie
231. LadyBug said:
ALRIGHT ALREADY....
Geesh....This is starting to sound like my girls bickering, and I just. can't. take. that. anymore.
Can we please, *please* start talking about farts again?
232. Mrs.Strizzay said:
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face
233. Shan in Victoria said:
I miss snow. Not today specifically, but in general. We get one dump a year and if we're lucky it lasts a day or two and there are SNOWMEN FRICKEN EVERYWHERE! Then they all slowly morph back into the ground - hundreds of shrinking dirty lumps of snow on too long green lawns and big dirty mounds of snow taking up 3 parking spaces in every mall parking lot (those aren't the remains of snowmen).
I miss skiing too. But today it's one of those fabulously sunny days that we in Victoria like to brag about to anyone from somewhere cold and snowy. I think I'll go pick some flowers and take the kids to the park. :)
234. Girl.A said:
For the record, I did not say that kc is a troll or rude - just a little funny-bone-challenged at the time of the post.
[Again, surprising when people offer parenting advice, especially as a public plea against behavior for which there is no evidence.]
Girl.A hate nobody.
235. the niffer said:
you other brothers can't deny
236. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Im hooked and I cant stop starin' OH BABY I wanna get witcha
237. LadyBug said:
*Shan in Victoria*
One dump a year? That sounds mighty painful for your colon.
238. kc said:
The origin of my comment, for those wondering -- I took from dooce's front page post that she was trying to teach Leta the "butterfly kisses" thing so that she could post photos of it as a direct resoponse to a request from readers. If that is not the case, then I'm mistaken, but that sure is how it reads.
239. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I wont cuss of hitcha
My home boys try to warn me but that butt you got
240. warcrygirl said:
I'm always surprised when I get anonymouse parenting tips it always ends up being from people who don't have kids. Isn't that like taking medical advice from your plumber?
I'm not saying KC doesn't have kids, just sharing a personal observation.
241. the niffer said:
Forgot to mention, in no particular order: Nice asses Jack and Amanda B.!
242. Liz said:
the dude with the glasses looks identical to my grandfather who currently resides in hawaii. how eerie.
243. Mrs.Strizzay said:
ME SOOO HORNYYYY (in asian 2LiveCrew sex song that started the whole parental warning thing (TIPPER!) voice)
244. that-andrea said:
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!
245. RazDreams said:
(i believe kc wrote, "Please don’t make your daughter *start* performing...", hence the admission that there's no evidence of such yet. it was just a comment on a post, done as respectfully as possible.)
246. Girl.A said:
Back to the grind
Matt in London: I thought l8er was "I ate 'er"
247. Mrs.Strizzay said:
*whipping sound*
248. Kim said:
AmandaB. You Rock.
249. Mrs.Strizzay said:
You can do side bends or sit ups but please dont lose that butt
250. Charlotte said:
Ladybug - I thought CM's dog's ass was a tattooed man also. Skirry!
251. MonoCerdo said:
You know, Amanda B., up until today I had managed to avoid actually visualizing the Forbidden A1 Butt Act, but now, thanks to your (very funny) pictorial reference, I have crossed that line and the mental images AREN'T PRETTY THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
252. that-andrea said:
'cause yo waist is small and yo curves are kickin - and I'm thinkin 'bout stickin...
253. the niffer said:
When my hubby heard about the A1 bottle incident he asked, "which end?" Talk aboot bad mental images.
254. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Whats up that Andrea in Bing Hampton
255. Matt in London said:
Girl A - I like your way of thinking :-)
256. that-andrea said:
Wassup Mizz Strizz
257. the niffer said:
Is that your store, that Andrea?
258. the niffer said:
And where the fudge is Binghampton?
259. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I know an Andrea from Bing Hampton
260. AndreaBT said:
Raz and KC...you both need to read Dooce's FAQ page, particularly the last FAQ about unsolicited advice.
And anyone who's read this site for a significant length of time should know not to take ANYTHING Heather says about Leta seriously. Or anything at all seriously, for that matter.
261. Mamaramma said:
Dog butts - can't get enough of 'em. We're lucky enough to have a dog whose anus visibly puckers when she has to go poop. She never has to whine about it - we just know. I posted a pic of her in her lil' boots on my site.
262. that-andrea said:
'tis, and Binghamton is in the mucky unshorn armpit of NY - um maybe 3 hours from the city?
263. the niffer said:
'cept for the lovely monthly newsletters.
264. Mrs.Strizzay said:
You mean Leta CANT FLY??????????
265. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Yeah but your only like 5 minutes from PA
266. that-andrea said:
True dat
267. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Wait wait wait..Mamaramma you WATCH FOR YOUR DOG ASS PUCKERAGE?????? eew
268. that-andrea said:
Where is It Keeps Snowing? Nearby, methinks?
269. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Andrea have you ever worked in a food based establishment?
270. the niffer said:
Cool that Andrea! Funky store. Similar to one we have in my neighbourhood called funky finds.
I may have passed Binghamton once when we took a wrong turn on our way to Pittsburgh.
271. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Lmao, tha Cuse baby.
272. Ahem, for kc said:
Here's an honest and respectful way to express *your opinion*, with no implications on anyone else.
" I hope Dooce was kidding because it bothers me when parents ask their kids to do stuff on command. "
(No plea implying harm coming to Leta, no use of the inflammatory phrase "trained monkey")
273. that-andrea said:
Several - which one would you be thinking of?
274. Mrs.Strizzay said:
oh, we back on that again
275. Mamaramma said:
Mrs. Strizzay - Watch for it? No. Be aware of pink flaring to prevent poopage is the apartment? Oh, most definitely yes. When people dogsit, I tell them about her "sign language" and they are most appreciative.
276. Amanda B. said:
Thanks guys. My ass looks freakin huge. I have a powerful and mighty ass, and it is here for your pleasure.
Tommorow- my cat Fergus's ass, and it it massive.
277. that-andrea said:
Thanks niffer! It's a work in progress fer sure.
278. RazDreams said:
i've been around this site for quite a while, and i've always be respectful to others. and i'm well aware of dooce's faq section and what it reads. my point was simply that kc was being respectful and offering an opinion, unsolicited though it may be. this is a *comments section,* presumably for comments about posts from dooce and her daily photos. kc was not rude in any way, and subsequently apologized for offending anyone. then he/she was called an "ass troll" and a "lurking antagonist." how is that respectful? this is a site open to the entire world. not everyone who reads it comments all the time. when someone new does, they shouldn't be called an ass-troll or a lurking antagonist. THAT is what i have a problem with.
279. Mrs.Strizzay said:
One that primarily delivers dishes that would have to be captured using various forms of meshwork.
280. the niffer said:
Amanda B - your ass isn't too big, the sign is too small.
281. Exact quote said:
Raz,
Here's an exact quote from kc's post:
Leta deserves more respect than to be treated like a trained monkey.
That is a shaming statement. Period.
282. the niffer said:
And one more thing Amanda B - I think your ass is lovely. Do you curl?
283. Mrs.Strizzay said:
BLAH FUCKING END IT ALREADY
MUCH ASS TALK TO BE HAD HERE PEOPLE
284. that-andrea said:
LOL, you're so cryptic! But no, I haven't worked in such a place. The most recent food establishment I worked at primarily offers dough-and-tomato-sauce-based dishes.
285. AndreaBT said:
Maybe I should send a photo of my two month old's adorable behind. Her tushie is just the CUTEST!!!
286. Amanda B. said:
Some of you could start a major war over cheese. Lighten up. Let it go. Pictures of asses are funny.
287. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Oh ok. I don't know you. hahaha
288. ashik said:
Striz -
"use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy"!!!
289. the niffer said:
You got sumpin against cheese?
290. that-andrea said:
What'd you say about cheese? Don't get me started, man.
291. Mrs.Strizzay said:
To hell with romancin
she sweat(?) wet got it going like a turbo jet
292. Girl.A said:
Amanda B?
Can it be true? Your ass is here for my pleasure?!
Too late. I'm already spent.
Will wait for Fergus' ass tomorrow.
(For the dry readers: I am referring to the pleasure of laughing. Will laugh at Fergus' ass. That was a little double-intendre up there. Girl.A is not a bestial girl.)
293. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Me...easily distracted LMAO
294. Circus Kelli said:
Michelle Brady: Thank heavens for modern medical technology and tubal ligations.
AMEN! and pass the chocolate!
295. Eclair said:
Oh. My. God. Becky. .... My husband serenades me with that song.. "Red beans and rice didn't miss her..." "35-25-37? Only if she's 5'3"!" God damn MixALot. For the record, I'm 5'5".
ClosetMetro #159. He and my husband have matching "Sulphur" T-shirts. I just don't like other folks teasing - leaves less for me.
296. ashik said:
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon!!!!
297. LadyBug said:
CHEESE! Who said cheese? 'Manda B.? You talkin' cheese, girl?
Or are we back to the fart talk, as in *Who cut the cheese?*
298. the niffer said:
That's it Amanada B. You're dead after school. You just messed with the wrong niffer and that Andrea.
299. tIffany said:
A shaming statement? Dude, trained monkeys are AWESOME. There is absolutely no shame in treating your child like a trained monkey. Right now I'm treating mine like a wild monkey and letting him eat/throw dry cereal and play with a mylar balloon so I don't have to actually like, DO anything today. Teaching butterfly kisses involves a lot more interaction than I'm providing at the moment. Go Heather.
300. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Cheese is only good sometimes.
half crusty american that never got covered before it went inot the fridge...nasty
mozz cheese wrapped around some mini pretzels...mmmmm