Hammer time!
Actually, I think I was doing a rather bad interpretation of the Roger Rabbit.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Laura said:
OMG IM so close to first!
2. jules said:
awesome light! :)
3. Zak said:
nice dancin'
4. Katie said:
1st? Maybe? Love the site! Love the picture! Love the new masthead! Love Leta! Could I use anymore exclamation points?
5. Wayne said:
Almost first! LOL!
6. midwifegoddessannie said:
What the hell are you doing?
7. Laura said:
OMG I WAS FIRST. I DIDNT EVEN TRY TO BE FIRST. BUT I WAS FIRST. I can die a happy woman now. Oh yeah I have to say hi to my sister Ashley too. She and I read your site everyday and then coo at how cute Leta is. ASHLEY IM FIRST! WHOA!
8. Em said:
Oh my. Bust a move, girl.
9. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Does the world need an excuse to watch a hot chick swing from the chandelier?
10. Wayne said:
Btw, the new layout is kewl and hilarious! :D
11. Sherri said:
I think that's the greatest picture you've ever posted!
Get down wit' you bad self!
12. RazDreams said:
Dr. Johnny Fever, it's actually "Pine Green" from the Crayola Color Box (*mmm, sniff*).
http://www.crayola.com/colorcensus/americas_favorites/display.cfm?color=273
13. midwifegoddessannie said:
Uncle Tom wouldn't happen to be DJ Blurbs brother by any chance??
14. sarcastic journalist said:
...can't touch this!
15. Cheryl said:
I am so glad that someone else enjoys the pleasure of doing the mc hammer dance. I also do lots of other dances and look horrible doing them. At least I have fun right? What's the point when you don't make an ass out of yourself?
16. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
I'm having flashbacks of a Taylor Dayne video.
17. Anthony said:
It's funny how people stop making comments when they lose the chance of being first. ;)
Is that a smile I see?
18. jastereo said:
Are you aware how many people run home at lunch to convene the procedure after reading your monthly letter to leta. She is so...damn...cute we all want one!
19. tiffany said:
Hahaha! Now that is a cool picture. Is the person on the righthand side dancing too? Or fleeing?
What a beautiful letter, Heather. I know you don't write them for anyone but Leta, but they really are a joy to read. I wish I had my act together enough to do something every month like that. I bet Leta's baby book is updated regularly and has like pictures in it too, isn't it? My poor kid is going to have to print out my website someday, edit out all the cursing and assemble his own baby book.
20. midwifegoddessannie said:
Laura take a pill honey... you must have a really slow computer ;)
21. Erin said:
At first glance I thought you were holding that dangling lamp. You look like you could be up on your toes like Michael Jackson, you know, except for the whole (alleged) child molesting thing.
22. RazDreams said:
I'm the FIRST to spot the nerd watch!!!
23. Wicked H said:
Dooce getting jiggy with it.
You go girl!!!
Happy New Year to one and all!!!!
24. August95 said:
Thats the way Heather. Dance like nobody is watching. Even when they are.
25. Lauren said:
It looks like you're swinging in the lam like tarzan. Awwwwesome.
26. jules said:
Awesome like a hot dog?
Awesome like 10 million h ot dogs sir.
27. sporty said:
LT? Where are you?
28. Sissychong said:
You go girl, shake whatcha momma gave ya!
29. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Is it me or do those bulbous lamps look conspicuously like Darth Vader's testicles?
30. Laura said:
midwifegoddessannie: please dont take my happiness away. I was first!!!!!!!!!!
31. amberlyn said:
the roger rabbit rules! AND, fun new game: hitting refresh on the browser just after dooce posts her new picture. 0 - 20 comments in just 2 seconds!
32. Ashley said:
Laura: you were so not first!
Dooce: Laura's right though, I always say I want a baby that looks like Leta.
33. Heather said:
Wow... and you're not even biting your bottom lip! I hate when I do that... and someone catches it on film.
34. barbie2be said:
love the new look heather. and, i gotta say... Leta is just TOO damn cute.
35. Dazed & Confuzed said:
OK those light fixtures need to be in my house - like...right now. Nice pose, Dooce! Everybody Wang Chung tonight, if you're not busy.
36. RazDreams said:
If you look carefully at the picture, you'll see that Dooce is actually in the throes of kicking a stupid anonymous e-mailer who sends her mean "advice." A second after this photo was taken, she likely then pounded the e-mailer with her raised fist.
It's true: notice the wickedly happy smile on her face.
;-)
37. Sherri said:
It does kinda look like you just jumped down off the ceiling.
What were you doing up there? Reconvening the procedure?
38. tiffany said:
OMG I am cracking up - what a weird way to be mean. Deny their firstdom even though they totally were first! Never ever allow them the joy of relishing in it. I wonder if we could ALL deny it and make poor Laura go insane.
Laura, don't worry honey, I believe you. Surrrre you were first.
-giggle- this place is so funny.
39. Kerri said:
LOLOLOL!
Something about that picture is so funny!
40. Alex said:
Oh, my! Oh, Heather!
Hmm...I'd say it's more like the Cabbage Patch.
41. shy me said:
Go Heather... It's yer birthday... Go Heather.
42. Fish said:
Well, its not naked drunken underpants remodeling, but its a start!
43. Liz said:
Love it. Very cute pic. :)
44. becky said:
are you sure that's not a bad "running man"?
45. Heather said:
Oh man, Heather, that is AWESOME! Great picture.
46. becca said:
Hee. I love how there's a mirror behind you, so we get DOUBLE the dancing Heather.
47. LadyBug said:
You look you're jumping on a trampoline...this pic would be on the way back down.
48. Meggan said:
What a great action shot! And I love the weird lamps too.
49. Jess from B-lo said:
Shake yer groove thang, yeah yeah yeah.
50. the niffer said:
I really hope there is a bottom half to that picture and you're wearing parachute pants.
51. beachgal said:
Neat pic. I don't know what else to say.
Hope the Dooceland has a great New Year. Loved the pics from the weekend, and the newsletter.
There, that's something to say.
52. Jodi S. said:
You do so look like you just dropped from the ceiling....
53. Eric said:
MMM. . . Beefcake watch. . .
54. Heatheranne said:
At least you were having fun, and you smiled!
55. boom said:
midwifegoddessannie: you're right, Uncle Tom totally looks like Jon. They must be brothers.
56. Jenn said:
Halarious.....
57. patti said:
Great "Elaine" dance going on there
58. Laura said:
Okay....dooce..whats up. On my computer it shows me Im first. You have a wicked system dont you...making people think they're first. I think I'll go cry now.
59. LadyBug said:
The question is...Does Uncle Tom have a cabin?
Okay, I admit it...that was lame. Getting back to work now...
60. Mrs.Stray said:
It's the pleasure principle. Woah. Woooah.
61. JuJuBee said:
Break it down, girl...
Who the hell says "break it down"?
Was this a New Years Eve thing?
62. RazDreams said:
(somebody tell the poor girl that she was being teased, please.)
63. Girl From Ipanema said:
The first thing that came to me was "Funky Cole Medina"....nice moves, Dooce! :)
64. amberlyn said:
but Laura was first. way up there at the top. man. i got your back, girly.
65. amy said:
Love, love, LOVE the new masthead! And this picture, priceless. Send this to the people who send you hate mail. Call it the f*ck you dance!
66. Trance said:
You're wearing MC Hammer pants, aren't you? 'Fess up.
67. bp said:
The biting of the lip... where i come from that's called, "The Caucasian Overbite." Yes. The Caucasian Overbite happens when a white person tries to get down... It helps, I think, to get your ass in a steady rhythm.
68. Bruno said:
Lamps.
69. kate said:
awesome moves...
70. Fish said:
From memory:
My music hits me, so hard. Makes me say, oh my Lord. Thank you, for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two right feet.
Next up, LL cool J.
71. Fish said:
Oh yeah, and as far as "Releasing the Inner Monologue," goes, no sweat. You only have to be concerned when you release the inner dialogue.
72. Elegant Goose said:
I checked the site about an hour and a half ago and was thinking "heh... I can at least make top twenty" but then there wasn't even a new picture up yet. Now there are over fifty! Geez, do we all just sit around waiting for Dooce to wake up and post something? Like that woman in some commercial years ago waiting for a sale to start at a store, tapping the glass, saying "open, open, open." (Does anyone else remember that or am I just pathetically brainwashed by commercials?)
Anyways, Leta's new pictures are so damn cute. I don't know what day they were posted but geez, woman, you got a gorgeous daughter. You and Jon hit the genetic jackpot!
~eg
73. honestpaula said:
If you were living in Texas, I'd think you were stomping on cockroaches.
Blogaid is a great idea!
74. Carol said:
fish - you makin' fun of me?
75. Kristine said:
LOL! You guys are cracking me up.
Fish-I am going to have that MC Hammer lyric in my head for the next 4 hours!!
Heather has that "Power to the People" arm thing going. If we didn't know what she was doing and did some creative cropping she could either be beathing the hell out of someone, or leading a nation into war.
76. Ashley said:
Laura- I see it now. Weird.
Elegant Goose- I remember that commercial. It was for mervyns clothing stores.
77. Scott said:
Actually, I think those lamps are swinging quickly back and forth across the room. They are doing this as part of an elaborate booby trap system to protect the gold Mayan idol on the other side. The girl off camera has just been hit with poison darts and Dooce is doing her best Indiana Jones dive roll to make it out alive. She's a female action achaeologist!
78. JulieT said:
Alright!!!
Dooce, love the new masthead... I was here last night commenting and I hit "refresh" everything went from burgundy to aqua ALL OF A SUDDEN! It was trippy.
Bless you for your post about BlogAid. If I thought mine would make any money I'd be right on it. Guess I'll have to help in other ways!
79. TracyDee said:
Can't touch this... :)
80. Girl.A said:
STAND BACK PEOPLE!
SHE IS UNLEASHING HER INNER 'LOG'!
Who knows what kind of pressure has built up!
81. Carol said:
Oh, cool new look. Nevermind, Fish.
82. Fish said:
No Carol, the other you.
83. Circus Kelli said:
You look like you're having such fun, Dooce! You GO, girl!
84. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch said:
Did you ever do the 'Potato chip'?
It was some sort of Rico Suave move where you kick your feet to the side while putting your thumbs through your belt loops. Or, maybe it was just called the Rico Suave.
In any matter your Letter to Leta at 11 months has me in tears. I hate crying at work and the something in my eye routine is getting old.
The letter was wonderful and sweet and My God woman thank goodness there are mothers and daughters out there like you and her because the world needs more love. And the world needs more "Go Dog Go". Thank you for providing me and us with all that love and shmushiness.
85. Heather G. said:
GO DOOCE, GO DOOCE, GO DOOCE! SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE!
86. TheLauraWhoWasn'tOMGfirst said:
I think Heather should start banning IPs of people who have an anyeurism trying to claim first comment.
Or maybe just ban mine for being an insolent killjoy.
More pics of 80s dances plz k thx.
87. emily said:
that is the coolest masthead evah.
88. sweetney said:
if only those globe lights were disco balls...
89. Amanda B. said:
Jesus says to calm your ass down.
90. Carol said:
Fish - bleieve it or not, for me it IS an inner DIALOGUE. Especially since it's been 3 days without a cigarette or any caffeine. I'm actually sweating right now.
"Oh, just one. No. Please? NO!!"
91. tickled said:
MASTHEAD? What masthead? You mean others have been seeing a masthead
all the time I've been crying for one?
Waaah! Wanna masthead! How do I go about getting one?
92. Fish said:
Carol: www.trytostop.org
'sgood for what ails ya.
93. LadyBug said:
I don't usually comment on the "I'm First!" commenters, but today's just killed me. What got me was Laura's "acceptance speech":
Laura said at 08:28AM, 01.04.2005:
OMG I WAS FIRST. I DIDNT EVEN TRY TO BE FIRST. BUT I WAS FIRST. I can die a happy woman now. Oh yeah I have to say hi to my sister Ashley too. She and I read your site everyday and then coo at how cute Leta is. ASHLEY IM FIRST! WHOA!
...and I'd like to thank all the fans, and of course the Mormon God, and my family...you've all been so supportive of my efforts to be first......
Laura, no offense intended, dear. I just thought it was TOO funny.
94. Jess from B-lo said:
tickled, hunny, just hit 'refresh'
95. Denise said:
i'm going to have that song in my head for the entire day now...
love the new masthead :)
96. red said:
OMG, that is hilarious!! LOL! my friends and i like to break those old school dance moves out on occasion for some good laughs. :)
97. Moxie said:
Heather 3000:"Shake it, shake it
Sh-shake it (Oh oh!)
Shake it like a polaroid picture"
98. tickled said:
Just got a message that my "comment submission failed."
Could've fooled me! I've already seen it, as post #91.
Am I hallucinatin' or somethin'?
99. Lauren said:
I think you're learning how to log roll on white water.
100. tpaquin said:
Looks like you could have been showing the room of New Years partiers how to do really loud arm pit farts.
Art is in the eye of the beholder.
Perhaps I should get glasses...
Peace and happy new year
101. muffy said:
You also look like you're in the air and clinging onto those lights.
good times.
Love the new banner!
102. al said:
Leta wasn't watching was she?
103. tickled said:
Jess from B-lo, hunny, please
clarify. I hit refresh all the time, but it don' ever get me no masthead!
Also--did someone say something about pine green?
All I've ever gotten is a sh-- brown left-hand border from which the letters look as if they've barely managed to escape.
And the comment numbers! Oh migawd, the comment numbers!
THEY're in burnt orange, barely distinguishable from the sh-- brown. What'm I doing wrong?
104. Shiz said:
Totally fun pic. Trying to fly w/o the feather?
105. mrs. george #2 said:
what i think is funny is everyone spends an entire morning arguing over who was or was not first. the fact that this poor child thinks being today's first commenter is an accomplishment worthy of thanking her personal diety for is touching yet sad.
the fact that 20 people tried to convince her she was NOT first and then laughed their asses off when ran from the room sobbing, is pretty damn sadistic. laura, you can come down from the top of that building now because you were first.
106. donnaly said:
dooce
I too can't wrap my brain around that much distruction. I spent a lot of time here:
http://www.nytimes.com/pages/world/worldspecial4/
The photos on the multimedia section tore at my heart. Thank you for providing me another way to help contribute the ait being sent to those who have lost everything.
107. melissa said:
Nice new look! Just wanted to mention that in Canada, until Jan 11, if you donate to Red Cross/World Vision etc for tsunami relief the Canadian government matches your donation so your cash goes twice as far. I know some U.S. donors have gone to the redcross.ca site to donate so they can get the double up.
108. christy said:
Shake that money maker girlfrien'!
109. LadyBug said:
I should clarify...in my comment about Laura's "acceptance speech," I added the stuff about thanking the fans, etc. I should've done a better job of separating that part from the quoting of Laura's comment. Sorry 'bout that.
110. Amanda B. said:
Aw Dooce. You're a sweetheart. We are so blessed in this country- it's the least we can do to share the wealth when people are in need.
Kudos.
Jesus says you're off the hook for the dancin.
111. RazDreams said:
tickled: clear your CACHE, child!!! "Clear it, Clear it, Clear it like a Etch-A-Sketch screen!!!"
anyone willing to help: do you guys see Comment Numbers (i.e., do you see which comment # I am right here for this post)? where do you see it, and how do i get my machine to show me comment numbers?
112. mrs. george #2 said:
you're #111. you need a mac, my PC at work doesn't show it either.
113. Fish said:
Amanda B: Jesus told me to tell you that he really needs his suits back from the drycleaners.
114. tickled said:
Raz Dreams -- I just DID clear my cache, my throat, my desk, etc.
Didn't do any good.
Whimper.
115. Fish said:
Tickled: it may be something with your security software, or you just need to dump your cache completely and start from scratch as Razdreams said.
Razdreams/MG2: download and use Mozilla's Firefox on the PC. Open source is good, and you'll see the comment numbers.
116. Fish said:
tickled: sorry about the repetetive advice.
117. Amanda said:
oooh no!!! FLASH BACK GALORE!! Can you believe that my parents and school friends allowed me to enter the fifth grade talent show dancing to "You can't touch this"??? A white girl ballerina and her hip hop routine.....*gasp* Horrible. Just horrible. Thank dooce. *rasberry*
118. Girl.A said:
I think it's Internet Explorer that doesn't show the comment numbers. Mozilla and Macs seem to display comment numbers as does my blackberry.
119. donnaly said:
comment numbers show up on my PC using IE (as well as on foxfire on the home PC)
120. Cindy said:
Heather,
You are a truly wonderful person.
Thank you for all you do in sharing the humor and beauty in your life. Your compassion, complexity, humor, and bravo is truly a gift.
Thank you for sharing. :-)
121. geena said:
So how does Google Adsense work? Does money automatically get generated if I click one of the google links on dooce?
122. Jenny said:
I thought I was clever and figured out what Thanksgiving's photo was ... http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/11_25_2004.htm, but I don't think I did.
Shake your thang!
123. Jess from B-lo said:
Tickled:
Sorry darlin it worked for me. I'll stop pretending to be computer literate.
124. Shawn said:
Hot moves there Sweet Feet!
125. Closet Metro said:
I am so glad I have learned to set the coffee cup down before reading a comment from Dr. Johnny Fever. Experience saved me a Juan Valdez Sinus Flush. Couldn't pick it back up until the conversation geeked out to "use firefox."
Y'all make me giggle.
126. Jeanine said:
Just read your letter to Leta. It brought me to tears. Isn't love a wonderful thing?
Love the dance...you don't show enough pictures of your fine self!
127. kim said:
I actually skanked on New Year's Eve, because my husband did his attempt at skanking, and my, he can't skank to save his life, so I skanked all over his ass.
(my friend and I actually moshed at my wedding too, but alas, we went at it really hard on the first go, and so one full-on body slam was as long as it lasted, alas.)
128. wix said:
it looks like you're jumping on the bed! and those hanging lights to your left? superfuckingcool. oops, that's supertraintrackscool...i'm cutting down on the cursing before CX's first word is 'fuck'.
129. Library Girl said:
Whoa!
Break. It. Down.
130. Fish said:
Award for best out of context quote for today goes to Kim:
"so I skanked all over his ass."
teeheeehehehehehe.
131. zchamu said:
Dooce, you are fucking awesome in so many ways.
132. Girl.A said:
There's a skank that lives on my street. She kinda smells like ass.
My mom told me never to skank because I would grow up to look like Zingbah.
133. Fish said:
Girl.A: is that kind of like 'if you keep making that face its gonna stay that way'?
134. Gordon said:
Heather: "TAKE THAT YOU FRIGGIN, PIECE OF MORMON TRASH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!"
135. tickled said:
NEWSFLASH to Fish and RazDreams: Thanx for advice, but 'twaren't practical; I'm on a Mac, not a PC, and I don't have Mozilla. BUT: Big Dad stumbled out of bed at that moment, ambled over to the iMac, and within moments I got the masthead, the color, the works!
When I asked him what magic he worked, he said he didn't do
nothin'--that dooce herself must be diddling with the programming.
Right now I'm getting everything
hunky-dory on Explorer except no pic of bouncing dooce. Getting different layout on Netscape--all text centrally located but no comment numbers.
Dooce, dearie, was Big Daddy right? Are you tinkering with the innards?
136. Amanda B. said:
Fish- Mary's baby daddy said watch it or He will smite thee.
137. Leon said:
Everytime you see her
That Dooce is just so hyped
It's Heather Go Heather
Heather B Yo Dooce and the rest can go and play
Shaking it like a white girl
....at least she's not biting her bottom lip
138. Girl.A said:
If your face makin it with a skank, you face will get that way.
139. Weez said:
Dooce is on BBC (sort of)! This article talks about being "dooced". They don't mention you specifically, but we all know the origins of that word.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4115073.stm
140. Stephanie said:
Damn, were you drunk there? You go Dooce!
141. Fish said:
Amanda B: yeah unto thee, Mississippi Queen, cometh the angel of fire to smoke yo' ass.
So sez the Burning Bush.
142. The Mighty Jimbo said:
all right stop.
colaborate and listen.
dooce is back without constipation.
143. donnaly said:
Closet Metro giggles?
Say it ain't so!
144. Mariposa said:
LMAO! Were you really doing the Hammer? Go Heather GO Heather It's not your birthday!
It said : DOWNLOAD MC HAMMER NOW! On your google Ad.
Then it said: "Discounted, Embroidered aprons!" WTF?
145. LeChico said:
dear dooce,
your concern for us and the problems we're facing here in south+south east asia is touching. its people like u who are our beacon of light when thgs here r so dismal.
i returned to dooce.com for the first time since the 26th and as always, you've made me smile.
thank you!
146. Amanda B. said:
Damn. We are a bunch of goofy crackers. That means you too Jimbo. I actually believe that 4 outta 5 people here know most of the words to "Ice Ice Baby".
Fish- uh huh huh...you said "bush".
147. Closet Metro said:
Yeah I giggle. Fish, Amanda B, Girl.A, Gordon and Mighty Jimbo just made me giggle again.
148. Danielle said:
I love the new look! But also? Is there a GOOD interpretation of the Roger Rabbit? I think not. Nothing about that "move" is good. Except the nostalgia factor.
149. bb said:
Honestly, what were you doing????
150. La Pixiatrix said:
That expression beats a shitty-ass smile any day of the week!
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on
Like that
Like that
Cold on a mission so fall on back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a beat
They can't touch
151. Laura said:
Okay peeps. When I log onto this page, I am sooooooooo first. No numbers, I am just the top post. And please dont steal my thunder. Gawd I never ever am first. Am I missing something here people? Do others see a post ABOVE my post? What am I missing.
Secondly Ladybug. . . . That comment rocks. I was so going to do an "acceptance speech" but I didnt because I was still SO EXCITED OVER BEING FIRST! And FYI. I do not pray to the mormon god. Must we forget that mormons are evil (somewhat?)
3 - Mrs. George #2. Thank you.
And D - haha okay four, I have to say hi to Ashley again, since I know she is refreshing this over and over again. lol.
152. chickenflicken said:
Heather, you are just precious.
Go, white girl!
Go, white girl!
GO!!
153. Paige said:
The girl next to you is also dancing? Or running away? :)
154. LadyBug said:
Laura, I don't pray to the Mormon God, either. I put that in your acceptance speech because the Mormon God has been voted the "Deity Most Likely To Be Made Fun Of At Dooce.com."
155. shellibells said:
Doin' da butt uhhhuuuh, sexy sexy!!!
I have to say whoever started with the Ice Ice Baby had me rofl.
156. tickled said:
Nutz, ratz, and a whole string of swear words!
I finally get the masthead and the color and all, but I can't get any of the pix except the one of dooce's face being clawed at by
babyfingers.
Whose God have I offended THIS time?
157. sam said:
Personally, I'd rather see you doing the Charlie Brown - a dance move above all others!
158. Leslie said:
If only I had these lamps maybe people would party like this at my house!
159. kalisah said:
you're dancing on the table, aren't you?
160. Peeps said:
Dooce - great picture and an all around great site!
Laura - on my screen you appear to be first - way to go!
Peeps
161. Girl.A said:
Tickled, has someone installed/re-configured some firewall software or anything like Zone Alarm?
162. Kahli said:
Laura, you are first on my screen too.
Nice work! Now hawnk at that brawd!
163. jules said:
You have offended my god, the god of s's...
164. George Lover said:
Gosh, Dooce, you look like you're having so much fun! Must be early in the evening, 'cause I couldn't jump like that after many adult beverages.
And about the comment numbers--I could see them fine a month or so ago and now-nothing.
165. George Lover said:
And another thing. I hate FoxNews.
166. sheyna said:
i like that move. you should do it more often.
167. NOBlog said:
miss lapixiatrix....? only because i miss you. i'll stop being demanding now.
168. tickled said:
Girl.A: Aaah, not that I know of. Nobody here but us chickens. Big Dad's lurching around somewhere hereabouts, but so far hasn't reconfigured anything--only scratched his ass and yawned.
For Jules: Oh, good. Eventually I hope to offend EVERYBODY's god. Did you know there are at least twenty-plus "holy books," all of them claiming to be His only word?
169. Kieran said:
Ut Oh Ut Oh here comes the hammer
170. shellibells said:
Dooce, you look like you've got a fierce grip on that lamp and are about to fling it the fuck across the room!!
171. invaderzim said:
I met Roger Rabbit once...
172. susu said:
What The Flippin Fuck.
173. Miss Kimberley said:
Perhaps you should have busted a move like the ones they taught you in L.A.? Or just watch some John Travolta movies. No matter how old he gets, or how creepy with that Scientology bit, he gets hotter and hotter.
174. jules said:
huh.. groovy.
(:3
175. Lovisa said:
I hope to see more "pop-lockin'" pictures in the future.
176. Kristine said:
Love the lamps the most. Can't tell if they are retro or avant-garde, but I do remember some like these in my distant 1960s childhood ...
177. Amanda B. said:
Hmmm. SuSu. You wouldn't be BR5-49's SuSu would you? If not forgive, please.
178. Fran said:
I thought Heather joined the Black Panthers. She's got the Hand move down. Sho nuff.
179. julieb said:
please dooce, don't hurt 'em...
180. Colleen from NJ said:
I dig those crackly testicle lamps.
181. ab said:
Go white girl! Go...go...go white girl!!!
182. Closet Metro said:
Colleen & Dr. Johnny - that's what happens when you don't wear a jock strap: Four Foot Nuts.
183. honestyrain said:
here's the thing. you are a braver man than i. we neither of us are men but still. i would not likel ever let someone take a picture of me dancing. and if one were taken without my concent i would not allow it to be published on the internet.
that's how embarrassing it would be.
that bad.
not that i can't dance,
184. Laura said:
Yo! V.I.P.! Let's kick it!
185. Fish said:
How's it go ... Step off the mike and let the DJ revolve it ... ?
186. Amanda B. said:
Check out the hook, while my DJ revolves it. goob. :)
187. Fish said:
AB, you're still the freshest mutha around.
188. Fish said:
I mentioned LL Cool J before:
"So forget OREO eat Cool J Cookies!"
189. Amanda B. said:
Word. ;)
190. Fish said:
Excuse me if someone else has quoted this gem: "Jump to the rhythm, jump jump to the rhythm. Come on let's sweat. SWWEEEAAT."
So, would that be DJ Blurb who is "revolvin'" it while Heather does her best "fly girl" impression?
191. Christine said:
oh my lord, is that a SWAG LAMP? as an aside, please reconsider giving to the red cross and donate to unicef, unicef gives 100% of donations to the sufferers of tragedy. Red Cross gives only 60% and uses the rest for "administrative fees". Also, unicef will give to whatever tragedy you specify, the Red Cross just puts all of the money into a slush fund and gives it to wherever they deem fit.
192. Amanda B. said:
Oooh. Fish that's a good one. How about "Rico....Suave...."
193. Girl.A said:
Yo,sound the bells, school is in, sucker
U can't touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making 'em sweat
That's what I'm giving'em
Now they know
You talk about the Hammer, you're talking about a show
That's hyped and tight
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe
194. FB said:
Fish:
When I'm alone in my room
Sometimes I stare at the wall
And in the back of my mind
I hear my conscience call
Telling me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove
For the first time in my life, I see I need love
Amanda B., Fish, Closet, et al... you fucking crack me up. Every day.
195. balsum said:
Dooce in the news:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4115073.stm
196. La Pixiatrix said:
Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin.
I came to win, battle me, that's a sin.
I won't ever slack up, punks you better back up.
Try to play the role, and the whole crew will act up.
Get up, stand up, c'mon put your hands up,
And if you get the feeling, jump across the ceiling.
Least with the funk flow, man you talkin' junk yo.
Bust 'em in the eye, and then I'll take the punks home.
Feelin, funkin', man's it's in the junk,
And I got more ryhmes than the cops at a Dunkin Donuts shop.
197. Sarah said:
Are those hanging light thingies the mystery picture that you had a while ago...I think it was around Thanksgiving?
DON'T YELL AT ME IF ANYONE ELSE HAS SAID THIS, THERE ARE TOO MANY COMMENTS TO GO THROUGH, PEOPLE!!!
198. Fish said:
YYYOUOUU! GOT WHAT I NEEE-EEEED!
you say he's just a friend. you say he's just a friend.
OH BAY-BEE YOU! GOT WHAT I NEEE-EEEED!
199. christy said:
I always thought it was "a mind to rhyme and two fast feet?"
Anyway, I gotta get rollin' in my five point oh with the rag-top down so my hair can blow.
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it ...
200. Fish said:
La Pix: You've been to camp randall stadium, haven't you?
Girl.A: You have your answer.
201. Molly said:
Did anyone else find the cafe nerd link on the main page hilarious? no? well.. then I guess I am just a nerd.
Lovely 11 month update!
202. Olly said:
Ha ha, thats acetastic! Reminds me of my little sister doing a Danni Minogue dance back in the early 90s :o)
203. jen said:
you look like the image of the firedancer...dave matthews band :o)
204. Kristine said:
Ohhh, look, there is another Kristine here, and it's not me.
It wasn't an imposter so that's a good thing.
205. Beth said:
I think that's more of a Milli Vanilli interpretive "Girl, You Know It's True" dance! You cropped it there to hide the spandex pants, right?
206. Shiz said:
Dooce, I was reading some recent posts and I just about answered the phone right now with "Boobah."
207. Melanie S said:
I have to ask...
Is the lamp in the current picture the unknown object in you Thanksgiving post?
http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/11_25_2004.html
208. Rachael said:
Heather, I love the new look of the site. And thank you for sharing all the GREAT pics of Leta. She is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS! My baby is 16 months old and also the light of my life!!
209. Gia on Guam said:
Baby let me show you how to do this
You got to move this
You´re doin´ fine
There´s nothin´ to it
You got to groove it
Come on and move this
Shake that body for me
210. Gia on Guam said:
Lovisa! Haha Pop n' Lock Pop Pop n' Lock.
Btw, SuSu means 'boobs' in Chamorro (indigenous language of Guam) and bebe (short sound not like bee bee) means pussy.
211. Fish said:
Gia: That's why my son regularly wears the bib so prominently displayed on yesterday's post.
212. Kristine said:
Dooce is "Hammer Time" era.
I'm "Jam on it" era. How old that makes me feel...
"We rocked this bet with a 12 inch cut called Disco Kryptonite
Well, Superman looked up at me, he said, “You rock so naturallyâ€
I said now that you’ve learned to deal, let me tell you why I’m so for real
I’m Cozmo D from outer space, I came to rock the human race
I do it right ‘cause I can’t do it wrong
That’s why the whole world is singin’ this song
(Jam on it) Jam on it"
213. Fran said:
The Thanksgiving photo isn't the ball lamp. It looks more like looking through the back side of a wreath or other plant type material.
214. Kristine said:
and no, I will not be posting an 80's picture of me break dancing.
Heaven forbid me messing up my Camaro Bangs!
215. Gia on Guam said:
Fish,
As precious as your guppy is, there is NO way he can be mistaken for an islander. Sorry Charlie (tuna reference...get it? Fish, tuna? *tough crowd*
Should I be gross and say that's not the first 'bebe' he's had around his neck? *shoot me*
216. Katie said:
2 legit, 2 legit to quit!
217. dooce said:
The S is for superior
The U is for unique
The P is for perfection, and you know that we are freaks.
The E is for exotic
The R is for our rap
So tell those nosy people just to stay the hell back
Supersonic.
218. Nikki said:
That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and a smile
That girl is poison
219. Nikki said:
Oops. My age is showing.
220. Girl.A said:
Flash light
Red light
Neon light
Ooh, stop light
221. Amanda B. said:
Fish. "You ought not to a' done that. He's just a boy..."
"Informer you no say daddy me Snow me I'll go blame,
A licky Boom Boom down
Detective mon said daddy me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky Boom Boom Down."
222. La Pixiatrix said:
LMAO Amandabird!
I clocked the jizz from a friend
Of yours named Vanessa Bet
She said u told her a fantasy
That got her all wet
Something about a little box with a
Mirror and a tongue inside
What she told me then got me so hot
I knew that we could slide
Gett off
223. shara said:
okay, so i never comment, i am actually kind of anti-comment, but the new masthead is so brilliant that i had to let you know how much i like it. a lot!
224. jen said:
i'm sorry if this was posted, so many comments to sift through, but i saw this article on the bbc website today about being 'dooced' and i thought of this site. is that where the current design came from or was it coincidence? here is the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4115073.stm
225. Amy said:
Was SuperFlyin'Chuckles safely un-underfoot?
226. jesslin said:
Love the new masthead! Love the picture - it's really amusing for some reason! Sorry for the attack of the exclamation marks - I JUST LOVE YOU GUYS THAT MUCH!
227. Gia on Guam said:
A sama lama lama lama doo ma see ma nama lama doo ma lama nama see ma
Na ma lama doo ma lama see ma lama see ma doo ma humma, yeah yeah
That's it. That's it.
228. George Lover said:
Jen, you should check out the achives, specifically the category titled "Dooced". It tells the whole, dreadful story of Heather, aka Dooce and how she lost her job. Heather is the ONE TRUE DOOCE, the originator of the word and its meaning.
229. Library Girl said:
Laura,
I looove the speech! Too funny. And if you guys start breaking out the New Kid's songs I'm going to get really freaked out.
230. Kristine said:
dooce...that was SO late 80's.
hee hee.
I'm not even going to go back further than the wikki-wikki song, because that would truly show my age.
Put it this way...Al Green is the best singer EVER. don't even try to argue this.
231. George Lover said:
I didn't mean "...whole, dreadful story of Heather..." the dreadful part of course is the losing your job part. But even that has worked out.
232. Freakin Library Girl Out said:
Your first kiss was a sweet kiss,
Your 2nd kiss was Bliss!
Your 3rd kiss and your 4th kiss,
I don't wanna miss!
That came out of *my mind*...
233. Colleen from NJ said:
Hotel
Motel
Holiday Inn (say WHAT?)
Really showing my age.
234. Gia said:
This is my favorite photo so far Heather! First the smile shot and now dancing! 2005 is already a good year for Dooce.
:)
235. Library Girl said:
Oh dear god I think I peed myself. Thanks Amanda, *sigh* that brought back some good times. Pardon me while I weep a little and flash back to school bus rides w/ my now gay ex-boyfriend.
236. Gooooder said:
I think it is great that so many people are trying to help out, including Dooce!
Woot.
237. Amanda B. said:
Oh crap. I'm sorry Library Girl- didn't mean to bring that up. I remember the dance to that song too if it makes you feel any better.
Anytime there's a pic of Dooce my husband and I have the following converstaion:
Me: Honey, look at Dooce...isn't she pretty.
Husbando: Yes. She's pretty. Why? Do you want to have lesbian love with her?
Me: NO. I just think she's lovely...
Husbando: What about just make out with her?
Me: No, damn it- get your mind out of the...
Husbando: I think this Dooce site makes you grouchy.
Me: Damn it.
Pause...
Husbando: If you ever go to prison, do you think you might engage in lesbian love?
238. Gia on Guam said:
Step one, we can have lots of fun
Step two, there's so much we can do
Step Three, it's just you and me
Step four ...
Good thing I forgot what step four is...
239. julie said:
You look a lot like Gillian Anderson (Scully from Xfiles) in that picture. And the lamp is cool.
240. Autumn said:
Nice.
I hate to be blunt and mean as so I've never been blunt or mean on Heather's site before..
but those who scream out "first" or who are like "omg, i'm First!" ... please die.
I can't express how OLD it is to RACE to be first. And how I have to shift through the first 10 comments of the "first" claiming that they are the first to actually enjoy the rest of the people who comment upon this website.
Anyway, that's my peice. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the same way.
241. Library Girl said:
Hey no prob. Amanda, thems were good times :)
242. BytchInNY said:
just wanted to say I really like your new masthead a lot :)
243. Closet Metro said:
Hooray for Pixie Trixie for making it Purple in here. (Hey, I'm from Minneapolis, I love the little Purple Freak)
Once again back is the incredible
Rhyme Animal
The incredible D(ooce)
Public Enemy Number One
Five-Oh said "Freeze"
And I got numb
244. John Sloas said:
Heather, way to go on Blogaid.
Good to see you dancing...it is good therapy.
245. Dawn said:
At the risk of sounding like the biggest party poop ever, I have to say that I find it fascinating that not one of the 242 comments even vaguely touch on your generous gesture and the profundity of today's posting. (Apologies in advance if I did overlook any). That's a super cool thing you have done! Great pic and masthead too!
246. Kimi said:
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE.... oh wait, nevermind.
247. Closet Metro said:
Dawn - LeChico did, JulieT did, Geena did (yeah, I waste my whole day here)
248. heidi said:
Gia on Guam: I think the rest of the song goes...
Step four, I can give you more
Step five, don't you know that the time is right
Scary how I was able to dig that stuff out of my mind...
249. Erika said:
Dooce, there's a mention of bloggers who are "dooced," but no mention of you in the London Telegraph today-- here's the link, although a subscription may be required. I was surprised that you weren't mentioned!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4115073.stm
250. Erika said:
Duh. Sorry. It's bbcnews.com, no subsrcription required.
251. GEORGE! said:
Everyone should go vote for Heather for best big name blog, like... NOW!
http://www.blogmechanics.com/bob/vote.php?pollID=1
She deserves it, she's better than Zach Braf and that dork from Star Wars.
252. Aliesha said:
Haha! Awesome Pic!
Oh! I voted too, thanks GEORGE!
253. honestpaula said:
Hey Dawn, I mentioned Heather's donation. Don't know what number my post was. I can't see the numbers. I feel ever so slightly deprived.
That was cool of her. I gave through the Red Cross, but Sandra Bullock is making me look really cheap.
254. MC Patty said:
Colleen from NJ -
Hey I'm that old too!
ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
and movin your body while you're sittin in your seat
and then DAMN ya start doin the freak
i said DAMN, right outta your seat
then ya throw your hands high in the air
ya rockin to the rhythm, shake your derriere
ya rockin to the beat without a care
Sadly, I had too look these lyrics up, because my memories has a lot of mumbled nonsense words under my breath.
I originally wanted to post the mac and cheese portion (heh) but this part seemed much more apropos to Dooce's dancing!
255. MC Patty said:
OMG, my 13 year old has fallen on the floor from laughing hysterically after reading over my shoulder...
edited to read-
Sadly, I had to look these lyrics up, because my memory has a lot of mumbled nonsense words under my breath.
256. Laura said:
Hot damn...George has his own website. Not only can I die now for being first (lol Im going to milk this FOREVER....oh and I didnt even try muahaha) but I can read all about what George! is up to. SWEET!
257. hp said:
where is george's website?
258. hp said:
where is george's website?
259. hp said:
oops.
260. Amanda B. said:
Um. Holy Shit Dooce. You're in the same category with Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman. Wow.
Oh, and by the way you were spotted on a bus in Bolton being dooced. They didn't mention the hamster though which is weird. ;)
261. Holy Schmidt said:
Super-fly George is at georgeboone.blogspot.com
He's such a pimp!
262. Girl.A said:
George Bone
He will dry hump you for a free iPod. He says so hisself!
http://georgeboone.blogspot.com/
263. hp said:
thanks, girls. he seems like a sweetie.
264. villas said:
I love YOU
265. Tamanna said:
Love your site :)
266. romy said:
excellent!
and i love the new site design. congrats. :)
267. sarae said:
Someone mentioned awhile back that Dooce reminded them of Kate Winslet (I agree.) Just saw Winslet on Leno, describing how hilarious she found it when her daughter was jumping and farting at the same time. The resemblance is even stronger.
268. Cristin said:
Hey Fish.....
but you say he's just a friend
but you say he's just a friend
OH BABY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
:P
269. Fish said:
Dammit. Now I'll never get to sleep.
270. Girl.A said:
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOT whut I neeed.
Smokin Brontosaurus Dildo
271. Fish said:
I knew you were lurking. You guys always come out of the hardwood-work around this time.
272. Amanda B. said:
Metro. Still holding his board...
273. Girl.A said:
*Hard wood* ?
274. Fish said:
Like an oak.
Strong like bull.
275. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Given an entire day to mull it over, I still think the round lamps in today's pic look like Darth Vader's balls.
276. Girl.A said:
Princess Leia: Into the garbage chute, flyboy.
277. Fish said:
What kind of porn do YOU watch?
278. Girl.A said:
Who, me?
279. just another hypocrite. said:
hey um, heather,
why is that many of Americans give significant amounts of money when something disasterous happens rather than give to the red cross ..or give to homeless shelters...or something for our ecology at any other time? and if we [ yourself for example] do give to these kinds of charities it's usually a "trendy" yet much smaller amount? i guess we're just liberal hypocrites with the best of them [repubs or ilk] huh
280. La Pixiatrix said:
That is human nature, in part and not attributable to Dooce or to Americans as a group.
Why the blaming controlling black and white argument? You realize you can't win anyone over that way - only people who already agree with you?
Reality is grey, dude.
Public shaming is not an effective form of transformational education.
281. Amanda B. said:
People give money to the red cross all the time. Every day. If they didn't there would be no funds when a disaster happened. Or when a homeless person needed a bed. Or when a kid needed food. The money that is needed IS there Because people give.
If one of my clients gets to take their meds for another day so they don't have a heart attack, then I don't give a shit how trendy the person donating the money was. Just give.
I'm shutting up and going to bed now. And La Pix mah love! You rock!
282. GEORGE! said:
NEW MASTHEAD I'M THE FIRST TO COMMENT ON IT
283. GEORGE! said:
OH WAIT I'M NOT! who cares..
284. Anne said:
Hi Heather
I think it's great what you're doing for Asia. A friend of my lost all his family (a big family, 6 brothers, 5 sisters etc, that's normal there)
anyway, I live in the netherlands, and here also are allot of acts to get money. Last weekend it was newyears eve, the pub were I work saved all the tips for Asia, and if you wanted to hear a song you had to make a donation of 1 dollar. In the end of the weekend we made more than 550 dollar!
those people really needs us
keep up the good work
285. Kristine said:
They have a catagory for best daddy blog and Fish, Metro and Blurb are not even on the list!
Can we really take this 'blog award' thing seriously now?
286. Saladwhore said:
You look like that British girl in Bend it Like Beckham.
287. Melanie S said:
Come on GEORGE! keep up.
Fish,
About the reference to hardwoods. Have you ever heard the one:
"Does she prefer carpet or hardwoods?"
I made that up. I'm a loser.
288. FellaFromTheNorth said:
LAST!?!?!?!
289. RazDreams said:
Nope.
290. Fish said:
Where's Bob? I miss Bob.
291. RazDreams said:
he'll be back.
292. jules said:
lol melanie.. that sucks! :) rock on!
293. FellaFromTheNorth said:
Damn it! LAST now?
294. Danielle said:
thanks to y'all, I awoke with various strains of 80's dance music running through my head. (I put a blurp on my blog about it)
Bob will be here any time now.
;)
295. Fish said:
Bob? Bob! Wake up! BOB!
296. El Greco said:
I think I'm last.