awesome

Oh. . .it's been BROUGHTEN!

5th?!

She even looks good in black

biotch.

:p

you are so beautiful, thank you so much for this website.

Would it kill you to smile once in a while?

:)

Gorgeous, dahlin', simply gorgeous!

Looking at that picture made me think of a Spice Girls lyric... "She's a lady, she's a vamp..."

Smile, dammit! Like this :)
See?

Smile, Heather. Once in a while, smile for us.

Carrying on from yesterday's kung fu...today you have black ninja assasin....caught in a rare moment without her mask....

Self portrait Wednesday? She looks nothing LIKE Wednesday from the Addam's Family. Love the mirror - I used to have one like it a few years ago until my nephew broke it. DAMMIT, we can't have nice things. Have a swell day, Doocekateers.

Your hair looks really good!

Nice pic sexy Mama, with your sulty eyes. Smokin'!

Mihow has busted her chops getting this all put together! Thanks Mihow and Super Husband. It's a nice way to meet new folks and see sexy pics of the people you already Lurve. :)

P.S. We want Exhibit B.

Shit, I'm late today!

*Lisa S*
Maybe you're pregnant?

LOVE the self-portrait day site! Thank you for putting it together!
Thanks for letting us know about it!

Is it open to people who aren't as famous as Heather?

http://dangcold.blogspot.com

dang cold..- march 2003

I am smiling on the inside so relax :)

Ohhh ... Sultrydooce. Niiiice.

Bucky, why you always gots ta be dragging da minkey into this heeya thang?

Please just let minkey cower in the corner ... where no one can see him.

P.S. I've linked to my photo for portrait day. What you don't see is what Amanda B is doing to the rest of me!

Dooce, you were practicing your "come hither, Peter Jennings," stare in this picture, weren't you?

manda b - ur monkey looks in the middle of a long OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

she's ready for her close up, mr.demille...or does she vant to be alone?

So Dooce- I had a pretty wierd dream where me and my friends went to Utah to hang out with you! But you dyed your hair that white blonde and curled it- looking oh so countryesque..... even Jon was in the dream playing with Leta-
but then you tried to feel me up and so I left! hahahahha.....oi the unconscious!

Love the site, Dooce!

There are a few spots left for next week's launch! For those of you interested. Nudity is allowed, but no LeakButt.

Maybe she'll god damned smile, when she's damned ready. chill the fuck out, people who are insistent on others being happy. let me not smile, if I so choose.

Dooce is so purrrrty. And so darn funny. I love love love this website. You have gotten me through more than one day in my paralegal hell.

Very elegant.

And I like your window framing.

Dear Dooce:

I would like to live in your house, provided it comes Scrumptious Bearded Man and the Frog. You can stay, too. I'll need a drinking buddy.

As to How to Annoy You, people are stupid. Motherhood is hard, but not impossible. Anything easy wouldn't leave the triumphs feeling so sweet. And anyone is allowed to complain about how hard it really is, especially mothers with daughters. That territory is fraught with madness.

tell us more about leta crawling! we're dyin' over here! :)

Poor minkey. If it makes you feel any better, you DO eventually get used to the electric cattle prod up the ass. Don't ask me how I know that.

KimberAnn, you left just as you were getting felt up? That was gonna be the best part of the dream, chickie!

Patty! Download Spybot Search & Destroy - it's free, and will get rid of spyware for you.

Holy Shit...even DOOCE is doing the self-portrait day!

I feel so with it.

Come now good people, let her have that worried look...her baby is now self-propelled...

What is with all these insipid people asking for a smile? It reminds me of when I was a little kid and my relatives would say "She's SO cute. Oh, but she'd be SO much cuter if she would just smile once in while." F*@k off Mo-fo's!!! Smiles are terribly overrated!

What is it with Utah and turtlenecks? Is that the state-mandated attire?

In other news, has Leta stuck her hand in the toilet yet?

Johnny Fever, I think the turtleneck syndrome might have something to do with the sub-zero temperatures in Utah in February. Also, since I am also 5'11" like Ms. Heather, I find turtlenecks to be very flattering to my freakishly long neck. I don't know if she shares that attribute, but I live in sweltering Houston, TX and I still wear turtlenecks until May!

It's broughten!

Mihow- What?? You mean we could have been neked? Nooow you tell us.

Dazed- Whay does Celine Dion always sing about Hugh? Every night in my dreams, I touch Hugh...I feeeeel Hugh.

Monkey- ixnay on the onkeyma ornpay before i get aressted.

Here is my self-portrait. And this is one of the few pictures where I can be seen smiling. At least smiling a real smile.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27115375@N00/4567015/

Amanda B., Toby Joe and I went back and forth on the whole naked thing. He said "no." I said "yes." Basically, we figured if it was "tasteful" enough, why not allow for it? But that could change. There are only so many manasses and womanboobs I can handle seeing in one day.

Not that I don't love manasses and womanboobs.

Katie B: I peeked at your other pictures, too. I like the one of you at Denny's the best. :) Heh, that little Patrick is a cutie patootie!

Fish - Bwahahahhaha!!!

Thanks, Mihow!! You did a great job. You are all sexy bitches.

BRING IT! Yes, I can't believe dooce is participating in SPD! Everyone's pics are fabulous, btw. I want to hump Carol.

Sorry, that's Suzanne [http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B00000256G/ref=dp_product-image-only_0/002-1431714-9417603?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=507846]!

Dorky Question:

SelfPortriatDay.com is made by one of 'us', dooce commenters?

“Heather, you are so talented. Your ability to write and to make things funny is remarkable. I really admire that.”
-------
Isn't it strange how the internet can tell you that day in and day out, yet it takes on a *whole new dimension* when it comes from your Dad.

Hugs to you, Heather.

SEXY as heck Heather. You are a strikingly beautiful woman.

Dooce looks real good here.

But if I stare at her eyes too long I get a little skeered.

::purchases yourdadmademecry.com::

Heather, those words are golden.

Beautiful, talented and funny I can handle.

But you can CRY too? Now I am jealous!

Seriously, that is wonderful.

This self-portrait thing is a hoot! Can we do self-abuse Wednesday next week?

Oh, and what yo' daddy said, Heather? Tears. . .so. . .unseemly. . .for tough bitches like me. . .

I think it would be weird to make a smiling self-portrait. I like this one; it fits that you make one this week when big emotional things seem to be raining down on you.
It's beautiful.

I cried a little bit just then (if I full on cry my already runny nose will slide off my face)

I love your dad for making you happy!

Is that the ABC News sweater?

I agree with Romy... I'm gonna cry myself right out of a job. Oh wait... that would be sweet! Wonder if I can still get a pink slip for that.

Heather, I am respectfully requesting that you please stop making me bawl at work. My coworkers are threatening to have me committed.

Seriously, though...that's beautiful, you and your dad. Just...beautiful.

If I bawl at work I just tell them that I'm sad that I can't be here all hours of the day and have the productivity of my entire department combined. Its my dream to be that valuable to them and to set a good example to the other members of my corporate team :P

I've BROUGHTENED it. But I cheated. A little.
Oh hell, the pic I posted is better than one you'll find of me anywhere.

Aw, Dooce. I'm glad you and your Pappa had that talk. It's so hard I think, seeing out parents as just people. It's uncomfortable, for me anyway. My Pop wasn't perfect by a loooong shot, but he did a lot better than his parents did. Sniff.

I hope they were tears of release and happiness. Your Dad is right about you. :)

very nice ladybug :) They're definately rating high on the cute metre.

Dang Cold: Wow. And they BELIEVE that?!

Ladybug: I just clicked your link, and tried to post a comment, but there was a glitch or something, so it didn't take. The picture, though -- a simply precious photo of some simply beautiful subjects. :)

Heather,

Your post made me cry. Wow. That's two in the last few days.

What is it about monkeys? :-) Everywhere I go, there's something about monkeys!

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html

Okay = my dept. is all aware that I've had some health issues in the not so recent past and that I had been quite teary behind closed doors... I just realized why a few professors have been lately asking in one of those all so serious tones of concern "how have you been doing lately?" because 3 profs. have caught me bawling over the last couple days *all dooce.com induced bawling...* I just got caught again.

Heather, I am sooooo happy for you AND your father ~ that he clearly sees and recognizes your individual value beyond what he may have had in mind for you, resisting fatherly ideals - and happy for him, that he can communicate how he feels and what he thinks so openly to you (happy for you too, b/c he can do that). Awesome. Just awesome.

If my digital camera would work with my computer, I would SO put up a self portrait. But Kodak easyshare plus my gimpy computer= no such luck. If I ever get a chance to actually post a self portrait (If I could find a computer for $200, for example), I will totally link it here. Totally.

Also, I thought the Wednesday was a reference to the Addams family. I'm like... well, not really, but a little. What is today again? Oh!

Reconciliation-- see, this website is good for more than poop talk! But the poop talk is SO good.

part-timer - Thank you. And yes. Yes, I am.

Yes, your kids are soo cute! I didn't imagine them with blonde hair.

Actually Fish, the Union army lost both battles at Manassas.

Sorry, I don't mean to correct you and sound all snooty 'n all. I'm just a history buff. :) I've always found history fascinating. Ok, history nerd...history dork...whatever.

Amber, it's not blonde. It's light brown, but it's super-light-reflective, which makes it look almost blonde sometimes. (Did that make sense?)

Ladybug: I love the fact that some of your babies have blue eyes, and some brown eyes. Our babies are like that. One has very blue eyes, the other two have brown eyes.

Fish: in an effort to be PC, what about womanasses and manboobs?

CK, was that the War of 1812?

Circus Kelli: I have brown eyes, hubby has blue. Older daughter has blue, younger daughter has brown. Baby son was the tiebreaker. His have turned into the most beautiful blue I've ever seen. (Not captured very well in that photo.)

Is my comment thingy still not working?

that's great about your dad.

and i must say...you're hair is long! is that a recent picture?

Here's mine!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/cherry_memphis/P1010119.jpg

I totally self portraited my hot ass.

I liked her stickers too. i let my kids put pre approved sticker son things. Mymom would never let me. So take THAT mom!

kool glasses kerry :) Lenscrafters?

Mrs. Strizzay,

Yep, I do looked pissed off, don't I? But the funny thing was, I wasn't. I think my face automatically goes into "camera mode" whenever I get pictures taken of myself. "Camera mode" ranges from 'pissed off' to 'retard'.

Ladybug, light brown? oh. I get ya though. I always thought highly reflective hair was pretty, but you better watch out, as it might blind you on sunny days.

I let little Patrick play with stickers, but I lucked out and he doesn't have that insatiable need that I had as a child to stick them on every inanimate object in the house. He did, however, place a Squidward sticker on the remote control. Men of all ages seem to have to stake their claim to the remote, don't they?

Oh Nathan you look so happy!! Congrats!

I hate group activities, but click on my name for a gander at my self-portrait.

Katie B: At least he didn't pee on the remote to mark his territory like animals do! :)

Striz baby, hey, you put it out there on the internet and people are gonna look, ok?!

Anne, you are way cuter than Velma from Scooby Doo. That chick always annoyed the crap out of me - always taking credit for what Scoob and Shaggy accomplished. I always hated her magnifying glass.

Nathan, awesome picture! Congrats

Ladybug and Circus Kelli, you girls think alike! haha, yeah I will definitely look at that Squidward sticker a little differently from now on. Thank goodness the little guy hasn't discovered the art of urinating to mark his territory.

Do you even read these things anymore, Doocey? I mean, really?

Tip for the masses: Do not sleep in hot rollers. It hurts, you don't much sleep and you wake up looking like that poodle from Oliver & Company. Ya know, the one Bette Midler does the voice for?

Anyway... so how's the fam?

Although with the way his father doesn't seem to mind when his pee misses the toilet bowl, maybe I better a keep an eye out for Little Patrick.

Have you ever had that moment when you look at yourself, or a picture of yourself, and realize that you don't look quite as good as you've always thought? Where you think something like, "WHAT IS WITH MY NEVERENDING GUMS?! Am I storing GUMS for the winter, or WHAT?"

Yeah, neither had I......

I almost cried for you when I read what your father told you. No matter what, parents are ALWAYS proud of their kids accomplishments and, trust me, he has them coming out of the blackhole for you. :)

Canadian Amy and your zit - LMAO!! That's something I'd do.

Dooce : Now with more oozing

Nathan Logan- that was f'ing funny. Thankyou.

Are those orange roses in the background? Perhaps a Valentines' bouquet? I love orange roses-- maybe it's from my clemson days- always a tiger :-)

Striz, you do look totally 80's

Striz, you definitely carry off the 80's look with much class. I don't like that the name of your blog is The Fat Housewife, though. You look awesome!

I gave you teeth...SHOW THEM WHEN YOU SMILE!

God,
Bite my ass.
I have dentata where I want them. You can wait til hell freezes over for a smile.

Thanks Kristine, for bringing up chocolate and I am trying to lose weight. Way to be there.

LMAO!

My self portrait, Jena style! (Scroll to Feb 13th)

you all need to bring it here:

http://www.mirrorproject.com/

If you click on my name it will take you to my blog, where there is a picture of my alter-ego, the vampire Estefania!

my lovely hubby told me to always look directly in the lens and my pics have come out much better since then, not that you arent beautiful enough. I dont want to critizise(sp????) because I admire you soo much but that was the first thing that sprung into my head about this picture. You are a great mom and have made me look forward to being one also. though i am damn scared of getting off meds and those non pill periods. much more scared than lack of meds. no xanex while pregnant huh? seems like you would need it then most. but never been there so will wait and see and take it as it comes.

it's not artsy if she smiles. if she smiles she's just some goofy chic taking a picture of herself in the mirror and that's not cute or funny unless you're drunk.

oh yeah - dont worry about smiling. thats not what self portraits are about. its about capturing the real me, which isnt always fucking smiling - but thats just me :-)

Screw it - i was #222!!!

Still think you look like Madonna, Heather. In a good way. As my little itty bitty niece says, "pret-ty."

Lil momma show how you do it
go head put ya back into it

Bucky, were your boyfriends hot with shiny cameros?

Striking photo Heather.

To all of you that demand a smiley shot -- I'd much rather see a photo of someone just being themselves that plastering on a fake smile in some knee-jerk 'say CHEESE' response to a camera.

Dooce has striking features and doesn't need a smile to make it fabulous.

Call me particular but I'd never date a woman who'd kick the ass of the woman I was currently dating. A dude has rules..

Wednesday must be the day for black turtlenecks! I'm wearing one too :)

Striz: Does that mean next Wednesday all of our pictures should have us posing like Captain Morgan? :)

Oh, by the way, you were the girl in high school that I was always intimidated by, and I still think you could totally kick my ass but I can be all brave and shit now because you are so far away in New York and not anyway near me.

Striz -- they were cute, but it was more like their parents' Nova. I had to get the Camaro myself later. I luv me some Camaros.

mg2: *sob* Now you've put me back in therapy.

Dang: Good rule. The dudes in my high school did not have rules. Just tiny pee pees.

Okay, that's all bullshit. Girls did not beat me up and steal my boyfriends in high school because I DID NOT have any boyfriends in high school. All my male friends were, well, not innarested in someone with girl parts, know whut I mean?

I was pretty mean in high school. I once wrote a paper about how to kill your English teacher, because she was making me write a stupid ass paper. I changed the name and sex, WTF! AHhaha.

The principals secretary LOVED it. She even wrote to me when I was sent to a girls group home. Oh I was baaaad.

Wow Strizzay, I wouldn't have like to have run into you at that group home.

Strizzay I don't think you look intimidating or the "kick yer ass type". I'm going to agree to disagree with the herd on that one. The former governer of Utah that dooce showed us a few weeks ago? Thats intimidating and I would totally give that woman my lunch money.

I also drive a camaro...vrooooooooom vrooooooooom screeeeeeeeeeech

*dang cold pulls up with the T-roof down*

Nice self portraits everyone. Especially Girl A! I instinctually slapped my iBook when I saw that sweet ass staring back at me. Now my hand is hurt. Looks like it will have to be "Lefty" tonight. Thanks Girl A, you bitch. =)

Doesn't dooce.com seem to be so much more than a blog?

Anyway, I posted the 'how to add links using blogger' on my run of the mill-ordinary blog for anyone that wants to add links, but doesn't know how.