Leta, I promise I will pay for ALL of your therapy bills

I did this to her. But, alas, this... THIS is what kids are for.

I did this to her. But, alas, this... THIS is what kids are for.
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1. Sarah said:
It's not showing up!!! :(
2. Ashley said:
Happy Birthday Leta!
3. Diana said:
It's definitely a mother's right ;)
4. Alex said:
Chocolately goodness.
5. Kimberley said:
That is something every mother should say.
6. Sarah said:
But hot damn, was I first or what?!
7. Matt in London said:
Typical Friday night I reckon.. :-)
8. Melissa said:
Adorable! You're right, Heather. THIS is what kids are for!
9. kristine said:
LOL, I did the same thing to my daughter because she wouldn't have any part of grabbing that cake and eating it.
10. Vee said:
Precious! Happy Birthday lil' Leta...with icing on top!
11. Sarah said:
Ah, there she is! Oh god I totally want to lick her face. And not just because there is chocolate frosting all over it.
Is that weird?
She is absolutely edible.
12. Honey Bunny said:
I LOVE IT!
she's just too precious for words.
13. Colleen from NJ said:
Leta looks SHOCKED that you, of all people, YOU, have marked her as the target of laughter.
mmmm, she looks magically delicious.
14. Heatheranne said:
Yes! That is what kids are for!!
15. Fish said:
As long as the child not served au flambe, One's kids are a perfect selection for desert after a fine meal.
16. SEK said:
HeeeHeee
I get to do that to my son in 2 days! Happy Birthday to our babies!
17. LadyBug said:
Chocolate therapy? I think I may need that, myself.
Very cute pic! Sweet little chocolatey-goodness Leta!
18. minxlj said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's me, every day!! :-)
19. Meggan said:
*giggles* FROSTING! She doesn't seem to mind it, which is good. Cute!
20. haplys said:
Did she do any diving in on her own or did Mama have to show her how a good pigout is done?
21. Katrina said:
Absolutely gorgeous! Did Chuck get to help clean her up? :)
22. ashly said:
Looks like a rockin' party!
23. heather said:
i think you followed the "sacred rituals upon presentation of the first chocolate cake" to the letter. in a tradition brought down from the days of our forefathers hunt, one is marked with the "kill." quite frankly if that was devils' food cake from sweet inspirations on market, i'd look the same way. happy birthday leta!
24. Erin H. said:
Wow, I finally posted before the total number of comments hit 29463846384.
At least it's chocolate cake. My friend bought a Blues Clues cake with blue frosting for her son's birthday party. He looked like a smurf for days.
25. shy said:
I think now we all understand the lack of clothing from the previous post...i wouldn't have wanted to add frosting covered clothes to the undone pile either.
26. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Again, how come no one ever thinks it's so damn cute when I wind up like this at a party?
Or is it because that there was, in fact, no chocolate cake on the premises?
27. Jen said:
Wow. That made me lol. Literally! Your theme music for this picture should be "It's My Perrogative." It's not just Brittney's perrogative anymore.
28. Giggles said:
mmm chocolate bebe, GET.IN.MA.BELLEH!
and go that awesome reddish hair...THIS is the new face of Revlon methinks.
"Here Leta models our new range of chocolate face and body masks made from pure, enriched cocoa and ..."
teehee
29. Lady said:
Swamp monster! So cute.
30. Tabatha said:
Looks like fun to me! Happy (soon) Birthday!
31. Marcia said:
awwwwww
32. beachgal said:
Aww....I had to put frosting on my son, too, he wouldn't dive in and demolish his cake. Oh well.
So adorable. Lucky Leta! Happy Birthday again, still early!
We love you Leta!
33. Sara from Belgium said:
Now I know why she hasn't any clothes on!
34. Jennay said:
YES!
35. Wicked H said:
Yummy, messy and FUN!!!!!
Great times!
36. Gerty said:
hello people...ITS HER BIRTHDAY! hence THE BIRTHDAY SUIT!
sheesh
37. heidi said:
Just one more reason to eat up her cheeks. She is just TOO CUTE!! Happy Birthday Leta!
38. Home Detention Lady said:
37th? Yeah!
Who licked her face off? That little chubby wubby....
39. Jaia said:
Coolest. Baby. Ever.
Seriously, even with the frosting everywhere, I'm sure she could still kick my ass. Happy birthday (again), Leta!
40. jenifer said:
It's not a birthday cake 'til it's all over your face! :P
41. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Please tell me that's chocolate.
42. krissy pants said:
Scrumptious bearded two?
43. closet metro said:
Johnny, if it isn't chocolate, she'll definitely need the therapy.
44. Ruthie said:
Ultra-cute. My parents have a picture of me fast asleep, face-down in my first birthday cake. At least, that's what they've always told me. With this new information, I suspect I may have been pushed.
Happy birthday Leta! You've got the craziest and funniest family in the world.
45. andrea said:
We should all be so happy and carefree at our birthdays. I resolve to dive into my own cake when I hit my next one. And that would be 33. :)
46. Anita said:
Soooooo cute!
I'm also stealing the naked birthday cake idea when the time comes. Easier cleanup and so dang cute!!!
47. Anita said:
BTW, do we get to see the whole chocolate mess that I'm imagining happened??
48. Circus Kelli said:
Weee! LOVE the 'cake-face', proof that Leta CAN get a little sweeter! I didn't think that was possible. :)
49. Becky said:
krissy pants, that is very clever. Except she can't be 'S.B. Two' until next year. For now, it must be 'S.B. One-A,' don't you think? ;)
50. Alena said:
Heather, that seems about right. My mom shoved my face in the cake on my first birthday, for a similar photo op.
51. Cheryl said:
I bet Leta loved picking it off her face and throwing it on your Persian rug... but she must have looked darn cute doing it. She is the most adorable 11 month and 27 day old baby I have ever seen!
52. Melanie/Okie said:
I Love this, I was about to fall off the deep end this morning. Look how cute you are on your pretend it is Thursday Birthday party. I don't have to be overwhelmed with life today. It really is this simple, Smiles and Chocolate Cake
53. kerrie said:
Don't worry - in a couple of years she will be doing that to you for fun so its good to get your turn in while she is young!
54. August95 said:
What a great shot, Leta looks thrilled, but I bet Chuck is happier than she is.
55. Evil Stepmother said:
Ah, first birthday. Did you have 2 cakes? One for her, and the other for Actual Consumption? Because that looks homemade, but I know even grocery stores will throw in a free little cake for a first birthday.
I dropped my fist in the center of my first birthday cake. Okay, my first three, to be honest. My neice, memorably, ate the frosting off the perimeter - turn, chomp, repeat. What did you/your kids do with the first cake?
56. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Gotta ask.... did Chuck get to help her clean up?
I have days that would be greatly improved by schmearing chocolate icing on my cheeks and forehead.
57. Moxie said:
Nothin' says maternal lovin' like a baby with chocolate pasties.
58. stella said:
she has got some goregeous hair color emerging.
and Raliegh Springs Mall is a ghost town. Aint nuttin left but Sears.
59. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Dooce, is the aforementioned "stuff you smeared on her head?" Dammit, why didn't MY mom smear chocolate on my head when I was just a tadpole? Oh no, SHE had to smear...oh.....I'm not ...um...supposed to talk about.....uh.......LOOK OVER THERE! (points, excitedly)..A DISTRACTION!
60. stella said:
did you make the smash cake? you domestic goddess you.
61. Melanie/Okie said:
Moxie I saw that. I was not going to comment but how funny is that.
62. megan said:
wow! ice cream fingers on your rug and potential chocolate icing, too!! you're braver than i! :)
63. Laurel 825 said:
Happy B-day to her. Cute kid.
64. Mary said:
I've done similar things to kids that aren't even mine. Does that mean I'll have to pay all their therapy bills? Oh dear, I think I'll have to get a couple of extra jobs.
65. Chessy said:
That is fabulous! Thank you for showing us Leta in all of her chocolate glory. :) I love the smiley face of icing. That is just priceless.
You Rock!
66. Carol said:
Leta's expression is priceless!! "Hey, Lady!! What did you just put on my face..... oh, wait, mmthmm, thmmmm. OK go ahead."
I love first bithdays! So fun.
67. The Wife said:
How friggin cute! I had the same thing happen to me for my first birthday. Except it was cherry pie. Mmmmm....pie. Happy early Birthday Leta!
68. MamaPajama said:
Question: Was she naked for the cake ritual or did you finally run out of clean clothes for her to wear?
69. Carla Beth said:
Doesn't look like chocolate. Sorry, Leta.
70. Mrs.Strizzay said:
That totally looks like poo. Maybe you should have kept a diaper on her and just left the clothes off. *shrug*
71. red said:
AWE! everyone should have a picture with cake all over their faces on their 1st birthday. :)
72. Rachel said:
Happy Birthday to Leta!!! My husband opened up the NY times yesterday morning and I looked over and said "hey, its Leta". The Dooce baby." Congrats on her first year and her new found fame.
73. Sarcastic Journalist said:
it hurts me to see icing that is not being eaten.
74. Sparky said:
Heather, A while ago my daughter sent me your story. I think Leta is the most precious baby I have ever seen Her eyes, everything about her is just BEAUTIFUL!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LETA, I think your mom is very proud of you, and rightfully so!!
75. cottoncandygirl said:
Yummy!
You'll never get the chocolate off the Prima Poppa though!
76. Library Girl said:
Ahhh she wears the Chocolate Look well :)
77. sweetney said:
caption: "i am not a monster...i am a human being!"
78. stella said:
She was in the NY Times? Where?
79. Kassi said:
Chocolate Covered Baby...
Have we ever figured out why we, as parents call our children delicious, edible, yummy?
80. Ang said:
Aaawwww, this picture makes me wanna have my own... choco cake! :P
Adorable beyond words.
81. Cathy said:
That must be good for your skin. Now is when the baby cheeks should smell like saliva from all the eating of the face.
82. Cristin said:
Priceless.
Heather - my lil one, Katie, wants to know if I can set up a play date.
seriously. She is now obsessed with Leta, after seeing her here and in the NYT, and wants me to send her pic, and invite Leta over to play with her barbies.
she is just 5, by the way.
Next time you're in NJ, let me know.
:P I promised her, guys.....y'know?
83. Big Gay Sam said:
hmmm...a new marketing ploy.
chocolate covered baby cheeks.
84. Pissy Britches said:
That totally looks like poop on her face. Poor kid! I wish I would have done that to my kid. She wouldn't touch the damn cake..everyone made fun of me for teaching her not to get dirty already. Leta, you are the cutest freakin baby EVER!
85. GEORGE! said:
you see what happens when you let her in the toilet?
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Thanks for calling yesterday, sorry I didn't pick up.
86. Erin said:
Stella: Only in a HUGE 1/2 PAGE PICTURE on the cover of the lifestyle section, I think.
There I was yesterday just standing there in Starbucks, waiting for my latte, glancing at the paper. Bombs, elections in Iraq, hmmmm...anything interesting in the other sections? HEY, THAT'S LETA! Great pic BTW!
87. Ali said:
Man, I want cake.
88. Ryan's Mom said:
If you didn't lick this off her head, you are beyond twisted.
How cute!!
89. bushra said:
ha, brilliant! i just knew there'd be an after pic!
90. hannah said:
how does she do it? she just gets cuter. it's unfair.
and why don't i look that cute with icing all over my face! there's no fairness in the world.
91. Seven said:
Aww, come on, it's chocolate! She doesn't mind a bit.
92. Gooooder said:
she seems to enjoy it!
that is what cake is for!
93. bb said:
You mean, she had to have you do that to her? I thought the logical progression would have been doing that to herself on her wee first birthday!
94. Em said:
Ohmigod. The expression on her face is priceless.Like "WHAT is going on?"
Funny. FUNNY.
95. Kendra said:
She looks absolutely stunned. That's great. :) Happy birthday to the cutie!
96. ashik said:
You did this to her... and then, then .... you couldn't resist the utter chocolatey cuteness and ate her whole! You monster! There better be more pictures of the child here tomorrow, or we will assume the worst!!
97. Corrine said:
From a parent with thousands of pictures of my own kid--this is one of the funniest pictures I've ever seen!
98. Cammie/Stacey said:
On her first birthday, my daughter wanted nothing to do with her cake. I chose to not force her. I was happy to not have to clean a mess! My son, however... grabbed his cake and smooshed it in his fingers and dove face first into it. Must be a guy thing.
And IMHO, Leta looks like her dad! :)
99. Girl From Ipanema said:
Tell her when she's older that you did it to "clear up her pores"...or just that you were getting her ready for her hard partying college years. :)
100. Desi said:
Excellent picture on the online version of the NTY, too!
http://www.nytimes.com/pages/fashion/
101. Ted said:
Great picture. The Leta stories are always good and hit home b/c our Louisa is one year old on January 30th. Thanks for writing. Louisa's chocolate here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/fickes/4050382/
102. amberlyn said:
my mom has pictures of me from my first birthday where i am sitting in my high chair in front of my cake, hysterically SCREAMING AND CRYING.
i believe this set the precedent for many birthdays to come.
really, i couldn't handle all the attention - the cameras, the people staring at me, strapped into a mechanism from which there was NO ESCAPE.
this is why i will never be a rock star.
and this is also why, from the looks of that picture, that leta will be a ROCK STAR. or a chocolate-snorting freak, hanging out at bakeries, begging for another hit.
ah, but i ramble.
happy early birthday to leta!
103. Southern Fried Girl said:
Oh my God, that has to be one of the most hilarious pics ever!!! Look at her little face under the icing. She looks so mild mannered about the whole thing.
104. Desi said:
Haha, NYT, even. :)
(Free sign up required to see the entire article on the NYT, but the picture is there on the front page before you have to sign up.)
105. Kate said:
I remember one of the first 1st bdays I attended as an adult...
The boy was sitting in his high chair, surrounded by expectant adults.
An ENTIRE cake was placed before him.
He looked up at the crowd with an un-understanding expression.
He looked down at the cake.
He looked up at the crowd again, just to be sure.
Suddenly, his entire face was IN the cake.
It was like the kid folded in half! There was no attempt on his part to bring parts of the cake up to his mouth, he literally DOVE IN.
It was great!
106. becky said:
"mom, how could you DO this to me?"
107. Sherri said:
What a great picture!
You know, had you not put icing all over her face, I'm sure whe would've done it herself.
She's got that "whatchoo lookin' at" expression going on. As if having a face full of icing is the norm.
108. TulsaOkie said:
That's a cute picture. She looks a little dazed and confuzed, as if to say "Um mom, what are you doing with the brown stuff?".
Great article in the NY Times.. just so I could read it I signed up. I hope they don't send me ass loads of junk mail.
109. kari g. said:
mmmmmmm......yummy chocolatey cheeks. bet you just wanted to gobble her up!
Happy 1st Leta!!
110. Jenie said:
Ha! I just switched to Firefox and I can FINALLY!! see the numbers!! Sorry...just had to share that....
111. Michelle Brady said:
That's totally what my little girl looked like at *her* first birthday! It is a rite of passage.
How adorable!
112. Dazed & Confuzed said:
I didn't register for the NY Times. I went to http://www.bugmenot.com/ and entered the NY Times URL and they gave me a login and password. Glee!
113. Dang cold... said:
Nice way to start off a Monday morning in the office. Hope you all had a blast. :)
114. tpaquin said:
Happy first birthday beautiful chocolate faced girl.
Save some of your birthday loot for whoopie cushions and itching powder, then you can get mom back for the picture.
115. Erin H. said:
My husband saw the picture and noted that at our child's first birthday party, we will not need to stage the cake-face if it takes after him. He has the amazing ability to get more of his meal on his face than in his mouth. Give him a piece if pizza, and half of it will end up somewhere between his nostrils and his hairline.
116. Philipp said:
Ms. Armstrong,
if ever you want to refer someone to the NYT article, you can use this evergreen no-registration-required link: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/30/fashion/30moms.html?ex=1264741200&en=6...
This is being made possible by the folks at http://nytimes.blogspace.com/genlink
117. Mir said:
Oh, Heather. That's not a therapy-worthy picture. You have so much to learn, grasshopper. That picture is adorable. It's the pictures of her naked with a potty on her head and such that merit therapy. This one hardly even requires an apology. ;)
118. sue said:
She is so cute
119. Pascale Soleil said:
Holy MOSES that's a lot of Google ad money!
Nice that you're doing something generous with it. But still... yikes. One bows one's head in respect at the amount of traffic that must represent.
120. victoria said:
Good God, the NYT TOTALLY leads the reader to believe that Heather was interviewed for that story, and that she is being quoted LIVE. I now no longer have faith in the hallowed NYT! If you can't have faith in the NYT, you can't have faith in ANY journalism, which means that . . . you have no trustworthy source of information except your own eyes and ears.
I can't describe how shocked I am by this. I had always trusted journalists to do their best to tell the truth, not mislead me into thinking that they had researched a story more thoroughly than in fact they had.
I just can't believe this. The NYT sacrificed accuracy for the sake of puffery . . . when they didn't even NEED to: they could have just been honest about the fact that they were quoting from dooce.com (although I don't remember reading those statements here).
In other words, they could have made the limits of their research explicit, without sacrificing ANY of the content of the story. But they chose to imply that they'd done more than they had to make themselves look like a better paper.
What a sham. What a nakedly self-serving and pointless sham. They sacrificed journalistic integrity and the story gained nothing but the slight suggestion that its facts were better supported than in fact they were.
121. KTP said:
Congratulations, Heather, on the NYT article. (By the way, the twist on the article kinda reminds me of that Sex and the City episode when Carrie was featured in an article as "Single..and Fabulous?" instead of "Fabulous!") Anyway, my mom sent me the link to the article and it made me happy because thus far nobody I know even knows what a blog IS, much less do they actually take the time to read mine. Plus, I've been reading your blog for a while, and this article makes me feel like my favorite underground music just hit the top 40, and I can feel like I knew it first.
122. Erin said:
It's official...Leta is now edible. Praise to the chocolate frosting gods!
123. Toren said:
I can just picture Chuck sitting underneath the high chair, twiching and convulsing from all the chocolate shrapnel he picked up. Happy Birthday (early) to you Leta!
COngratulations Heather, you made it a year!
124. dooce said:
victoria, i was interviewed, twice for this article. but i was lead to believe that it wasn't going to be so harsh on people who write about their children on their websites. i don't think anyone who was interviewed for this article knew that it would be so harsh. that was what i was saying.
125. becca said:
Going to read the article now... Just dropping in to say Happy Birthday, Leta; and to add you shouldn't put post photos of chocolate-frosted babies, in case there are hungry pregnant women viewing, such as yours truly. Hee. Off to eat a danish...
126. Amanda said:
My mother used to put pancakes on my head and call them little edible berets. Then I had children and put pancakes on their heads. Everyone should start family traditions involving food on heads/faces. Way to go Dooce!
127. JP said:
So the cuteness that is Leta will have to step aside for just a bit so that I can mention the piece of heaven Tequila that is CORRALEJO. Snazzy blue bottle...THE BEST TEQUILA EVER. I'm not joking.
I've learned a lot about tequila from the Latin Lover that I married...I'm just saying.
128. JP said:
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY LETA!!!
129. ella's ma said:
Congrats on surviving Leta's first Birthday party!! For my Ella's first, we threw a luau, with 50 people, some of whom travelled from around the country to be here for it. Talk about pressure. I finally unclenched after about 4 maitais. Luckily, we could have the party in the backyard-it was June. You are a FAR braver woman than I, to let 30 people into your house for a birthday party.
130. the niffer said:
I'm wondering if that white chair she's in is still white.
I love that the comments always come around to poo (Bucky, Closet, Mrs.Striz - I'm looking at you). I have the biggest craving for chocolate icing and a buring desire to take a dump.
131. Amy said:
Just when you thought they couldn't possibly come up with a new dessert.....
LETAMISU!
132. holly said:
Your father could have used bugmenot. Yay for password/login sharing!
133. Annejelynn said:
CHOMP! SLURP! Buurrp...
Sorry, I just had to gobble her up whole! WAY WAY WAY TOOO CUTE! choco covered baby~ yum!
134. kristine said:
Victoria,
NYT didn't know who they were messing with either ;)
135. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Niffer -- What can I say? I've finally found a community full of bright, interesting people who think poop is as funny as I do!
Thanks, Heather, for giving us a home for our scatological giggling.
Hee hee. . .poop!
136. Amanda B. said:
Chocolate covered baby!
137. kc said:
Boy, you learn something new every day. Not being a parent myself, I found it a little odd that anyone would smear food on their child's head, and then I come to learn that it's a widespread (no pun intended) and commonly accepted parenting phenomonon. I'll be darned.
Either way, I'm craving chocolate frosting now.
138. Carol said:
The NYT is just jealous (and therefore, bending negative) because most people would rather read "mommy (or daddy) blogs" than their paper!
Dooce - you are very generous to donate that much money - good for you!
139. PiscusFiche said:
Gaaaaah. Just read the NYTimes article. It's more like an editorial, isn't it? Nice of the reporter to have shared his hypothesis before hand, eh? Or maybe he's projecting....
140. Michael said:
When i have children, I demand that they come out and stay like that.
You know, smeared in chocolate.
141. Dang cold... said:
When we hear about journalists being paid by the Bush campaign to prop him up, small time, cynical, sour grape, opportunistic journalists like mr. hochman (or was it hockman) need to be put in perspective. He's a little guy with a little job. I fill a small pair of shoes in this cubicle but I keep my nose clean and don't bullshit around at the expense of other people. Not wise to gamble with your integrity, especially in the journalism arena.
142. Busy Mom said:
Coupons to buy Krystals? I'm impressed. Great picture of the birthday girl!
143. mihow said:
I can think of nothing more exciting right now than being covered in chocolate cake.
144. Bruno said:
I just read the bizarre article. The dude has no children and has no respect for those who take care of them. I am amazed that anyone could read these blogs and still remain so ignorant.
145. Annejelynn said:
VOTE DOOCE! -SHE’s GOT 4 BLOGGIES NOMINATIONS! http://2005.bloggies.com/
146. Bruno said:
I wonder if the author of the article has an irrational need to be validated by HIS work. I'm quite angry. I feel as though he has slighted my friend.
147. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Speaking of poo.....
It is *totally* freaky when you speed poo (as I usually do) and when you wipe its clean (gotta love that) _BUT_ when you look in the toilet there is no poo.
You feel it come out, but that is the *only* proof any poo vacated. Freaks me out everytime.
148. The Wife said:
That article was pretty bad. But the picture of Leta made it worthwhile. Totally awesome picture.
149. sleepingmommy said:
My first time commenting at Dooce, but am a long time reader.
I just will never understand all of the mommy blog hate and disdain that goes around. How is what we do any different than how our parents bragged to everyone and their dogs about us as kids and showed our pics whether those people wanted to see them or not.
If you don't want to hear about my life (which includes being a mom, how dare I?) then don't read my blog. If you don't want to see pics of my kids then shut your browser window. That's why we have keyboards and a mouse for these computers.
150. Cristina said:
On her second birthday my oldset pinched her candle out instead of blowing it out. If you want the tape of it you see all of the adults moving in slow motion to stop her but we weren't fast enough.
151. Kassi said:
Heather...I don't have a registration with the NY times, and I was able to view the article...so your dad has no excuse :)
152. Fran said:
It looks like a little chocolate butterfly is kissing Leta on the nose. How cute is that?!
153. evan said:
how was the sugar high afterwards?
154. La Pixiatrix said:
I apologize if this has already been said and I admit I only read most of the article...
But I just want to throw something out there. Mommy blogs, and blogs in general which are devoted to very personal subjects, are indeed self-absorbed. That is what they are about, that is what makes them compelling.
Writing about shit and breast feeding and boobs and depression with an "even hand" is just not that interesting.
When your readers are primarily engaged with your day-to-day adventures and your minute-to-minute emotions, focusing on global politics or the tsunami in an extended way just doesn't work.
Believe me, there are plenty of blogs out there that serve as examples of how boring non-self-absorbed writing can be.
P.S. No human being is objective, and nothing any human being writes is objective, no matter what forum.
155. Beth said:
Yay! Now she's even more edible!
156. la depressionada said:
I have a question. If seeing your daughter's face in the NYT -- and the concommitant recognition -- is so signficant for you, why not move to an urban center and genuinely pursue a career that can give you that kind of validation? I just find this skirting the issue so confusing.
157. victoria said:
Oh, thanks Heather, I was freaking out there for a minute. Yeah, journalists always betray their sources -- they have to cozy up to you to get you to talk freely, then they do what they want with your quotes. It always leaves the source feeling violated to see their words and experiences used to promote what they will often view as a false, hostile, or biased agenda. But I'm not as shocked by this bit of trickery and betrayal (as awful as must be for you) since it's a common phenomenon and not considered a violation of journalistic ethics for the writer to dupe the source, so long as the reader isn't duped.
Still -- the article is so biased that it borders on falsehood. Nowhere does the writer indicate what compelling writing one finds on mommy blogs -- even for readers like me who are childless by choice. I read blogs like dooce.com because they're brilliant -- not because I have some sort of voyeuristic fascination with somebody else's poopy diapers, or because I'm a desperate mom in need of validation.
My m.i.l. recently asked me if I'd read any good books lately, and I recommended this site because it's the best writing I've found anywhere in recent months. And I'm a picky reader. The NYT writer made it seem as though this site is just Heather's chance to expose her linty navel to the world, not the highly crafted, vivid, funny, smart writing that it is.
The NYT's slant is so wrong that it verges on lying. But the saving grace here is that NYT readers can simply check out dooce.com for themselves -- in contrast to other, non-web news, which is not so easy for readers to check against its representation in the media.
158. Fiona said:
Well said, La Pixiatrix. Most blogs, by definintion, are self-absorbed. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with that. Nor is there anything wrong with NY Times writer acknowleding that fact in print. As a poster above noted, if we don't like it, we simply visit another web page.
159. gordon said:
Not to sound like a preachy person, but please tell me Chuck didn't lick any chocolate off of Leta...chocolate (especially Baker's chocolate) quite posionous to dogs yah know.
160. Mrs.Strizzay said:
THIS is freaking poo-rific, just for the record.
http://tinyurl.com/3l33r
161. nstig8r said:
I checked out the Times article. It does leave the reader w/ the idea that these blogs are written by a bunch of self absorbed people who need attention & therefore use chronicles of their child's development to get it. I never would have thought that to be the case. I also thought.....how are these blogs all that different from articles written by Dave Barry and the like? Being able to see humour in normal, everyday, otherwise unremarkable things is a gift. It's just that some people don't get paid by major publishers to share that gift. More "mommy blogs" doesn't mean people will get tired of them all. It means people will continue to be attracted to the writing which is truly good all on it's own, regardless of topic. You were a witty & talented writer back before Leta as much as you are now. Thanks for writing this site. I enjoy it daily.
162. Kimberly said:
I'm not surprised at the harshness of the article. Many 'real' journalists do anything they can to disparage blogs and the people behind them because they're shocked by the amount of news broken and generated by blogs and bloggers. (think Rathergate) Plus, they are truly threatened by this new medium that they're not an important part of.
Therefore, we get these type of articles - 'blogs are self-serving.' As if the only 'proper' type of blog is the blog with nothing but links to other peoples' news stories. Drives me nuts. I'd MUCH prefer to read a blog about one's life than recycled news links that I can find on my own!
163. manda said:
Sorry if this has already been said, but it takes too darn long to read all of the comments. (my childs nap times are short, and there is much house to be cleaned). Anyway, on the NY times article, it was mentioned that over 40,000 people visit this site. If everyone just donated $1, Heather (who makes my life much saner!) would be able to make a living off of this-which she should. It's great reading! (Or donate it-it's up to her. That was a nice gesture, by the way.)
That's just my two cents worth (or is that $1 worth?)
:-)
164. Alicia said:
La depressionada, maybe it's because Dooce's career is not to be found in an urban center... it's at home, caring for her family, -- a HUGE job for which lots of SAHMs don't get enough recognition. So an NYT picture is great! and fun! and awesome! and it doesn't mean that dooce should go back to work so she can seek validation from co-workers.
165. Torrie said:
I'm sorry, but does Leta use a binky?
166. Margaret Mary said:
Great pic! Leta is so cute. I love the pic of her in the NY times. How exciting!
--MM
167. megchem said:
Torrie, go here: http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/06_10_2004.html
168. La Pixiatrix said:
Kimberly,
Excellent point. There is a reason for the journalist to disparage the blog. Even beyond generating more readership for their own article.
I wonder how many non-NYT but regular Dooce readers registered and read the NYT article.
169. Wendy said:
Leta's wispy, coppery hair is so pretty. Happy Birthday baby.
170. jules said:
Wendy's was out of baked potatoes.
How will i get through the rest of the day?
Does Leta come with sprinkles too?
(:3
171. mg2 said:
did she give you choco flavored kisses?
172. Beth in MO said:
Where did the NYTimes get her picture?
173. Minda said:
wow...I had no idea Leta's birthday was almost the same (or the same?) as my daughter, Bethany. I've been reading for so long and didn't know that. Happy Birthday kiddo!
174. Lala said:
At least you didn't rub it on her nipples. THAT would be sick!
175. Katherine said:
Looks scrumptious! Happy birthday, Leta!
Hearkening back to Chuckacabra--did that dude commenting on your hubby's site ever send the "ACTUAL PICTURE" of a chupacabra? 'Cause that would rule.
176. Amanda B. said:
It's awesome that Leta was on the front page of the NYT. As for the article, that's just the press doing what they do best. Creating draaaama.
Dateline did a story on a town in N. Mississippi a few years ago, while I was living there. The story was supposed to be about a serial killer that was murdering elderly people, in hopes of catching him.
They started the story off with an old woman playing "Dixie" on the piano. The next shot (and the only shot of a black person) was of this guy walking down the street *with no shoes on*.
They didn't really talk so much about the serial killer as they did about the gal in town who was boffing the local sheriff for Crime-Stopper money.
Out of all the people they could have interviewed about either story they chose 3 redneck beauticians.
It was the biggest bunch of bullshit I have ever seen. I learned then just how silly it is to believe anything you see or read even if it is written by "real journalists".
Don't believe the hype.- Flava Flav
177. carmen said:
Classic Picture. I have been telling my teenagers for YEARS that I will pay for their therapy. I have even encouraged them to start a list of stuff to talk about when they get around to hiring a counselor. They think I'm joking. I'm DEAD serious.
178. red said:
Heather - the pic of you that Jon has up today..... YOWSAS. that's all i'm sayin'.
179. jess said:
I don't know how it's possible, but every picture of her is cuter and cuter! This whole first birthday is so exciting! Congrats again on making the NYT! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks - I'm kind of an !-addict)
180. Bruno said:
re: la depressionada - Uh..wouldn't you be excited to see your kid in the Sunday NYTimes? sigh. How is that about validation? It's just super cool!
181. Dang cold... said:
Why should bloggers be viewed as self-absorbed? Blogs are forums for which people communicate with others, exchange stories, ideas and points of view. If they aren't doing that, they're just horsing around with eachother for pure enjoyment. Truely self-aborbed people wouldn't bother going through the trouble of setting up a line of communication with others in any way, shape or form. The reason is because they're just that, self-absorbed. Plain, basic, meat and potatoes. Submerged in their world, doing their own things with their own people and being right comfortable with it. I suppose it depends on your point of view but keeping a blog takes time and effort. The blogger has to really be committed to it. A "self-absorbed" person, as I would define one, wouldn't give a damn about sharing anything with anyone who wasn't of consequence. I see a contradiction in terms.
Strange that it all get twisted around into something thats perceived as self-serving. If there's an ulterior motive that bloggers have I've missed it.
182. Jess (another one) said:
I was going to post this yesterday, after reading the article. I got all bent out of shape and figured I'd not be all pissy on someone else's site--- but really. Self-absorbed? Why is it when THEY publish writers writing about raising children (Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry) it's great. But if you self-publish, you are self-obsorbed. I'll tell you why--- because you are cutting THEM out of the picture.
Harumpf.
You just keep doing your thing.
Over $1000 for Tsunami aid. Self-absorbed my arse.
183. Sammi said:
When I heard the NPR piece I was disappointed, and now reading this NY Times article was disappointing too. I loved hearing your voice, Heather, and seeing Leta's picture in the NY Times is totally awesome! But that NPR piece seemed to be only about "losing one's job because of blogging" and now this NY Times article seems to portray bloggers as "self centered". When is someone going to report on the true story: Why 40,000 people visit your site each day?
184. sweetney said:
i disagree with pixatrix. self-absorbed, in common coinage, has a negative connotation to it, and i think its pretty clear that the people at the NYT are hep to that. had they used the term "self-reflective" or something of that ilk, i'd feel differently. but the triple-underscoring of how excessively self-involved parent bloggers are in what they're doing (to seek "validation" no less) suggests a condemnation. as in: we're busy being all narcissistic and shit, but have we thought about how jr's prom date is gonna google him in 16 years? might we in fact be scarring him for life?!?! have we -- in our drunk-with-self-obsession-stupors -- lost sight of our motherly/fatherly obligations and responsibilities?!?!
whatta bunch of hooey. if it pleases the author, he can bite me now.
185. la depressionada said:
Alicia, I think you too are skirting the issue. One particularly insidious side effect of 25 years of neo-conservatism is the celebration of motherhood -- indeed all parenthood -- as though this generation were the first to ever engage in the endeavour.
Also, it's fine to want more, but it's important to admit it. If not for yourself, then for those who are fighting that fight.
186. leontine said:
The girl who writes design*sponge (http://designsponge.blogspot.com) got screwed over by the NY Times this week too. And they once ran a horribly unflattering photo of me, where I looked like I was wearing fake teeth from a gumball machine. I really don't think they are very nice people.
187. megan said:
wow - i can't believe how wrong that article got blogging. or maybe it's us?? all the hundreds of us who are, apparently, completely inept parents with multitudes of questions and concerns which seemingly no one else has. it's not honesty we're writing through our blogs - it's payback to the precious children whom we love more than anything else - including ourselves and our signifigant others - to use against them during their adolescence!
damn - we've been caught, folks. the gig is up. the big, bad, NY Times found us out.
ps - ADORABLE photo of Leta none the less! :) :)
188. mihow said:
I'm pissed off at the NYT for another reason entirely. Some asshat here in Brooklyn keeps stealing my paper from my front porch. And when I called to complain, they said they would have someone call me back within 48 hours so we could agree on a place to hide it.
That was a week and a half ago. No one ever called. Talk about self-absorbed.
Or something.
189. bigezbear said:
You are, far and away, a GREAT mom! I hope to follow the whole cycle of Leta's growing up: the teeange years when she turns on you, then her new-mother years where you pay her back for EVERYTHING by using her spawn as lethal weapon!
190. Fish said:
Summary of today's post on Symbioticfishes:
ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!
(and my kid)
The End.
191. mihow said:
Summary of post at mihow.com: Toby Joe's chafed thighs and Running Dog's ingrown ass hair.
192. Annejelynn said:
I love what sweetney said at 12:37PM, 01.31.2005:
..."whatta bunch of hooey. if it pleases the author, he can bite me now."
193. Annejelynn said:
LMAO - Fish! ME ME TOO! (and my kid)
194. Ms. said:
I don't know if y'all have seen this, but it may be wise to direct your charitable donations to more needy causes: Darfur, Iraq, Congo, your local ghetto. The Red Cross doesn't need any more money for tsunami aid.
"On January 26, the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies announced that the $1.2 billion U.S. dollars (1.4 billion Swiss francs) pledged worldwide is sufficient to meet the costs of the entire Red Cross tsunami relief program."
http://www.redcross.org/tsunamirelief/faq/#know
195. Michael said:
To respond to what megan said at 12:51, I think the blog world has in some cases taken the place of the extended and close families that came before. While it's not the same as having a physical network of people in close proximity to you, the networks of information and support that people form online can take the place of ears and mouths that listened and advised in years past that were cousins and grandparents and other family members that all occupied the same town or nearby towns.
196. Michael said:
Leta's nose looks a little piggy in this photo. Which I guess fits with the "pig in shit" look she's got going on. (not meant as derogatory)
197. wes said:
that was really the ugliest goddamn cake i've ever seen. it brings back all kind of pleasant memories of my mom's horrific attempts at baking.
i think the cake looks better on her face, actually.
198. Michael said:
New header ideas:
"Dooce.com: Gunning for the NY Times since 2005"
"Dooce.com: Outgunning the NY Times since 2004" (in terms of hits per content)
199. Big Gay Sam said:
It's called professional snobbery. Journalists are a little pissed off that blogs offer better, more imformative and quicker news than they can offer. Plus blogs are global and can be accessed at any time, anywhere.
Don't worry. It's just jealousy.
200. Gabrielle Adams said:
I remember that first birthday of my son's. We took the very good advice of a friend and spread out an old queen sized flat sheet on the floor, put cake and baby in the middle, and let him have at it! No worries, he wasn't walking yet at that age either, not that it slowed him down much, as he'd mastered the "commando belly crawl". Happy birthday Leta. May you always have the best this world has to offer, and none of the worst. Jon and Heather, you survived the first year. Congrats, and brace for the terrible twos!
201. Kit said:
Leta's hair is definitely getting long enough to do a fantastic EmoHawk. I hear icing makes a good gel.
Happy birthday to the Leta!
202. Amanda B. said:
Fish- you are a sexy bitch.
Pix- I understand what you are saying.
Big Gay Sam- why won't you love me?
203. Morgana said:
I think the NYT article is completely fair. The sad truth is that many parent (and especially, mother) blogs ARE me-me-me-me-me collections of self-centered drivel that mostly serves the purpose of drawing attention to the author(ess), thus boosting her self-confidence.
Dooce is occasionally amusing, but it's the exception that proves the rule.
Basically I am sick and tired of the self-importance of bloggers as well as ponderous articles about blogging as a "hot trend".
I don't give a poop, even if it's smeared across the face of a toddler and then photographed.
204. shy said:
morgana:
then why are you here?
205. Erin said:
Everyone is looking for, and needs validation. It doesn't matter if you are a high-powered executive, a journalist, or a SAHM. It is a basic human need to feel like what you are doing is important.
For moms who choose to blog, maybe the blogging is a way to feel valuable and connected. Being a mom doesn't preclude a person's need to have connections to the outside world, or to need a hobby or an outlet to voice frustrations and feel like others are going through the same thing that you are.
Back in the day, moms stayed home with their kids because they didn't have a choice. Now, when moms choose to stay home, it is a CHOICE, and they can voice their needs and be honest when it is hard or frustrating.
This comment is coming from someone who is not a parent, and is in fact in medical school, so will probably never be a SAHM. But I think that being critical of someone else's choices or how they spend their time is a sign that you are questioning your own life choices.
We all read Dooce for different reasons--to connect with other moms, because the writing is good, to get a daily laugh, to see the great pictures, or b/c of the community that has developed in the comments section. Similarly, I'm sure that mom-bloggers all blog for their own reasons too--as a hobby, to voice frustrations, to connect with other moms, to keep out of town friends and family updated, or because they love to write. It was judgemental of the NYT writer to assign a negative motivation (self absorbed validation-seeking) to what other people do.
Thank you, Dooce, for my daily laugh, and for the good writing. Whatever your motivations for keeping this website (which readers have a pretty good idea of, even if the NYT doesn't), I hope that you keep sending the laughs our way.
BTW, how many Erins are posting comments here!?
206. Amanda B. said:
Morgana- you're just pissed off because you only have a few hit points left.
207. eeyorena said:
(Super cute pic Leta! Chocolate is your color.)
Ahem.
Not being a parent, but contemplating it, I think the NYT got it ALL WRONG.
When my mom and possibly your mom were raising us, they could talk over the backyard fence. They could ask questions and share a laugh because, in parenting, laughs must be shared in order to prevail with one's sanity intact.
In parenting, THERE IS NO MANUAL THAT COVERS ALL SITUATIONS. Each of these little bundles of arms and legs and screaming is so different that it is a RELIEF to read about someone else's experiences. To know that it isn't just you...it isn't a case of everyone else "getting it" and you don't. It feels good to read these blogs and know, "Well, okay, that happened to her/him, and they lived, so I'll live, right?"
Did the media trash Jean Kerr for her book, "Please Don't Eat the Daisies" in the 50's? (Which was made into a movie and tv series.)Was Erma Bombeck self-absorbed when she wrote "At Wit's End" in the 60's? HELL NO! Time Magazine put Erma Bombeck on the cover, FFS! Why? Because she was speaking out against this "you must be the perfect mommy or you've failed myth: that society has saddled many parents (especially moms) with. Bombeck was a passionate feminist.
So, I'm all for parent bloggers. Keeping it real for our generation. And Hochman? You may bite me.
208. Gillian said:
Heather- you DO look like Leta, at least in this picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/blurb/3394499/
Same long lashes and wide-eyed expression, one might say. =)
And Michael- urk?! I know you aren't being malicious, but "Leta" and "pig in shit" in the same paragraph makes me cringe a little...
209. eeyorena said:
la depressionada? You may also bite me. Neo-conservatives want to banish any women who they can't use to further their agenda back to the pre-feminist age. Blogging about the realities of balancing parenthood and life and word and health (versus the myths) flies in the face of this and I'm all for it. Every molecule of my lefty self.
210. sweetney said:
morgana, some would call your post troll-like.
but i won't, because my ego is so fragile and my need for validation so great that i don't want you to dislike me.
211. Home Detention Lady said:
What I don't understand is why people feel the need to comment on something that they CHOOSE to read, but then upon finishing the reading, they decide they're pissed and want to say something. If you don't like what I (or another blogger, like dooce and all ya'll) have written, then move the fuck on. If I come across something that doesn't interest me, or bores me, or doesn't trip my trigger, I don't read it. I don't check back a few days later to see if what I disliked before is something I STILL dislike now.
I wrote a post last week on my site about my own personal opinions on alternative schools and the people I deal with while I'm at MY job. It was MY opinion on MY blog. I was not representing any company, business, or organization. A fellow blogger felt the need to call me ignorant, bash me for not having my own children, and then tell me that she would never let her daughter meet me. Great! Who cares! I was voicing my opinion, because I can.
These people who feel the need to name call and just plain act like assholes because they don't like what someone has said are wasting their time, if you ask me. Just like La Depresso or whatever her name is and the other one, Magda-something. You KEEP COMING BACK to see what people wrote back to you. You must get off on this shit, this internet conflict, and that must self satisfy YOUR ass.
212. Big Gay Sam said:
Amanda B. said at 01:27PM, 01.31.2005:
Big Gay Sam- why won’t you love me?
..............................
Because I'm a rolling stone baby. The road is my mistress. Remember me fondly.
213. Girl.A said:
Leta, I like your Choco-Cheeks!
I wonder if those people who are bitching about the me me me me thing are the same ones who teach their kids that it is necessary to put themselves down after every activity. Just in case anyone should think they are too proud of themselves or having fun.
Ego and empathy can co-exist. It's called human nature.
214. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Girl.A, you're soooooo dreamy when you think deep.
215. Dang Cold... said:
Dear Archie Bunker, I mean Morgana,
Why ARE you here???
216. Carol said:
Blah blah blah... concommitant recognition...blah fucking blah blah...neo-conservative... blah blah blabbity blah. Blah.
I just like the pictures.
217. Thalia said:
As if her cheeks weren't getting eaten enough!
teehee.
218. Annejelynn said:
"mommy blogs"...how lovely.
but yes, I LOVE IT! I DO! hey, I'm allll for validating Dooce!
Soooo, (here I go again) submit your votes! - she's got 4 BLOGGIES NOMINATIONS!
http://2005.bloggies.com/
In the last two mon., nearly 45 friends and mere aquaintances of mine have all been turned on to that which is dooce.com --- I'm a living, breathing 'dooce.com' promotional! Hey, when something makes me happy, I wanna share and let others share in the joy!
219. Yasmin said:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, she is just too cute for words.
220. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Well I feel sorry for ALL of you. I *glaZed* over the article and focused on the picture.
221. Girl.A said:
Bucky,
So sweet of you - but acourse I'm thinkin deep. I've shit 4 brains today!
222. Jenie said:
I think it's funny the article said Mommy blogs, when a few of those mentioned were Daddy blogs....however, it was nice to see 2 of my favorite blogs get national attention this weekend
223. laurenbove said:
Those eyes are amazing. Too bad Salt Lake is so far from CT. I think Sam and Leta would make an excellent couple. (see Sam on phone pix at my blog, I think you'd agree.)
224. Annejelynn said:
Yeah, Mrs. Strizzay -I'm w/ ya! --think I said something similar yesterday, focusing upon Leta, thrilled to just see her lil' sweet cheeked face! and that that took prescidence, over the article itself...
225. Annejelynn said:
"precedence" - I sit at my compooter corrected....
226. Bruno said:
I have decided to ignore negative people. Life is too short to deal with shit disturbers. I love Dooce and enjoy coming here everyday. I feel like I know her. Sort of creepy but ... shit..am being positive!!!
227. Tammy said:
You may want to take back the bit about the therapy. Before The Way Back Machine gets hold of it. Otherwise she'll use it against you later.
228. susannah said:
I'm one of the slow ones who has just discovered Dooce. (You owe me three days of TOTAL worthlessness at work by the way because all I've been able to do is read about your life...) This is too cute. Like, makes my cheeks hurt preciously adorably cute.
And I've been thinking about this whole "screwing up children thing" and I'm pretty sure that's what parents are SUPPOSED to do. I mean, I think my parents used to lie in bed at night and try and figure out ways that they could fuck with our heads. I think this whole smearing of the chocolate on the face is pretty minor. God, think how much worse it could be. Imagine if she DIDN'T WEAR SOCKS!!
229. Cassy said:
Too adorable!!! I would definitely do that to my kids. I don't think I could wait a whole year to do it, though.
230. Colleen from NJ said:
I happen to be twice as absorbant as the leading brand, thanks to my blog.
231. Carol said:
Colleen - you are funny!
232. sara said:
Years from now, all you may remember is that your lovely daughter was in the New York Times - and so close to her birthday. What a great memory. Frame it, put it on the wall. enjoy.
233. Trance said:
It's great to be called self-absorbed and (quote) "really far up your own ass" by people who still, inexplicably, READ YOU EVERY DAY.
Mer?
Essentially weblogs are still diaries of sorts. Of course they're self-absorbed. Who the fuck else is Dooce supposed to write about, is she supposed to pick a "fan" every week and let fly?
People that spend too much time analyzing blogs mystify me. Just read and enjoy. Or don't.
234. Trance said:
That sounded so totally righteous and indignant. Apologies. :D
235. Torrie said:
Morgana- go away. Is it validating to rain on people's parades?
236. Jenn said:
Leta has the most gorgeous and expresive eyes.
Dooce thanks for the stories..thanks for the memories..thanks for making my first few minutes of work F-U-C-K-I-N-G GREAT!
You truly are the wind beneath my wings...
Your devoted reader,
Jenn
237. MrsDoF said:
Happy Birthday cake, Leta! This picture is definitely a keeper.
And for eeyorena #207
When I was in high school study hall, I was reading a book by Erma Bombeck. The fellow across the table grabbed it out of my hands and exclaimed "What are you doing reading this?! My Mother reads this!"
Well, I thought Erma was funny even then, and today I am a proud owner of a first edition of her MOTHERHOOD: THE SECOND OLDEST PROFESSION.
Thank you for making the connections, because Dooce.com also makes me grin most of the time.
238. lawbrat said:
I did the same thing with my son on his first birthday. Except he had blue frosting, and we purchased a cheap shower curtain and put it under his high chair.
Dooce mentioned my boyfriend on her blog!! I cant wait to tell him. (Phillip from liquidweb) He actually told me about Dooce.com and thought I may like it. From the first time I started reading Dooce, I LOVED IT! I read through most of the archives to gain an understanding of the 'now' posts, and I give a shout out to Heather for her honesty and sense of humor.
239. laurenbove said:
Oops, Sorry, I said Sam and Leta would be cute together. Then I told you to see for yourself at my blog. DUH! Little did I know, his pix slid off my first page and into archive oblivion. Sorry Dooce. You can now verify my opininon.
Merci Bien!
240. Lushlife said:
First up - Happy birthday Leta (for Thursday) that is. 2ndly, I can understand the reasons why I shouldn't write about my work life on my journal (even though I live work for most of my waking time despite the fact I have 2 children). But when I write about life outside my work, writing about my children is considered self-centred? So be it - it is MY online journal after all- I don't exactly have the time to research and write a book at this point in my life. I think its all about writing - if you want to write well, then write about what you know best. And I think Dooce writes extremely well which is why I come back.
241. Renae said:
Good lord, but that's funny.
Mmm, chocolate!
242. tk said:
Yay!!!! "Chocolate covered Baby" picture.... LOVE it!!!!
TK
243. holly said:
I love how morgana came all the way here just to "not give a poop"
244. Lala said:
So Heather,
Are they good for anything else? Besides the frosting thing. I'd love a list. Seriously. There's been a lot of talk around here about having one of those buggers. You've led me to understand well the trials and tribulations (bless you) but can we itemize the perks?
I'm not sure the oft cited 'smiles' or 'giggles' is going to do it for me.
245. laurenbove said:
Thanks for those mad props, AmandaB. You're obviously witty and fun, but a genius too? Uh Oh, triple threat in the house! Can I get a "HaaaaaayMEN!"
246. Annejelynn said:
This below soooo applies to today's photo...
DG said at 07:55PM, 01.08.2005:
Sometimes, when I visit dooce.com, I fight the urge to LICK my screen.
Yes, despite all the Poop-Talk, THAT’S how tasty I find HERE to be.
247. Alyssa said:
Boy oh boy, don't ask me why for one single instant I thought that was poop, before I read the caption...
I was thinking too much of my own history with my 9 month old.
248. Amanda B. said:
Lauren- me? a genius? Evil genius, Maybe. That's about it.
If I was a genius, maybe Big Gay Sam wouldn't have walked out on me.
249. Amanda B. said:
Oh, no, wait. That's *penis* not genius.
250. Sandy said:
I read the NYT article too and had the exact same reaction, "Wow Leta is so cute, but what is this validation crap?" I read this blog because I just think you're funny. You were funny when you didn't have a baby and you're funny as a mom. So they can suck it! (By the way a brilliant phrase and I was so pleased to know others out there were using it, in a way it made me feel, well...validated.)
251. Ms. Belle said:
Hey Heather, guess what? I went to register (under a fake name) on the NY Times website so I could see the article and Leta's picture (CUUUUUTTE pic, by the way).....I chose the user name "SUCKIT" but it came back and told me that I would have to be "SUCKIT64" because apparently SUCKIT0-SUCKIT63 were already taken. That's awesome!
252. Big Gay Sam said:
Amanda B. said at 04:23PM, 01.31.2005:
If I was a genius, maybe Big Gay Sam wouldn’t have walked out on me.
...................................
We are more than the sum of our parts. But some parts we just can't do without sister girlfriend ;op
253. steph said:
That little dollop of icing on her nose is totally precious!
254. patti said:
Hey, today is MY birthday and since I just gave birth last Wednesday, It is being ignored, so thanks for the birthday cake pictures. I'll pretend you put them on just for me (Happy Birthday Leta! Aquarians RUUUUULE)
255. Lavanotes said:
I hear chocolate is fantastic for the skin when used in facials so you're really doing her quite a service. Yummy little creature.
256. Elle Wiz said:
That IS chocolate, right?
257. Holly said:
First off when the term "mommy blog" is thrown around, it's not Dooce who comes to mind. And apparently the people at BOB (best of Blog) awards thought so too. Her having a child isn't what she's known for, she's known for her "dooced" incident. Why w you were included in the article dumfounds a lot of the blog community. But since you're well- known it would at least have the readership of your site--good thiking NYT!
Lastly it irks me to no end that Heather is now trying to pass off her chemical depression as post partum—WTF, it's a totally different thing. Heather you were depressed before you had Leta, you choose to get pregnant, and your depression was not because of the pregnancy, why would you even claim such a thing?! "Chemical depression runs in my family: six of my mother’s eight brothers and sisters have it, my grandmother had it, my brother suffers from it daily." Your words--
You knew going in you were chemically dependent, what a selfish thing to do, look what Leta's first year was like because of those choices. Mommy's loosing it, mommy's having to have others take care of her because she can't cope, mommy's in the funny farm, mommy's not taking good care of me. No, you're not selfish and self absorbed, than who is? You choose to get pregnant knowing you were more than likely not going to be able to do it. This is a good mother?!
BTW I don't see the humor in putting frosting on the child. Having a picture taking of a child who's eaten the cake with their hands and has made a mess—is funny. A mom who puts food on her kid, to post the picture on her site is for totally self-absorbed reasons. The reporter was right on in his description of you.
258. Carrie said:
Well, Holly, that was a break from the normal rave reviews for Heather. But geez, you kind of need to chill out.
I'll admit you have a tinge of a point, although I still pretty much worship Heather and love the picture.
259. erat said:
Wow, I think Mr. Meyer (http://meyerweb.com) didn't like what he read in the NYT article.
260. Annejelynn said:
okay now Holly, gonna hafta kick some ass here if you don't lay off ...
Depression is not something that makes one unworthy of experiencing motherhood and unable to be a mother successfully. Treated responsibly, all can be deemed manageable --challenging, nonetheless, but manageable.
And if one is already clinically depressed, it doesn't mean one can't ALSO suffer (severely) from post-partum.
261. Leslie said:
Teehee. I can't stop giggling. That picture is too cute. :o)
262. Mir said:
Can we get GOD down here to smite Holly in her self-righteousness, please? Pretty please??
263. Alicia said:
Holly, your comments are just not helpful to anyone reading this blog -- or to anyone who has ever been depressed. Why would you say such cruel things? Why can't you (and others like you) just leave people alone? Those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety totally get Dooce. Those of us who are fun totally get Dooce. Thanks, Dooce, for always being honest, for giving us hope and humor, and for being awesome.
264. Annejelynn said:
another thing Holly-dear,
WAY WAY uncool to insinuate Leta's first year has been wholly affected by her mother's battle with depression... it's not like Leta was ever carted off by social services!?! She has a HUGELY loving family, immediate and extended, and a WONDERFUL father too, tah fill in whenever mommie is having a tough time. And when mommie is up and at 'em, I'm sure Leta knows with every fiber of her baby being that she is certainly loved and adored by her mother.
265. Trance said:
I don't think my urge to bitchslap the living shit out of someone has ever been so strong.
266. mobish said:
2cute2be true :)
267. Annejelynn said:
another thing (soooo steamed by Holly's ignorant comments)...
Maybe if Heather had some terminal illness and went ahead and conceived anyhow, there'd be a beef to make...but clinical depression?
Even if one was bi-polar (an awful, awful condition I wouldn't wish on anyone), to deem he/she selfish for having children? Maybe if neglegent in their treatment of illness? HOWEVER, that's NOT the case here - vigilant, prepared to handle it all in the best way possible, a gigantic host of helpful resources available to them, the Armstrongs...man, Leta is a lucky little girl.
268. cindy said:
Heather, i think you will appreciate this article, lol..
Blue Oyster Cult, Playing Along With 'More Cowbell
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A46074-2005Jan28?language=print...
269. La Pixiatrix said:
Holly doesn't know what she's talking about. Obviously.
People with diagnosed and undiagnosed depression have kids all the time, people who've been on medications and who are unmedicated, and many are able to handle it with widely varying degrees of symptoms, including none.
Post-partum depression is not necessarily connected to any pre-existing depression at all. Some people who've never been depressed can become slightly to clinically depressed after giving birth.
Let's not validate the inciters and perpetuate ignorant statements like Holly's by retaliating.
I can only wonder why Holly wants to shame others and has so much anger toward someone she doesn't know.
270. God's Intern said:
God is currently out of the office on another smiting, but I will page him about Holly.
In the meantime, even a lowly celestial intern like me knows that dooce could not have predicted or prevented post-partum depression, and that her docs probably knew what they were talking about when they, you know, diagnosed her with PPD. But hey, that's a guess. It's not like I'm Holly or anything.
271. Ang said:
Somebody (namely Holly!) must not have had cake for her 1st birthday... envy is so unhealthy.
Over 250 positive comments can't be wrong. It's true: WE LOVE YOU DOOCE!
272. Dang cold...and a bit confused... said:
Its like clockwork...
I come back to this website after a few hours and scroll down the comments and this is what I always find. Like a deranged flasher does with his quivering, erect penis in a bustling school yard, at 10am in a Tuesday, some nut ball EXPOSES their lack of intellect and breeding to the World Wide Web on this public forum.
Holly, you're excused!!
273. Annejelynn said:
I can totally relate to your comments, Trance!!! I felt my blood pressure SOAR SKYHIGH!
Trance said at 05:11PM, 01.31.2005:
I don’t think my urge to bitchslap the living shit out of someone has ever been so strong.
274. Dang cold...one more thing... said:
Why why why do people take the time to write the things they write???? Look how nice and paragraphed Holly's passage is!! Fuck me sideways, she wrote a draft, a 2nd draft and then had it proof read by an editor and hit POST!!!
Don't you have books to burn??
I give up...
275. Amanda B. said:
"Holly". This is Leta's birthday week. Do you think you could lay off just until Friday. Then you can resume your feeble attempts at emotionally bashing Dooce.
Or come to think of it, why not just *Fuck Off* altogether?
276. Annejelynn said:
Another thought...
Maybe Holly had a bad experience of her own, growing up, having to deal with a depressed parent who didn't handle his/her depression responsibly...?
I would rather hope that's not the case, and that Holly's simply having a very bad day, unfortunatly taking it out on the undeserving.
It makes me sad, sad, sad (genuinely) when ANYONE still suffers from the effects of bad parenting, even if that someone, despite their adult status shovels shit on others for it.
(If you're adult, no longer under parental control, it's time to GET COUNSELING; do not let yourself be the victim of your past any longer - a good happy life can be had!!!),
277. ashik said:
Ignore the mean troll. (Although - "Dang cold..." just made me giggle like a freak at work.)
278. Amy said:
I think we should all just ignore Holly's comments. There is always one in the bunch, who disagrees just to disagree. She is probably refreshing every two seconds to see what people wrote in response to her. Don't let her get any satisfaction here. She should be paying for it in therapy like the rest of us.
279. Amanda B. said:
Well, I've ignored a lot of them. But to be perfectly honest i'm sick of it. Trying to make someone feel like a bad mother has got to be one of the shittiest things a person can do.
I know there will always be some sociopath out there with nothing better to do. But I can't stand to see people getting picked on. It's boils my brain.
So I stand by my *Fuck Off* comment,and would like to add a *Go Blow Yourself* for good measure.
280. Erin H. said:
My depression was something I thought I had conquered a few years ago, but pregnancy only brought it back full-force. With less than one month to go until my due date, I can only hope that post-partum depression won't affect me. If it does, at least I know that other women have gone through it and come out fighting.
There is absolutely no shame in admitting that you need help. The last thing someone suffering from depression needs is to be even further stigmatized for seeking help, which in fact makes them a BETTER parent for refusing to deny that the problem exists. Anyone who doesn't think so needs to remove their head from their ass.
End of pregnancy fatigue is making me far less articulate than I should be, sorry.
281. Ms. Belle said:
HOLLY CAN SUCK IT!!!
282. Carol said:
And don't forget
*suck it*
283. Annejelynn said:
Amanda B. - I think I love you!?!
..."add a *Go Blow Yourself for good measure."
Well said.
284. meowlam said:
Heather: You rock!
Thank you for your honesty and forthrightness on dooce. Those who haven't suffered through depression themselves have NO CLUE what it is like.
I'm so thankful that I found my way here. You articulate the experience in a way that I never could..but to which I aspire.
Happy b-day to the precious Leta and I hope you all enjoyed the chocolatey goodness.
As for the troll, look's like God's Intern is on the case. Woohoo.
285. Brooke from CT said:
Actually, I think that if Heather did NOT conceive it would be a sin. Think of all those good genes going to waste. Armstrong/Hamilton offspring=mixing of amazing DNA! Leta has got a lot of precious blood coursing through her veins.
286. Paula said:
Oh my God your baby is the cutest freaking baby ever to exist ever. And now, I'm Catholic, so while I don't see as many babies as must be in Utah, I still see quite a lot. So...CUTEST BABY EVAR!!!!!!1111eleven!!
287. Cass said:
If Holly thinks HEATHER is an unsuitable mother, she's got another thing coming.
I'd say Leta's got it pretty good.
288. Cristin said:
Not only those of you who wrote about Heather having awesome support, etc, I feel she did the UNselfish thing of ADMITTING to all, not only her family/friends, but to THE WORLD, that she could not handle the chemical imbalance. PPD is real. People who suffer recurrent depression may be more prone to it, but *HOW DARE ANY FUCKING TROLL* accuse a woman of being selfish when they have depression and decide to have a child.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?
Heather not only asked for help when she needed it, she recognized that her depression was not conducive to caring properly for herself and her child, and UNSELFISHLY sought help.
Who the fuck do you jerks think you are. Should we really start a list of all of the medical conditions with which women are affected? Diabetes - oh, no, baby might get hurt during pregnany so you can't procreate. Multiple Sclerosis? too bad, you might not be able to physically care for your child in the future, so you can't have one, etc.
Just think, for one moment, about all of the people who have been HELPED by this website. I have read comments from women who recognized things about themselves here, depression, and sought help BECAUSE THEY READ ABOUT IT HERE.
Holly, or REY or whoever you are in real life,
SHOVE IT HARD. WITHOUT LUBRICANT!
I am a 35 year old mother with Multiple Sclerosis. Oh my, should I have not had my kids? I did not know about my MS until after they were born. Should I put them up for adoption you ignorant asshat?!
289. Rachel said:
I agree with Cass, #287. I too believe that Leta has got herself a pretty damn good life. She was in the New York Times for christ's sake!
Heather? HEATHER ARMSTRONG? As far as I'm concerned, Leta does not look like the result of an abused child. I would say she's got a lot of love floating around her.
We all know that we would love to have Heather as a mother. She's going to be the kind of mom that all Leta's friends wish was theirs. Heather is the kind of mom that is now described as a "cool mom."
290. Annejelynn said:
All who love dooce and those who make up that which is the adorable Armstrong fam-damily, submit your votes! - if I hadn't mentioned so already, dooce.com has 4 BLOGGIES NOMINATIONS!
http://2005.bloggies.com/
I'm gunna go chill out now -- will have a cocktail in hand by 5pm (my Vegas time) and that'll be in mah-gullet by 5:10pm (tryin' to pace it, ya know)
291. dooce said:
Leta just waved her middle finger at Holly. I taught her how to do that, after I smeared chocolate on her face and then sold her liver to pay off bills. they're coming for it next week.
292. Dana said:
your blog is so much more than a mommy blog.
nonetheless I loved reading about you and Leta has never looked cuter than she did in the NYT. big time baby. too bad Chuck wasnt in there.
293. Annejelynn said:
oh, and did I also mention...
LETA is the cutest sweet cheeked baby in the world??? or that Heather is a strong and fabulous mother? or did I mention already that dooce.com was given 4 Bloggies nods? and that all who love dooce should vote? - k, gunna go get that cocktail now before I get shoo-ed away.. g'nighty night all!
mwwwah!
294. sweetney said:
holly, might i direct you to the following URL, which i thought relevant to your post:
http://tinyurl.com/3dg
295. sweetney said:
oops, i was 4 minutes too late...
296. Amanda B. said:
Sweet. Rock on Little Leta.
297. ab said:
The picture: yet another reason to eat Leta's cheeks. Too cute. Happy b-day little one!
HOLLY: SUCK IT BIOTCH!!!!!
298. Girl.A said:
I am waving my middle finger at Holly too. But it aint covered with chocolate frosting.
Just imagine Holly with a nice Sanchez on her face.
299. Graygirl said:
Holly and those like you:
While I know that you spew such hate for attention and you post really needs to be ignored, I can't help but say: HOW DARE YOU???
Every one else has chastised you, ever so eloquently so I will leave it at that.
300. Lisa said:
Holly are you the same Holly that harassed Cecily at All That Wasted Birth Control? Or do you just share the name and same bad attitude and lack of social graces?