Jesus, is the rest of him going to turn green just before he bursts out of his clothes?

Not that many of us would mind the bursting out of his clothes thing, mind you. . .

haha....nice photo!

You look stunning Dooce and your hubby aint too bad either!

Whoa! Comin' at me!

thats what i thought too, esther! 4 of us posted at the same time. That was my 1st post here heather! nice website! keep it up!

ATTACK OF THE (adorable) BEARDED MAN!

Strike a pose, there's nothing to it. Vogue.

She's thinking... oh my god, how long does it take to bring me my sake? I NEED MORE SAKE, SWEET BABY JESUS.

Great "action shot!" Don't worry... your secret is safe with me!

Heather -- I had a VERY drunk guy try to pick me up at the "after party" of my BIL's wedding reception (you know, after most of the guests go home, and the wedding party hits the hotel bar). This drunk guy runs his finger down my arm and asks, "Sooo... what's your name?" I told him I was married. His response "Mary?" Shortly after I told the guy to go away and leave me alone, he left (go figure). Hubby escorted the staggering idiot out of the bar -- then BIL went to make sure no heads got busted on his wedding day.

the "shogun" sushi restaurant where i live has AWESOME food. hope it was just as good there.

(is that your scarf on your lap, or does your sweater just happen to match the napkins?!)

Heather, for someone who has given birth, you are TINY. I am a might bit jealous being that I have yet to have children and I would have to starve myself to death to even hope to be within 10 lbs of you. Woe is me. :(

Cute pic though. Jon is a hottie.

Did you wear you shirt to match the napkins? Ha Ha!

Nice work on coordinating the napkin with your shirt! Very visually stimulating.

closest i'll probably ever be to one. YES

Your fist is clenched like you are really trying to restrain yourself from jumping up and snatching the camera out of Shan's hands and just
Doing It Yourself.

You have a bit of that (I will stay calm, I will stay calm) look about you.

For a second there, I thought Dooce was sporting the Chachi-bandana-on-the-thigh-look.

Good GOD, Heather, why have you never told us about Jon's grotesquely gargantuan hand before? Does gigantism run in his family?

I suppose such large hands have their uses, tho ...

Jon: "I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!"

Please share more of your photography know-how with us (beyond how to focus). Are you an "automatic" user or do you actually manually set all that crap?

IF i have to i will get married too! JUST gimme the camera!

shogun's?? that's one of my favorite restaurants! you look great in red. :)

your sweater actually matches the napkin. man, am i retarded. must be the weather..

Jon is totally like "Tune in Tokyo Tune in Tokyo"

It's Leta in a beard. Out for her first sake.

"Once this guy tried to pick me up with, 'Hey, I'm from Hoboken. Where you from?'"

That's nothing. Around here, it's "So, do you smoke? You know, pot? Do you want to? You know...smoke?" or "You look like you could use a few beers." Eesh.

You know what they say about guys with big hands...... so what do they say about guys with ONE big hand? Love the pic + caption, it's the first thing to make me smile today.

You look very contemplative...like you're mentally composing your next Daily entry.

And, I agree, you do look fantastic.

I want that camera SO bad. I told my husband that I'd rather have that camera and the zoom lense, than get a new car of my choice.

*pouts*

mmmm, sushi!

Heather, despite the internet nerds who may grumblie that "she's hot but she talks about constipation too much," I think this photo proves once and for all that YOU ARE STILL FINE AS HELL. Poop, or no poop.

My cousin's wedding last summer basically turned into an all-night camping rave afterwards, and all of my cousin's drunk friends got a little too drunk. Someone even had to go to the hospital after she cracked her head open on the pavement! It was awesome, of course.

However, there was this one guy who tried to pick me up, WHILE I WAS WATCHING THE AMBULANCE TAKE THIS GIRL AWAY. Its like, you are so tactless, number one, and number two, I'm your friend's COUSIN, and number three, there's a freaking ring on my finger!

Now if I could just find my 3D glasses...

The only time in recent history someone tried to pick me up it was a lesbian, but her "pimp" did all the talking. It was funny. Lesbians dig me.

It is seriously crazy how much your child looks like that man. I especially notice it from a distance.

whose the hottie in the background? another of your dinner buddies?? Im hoping so! Im also hoping you email me with details and tell me that is not his partner sitting beyond Jon...grrr, its always the way!

*humph*

Too right, Meg - I second that motion.
Anyone else think Heather should supplement her family's income by modelling? :)

::laughs:: I second the "Jon is chanelling The Hulk" idea. He doesn't look like he's explaining technology, he looks like he's say, "Here, allow me to adjust *your head*..." Hee.

"The Lady In Red
Is NOT dancing with the idiot from Hoboken
Cheek to cheek..."
(change station)
"Big Hands you're the one"

His arm somehow seems abnormally long in that photo.

I was on urban dictionary today (because yeah I defined mallado) and the first word on the start up page is Dooced.

You and Jon are adorable.

P.S. I live in The Colony, TX with George! Isn't that crazy?

Good Greif Heather. Could you *be* more beautiful. It's completely ab-scusting. ;)

You look fantastic, Heather. Red is a lovely color on you, though I think Jon, Leta, & Chuckles are clearly your best accessories.

Have a nice day :)

you have supermodel looks, but i dont like supermodels unless they look like supermodels who are not supermodels
anyway i'd pick you up in front of your husband too

that photo is a great shot, very funny, well done shan

Heather, you're looking radiant! No wonder there were teenage boys trying to pick you up!

I'm pretty sure the BOY was Prince Harry.

Yeah. I think it's a really awesome idea for everyone to modify their *body type* in accordance with what's trendy. Good call, Matt.

hey Lulu - pink leotards are in over here...you should see the hours I put in just to look fashionable in the office..suck in that belly, push out that chest, make sure the cucumber is all lined up right and off I strut...

I have always had a soft spot for men with big hands.....

People in bars and restaurants tend not to be the most perceptive about body language and even verbal language (as in "No, thanks! Please get lost!")

To those who posted today and yesterday who said "I hope that's not me...not what I am like or how I am perceived..." If you are reading someone's body language and it says "Let's hang out" then stay. And if it doesn't, then go away. If you don't know about body language, visit the bookstore and check out a book of body language pictures. Practice empathy.

And I gotta say this - some people are just too subtle and afraid to say "Get lost" when they straight-up oughta.

Ok, confession time... I once tenaciously pursued a cute coworker for two months before asking him out on a date. He was so flustered, (although knew what I was after), that he said yes.

We've been together for 18 years now. Poor sod never even saw it coming...

ha, surprise!

Hi Amanda, I have no idea what you're talking about...and now I'm going home after a hard day at work surfing the internet :-) I'll try and figure it out for tomorrow...

Night night

I love these daily photos, I actually used them to sell my husband on getting the D70. While our pictures are nothing compared to Heather's and Jon's the camera is awesome. I am actually able to get pictures of my girls in a cute pose before they move!

way too cute and perfect looking couple! heather - you look smashing dahling - very pretty! Loved the story about the boy - very funny. But can you blame him?! also - I have had "V"Electric Avenue running through my head ALL FREAKING DAY - thank you very much

Here's a totally uncalled-for comment because it a)is redundant and b)contains the hated unsolicited advice:
a)you are quite stunning
b) definitely stick with the darker hair

are you sure the boy didn't run up to the table, grab the camera and take a picture? that's Jon saying, "You little shit.....give me that camera before I crush your head..." and Heather thinking "Uh uh, you DID.NOT.JUST.GRAB.MY.CAMERA. What can I do to hurt this little boy..." Ha!

Re: #80 Amazing how big women's egos are. No matter what the situation they always assume that any male who tries to strike up a conversation is hitting on them. If exactly the same conversation had taken place between the boy and Dooce's husband no one would have assumed that he was gay and trying to hit on her husband.

Reminds me of a family reunion a few years ago. I tried to strike up a conversation with a cousin I hadn't seen for years. After a few minutes up cold, monosyllabic replies I gave up on her. Half an hour later she comes up to me and apologizes - with the explanation that she didn't recognize me and had assumed that I was going to hit on her as soon as she saw me walking towards her.

Also: at my favourite pub a couple of the bartenders will keep my usual seat open for me if I'm expected to show up on a busy night. When I arrive and sit down, if there is a woman on the next stool I am sometimes preemptively put down even if I haven't said a word to her or even looked at her. Responses I have used include:
"Sorry to have given you that impression. I just sat here because I wanted to talk to you about the line of weight loss products I market."
"Ewww. That whole /older woman/ thing just grosses me out."
"This was the only seat left in the bar and now I know why."

A couple of times favourite bartender has helped me out:
"Dang. We were kind of hoping you'd be interested in a little three-way action."
[Slaps me (gently)] "You bastard! Hitting on another woman right in front of me !"

Question: Girl, what kind of jeans are you wearing? They look gorgeous on you...

You're so pretty. :)

Mmmmm...sake. /Homer S.

That is all.

OH NO!!!

I've been so eagerly anticipating the sitting up milestone....and now it's going to be hell?!?!?!?

Rolling over was good/bad enough!

Anita said at 01:03PM, 01.25.2005:
OH NO!!!
I’ve been so eagerly anticipating the sitting up milestone….and now it’s going to be hell?!?!?!?
Rolling over was good/bad enough!

Anita -- I'm finding that the kids growing up/hitting milestones thing has it's pros and cons. We were excited when Buddy got mobile, but now he tortures his sisters by getting into their stuff. On the up side, at least I don't have to carry him up the stairs anymore. He can get up them by himself (properly supervised, along the way, of course).

Parenthood: It's not just a job, it's an adventure.

I gotta say Dooce, you have it EASY. My 11 month old is CLIMBING stepladders to get to the counterop where all the sharp knives and chokeable stuff is. Did I mention he was CLIMBING?

It is great news that Leta is sitting up though, really. She's going to hit these development milestones. That she doesn't like to bear weight on her feet, well, just you watch out, she'll be fine with weight on her knees and then you'll have a crawler. All over the place, down the hall, splat splat splat go the hands on the hardwood floor as she makes her way to the bathroom where the toilet paper roll live.

My husband, whom I normally love dearly, permitted the baby to unroll toilet paper from the roll while we were on vacation. Now I can't pee in peace because the baby cries when I don't let him pull off all of the toilet paper. He used to play happily with the special-toys-so-mommy-can-pee that were in there. Argh. What is it with the fathers? :)

I didn't get any gifts at my wedding.
Thats what happens when you get knocked up (3 times) before tying the knot. That and the fact that your an anti-social hermit with no friends.

The sitting thing is great! This means she's going to have to move her legs under herself. This also means they're going to develop more muscle and get stronger. Haha, I'm looking forward to the entries when she starts to crawl, let alone walk ... (*evil grin*)

I, like Nadia, thought that perhaps the guy was just talking to her. I mean, it's Utah, right? Do they *do* the whole 'hitting on' thing there? I guess they do, based on this.

But don't they ask what church you go to or anything? Or "Hey, did you tithe today, sexy lady?"

Let's come up with Mormon pick-up lines. "I'd tithe with you anyday, baby!"

(Nadia, I'm also a Gemini and was sort of pleased/freaked to see that you had the same thought AND were a Gemini. Usually I don't put any stock in that stuff. Bizarre.)

jon: 'and this is what I would do to Condee's neck if she were sitting right beside me...'

OR maybe he was thinking about how he was going to give you some lovin', heather...hehehehe 'a little sqeeze here, a little pinch there...' OH NOW I'M JUST BEING GROSS! SORRY!!!!

again, sorry...

*Chrissy, why is Heather DEAD?!?!! BAHAHAHAHAA, sorry, had to comment on that....like I've NEVER made a typo or anything...BHAHAHA

I love how you're sitting there so above it all. Makes sense, since you are either a) an uppity model or b) dead.

I also like the thumbnails. Anyone else ever try to figure out exactly what she focused on for the thumbnail? Sometimes, like with the pattern of a shirt, it's hard, yo. And I'm a little disappointed when I know what the pic is before I open it. today did not disappoint.

HEY! That's my friend Matt -- the mustached muchacho hanging out in the backround. He's a badass and a crack Scrabble player and it's no suprise whatsoever that he's associated with other smart, badass people like yourselves. I thought you were super cool from your writing, but now I know you are, if by nothing other than association. (See there, how that's kinda circular?) Cheers, chica! And thanks for the daily dose of Dooce. ~jill

Ooooo... If I allow myself to slip into a daydream, it's like John is reaching out for me! I'm here Scrumptious Bearded Man! I'm here!

And then I shake my head, because his absolutely gorgeous wife is sitting right next to him....

Ahhh...Sigh.

Fish- it could be a "Paul is dead" scenario.

Tommorow papers in Canada will proclaim Mrs. Delta Armstrong deceased as a result of cinching her corset too tight.

i see the japanese restaurant's name is 'shogun'. hmm. :)

this is one of my fave photo's of jon (sans leta with him).

kudos to jon for handling the kid trying to pick you up. jon's the man.

Read these:

http://tinyurl.com/create.php

Leta is the bomb. Sweet little munchkin. I wonder if Chuck stays at a safe distance from her while walking by. He certainly will now.

Chuck: "Great Dad. You taught her to sit up. Thaaaanks..."

Oops for Kay, that was nice. It was helpful and appropriate and such a much better response than so many were probably inclined to give.
After I read Kay's query and picked my jaw up off the floor, I could only think of Abraham Lincoln's words, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Man...as a culture we are so obsessed with weight. Everytime there is a picture of Heather posted there are "you're so skinny" comments. I'm not criticizing anyone in particular, it's just something that I noticed in reading all of these.

Fun picture...I too enjoy how the napkin matches the shirt. You called ahead to make sure they were indeed using the red napkins didnt you?

Dooce,

Just wondering but does Leta sleep on her tummy? Or would you let her sleep on her tummy? That might solve the whole sitting up incident at bedtime for a while. I know w/ my daughter when she learned to crawl she forgot how to roll over so night time was easy, I put her on her back instead of her belly and she would go to sleep, but if I put her on her belly she would get up and start screaming for someone to get her. Maybe the opposite would work for you?

Good Luck and good job Leta and Daddy, sorry mommy!

This is just a really great picture of the two of you. One of my favorites.

That is all.

Re: #124

[quote]I amused by the fact that GSV’s rant on female egoism was just a few comments after he used the words “Yum” and “Chickie” to describe Heather. My guess is that was what Heather’s suiter had in mind as well when he approached her.[/quote]

Just because a man (or a boy, in the case of Heather's anecdote) appreciates the appearance of a beautiful woman doesn't automatically mean he is going to hit on her. If he had actually propositioned her she would have had a case, but absent that she is just deluding herself.

Maybe (probably ?) her "suitor" was drawn to her by her looks - but that still doesn't mean that he was trying to do anything more than enjoy the company of a beautiful woman for a few minutes.

Was there more said by the guy? It sounds to me more like he was trying to start a conversation. Of course I was not there so couldn't see the body language but from what he said (unless pick ups are different there than here) I would never have guessed he was trying to pick you up.

Although you look great in that picture so I have no problem believing someone would want to pick you up. Even with the diaper talk.

At the risk of sounding creepy, the bone structure of your face is gorgeous.

mmm bbq chickeeen

I would greatly appreciate it if someone would try to pick me up. If only out of pity.

Marti: How YOU doin?

Re #162

[quote]How can you enjoy the “company” of someone who doesn’t want to talk with/be with/stand near you?[/quote]

Maybe he *did* see that she thought he was trying to hit on her and he stuck around for a while longer to try to dispel that silly notion ? Her anecdote suggests she was so nasty to him *only* because she thought he was hitting on her, so maybe he was just trying to get her past that stupid idea so she could let her true colours show.

I don't always roll over and play dead when someone gets snotty with me like Dooce did to that poor kid. Maybe he doesn't give up on people that quickly either.

There a many, many, ways to interpret what Dooce described in her little story and only one of those ways shows her in a better light than him.

Absent an explicit proposition from him to her he is entitled to the benefit of the doubt. In the meantime he was entitled to all of the courtesy she failed to show him.

Windward, I get your point about him maybe not wanting to hit on her. And I agree.

I've been around guys in public who think they have a right to your time and your converstaion and your personal space. And some of them may not be trying to hit on me. As it turns out, some of them were just from a different culture. But I still didn't want to talk with them.

Fact is, I flat out refuse to talk with *any* stranger who comes up to me in public who I don't want to talk with. Period.

I sincerely do not think bars and restaurants are good places to "meet" new people at all.

#175: If Heather had said she simply didn't want to talk to him for any reason whatsoever I wouldn't have been quite so annoyed by her snotty behaviour. Nobody can be expected to be nice to everybody all the time.

However, her anecdote strongly suggests that she was rude to him *only* because she thought he was hitting on her. Yet she didn't provide the slightest reason for anyone to conclude that he actually was hitting on her.

Dear *Huh* ,

I am sorry that you find it hard at times to understand me. I suppose if I typed clearer this would solve the problem?

Yours Truuuuly, MizzStrizz

They are so NOT gonna let me be a cop. :0P

Re: #182

Reminds me of my favourite Paris Hilton joke: she just proves you don't have to be poor to be white trash.

Ohhh, Paris. A love to hate relationship, agreed?

I wish I was a spoiled whore. Beats being a plain old whore. (I am not a whore BTW, but if I was rich and skinny I just might become one is all I'm saying)

Am I too late to hit on Marti??

"I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your bed rock!"

Re: #185.

"Ohhh, Paris. A love to hate relationship, agreed?"

Despise? Sure.
Pity ? Definitely.
Contempt ? You betcha.
Hate ? Absolutely not.

Every once in a while something like this comes up and it occurs to me to really think about "hate" - and I realize how fortunate I am that there is no one I hate in the true meaning of that word.

Please - somebody shoot me next time I get all gooey like that.

Hey, Marti - I'd hit on you too if I knew whether or not you are female. Its just that after cynicism, homophobia is my best attribute. :-)

"Back to Shogun, wondering if it says “Mensan” and “Womensan” on the bathroom doors?"

LMAO!

So in such a place all the smart people would use the Mensan room while all the others would use the ... ummm ... /other/ room ?

AND he *is* GSV talking al like Oh no just cuz he talked to you....

I kind of agree with H.E.R. I bet he just wanted a little shout out on dooce.com. At least, I hope that boy was not really THAT clueless.

Ahem.

Just had to clear my throat.

Yeah, motherfucker!

Yeah! Damn right. I always want you to tell people to fuck off whey they are being mean!

I was going to say "boorish twat..".

Girl A - You are into ham? Me too. Let's get it on Virginia Baked style, baby.