Jones. He got in the way.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
601. Dang Cold.. said:
thanks Ern...thats alot.
602. Ern said:
DC--am I ruining your little SI Swimsuit fanatasy?
603. Dang Cold.. said:
and you are comment # 600 you lucky dawg
604. Dang Cold.. said:
no I just feel like an old buzzard...
605. Ern said:
#600 in the house! Woooo!
606. Charlotte said:
GOD, is that you posing as Jones?
607. Katie-be-bored-at-work said:
It freaks me out when I go to buy cigarettes and it says "You had to be born on this day in 1987 to buy cigarettes". 1987! What the hell! Shouldn't those kids still be in diapers?!?
608. Dang Cold.. said:
doctor jones. the ark of the covenant was not meant to be disturbed...
609. Dang Cold.. said:
now throw me the idol I throw you the whip!!
610. jp said:
Dang, you are only as old as you feel. I just love saying my friend Dang, I am going to have to tell my live friends that my internet friend Dang is an old, perverted buzzard! jk, you know I love you, don't you Dang?
611. Dang Cold.. said:
take yer hands off of me you old coot!! (jk)
612. Charlotte said:
Dang, don't feel old...I'm older than you!
613. Dang Cold.. said:
dah I'm still a young buck...and mallory will go down that road like everyone else :)
614. Ern said:
Age is all relative. I have a friend a couple of years older than me who looks forward to each birthday, to getting gray hairs, wrinkles. They are signs of a life well led, and should be embraced. I try to take my cues from her.
615. Ern said:
*Ern puts soapbox back behind the refreshmnent table, where it was left by Dang yesterday.*
616. Dang Cold.. said:
I like the idea of getting older as it pertains to eventually retiring and then fishing all day
617. jp said:
Dang you are just giving your self away using words like coot and young buck.
618. part-timer said:
Jeebus, Fuck. It's gettin hard to keep up.... reading.....
619. Dang Cold.. said:
all I had I gave JP...all of it
"dang cold pulls out his pockets showing how empty they are*
620. Dang Cold.. said:
yep..fucked that up...
621. jp said:
Dang, are you offering to be my cyber sugar daddy?
622. jp said:
Cause if you are, I don't know if you heard I need a taco and some vodka.
623. Dang Cold.. said:
JP--If I'm gonna be your candy man you gotta be my salty dawg :P
*dang cold smiles showing a big gold tooth & grasps the banaka in the inside of his jacket pocket but stops there*
624. Dang Cold.. said:
taco and vodka.. a latin, russian union..very refined indeed.
625. Dang Cold.. said:
add some chicken curry and penne and it'll be a UN meeting inside your stomach
626. jp said:
Thats me, so refined. But you know you love a brash girl now don't ya? I love salty dogs, ok I so need a drink now.
627. Squish said:
626 comments...because of Dooce.com America has obviously adopted a 3 day work week!
628. Dang Cold.. said:
*dang cold serves up a pitcher of cool aid and a couple of coconut glasses. He'll break out the good stuff in a bit*
So uh...JP. I'm a Taurus how bouch you?
629. jp said:
Is that a cum-on? I mean pick line Dang? Aries of course.
630. Squish said:
I feel as if I've accidentally walked into a pick-up bar...ewww!
631. Dang Cold.. said:
3 day work week? thats too sweet for words....
632. Dang Cold.. said:
no no plenty a cool aid for everybody...don't go squish, really
633. Squish said:
Bye, dudes! Don't catch anything... ;)
634. Dang Cold.. said:
fine mo cool aid for me, sucka..
635. jp said:
Well Dang it seems as though your threesome just dwindled to one, don't get a cool-aid stash. I'm out. Love ya big daddy!
636. moose said:
I'm not sure about that comment, plenty of cool aid for everybody, not Jonesing, um no, what was? Jonestown?
637. moose said:
So Dang. Got a question for you. Really 31?
638. Dang Cold.. said:
Coolaid as in JJ from Good Times not jonestown.
639. warcrygirl said:
Katrina: Holy Crap, do we live in the same state? I was born and raised in San Diego and now live in the South. There is NO mexican food in the south.
640. Nik said:
Actually I knew. But only because of this: http://realworldroadrules.blogspot.com/
Yes, I'm pathetic.
641. LordGoon said:
The way that your dog looks is the way that I feel right now. At this very moment. Nay, this second.
642. Annejelynn said:
HOLY COMMENTS! OVER 600? WOWZERS!
643. moose said:
OK, I feel a bit better bout that cool aid. But see that's what I mean, Dang. 31??
644. I AM JONES said:
There is no coincidence.
G.O. has been D.O.'d
D.O. is now the Order of the Day. My other half has stepped aside while I take care of a few things.
That is NOT all.
645. Dang Cold.. said:
moose,
yeah 31
646. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Its friggin Kool-Aid people.
647. jensplace said:
How about: now I know Mallory's hometown is the same town I used to live in, and I bet I know the same people she does. :-P
648. Wendy said:
I think it's cooler that Jacinda Barrett from Real World: London was in Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0057150/
649. Dang Cold.. said:
striz..
of course it is
'HEY KOOLAID'
650. Ern said:
Gotta get the mom in the house to help us spell KOOL-AID, Striz.
651. moose said:
rightchyar, striz. Kool-Aid. I was kind of enjoying the "cool aid," though. Just seems more refreshing that way.
OK Dang, 31, didn't mean to be annoying, just mildly curious. Baby. ;)
652. Mrs.Strizzay said:
whats yalls favorite Kool-Aid flavor?
653. ksyrah said:
Not sure 'bout ch'all.... but "Mallory" to ME means Family Ties...
ouch
and...as long as I'm treating this log as a confessional....(none of you are reading this anyway since it's the 900th comment)
I. Have. a Major. Forehead.
Heather: I'm in Knoxville, TN, visiting my 95 year old Gran who just got out of the hospital. I'm literate (but geographically challenged), liberal, cute (read: unassuming), a shamelss instigator to boot, and and would love to torture any family members or friends you deem need torturing in this region.
C'mon - there's only so much Lawrence Welk re-runs and "Hello darlin, how ya doin?"s I can take - I'm gonna have a FIT.
ALSO - I walked by an 8-9 year old kid with his ma(?) and the bit of conversation I got was "I just hate those niggers..." coming out of the mouth of the wee devil spawn...
I would have thrown up on the spot but all this Tennessee food comes cooked in a gallon of lard which means (still reading?) that I am unable to empty my stomach because the gallons of lard I have ingested have turned into glue and all contents of my stomach will remain adheared to my stomach lining for an undisclosed amount of time
I haven't pooped since i got here (5 days ago) and proabaly won't until I get home to Cali
*sigh* I'll hush now
654. eco2geek said:
Look, folks, they drank "Flavor Aid":http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flavor_Aid at Jonestown, not Kool-Aid.
Do not fear Dang Cold's dang cold drink.
655. that-andrea said:
LAWRENCE WELK! Gah!
656. Dang Cold.. said:
The cherry Koolaids fine babes...just putting in vodka. this is an adult party.
Good catch moose..bad choice a words. Never made the connection.
*dang cold breaks out the 40 of smirnoffs*
657. voyeur said:
ok -- I checked out Mallory, but I have to ask.... in the photo of her holding her swimsuit straps, why does it look like she's got a nursing pad under her swimsuit...seems odd to be leaking in SI...
658. Dang Cold.. said:
Family ties is the only other time I've heard the name Mallory..
remember skippy handelman?
659. Gooooder said:
hahaha
MALLORY!!!
wow dooce thanks for pointing that out. let me watch a realworld marathon any day of the week!
660. another whiner said:
There was a Mallory in Babysitter's Club. Why the hell do I remember that?
661. U.B. said:
I've never seen TRW, so I would've been no help.
I'm with Dang -- I can only think of the girl in Family Ties when I hear the name. The swimsuit girly's parents must've been *huge* fans.
662. Jaclyn said:
Heather, the first thing I thought when I read about your dream was Fight Club when Tyler was recruiting for Project Mayhem: "You're too fucking fat! And you, you're too fucking...BLONDE!"
663. Annejelynn said:
Dang Cold, how the hell did you not only remember "Skippy" but his last name of Handleman too?
664. Dang Cold.. said:
ksyrah...I'm with you on everything all the way except for the lard
I love lard...mmmm...lard. I'd use it as a grooming aid but I'd probably clear the room at work
665. Dang Cold.. said:
because I'm THE MAN annejelynne. don't know that yet? Just don't remember the actors name. was one of my favourite shows. That and good times...and Sanford & Son.
666. Dang Cold.. said:
oh and diff'rent strokes, taxi and cheers...quantum leap was cool too.
667. Dang Cold.. said:
I'm comment 666. since I won't be waking up tonight I bid you all adieu...I'll say hey to Nixon for everybody.
668. Dang Cold.. said:
my fault for not shutting up....just gonna sit here by myself and wait for the firy hole in the ground to open up...don't mind the smoke and its not pork chops you smell its dang cold.
669. eco2geek said:
A couple of links, especially for Girl.A: For only $715, you could have your very own "Prostrate Exam Simulator":http://www.armstrongmedical.com/ami/item.cfm?sction=2&sbsection=11&category=13&itemid=418 ... or, you could get the "bovine version":http://www.dcs.gla.ac.uk/~ac/brps.html ...
Back to lurk mode.
670. Relentless Christian Amber said:
668? Are we aiming for a new comment record or something? wowie.
Nice picture. Reminds me one of my friend's puppy that loved to be on camera. When he noticed the camera pointing at him, he'd go haywire.
671. Relentless Christian Amber said:
Eco2Geek,
For all those people that want to try anal without the mess!
672. Jena said:
Can you believe someone sent me a book on Kamasutra?! I blogged about it, but my lord! I just had to vent more. I laughed really hard, but what's the joke in that really? I mean, where's the point, ya know?
673. part-timer said:
Oh holy shit... #669... where is GirlA and Spoonleg??!!
And the BOVINE VERSION?...AMANDA B!!?? WHERE ARE YOU?
674. part-timer said:
where's the point in the kamasutra? i don't know... uh ... i'll be back later....
675. me said:
hey amber -
how did you know you were pregnant? what was the earliest symptom you had?
inquiring, possibly pregnant minds want to know!
676. Kristina said:
Does anyone else want a Dooce.com forum/message board?
677. Caroline said:
Numbers, sweet numbers, they're back! Why do they keep leaving and coming back? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO MY FRAGILE MIND?!
678. Relentless Christian Amber said:
First symptom?
Missing that monthly thing.
679. Jen said:
Haha I just died and thought I'd comment to say just how funny I think this is: REALLY funny.
680. me said:
nothing before that?
i'm sorry, i don't mean to be so personal. you totally don't have to answer.
681. AndiMAC said:
I LOVE Weimeraners.....
682. Closet Metro said:
Part-timer - I can help you skip to the good parts of that book.
*wink wink*
683. Relentless Christian Amber said:
Nope. Nothing before that.
684. part-timer said:
CM - hee hee!!! OK!
685. OregonKim said:
Oh sure Heather, now you smile for the camera, LOL.
Great shot, wish there were nose holes too.
686. me said:
wow, ok - thanks. i guess i'll do more googling.
congrats on your baby :)
687. Relentless Christian Amber said:
Thanks. I did have things happen after that, though.
688. Ren said:
"Mad Day-mon!" -- Team America.
Hehe. And I love that photo. Perfect!
689. Katherine said:
oh wow . . . I just laughed and laughed and laughed at this pic . . . thank you so much . . . what a freakin metaphor for like that pic is . . .
690. Girl.A said:
I don't know about you guys, but I think one of the more "odd" (cultural probably) things about the kama sutra is the way it focuses on pressing fingernails into the skin to create sliver-moon shaped impressions on your partner's skin....
691. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I agree that Mallory is hotter than pig piss in the summer sun, but the fact that her name is Mallory bugs me. It reminds me of the Mallory from Family Ties, who was not hot at all. Nothing shrinks a boner faster than the name Mallory. You'll just have to take my word on that.
692. CanadianAmy said:
yeah i hate the name Mallory too.
reminds me of Mallomars. And it sounds so dumb when you say it.
Mallory Mallory Mallory. Blech.
693. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Although it does sound a little like "mammary"...
694. Ken said:
Time to meet Jones.
695. copy_kitty said:
Wow. This Mallory. She must be one chiquita banana.
696. Ellemeister aka New Beer said:
Mallory... She's also in the new Abercrombie ads!!
697. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Mallory is pretty cute. Even though I kinda liked the blonde slut too, when she wasn't being a total baby that is.
698. Mrs.Strizzay said:
What about Real World San diego?? I loved that cast. They were the shit.
699. copy_kitty said:
Glad to see some familiar faces in the crowd tonight.
It's a party at the Blurbodoocery—every night!
700. Dang Cold.. said:
and I'm # 700
701. Ellemeister Again said:
After powerhour with Yuengling, I also think the pic of today was photoshoped in a major way. The dog wasn't in that shot. I'd say a feathering of 7-8 and some nice bluring helped it out.
702. Mrs.Strizzay said:
FIRST!!!!
703. Ern said:
Hey, #700, I was #600.
The par-tay tonight may result in record comments, I think.
704. Mrs.Strizzay said:
All I can do with photoshop is take off the digi cam fuzz and resize.
705. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I just got done babysitting a 5 month old with BAD GASS. I need a friggin drink.
706. Ern said:
*Ern passes Strizz the pitcher*
707. Mrs.Strizzay said:
This ain't no Jones juice is it???
708. Ern said:
It's whatever you want it to be!
709. Girl.A said:
Mallory was the Bonnie half of the homicidal duo in Natural Born Killers. She was extremely hot at the beginning of the film, kicking ass in the diner to the tune of L7's ShitList.
710. Dang Cold.. said:
I was also # 666 so keep a respectful buffer zone around dc. I'm cursed ya know.
rotten newz striz..
*dang cold making it quick with the gin and the ice*
711. Ern said:
The google ads are for Momma Slappin' T-shirts and Scary Sound downloads!
712. Girl.A said:
DC, respectfully, when you're also 100 other numbers, it kinda waters down your evilness a bit. ;)
713. copy_kitty said:
Girl.A:
Ah, yes. And wasn't Mallory in the Cape Fear remake?
714. Dang Cold.. said:
girl a. -- merely thinking of your safetly when the lightening hits
..ching ching and bottoms up
;)
715. Girl.A said:
Yeah, Juliette Lewis. And she was in Kalifornia, where Brad Pitt played the sexiest serial killer ever, maybe. And she was in Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase. And Gilbert Grape, and Basketball Diaries...
716. Closet Metro said:
Juliette Lewis played "Mallory Knox" in Natural Born Killers and "Danielle Bowden" in Cape Fear
717. Girl.A said:
And horny wife in Old School...
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000496/
Bottom's up CD. I'm sippin Shiraz this eve. I can't make myself do work if I drink my other fave drink: Tequila.
718. copy_kitty said:
Girl.A:
You WORK?!
(just kidding, you dooce-aholic, you!)
719. cb said:
There was some weird movie Juliette Lewis was in, where she was the girlfriend of this guy who could videotape his experiences and play them back, sell them to other people. Anyone remember what it was called? I've had freaky dreams about that movie for years. She rollerbladed in it.
720. Girl.A said:
ha, copy. check the logs. I pop in and out. I'd say I worked more than lots of other, umm, folks.
I am a recovering workaholic. It takes time to ramp down for good.
721. copy_kitty said:
Anyone else out there WORK?! Or do you just get paid for being Dooce groupies?
'Cause that would be a damn good gig!
722. Girl.A said:
strange days
723. Closet Metro said:
I don't work. I'm here all damn day.
724. cb said:
Thanks, Girl A.
I'd looked through her titles at imbd and didn't remember that Ralph Fiennes was in the movie I was thinking of. But reading the extended info now--yeah, that's the same one. I'll have to rent it to see again what freaked me out about it so much.
725. Ali said:
Holy crap, I met Mallory and Ace at a Collegefest event in Boston...and now HER JUMBLIES. ARE OUT.
She said she liked my purse. I was like "Hmmm. Now my purse is not just cool, it's Real World cool"
726. shy me said:
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
727. Dang Cold.. said:
Its a balancing act this work and dooce thing. ;)
*dang cold sips his gin with a slight and subtle grin*
728. Ern said:
The frequent pop-ins to Dooce aren't always conducive to studying :| But they are good for morale!
729. Cristin said:
anoyone know the best drink to accompany administering nebulized meds to a 5 yr old?
the cough is making me NUTS
(and no, before you say it, I was NOT QUITE nuts already, only almost)
;p
730. RazDreams said:
Seven-hundred-and-twenty-eight comments?! What in the world are we discussing here? Poop? Nekkid gurrls in Sports Illustrated? Boners? This is all very exciting. I go out to eat sushi and return to find 300 new comments. I'm guesstimating dooce's database is filling up pri-tee darned quickly!
731. Mrs.Strizzay said:
nemo sushi?
732. Jennifyr said:
That picture makes me giggle. I love how you can see little heads in the background but obviously the dog was overcome with curioustiy and just had to sniff the weird picture taking thing.
733. RazDreams said:
girl.a (#717): i was sippin' some shiraz too this evening, but that stuff goes down too quickly. must. move. on. to. port.
734. Mrs.Strizzay said:
sippin on some syzzurp
735. Ern said:
Pinot Noir is my vino of choice! must.be.enjoyed.in.proper.glass to avoid conniption fit
736. Ern said:
Kinda like a martini not being the same in a styrofoam cup!
737. Larry said:
My dog kicks over the tripod.
738. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I would love a Pino Grigio or Reisling right now. MMMM. I think I will however use my handy dandy hand mixer to make some OJ. Then comes the vodka baby.
739. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I have to be to blockbuster before midnight. What movies should I get??
740. Dang Cold.. said:
Ern said at 07:47PM, 02.17.2005:
The frequent pop-ins to Dooce aren’t always conducive to studying :| But they are good for morale!
you said it buddy!!
*Dang Cold grabs a bottle a Shiraz of his own. He's grinning, of course*
741. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I for sure though we would make it to a thousand today. All you AM refreshers trying to be FIRST!!! better chat it up.
742. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Its only 8 oclock Utah time people. Jeeeez
743. Ern said:
WHAT ABOUT MATT DAMON!?!?
744. RazDreams said:
Dang Cold..: if you weren't married (and obviously so very much in love...gag...can i marry the both of you?), i'd snuggle up next to you (well, and up next to mrs. dc too, *sigh* ), and i'd help you (both) drink up that bottle of shiraz. i might even steal some of your gin. hey, a girl likes her dirty martinis!!!
745. Circus Kelli said:
Dang Cold.. said at 04:40PM, 02.17.2005:
no no plenty a cool aid for everybody…don’t go squish, really
Heh... don't go squish, really... no... we don't want people going squish around here... ewwww
746. Circus Kelli said:
jensplace said at 05:08PM, 02.17.2005:
How about: now I know Mallory’s hometown is the same town I used to live in, and I bet I know the same people she does. :-P
Jensplace: Do you still live in IL?
747. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Tome Cruise is from my home town.
To bad he is gay, and one of those Scientologists.
748. Matt Damon said:
Ern,
Damn, girl! What do you want?
749. Matt Damon said:
Sheez, you ain't gotta yell.
750. Dang Cold.. said:
razdreams--You have my attention. I can dig it. gin AND shiraz? I can take it if you can.
Strizzay u think we'll hit 1000?
751. Matt Damon said:
Ern,
I like your apples too. Just don't tell Annejelynn.
752. Dang Cold.. said:
CK I see you're catching up?
753. Circus Kelli said:
Hello, my name is Circus Kelli and I'm a Dooceaholic.
*sniff* Damn, I missed you guys between the time I left work and got home this evening...
Work is ALWAYS getting in the way of my Dooceing... it does, however, pay better. :)
754. Circus Kelli said:
Yeppers. I'm all caught up... for now. It's almost my bedtime, though.
755. RazDreams said:
1000 comments will be here by morning's light...before the "schuck picture" is posted and we all start singing, "RUFF!"
dc: sushi, shiraz, and dooce have me tipsy enough as it is. all that mallory/mammory talk gots me a little flush. i'm not sure if i could handle gin *and* jenn right now. i'm sure she could take me down with a punch at this point anyway....
756. Annejelynn said:
Matt Damon! you apple handler!
just wanna take a bite outta every girl's apples, eh?
757. StarGazer said:
He could bite my apples anytime...
758. Matt Damon said:
Shit.
Annejelynn, baby, I didn't mean it...you've got the only apples I wanna make into sauce.
Ew. This is getting gross.
759. Ben Affleck said:
Ben, Hey! No fair hogging up all the Dooce boobs.
760. Dang Cold.. said:
Night..
Neil Young - Down by the River
Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
baby
There is no reason
for you to hide
It's so hard for me
staying here all alone
When you could be
taking me for a ride.
Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.
You take my hand,
I'll take your hand
Together we may get away
This much madness
is too much sorrow
It's impossible
to make it today.
Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.
Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
baby
There is no reason
for you to hide
It's so hard for me
staying here all alone
When you could be
taking me for a ride.
Yeah, she could drag me
over the rainbow,
send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.
761. Plaster Caster said:
You're a real ball of sunshine Dang.
762. Annejelynn said:
Matt Damon - are we talking manogamy here? my apples only? no others? wow. I got the claim on Matt Damon.
*stunned*
763. Annejelynn said:
mOnogamy
764. Skankho said:
Is it just me, or is one of Mallory's push-up "chicken cutlets" hanging out of the bikini top in one of those pics?
765. Annejelynn said:
MOnogamy with Matt Damon. Me n' Matt Damon - mmmmmmm....
766. Matt Damon said:
Annejelynn,
Oh, and I may be gay.
767. Ern said:
I knew it, Matt Damon. You were too good on that Will and Grace episode. Nobody's that believable of a fake flamer!
768. RazDreams said:
dc: don't shot your baby dead down by the river.
769. Ern said:
Matt doesn't wanna handle the apples at all!
He's more of a banana man.
770. Matt Damon said:
I like to toss salads.
771. RazDreams said:
i like to handle teabags.
772. Matt Damon said:
I'm gonna go give someone a nice fruitbowl. See you all later.
Annejelynn, Thank you for giving me the appley strength to embrace my true sexuality. You're a hero.
P.S. I still love your apples, but in the I-wish-I-had-boobs way. Good job though.
773. Girl.A said:
"man"-ogamy
lol
774. Relentless Christian Amber said:
Looks like another party tonight. Too bad I can't stick around.
So does anyone know if Dooce is going to make that Tard of the Day award?
775. Annejelynn said:
I just got home from class.
absolutely laughin' my ass off!
776. Kick Shoe Kooy said:
Thanks for the blog, Heather. I get a lot of laughs from it. I wish my father was still alive to tell me I'm funny. I've quoted you a bit on my site. Keep it funny.
777. Katie-be-happy-at-home said:
I like to handle teabags, too. Apples and teabags.
778. robyn said:
hey dooce. just thought i'd let you know i didn't know mallory was in sports illustrated, but i grew up really close to her ... hee-hee!!!!!
779. Katie-be-happy-at-home said:
Ohmygod, I just realized tomorrow is Chuck Friday. I am so excited. Must go for now... 3 year old is tugging on my sleeve and saying "I wanna see pictures of CHUCK!!!" Dear Lord, I have created a preschool Dooceaholic.
780. spoonleg said:
You know new york you need new york you know you need unique new york. WHAT about MATT damon?!
781. Matt Damon said:
Hey! Where'd everybody go? (echo)
782. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Some people like honey on their teabags.
Me, I prefer to soak the teabags and rest them gently on my eyes. they have an anti-aging affect.
And I like the smell of Noxema.
783. Mrs.Strizzay said:
All I know is that when Mallory is holding her breasticles they look much less appealing than when she has them duct taped into her bikini.
784. Lola said:
voyeur said at 05:27PM, 02.17.2005:
ok — I checked out Mallory, but I have to ask…. in the photo of her holding her swimsuit straps, why does it look like she’s got a nursing pad under her swimsuit…seems odd to be leaking in SI…
YES I wondered that too! Weird scars, or maybe a sandwich baggie inside of the bikini top!
Oh, and Dooce, I've lurked on your blog a long time. I even TiVoed the ABC news thing like a fangirl. You just make my forced ex-Mormon-in-Provo grin a lot less of a grimace of pain. Muah.
785. Aimee. said:
I just shit my pants because this has nearly 800 comments.
786. spoonleg said:
hey matt, wanna teabag me?
787. eco2geek said:
_breasticles_ -- now that's cold.
They're coming out with a new wine based on a hybrid grape that's red, dry, fruity and tannic. But its best quality is that it's an anti-diuretic, meaning you can drink lots of it before going to bed without having to get up three times to use the bathroom.
It's called "pinot more."
788. Alli said:
Have you ever stopped to think about Malt-O-Meal cereal? I mean, hello, CocoRoos are cheap CoCoPuffs. I understand those are comparable and basically as good. But here, Heather, let me remark about:
Marshmallow Mateys.
Bits of lightly sugar coated cereal with their pirate pals, the Mateys. Good God, if I'd have known about these as a child, I'd have put them in my purse and taken them to sacrament meeting myself.
You're doing an amazing job with Leta. Read you frequently. Link to you as well, but who doesn't. Also, GEORGE! has visited my site. I almost giggled til I peed because, uh, hello, its fucking GEORGE!
that is all.
Alli-bo-balli-bop
ps, i'm coming to SLC to see my still righteous sister and her perfect but jerky kids in a month. Lets get drunk.
That is all, for real yo.
789. Susan said:
He must have seen the red light flashing... it attacts everyone I swear.
790. Ern said:
No 1000 comments today, it seems.
791. Annejelynn said:
we're not stopping under 800 comments are we?
792. Annejelynn said:
must
793. Annejelynn said:
go
794. Annejelynn said:
ahhhhoooon....
795. Annejelynn said:
keep
796. Annejelynn said:
it
797. Annejelynn said:
up
798. Annejelynn said:
(although it is only 11:31pm, I'm obviously A-L-O-N-E here!)
799. Annejelynn said:
almost
800. Annejelynn said:
there.....
801. Annejelynn said:
*NOW!!!!*
802. Annejelynn said:
woo-hoo! I (we?) -- no, *I* broke 800 fer Dooce!
YEA ME (pathetic lil' me)!
803. Annejelynn said:
It's not yet midnight here...should I keep 'em coming?
804. in the back said:
this place looks like the inside of the good morning america show where all the no bodies crowd around the important news anchor people and smile like idiots because they are on tv and get to write about it in the blogs.
go dooce-aholics!
805. spoonleg said:
annejelynn, step away from the medicine cabinet before MATT DAMON gets hurt.
806. Annejelynn said:
I don't think there's any point in continuing...I can't break 900 in less than 8 minutes til midnight.
807. Annejelynn said:
yeah, I had JUST posted to my own lil' infant blog, confessing my delirious state, posting and posting, one after the other to hit 800
for some reason I'm in denial and refuse to go to bed or find something productive to do
*pouty bottom lip protrudes*
808. Annejelynn said:
k, can't leave it at an odd number...one minute to go!
809. Annejelynn said:
First! (as in the first Pacific Time Zone post for 2/18/05 comments)
810. Peter Hentges said:
Oh, there's an odd number Annejelynn. You better stay up for a while more. ;)
811. Annejelynn said:
mmmkay -- I gotta stop, right? right (as if this issue should be posed in question)
g'night night - the wacko is leaving.
812. Peter Hentges said:
Oooh, you're sneaky....
813. Peter Hentges said:
Leaving already? But it's not even lunch time (says the Central Time third-shift wacko).
814. Annejelynn said:
Hey Peter! where you at? --time zones -- EST? MNT? PAC?
(you just HAD to comment and keep me goin' - didn't ya?)
815. Peter Hentges said:
Exactly. I get lonely here at work at night. :)
816. Annejelynn said:
oops - sorry. Forgot Central (I'm from Iowa - shame on me!).
817. Ern said:
Annejelyn,
Now, I'm only saying this because I care.
But there are a lot of decaf brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing!
818. Peter Hentges said:
Well, if you're from Iowa, we make allowances. (I'm from Minnesota, you see.)
819. Annejelynn said:
hey Peter, should we go for 900?
we can switch off...(unfortunately, I'm NOT kidding)
820. Peter Hentges said:
What's your excuse for being up, Ern?
821. Annejelynn said:
*ERN!* yer here!!! ya wanna join Peter and I on a 900 comments quest?
822. Peter Hentges said:
I'm not into the whole number game. But if you keep chatting, I'll keep responding. :)
823. Annejelynn said:
WE CAN DO IT! THE POWER OF THREE! Come on! Join me in my lunacy!
824. Ern said:
I'm on the west coast, so it's only midnight.
And I'm working on a paper that I put off until the night before it was due. As per my usual procrastinating self.
825. Annejelynn said:
Peter, so while you're working the god-awful 3rd shift, do you thoroughly catch up on your proper dooce consumption?
826. Annejelynn said:
Are you a daily dooceling, Peter?
827. Ern said:
Actually, my lunacy is about to fall asleep. But I will probably be up early enough to post on this daily pic before Dooce posts a new one!
828. Peter Hentges said:
Ahh, procrastination, the mother of ... something, I'm sure.
Go, AJ, with the Charmed reference....
829. Annejelynn said:
AHHH, PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATION!
(please apply the Rod Steward tune of 'Infatuation')
830. Annejelynn said:
AHHH, PRO-CRAS-TI-NATION!
(please apply the Rod Steward tune of 'Infatuation')
831. Peter Hentges said:
I visit dooce daily and have commented before (and sent very nice, non-judgemental, supportive email). There just usually isn't anyone else around by the time I can get around to checking in.
832. Ern said:
Annejelynn, you are a loon. But I love yer crazy self!
Peter, I wish you a night of wakefulness. Since you're at work and all. ;)
G'night last few Doocelings!
833. Annejelynn said:
ah -- Shock! OH NO! I mispelled Rod StewarT?!?!?
834. Annejelynn said:
oh no, oh no, oh nooooo - ERN, she's leaving!!!
835. Peter Hentges said:
Not only that, but you did it twice!
(No fair double-posting on the way to #900!)
836. Annejelynn said:
well, Peter....
837. Peter Hentges said:
Alone at last. ;)
838. Annejelynn said:
shall we begin?
839. Annejelynn said:
oh no - I'm STILL here
840. Peter Hentges said:
Let us. (What are we beginning?)
841. Peter Hentges said:
I meant alone with you, baby. ;)
842. Annejelynn said:
see, at this rate, for every 2-3 of my posts to your one, we can hit 900 in say, less than 10 minutes???
843. Annejelynn said:
LMAOROTF - yeeesssirree, indeedy - we're alone! Now hit it! (more comments! I'm obsessed now - I admit it)
844. Peter Hentges said:
But then I'd be here at work, it would be 2:30 in the a.m. and I'd be bored out of my skull!
845. Annejelynn said:
going
846. Annejelynn said:
for 900!!!
847. Peter Hentges said:
No, we'll have to slow down ... make it last all night.
848. Annejelynn said:
I've officially lost it.
my smiley muscles are hurting
'make it last all night' - what song is that???
849. Annejelynn said:
..."last all night...she was, an american girl"...
850. Peter Hentges said:
"American Girl"--Tom Petty. Featured in the film, Silence of the Lambs.
851. back row kid said:
lets not and say we did:
1000
852. Annejelynn said:
hmmmm - contemplating 850 comments...should I stop? or should I go now? - wait, that'd be the same thing...
853. Peter Hentges said:
Well, we're past 850, so you might as well stay for the end of the show.
854. Annejelynn said:
AHHH! YES! I have Tom! how could I forget (other than the fact that I am DELERIOUSLY TIRED and in a sad state of denial and utter refusal to hit the sack)
855. Peter Hentges said:
Besides, if you stay up for another four hours or so, it'll be CHUCK FRIDAY!!
856. Annejelynn said:
oh! oh! arms waving!
back row kid! ya gonna help me, yes? join me --humor me-- in my quest for hittin' *NINE double O*!?!
857. Peter Hentges said:
Hey, nice pic for Self-Portait Wednesday, btw.
858. Annejelynn said:
man, I'm here for 900...
859. Peter Hentges said:
Why stop at 900? Why not go all the way?
860. Annejelynn said:
and I can't move just now anyways...my lil' Otis (cat #1) had conked out in my lap and he's snoring --- can't possibly disturb him.
I'll just hafta stay where I am, keyboard ready!
861. Peter Hentges said:
See ... obey the cats. They are the masters of the world and we, their lowly servants.
862. Annejelynn said:
oh, and additional reinforcements have settled in...Owen (cat #2) has laid himself up against my back.
People (Peter and back row kid), I'm here to STAY.
863. Annejelynn said:
*BACK ROW KID* - come back! add another comment or two, or three or four...five potato, six potato, seven potato more
864. Annejelynn said:
alrighty now...um, only (my mind is foggy - can't do basic arithmetic) how many more to go?
865. Peter Hentges said:
Just scrolled up to see your race for 800, AJ (do you mind if I call you AJ?), you are a certified loon. (Which, as the State Bird here in Minnesota, we approve of.)
866. Peter Hentges said:
35 after my last.
867. Peter Hentges said:
To 900, that was. 134 to the 1K.
868. Annejelynn said:
aren't we in the 30s here? again, just.cannot.do.simple.math
no, not now...not in THIS state of mind
869. Peter Hentges said:
Math is hard. Let's go shopping.
870. Annejelynn said:
I swear, it's call 'a lack of sleep'
871. Annejelynn said:
and sooo, one would think...
*GO TO BED, FER CHRISTSAKE!!*
right?
872. Peter Hentges said:
So spill a bit more about you, AJ: what's waiting for you in the morning?
873. Annejelynn said:
k - can't type....um, I mean spell?
no, I mean I can't type correctly - ???
um, um...
874. Peter Hentges said:
Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
875. Annejelynn said:
I get up at 6am - sometimes 7am
876. Annejelynn said:
either way, I have to be to work by 8am
877. Peter Hentges said:
And what do you do while awake (when you're not commenting like mad-woman on dooce.com)?
878. Annejelynn said:
and I usually get there at 8:15 instead, because I almost always stay to work late, so my oh-so-nice boss doesn't mind if I show, just as long as I make it by 8:30 - I'm usually there by 8:15 am
879. Annejelynn said:
um, me? ah, shit - what do I do?
880. Peter Hentges said:
That is nice. My current work is a bit more uptight than that. Time clock to punch and all that. Kind of a drag.
881. Annejelynn said:
a lot
882. Peter Hentges said:
They must pay your for something. Cat food ain't free.
883. Annejelynn said:
I betcha anything, that when I do finally go to bed, I will dream of Jones.
884. Annejelynn said:
and maybe, just maybe... Matt Damon
885. Peter Hentges said:
Jones is one creepy-looking pooch in the photo.
886. Annejelynn said:
yes, I get paid and it ain't enuff, and they know it - they live in fear of the day, oh-so-looming near, that I will leave them
887. Peter Hentges said:
Or of Jones doing Matt Damon. There's a nightmare for ya....
Oh, ick ... or Matt Damon doing Jones. That's JUST WRONG!!
888. Annejelynn said:
Jones is actually the dog of my cousin - won't name any names, but she is (the owner of Jones)
889. Annejelynn said:
oh no - don't go THERE!
890. Peter Hentges said:
And does your cousing know Matt Damon?
891. Peter Hentges said:
(I'm trying to avoid THERE, I really am.)
892. Annejelynn said:
your planting bad, very bad potential dream buds, man... I wouldn't want my dreams to violate Jones in that way, or Matt Damon, for that matter...
I can and do have some really 'WTF' dreams once in a while
893. Annejelynn said:
no, my cousin doesn't know Matt Damon, but if you haven't heard (read), Matt Damon likes my apples
894. Peter Hentges said:
I know ... it's not my fault, it comes from being awake at this hour every night. And I'm getting over a nasty cold. Back at work for the first time in a week and a half tonight.
895. Annejelynn said:
cool, I was *888*
896. Peter Hentges said:
Them must be pretty nice apples.
897. Annejelynn said:
and 889, and 892, and 893, and 895...OMG
898. Annejelynn said:
PETER!HENTGES!
we're almost there!
899. Annejelynn said:
oh! OH! oh! ohhhhhHHHHHH!
900. Henryk_ Fri@1945_Sydney time said:
Some hounds are a real P I T A > > (PAIN IN THE ASS)