A Very Merry Christmas
Chuck totally wanted me to dress him up in a jaunty bow and ribbon. I didn't even have to bribe him with cheese and bacon-flavored biscuits to get him to sit still for these portraits, not at all.
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Jon and I will be spending the next several days in various corners of the Salt Lake City area, giving homemade gifts to The Family Units, listening to 4-yr old boys whine so loudly that they sound like an adult immitating a 4-yr old boy whining, picking out the walnuts in the holiday fudge and slipping them to Chuck under the table (Jon is so going to kill me for this), singing and screaming and trying not to fall asleep during the reading of the nativity story as written in several parts of the New Testament.
Have a wonderful holiday, forgive your family, and drink whiskey. See you next year.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. meredith said:
yay! thanks for the connor. and happy holidays. i just dropped my roommate off at the airport, destination: utah.
2. Tammy said:
Happy Holidays everyone.I ususally lurk but I wanted to leave a message today :).Be safe and be happy and be a little naughty if you have to. You only live once.
3. The Ghost of Jimmy Stewart said:
Snow, snow please fall,
On the heads and hoods of our friends one and all,
Who bring us good gear,
And a six pack of beer,
And gift certificates from the mall.
Over highways they ride,
Or in jets four seats wide,
They travel across our crass land.
Though they've searched high and low,
They're trading love for some dough,
And wonder how giving got out of hand.
Take a deep breath, oh you harried souls
Consider while pondering the hearth's coals,
Just what we're supposed to be sharing,
The snow on the walk,
Memories and small talk,
And friendship where cash has no bearing.
4. Keith said:
I'm a Jew... a lonely Jew... at Chriiiiiiistmaaaaas... Happy holidays & a safe non-stressful journey to everyone at the Blurbodoocery. I'll raise my glass of heavily spiked eggnog to y'all while I'm sitting in a Chinese restaurant having Christmas Day dinner.
5. Mrs. Kennedy said:
Who does Chuck think he is, Barbara Walters?
6. The Mighty Jimbo said:
Your dog hates you for the ribbon, but bacon goes a long way toward canine forgiveness.
I have to forgive my family. We are Italian and do plenty to one another that requires forgiveness.
But whiskey? Ugh. It makes you spontaneously grow back hair. I'll stick to tequilla personally.
Merry Christmas Dooce. And thanks for making my holidays significantly more entertaining.
PS: Resolution proposal for you: Write a book.
7. A Medium said:
Who knew I was channeling Dooce last night when, after 5 gin & tonics, I excused myself for a moment to turn on the Christmas tree lights so as to make the room (as I chose to put it) "Motherfucking festive."
Happy Holidays.
8. slackjaw said:
Happy Holidays Dooce! Thank you so much for the gifts. There is no better present that I have recieved this year than reading your very silly blog. The ability to make me (and everyone) laugh is pretty special and unique.Wish I could repay you in the same!
9. aaron said:
Merry Christmas Dooce!
10. Cindi said:
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight...
11. Jason Kill said:
Chuck + Nikon + Anne Geddes = Reason for the Season.
12. Angelique said:
Many happy moments, many happy returns. You three are very fortunate to have the love, sarchasm and wit to make the holidays a bit brighter. Have a safe holiday and new year.
13. se said:
Chuck is such a handsome boy in his finery. He's so grown up. Thanks for sharing your fun things, your serious things, your photos, your music, your humor, and your wit. Best wishes to you, the husband, and Chuckles.
14. Xanthan said:
Merry Christmas to all three inhabitants of the Blurbodoocery. I leave you with my favorite alternative Christmas carol, courtesy of that sage of old comics Pogo.
Deck us all with Boston Charlie.Walla Walla Wash. and KalamazooNora's freezing on the trolleySwaller dollar cauliflour alley garoo. Don't we know archaic barrel,Lullaby Lilla Boy, Lousiville Lou.
Trolley Molly don't love Harold, Boola boola Pensacola hullabaloo.
15. Kevin said:
Decibels... I was watching the syndicated version of Who Wants to be a Millionnaire the other night and learned that 30 decibels is one hundred times more than 10 decibels. I think. Merry Christmas, Dooce.
16. Zosia said:
Merry holiday and all that. I am currently forcing my dogs to view Chuck's pictures in the small hope they, too, will let me decorate them with various festive cheer.
17. occasional kate said:
spreading the joy once more ... thank you and happy holidays!
18. Michele said:
~~~Happy Holidays~~~
to my favorite family :)
19. Mark Crane said:
Went caroling tonight on a hayride/trailer. Everyone ran out of songs after 20 minutes. It was cold. Merry Christmas, Dooce Groupies.
20. spike said:
have a merry christmas and a happy new year!
-spike
21. jen said:
Bob, Doug, and I wish you lots of things this christmas, but hopefully a beer... in a tree.
22. Totah DinÈ said:
ewww.. doggie walnut farts
23. devilishkittykaat said:
just wanted to de-lurk to thank you for your amazing writing. thanks for making me laugh!
merry christmas and happy holidays!
24. Desiree said:
What? No reindeer antlers or santa's hat for Chuck? *blocking my dog Luna's view of the monitor so she cannot see Chuck* (I told her that no dog could escape x-mas as easily as just a bow and ribbon)
Happy x-mas and all the best for 2003 in your new home; LA will miss you; hope santa's good to you even though you may have toed the line between naughty and nice.
25. Edsmonkey said:
Chuck looks mutherfucking festive!
26. Snyder said:
I just happend apon your site today and while reading through some past posts ive become a fan.
Oh, and your dog looks great.
27. Jen said:
Merry Christmas Dooce and DJ Blurb.
28. Wojo said:
I am just a frequent lurker but I just wanted to thank you for allowing all of us (lurkers and non-lurkers alike) to read your rantings and stories. I can't stop myself from checking back often to see what is going on in your world.
All the best to you, Chuck and the Bearded One.
29. Lin said:
Merry Whatever You Celebrate. We're going to get 5-7 inches of snow here in the mountains. YAY.
30. rickster said:
Dooce.....have a great X-mas. I feel like i get a present from you every day when I open your website. The Blogs from the "Wax" Section almost killed me with Laughter the other day!!! I'm off to be MotherF@#$%ng Festive!!!
P.S. - Kevin you're right about the Decibels. 30 is 100 times louder than 10.
31. Katherine said:
Merry Christmas and thanks for those cute Chuck pictures.
32. the propagandist said:
i hate to be repetitive, but:
this is why dogs bite people. they hate soft focus.
33. Fantasy Island Girl said:
Have a Merry Christmas!
34. Brooke said:
Chuck sure is looking festive. Glad to see there are not ornaments hanging from his ears, though, because that would have required cheese and bacon-flavored biscuits, and lots of them.
Merry Christmas!
35. Registered Trademark said:
Merry Motherfucking Doocemas to the Dooce, Blurbomat and Chuck household extravaganza.
36. daisy said:
Happy Holidays.
37. kath said:
Ha. Don't give me that "no biscuits" bit -- I can see them reflected in his eyes.
38. kane said:
I was so very happy when you returned to write in your journal this year. Thank you for sharing your unique perspective and sense of humor throughout the year. Have a wonderful Christmas.
39. shy said:
merry christmas, dooce. as i sit here in thunder bay at my fiance's parents' place, the cat and dog are fighting over the catnip. no bloody snow though... i travelled all the way up to the great white north and there's no snow. meanwhile, toronto is covered by a white blanket. how fair is that? chuck looks rox0r! what a pornstar!!!
40. P.T. Bosum said:
merry xmas dooce and jon, happy holidays in mormon country . . .
41. the media said:
happy birthday to big baby jesus. so many ass pumping comments. must be the holidays.
42. lauren said:
merry christmas, dooce :).
chuck looks adorable.
43. rebecca said:
chuck is so pretty... i'm jealous.
44. Xanthan said:
That soft golden light... ah, what a portrait. Annie Liebowitz has nothing on you, Dooce.
Merry Christmas to all in the Blurbodoocery: Dooce, John & the forger Congressman.
45. CHUCK PEED ON MY GIRLFRIEND said:
Do I really talk that much?
Come home, we all miss you guys. Merry Christmas and if we don't speak to you, have a Happy New Year.
46. Dirty said:
why the f*bombs? Why!?
47. Michael said:
Anyone else think that Dooce and Blurb are giving Chuck the Jon-Benet Ramsey treatment? How long until he has the little cowboy hat and vest?
48. alli said:
The dog is adorable. Yes, that is what I think.
49. Heather #2 said:
I hope your fucking New Year fucking rocks like fuck! Have the best fucking New Year and fucking thanks for fucking fucking making my '02 the rockin'est blog year fucking ever! You're the fucking best!!! Fuck!
50. PJ said:
If you bribed Chuck with Chew-Rific brand cheese and bacon flavored chews, I can see why he did it. Those things smell humanly good enough to eat. I drank lots of merlot instead of whisky, unless Bailey's counts. Happy New Year to you and Jon!
51. Naaman said:
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!
52. shotwise said:
How do you get that charming glowing effect with the pics? I'd love to fuzz up some photos for my site.
53. Miss Mea-Mea said:
It's champagne all the way for me! Happy New Year!
54. April said:
Shotwise, I don't know exactly how Dooce does her images, but try duplicating the image layer, giving it a guassian blur, then setting that layer to soft light or screen. You should get about the same kind of look. BTW, happy holidays to Dooce and her readers. :-)
55. kane said:
The holidays and lack of posting have left me no other choice but to leave two comments on the same post; bringing great personal risk and humilation to myself of possibly being labeled "one of those people". Wishing You A Happy New Year! Thanks for sharing your bad self throughout the year.
56. le petit hiboux said:
merry fucking christmas, chuck-o-dooce-o-mat.
57. Mr Scates said:
Happy Holidays!
Love your dog. Very cartoony. Reminds me of the time I tried to dress up my pet wookie as a pilgrim on Thanksgiving just before he got blitzed on Glenlivet and Ivanhoe'd my ass with the turkey baster. Not good times. Bad times.
Hope Chuck treats you nicer. Keep feeding him walnuts. Glad to hear you are doing well!
58. Tina said:
Happy New Year, Dooce. Hope you have a great one! Can I have your dog? He's too cute.
59. Hope said:
Just found your site, can I get a two year subscription? And does the adorable pup come with that? Too cool !
60. Janice said:
Woofy Christmas and a Chucky New Year, Dooce! Looking forward to your first post for 2003. :)
61. mole said:
dude, nice pigs.