I have no advice on staying regular, but I MUST know what the prime pooping position is.

"How do you stay regular?"

FROZEN pop tarts, woman!

Well, I think it must be fate that I am the most constipated person next to dooce and I may (if I am quick enough) be the first to comment.

I never knew I was constipated until I was about 22; I just thought I was in a bad mood. Once the doctor said, yes dear, this is constipation, I was thrilled. Thrilled because I thought that I could just 'correct' it. Not so.

Anyway...I drink ALOT of water, I eat ALOT of raw veggies and I pray that the poop will pass.

Now, at 37 and 4 pregnancies later (during pregnancy...ON iron pills...I was perfectly regular, go figure) I finally started taking Zelnorm. Wow! What a difference. I thought that Zelnorm was for people with IBS (it is). I thought IBS was only for diarrhea (it isn't). It is making a difference in my life. WooHoo!

You people who are regular and think if we 'full of shit' people just do this or that and it would be all better should just stop. Our bodies do not work the same. Out of my 4 children, two are regular joes (like hubby) and two are like me. Babysitters still can't get over the fact that you don't have to wipe poop off of their butts, you just have to be careful the little poop marbles don't roll out of the diaper and onto the floor. Where the dog might mistake them for...well, nevermind.

Man! You guys are fast! ;)

I have the same problem and am constantly battling my bowels. I noticed that when I stay away from sugar and dairy (both of which I could live off of alone) it becomes easier to poop more often. I also drink apple cider vinegar before every meal I eat at home and I take digestive enzymes before every meal.
The biggest thing I think is my stress level. I'm a totally worrier and fixer. Do I actually fix people.. no, do I think I can? Yes. So I end up stressed out about stuff for days. Anyway when I hold onto stuff. So does my colon. I found some good stuff here:http://www.westonaprice.org/askdoctor/ask_constipation.html

I feel guilty because I poop at least twice every day.

I'm sorry, Heather.

Things to eat when you want to poop (at least they work for me): prunes (bleck!), edamame (yummy salty green goodness), coffee (starbucks does it everytime), refried beans from Topanga...but you probably don't have a Topanga...so come to Vancouver, I'll take you there.

Aloe tablets work for me. My Aunt turned me onto them and aloe tablets & I are in love.
You see, I am not a regular girl.

alas, i have no poop advice but i want to tell you how much i love your blog! and that husbands pooping with macworld is the funniest, most true thing i've read all day.

A latte and hard boiled egg gets things moving along pretty well in the ol' AM. REALLY well.

someone mentioned frozen poptarts, but when in truth the yummiest thing on earth is a toasted strawberry poptart with butter. ah, the butter. YUM.

I go whenever I feel the urge. Which usually is 0-3 times a day, and this sentence is more thought than I have put into how often I do it in years.

My wife is a whole 'nother story. Her and her mom love to talk about it, the issues with it, the colour and the shape, etc. Well, maybe not that bad but whether they did or didn't comes up a lot more that I would ever think it should.

So what do I do to stay regular? Not worry about it. When it happens, there must be something knocking on the door. When it doesn't happen, I have plenty of other things to think about...

Coffeee and dried plums. No, they are no longer called prunes. The new way they market them is dried plums. Then I don't feel embarrased to buy them. But they make them in orange essence flavor. Yummy.

Of course, if you have trouble, I doubt prunes, i mean dried plums, will help. But that's what helps me.

Also, my mom says after she eats that carb counter ice cream, she's in the bathroom within 2 minutes. No joke. She used to eat the dried plums...now she just takes a bite of that ice cream. :)

How to stay regular:

Stop fretting over the negative comments made by people so uptight they probably shit diamonds from all that built up self-righteous pressure!

Gosh! Freakin' idiots!

My grandmother always said (God rest her poop, she is taking a dirt nap now) "Beets flush out the bowels." Words to poop by.

Constipation and Hemorrhoids are apparently my friends. I know I can't seem to get rid of them anyway. I eat a wonderfully bland diet of porridge/gruel for breakfast, coffee and try to drink lots of water. I got told off after my second pregnancy because I was drinking SO MUCH water my poor stretched bladder just couldn't cope. And here I thought I was just plain incontinent. I probably need to eat more fibre. Dried apricots & sultanas will make you poop your brains out if you like them! So - I don't know. Laxatives?! I hope you find "the answer" and then please, tell me!
If I get one more comment from a doctor about my "lovely hemmoroid" I'm going to have to go on a killing spree.

Under 30 minutes? If I take more than 2, I get aggravated. I used to poop rocks when I was a teen, but 30 years later, I rarely get to feel as though my bum is giving birth. More often now, it's the Clench-Cheeked Sprint to the bathroom.

Hunt:
I enjoy sitting on the toilet reading books and magazines until my legs go numb.

The boy I'm seeing swears by a book called FIT FOR LIFE. According to this book, your waste removal schedule should go as follows:

1. Drink nothing but fruit juice before noon.

2. Noon - 8pm - eat. But don't combine proteins and carbs, as your body has a hard time breaking it down.

3. 8pm-8am - your body processes the food, you wake up and poo your brains out.

He poops regularly.

I poop regularly, having ingested half a pizza, a mocha frappucino, three bags of Lemonheads, a Nutrageous bar, and half a block of cheddar cheese.

I'd say pooping is a specific and personal experience.

coffee keeps me regular when copious amounts of water and stress are not available. Regular is not the word I would use to describe my pooping though.

the Prime Pooping Position sounds a whole lot like the Natural Pooping Position that one adopts pooping when backpacking or in italian trainstations. I find that it works great in those situations, but I've never tried to execute it on a toilet.

I poop every two days, unless I've bought Raisin Bran to eat for breakfast. Then, by 10 AM I'm in the bathroom and no one is going to see me for a while.

My husband, however, gets really cranky when he doesn't poop at least once or twice in a day. He has issues with his poop. He always has to poop before leaving the house. And he wipes his butt with wet paper towels. He defends this with, "Hey, at least you know I've got a clean butt." He's very weird about the poop.

Just thought I'd over-share there...

I gotta preface this by saying I swear I am not trying to sell, scam, or otherwise rope anyone into one of those pyramid-scheme things that alleges millions of dollars within months. But my boyfriend sells this herbal supplement called "Experience," made by a direct-sale company called Awareness. Before using this stuff I gotta say I was one stopped-up girl. After 90 days of taking a few of these capsules once a day, I am regular like clockwork. Oh, the joy! I'll warn you that for the first couple of weeks pooping is definitely an "experience." When the urge to evacuate hits, watch out! Six minutes, HA! Try six seconds. If I'd waited six minutes I'd have had a mess of fantastic proportions on my hands. I swore I was possessed by the worst kind of pooping evil, the way stuff shot out of me. Okay, that's probably too much information. But I feel much better these days!

eat spicy food! chipotle tacos work like a charm with all that fiber and hot sauce. chipoopspray is what we call it.

or try pasta arrabiatta/diavoloccino. that'll help the browns get to the superbowl alright.

We are obsessed with poop in this house. Size, shape, color, consistency - the family that poops together stays together! I've just read recently that the first thing you should drink in the morning is a cup of warm lemon water, as cold water stuns the gut and warm water encourages evacuation.

'Evacuation'. Nearly as good as my mom's favorite:

"I was just in having my morning constitution..."

I had a fish burrito the other night immediately followed by a DQ brownie earthquake (DQ being across the street from the Mexican place). Let's just say I RAN LIKE HELL to the bathroom.

Dooce, please don't hate me because I pooped. I just have the opposite pooping problem.

I really have no advice to offer as I suffer from the same problem. Although I've been taking good vitamins that seem to help sometimes. I think my problem is psychological. I just don't like to go. I know, I have issues...

I HAD to comment to this though: "I have never in my life known a male who can poop in under 30 minutes, who doesn’t have to take in an entire year’s worth of MacWorld to see him from start to finish." Oh my God, that is SO my husband. And the year's worth of MacWorlds next to the toilet prove it.

I've heard that Uncle Sam cereal is the best! Or any type of Kashi cereals.

For breakfast I have oatmeal with wheat germ and flaxseed meal... I'm pooping by noon.

Good luck!

Regarding my previous comment:

By "better" I meant, faster.

You now what is the WORST? The worst is when your dog or cat eats a piece of string and it comes out with poop strung on it like Christmas lights and they can't quite push all of it out so you have to get a paper towel and grab the end of the string and let them run like hell.
That, my friends, is the WORST; especially when your baby wants to play with the paper towel afterward.
Just kidding! ~slaps hand~ Apologies!

I just went to visit my boyfriend for a week and couldn't poop once the entire time. oh the pain! but then i had an experience like your cousin... the second i got back home, the big motherfuckin' poop came, and i nearly keeled over and passed out on the public toilet seat.

when the constipation is less severe, i've found that super hot water with lots of lemon juice works, it ties up your stomach in knots and CAN work. there has been an instance when this did not work, and then i happened upon something else totally NOT practical and unconventional.

when you get a coconut from the market and peel the white flesh from the shell, there is that thin layer of brown rind on the coconut. if you eat some coconut with this brown rind (which is LOADED with fiber), you will poop the biggest poop, although perhaps not in 2 minutes...

godspeed

OMG, I am at work and all this reading about poop is making me have to go, which is the worse place to have to do the deed. I will hold it until I get home, which by that time the feeling will have faded and I will be left feeling bloated! CHEEKS STAY TOGETHER!

Wow, I am right on time with the pooping. Other than an occasional occurance of constipation (usually from dehydration), when I have to go, I usually go in two minutes and not more than six. The boyfriend swears I'm abnormal, but now I know he's the one who has problems as he spends a minimum of 35 minutes "logging off" or "downloading" as we call it here. (Yes, we may even surpass you and Jon is sheer geekiness.)

Coelecanth:

Good to hear things are better for you. A girlfriend of mine came down with colitus in her late teens. She now has Coloscopy bag. :[ Very sad.

I have no advice for you, as I typically poop 3-4 times a day. I get worried if I have only gone twice! But yeah, typically takes an long to poop as it does to pee.

Metamucil, baby. Metamucil.

At least it saved me during my pregnancy.

Some months if I work at it, I can poop every day of the week. Most of the time, I poop about 3 times a week. When I want to stay regular, I eat Oatmeal or RaisinBran for breakfast, have a banana or two, an apple, jamba juice for lunch, coffee somewhere in there, and a regular exercise plan of at least 20 minutes a day for a whole week.

It's so much work though, sometimes I'd rather just crap once a week.

Munchy seeds !

http://www.munchyseeds.co.uk/system/index.html

And lots of water & juice.That and lucky bowels,I'm guessing.

Excue me whilst I go al gushy for a second : I love your blog !

Dear dooce

I’ve been reading you for ages and whenever you talk about constipation, I just go, oh, ow, oh, no, ohmygod, ow. Ow. Because I so, so feel your constipated pain. And when I saw that you had opened poop comments I thought, oh!, oh! ohmygod! oh! Dooce is comfortable sharing her bottom system. Maybe if I share with dooce...

And,so, at great length, this is what has helped me to poop. Every day. Sometimes twice!!!

--Heaps of water, at least two litres a day. Less of a chore if it’s filtered water (those Brita charcoal filter things are good) and / or fruit / herb tea (smoosh up some ginger / lemon / lemongrass, stuff it in a jug and pour a litre of boiling water over it, or tea baggies from the healthfood store are nice too). But you already drink heaps of water!
--Metamucil before meals. Mmmm! Orange fibre pooping thing. Yum. Other fibre supplements, like psylium (sp?) husk in its natural(er) form absorb a lot of water in the bowel, which makes you… yeah. Constipated. Damn. Metamucil seems not to do this. Of course, Metamucil may not work for you, but I reckon fibre supplements are worth experimenting with, if you haven’t already.
--Foods that have a natural laxative effect. Probably different for everyone, so you know, if endame does it for you… eat them beans! For me, chickpeas are good. And loads of fresh green veggies like broccoli. And soft fruit – strawberries, bananas, peaches and stuff. From a tin is fine too. Also garlic and onions. And if all else fails dried fruit – apples, apricots, dates – works really well to um, move poop through my bottom system.
--Caffeine. Deserves an entry all of it’s own. Green tea, black tea, triple strength espresso, diet coke. Whatever. Gulp and let the poop be free. But be sure to combine with the whole loads of water thing, or it can make you a bit dehydrated and, yeah, again, ow, whoops, constipated.
--Eatin in general. When you eats, it starts off a process called peristalsis. As best as I can understand, it’s a series of poop promoting muscle contractions. Your stomach starts squishin’ the foods you’ve just et and your intestines start movin’ the older stuff along down the line. This is why (apparently) dogs need to go poop after they’ve eaten. Again, ymmv, but I’ve noticed I often need to poop after eating, and that eating regularly seems to coincide with pooping regularly. So there you go.
--And I’m sure by now someone will have told you that squatting is the best way to poop? But, um, you can’t squat on a western toilet? And the crazy squat block things to put at the side of that western toilet are just too freakin’ weird? An upside down bucket in front of the toilet, to put your feet on, will put you in a better pooping position. I mean, you don’t have to use a bucket specifically. Obviously. But just something to prop your feet up and help you lift your knees closer to your abdomen which, um, I believe the phrase is, ‘straightens out the anal kink’ and makes for easier pooping. The theory is, the poop isn’t obstructed by your body all bent up inside and so it just... slides out. I’ve found it’s heaps quicker and less painful in that position.
--Also: I’m all for reading. I reckon it stops you straining. So – and here’s an image – take something cool to read, pop your feet up on the bucket and try and relax. I know, I know, trying to relax when your bottom system is backed up is like saying ‘just relax while you write and sob in gut wrenching arse ripping AGONY’ but… try. For me, taking deep breaths from my abdomen works. That and reminding myself that it’s just going to be that much more painful if I don’t relax, so, y’know, I might as well.
--Finally, if you’re really, really, reeeeeally constipated… you might need to, how shall we say? lubricate the passage. So… protect your fingers with something latex and get going with the soothing haemorrhoid cream of your choice. Yes, you do have to stick your finger in.
--Really finally... there’s always an enema. Use sparingly. See above re lubrication.
--No, truly, this is the last thing. Don’t give up. Something, or combination of things, will work for you. And one day you will awake to a glorious new bottom system era of regular poop. Or, at least, poop that’s not agonising gut wrenching arse ripping poop.

My husband eats a bowl of Shredded Wheat with Slim-Fast poured over it instead of milk every morning. He says the reason Slim-Fast helps you lose weight is because it makes you shit so much. He is one champion shitter. Usually he shits twice a day.

i barely pooped once in the 5 years i was in a serious relationship. After the breakup, i pooped easily on a daily basis. go figure. not that i'm advising you to break up;-) Just an anecdote.

take this as a labor of love, since i have just actually documented my disdain for poop talk in my last post on my site. ;) i would rather everyone assume that i never poop at all.

BUT - consider drinking TONS of water and then mentally keep note of when you find it most, er, difficult to go. think of what you ate that day. maybe make a list somewhere. you should eventually be able to eliminate things that exacerbate the problem.

that's the best i can do. now i'm off to my corner to sheepishly pretend that i've never pooped in my life.

I am just coming to the conclusion that it may be time to see the doctor because I drink tons of water, exercise regularly, eat a high fiber diet with only healthy fats and almost no cheese. I love edamame - it's the best TV snack. But I still can't poop. At least not regularly. AND I get bloated. I was happy to read the comment here about Zelnorm, because I have heard from several other people that it changed their lives. I have tried to be all holistic about it - I just want to eat and poop without all the bloat and discomfort.
Thanks for this post! Although I have to say I have poop envy for all the easy poopers out there.

I'm a big fan of coffee and cigarettes for facilitating a 2-6 minute poop. No, it's not healthy, but it works for me and keeps me happy.

My husband also follows the coffee and cigarette routine, but still requires MacWorld or solitaire on his Palm Pilot to amuse him while he's in there for half an hour.

Everybody Poops, but everybody poops differently, I guess.

I think I saw someone else say this, but coffee. I was super, super constipated as a kid, and when I started drinking coffee, it helped loads, so now I need at least two huge cups in the morning or I don't go. Ever.

See, if I miss a designated poop (post-breakfast, pre-lunch), I tend not to go for at least THREE DAYS. At least. And then it's horribly awful, like that passing-out story you told.

So, coffee, and sure as hell not scheduling any meetings during optimum pooping time.

i, too, have problems with poopage. i've been eating a bowl of quaker corn bran squares every morning and i manage to go a teeny bit during coffee break at work.

How do I stay regular?
Ha. Ha ha. I can't remember the last time I was regular.
But then I went about a month without pooping, and trying to start again involved much pain and crying and scared me away from doing that again forever.
So now? If I go more than about 4 or 5 days, I pull out the Fibercon. My little miracle pill. And I spend all day near the toilet, anxiously awaiting the arrival of my poop time.

Oh. Umm, also? Pooping seems easier when my Aunt Flow comes by to visit. So, there's that, too.

Normally a pretty regular girl, I get severely constipated about twice a year. I bloat up and my stomach hurts SO BAD that the pain makes me throw up for about a day. Then the stomach pain goes away, but the bloat moves to my bowels and I can't poop for two or three days. The only time I ever pray is when I fly and during that rare period of constipation. Please, God, let me poop. Please let me poop. I've tried all the toilet positions, and what works best for me is sitting on the toilet like it's a La-Z-Boy.

Anyway, since it's so rare but so painful, each time it happens I try different things, and the "dried plums" seem to work pretty well, and the fiber supplements don't do shit. The praying just makes it worse because when God ignores my pleas, I feel like the pain is punishment from God for my unholy ways.

The best thing in the world (for me, at least) is a few shots of booze at night followed by coffee and a cigarette in the morning. It's worked the last two times and the constipation lasted 24 hours instead of three days. Of course, that isn't the best way to STAY regular, but it helps me every time now.

"Oh, hi, Mom--yeah, I feel much better--haven't thrown up for a few hours...no, I don't need any Pepto, but could you swing by with a bottle of vodka?"

I stumbled across your blog a few weeks ago and I think you are one fucking hilarious girl.

It is amazing how many readers you have. I think I only have one : )

Popcorn, coffee, grapes, or pizza work for me. Actually almost anything does. I'm as regular as a sunset.

Great blog!

Staying regular: I ride my bike to work.

This might work for a couple of reasons:

1. I drink lots of water from my camelbak while I am riding-- staying hydrated seems to help.
2. I ride six miles and have plenty of bumps to loosen things up.

Good luck. I find there have to be several things in place to keep me regular, and my comfort and anxiety levels are definitely key.

Magnesium oxide powder is good - its used for natural "bowel cleansing". It acts by drawing a lot of water into the bowel (out of your bloodstream). You can take a dose that will clean your bowel out entirely... or just smaller doses when things are looking like trouble (and it doesn't generally cause nasty bowel spasms!!) In Australia we give a daily glass of pure pear juice to bed ridden residents in nursing homes - it works a treat.

Oh, Dooce, how I understand... I had to stop going to my beloved summer camp when I was thirteen because in 6 weeks I pooped 6 times (and the last time was the night before I left). I came back with a hemmroid the size of my mess kit and haven't been the same since.

My pooping problems are less about real-life constipation and more absolute refusal to shit in any place I'm not comfortable with. I blame my parents for letting me have my own bathroom when I was little.

Anyway, I have seriously fucked up my arse because of my hang-ups and now have a emergency solution. Anytime I feel a little backed up and bloated, I take Konsil. It's like metamucil, only much better. My crazy proctologist recommended it. For, eh-hem, uncomfortable movements, soothe your bum with Balneol. It's a cream. Unfortunately in my CVS you have to ask for it behind the counter. Why do they do that?

My brother swears that checking his email makes him go. If only; then I'd be on the pot 6 times an hour.

Honestly, I'm almost jealous. I poop all the time. Really. Every time I go to the bathroom (upward of 10 times a day due to excessive drinking of water), I poop. Every single time! And occasionally, just to make it that much better, my diarehea gets constipated. I know, you're all thinking that that is a contradiction of terms, but you have never lived in my body. My god, the pain somedays. I actually poop so much, it occasionally bleeds. I envy you all.

Holy crap, Batman, who knew so many people were just bursting to talk about their poop?

I've done most of the suggestions here and my belief is that some people just have a messed up 'bottom system'. My husband says that I violate the laws of physics by being able to eat high fiber, healthy meals and drink tons of water and still go two freakin' weeks with no action.

Zelnorm did work the way nothing ever worked for me (Colace and Citrucel did nothing.) I actually was normal for a while on Zelnorm and it was lovely. Unfortunately, for me, it stopped working after a while and now I've stopped taking it. The doctor said she's heard that from other people and it might work again after a break. I hope.

Now I try to get by with Uncle Sam cereal and strong coffee right when I wake up. I am still not normal, though. Maybe I never will be.

And I am a pretty mellow human being, so the 'just relax' advice makes me think, dude, somethin' ain't right about my ass - my head is doing fine!

My mother swears by Trim-maxx tea -- not for weight loss, but for speedy evacuation of problem bowel. See URL.

I know you're got to throw pop tarts at me, but I've never been constipated but once and I was pregant. Coffee,greasy breakfast food..ie bacon, eggs, things with butter--makes things um...slide out easier. Lastly cheap beer does it to me everytime, as in cheap I mean, bud, coors, miller anyone of those and the next day the bathroom is my second home. Think of it, you can drink and take poops--come on two great things in life.

where i come from 'to drop a deuce' means to perform the #2 bodily function. If it's a big one we say, 'i dropped a double-deuce!' funny, that you're the dooce that cannot deuce!

i offer up the coffee enema.

it's uncomfortable but i'll be darned if it doesn't work.

and being a mormon i didn't drink coffee, but my doctor wanted me to drink a cup every morning to encourage things along, with the enema once a week.

when i protested drinking the coffee because of my religious proclivities, she sighed wrote me a prescription for the daily cup o' joe and said 'here sweetie, give this to your bishop.'

when things get stopped up too badly, this is the regimen i return to.

We call em' deuce too. We call mini deuces, deutens.

Ugh. I hate prune juice... and even those "orange essence dried plums" make me sick.

I am a spicy-food addict, but pooping jalapenos can be really painful.

I am not regular, but not as bad off as what you have described. However, from time to time I get those episodes where I actually think I am going to die because of the intense pain in my bowels. I have fainted and nearly-fainted while I try to poop to eliminate the pressure and burning sensation. But fortunately those are rare.

(Oh, and Leah - that is what happens to me: it is tough to get started, but then it is very wet when it starts coming out.)

My man is a 45-minute pooper. That 6 minute rule is hilarious!

Wow, so many comments in such little time: that in itself should validate that this blog is read and enjoyed by many. Especially terrific that we are all willing to talk about poop. :)

I too used to be a once every 5 day pooper. When I became a vegetarian I became a multi-a day pooper. Jealous? I think Edemame has alot to do with it! While I was pregnant I craved chicken and ate it and had a few times of delayed poop enough to scare me right back into my vegetarian diet!
Good luck with the pooping!

Trust me. 'Reconvene the procedure' butt at the other point of entry. It works.

This must be horrible for you all.

If you have not already considered food allergies I would try eliminating one food at a time and look for improvement - you will probably have luck with removing milk or wheat. Those are the most likely offenders.

There are also allergy elimination therapies out there that can help you to be able to eat those foods again without the resulting constipation. I have had incredible results for other problems. Check out www.naet.com

Good luck!!

I love the six minute rule!! I live with ALL MEN, well two big ones and 3 little ones, who all LIVE in the bathroom! I have to pound and beg for my turn in the loo.

I have absolutely no idea - I think a lot of it is down to luck and/or horoscopes.

All I do know is that whenever we run out of toilet paper I REALLY wanna go!

Poop seems like such a TMI topic, heh. Am I regular? ahahahaha. alas, no. No regular pooping for me. Pregnancy only makes it worse. Things I've tried with varying degree of success in the past..
several glasses of the purple grape juice (I love the stuff, but can't drink it unless I *want* to poop, because it seems to liquify the entire "bottom system" and not in a pleasant manner, but more in a searing acidic sludge manner)

wine- red wine in particular- seems to cause poopage the next day (something which I have refrained from trying while pregnant).

A couple mugs of hot cocoa almost always get things moving within a day or two. I've gone through a LOT of cocoa in the last several months.

Spicy, greasy food seems to help move things along, but the accompanying bloat and intestinal cramping and pain doesn't seem worth it.

As for only taking 2-6 minutes to poop. Obviously I am in the Constipated group, because usually I'm in there at least 15 minutes if it's a good day, and much much longer if it is not a good day.

Good luck with the pooping!

Molasses in warm water makes me poop. And the library. If I'm desperate, I go to the library for a while.

Amazing. Uncanny, even. 125+ comments about poop (or lack thereof).

You should open up the comments more often, Heather. I enjoyed reading the comments here almost as much as your posts (which I really enjoy reading). You should think about writing a book on the various methods posted here about getting the ol' plumbing to work.

Used to be, I'd poop every two or three days, and my husband would poop regularly after every meal. After a year on Atkins (actually, it happened well before we hit the one-year mark), we're both once-a-day type of folks.

I think someone commented earlier about laying off sugar, and everyone mentions drinking lots of water, and I think that could be what did it for us. It's amazing how many things in our diet have sugar in them, and we don't even realize it.

In the midst of the most hard-core part of the diet, we both got way constipated. But then we started taking flaxseed pills once a day, and it fixed us up right. Now we only have to take them if we're having... issues.

Those damn sugar-free chocolates with sugar alcohols will make you go like a mofo, too. It's like getting a trick with your treat. The Hershey's sugar-free miniatures are especially good for that.

But, yeah. I'm happy to have regular, healthy poops every day after I come home from work and my husband has just left for work himself. Or sometimes, right when I get up in the morning.

Dried apricots make me poop like a goose.

My poor daughter was so constipated as toddler that I had to give her a bottle of Citrucel and a tablespoon of mineral oil every day. She's doesn't require this anymore, but her poop still looks like pebbles. Poor kid.

I never, ever write about this on my blog, because I grew up in a house where poop wasn't discussed. Especially *MY* poop problems. Just. Not. Done.

I've had irritable bowel syndrome since I was a baby. Probably since I was a fetus, if there were a way to tell such a thing.

A couple of months ago, I went a little over 2 weeks without a poop. I gained 6 pounds. I fully expected to wake up one morning to find my colon stomping up and down my street, wearing a sandwich board reading "Hell no, I won't go!"

I went to the doctor.

She suggested Metamucil wafers.

And thanks to the magic wonder that is Metamucil wafers, my colon and I are now on speaking terms again. Granted, we will probably never be the best of friends, but I don't think there's any danger of another two week strike.

Don't let anyone tell you not daily is not normal. If you feel okay don't worry about it. Otherwise get psyllium from some place cheap like Trader Joe's and take it w/ lots of water everyday. The only thing the doctors say is to notice if you have sudden bizarre changes in your normal poopage. So pay attention! :)

Anxiety gets me constipated big time....stress upsets my stomach...I just can't win. I just have to bare with it until it passes. My husband on the other hand...king of poops...but he has crohns disease..he did have surgery so doesn't need meds (thank god)...but now poops at least 6 times a day...and always under 3 minutes. He wouldn't know a hard poop if it stared him in the eye!

By the way, I find gripe water helps me, at least gets rid of the gassyness. Not sure if you get it in Utah, but it's plentiful in Canada!

I am fairly regular, so I don't have any advice to give. But I just couldn't resist leaving a comment with the word POOP in it.

Dump (no pun intended) several packets of hot cocoa mix into a large cup of strong coffee.

My old roommate Jodi always said she had patented what she called "Lean Back Technology." Lots of people lean forward, some people even rest their head on their knees, when they're attempting to poop. But the primo pooping position is actually to sit on a toilet like it's a chair and lean back (yes, I know the back of a toilet usually isn't something you want to be leaning on, but trust me, your pooping will usually work better if you lean back).

OMG. This is MY KIND OF SITE. Poop on, friends! (Note the comma.)

As someone who gets diarrhea with enough frequency that I know how to spell "diarrhea", I've found it's in my best interest to STAY AWAY from anything that says "Chocolate Liquor" on the label. Soy Delicious Chocolate Obsession Soy Ice Cream will always prompts an episode of Bathroom Boogie for me.
(http://www.turtlemountain.com/products/purelydecadent.html)
I put in another vote for fresh pineapple... especially if it isn't very ripe.

Six minutes?? So I'm guessing three days is too long to wait then?

Here's my 'Constipation Chronicle' story. Several months ago I had a 30 minute totally embarrassing constipation episode at work where I thought I was gonna die...after I passed out.

So I asked one of my close co-worker buddies for ideas (she used to be an RN and was 6 mos pg at the time) and she recommended Flax Seed Oil gel pills. I take 2 in the am, 2 at night, and haven't had a problem since.

Life is so much better these days!

Having nothing to say about poop, let me offer some advice about how to deal with the flu, if you get it.

1) Go to your doctor and make him/her give you some Profen Forte DM. These 12 hour pills have a walloping 90mg of pseudophedrine in them. (Remember, they can make meth out of pseudophedrine pills. If you take them at night, you won't sleep. :-) Your doctor can also prescribe cough syrup with codeine, and nasal spray, both good things.

2) Buy the softest nasal tissues you can find. Buy some Kleenex stock while you're at it.

3) Coffee contains a natural decongestant. Per my brother. Is it true? Who cares. Drink lots.

4) If you can't hear because your head is so stopped up, remember, this has its uses. Especially if you're married.

The virus I got took a week for the major ickies to subside, and my head is still congested a 1/2 week later.

Best advice: Get a flu shot, if you can, *before* you get the flu!

Dried apricots. Or Frappuccinos.

To make sure I poop a few times a week I visit my local starbucks for a crappooccino, I mean a frappuccino and a banana bran muffin. The only downside is that I have to poop at work. I HATE pooping at work.

Two words for you VITAMIN C. My daughter has poop problems to such an extent that I thought someone had sealed her butt with cement and hung yellow "do not cross this line" tape as a warning to any excrement that might try to escape. Here is the link to the land of regularity. Don't take more than a teaspoon or you will be doing the clinched butt-cheek dance. It has no adverse side effects, and is not toxic if you over-do it. Put some in a glass of juice as your daily regimen, and as Scarlett O'Hara said "As God as my witness, you'll never be poopless again."

And may I take a moment to kvetch here. I know it's not my site so I have no right to be bossy but PEOPLE, if she WANTED your advice/comments about her posts she would open up the comments. SEE? LIKE THIS! Stop cluttering the daily photo comment section; you're harshing my mellow. Thank you, that is all.