First Secty
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Christi said:
first?
2. Lauren said:
Oooh, beautiful
3. Ginger said:
Cool
4. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Oooo priddy lites
5. doly said:
looks like First??!!
6. Kristin said:
Haha.
7. LisaG said:
Good Morning Internet! (and Lesley & Rebecca @UWM)
8. jules said:
but it's the last secty you have youw atch out for.. they're evil!
(:3
9. jules said:
but it's the last secty you have youw atch out for.. they're evil!
(:3
10. Jodie said:
Wow! only 3 comments! I haven't seen that in a long time. Beautiful pic of Leta this weekend.
Congrats Mom!
11. heidi said:
Good morning!
12. Christi said:
I hate it when they don't replace the lights in signs. It also drives me nuts when the letters fall out of the signs and they never fix them. Tacky, tacky.
13. Anita said:
Ohhh! I was hoping for more Leta Choco pix!
14. Mal said:
Do it, Heather. Charge a nickel per comment -- I'm telling you, w/ all the new NYT exposure, you'll need the help to support your bandwith.
I'd gladly pay. Others would, too.
15. Dazed & Confuzed said:
I just realized - the reason the U, the R and the I are covered is because BATMAN IS STANDING THERE! I didn't know Salt Lake City had the same nefarious criminals as Gotham. In fact, I'll bet Dooce even goes around fighting crime (when she's not blogging, taking care of Leta, charming everyone on the information superhighway) and deflects bullets with her bracelets! Damn, Dooce, you sure can keep a secret!
16. Bekah said:
Hrm. I'd rather see a picture of Leta or Chuckles.
17. Ehle said:
Only a madman would choose that font for a sign.
18. Pissy Britches said:
REPLACE the lights..gawd..I so hate that. It is annoying. Unless it says something funny..then it's ok.
19. laura copeland said:
FIRST
(*my* first comment, anyway)
20. That's funny Mal said:
Since you've only commented twice under that name - and both in 2002.
21. gwen said:
Neat picture. It looks like the words are just hovering there in the sky.
although, I have to agree with Christi, drives me nuts when places don't replace broken bulbs. Is this one broken or is there a telephone pole in front of the word?
22. Chris S said:
Red means bad weather
23. Kristi said:
Reminds me of College, there was a Cardinal OT L in the city.
24. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
I liked when the Pizza Hut back in college had their "T" stolen..... they'll always be Pizza HU to me. (say it with FEELING! and a Tai-chi KICK!)
25. Carol said:
is that SLC? I like the lampposts.
26. Annie said:
Nice picture
27. saralynnmo said:
Whoah, that's kind of creepy that someone cares enough to investigate how much another reader has commented. (shivers)
28. kim said:
jeah, what's up with that font?
also - good morning america. only two more hours of work for me here in germany and then tuesday's over. HA!
29. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
As Fat Bastard would say, "Ah'm deeeead secty!"
30. Kaiasmom said:
Great Pic!!! I agreee it looks liek the words are just floating in the sky. i don't think it's a lightpole or we'd be able to see it, because it'd be on....
31. anonymous said:
The most memorable sign with lights out that I've seen was a Super Stop and Shop that read: Super Stop and Ho. Eek.
32. Dazed & Confuzed said:
I love Bucky Four-Eyes
33. URI said:
Bwah ha ha hahaahaa, you'll neever cutch me Batman! I shtole ze letters that make up moy name, da?
World Domination awaits!!
Love, URI "NEbodies fool"
34. Scott said:
I had a 1984 Buick LeSabre in college (party wagon) and part of the "k" fell off making it look like an "I". So we called it the "Buici: Imported Italian Luxury Mobile". I loved that land boat! I was like riding in a Laz-E-Boy on wheels.
35. kim said:
"super stop and ho" -- that's funny.
36. Girl.A said:
oooooo, Babay, I am secty.
That picture makes me feel like a seccccccty seccccccty beeeyotch.
And a little insecure.
37. red said:
we had a huge sign here during the holidays, and it read "season's gretigs" :)
38. Southern Fried Girl said:
Very beautiful pic but does not beat chocolate covered Leta!!!
39. fox said:
What's missing from secty?
UR. (I, too)
40. Colleen from NJ said:
It looks like a message from Satan:
only his followers understand the code. So WHO HERE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS? HMMMM? SPEAK UP.
41. Michelle Brady said:
That reminds me of the signs churches put out around here that say
"CH CH-- what's missing? U R!"
Interesting coincidence that the letters U and R are actually missing. So is I, but there aren't any cool church signs that make use of a missing I.
Hmm. It's early. I'll think on that.
42. Colleen from NJ said:
Holy smokes, fox, that is brilliant!
43. Amanda B. said:
Hotpants- you gave up one of the most powerful weapons in a single dudes arsenal? The Hooptie aka. Luv Mobile. You have much to learn Grasshopper.
Girl A.- BP returning to normal. You *are* a sexy bitch.
44. m said:
In Morgantown, WV, the Hotel Morgan would run into the same problem with outages- it would spell Hot Organ instead. So that's how most people referred to it.
45. Kimberly said:
Poor Dooce can't win. Post pics of Leta and she's 'self absorbed,' post cool pics of other things and people and people post saying they want pics of Leta.
See, I LOVE this pic...especially the font on the building. You don't see much of that font anymore, unless it's on the front page of a newspaper. Plus it's pretty ironic that a word like "Security" can't be relied upon to be lit all the time...Hee!
46. shaunacat said:
kim - stop making us jealous about your workday being almost over! ;o)
I love the look of the lights on the dark background of this picture. Of course I do prefer pictures of the family, but this is pretty too!
47. closet metro said:
Dazed & Bucky - LOL
48. Z said:
-laugh- another excellent photo.
Is there some sort of prize for being first? Because the first comment is ALWAYS super-lame, consisting of someone asking if they're first to post.
49. Shazza said:
its already well into Wednesday Miss Germany, get with the times girlfriend *snaps fingers and pouts*
just messing with ya. Looks like the red parts are the devils horns on a black face, his three pronged tail the lampost.
go figure but not sure if I'D be hiring any security services from these people...
50. Jaia said:
But what is that little white flying speck in the background? Hmmm?
Well, it wouldn't be so weird having aliens in Salt Lake. We've already got Mormons here.
51. fox said:
but my *all time favorite* lights-out sign was the ratty gas station next to one of my college apartment complexes.
For a coupla days, I lived next to a VILLAGE PANTY. :o)
52. LadyBug said:
Bucky Four-Eyes - You crack me up.
Dazed & Confuzed - "...and deflects bullets with her bracelets!"
Now that's just silly. You _know_ she deflects those bullets with that big, beautiful geek watch of hers!
Cool pic, Dooce.
53. Shlee said:
One of the grocery stores where I live is called County Market. For a week, the "O" was out, spelling out a name of a market that I don't think I'd like to visit.
I think that when a burnt out letter makes a distasteful word, they're usually pretty quick to replace it. We had a good laugh everytime we drove past it though. Good times. (man i need to move to a bigger city)
54. Sue From Ohio said:
That's funny. We had a tire place here that was missing the 'e' so I would always say, 'Look, it's the "TUR" store' and my husband would get mad because practically everyone that lives in my town has an accent...
55. Dazed & Confuzed said:
My bad, LadyBug. And I forgot to mention she stops unarmed criminals with a stern "mamma" look.
56. beachgal said:
Looks kinda eerie, the words just seem to be floating. Of course, we KNOW they are on a building, but you can't see it!
Neat shot, Dooce.
57. Butternut said:
Two things:
Shlee -- in my grandmother's hometown of Prentiss, Mississippi, there really is a family restaurant called the "Kuntry Kitchen." And, sadly, no letters are missing from the sign.
Everyone -- I teach third grade, and every single morning after the opening bell rings, my kids dash into the room, just in case they can be the ones to call FIRST! when others arrive. It's all very much like the comments section on Dooce. I have a little inside chuckle every day at 8:55.
58. Shazza said:
most of those aforementioned criminals become quivering messes at the sight of her chocolate weilding finger aimed right at them! DUH!
59. Jason said:
Just to point this out...there were 55 comments when I loaded this page, and in the time it took me to type this and post it...what number am I? Dooce, you have a mad following!
60. julie said:
The KFC in my hometown once posted a sign advertising a "Bucket of wings for Super Bowel." Mmm mmm.
61. Vanessa said:
Mmmm... Nothing like wings to make you "go."
62. bobby said:
sixty-first
63. lulu cornichon said:
The Pep Boys near my house is now "Pepys". I bet all the college kids get a good chuckle out of that one.
And Buici! That's hilarious! I once saw a huge old truck that instead of "FORD" across the tailgate, had "TOFU", with just a few small changes. Good old Virginia hippies. Country enough to drive a giant truck, hippie enough to bring on the soy.
64. bushra said:
make that a mad, bad following. i read all the comments from yesterday this morning, and i'm glad to share a love of dooce.com with all those who kicked Holly's ass.
65. Shop Ho said:
..well at least it wasnt the signs' first R that was missing...Im sure we'd all be against use of "fist security"
make love, not war duuuuude
66. Shlee said:
Butternut: too funny!
67. Dazed & Confuzed said:
We had a neighbor who had a 70's ugly-ass brown Datsun truck. He painted the D and the N the same color as the truck and wrote "Gahzuntite" underneath. Quite clever.
68. Gooooder said:
Seems like businesses would want to fix the broken neon lights as soon as possible.
Otherwise you end up with TOP & HOP or HARMACY or EGMAN'S.
You guys don't have the Wegman's do you? It is such a glorious grocery store!
69. Peace n Love said:
Im lucky enough to drive a "Ford Festi", thanks to vandals ripping off the "va"...and go those VA TOFU hippies, way cool maaan! Pass the joint...
70. Me Now said:
My friend walking past graffiti in high school:
Why would anyone write 'Pen Is?' Pen is what?
71. Jeff said:
Kinda like the post office down the street offering "ELF SERVICE." I keep looking for little tiny postmen in pointy hats.
72. elizabetht said:
first off.. i've been lurking for a while, and i love the site.. you have an amazing way with words and leta is absolutely adorable.
we have a dinky little strip mall near where i went to school called "Middlesex mall" and for the four years i was in college, the sign read "M sex" which led us to shout, "mmmm sex" every time we passed it.
73. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Nice, Me Now. Kinda like going by the chocolate kiosk in the mall and saying "Go, Diva!"
74. Susannah said:
Jeff!! There a an elf Service gas station down the street from my house too. For 6 months now I've only been getting gas there just because I want to see those damn elves and they are never there...
75. Graffitti reader said:
Peace and love, p and l, p'n'l, penal, penile...HA HA!
76. erin said:
In my town, we have a lit Hooters billboard along one of the highways. A lot of the lights have been going out lately, so we're almost down to 'Ho s' now - rather appropriate don't you think? Hahah
77. gordon said:
My personal favorite when I drive through Windsor (small town in Virginia) is the Shell gas station and the light on the "S" has burnt out...I knew Big Oil was evil, but never ever...
78. rhapsody said:
The other night I saw a sign for SunTrust Bank. The S was burned out, making it "unTrust Bank." How apt.
79. Epiphany said:
Omigosh, Butternut!! MY grandmother's hometown was Prentiss, Mississippi too!!! They've since moved away, but while my grandparents lived there, we'd eat at the Kuntry Kitchen every time we went to visit them.
"iiiit's a smaaall worrrld aaaafter allll..."
...and Dooce, you've become a solid part of my morning ritual. I thank you. Love the site, love the pics, loveitloveitloveit.
80. Alice Isnt Well said:
our local eatery, "Farmer Smiffs Chicks" turned into "Fame If Hicks" after the red necks came and flogged the bulbs with rock guns...trust me, they got no fame!
81. Girl.A said:
On my way to salsa class at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education, I used to pass the sign for what the cooking class people were making that night.
One night it read:
mothered Beef Brisket
From the kitchen of Julia Childs
82. Rachel said:
There's a Babies R Us near my house which seems to lose the "i" almost every week.
Babes R Us. Sounds like a brothel.
83. Carol said:
GirlA - did you ever see the "Live Poultry, Fresh Killed" sign on Cambridge Ave? That one always cracked us up!
84. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
"mothered Beef Brisket"?
Does that mean it was soaked in breast milk before it went in the oven?
85. Matt in London said:
Would you trust a company that can't be arsed to ensure that it's own signs were working??
Personally I like adding the letter 'i' to the middle of all the 'to let' signs on the houses around our way.
86. CanadianAmy said:
Here's what the local rascals did at our nearby dollar store:
It WAS
SUPREME DISCOUNT
Then they took out a few letters:
U R E C UNT
It lasted less than a day, then you saw the little chinese owner guy out there fixing it.
87. Amanda B. said:
Matt- "can't be arsed". Is that a Britishism? I love it.
88. LadyBug said:
Aw, Dooce. Your "Goddess of Love" post made me cry a little. Of course, I'm all PMSing and whatnot. *sniff*
89. Mari said:
Canadianarmy, that's hilarious. I hope you got a picture of that before they fixed it.
90. Kano said:
The head of security is also the guy in charge of changing the bulbs.
91. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said:
Heather said:
"How about you just rip my heart out of my body and stretch it around my head and then back under my butt, IT WAS THAT SPECTACULAR."
Oh, I love it when you make me laugh like this Heather. You brizz-ighten my day!
92. CanadianAmy said:
I didn't get a pic, Mari. I always miss the boat on stuff like that.
I did call friends in my neighborhood and told them to go see it though. And my nine year old learnt himself a brand new word that day.
93. Erin H. said:
CanadianAmy-
That reminds me of when my friends and I were fifteen. We used to run around town during the wee hours doing sign re-arranging. My favorite was "Enjoy a trip to the moon, only $87947697694763!" by our local crappy diner.
We also drew hula hoops on the pedestrians on the pedestrian crossing signs. I guess we could have been worse.
94. Cathi said:
I hate these artistic types of pictures. They make me feel stoopid because I don't get them. What does it MEAN?
Dooce - Baby hugs are awesome, and kisses aren't so far behind (I'm talking about the open-mouthed, tongue and slobber all over the face kisses - mine insists on getting each cheek). Once you think you couldn't melt any more.
95. The Wife said:
As a teenager we (my friends & I) would steal drivers side windshield wipers. As well as gas caps. We would also move realestate signs. We were bastards.
96. Robyn said:
Someone should knock out the "y".
97. Annejelynn said:
Theses thoughts... how does one formulate these kinds of ODD thoughts? oh my - LMAO!
Bucky Four-Eyes said at 09:04AM, 02.01.2005:
“mothered Beef Brisket�
Does that mean it was soaked in breast milk before it went in the oven?
98. ella's ma said:
After college, I lived in Fresno for a short time. We always used to joke that it wasn't hell but you could see it from there. One night I was driving out of town and in the next town over the Shell station along the freeway had the S out on it's sign. I've never laughed so hard.
99. Annejelynn said:
Erin H. and CanadianAMy -- in H.S. some friends and myself went around town painting red dots on all the deer crossing/warning signs...
was absolutely AWESOME when later that week I was driving w/ my father (recall I was in trouble and had been sent off with him to run errands --neither of us were talking to one another) and he saw one of the 'rudolph' signs, and he totally busted out laughing... the mood in the car took a 180 and we spent the afternoon teasing one another, enjoying our errands. I held my tongue and never told him I did it.
100. Girl.A said:
AJ,
Once you start thinking outside the box, it is hard to get the ole brain to get back in the box.
101. Badie said:
Great website, Dooce. I'm fairly new to visiting, but you've got me hooked. One question about your adorable daughter - is her name pronounced "Lay-ta" or "Lee-ta"?
102. flickr said:
did y'all see the pic of dooce on dj blurb's photostream today? i thk its the first of its kind (the first one i've come across?)
103. Annejelynn said:
The Wife said at 09:37AM, 02.01.2005:
As a teenager we (my friends & I) would steal drivers side windshield wipers. As well as gas caps. We would also move realestate signs. We were bastards.
HOW ABOUT THIS!?! I dated a guy who told me that he, in H.S. w/ his friends, would wrap cinder blocks in a grocery bag (paper or plastic, whichever was preferred at the time) and place it in the middle of a driving lane...then they'd sit off to the side, outta sight and watch people RUIN their cars!!! as the unsuspecting driver would just drive right at the seemingly harmless bag... ever since, I always drive AROUND seemingly harmless bags!
104. Annejelynn said:
Lee-ta, like pita - right, everyone???
105. Charlotte said:
As seen in my smallish hometown just before Easter:
Dick Longing Real Estate
He is Risen! Hallelujah!
Yes, Dick Longing is the man's real name. I have pictures.
I missed all the drama last night on the comments. I, too, have suffered lifelong depression, PPD, and have a family history of undiagnosed depression. I can't possibly stress enough the importance of getting help. Bucking the stigma is possibly the most important step in getting help. Dooce has done much to buck the stigma. Keep writing about raising your beautiful daughter in the real world - not a bubble as some would seem to have it.
106. Barbara said:
When my family met my brother-in-law's parents for the first time, we ate at a Black Angus restaurant where the sign was missing its "G." Missing letters can be such fun.
107. Alyssa said:
The "Target" here for the past two weeks has been "get".....
Ugh.
108. karinka said:
I just now realised that I have a friend who was dooced. She is currently suspended from BYU for her blog where she talked about being naked in her room and used swears often. She doesn't keep the blog right now because her parents want her to graduate from BYU, dammit. It makes me sad because I loved reading her musings. I wish she'd hurry up and graduate already so she can write about being dooced at BYU.
109. The Wife said:
Annejelynn- that's just cruel now.
My father-in-law told me a story once how he and his football friends (when he was in H.S) had a horrible teacher who apparently was also very rude to the jocks. She had this tiny tiny car (back in the 60's). So the football players got together, PICKED up her car, up a flight of stairs, into the cafeteria. Awesome. Just awesome.
110. Annejelynn said:
yeah, that guy - SHAMELESS RUINER OF CARS - at the time I was dating him, he STILL thought what he had done was a riot!
I quit going out with him.
111. Tip for findin shit said:
I googled
Dooce leta pronounce*
To get this:
http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/02_09_2004.html
112. CanadianAmy said:
Wow Annejelynn, about the car-wrecker, usually when you 'grow up' you have some shame...good thing you dumped the guy eh.
There are always people who are 'jokers' who think really cruel stuff is a laugh riot.
I knew a guy once who would slip a shitload of laxative powder in a colleagues food at lunch and then laugh his head off when the person when running down the hallway around 3 o clock.
Nice.
113. honestyrain said:
if i posted that pic i would get zero comments. how come that?
114. Shan in Victoria said:
The photo reminded me of the "Waffle Ho" across from our hotel in Atlanta a few years back - they were fixing it by the time we had checked in and got the cameras out though.
The 'waffle ho' had no 'use'
115. Matt in London said:
Amanda B - I have no idea I'm afraid - it's definitely a Mattism tho :-)
116. brando said:
i'm...
too secty for my church
too secty for the gentiles
so secty, it huuuurts
117. becaru said:
There used to be a strip mall in the Detroit area called "Dykeland", due to it's location at 15 Mile and Van Dyke. No lie.
118. Courtney said:
After reading your post today, I think we can definitivel tell that troll who's been bugging you that Leta DOES NOT HAVE AUTISM. Not even close...
(I think I looked at the NYT picture 100 times on Sunday--it's that cute.)
119. becaru said:
Charlote, thank god I'd finished my coffee before reading your comment or I'd be snorting it for sure!
120. Fran said:
Leta is blooming like a beautiful flower!
Go Leta!!!!!
121. LadyBug said:
*brando*
That's just too funny. Here's another verse...
I'm too secty for yo potty
Too secty for yo potty
No way I'm poo-poo dancin'
122. Megan said:
Dooce, you could take a picture of piping hot shit and people would say, "Oooo. Beautiful."
It amuses me.
123. Mark said:
Cool, ya know thanks to you I am buying a Nikon D70 this week.
124. Charlotte said:
Um, I have pictures of the SIGN, that is, not of Dick himself.
125. Cathi said:
Charlotte (#105)
I've known men named Dick Healing and Harry Weiner. Harry works with a different Dick.
It's a shame that Dick has gone out of style as a nickname. It's so much fun.
126. Chloe (is here) said:
* sigh * Really off topic, but I miss GOD. I mean, the Mormon General Authority. And that's an unusual thing for an agnostic. Come back soon, God, okay?
127. Chloe (is here) said:
Waaaaah? I didn't know that if you spaced after an asterick it turned into a little circle quotie thing. Oh, I'm so confused! Does it do that * here, as well? Or only at the beginning of a paragraph? But, it's me who misses god, it's not a quote from someone else.
128. Charlotte said:
Harry Weiner LMAO! Poor guy.
129. CanadianAmy said:
I had a teacher once named
Iona Dick.
130. Carol said:
there's a playing field in Wenham, Ma. called "Harry Ball Field" Someone actually named it that.
131. p-hawk said:
My mother knew someone in college named Ima Junebug. Now who on earth would name their kid "Ima" anything?
132. Amanda B. said:
I can think of plenty of reasons P-hawk: Ima Stud, Ima Lovejoy, Ima McPickle, Ima Cracker....
133. amberlyn said:
OOH OOH, are we talking about funny names? i have one that will win above all others. this gentleman placed an online order with a well-known company that i just happen to work for. and his name? his name is:
pongtip pimpaporn
134. Maybe said:
* But how did you get it to be green?
135. amberlyn said:
hey, i want to try!
* pongtip pimpaporn
136. Dykeland said:
Home to mothered beef roasts and Waffle Hos.
137. We are all Dorks, squared said:
Lets see what else can we do?
138. Dang cold.. said:
I once new a Mike Hunt in University. Poor Guy.
139. mg2 said:
brando, you win the best comment of the fucking MONTH award. I'm still convulsing with laughter over that one.
140. Robyn said:
Heather,
I've emailed you before about my own experiences with PM and depression. I too, suffered from depression before I got pregnant with my daughter. The effects of PM and my regular depression led me to try to take my life. Thankfully it didn't work, but it almost did.
I have NEVER NEVER regreted having Ashley. She is the absolute joy of my life. These typed words can't even begin to convey what I feel about her.
Unfortunately there are quite a few "Holly"s in the world who live their life in some sort of dank and smelly place that resembles the ordor of Ashley's diapers.
I'm not sure they can even experience joy.
I love you Heather and the guts you had sharing your experience with the world has helped me tremendously.
I apologize for all the spelling errors! :-)
141. Bess said:
There was a guy in my class with the name Richard (aka: Dick) Head.
He lived up to his name.
142. LadyBug said:
I went to Junior High with a guy named Cass Grabber. Now WHY would parents do something like that to their child?
143. We are all Dorks, squared said:
My Aunt teaches kindergarten in Idaho and there is a boy in her class names RACE CARR. Yeah, wtf is right.
144. curiouskiwi aka Brenda said:
Ah, First Security... I worked with them for a few months back in 1993 when they were changing over one of their banking systems. I had to fly out to SLC (always on Delta) about five times. The best part about that assignment was being able to go skiing at Alta. What powder!!! Thanks Dooce for the memories.
145. Wendy said:
Our police chief was Les Balls. :\
146. Scott said:
Moving real estate signs in to peoples yards so it looked like there house was for sale was always amusing.
We used to do the sign rearranging thing at a farmer's market down the way. One night they were waiting for us in a truck and high beamed us and we took off running through the orchard. Seeing 4 guys flip head over heels at the same time after running into a waist high wire fence must have made the farmers nights. We all had some nice cuts across our stomachs too.
Amanda B - I drive an Element now. The ultimate Hooptie! It converts into a bed.
147. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I went to grade school with a lad whose parents tagged him with the name Rob Banks.
Think his folks were planning for their retirement funding?
148. Girl.A said:
My 4th grade teacher's name was Mrs. Coonrod. Seriously.
And I agree with mg2, brando, your multi-faceted double intendres were magnifique.
149. La-la in nashville said:
In my mom's hometown in Georgia, some teenagers wanted to spray paint "Satan Rules" on a school bus (which was driven by my uncle). However, the irony is that they couldn't spell, so they painted "Satin Rules" instead.
"Down with silk!" I say. "Satin rules!"
150. stella said:
I like what I read so everyday I go clickity click click on those ads.
151. Miss Mea-Mea said:
I missed getting to post to all the excitement yesterday, so here's my late contribution:
Heather - Happy first birthday to Leta and congratulations to you and Jon for all the great things that you've done and chronicled here for the world to see. You and Jon are the kind of intelligent people that make me happy to see have babies and populate the next generation with kids raised by cool people.
Leta is beautiful. She was beautiful in her newborn pictures, and she's just gotten more so as each new picture comes along. She is a little person already and it's great to see her grow up. All thanks to her excellent parents!
And, thanks for hanging in there. I've been reading for a few years now and it always surprises me how hateful people can be. Well meaning ignorance is one thing, trolling is quite another. You had to shut down comments on your posts, so people started trashing your photo comments instead. One expects that we are all adults that can handle a little fun and honesty without getting over the line, right? But no, their hate is apparently all your fault - never theirs.
The blogging community used to be a fun and wacky place. Now that it's mainstream enough for Granny to have her own blog, longtime online personalities have to worry about spam, trolls, lawsuits, and the FBI sniffing down their asses. It might have made blogs grow up a bit, but it also leeches the fun out of it when people see fit to pick apart your every word, photo, and action. This is your space, these are your thoughts, and that fact that you've stuck in there DAILY for years, paying for excessive bandwidth, sweating over design layout, AND put up with all the drama...man, that's just fucking cool.
So, about Leta and the frosting - my mom took a picture of me at my second birthday party, mining for nose gold. Ah, good times.
152. Annejelynn said:
My lil' brother's ski instructor last x-mas at Keystone, CO was named
"Les Hare."
153. Jenni said:
My mom went to school with boy/girl twins... Jack and Jill Hill.
She also worked with a lady named Liberty Bell.
My favorite funny name however belongs to an exit on Interstate75 in Troy, MI. Exit #69 is called Big Beaver Rd.
154. TjL said:
We were walking along Daytona Beach a few years ago in the evening and the local Days Inn had several letters out on their sign (wish I had my camera with me). Instead of
DAYS INN
it read
A S IN
Fortunately there were no arrows pointing to what room the sin was taking place in.
I do have a picture somewhere of a sign seen outside of a Subway restaurant:
NOW HIRING ASS MANAGER
(this was pre-Jared, I guess he is the official national ASS MANAGER of Subway now)
155. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Gotta go with Jenni on the Big Beaver Rd. thing. You can't tell me someone didn't plan for this to be exit 69.
156. Beth said:
That reminds me of a church sign that read "Sun worship 10:00am" I was like hmmmmm... sun worship. Still too freakin early.
157. Annejelynn said:
Just read all the comments posted last night after I had left for wk 'n hauled off to get me a nummy-num-num margarEetah!
SUSIE -- SUSIE!!!
wherever you are - you made me bawl my eyes out!!! Recently, an absolute IGNORANT fool made a totally senseless comment TO MY FACE about my mother -- bkground info: my mum died in '87 after battling Hodgkins disease for 17 yrs. She was terminal when my father met her and he married her anyhow, and they conceived a child anyhow, KNOWING that she would, indeed die.
Now, I know bystanders, IGNORANT bystanders, would claim HOW SELFISH CAN YA GET? But man, ya didn't know my mama!?! I don't care what anyone says --sure, I would prefer she were still around (miss her all the time), BUT despite my mother's illness my mother did her damnedest to care for me and love me and teach me all she could before she 'left' me to a HUGELY LOVING extended family, all set with the tools and resources to make myself who I am today. She did me no harm - only those ASS WIPES who tried to rain on my parade that is my mother's loving legacy!
158. Cathi said:
There's a plastic surgeon in Maryland named Jack Frost. He does noses.
159. Kellie said:
I used to work in the Pediatric ER, and we used to have a boy with CP come in there named Nick Knack. Why?
160. 01234 said:
Leta looks at you with this 'hey what are you doing?' expression that makes me think she knows all about the camera and the future significance of this thing that mom keeps doing. One of these days she's going to surprise you by saying it's a helicopter, not an airplane. She'll put two fingers up in front of the camera and say 'Enough, Ma! Suck That!'
161. Jennifer said:
Ooooh, I love burned out signs. I'm still waiting for the "G" to burn out on the Black Angus restaurant down the street.
162. elizabetht said:
hehehe while we're on this subject:
my eye doctor's name is donald macdonald.
his brother's name is ronald macdonald.
donald and ronald macdonald? what on *earth* were their parents thinking?
163. Cathi said:
Worst kid's name I've ever heard was when I worked at an answering service. Woman calls her pediatrician about her sick little girl, Microwavenia.
164. Jenni said:
Almost forgot... my husband's grandfather was named Bill Williams. Of course, you know what the Bill is short for...
165. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
"Bill Williams" That's redundant, man.
In the same vein (heh heh, vein), there used to be an anchor on the ABC affiliate in Grand Rapids, MI named Dick Richards.
166. Susie said:
Annejelynn,
Here I am. And now it's my turn to cry. Glad you had a "selfish" mama, too. I read all the comments from yesterday, too, and many people seemed to identify with being children of those godawful selfish parents and grandparents. My goodness, how few of us (them) there would be if only perfectly physically and mentally healthy people were allowed to procreate.
But poor, dear Holly got so many kind invitations to kiss, suck, finger, etc., that I'm sure she'll be busy for a while, and maybe after all that lovin' she'll be in a better mood.
Hugs to each of you who said such kind things after my comment yesterday. (That's hugs, guys; none of the sucky, fingery stuff that Holly gets . . .)
And on one of today's topics, I have met both Harry Dingle and Rusty Pipes.
167. DM said:
La La in Nashville - when I was in high school, I was in the drama club and was cast in a play as man-hating Miss Hatchett. One of my lines was "Eschew the company of men, they are the minions of Satan."
Yeah, I read it as Satin. Thanks for the memory!
168. Annejelynn said:
yer awesome SUSIE - and yer so sweet to tell your mama how well she did! look at cha now kid! thanks again!
169. Liz said:
Funny names:
Bong Recreation Area (off I-94 in Wisconsin)
My dentist: Dr. Lipps
Famous Texan: Ima Hogg
170. Annejelynn said:
Refering to comments made last night, all in "Holly retaliation:"
mg2 WITH THE LAST WORD said at 11:20PM, 01.31.2005:
....it’s coming…
SUCK IT
Mrs.Strizzay said at 10:24PM, 01.31.2005:
Holly Holly Bo Bolly Nafattass Ho Holly Me My Go Fuck Yourself
LMAO and AGAIN crying like a ninny! my smiley muscles hurt!
I've only been reading/submitting comments for less than a week's time now - but I already know whose comments I look forward to...Girl.A, Amanada B., Circus Kelli, RazDreams, BGSam, closetmetro, U.B., Bucky4eyes, LadyBug, Trance, amberlyn, etc. etc. (off the top of my head in no particular order there, and I could on and on, so I won't)
--- and there's always the occasional dooce sighting!
You guys rock! Thank you all for your life lovin' shits n' giggles - and for your sensitivity; your humanity. *sniff, sniff*
171. Liz said:
http://tinyurl.com/42eyw
172. JessicaRabbit said:
My xhusband had to get a colonoscopy, and it was done by a guy named Dr. Manley. Dr. Manley the ass doctor.
173. LadyBug said:
Awww, Annejelynn, thanks for the mention.
'Kay...back to the funny whatnot...
I went to high school with a guy named Dusty Poehl (pronounced like Pail). Everyone called him Rusty Bucket. *snort*
174. eileen dover said:
The Sears dept store near our house is always losing letters too. For awhile, it was EARS. Currently, it's SARS. I feel like I should wear a face mask if I ever shop there.
175. LadyBug said:
All of this signs-missing-letters talk reminds me of Revenge of the Nerds II, when they turned the "HOTEL CORAL ESSEX" sign into "HOT ORAL SEX."
176. Annejelynn said:
So far I've never met an unhappy "Joy" - but what if your name was Joy and ya happened to be a royal biatch? Or what if your name was Chastity? w/ that name, either way -- virginal priss or raging slut -- yer screwed w/ that name.
177. Carla Beth said:
What's weird is when someone's last name is Weiner. Rusty Weiner? Mr. and Mrs. Weiner? Weiner Drive-thru? What do you want on your weiner, Weiner? Butthead and Weiner? Weiner, Jr? Weiner, Sr?
I worked for a Weiner once. Deliveryman ... "Where's Weiner?"
178. Scott said:
I used to work near a town called Lizard Lick, NC. What kind of sick pervert licks lizards? If you do, do you lick the top or the bottom side? I'd venture the belly is more tasty.
179. jules said:
and i promise i won't have another piece o of thos chocolate that's sitting in a box righ there next to me.. calling my name.. wafting it's chocolately goodness smell into my nostrils.... no.. not one more piece.
well...
(:3
180. Nikki said:
My daughter has been fighting naps period since she was an infant. You better believe that I have taken the long way home on more than 50 occassions. Sometimes you just have to.
181. Carla Beth said:
Weinerland. The Weiner Bunch. Leave it to Weiner. MacWeiners. JCWeiner. Weiner Towers. Buster Weiners. Jiffy Weiner. Stanley Weiner. Weiner Elevator Company.
182. BAnd said:
TjL...Was that Subway in Atlanta? I remember seeing something like that several years ago on the sign at Cheshire Bridge and wishing I had a camera with me. Hmmmm...
183. Susie said:
Ooh ooh!(Raising my hand and frantically waving!) I had the best ass doctor ever: Dr. Butt. I swear. Well, I was referred to him, but I didn't actually GO to him, I picked someone else, because HIS NAME WAS DR. BUTT!!!!
184. Charlotte said:
My pediatrician's name is Dr. Dye.
On my drive from my current home back to my hometown, I always pass a sign pointing to Success. I always miss the road to Success. (Success, Arkansas)
185. Evil Stepmother said:
1) used to work for a company that served dental offices. We had 2 Dr. Doctors and a Dr. Lawyer.
2) went to school with a girl named Chablis. She had a sister named Chardonnay. Thankfully, no Fetal Alcohol Syndrome seemed to be evident.
3) re: today's post - it's so neat when the all of a sudden get really affectionate. My stepdaughter took a bit and would get annoyed at affection, but we persisted and now she's all about constant kisses and I love yous. Go Leta!
186. LadyBug said:
Oooh, I can't resist...
*Susie* - You mean you didn't pick Dr. BUTT? I bet it was hard NOT to pick Butt, huh?
187. Trance said:
There is a town in Tennessee called Bug Scuffle. We drove through it once when I was a kid, while on the way to Orlando.
I went to HS with a guy named William W. Williams. The W. was for... you guessed it. Talk about your boring parents...
My friend who lived across the street went to elementary school with a Sparkle Box. When we were seven we thought that name was THE SHIT.
Come to think of it, I still do.
188. Scott said:
I am listening to XM Radio right now and there is a band on called "Of Montreal". That's almost like: Of France!
My favorite horrible name: Dick Trickle. He was a NASCAR driver. I'd root for him just because he had the courage not to go by the name Richard.
189. Evil Stepmother said:
Every Chastity I've ever known was a big ol' ho.
There are some names with connotations for me, I wonder if y'all have them too? Let's start:
Bertha
190. We are all Dorks, squared said:
Know what sucks?
When its after midnight and you have been driving around fore an our and you figure its safe so you pull in the driveway and lift the "protective" blankie over the carseat only to see two little eyes peering back at you like "are we there yet?". It always makes mne burts out laughing, and then into tears, when that happens.
191. Trance said:
I had an Aunt Bertha, and she was a BIG woman, true to what you'd imagine. Cool as hell, though.
192. Ninotchka said:
Oh honey, welcome to the club of Mothers with Broken Spirits. Proud member, here, since 1996.
My 2 1/2 year old, Elle, is going to a NO-nap format (I make her sound like a damned radio station - ha!) but we cannot let the naps die. Let me rephrase that, *I* cannot let the naps die. So I make hubby drive her around until she relents.
It works, what can I say?
Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I hope Leta sleeps for you!
193. Carol said:
Holy Shit!! *cringe*
194. We are all Dorks, squared said:
My dentist looks like John Ritter and I have to tell him so EVERY.TIME.I.SEE.HIM.
195. LadyBug said:
Dooce, no need to feel guilty for attempting to preserve your sanity. That's not a problem, unless you get to the point of a couple I knew who, when their daughter (who was about 2 or so at the time, I believe) got up in the middle of the night and refused to go back to bed, ended up with the child's TRICYCLE in the middle of THEIR BED, with the little girl happily perched atop said tricycle. WHY did they do this, you may ask? Why, because that's what the little princess wanted, of course!
196. jodi-no-blog said:
I used to work in HR for a southern shoe company and we had an employee named Velveeta, and another one named DeVodka. I couldn't help think of the scenario that led to that name...
Woman tells her boy friend she's pregnant and it is his baby. He asks, "How did that happen?" She answers, "Musta been de vodka."
197. Trance said:
Going through life with the name Velveeta is total justification for matricide.
198. coskel said:
becaru - where are you? i'm downriver. kel
eastside? yes? i used to be GPP, then Ferndale, now downriver...oh how the mighty have fallen[sic]
if you're not from Detroit, you just might not get it
199. Susie said:
Ladybug, I knew when I wrote it that SOMEONE would go there. My gift to you.
200. jodi-no-blog said:
And when Velveeta would call Human Resources for something she would literally say the following:
"Hi, this is Velveeta. You know, like the cheese."
I swear its true.
I always wondered if she had a brother named Skippy. You know, like the peanut butter.
201. wemery said:
Delurking to share:
When in high school, I had my wisdom teeth cut from my jaw by an oral surgeon named Dr. Carver.
202. We are all Dorks, squared said:
As long as they aren't names Astroglide or Oh Shit It Broke...
203. JessicaRabbit said:
The dentist who removed my wisdom teeth was Dr. Wrenchler. I wonder if anyone has ever changed their name because it either went with their profession or grated against it so poorly. Has the race car driver Dick Trickle already been mentioned? Im 30 and I still laugh at Dick Trickle.
204. Trance said:
Here in the ghetto we have more than a few Porsches and Mercedes bopping around. Makes me wonder whether I should have named my kid Saturn. Sort of Zappa-esque, no?
205. Amanda B. said:
Hotpants- "Licking Lizards" would be a great band name.
My parents used to drive me around in the car to put me to sleep and I turned out fine.
*twitch*
206. We are all Dorks, squared said:
I prefer Toyota myself.
207. We are all Dorks, squared said:
Toyota Velveet Trcikle, just rolls off the tonguee..no?
208. Evil Stepmother said:
Thank you, Trance. Exactly.
Just like I've never met a Russell who didn't have red hair (Rusty). How do the parents KNOW?
209. Jen said:
Every parent I know has done the drive-the-kid-around-until-they-pass-out trick. No shame in that.
Hell, my parents did it and I'm not scarred for life. Plus it's a great excuse for why I can't drive on long cartrips. I still go right to sleep.
210. Jenni said:
Coskel, I grew up downriver. Couldn't wait to leave... now it seems that it's "up and coming".
211. LadyBug said:
*For jodi-no-blog*
Paul Edgecomb: Your name is John Coffey?
John Coffey: Yes sir boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
212. JessicaRabbit said:
Growing up my last name was Casper, yes like the ghost because I was asked that ten million times. And kids would sing that stupid Casper the friendly ghost song and my mom comes back with " Well tell them you would rather be a friendy ghost than Oscar the Grouch."
Oh yeah, that wouldnt of gotten my ass kicked, not at all.
213. KellyH said:
At the little strip-mall like place where I used to work, there is a Shoe Carnival. One night while leaving, my friend and I noticed the "s" and "e" were burned out. We still call that store Ho Carnival.
Spaeking of weird town names, there's a teeny little place here in SC called Sugar Tit.
214. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
Dick Trickle. heh
215. Trance said:
Evil Stepmother: I think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like if my aunt had been named Leah instead of Bertha she'd have been thin. THE CURSE OF BERTHA!
Dorks, squared: Navigator is manly name. Like Terminator. But Focus would suck ass.
216. Sarah said:
Ah, naps. My daughter went to one nap almost IMMEDIATELY (like, only a few months old) and then at around 2 I had to cut out the nap ENTIRELY! If she fell asleep for even TWO minutes, she would be up really, really late that night. I used to have to yell and try to make her laugh when we had to be in the car so that she *wouldn't* sleep.
I love some of the wacky names you hear, and you guys are all posting some hilarious ones!
217. JessicaRabbit said:
AND (last one I swear) In downtown Chicago there is a store called Shoes Fo Less. No R in the sign, its a big handpainted sign with black letters, Fo less.
218. Trance said:
Jessica Rabbit: HAAAAA!
219. Carol said:
You are... John YaYa. And you... John Smallberries.
220. CanadianAmy said:
There is a mall in my town and since we were kids there has been a little booth called,
"Jim's Nut Shack"
And I still smile EVERY TIME I think of my redheaded brother Charlie going into asthmatic convulsive laughter, saying,
"Hey! It's Jims Nut SACK!"
221. Trance said:
Must...go...do something...productive...
222. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
Drick Trickle went to the Ho Carnival one Saturday afternoon. It wasn't long before he ran into his old dentis Chastity, his old high school girldriend, Of Montreal!!!.
They had HOT ORAL SEX until the local dentist, Dr.carver happened upon them. He went straight to the local judge, Ms. Velveeta (yes, like the cheese) who banished them immediatly from the mormon loving state of Utah to the back woods breeding grounds of Sugar Tit........
223. Hilary said:
Do you even read these comments? I mean, on any given day there are hundreds of them. I get really excited when I see that I have five comments in my livejournal. "woah," I thought, "I'm getting so famous...I need to leave livejournal and switch to blogger...and cash in on the adsense!" well I've only made about $5 so far, which means I haven't made anything, which means I can't donate those earnings to charity. Oh Dooce, help me achieve fame!
224. Charlotte said:
My hometown celebrates Toadsuck Daze. Yeah, it's spelled that way too. That toad-sucking must have made for a good trip.
225. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
I fucked that all up derrrrrrrrr
Chickeeeeen
226. Tabbie said:
My Dad was always telling me about his friend growing up named Robert Sled.... Bob Sled
227. LadyBug said:
Yes, HBS (Mrs. Striz), I've noticed a slur in your typing today. Have you been hanging out with DeVodka?
228. Cathi said:
My husband and I wouldn't share the name we chose before our daughter was born. We made up names to tell people who asked. These include "Goliath" for a boy, "Ms. Pacman" for a girl (both suggested by a friend), Nunya (as in Nunya Business), and Ruthora (after grandmothers Ruth and Thora, which was funny till one of grandma's friends took me seriously and told me it was a beautiful name).
229. Circus Kelli said:
I had a doctor called Dr. Bloodgood
Another doctor called Dr. Yow
And there is a Colonial Ice Cream Shoppe/Family Restaurant in town where only some of the letters work. The first part of the sign constantly flickers and blinks.
We call it the spaztic Colon.
230. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
lmao, I *did* give birth 4 years ago today. Makes me drunk with love. That and I am a dork.
231. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
He bought me ice cream he bought me cake
He brought me home with a belly ache
Momma Momma I'm so sick
Call the doctor...
232. erica said:
here in massachusetts we had a guy run for public office named Dick Swett.
there was a story that went along with him. they thought he won, and it was announced that he won, but when all the votes finally came in, he lost.
so just a few weeks later, the same sort of thing happened to the boys' track team at my high school. the scoring had been done incorrectly, so in actuality they lost a very important meet.
the first line of the article about it in the wakefield daily item the next day:
"The WHS boys' track team sure knows how Dick Swett feels."
Well. I bet they do.
233. LadyBug said:
OMG! I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier...
I live in a small Texas town, and several years ago there was a kid playing high school football here named (I shit you not) *Anus Fagg*
234. pismire said:
Here are some names for you:
Penny Dish
Candy Dish
Dimple Suntich
Horry Bumcum
The Dish family went to school with my mother. The other two are associated with my work. Scary.
235. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
LadyBug, I have officially pissed my pants, thankyouverymuch.
236. LadyBug said:
Bucky Four-Eyes - You'reentirelywelcome. Sorry 'bout the mess.
Good grief, but I'm a comment hog today. Sorry, Dooce.
237. beckythefirst said:
well, let us know if the driving worked.
and watch out for those parent police.
238. beckythefirst said:
speaking of signs, have you all seen the gas stations in okla. that say KUM & GO?
i am not kidding. i about broke my arm trying to get to the camera fast enough to take a picture of THAT priceless memory.
239. Megan said:
First?
Ha, right. My fave partially-burned out sign was for a Teriyaki Plus restaurant - Teriyaki Pus. Mmmm... Almost as good as Szechuan Pus.
240. Annejelynn said:
Kum & Go! yeah - in Iowa! I thought to mention it myself, but it's just so unbelievable...I had heard of them when we moved there, but I hadn't seen one = thought it a bad joke. Then I took a picture of the 1st one I saw, driving to Chicago for a Cure concert in '90
241. GOD's Secretary said:
Hello. GOD is busy smiting Holly Suckit, but asked me to relay the following message:
Kids. You guys are wound up like the ass hairs of a Poodle with a Geri Curl. Are you smoking the drugs again? You know I will find out sooner or later.
That is all.
242. Annejelynn said:
# We are all Dorks, squared said at 01:27PM, 02.01.2005:
As long as they aren’t names Astroglide or Oh Shit It Broke…
If you haven't tried it, Astroglide truly is "second only to nature." For all my younger mormon cousins who've been getting married in droves over the last 3 yrs, as a wedding gift, I give them a silk "goodie bags" for their first night together...the all essential Astroglide for that 'first time.' The 1st time I did this, my grandma found out and tried to tear me a new one - but the day after the honeymoon night, the happy newlyweds met with the extended family for brunch before flyin' off to Hawaii...and they told me I saved their wedding night! Cute lil' virgins no more!
243. victoria said:
Astroglide: How did anyone ever have sex without it? Men inconveniently did not evolve to produce their own lubrication and so it's impossible to do anything creative (i.e., nonprocreative) without chafing the tools of their proceduring unless you have a little help from Astroglide.
Astroglide. It's not just for gay men anymore.
244. Annejelynn said:
http://www.kumandgo.com/
Beckythefirst and me - we kid you not! We were telling the truth! see!?!
245. Annejelynn said:
Astroglide is the best - I even told my own father he needed to put the sticky, gummed-up KY Jelly away and give my step-mom a real ride. I know how that sounds -- way way beyond the boundaries of normal parent-child relationship convo, but my popa is one of my best-friends...he just happens to also be my dad.
246. Dang cold... said:
Annejelynn, I just read your comment to Susie about your parents. I don't know which one of you I'd like to bear hug more so tonight when I meet some friends for a few brews, I'm going to put down 4 of them. One for you, one for your mom, one for susie and one for her mom. (ching ching)
You've both made me feel like its St. Pats day....or mothers day...you catch my drift.
I've pictured Holly as looking like "Nellie Olsen" from Little House on the Praire which I used to watch as a kid. I've made a small voodoo doll of her likeness and stuffed it with a bit of catnip. Left it in my living room before I went to work this morning and as I walked out the door my 3 devils were stalking it slowly like Pavarotti on Monte Crysto sandwich. I doubt they'll be anything left of her when I get back tonight. Perhaps my cats are self-absorbed and selfish for tearing her limb from limb??? hmmmm...let me muse.
247. Annejelynn said:
Dang cold, CHEERS to us all!
248. not-that-Andrea said:
I went through grade school, junior high and part of high school with Holden Cox. The poor boy.
249. Susie said:
Oh, Dang cold -- yes, Nellie Olsen! That's our Holly. Cheers to you from Mom and me.
Annejelynn, you're too much, girl. Do you have a blog? If/When you do, the Astroglide folks should pay you big bucks. And I don't think anyone's said it yet (at least not today), but isn't everyone always thinking "ASS-troglide," and didn't the marketing people so totally do that deliberately?
250. tiffi said:
I don't see anything wrong with driving your baby around till she falls asleep. my mom used to give us Triaminic to get us to sleep when she needed sanity time, and she joked about it for years afterward. that would merit a visit by Children & Family Services nowadays, but hey, there ya go.
By the way, does the New York Times need new copy editors?
But the question is, at who's expense?
251. victoria said:
Who wants to bet that personal lubricant companies will soon take out ads on dooce.com?
252. bell said:
dooce - ditto everyone else, your blog rocks. i started reading when wwdn linked you a couple of months back, and then obsessively read through your archives to catch up. what fun!
we did the for sale sign thing back in high school as well - we actually put it in front of the school! it disappeared after a couple of days and we weren't sure anyone noticed, but then a picure of it turned up in year book.
Then we went to eat at the WAFFLE HOSE.
253. Annejelynn said:
nope, don't got no blog ("ain't got no rain barrel, ain't got no cellar door..." those playschool lines ring a bell for anyone?)
But if I ever do, I'm sure I could totally get Astroglide to sign on! Astro is capable of saving relationships!!!
STORY: Once the stuff ruined a brand new set of sateen sheets (despite the claim it won't stain)...
I wrote to the makers of Astroglide (dammit, the sheets were xpenseeve!) and complained. They not only paid for replacement of my bedsheets, they sent me 2 free bottles of Astro! and a travel size!
254. monkeypuzzled said:
Down the street from me there's a a dentist named Anita L. Fok. Seriously. It's like, honey, you're not fooling anyone with this 'L' business.
Hey, Dooce, I'm reporting from just the other side of the "one nap" divide, and it's good over here. It seemed like for a couple weeks there my daughter would only nap in the stroller or the car, so I went with it, even though like you I had sworn I never would. Turns out, she just had to settle into a new routine. Now she takes a nice 1.5-2 hour nap in the middle of the day, the day isn't totally shot waiting around for two naps, and as an extra special bonus, she sleeps later in the morning, too.
Mind you, that means she no longer wakes up at 5 am. Woo hoo! Sleeping until 6!
255. KTP said:
I just want to quickly weigh in on the depression discussion (I know, so yesterday). I had a dear friend who was bipolar, and I SO didn't get it. She ended up dying from it. Now I get it, and I wish I had gotten it before. I miss her, even though she was crazy.
256. Home Detention Lady said:
I interned in Houston, TX as a Juvenile Parole Officer, and a kid came across a PO's desk with the name "Royal Payne".....wow. I've also come across a Caprice (a car) and a Hennessy (the liquor) since being the HDL. Not to mention a brother sister duo named Herman and Hermania. Oh, and another kid named Stoney. That was seriously the name listed on his birth certificate. And, sure enough, he was stoney all the time, and I had to take him back to detention for it....
257. Lushlife said:
OB/GYN - Dr Dick his daughter Ophelia Dick - no kidding.
258. Annejelynn said:
H.S. friend of mine said when he had a son, he'd name the lil' guy "Pharoh" - ???
thank god, he now has a lil' Nathan and a lil' Carter - not that he didn't try to name either of them Pharoh.
259. Tammy said:
Ahh yes. Parents who need to rethink what they're naming their children :) I went to school with a kid named Kevin Dick and his father's name was Harry.
260. Amy said:
This question comes from a curiosity stand point...I JUST found out that I am 4 weeks pregnant--thrilled as ever, but desperate to share the news. When did some of you'all share (at least with your loved ones?)
261. kristine said:
I called my mom and said, "Mom, you wanna play 20 questions?"
she said, "You're pregnant?"
I said, "Whoa, you're good."
she said, "Kristine, I had 5 kids and had to tell my mom each time, how do you think I told her about you?"
262. Amy said:
Kristine, that is cute! When did you spill the news to your mum?
263. cathy said:
My son had a good friend in HS whose last name is Porn. My husband heard the name and said no one would ever be able to google him and actually find him.
264. Jaia said:
My favorite place name is this one I drive past every so often called the House of Hose. Conveniently located near several actual quasi-strip-clubs.
Also, in Pittsburgh where I used to live, there was a dentist named William Hurt. Get it? Doctor Will Hurt?
Yeah, I thought that was pretty damn funny till I read all these other comments. Harry Dick almost made me bust out laughing all alone in my apartment, and then I know my cats woulda thought I was CRAZY.
265. kristine said:
I was about 2 months pregnant. I would have told her earlier, but I just didn't get it until that late in the game.
266. Cathi said:
Amy - congratulations!!
I told my folks at 6 weeks, only because that's when I was at home on a business trip and preferred telling them in person.
267. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
My parents react to the news like I have been diagnosed with cancer.
"OH NO!" *GASP*
I wait a while to share the news.
268. Melanie S. said:
Dooce,
Why are you starting Leta on 1 nap so early? Just curious. I truly don't know many peole that have kids younger than 2.5 on a 1 nap per day schedule. You are a brave woman.
269. kristine said:
Yes, my parents did too after my third pregnancy.
"You're just shit'n me right?" was the last response.
270. honestyrain said:
mommy must do what she can to survive. do not feel guilty about it. but don't make it a habit to drive her around to sleep or you will be committed to it for life and life is very very long. especially in a car.
271. Cathi said:
Melanie - My 15-month old has worked herself into the same schedule. I'm not going to just her in her crib screaming when she's not even acting tired. (There's a difference between the tired protests and all out "get me out of here" rage.)
I know there are plenty of people out there who have been able to set the schedule, and having routines has helped us ease her into a pretty regular bedtime. Naps have been a different monster.
What would you suggest?
272. to Melanie S. said:
not to speak for Dooce, but I know with my daughter the one nap transition was not a matter of choice. Right after her first birthday she just started fighting ... and fighting, and fighting the second nap. So we moved the first one back and everyone was happy.
273. ps to Melanie S. said:
ETA but of course all the kids, they are different
274. Girl.A said:
I'm on the .25 nap-a-day schedule right now.
That's the one where I nod off for about 4 minutes heading home on the T - if I am not pre-emptively listening to Prodigy or whatever song happens to be my current "Fight Song"...
I'd really like to go back to the 2 nap-a-day plan myself, but it messes up my BM schedule. And I would pretty much have to quit my job.
275. CanadianAmy said:
I told people I was preggers at four weeks and one day with my first, at about six weeks the second time, and the third time I called my husband at work after the shock wore off and said,
"Guess what? I have some news."
He said, "You crashed the car."
I said, "No! It's not BAD news, I am pregnant!"
He said, "And that's not bad news?"
I hung up on him. Arse.
Later of course, he apologized, and I forgave him (sort of). Then we told people over a couple of weeks. My parents reacted like Spideys and Kristines. It was neat-o.
276. MKN said:
Hey! Now you're speaking my language! There's no shame in the nap ride. My twins take almost every nap that way. We didn't plan it, but that's what has evolved. It was that, or insanity. Bed time, they're great. Nap time, another story. And we're still on a one nap - two nap roller coaster. Every day is different. It's a joy. Do what you have to do to get through the day lady! Hang in there.
277. HEY CATHY... said:
My husband and I told people we were naming our second child "Gaylord" or "Cosmo". The first time around it seemed like EVERYONE had something to say about the names we had chosen.
278. CanadianAmy said:
yeah it's nice when you say the name you are thinking of and people go,
"Hmmm. Interesting."
279. Sacha said:
I think your cheekbones are hiding under Leta's delicious looking cheeks...
280. Lavanotes said:
The car ride. It's an invaluable tool. We used it a lot in the early months. My personal strategy? Whatever works.
281. bignik said:
hey all, long time lurker, first time poster. there are so many discussion threads, here's my take on some of them:
burnt out signs: my fave was 'discount liquors' which was burnt out to read 'disco liquors.' still call it that to this day.
naptime rides: dooce, you are brilliant going into the nap drive with the idea, "just this once." i went into with no plan and ended up doing a daily drive for about 3-4 weeks. then i pulled my head out of my butt and stopped... with no problems. i think it was what someone else referred to as adjusting to the transition from two naps to one. heck, now my daughter (2+ yrs) rarely naps but that means we can put her to be by 7:30 pm and have lots of (re)productive time on our hands.
when to tell about your pregnancy: i say the sooner the better. here's why-- both of my pregnancies had bad family juju surrounding them. with my first one, my niece passed away when i was 10 weeks pregant. with my current pregancy we found out that my bro-in-law is hiv positive on the same day we found out we were expecting. in both cases we ended up being a type of 'beacon of hope' (know it sounds corny) for the family. makes me the poster child for 'life goes on.' plus, i remember being apprehensive about telling people too early, but my sister told me that if something were to happen to the baby, we'd share that news with our family... so we might as well share the joy too. sorry, don't want to be a downer, but it is something to think about...
thanks for the daily entertainment, dooce & doocelings!!
282. kristine said:
Amy,
I tried to convince my husband that "Douglass" was a girls name.
He looked at me like I had lost my mind.
I swore I would never read another romance novel and try to name my daughter after the woman in the book.
I then named my second, Alyx (from a romance novel I read)
I was hopeless back then.
283. Cathi said:
HEY CATHY...
As the old saying goes: Opinions are just like assholes; everybody has one. It doesn't matter what the name is, everyone's going to have something to say if given the opportunity. That's why we kept it secret. Good thing anyway since we changed our minds close to the due date (an ignorant and annoying couple in a class had a precious daughter with the same name we chose, and we couldn't get over it).
284. kristine said:
When my ex told his mom that we had picked the name, "Shea" pronounced "Shaya" she said it was too ethnic. I about died when she said that.
Then a couple days after Shea was born she called and told my husband that it wasn't too late to change her name.
GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
285. Cheryl said:
I'm so late to post today, but I wanted to comment on the driving Leta around to make her go to sleep.
Being that I don't babysit that much anymore, I volunteered to babysit for a friend while she went to California for New Years. Thus, leaving me alone with her two children (11 and 6) for 5 DAYS. I found out on the first day that riding in the car made them sleepy-- guess what Cheryl did for the rest of the trip? LONG CAR RIDES TO WAL-MARTS AND CHUCK E. CHEESE'S THAT WERE VERY FAR AWAY.
Moral of the story: If you have to drive Leta around to get yourself some free time, do it!! NO GUILT TRIP FROM ME!!
286. Murphy said:
Funny names: My grandma's husband's name is Dick Bent.
Amy: I didn't tell my family until the end of the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. My sister-in-law has told everyone at the 6 week mark (twice) and had to un-tell everyone a few weeks later. It's hard enough to deal with losing the baby, but worse to have to tell everyone.
287. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
I am sorry but I had to lmao @ the update....
Leta has a will of her own and can't nobody hold her down. Oh no. She's got to keep on movin.
288. Rob said:
Cool! I love the irony in the sign. Check out my own collection:
http://www.electrolund.com/photos/neon/index.html
289. CanadianAmy said:
I hear ya, Murphy. It's a tough call. I had two m/c's in between my first and second children. The first time everyone knew, then we had to tell them it wasn't happening. The second time I waited, then lost it at ten weeks, and then had to tell everyone anyways, because I was sad. I don't know which is better or worse. But I do think there is a joy that should be shared in the early excitement of it all. It is such a personal thingy.
290. jenni said:
Melanie,
Let me assure you that Dooce is not "intentionally" transitioning Leta to one nap a day. I don't know any parent who willingly gives up the two naps a day for the inevitable one nap lifestyle. Kids just start to outgrow the need for as much sleep. Although we try and deny it by letting them "cry it out" for a while... eventually we (parents) come to grips with the fact that they (our kids) are not going to fall asleep no matter how long you leave them in their crib.
My kids were both around one year when they ditched the morning nap and started taking just a noon/1pm nap. My youngest (2.5 yrs) spent her afternoon nap today singing and yelling from her crib. I'm soooo not ready to say goodbye to naps altogether.
291. GEORGE! said:
In response to comment 149, some kids spray painted "Blow Me" on someone's electricity box thingy in their backyard in my alley. I can't help but chuckle everytime I drive by.
292. Graygirl said:
My favorite business names:
Linolium Dicks (a floor store in Oakland, CA)
Superior Erections (I think is no longer there, was a construction business in Vallejo, CA)
293. Alaska Danielle said:
Graygirl - *I remember Superior Erections*! I lived in Fairfield, CA for a couple of years.
294. Janis said:
Heather,
I want you to know how much I appreciate your candor in dealing with your depression. Every day, when I log in, I am reminded that there is hope for those who suffer from depression, bipolar, other mental/chemical disorders/imbalances.
Two years ago, on 1/27/03, I lost my daughter to suicide. She had bipolar disorder. Every day without her is agony. I miss her and feel like I failed her.
When I come here, I am reminded that there are many who are not lost to their inner demons.
I look at precious Leta and am so thankful that her mother is still with her. It takes a lot to reach out when your are that low and get the help you need to keep going.
My daughter did that several times. For whatever reason, that final time, she couldn't.
I keep hoping that one day I will see you running errands around town, Leta in your arms, missing a sock, so that I can give you a hug and tell you what a wonderful mom I think you are.
And I am pretty damn sure that years from now, when Leta is older and she looks back on her pictures from her first birthday party and sees the frosting *you* smeared all over her face, she won't believe that you "did it in a self absorbed attempt at a photo op." She will look at them and think of how happy she is that were there to do it.
Much love to you and yours.
295. jenni said:
my two cents on naming your children... be very careful what you tell people. I have a niece who told everyone the name she had "decided" on and then she and the father choose an entirely different name after the baby was born. Needless to say, all of the personalized baby gifts (and the handmade, personalized quilt) that they received at their baby shower caused them severe embarrasement.
296. Graygirl said:
Alaska Danielle - you reminded me there was also "Erections of Vallejo"
There was also a bar in Oakland, I think is still there called The White Horse. Their neon always was out. The best was "The White Hor.." and we called it that ever since!
297. Marti said:
It takes so long to get to the bottom of the comments.
I haven't seen any signs with lights burned out, but I did go to high school with Kandy Kiss.
I need to think about this Astroglide thing.
298. Annejelynn said:
Janis, bless your heart.
299. Happy Birthday Spiderman said:
Astroglide is good for quickies. No need for rug burn when you don't have time to spare.
300. Amanda B. said:
GEORGE!
*ducks back under blanket*