Phone War
Beth taking a picture of me taking a picture of her with Jon's cell phone. I think it's time I get my own cell phone, but then people could call me and I'm just not ready for that.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. claire said:
me first, or not
2. Marcia said:
love the pictures
3. August95 said:
I always love Camera Wars
4. Jen said:
third!
5. Red said:
Fifth?
6. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Whoa. Is that a nightvision phone?
Wait 'til Nikon makes a camera phone, Heather. That'll be the one for you.
7. Badger said:
Whoa, Beth looks kind of evil there.
8. Jen said:
Cell phones are like annoying kids in restaraunts. When you see them, you say to yourself, "My kids will never be like that."
But then you have kids and realize that they're just like that, or get a cell phone and find yourself calling someone because you just had to tell something you didn't get to five minutes ago when you were eating lunch together.
(I lied, I was 4th.)
9. laura copeland said:
scary...
10. Cristin said:
Dear Dang,
heh heh heh
:)
11. Joana said:
Where's the Litle Lady? We want more Leta, lots of her! :)
12. David said:
8th, 9th ... don't mind, just a pleasure to be here.
13. Kristen said:
I agree with Jennifer in KC - wait until they come out with one that had better quality. (that being said the above picture is pretty good!)
14. Joana said:
Sorry, I meant "little", obviously. Give us more Leta, okay?
15. sweetney said:
this may very well be the only picture ever taken of beth that manages to make her look sinister.
no mean feat, spanky.
16. Ronda said:
I love taking random pictures with my phone.
17. Superplum said:
I concur with the nightvisionness. Are they in Special Ops or something? I kind of like it though. It makes Dooce and Beth look dangerous.
18. Teja said:
16th? Wow what the hell is up with all the first comments? It's just as worse here as is over at /. (eh. maybe not)
19. Cristin said:
good point, sweetny, she almost looks mean.
20. Gia said:
I love how your last post (the one about the anal..) was right beside a Google ad for Mormon Stories.
I'm all about the humour...
21. Cassie said:
...I agree with the comment mentioned above about waiting. They probably have something all designed and ready to go that trumps anything and everything else. But, of course, they're waiting for what's "new" to sell and then the next version will be released.
Cynical? A bit..
But anyway, interesting picture!
22. Nomad said:
I've been torn over whether or not to get a cell phone with a camera. The thought alone is tempting, but I have a camera. Several actually... yet the cell phone cameras call out to me.
I'm not a big cell phone talker. It makes me uncomfortable. Somehow, if I could take pictures, it seems to me it would make up for the lack of talking on the cell phone.
I don't know.
23. Mir said:
Hmmm, I'm hard-pressed to determine which looks more sinister: Beth's face, or the perspective-enlarged camera-gripping fingers in the left of the frame. Eeeek!
24. Wicked H said:
With all the recent fame ( and hopefully fortune) you may need to avoid the cell phone. Good call Dooce.
25. Kassi said:
Yay...fighting!
26. Em said:
She looks so determined!
27. Stephen McKenna said:
"I make cellphone calls every day with a 'Dooce branded phone'."
28. wendyinBC said:
wow..there's only been 26 commenters..usually by this time the Dooce is up to 100ish..I guess Heather's figured out how to make us all be very, very quiet...mention ANAL SEX...
29. Stephen McKenna said:
Just think, with a cellphone you could call people from ANY TOILET IN THE WORLD!
30. Maeby said:
I thought it was someone toking up... before i read the bottom i mean. heck yes
31. Superplum said:
wendyinBC
Maybe everone's sleeping off their anal-filled Friday night.
32. Superplum said:
Ha! Anal-filled.
33. kerewin said:
I love the graininess (is that a word?) of those phone photos. It reminds me of some black and white film I bought in Prague. How I wish I could get more of that film!
Wow, how did I start talking about myself? Looks like it was a fun morning!
34. Teresa said:
cell phones bring pain. just don't.
35. Dang Cold... said:
I'm so not first...
36. Lala said:
I hope the lateness of the post means you're sleeping in on weekends.
37. Danielle said:
ugh. I really don't like the photo quality of camera phones.
While it seems like it might be fun to have the option of someone's pic pop up when they are calling you, trying to use the camera function in place of a 'real' camera is just ... well...
not pleasant.
38. Danielle said:
sorry, popping, not pop
me speak good.
39. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My husband and I keep one of those pre-paid joints just so whomever is out and about can be reached or get help if need be. We don't really socialize so no worries of folks calling.
40. that-andrea said:
I love checking in here and seeing the photo of the day! Just came back from walking dogs at the shelter and picking up their poop, so the conversation here (as usual) is tying in nicely with my day so far... POOP!
41. Manic said:
My first camera phone actually took pretty good pictures; as a phone, well it sucked, then died. So now I have one that is a great phone, but the camera part - - - well, let's just say it's a good thing that I didn't pay for it!
42. gardens grey said:
Funny picture. You have to let us know if your dad read that post. Poor dad. ;)
43. beckythefirst said:
wait, i'm confused. where does the extra camera come from then, if you're taking a pic of her taking a pic of you? hmmmmmmmmm... don't mind me. it's still early here, my left eye is bugging me, and i have nothing else to do until i can open it fully.
44. emily said:
"the Leaning Tower of Penis"
*spew Diet Coke on monitor"
"like one of those signs in the yard that keeps leaning over to one side"
*choke and splutter so loudly cat runs from room"
"in an Elmo voice"
*collapse onto floor and cackle maniacally*
Woo! I think this is in my Top 5 All-Time Dooce Posts. Tell it, sister! :)
45. Heatheranne said:
Nah, you don't need your own cell phone. You can just steal Jon's all the time the way my husband steals mine ALL THE TIME!
46. brodie said:
Well, I personally find it really FUNNY and not at all IRONIC that heather has choosen to talk about anal sex just minutes MINTUES i tell you! after being national recognized. I wonder, is this an attempt at keeping readership down? And wasn't that a book about humping rabbits? Readership Downs?
47. disurbonce said:
So, it's me looking at you looking at Beth who's taking a picture of you taking a picture of her so that I could look at her. Stop the madness!
48. so, completely off topic, but said:
i got threaded yesterday. anyone ever done that? it hurts like a BITCH.
49. Dang Cold.. said:
lala - as superplum says. I was sleeping of my anal-filled friday night.
50. heather said:
you just need to think of it as a camera with other annoying features. you don't need to answer it.
51. courtney said:
People can only call you, Dooce, if you give them the number. Just keep that in mind...
52. Dang Cold.. said:
Okay maybe I'm blind but in that dark, grainy pic of sinister beth, is there not a *slight* hint of Ozzy Osbourne? She does look lovely in pics though with that big beautiful smile of hers.
*mama I'm comin' home*
53. RichardZ.com said:
53rd!
54. Jaia said:
She looks like the Mona Lisa, gone mad with the power of modern technology.
55. Library Girl said:
Silly Girls :)
56. Sharon said:
Courtney, have you ever tried to keep a cell phone number from a mother who is desperately hurt that you won't even give your cell phone number TO YOUR OWN MOTHER?
57. copy_kitty said:
off topic:
Threaded? As in the body-modification procedure? Or am I missing some obscure reference to A-1 and anal sex?!
58. Dang Cold.. said:
Then the key is not to tell mummy that you have a cell phone. Turn it off and hide it during family gatherings.
59. hey paul said:
The key is not getting a cell phone at all.
60. Dang Cold.. said:
yes...or that
61. Carla Beth said:
I threw my cell phone away two years ago. Literally chucked in the trash. One reason is that I constantly had this piercing ear pain. It started when I started using a cell phone and stopped within a week of throwing it away. The doctor I spoke with said it's a coincidence. Apparently lots of people are having this experience ... and their doctors are telling them the same thing! Becareful with those darn phones.
62. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I've been looking so long at this picture of you that I almost believe that it's real.
63. Seven said:
64th! I think that's the closest to first I've ever been.
64. Meggan said:
Dang Cold (52), I see the Ozzy reference. Which is weird, because I woke up to Ozzy on the radio this morning. I think it's a sign.
65. Meggan said:
Not that Beth actually looks like Ozzy, because she doesn't.
66. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Heather you have a long ass tongue. And that comment in no way references your anal post. Seriously.
67. Mrs.Strizzay said:
And now when sick bastards google A1 and anal they will find there way here. UGH I HATE all these "fat housewife sex" google freaks. For real.
68. Dang Cold.. said:
yeeeeeesh!!!
69. Alaska Danielle said:
I agree with you, Danielle. I had posted to my blog a few days ago that I *officially* don't like camera phone images. Isn't it just as easy to carry an actual camera around? I do. The images usually look grainy and have a distinct stalker vibe.
Then again, I'm not overly enthused with our cell phone-based society, and I got rid of mine three years ago when my road trip was over, so I may be biased.
70. kater said:
Oh my your post today made me laugh out loud. In the office, at work. Sooo funny! "Mom, how do you toss a salad?" -- priceless.
71. T. K said:
Dooce, I'd like to call you, we could chat over hot-buttered scones and curse the world straigh to hell.
72. Andrea in Canada said:
I laughed...oh I laughed! Dooce, my dad would just drop down on the floor in heart failure if he read that about me! OR YOU! LOL
73. SueFromOhio said:
Just so you know, you and Gene Simmons have got to have the longest frickin' tongues on the entire planet. You should dress up like him for Halloween...then dress up Jon as one of your 'female' groupie types...I'll bet he looks real good in a skirt...hehehee
74. Andrea in Canada said:
Wait, how many Andrea's are there now? LOL..I've lost track...of course not of me...I always know which Andrea I am.
Wendy, where in BC? I'm on the island.
75. Moxie said:
Your ex boyfriend gives a whole new meaning to "please pass the Grey Poupon".
76. jelene said:
"if you blow on a penis, will it blow up like a balloon?" wondering that when i was like 12...
SUCK not blow... and don't blow in a vagina, or she will get air in her blood vessels and explode. that's gross.
77. Dang Cold.. said:
Whats all this about heathers tongue and why wasn't I notified?!?!? I've clearly missed something.
Andrea in Canada - vancouver island is stunning!!! You're lucky as heck...
78. The Mighty Jimbo said:
i log in once from patagonia and i get a story about blow jobs and anal sex.
you almost make me miss socal. almost.
this heather, this is why i love your site so.
hasta from the tip off the world.
79. BJT said:
You're not into kinky sex with motorized objects? Oh my vibrator is mine and my husbands best friend. Happy times!
80. the niffer said:
Patagonia? Mighty Jimbo, tell us more!
81. jensplace said:
For copy kitty -
Threaded is a form of eyebrow hair removal. thread is woven through the hairs and yanked. Wax or thread, that mess HURTS!!!
82. woman lover said:
I have been totally vindicated. Awhile ago, when Heather discussed the "reconvening of the procedure", I suggested anal sex for women recovering from labor, and people jumped all over me for that.
Now look at the posting from yesterday. SHE IS INTO ANAL SEX!!!
Hey beach gal and others, I accept your apologies.
83. Dang Cold.. said:
woman lover - I just backtracked to the posts you're referring to. I'll agree that I didn't find your posts back then offensive and deserving of some of the responses you were hit with. I'm really not sure what set everyone off. However, I don't see where Heather says "she's into anal sex" in yesterdays post. She finishes by saying there are secrets she needs to keep from us. That's all. Neither confirmed or denied.
84. Dang Cold.. said:
You held a grudge since September? About what complete strangers said to you in the comments section of a website? Please, please let it go. It really is a small matter.
85. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I jus want to know the gory nasty sweaty details of yo and "Jack". Email me.
86. Terri said:
I hate cell phones! I have to carry one for work as I'm on call 24/7 (I charter private jets) but everytime it rings (well, it doesn't actually 'ring' of course it 'plays' some reggae type song) I cringe. I don't understand people who are addicted to their cell phones - and TEXT MESSAGING - what is up with that!!?!? I just don't get it.
Btw my Dad died this week. I wrote about it on my blog if anyone cares to read it. I was very close to him, he was only 67 and I'm completely heartbroken that he is gone. Part of his last words to me were "if I can just get over this hump..." So sad.
87. MrsDoF said:
Dang Cold (#77) there are pictures over the Beth's blog at
http://www.crazyus.com/
the grown-ups had a get-together at The Red Iguana without the children
88. Dang Cold.. said:
I solute you Madame....
89. Becky said:
Are you sure it's Beth? It looks like Meatloaf. I can almost see paradise by the dashboard light...
90. Meat L. said:
Praying for the end of time, that's all that I can do (hoo hoo), praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you . . .
91. Susie said:
Terri, so sorry. You're right, your daddy was a looker, and so accomplished, too. I hope you're OK. Peace to you.
92. Andrea in Canada said:
Terri
Very sorry to hear about your dad. You are in my thoughts today.
93. Henryk_ Sun@1146AMSydney time said:
If this is an example of the quality of phone pics............forget it!
94. La Pixiatrix said:
I like this photo, but then I like grainy photos, not more than crystal clear photos - but they are interesting images anyway.
I like a little mystery. Photos that are taken with the same amount of clarity, from the same perspective with the same amount of detail don't have the same allure. One of my favorite cameras to this day is the 12 dollar polaroid 600 land camera I bought in 1984.
Art can be lots of different things to different people. A grainy photo may be more evocative of a memory or feeling than one that's crystal clear.
95. copy_kitty said:
jensplace:
OH! That threading. I've heard that's a really old way to remove unwanted body hair used by all sorts of ancient cultures.
The fact that I thought it was some freakish body mod ritual tells you something about me and my twisted mind, eh?
96. copy_kitty said:
And to Terri:
So very sorry to hear about your dad. Don't be afraid to crumple up into a little ball for as long as you need to — this is not the time to "be strong." It's a huge loss. And your dad must have been an AMAZING man, given his full and accomplished life.
97. honestyrain said:
phones with cameras. whatever happened to just using them to talk?
(the voice of my inlaws said that)
98. Jenn said:
Weird! Two of the girls and work and I had the funnest camera phone war today. We were laughing so hard. Then we realized we were acting queer and stopped. We're easily amused.
99. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Sweet lactatin' mother Mary, I go away for a couple of days, and this place goes all "A-1 bottle up the ass" without me?
Now I want a steak salad.
100. Dang Cold.. said:
mary and joseph what just happened!?!?!?
101. La Pixiatrix said:
AWESOME stark new masthead - and the footer *DORK* is classic.
102. copy_kitty said:
Dang Cold.. (two dots tonight) and La Pixiatrix:
What am I missing? I refreshed the dooce.com home page? New masthead?!
103. trinity said:
nice! love the red and black
104. Kaiasmom said:
I love the new masthead and colors..red adn black suit you lol....
105. copy_kitty said:
On the subject of cell phones.
My husband and I only use cell phones. And only to talk. I've become EXTREMELY attached to my b+w screen, no camera, etc.
It's a phone, and I want to TALK on it.
(We both have laptops, so we can Wi-Fi in most places these days. Plus, we own our own advertising agency, and have never received an email that actually constituted a life-threatening emergency.)
But I can see the writing on the wall. My next phone is going to be all crazy. Full o' useless features. And maybe even able to SEND ME MESSAGES BASED ON MY LOCATION.
Big Brother, anyone?
Did I mention that I just want to talk on the damn thing?!
sigh
106. Christine said:
how retarded am I, that it took me forever to get the masthead?
107. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Shouldn't it be Doorc?
108. Cristin said:
fantastic
109. woman lover said:
Dear Dang Cold
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. Thank you very much.
As to dooce and anal sex, why would she even mention that if she wasn't. The hint is way to strong to conclude that she does not engage in it.
110. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Personally I want to see a masthead that mimics those project runway people. Like the scary one with crazy hair and blue eyeshadow. Wendy? Have Beth make you up to look just like her and do the damn thang.
111. Dang Cold.. said:
*huge gulp of vodka*
another neil young tune anyone?
112. Rachael said:
Has anyone else clicked on the 'Stick your nose in' google ad (right underneath the 'fart machine' ad)? Those things are - ahem - an interesting look.
113. Caroline said:
I totally would've taken the panty puppy.
114. Spuriousplum said:
Dang Cold,
How about Wigwam? No words, yeah!
115. wendyinBC said:
Andrea In Canada -
I'm in Vancouver!! I wonder if there's a lot of Canadian Dooce fans...(two or more would be Canadian Deece??).mmwhahaha..um..hello..is this thing on??
116. Dang Cold.. said:
Spuriousplum
thats a bob dylan tune :P
117. rockandrollchick said:
Oh boy, did I need a laugh tonight (or a cry), and you delivered Heather. I have 28 kids coming for a 7th birthday party tomorrow and this just de-stressed me for a second. Thanks.
118. cottoncandygirl1 said:
a very big part of me wants you to have that pink pup at VS. I'll have to see if they have one on display at the store near me.
119. Andrea in Canada said:
Wendy, I know there is one other for sure and a girlfriend of mine reads the site and has posted once and she is also in Victoria....*Shan in Victoria*. There are *DEECE* out there! LOL
Oh Heather, what have you done? YOu have created DEECE!!
120. Andrea in Canada said:
Oh ....NEW masthead! (is that what it's called?) Great job! Your eyes?
Me: the wanna be blogger because I love to write but too nervous to even know where to start....
121. Andrea in Canada said:
Next time take the panty puppy but run like heck when you see the A1 Steak Sauce coming out of the refridgerator. JUST GET OUTTA THERE!
122. beckythefirst said:
THE MIGHTY JIMBO! good to see you! looks like your trip is going well. those were some awesome glacier pics, dude.
123. Em said:
My what a noir new masthead you have. Sexy!
124. Andrea in Canada said:
Ada is from Victoria as well! Where has she gone? We emailed each other once.
125. Mrs.Strizzay said:
WTF between three camera whores no picture of the panty puppy? (That wasn't an insult. sheesh. Why is it that all smart ass friendly remarks have to be noted as such?)
126. christine said:
I wonder how many panty puppies Dooce is going to end up with by the end of this month? I guess six.
127. Dang Cold.. said:
Southern Man - Neil Young
Southern man
better keep your head
Don't forget
what your good book said
Southern change
gonna come at last
Now your crosses
are burning fast
Southern man
I saw cotton
and I saw black
Tall white mansions
and little shacks.
Southern man
when will you
pay them back?
I heard screamin'
and bullwhips cracking
How long? How long?
Southern man
better keep your head
Don't forget
what your good book said
Southern change
gonna come at last
Now your crosses
are burning fast
Southern man
Lily Belle,
your hair is golden brown
I've seen your black man
comin' round
Swear by God
I'm gonna cut him down!
I heard screamin'
and bullwhips cracking
How long? How long?
128. copy_kitty said:
Dang Cold.. (still two dots):
You know, I am a Neil Young fan.
129. Henryk_ Sun@1802Sydney time said:
..........still searching for that heart of gold????
130. Henryk_ Sun@1802Sydney time said:
Midnigh......the witching hourrrrrrrrr
131. copy_kitty said:
Heather:
Your new flag was fabu! (It's back to the old one on my screen—technical problems, I imagine.)
And "DORK" is like an exclamation point at the end of your page.
Yes!
132. Super Turtle Girl said:
Someone prolly wrote this above but: Don't give anyone your cell phone number. I don't. And don't call anyone else's cell phone. That's how my parents got my number.
133. max said:
Looks like it a site of guys who making money showing they "underwear".
In our they they want be fired, just bitted and I think with legs to.
134. Shiz said:
That photo is very, very cool. As is the new design. ROCK. ON.
135. mg2 said:
PINK PANTY BELLY RUBS?! Uppercase GOD, you've finally heard my prayers.
136. Sarah M said:
You have Victorias secret! I am so jealous. We have no such thing over here in Australia and it saddens me greatly. *loves VS*
Like the new b/g too btw.
137. becca said:
I seriously think everyone has one of these photos in their cell phone. It's like back in the early 90's, where EVERY family who had a video camera had footage of that dad filming another video camera dad, and they're laughing about how clever they are. Heh.