Exactly one week before our lives exploded, January 2004
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Sue From Ohio said:
WOOHOO!!! FIRST?!?!?!!?
2. Red said:
The calm before the storm?
3. Toren said:
You look great for 9 months, heavily laden with child! Can't believe Leta is almost a year!
4. Wicked H said:
The calm before the beautiful storm.
5. brittney said:
That cutie baby used to be IN YOUR BELLY. Weird.
6. e said:
or, as we sang in our house....it's the end of the world as we know it....
7. Teri said:
Exploded is a good word.
8. girl said:
And that's all the bigger you got?! :) You looked great.
9. Sue From Ohio said:
That is the sweetest picture EVER! You both look a little nervous and I can tell that Congressman really gives a rat's ass....
I wish I could wear my hair that short but I look like a man, baby...
10. gardens grey said:
I can't believe Leta is almost a year old!
11. Stephanie said:
Nice one.
12. Danielle said:
More evidence that you are quite the expert of the one-armed photo shoot.
That is a
skill I Must perfect.
13. penelope said:
You look beautiful!
14. Mojo said:
Boobs!
15. bb said:
You look so tired and ready for her to come out!
16. tiffany said:
Too cool! Poor Chuck , "Ah, this is so nice and peaceful. I hope life stays exactly like this forever."
You look great, too. There's no way I would have photographed myself one week before my kid was born. Although I did have to get my driver's license picture taken, so that was a nice long-term reminder of how awful I looked. It was baaad. I didn't want to seem so shallow and worried about appearances that I'd show back up and demand a re-shoot after the baby was born, so instead I convinced my husband that we needed to move back to Texas, you know, to be closer to family - but my real secret motivation was having a good excuse to get a new drivers license picture. It was THAT BAD.
17. lulu cornichon said:
Chuck: Her lap is just getting smaller and smaller.... I wonder what's up? Eh, it's probably nothing big....
I could sure go for some pizza.
18. Jazzy said:
#6 warms my heart. I whole heartedly agree. 20's slut is not replacable.
19. bushra said:
ah, it's like you're looking up at leta as if to say 'please be gentle with us?'
20. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
I could swear I saw that same look on Mia Farrow's face in "Rosemary's Baby"
21. laura said:
NICE BOOBS!
22. sweetney said:
difficult to remember what the pre-explosion days were like now, ain't it?
23. Karen said:
Aw!
24. Lauri said:
You're like one of those maternity models - tiny and beautiful. Your face didn't even get fat! Lucky girl. Lucky guy! And what a beautiful baby Leta is, thanks for sharing with the world!
25. Kassi said:
You only had three months of sleepless nights? My Abi kept me up for a YEAR...do you get me? A Y.E.A.R.
26. Southern Fried Girl said:
Exactly one week before your lives changed for the significantly better. :)
27. kim said:
amen, lauri. but she's just pretty. and so is jon. and chuck. and leta turned out pretty, too. must be the 25% avon world sales leader genes. or something...
28. e said:
I can't believe Leta is almost a year old already!
29. jules said:
I really like the fabric on the couch
30. shy said:
that is one sex-ay photo of the two of you!
chuck looks cool too! :)
31. Charmaine said:
Do you ever refer to your life now in terms of Pre-Leta and Post-Leta? Almost like, BC and AC, no?
32. Nicole said:
I'm green with envy. I'm still 3 weeks away from one week before MY life explodes and I look twice as big but 1/2 as short.
33. magenta said:
OMG!!! First???!!!
34. Stephanie said:
If you are saying that you are 9 months pregnant in that picture I am going to be very jealous b/c you don't even look bloated!
35. Colleen from NJ said:
ahhh, heartburn, constipation, back pain, hootie pressure...the beauty of pregnancy. you make it look easy. i know it ain't so, though.
36. Kimberley H. said:
I just love hearing about all the pain that is soon to come with pregnancy.
37. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I make it a habit never to comment on the breasts of married women, but that picture has definite star quality.
38. beachgal said:
My first thought was, "Lordy she looks tired." You look good tho for full term. I was a whale.
Thanks again for sharing.
39. Nicole said:
You know what's also killing me about that photo? Her mouth is closed. GIVE ME A BREAK. If I close my mouth these days, I suffocate. Pregnancy: How To Become a Mouth Breather.
Oh. Also, didn't Jon stop drinking while she was pregnant? HAHAHA. That's fucking HILARIOUS. (Mine has not, fuck no, he's been drinking for two.)
40. Kittie said:
MAn you are ready to pop that sucker out
41. Carol said:
It's great to look back at pictures and remember when and marvel over how many things can happen in a year. Leta will be one soon. That, in itself, is a major accomplishment. Make sure you celebrate and enjoy this huge milestone. Congratulations!! You have an amazing family.
42. LadyBug said:
I'm noticing a common thread over the last few days...seems like you've been reminiscing a bit, no?
"Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were."
(I really hate Barbra Streisand, but the sentiment seemed appropriate.)
43. Eric said:
Love the hair!
44. Melanie S said:
You looked fabulous for being 8.5 months! Bitch.
45. Circus Kelli said:
That is a great picture, Heather... it's only been a year. It seems like more, doesn't it? (In a good way, though, seriously.
I often look at our wedding photos and wonder who those two crazy kidless kids are. :)
46. Chris From Ohio said:
Is it weird that I think Chuck looks like the alien from... Alien in that picture, all popping out of Jon's stomach?
As an aside, thank you Sue for properly representing our state by being first today. Good job. You've made us all very proud. [Wipes Tear From Eye]
47. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Reminds me of one of my co-workers. She was about 173 months pregnant and she was sitting on the couch. She hadn't done a thing all day and the house was pretty much in shambles by the existing 2-year old. Her husband came in and asked, "What have you been doing all day?" I'm amazed she didn't coldcock the guy with a fireplace poker. Instead, she calmly looked at him and said "Making a human. What have YOU been doing?" Classic.
48. koof said:
chuck DOES look like he's exploding from jon's stomach. and there is a bone coming out of his ass, i believe.
but anyway, such a nice picture, bones coming out of asses, and all.
49. Amanda B. said:
Wow. This is you at 9 months? I remember seeing the "belly" pics and thinking how your ass was not growing in proportion to the tummy. Unfair. And now I see that you didn't have a double chin either. Nooooo. You have an adorable pixie cut and you look beautiful. I don't like you.
Congrats on making it through a year and thankyou for sharing your ups and downs with us. Leta is wonderful.
50. August95 said:
If only you had know that you should have been napping and not taking pictures.
51. Em said:
Look at your pixie hair! I like all the older photos...are you cleaning out files or something?
52. christy said:
When I look at pictures from when I was pregnant with my first I think "Wow. That was the last time I was able to be bored." And I sort of miss being able to be bored.
53. Heatheranne said:
I don't remember the time before I had my son. (Oh My God! That was almost 12 years ago!)
54. TracyDee said:
If you knew then what you know now.... :)
55. Badger said:
Your hair looks wicked cute in that picture. And aw, lookit Chuck all snuggled up to the baby tummy! But why does Jon look kind of like Kevin Spacey? I mean, in a good way, but still.
56. Girl From Ipanema said:
Geez, I hope to be your size the week before I deliver...AND, have such a BEAUTIFUL GIRL to explode :)
57. Library Girl said:
Awwe, so cozy and innocent :)
58. Erin said:
I hope I look like that in five weeks, but I think my belly is going to surpass that by far. Ah well. I can't wait to walk without waddling, again. I look like a very fat little penguin whenever I go out.
59. becca said:
Aw. So jealous that your face didn't gain a trace of baby fat, which is where I always start showing first.
60. Carrie said:
Oh, what a beautiful family picture!
61. brandy said:
You look wonderful!
Such a sweet picture, although Chuck(who looks like a smaller version of my dog Meeko) is like
"her belly's moving, Im outta here!"
62. Red from MN said:
I love the Pixi hair
63. Michelle said:
Lovin' the historical pic - Leta will love that picture in a few years
64. taryn said:
I loved it when you were pregnant - it was fun to follow your progress, especially since I got pregnant too in 2003.
65. Ashley said:
I'm almost that pregnant now, and my dog cares about that much.
66. laura said:
Leta is really lucky. Judging on the photo of you dancing a couple of months ago, and judging on all the photos of Jon and particulary that one (becauseof his legs), Leta is going to be one of those tall and skinny and really good looking giraffes (becuase of the height) that we all envy! :-)
67. robin said:
Loudoun had his first birthday yesterday. All I can say is it was pretty emotional, looking back at a year full of wonderfull memories. I'm sure you can relate! :-)
68. ella's ma said:
You look awesome for being one-week- left pregnant. I gained 45 lbs and was ENORMOUS. And that's no exageration. I'm 5'2". I was almost as wide as I was tall.
Isn't it amazing to look back at how much your lives have changed? I miss some of the stuff we used to do, but wouldn't give up anything I have now to have those days back.
69. Lewis said:
Boy, you look ready to kill something. I have a penis, and as such have never given birth, to a child anyway. But i did have two nosejobs, and whew the removal of that packing is damnearlikegivingburf
70. La Pixiatrix said:
Leta's birthday is coming up. I winder if this year feels like it flew by or that it was a long slow climb. Or both.
71. Dawn said:
You must have disproportionately long arms to take that picture. How do you get the camera so far away and still be able to press the button?
72. Mrs.Strizzay said:
You look ready, you know...at the end when all you want is a good nights sleep and YOUR BODY BACK!
Plus you have those prego, 2 cups sizes bigger, boobs. I love having those.
Does anyone know Leta's exact Bday?
73. Circus Kelli said:
Mrs. Strizzay,
I think it's Feb. 3. I was pregnant and due on January 29, and I remember Heather being due that same week...
Of course, I could be completely wrong.
74. Mrs.Strizzay said:
Hmm, that is close. My son with be 4 on the 1st of Feb....and he is already planning his 5th birthday party. *eye roll*
75. the mighty jimbo said:
am i first from south america?
i wonder.
76. Big Gay Sam said:
I'm in the Southwest. Does that count?
77. Kari said:
I love that shot. Thanks for sharing your great pictures with us everyday.
78. Cheryl said:
You look damn good for nine months!!! I could only hope that I look half as good as you did when I am there!!
79. Carol said:
Mrs. S - My son will be 4 on Feb. 27. That's kind of close. : )
80. Amanda B. said:
Jimbo- you are from S.America? Where bouts?
81. Scotty G said:
Chuck is the best. Those peacefull days for him are over I'm sure.
The hubby looks like he is pleading to the camrea "Get this thing out of her. Please!"
Excellent one handed pic.
82. cee said:
...and doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago?! ;)
83. Jenny said:
I gotta say I love the short hair. Wish I could pull it off.
84. Ehle said:
and the oh-so-different hair...
85. Michelle Brady said:
Wasn't Leta born on Feb. 4? I seem to remember that.
86. ashik said:
For the record, the message on the Mississippi tax commission office's automated service informs that the office is closed in observance "Robert E Lee's and Dr. Martin Luther King's birthdays." The Governor's office in Jackson did not take the day off either....
Yeah. Sweet.
87. Fran said:
HOOTERS!!!!!
I meant the restaurant, of course.
88. Carol said:
I have never had MLK off. Ever. And I live in Atlanta - where Dr. King is from. I work about 5 miles from Ebenezer Baptist Church for fuck sake. Most people do have it off here, though. Today is "King Day" in Georgia (declared so last week by our governor) and the point is to not sit around all day, but to help others. Nice. But I'm still in an office.
89. Kari G. said:
Great pic! Can't wait each day to see what pic is up. Thanks for sharing! And love your hair - as others said - wish I could pull it off. I see someone else spells their name the same as me. :)
90. Meggan said:
I think it's the 3rd - it's when the newsletters usually go up. And, one of my friends had her baby the same day.
Pretty picture of the both of you, especially since it's one of those one-handed things.
91. Tracy said:
I work for a defense contractor that doesn't give a rat's ass about MLK Day - although they give us Good Friday off. Not that this company could even pretend to be PC; our CEO once kicked off an all-hands meeting by commenting, "Well, looking around the audience, I'm glad to see we hired a lot of pretty girls this year!"
92. Girl.A said:
Got MLK?
Yep. I even got a MLK mustache.
93. Gooooder said:
chuck wants to know where the lap went. like that cartoon.
94. Margaret from Germany said:
I work for Uncle LeRoy (DoD) and we get MLK day off, AND it's my birthday!!!!
How's George?
95. Girl.A said:
george is watchin tv.
http://georgeboone.blogspot.com
96. Karen said:
great picture
97. RedMill said:
I'm not sure why I never noticed this before, but Jon sure does look alot like Chris Novoselic.
For what it's worth (not much) I'm in liberal Seattle and have never once had MLK day off either.....
98. annakay said:
(about the photo of the day) yeah, that janet jackson thing impacted a lot of lives!
99. Kimberly said:
Besides schools and some gov't workers, who DOES get off on MLK day? Never have I had the day off, no matter what company I've worked for.
100. Mrs.Strizzay said:
heh that was funny
101. mindi said:
I'm loving the past pics. Thanks
102. tickled said:
To all the people asking about Leta's birthday: Where were you YESTERDAY when all sorts of comments were posted about the jazzy 2/3/4 date?
103. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I saw it and posted my own jazzy sons 2-1-01 date so there.
104. Mrs.Strizzay said:
And how about the fact they my kids were born on the 29th, 30th, and 1st!
105. gpl. said:
Dooce, just wanted to let you know that my husband and I moved to Australia about a week ago and the only thing that is routine and reminds me of the world I left behind is Starbucks (which I can't afford after the zillion dollar move across the planet) and your fantastic site. It brings me great comfort to know that I can log on and not feel so damn far away. I do love it here...but I'm glad 'Dooce' could come along too!
Also wondering if there is anyone else here from Melbourne, Australia?
106. Kari said:
Hi Kari G.
107. KAhli said:
gpl. Where did you move from?
I am in Manly RIGHT NOW! Melbourne is a ways away though, right? I am SO messed up clock wise and I TOTALLTYgot a sunburn on day one and I look silly!
Starbucks, they have some further away from where we are but I have been to 3 local cafes and THEY DON't HAVE ICED LATTES, it is SO hot, how can they not have iced lattes? The bride to be said "that is like putting ice cubes in your red wine" and the groom to be's frined said " no, that would be putting ice cubes in your red wine," HA!
If you are near Manly or coming to Manly in the next 3 weeks, drop me a line.
kahli_n@yahoo.com
- people please be nice and don't hair-iss me.
Going to beach now , yay!
108. Amanda said:
Is that the same shirt you were wearing in the "hammer time!" photo a week or so ago?
109. tickled said:
Speaking of jazzy birthdates, get a load of THIS: Spouse was born on Columbus Day; I was born on Easter Sunday; kids, respectively, were born on Madame Curie's birthday, Jonestown Massacre Day, and Bastille Day. ARE YOU ALL SUFFICIENTLY IMPRESSED?
110. Miss Kimberley said:
I still want the wedding dress story. :)
111. Mormon General Authority said:
DOOCELINGS, THIS IS GOD. I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR PLAYING LIKE GOOD LITTLE DOOCELINGS THESE PAST FEW DAYS.
I HAVEN'T HAD TO UNSHEATH THE SHITSTICK FOR DAYS. SOMETHING TO WHICH DOOCE CAN RELATE.
THAT IS ALL.
112. Taylor said:
You totally should have been on Lord of the Rings. You beautiful beautiful elf queen (possibly Kate Blanchette's slightly more attractive sister).
113. Taylor said:
Oh, and Jon-ADORABLE AS ALWAYS. Totally jealous.
114. christine said:
whoa nelly those are some bodacious tatas!
115. Amber said:
Wow you look like you have hardly gained any weight.
116. Laura said:
Oh.my.God. You still have a lap! I looked like that at..oh say..6 months. And then I lost sight of my feet. :D
~L.
117. RandyRambunctious said:
Beautiful. The happiness and content come right thru.
I wish upon thine family, happiness and peace and Love Love Love.....
118. RandyRambunctious said:
*contentment*
119. annie said:
you look tired.
120. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Re: Grandparent names. In my family, we didn't use "grandma" and "grandpa" for either set of gp's. My mom's parents were Peg and Pa, and my dad's parents were Nanny and Pop. I never thought it was odd 'til the other kids at school started givin' me looks.
121. MrsDoF said:
Leta still gets BOTH parents at bath time?! Ah, the firstborn child, all the doting.
There's nothing Wrong with the title of Granny. She was my favorite of the Clampett clan. And a very sweet lady at church Asked on Purpose for her grandchildren to call her that.
Another lady is called Oma, which is (I think) German.
My request will be (when the time comes) to be Nonnie because it is easy for babies to say.
122. Mel-Burn said:
gpl - yes there are a few Melbournians who frequent Dooce. Some suggested we maintain our internet silence in the hope of excluding you from our DooceClub - but I say the more the merrier.
This week's Mel-Burn DooceClub meeting will be held on Friday (21st January) at the Pure South restaurant in Southbank (Pure South = Pure Dooce).
Be there or .... poop.
123. Mrs.Strizzay said:
That post brought to us by Gin is the reason why I come here 856024865464756 times a day.
124. Mrs.Strizzay said:
We call my fathers mother Gram. Just wait until Leta calls you Mother Dearest just to fuck with you...if she ever sees that movie.
125. Kassi said:
My mom refuses to be called grandma, or anything with "grand" in front of it. She goes by Nana...which I find ridiculous. However my kids got her back...when they were really little they called her "banana"...somehow thinking that "nana" was short for that yellow piece of fruit...and that was her proper name. Anyway, thought I would share that. I personally want to be called grandmama [like on the Adam's family] When I have grandkids, I want everyone to know it. I don't want to be one of those old people so in denial that they rob thier grandkids from calling them by a recognizable grandparent title.
126. Kassi said:
Mommy Dearest...oh the memories.
127. Megan said:
Or as I hear on the Simpson's tonight, "Woah. She swallowed a baby."
128. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I just sneezed and a grain of brown rice came flying out of my nose.
Thought you should know.
129. kat said:
Mother's Mother was MomMom. Father's Mother was Grandmom. Father's Father was PopPop. Mother's Father -- well, he preferred his second family to his first.
My future kids will call my parents MomMom and PopPop. I've a hunch my husband's parents will be Nana and PawPaw, which I'll put up with, since my husband called HIS grandparents MeMaw and PePaw, which reminds me TOO MUCH of HeeHaw.
130. Paula said:
I used to tease my mother and call her "Mommy Dearest" and moan out, "Noooo Wire hangers EVERRRRRRR" when my mom would yell at me about my messy bedroom. It would make her laugh and thus forget about yelling at me and my messy room.
As for grandparents, mine had passed away by the time I was born, I know, pretty sad :(
My nieces and nephews call my parents Nana and Bampy (and one nephew called my father gee-gee. it was so cute!
131. HNLGRL said:
hahahahahahah omg that has got to be one of your most funniest posts ever!
Crotchety Old Hag's Bitch hahahahaha Omg Heather you have no idea how many lives you bring a bit of joy and laughter to hahahahahahah Crotchety Old Hag's Bitch hahahahahahahaha
132. Kristine said:
Crotchety Old Hag's bitch?
How in the hell did you know that is my Mom's pet name for my dad!?
That's just weird.
133. DeAnn said:
You are FAR TOO TINY to be a week away from having Leta.
134. Tina said:
I am trying to teach my nephew to call my sister "mother". He is almost there, it'll drive her mad!!!!
135. Circus Kelli said:
Hubby likes to get the kids to call me Maw-Maw for reasons I won't get into here -- just know that I *hate* it.
My Mom tried to be called something other than Grandma, so she would be "special"... there seem to be a plethera, however, of Grandmas in our family, so we refer to them all by "Grandma" and then add their first name -- "Grandma Linda", etc. The two Grandpas both have the same name, but one of them is really into trains, so he is "Grandpa Choo-Choo". My Grandparents were always referred to as Nonnie and Papa -- they are now Great-Nonnie and Great-Papa.
Funny thing, though, one of the Grandmas has temporarily been dubbed "G.G. Coo-Coo" because our second child refers to all Grandmas as "G.G." and "coo-coo" is how she says this one Grandma's name. G.G. Cuckoo isn't too pleased about her new moniker.
136. Circus Kelli said:
Oh, and Heather... I think that is just effin funny as hell "Crotchety Old Hag's Bitch!" LOL
Where are my manners? Sheesh...
137. MyChelle said:
My paternal grandmother was 44 with toddlers at home (4 and 2) when her first grandbaby was born (my sister)...and she REFUSED to be called anything 'grand'. She coached my sis, three older (all three from different aunts) cousins and myself to call her "Mom." So when in family gatherings at said "mom's" house, the call of Mom would get three generations of response. By the time my younger brothers and several other cousins were born, my mother and aunts were sick of the vanity "Mom" and stuck granma with the appellation "Mom Mac" for our McSomething last name. She REALLY HATED that, but she did it to herself!
My sister's in-laws are GAGGY and POPPOP to my nieces - really - gagme, not gaggy!