View from Danger Park
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. AAP said:
That sky is just gorgeous. Amazing.
2. Cheryl said:
Nature... beautiful picture again Dooce!!! You're really outdoing yourself, but we're thankful!
3. tim said:
Just great!
4. SEK said:
That's incredible.
5. Miss Kimberley said:
Nice.
6. echo said:
Beautiful!! I miss Utah.
7. jennygerbi said:
Up early?
Beautiful pic. I've been reading your website since 4 this morning. Holy crap. You're a fantastic writer and put together a fantastic site and I'm really enjoying every little last bit of it.
8. Circus Kelli said:
Eeep! You're early today! That's wonderful because I've got this meeting that I need to take notes in, and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be one of the first 356 people to post about the new picture!
The park may be dangerous, but the view is magnificent!
9. Colleen said:
The Utah tourism industry owes Heather some big thanks!
Long time "lurker," first time poster. Thanks Heather for my daily dose of humor!
10. Alena said:
I guess this is what I get for having school so damn early in the morning.. I can read all the comments here in like ten seconds. w00t!
Lovely shot, by the by.
11. Monica said:
I'm so glad Austin's still in...He's my favorite to win.
12. Wicked H said:
That's one of the parks Chuck plays or used to play in, right? It certainly has the danger element.
13. Jenny said:
That is some gorgeous scenery. All we've got here in Boston are dirty snow piles now covered in ice. Is it spring yet ....?
14. Big Gay Sam said:
Why in the hell can't I ever get mine to turn out like that?
Can I borrow your camera.. for a couple of years.. I'll give it back. promise.
15. VDOprincess said:
Um...hate to be dumb, but what is that THING climbing up the side?
Beautiful mountains, btw. Looks a bit chillyish, though. I'll take our 60 degree weather, thanks!
16. beautifulmess said:
this morning, while i was driving to work along the gray country roads of indiana, i noticed the gorgeous sky, streaked with shades of rose & scarlet, & thought, "this is NOTHING compared to the view that greets dooce every morning." lucky.
17. sak said:
love the view. more blue!! the light cutting across the cloud and hitting the mountain in the foreground is beautiful.
18. lulu cornichon said:
That's a painted backdrop and some theater lights, right?
No?
REAL?
Dang. What a great image.
19. CDNRXBY said:
Wow, how can the land of Utah be so beautiful but some of the people be so ugly? :-) By ugly I mean the people like those who voted FOR prop 3... so sad!
TO J
20. Ali said:
I'd have way too much fun with that... "I'm off to...DANGER...park... it might be a bit...DANGEROUS....in...DANGER park"
easily amused.
21. beachgal said:
Woah! Early picture! I like it, of course.
22. allison said:
Landscape and climbability: the only reasons I would move to Utah. Gorgeous.
23. jules said:
I wish I had cable.
24. Danielle said:
Well, the thumbnail reminded me of a movie set. And the mountains well, I agree with Lulu C. that they can't possibly be real and are simply part of the set design.
*sigh*
If I lived in SLC I would totally be on your call list to babysit Chuck when his toenails start click-click-clicking and I'd take him to danger park for you.
And we saw from the pic of him and MacGruff yesterday how dangerous it can be. Scary bigger dogs.
25. The other Paula said:
I would love to see that view every day, especially since I woke up this morning to another gray, rainy, AND extremely foggy day. Boston in winter is so yucky. Bring on the Spring!
26. Ed said:
That is awesome. I love mountains!
27. Fleece said:
My brain doesn't work in the morning. It took me five minutes to figure out that "Be Fri" and "st ends" did NOT stand for "Be Frist ends."
Oy.
28. kim said:
i think it's beautiful, too. and i'm not even a big mountain-fan.
29. Caryn said:
Nice picture! I love mountain pics.
HI HALEY!
30. Peter Hentges said:
Another quality shot from dooce's "blue" period. Or should that be, "white balance off" perod?
31. ashik said:
Kind of has a magritte effect a bit - gorgeous.
32. Adam said:
Yeah, that reminds me ... we need more stories of Danger Park. Hmmm ... can you even take a toddler to Danger Park?
33. Angie said:
Danger Park is a brilliant name for a park!
34. Stephanie said:
The skyline is stunning. I didn't know Utah was so beautiful.
35. pickle said:
Danger Park! Where there are no goddamn safety fences!
36. Brianna said:
I love the shadows of the clouds on the snow on the mountains.
Saw a shout out to you on Neil Gaiman's blog yesterday. All of a sudden I thought "My gosh! Neil Gaiman is a blogger! He's not just a writer who blogs!"
At any rate, it's here: http://neilgaiman.com/journal/journal.asp
37. alyssa said:
a picture of a place called danger park... with a huge phallic symbol at the forefront. yep, i approve. nice going, dooce, intentional or no.
38. Southern Fried Girl said:
Do you ever get tired of views like that? They are just beautiful. :)
39. Southern Fried Girl said:
Do you ever get tired of views like that? They are just beautiful. :)
40. Alex said:
Where's Depeche Mode?
41. Scotty G said:
That is the most incredible light pole I have ever seen. It is gorgeous. The mountains are not bad either.
42. Tammy said:
Wow. I could definately handle looking at that for the rest of my life. Quit it, you're making me rethink my dreams of owning a ranch in Texas, where its warm and I can have horseys.
43. Kieran said:
Enough with the nature shots!
44. Kieran said:
If I wanted to see pictures of trees and mountains I would head on over to Bob Ross's website!
45. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Somebody kiss me.
46. Jessica said:
I just found your site yesterday and I am really enjoying catching up. You've got a real gift with words, and you make me laugh so hard I need to go and pee! Thanks for allowing me a peek into your world.
That pic is beautiful - I'm from Massachusetts, but not the part of the state with scenic views worth appreciating. I'd probably be a lot less stressed out if I got to look at such beautiful sights every day!
47. Kerry said:
It's a lovely photo - I'm loving the blue.
by the way - Dooce,It's odd that you're from Bartlett. I grew up in Cordova, and I never think of anyone being really from that area. No one who has such a singularly awesome blog, anyway.
48. La Pixiatrix said:
Beautiful photo.
Gotta be some PhotoShop action on that? If not, the D70 is capable of some mighty mighty things. (No irony or sarcasm intended)
I would love to see a picture of the sign for the park, especially one that read simply:
Danger Park
There was a town named Covert where I used to live in NY state. There was a sign at one end that simply "Covert".
Used to crack me up.
49. Kristine said:
Heather,
You're killing me. I come here to escape from work. This moring I click on the picture and I find the same type of pictures I have to look at every sing day..
Pictures of
TOWERS!
More Chuck!!More Bearded ass pirates, more GEORGE!
NO MORE TOWERS.
Can I get God to help me out?
50. Colleen from NJ said:
i am a redundant commenter: beautiful.
here in nj, the fog machine has been rolling for days. looks haunted around here. we don't have cool names for parks, either.
typing with one hand. sorry.
51. Em said:
GORGEOUS!
52. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Isn't anybody going to kiss JohnnyFever? *Smooch* Sorry about being a guy and all, Johnny.
Hey Dooce! When are you going to put all this stuff in a book? I'll buy one!
53. Amanda B. said:
Unnnngh. Blaaaaagh. Picture...pretty. Nnnnnuuugaaaah.
54. Sarah said:
*kisses* Johnny Fever...
and feels a little dirty
55. ** said:
books are so '90s
56. Kieran said:
Where is Black Beard the Ass Pirate?How about more pictures of that sexy MoFO! I would even take the two dogs frolicing over this scenic crap. Yeah im a dude but still he is dead sexy.
Stay Classy Salt Lake City!
57. tone said:
Even with that mountain air, it still looks warmer than here too...with a HIGH of -21 degrees. Beautiful pic Dooce!
58. becky said:
danger will robinson!
okay, i just had to do it. heh.
59. Janis said:
Blue sky, in Utah, in January. It is truly an unusal thing. I know it won't last.. but one can hope.. Big storm then blue. Please...
I'm so glad to see a bit of blue. The damn gray was getting on my nerves. Gray skies, inversions, nasty ass blahness.
Thanks for capturing a bit of the blue!
I love our views when the weather is nice!
60. Colleen from NJ said:
dr. fever, would kiss you, but my breath is a bit rank. sorry.
61. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Hell, yeah, parking is dangerous. It can result in unwanted pregnancies and tickets for indecent exposure.
Dangerous, indeed.
62. jimmy c. said:
I'm a confessed lurker with a bad habit. Every morning when I arrive at work I come to this web site to see the picture and read the entry. Is it wrong to be a voyeur of another's life?
63. Dazed & Confuzed said:
Admitting you HAVE a problem is the fist step in recovery, jimmy c. Posting a comment is the last step. Congrats on successfully completing our two-step program.
64. Everyone said:
Hello, Jimmy C.
[applause]
65. christy said:
Isn't Danger Park the name of the new ski-ploitation action/adventure series on the WB?
66. Gooooder said:
So blue. No mountains in Massachusetts. Well, a few in Western Mass, but nothing like that.
67. Amanda B. said:
It depends. If the person has a public blog then it's permissable as long as it does not interfere with you own life. (ie eating, showering, proper toliet use, etc.)
If the person you are "voyeuring" is your old highschool girlfriend and you are doing so from the bushes outside her house, that is baaaad. Bad Jimmy, bad.
68. jess said:
awesome picture!! also: 10 points for the (possible) dogfood thing.... that's pretty funny. I've put the milk back in the cupboard before and my empty glass in the fridge, so this may be a possible mistake for my future as well!
69. squish said:
backing up to the friends...
You are so blessed to have good friends like that. Enjoy them!
70. Colleen from NJ said:
can't
stop
hitting
"refresh"
71. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Dog biscuits are awesome! Lots of minerals, and now Leta will have a nice, shiney coat.
72. christy said:
And healthy gums!
73. JP said:
I love the fact that you always manage to capture the beautiful parts of Utah. Let's face it...there are some...NOT so pretty parts of Utah. Let's be honest.
74. Dana said:
I think I say Kahn-creet too. And I am from New Jersey. How are you supposed to say it?
75. Lauren said:
I ate a dog biscuit when I was a kid. It didn't taste THAT bad. It's not as if they're made with poop or anything.......
76. BabyM said:
Well - at least Leta will have a nice shiney coat, and fresh breath after eating the dog biscuit.
There's a positive interpretation to every situation.
77. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Is there an echo in here?
78. Roons said:
RE: putting your gorgeous photos in a book.
Do check this out!
http://www.apple.com/ilife/iphoto/books/
79. Jessica said:
Gorgeous isn't quite the word...
80. kinda weirded out said:
i don't know about you, dooce, but i'd be kind of weirded out if so many people felt the need to read and reread and reread and reread the comments on my blog... It's almost as if you have internet stalkers, and for that I worry for your safety.
81. Carol said:
I think the picture was really taken in a studio in NYC. It's a cloth backdrop. But you forgot to crop out the lights.
It's beautiful. I want to go skiing, NOW!
I once ate Meow Mix when I was a kid. It was like eating stale cereal. Really stale.
82. christy said:
Roons - I heart apple as much as anyone, but the apple books suck compared to the ones at ofoto, which cost half as much and actually allow you to print on both sides of the page. (What a novel idea!) Sorry to be so off-topic ...
83. U.B. said:
The Wasatch mountains do make for beautiful weather (and interesting flying when you're coming over them from the east). The problem with that view is that you have to live *in* Salt Lake.
I actually love SLC, but I don't think I could take the 24/7 mormon/republican/moral superiority enema... It's bad enough living in one of the few right-wing bastions in california.
84. closet metro said:
Alex - you see a better album cover for "Music for the Masses" too?
85. Miss Kimberley said:
*Kiss*to Dr. Johnny Fever. How can you not kiss him with a name like that?
And this damn photos page has inspired me to get a camera someday and take some pictures. sometime. providing I actually get a damn camera.
that is all.
86. kinda weirded out said:
and isn't it spelled shiny and not shiney? just curious...
(hey... i said that i'd be weirded out from the reading and rereading and rereading... i didn't say i was exempt from it :)
87. stacy said:
We had to hide the beggin strips from my little sister so she would eat then all...and she was 12. No joke. Don't worry about it, I've heard that doggy biscuits are healthier anyways, alot less artificial flavoring.
88. Stacy said:
I meant to say so she would not eat them all. sheesh.
89. Elegant Goose said:
Was this picture really posted that early? Sheesh! It's 10:37 here in the eastern side of the country - I live in Michigan. Do you, like, roll out of bed and immediately post pictures? I never get to be in the top 20 posts. I check here before school starts (7:40 local time) and usually there's not a new picture. By 10:00 here there's over a hundred! Arg!
(By the way, Michigan is NOT the mid-west, people! We may sound funny, but divide the country and half and you'll see I live in the mid-east!)
90. also weirded out said:
it IS weird - the fascination people have with this site, the obsession with the comments. but i can't stop reading them! i have a real problem, people. i'm thinking about asking the computer people here at work to make this website inaccessible to me. i might get something done that way.
no, that's not true. i'd probably walk around like a junkie, propositioning other people: "hey, can i see your computer? just for a minute. I PROMISE I CAN CHANGE...LATER. I just need a little to tide me over..."
is there some kind of dooce intervention program?
91. closet metro said:
Hey Weirded and Also Weirded-
99.99% of us aren't stalkers, we're a "community" (how I hate that word) with similar interests and a lot of inside jokes, many provided by Dooce herself, some from the peanut gallery. It's all in fun. Dooce is the Prom Queen here. Nothing wrong with that.
92. Fish said:
Elegant Goose: Whatchoo got 'gainst the midwest?
Michigan is so in the midwest. Why? because:
1) the U.P.
2) the ferry from Manitowoc WI to Luddington, MI
3) only Midwesterners would think up things like "Michigan Turns"
4) Big Ten Football
5) All the cows and farms
6) If you didn't get it the first time, THE U.P., DER HEY.
(PS. PLEASE take this in the lighthearted manner in which is was meant)
93. BabyM said:
Well, excuse my poor spelling, and my inability to read all 1,000 posts before I posted this morning. Just goes to show, great minds think alike.
94. just wanted to share said:
so i work for a sorority - not a member, just an employee - and i'm looking through the magazine of another sorority. on the cover it says "how you look is important." this is their feature article. Some gems from the feature:
"If you don't look great every day, it means that on the day you did look great it was an accident."
and
"A quick look at you can tell an observer if you are classy or common...poor, rich, or somewhere in between...smart, not-so-smart, or without a clue."
Huh? Wha...?
that's crap, right? tell me i'm not the only one who thinks that is crap.
95. Melanie S said:
Kisses, and maybe a little tongue, for:
Johnny Fever, Closet Metro and my favorite Fish!
Heather, you're pictures just scream "home" to me. I envy your happiness and your charming family/home.
96. Carol said:
Cm - right on brothah!! I love this place! I can't tell you what dooce.com (and all the comments and offshoots) has done for my vocabulary alone! Although I don't get as much done as I used to.
97. Carol said:
just wanted... that is indeed a load of crap.
98. closet metro said:
Melanie - Kisses with a little tongue? Wow, thanks, but gimme a minute - I haven't brushed my teeth yet.
99. Girl.A said:
Whew! I'm winded!
Did someone say "Load of crap??"
100. A said:
I always thought that I lived in a pretty clean, unpolluted area and then Dooce posts all of these brilliant blue Utah skies and now I spend my days feeling my lungs blackening.
p.s. Elegant Goose, sorry, but the Mitten State is definitely in the Midwest. Fish is correct.
101. just wanted to share...MORE said:
and there's this one: "...total lack of beauty aids sends the same message: low self-esteem or ignorance about what is appropriate." AND a whole section on "Tattoo's Deadly Little Secret." Overall message: don't get one. Hahahha.
i should quit my job.
okay, that's all. i'll stop with the unrequested, irrelevant information now.
102. Amanda B. said:
Metro- you tell em. Some of us can go for 15-20 minutes without checking dooce.com.
So there.
103. Megan said:
Seriously, is this view practically your backyard? Maybe someone's already asked that, but I'm too lazy to look.
104. Kittie said:
PEOPLE! LISTEN TO ME!
DO A LITTLE DANCE!
MAKE A LITTLE LOVE!
GET DOWN TONIGHT!
What?
GET DOWN TONIGHT!
SING IT!!!!
DO A LITTLE DANCE..MAKE A LITTLE LOVE...GET DOWN TONIGHT!
105. Fish said:
Golly, Melanie ... gee whiz.
*fish blushes*
106. Kristen from MA said:
just wanted to share:
sororities are CULTS! not unlike the mormons...
107. Girl.A said:
Ok, who here can "go" for 15-20 minutes?
108. cat said:
Ooooh, perty...
109. Weez said:
Zwieback, dog biscuit, what's the difference? Have you tasted those things? THe dog biscuit might even feel good on Let's gums. Go for it!
110. Kittie said:
I belonged to a Sorority in College...I quit after a year of gossip, cat fights and a lot of bumping kitties (if you know what i mean ;-)
111. Kittie said:
GIRL.A 15-20 minutes of what?
112. mrs. george #2 said:
I hate sorostitutes. Whores.
113. Fish said:
I once ran in place for fifteen or twenty minutes.
Mebee that's what Girl.A means
Or houla hoops. Maybe that's it.
114. Carol said:
I was in a sorority and loved every minute of it. Maybe it wasn't the typical experience, but where I went to college, we were friends with whomever we wanted to be friends with, regardless of sorority or not. Just sayin'.
Melanie - I want a tongue kiss.
115. Cristin said:
just wanted.....
could it be possible that the magazine is a leftover prop from *The Stepford Wives* movie? please? I can't believe that is a real magazine otherwise. Aren't college students supposed to be smart? self-aware? or at least aiming themselves in the right direction?
whimper
116. Amanda B. said:
Girl A.- let's try 11.5 minutes...ready and wait...
There is a sorority around here (will not name names) and in order to join the pledges have to march around campus and spank themselves with homemade paddles. It's super duper.
Ok- GO!
117. victoria said:
"Bumping kitties"??? There's nothing like the dooce comments page for making me feel clueless.
118. Girl.A said:
Ow, my bum is already tired. Wait, what does "go" mean?
119. Kittie said:
If you didnt bump kitties in college then you werent in a sorority.
Bumping kitties = rubbing the clams together = kissing the man in the canoe
120. jes said:
"Thinking" never ceases to cause me to chuckle.
121. mrs. george #2 said:
Ok, I can't "go" anymore....
KITTIE! You're cracking my shit up!
122. just wanted to share said:
cristin - i WISH it was a prop from the stepford wives. sheesh. i'm going to take it home and share it with others. and by "share" i mean that i'll make fun of it in the company of others who can appreciate the humorous, albeit sad, very sad, nature of it.
123. Melanie S said:
Boys, you're welcome for the kisses. Me likey the kisses!
Girl A., my husband can go all night. Not that that has anything to do with Dooce.
I can go at least 10 minutes without reading Dooce, sometimes.
124. Amanda B. said:
Um, I dunno about that "kittie". I new plenty of gals in college who had never even ummmm...double clicked their mouse. I doubt that they were involved in a lesbian love fest.
125. Melanie S said:
Tongue AND a spanking for Carol!
*smack*
126. Carol said:
OHhhh! Thanks. : )
127. Fish said:
Amanda, from what I hear, it takes a lot more clicks than two to access the metadata.
128. Kittie said:
The Kitties always came out with my man Jack Daniels came to visit. That stuff is dangerous!
This one time at band camp....
129. Girl.A said:
Yeah, don't piss Carol off generalizing about sorority girls. There's always an exception to every rule.
Even the one that says you must eat pussy. The South is old school - those Cotillions are not Cooter Communions.
130. mrs. holmes said:
Did you know when packages get lost in Fedex, they're sent to Salt Lake City?
131. mrs. george #2 said:
I'm from the South. And yes, they are.
But Carol, I'm sure your sorority was full of nice, purehearted girls who were in NO WAY lesbians or sluts. And they probably didn't wear mini skirts to their 8:00 classes in 50 degree weather, either.
132. Circus Kelli said:
When I woke up this morning, I realized I may be reading Dooce too much lately.
Last night, I had a dream about Heather doing some sort of television commercial advertisement for (of all things!) Hewlett Packard. I also dreamed I was on some sort of "insiders" tour of the whole Blurbodoocery, which was some sort of really large warehouse.
My first thought, AFTER this ephiphany was "I need to stop by Dooce and post about that..."
Closet Metro: Me thinks there is a fine line between "community" and "cult". (of which I am gladly a member!)
133. Fish said:
MG2: you make me get all nostalgic and misty eyed. Hardly anyone dresses like that in court.
134. mrs. george #2 said:
(50 degree weather translates to BUTT FUCKING COLD here in the South)
135. Fish said:
The Long Gisland girls who lived in private residence halls and took cabs to class used to dress like that in January in Madison. They were popular.
136. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My Gram has a light that looks just like that thing that is sticking up there.
137. Girl.A said:
Yeah 50 degrees is not butt fucking weather. Muscles tend to tense up when you're shivering. Unless you're into that kind of thing.
138. Carol said:
My sorority was not homogeneous. Some were girlie, some not. Some pretty, some not. Half southern, half northern. Mixed races. We were the "cool" sorority and did not play by the rules. There were some lesbians, but no bumping kitties in general. Basically, we didn't give a fuck what people (other sororities) thought about us. I had the best time there.
139. Carol said:
And if we were there right now, I'd rush all of you really hard! : )
140. Amanda B. said:
I'm not sure that occasional drunken carpet munching qualifies one as a lesbian.
141. victoria said:
Y'all ever read "In The Cut," by Susannah Moore? Very, very good book -- smart, beautifully written, suspenseful (MUCH MUCH better than the flick).
Anyway, the lead character in "In The Cut" is a professor who's compiling a dictionary of urban slang.
Kittie, you've missed your calling. "rubbing the clams together," "kissing the man in the canoe" -- I've never heard these phrases until your comments and really, had no idea how impoverished my life was without them.
142. just wanted... said:
carol -
do you mind me asking which sorority you belonged to? i'm flipping through all these sorority magazines and am curious to know...or, what's the name of your sorority magazine?
143. Circus Kelli said:
So, tell me 'cause I'm completely serious here. What is the OVERALL advantage to being a part of a sorority/fraternity? I'm not talking about parties and what not...
I don't mean to offend... I really want to know.
144. Carol said:
Just Wanted-
Pi Beta Phi was the sorority - don't know the name of the magazine.
But each sorority is different at each college. For example, I think Pi Phi's are pretty typical in Texas. They aren't typical where I went.
145. Carol said:
CK - the advantage is you get to hang out with your buddies (just like here). we all had other interests and friends, but it's a place to check in with people you like (just like here).
but you do lots of fun things together (we had a lot of open parties (other sororities invited), we had Friday lunch - you'd go to the house, eat a free meal, and laugh about the drunken stories fromt he night before. Also,if you lived off campus, it was a place to hang out in between classes. And we volunteered, too.
146. Kittie said:
while Im at it lets go over all the terms used for girl on girl action...we got the bumping kitties, rubbing the clams and kissing the man in the canoe...but some more of my favorites are...
Taco Dancing
Parting the Pink Sea
Tending to my Secret Garden
Labia Round-up
147. ella's ma said:
I walked into the office yesterday to find my daughter standing IN the cat litter box with a handful of cat food.
148. Fish said:
Where's that notepad ...
*Fish furiously taking notes*
149. Dianna said:
My Brandon (who BTW is 1 day younger than your gorgeous Leta)loves the dag food more than his own. I am constantly trying to pry it out of his hands!
150. closet metro said:
Amanda B. - "occasional drunken carpet munching" doesn't make me a lesbian, does it?
Fish - metadata. Ha! Funny fishie.
MG#2 - I'm checking the weather forcast to see when it'll be 50 degrees. It's 0 degrees here, which, given my social standing, is NO FUCKING cold.
Kittie - go on...
151. Visvoice said:
I loved to eat our dog's Liva Snaps as a toddler. Unamused, my mother called the pediatrician wondering if it would cause brain tumors in the future... they're perfectly safe... and if I remember correctly, quite yummy.
152. JulieT said:
The blue hue is awesome.
As far as I know, there's nothing in a dog biscuit that would hurt a baby.
Now if you'd accidentally given Chuck the POP TART, now, he would really have appreciated that.
153. Girl.A said:
My favorite is cooking cucumbers.
a date with Rosie, basting the meat, beaver wrestling, buffin the muffins, butter the potatos, sew buttonholes, trim the kitty, churn the cream, clap clits, clit bits, clitorize, cook cucumbers, copy Georgia O'Keefe, deep dishing, digitizing, dip your fingers in the honey pot, do laps, enjoy a little southern comfort, enter no man's land, explore the deep south, fan the furnace, feed the fish, feed the other mouth, finger dancing, flick the switch, flip the bean, flip through the pages, flying manual (hands), fly on automatic (vibrator), four-lip whistling, fuzzy fun
154. mrs. george #2 said:
Carol, you can rush all of me really hard ANY TIME. I'm not a lesbian... just really cool like that.
Pi Phi, eh? Yeah they're everywhere here in texas. Wow I have a lot of stories about those pi phi skanks at MY college.
50 degrees is really cold around here. 'Specially for those girls' muffs without muff-muffs on.
155. MrsDoF said:
That is a welcome picture this morning! The Illinois prairie has 2" of snow with it still coming down so hard that I can barely make out the house across the street. Thank You!
for Just Wanted--sorority may be your day job, but I sure hope you have some creative outlet when you get home. Crocheting works for me.
Fish--my Chemistry tutor in college was from Lon Gisland and that is how he pronounced it. He was quite popular with the girls, what with the accent and all. I was already spoken for, but with his help, I did manage a B in Chemistry.
156. beachgal said:
One should also be careful during feeding time, when multitasking and trying to give the dog a pill, to not mistakenly try to stuff the pill in the baby's mouth and the baby food in the dog's mouth.
And my husband and I have BOTH done this. We caught each other right before, thank god.
157. lisey said:
Dooce, great photo, I'm impressed with your talent. I could take the same photo and it wouldn't look 1% as good.
I'm excitedly waiting to wake up tomorrow, it will be Chuck Friday!!!
158. ashik said:
One should also be careful, in the event that one receives evil hatemail to stop oneself from telling about it to one's brilliant husband, because one's brilliant husband may, in retaliation release his genius on said evil person, thereby crashing their website/computer/dishwater/troll cave.
159. Circus Kelli said:
GirlA -- That's great. Wait until I tell Hubby about this... then again, maybe he's already heard all those phrases... Heh, now there will be two Doocers in our house...
Closet Metro -- I had to explain shitmist to him after he read your comment on my blog... :)
160. jules said:
when i was in high school, i as a big band nerd in the drumline. I dont' know how it got started, but somehow dogbones we brought into the life of the drumline. before every competition, our instructor would walk around with his box of milkbones and give us all our dog biscuits that we'd promptly eat. Hasn't killed me yet. (:3
161. Laurie said:
Ah the days of danger park.
We have a danger park as well. Or as its known to our bunny "the living room"
Great pic as always
162. MP said:
I can't e-mail from work. This is too funny to wait to share. I was just now reading http://www.guardian.co.uk/online/weblogs/story/0,14024,1389925,00.html. "There's this: Last year, Delta Airlines flight attendant Heather Armstrong was sacked when managers found photos of her in her uniform on her website. A word has even been coined for the act of losing your job as a result of something written in your blog: "dooced", named after Dooce, Ms Armstrong's site." I didn't know Dooce was a flight attendant. ahahahahahaaaaa Fact checkers, ha!
163. Shiz said:
Hilarious, MP!
164. Becca said:
Dooce, you know, with all of your followers, you are in a way, a mafia boss. If you get hatemail, all you have to do is summon your forces.
I love the picture, btw, the mountains are beautiful.
165. Cammie said:
Nobody ever accused me of being a negligent parent except for DSS and they'll be here on Tuesday due to one of my concerned readers who believed I'd slap my son like a bitch in a bar. Honestly Heather, I don't know how you get away with it :P
166. 01234 said:
"you are in a way, a mafia boss. If you get hatemail, all you have to do is summon your forces."
A bit/ch like Elton John then?
167. Karen said:
This is a great article and worth the read - maybe even worth following up with an e-mail to GWB.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/01/12/opinion/garver/main666408.shtml
168. 01234 said:
"Delta Airlines flight attendant Heather Armstrong" Fan-fucking-tastic! So, Heather, where were you flying, and why haven't you told us about it? Bad girl!
This one is great: "We haven't even got a policy," a Royal Mail spokesman said. "It's not something we're particularly concerned about." Reminds me of the Ma Bell attitude (We don't care. We don't have to.) But with a twist: We don't care. Our reputation can't get any worse.
169. espressoblogiste said:
I wish the photo was BIGGER!!!
170. Zaz said:
*Feels compelled*
Dog biscuits aren't bad at all. Good source of protein, low sugar and (according to my grandfather who worked for Nabisco) made with the same exacting standards as people cookies.
Dooce has probably started a new trend - people feeding their babies dog biscuits as a healthy snack alternative.
171. Taylor said:
That scenery is ALMOST better than Giselle Bundchen's breasts.
172. Dara said:
wow! i like that! feeding Leta dog biscuits AGAIN??? lmao!
173. DeAnn said:
I never knew Utah was so BLUE!
174. Shiz said:
Heather B. Armstrong: Making Utah look good since 2001.
175. moose said:
add to the list: diving for the pearl... always thought that was so picturesque.
Could this be the unemployed flight attendant?
http://queenofsky.journalspace.com/
176. Mrs.Strizzay said:
01234 said at 12:23PM, 01.13.2005:
>>>“Delta Airlines flight attendant Heather Armstrong†Fan-fucking-tastic! So, Heather, where were you flying, and why haven’t you told us about it? Bad girl!<<<
Why do all her work posts (that I have read) talk about her being in an office,cubicle farts,paper work and what have you. Planes don't have offices or cubicles, unless that is attendant speak for the toilet.
177. BGS said:
"Could this be the unemployed flight attendant?
http://queenofsky.journalspace.com/"
Yep that's her. She's the one that came up with the Blogger Bill of Rights.
178. RazDreams said:
i honest-to-goodness was wonderin' about a "dooce intervention program" as well. the other night i dreamt something about the daily photo page, and it occurred over and over and over again, like a record skipping. i've detected a pattern, so i pace myself (sometimes)...she posts the photo in the morning, and then shortly thereafter she posts a "thinking" or "how to annoy me" or something. then...NOTHING...for hours. sometimes, sometimes, there might be another little tidbit during the day. but i have to wait ALLLLLLL the way until she finishes watching oprah or something until she posts a daily post. methinks i'm addicted. but i'm *trieding* to get it down to three or four hits a day.
DA = Dooce Anonymous. HELP ME. ;-)
179. song said:
why must you always have rolling big sky clouds? and that blue? Australian skies are flat whorish things in comparison dammit. Happy days Dooce.
180. RazDreams said:
errr...that's "i'm *trying* to get it down to three or four hits a day..." (okay, so i'm not there quite yet.)
181. Anonymom said:
I look forward to each photo. Thanks!
182. Nina said:
My friend gave my 10-month-old homemade teething biscuits that are in the shape of dog bones. I love the stares we get in public whenever I pull one of those out of the diaper bag. ;)
183. Tracy said:
Late contribution to the list:
awakening the sleeping bat
184. shelli said:
what' with the telletubby pole in the picture?
185. victoria said:
"Cooking the cucumber"?
?????
How, I mean, where, um, what is "cucumber" supposed to correspond to?
God I've led a sheltered life. I had never heard of ANY of these phrases before.
186. JessicaRabbit said:
Dog biscuits are just fine for you, it's when you start acting like a dog that you have to be concerned. My younger brother used to take the dog treats and hide in the closet to eat them, my mom didn't think it was a big deal until the next door neighbor lady came over to tell her that my brother was out in the back yard, so my mom went outside to find my 3 year old brother squatting and taking a nice healthy dump in the yard. Seems he had been sneaking out the side door of the house for quite some time during his potty training to poop with the doggie. Maybe it would not of been quite so bad, but at the time we were living in a trailer park and that sort of thing tends to get around. Lucky for my brother we moved before he got to much older, I'm thinking he would of had a hard time with the ladies with that reputation going around.
187. Shiz said:
Wait a second; there are people who visit dooce.com FIVE TIMES A DAY OR FEWER? Seriously? Why would they do that?
188. Belladonna said:
Oooo - pretty, but that's an odd-looking tree in the foreground there...
ahem
PS - the dog biscuit is probably more nutritious than the cereal anyway, and certainly better for those budding teeth - wait until she starts gnawing on everything in sight. Soon everything you own will be cutely dimpled by baby teeth... no, really, it's just a new texture pattern. :)
189. beachgal said:
Visit? I load the page first thing in the morning and just refresh all day. I never leave!
190. andrea said:
Same here, beachgal!
191. Colleen from NJ said:
kittie: "kissing the man in the canoe":
i can't stop shaking with held-back laughter and snorting.
192. becky said:
OMG, people. y'all are insane. seriously. ;)
heather and jon must be rolling in the floor at the carpet munching & canoe comments. i am.
193. KarenB said:
does anyone have the link to daniel's blog?
194. Kittie said:
awakening the sleeping bat? I am SO going to use that one!
195. Carol said:
http://danielleblog.com/
196. tiffany said:
Hey! For Christmas I made my friend's baby a bunch of teething biscuits shaped like dog bones so whenever they're in public people will think they're giving their kid doggy biscuits. Because I KNOW how much she loves to be embarrassed in public. (Hi Nina!!)
197. ashik said:
Awakening the sleeping bat...not terribly pleasant sounding, that one. But diving for the pearl - - that IS visually, er, stimulating.
198. Shiz said:
Ew. Okay, I know I'm sensitive, but a co-worker just put his hand on my back and I'm all feeling ew! ew! ew! right now. I'm sure it was innocent, but I'm really creeped out right now.
Ew.
199. Amanda B. said:
Innocently knee him in his special arrangement, Shiz!
200. GEORGE! said:
Circus Kelli the blurbodoocery is actually a warehouse. The pictures don't do justice for the actual size of the house. It's huge! So huge, that down in the basement I feel like I'm a giant because the ceiling can't be any higher than 6'5".
201. Chloe said:
The picture is gorgeous.
Oh, and about the one where you forgot to turn off the white balance for incandescent lighting or whatever: I wish I had white balance so I could see the sky that color. I suppose illegal drugs could probably provide some new and facinating colors, but I just don't think it's worth it, especially with you around to take pictures!
Also, as a midwesterner: inquiring minds need to know... how do you pronounce concrete? If kahn-creet is so wrong, than what can be right? Nothing! NOTHING!
202. Colleen from NJ said:
Shiz,
Tell your co-worker with the happy hands how hard it's been for you to get over your latest bout with body lice.
203. Karen B said:
thanks Carol
204. Circus Kelli said:
GEORGE! said at 02:35PM, 01.13.2005:
Circus Kelli the blurbodoocery is actually a warehouse. The pictures don’t do justice for the actual size of the house. It’s huge! So huge, that down in the basement I feel like I’m a giant because the ceiling can’t be any higher than 6’5â€.
I *knew* it!
205. RazDreams said:
GEORGEOUS!
206. BJT said:
That does it: I'm visiting Utah.
207. Michelle said:
http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/08_25_2003.html
I hope Beth 1) was one of those neighbors with whom you went to the zoo and 2) reminds Dooce of this (the above link) as part of tomorrow's 53 phone calls.
208. krissy pants said:
props to RazDreams for a most excellent usage of Georgeous
209. Shiz said:
Special arrangement? You crack me up!
Have any of you ladies heard the expression, "Which side do you dress?" I heard it THIS WEEK for the 1st time and I laughed hysterically. Apparently it's uncommon for men to "dress" on the right side.
210. andrea said:
Shiz, I don't get it. I don't get it!!! Are you talking about where they put their balls when they get dressed?
Ball-related story: a coworker's 3-year-old son ran up to her, butt naked, planted himself squarely in front of her, pointed to his "special arrangement" and said, "Mom? What are these? Seriously." She told him they are testicles.
Later on he took a spill off the back of the couch, and told his mom, "Mom, I fell, and now my stinkles hurt!"
Stinkles indeed!
211. Shiz said:
The side a man "dresses" on refers to, as a comedian put it, "Which way your wang hangs." When a man gets a suit tailor made, the tailor asks, "Which side do you dress" so he can but a bit more room on that side. True.
The comedian told his tailor "The right side" and the tailor kept saying, "Are you SURE?"
212. Shiz said:
Oooh, andrea, I've got another one. When a friend's son was in kindergarten the family watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. The following day in the car he said, "Mom I'm so happy! My technicals just dropped!"
213. closet metro said:
Shiz. left. not that you needed to know, but I felt compelled to share.
214. andrea said:
Ahh, thanks for enlightening me! Never heard that phrase before, although I figured it had something to so with the twig n' berries.
215. redsaid said:
Am I LAST?!? REALLY?!? HURRAY!
Hey Heather, stunning pic. My South African disposition (which is fragile whenever the temperature drops below 80) might even be willing to brave the cold for a visit to Utah. Everyone is right, the Tourism Board SHOULD pay you. And hell, the Mormons should be too. Just because they seem to have a lot of money. (Especially since Ken Jennings gave them a lot of his Jeopardy! earnings.) When they're done building elaborate temples, what else do they blow the cash on? The special secret underwear?
216. RazDreams said:
(why THANK YOU, krissy pants!!!)
217. Gia on Guam said:
Giselle Bundchen has fake breasts. On a recent VS catalog, she posed while lifting a breast with her wrist and her scar was clearly visible. I can't beleive they let that one go to print.
218. Alena said:
I can't think of any good euphamisms for girl-on-girl action, which is rather embarrassing, considering I'm a lesbian. However, I think my favorite one for female masturbation is 'rubbing one out'. As in, I'm going to stop posting so I can rub one out.
219. Eric said:
RE: wednesday's post: sounds like infant messaging!
220. Girl.A said:
Giselle is quite Callypigian.
221. jane said:
Were one to feed one's baby dog biscuits, the possibility exists that it would perhaps do one and one's baby no harm at all.
For example, one's mother may have let one's aunt babysit one until one was old enough to go to school, and during that time one may repeatedly have been fed dog biscuits for the amusement of said aunt. However, one may have grown up into a polyglot National Merit Scholar, regardless of the dog biscuits one may perhaps still be digesting.
One wishes good luck to one.
222. banana hands said:
another phrase for "rubbing one out" is "fiddling the bean"
223. James said:
Your pictures are too small.
224. hmm said:
Too small to steal and re-post elsewhere, James?
225. lulu cornichon said:
Too small to print out and use as a pretty emergency rain hat?
226. Lisa said:
Oh that's very funny about feeding Leta the dog biscuit. Hey, as long as she didn't start barking and the dog didn't start making baby noises, I doubt any harm was done! And if this did happen, you could probably get a spot on Dave Letterman!
227. Ren said:
Oh heeeeey, now that's nice! Man, I wish I had local views like that, truly.
228. Gia on Guam said:
Double Decker Tacos
229. Mrs.Strizzay said:
My husband says *flicking* the bean. UGH I hate it. I prefer fingering the accused or tickling my taco.
230. Amanda B. said:
Ahhhh. It's like the vagina monolouges in here. I'm so proud that so many women are in touch with their hoohoos.
And I have no doubt that the guys are too right about now.
231. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Punching the munchkin.
Making Miracle Whip.
Hounding the hog.
Punding the pumpkin.
232. JessicaRabbit said:
I had a guy friend who used to call it Spinning a Web. As in "I gotta go my girlfriend will be home soon and I wanted to slip in that new porn and spin a web real quick."
233. Mrs.Strizzay said:
I had someone say they wanted to beat my gorilla. I was all like huh wuh?
234. Girl.A said:
Jilling Off
Mending the Pink Sock
235. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Gack! I'm stuck in meetings and work all day (since 7 am) with no computer freedom whatsoever, and you guys are all in here talking euphemisms without me. :(
It's enough to make a girl wanna do a solo hike on the snail trail. . .
236. Girl.A said:
Ipsism, onanism; Amatripsis-rubbing labia together, Manuxorate-male using hand, Maritate-female alone, Siphnianize-anal, Syntribate-rubbing thighs together, Triborgasmia-wife who masturbates husband
http://www.darklady.com/Confessional03.html
237. brooke said:
*sigh* we don't have sights quite that amazing in eugene, oregon.. but sometimes pretty close.. shots like that make me do the "ooooooohhhh yea, this is why i live here" sigh.
238. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Hey, let's all get together and watch some porn!
239. Gia on Guam said:
What kind of porn?
240. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
No porn could be more obscene than the fact that my workday is going on 16 hours now.
Help me! I've fallen and I can't blog!
241. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
No animals, if that's what you're asking.
242. Chelsea said:
I cant believe you mentioned the dreaded lipstick. GROT.
243. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Chelsea, a male dog without lipstick is. . .well, just not interested.
244. Jessie said:
So its funny how a beautiful picture can evoke comments about "hounding the hog" and porn watching hehe. So sick minded people...that's why I visit this site on a regular basis
245. Monica said:
"flick the switch"
That just sounds painful...
246. Jessie said:
wait....do guys have to think about which side they dress or is it a natural thing? Im so clueless
247. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
On the lipstick thing, my neighbor says his dog is "sporting a carrot."
248. Gia on Guam said:
I just saw the grossest thing.
Joanie Laurer aka WWF's Chyna has a new porn flick. This link will lead you to a close up shot of her sterioded nether regions.I dare not post the direct link.
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2594
249. coskel said:
Bucky Four-Eyes: I feel your pain - 48 hrs, w/6 hours of sleep, and I have a new site rolling this weekend, so no REAL rest until sometime Tuesday, I'm thinking.
250. Jill said:
Stirring the bean curd!
251. Gia on Guam said:
I've never heard it called "lipstick" and had to think about it before it dawned on me. I just call it "red rocket". And my friend's pug gets a red rocket each time he see's me.
252. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Throwing chromosomes.
253. Mrs.Strizzay said:
OMG Gia I just looked at that. She has a mini penis. I feel like Ace Ventura when he was all vomiting and setting his clothes on fire, and I only looked at it.
*Thanks*
254. The Narcissist said:
Has anyone ever gotten excited about being last here?
255. GEORGE! said:
I have
256. J.D. said:
Me too.
257. Euphemisms said:
shelling the oyster, slamming the clam, play solitaire, get some self, play the clitar, play the fiddle, thumb the button, tickle the crack, tickling her fancy, tom-tom, water the hot spot, wax the bean, wax the bean, wax the saddle, take a finger ride, pet the petunia, pet the pussy (cat), pet the poodle, pinch the cat,gentle the genitalia, get a fat lip, get a lube job, get a stinky pinky, get gravel for the goose, get some trim, stir the cauldron, juice the fruit, knead your dough, give oneself a low five, grab the flab, grab the goatee, grease the gash, grease the goofy, grease the dildo, dunk the doughnut, feeding the slot, feeding the other mouth, feeding the bearded clam, feel the fur, flog the muffin, flip the flaps, massaging the oyster
258. RazDreams said:
Prediction for next picture...Leta. Methinks an artsy-fartsy-type picture would be really kewl, like odd pictures of doorknobs or signs or interesting architecture.
259. jules said:
and after that, is there really anything left to say?
umm.. apparently.. (:3
260. RazDreams said:
Oh, wait!!! RUFF!!! Today's "Chuck Friday," so perhaps it's a picture of His Majesty, maybe getting caught in the act of doing some bad thing.
261. Girl.A said:
Hey, Raz, I thought today is going to be the 2nd Weekly Chuckwagon Friday!
262. RazDreams said:
Yes, I re-thunk my thoughts, and realized that today's Friday. So maybe it's Chuck AND Leta. But we just saw Chuck playing with a big scary-looking black dog. Hm. Chuck and Leta. That's my new guess.
263. Chloe said:
Petting the bunny.
Double-clicking the mouse.
Both are terms of which I learned in my human sexuality class.
264. giggles said:
Heads up to Dooce - don't watch the first half hour of the Today show today. Bob Costas will be drolling on and on and on....and I believe you don't care for this particular persons voice. Just a heads up. :-)
265. RazDreams said:
hm.
266. Gooooder said:
The titles of those pictures are genius, good work Emily!