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dooce® - dooce.com

Do I Look Like I Speak Spanish?

I know that what I'm about to say is going to cause all sorts of hissy fits, and people are going to get all fussy and up in my business, but what's the point of a personal website if I can't whine?

It's just, the only Spanish I know I learned from The Simpsons and Sesame Street, and so if you're looking at me like I'm crazy because I don't know what you mean when you say "ocho," the look I'm giving you is, "Repeat it all you want lady, but I've got to count to ten in Spanish silently on my fingers in order to figure out how many fingers equals your ocho."

By the time I get to eight you're so upset with me that now you're offering only "cinqo," which, luckily, I remember is only five, so I tell you, "No mi gusta." Trouble is, I knew a guy in college who spent two Mormon years in Brazil so don't think I don't know that you just told me to kiss your ass.

No, no besa su culo, or however you say it, you bitch.

I'm not having a garage sale so that I can just give away all this stuff. I know people are used to getting things for pennies at little sales like this, but I paid $279.99 for that chair a year ago, and you can't have it for cinqo. Or for "Ocho! Ocho! Ocho!" for that matter.

Maybe for "Ocho!" times cinqo, but I'm not budging.

So two hours later I sell it to another lady for tres, and after she's thrown it into the back of her van she has her kid ask me in English, "Hey, woman, what happened to the wheels that are supposed to be on the bottom of this chair?" And the lady is glaring at me like I just took her for a fool, that somehow, giving her a one-year old chair from the Pottery Barn for only three dollars I was violating the garage sale code of ethics.

And you know, any morsel of humanity left in my little Anglo-bones left me for that particluar instant and I shot that kid a bilingual bird, and said, * "J'ai pas moi!" "J'sais pas moi!"

*oops! I hate it when I'm a stupid American.

10.13.2002 Daily, Los Angeles comments closed
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  • 1. Keith said:

    If she wants something from you, she should ask you for it in a manner you understand. It's not your fault she can't speak English in a country where that's the predominant language. On a lighter note, that reminds me of the scene from "Shanghai Noon" where Jackie Chan's character keeps asking the Indians, "Where is Carson City?" One says to the other (in their language), "He's saying it slower now, like I'll suddenly understand." The other replies, "Give him the peace pipe, maybe that will shut him up."

    10.13.02 - 11:52 AM
  • 2. spike said:

    "J'ai pas moi" ???
    "you dont have me" ???

    huh?

    why were you getting rid of a one year old PB chair for 1 % of what you purchased it for?

    10.13.02 - 12:04 PM
  • 3. Alex said:

    I speak Spanish, and I think people are going to be asses no matter what language they speak. Good for you for sticking to your guns. Plus, she totally sounded like a pushy broad. I hate it when people are fucking rude for no real reason.
    Hey, it's a garage sale not a take-it-all-for-free sale, right?
    i Orale chica !

    10.13.02 - 12:06 PM
  • 4. David said:

    Hey, there's nothing wrong with Simpsons Spanish. It's like Cafe French but funnier.

    10.13.02 - 12:22 PM
  • 5. aprilgem said:

    Being a SoCal girl myself, I know what you mean. I sometimes forget what country I'm in because everyone around me is speaking Spanish and looking at me like I'm some idiot tourist.

    10.13.02 - 12:31 PM
  • 6. stupid bint said:

    there is no satisfaction quite like ripping someone off who doesnt know you just ripped them off.

    So that stupid bint probably though she had the bargain, til she thought it should have wheels.

    We have a saying here in Australia for when we have just ripped someone off in a sale situation.

    "big windows"

    Meaning the windows were so big, and the object so carefully displayed, that you must have been a complete loser to have paid that much for the item concerned.

    Not that this in any way relates to your post about Spanish and French.

    *ahem*

    10.13.02 - 12:40 PM
  • 7. Anon. said:

    Yeah, people like that are annoying, and chances are she really does speak english, and is pretending not to in order for you to think that she's ignorant. They're smarter than they look.

    On the other hand, it is hard being in a situation where you don't understand what's going on. Countless times I have probably insulted people or their culture because of my lack of language skills. So take pity, at least you were able to have a garage sale; where I live they're illegal.

    10.13.02 - 12:50 PM
  • 8. Mike said:

    One thing I hate about living in So Cal is that all the street names are in Spanish. Like I'm suppose to remember to convert all my "j" sounds to "h" sounds. By the way, I think they speak Portugese in Brazil.

    10.13.02 - 01:11 PM
  • 9. Me said:

    øDÛnde es Antonio Banderas? That's all the Spanish I knew when I went to Spain on vacation. Luckily, I had a Spanish-English dictionary and an open mind.

    Why were you getting rid of a year old Pottery Barn chair - did Chuckles pee on it?

    10.13.02 - 01:24 PM
  • 10. Sarah said:

    Were you mad at the woman for speaking Spanish or for trying to get a bargain at a garage sale? Because isn't that the idea behind garage sales - to barter? Anyway, your view of people who speak spanish is very xenophobic and typical of most redblooded americans - "This is america - and we speak english only." I feel sorry for you.

    P.S.
    As for Mike - the street names in So Cal are in Spanish because California and the rest of the southwest used to be part of Mexico and, thus, the long tradition of Spanish names for cities, states as well as places i.e. Los Angeles, Santa Barbara/ Cruz/Clara, San Francisco - Colorado, Arizona, NEW MEXICO, Texas

    10.13.02 - 01:35 PM
  • 11. Gringo con alma Latina said:

    The way I see it you can either complain about spics and gnash your teeth or embrace Latin culture and learn some Spanish--fairly easy to pick up with a bit of effort. Mastering a foreign language makes more sense to me than learning some dorky computer language that will be obsolete in 3 years.

    10.13.02 - 02:04 PM
  • 12. dooce said:

    and thus the fussing begins.

    10.13.02 - 02:13 PM
  • 13. the husband said:

    Look, you have 8 people coming at you, your husband just sold the microwave and this freak is demanding it for $10 (US) less than you've already sold it for and your husband is looking at you like "Get these insane people away."
    This isn't about culture as much as language. Screw anybody at this point who doesn't learn at least some of the predominant language of the country they live in, despite Christopher Columbus, The Sopranos, Manifest Destiny, Angry White Conservatives and/or anal liberals.
    If I'm moving to France, I god damned well will learn to speak French. I expect the same courtesy from others.
    If you wanna talk multi-culti: it begins with the perfect margarita; 2 limes, tequila blanco and a dribble of Cointreau, rocks, shaken.

    10.13.02 - 03:08 PM
  • 14. darsella said:

    i can empathize with the garage sale mayhem, and you did complement it with the universal f-you sign, but do you realize your comeback to the cheap spaniard was "i dont have me" .... in french?!

    10.13.02 - 03:49 PM
  • 15. Celia Cruz said:

    Wow, I wish you had your yard sale by me. A little finger is worth it!

    10.13.02 - 03:50 PM
  • 16. dooce said:

    i really hate to have to explain things after i've written them, so, just so you know, "J'ai pas moi" is slang for "I don't know." the moi is added in many slang phrases, in this instance it's like, "Me? I don't know." and the reason i was selling the chair? because the wheels broke. do you get it now?

    10.13.02 - 03:54 PM
  • 17. The Inmate said:

    1. Brazil is not a Spanish speaking country. It was colonized by the Portuguese.
    2. It's Cinco, as in "Cinco de Mayo" not Cinqo, as that Thong Song rapper might be inclined to spell it.
    3. "Besa su culo" is conceptually right. If you want to kiss HER ass, that is. If she's to be the kisser, substitute "su" with "mi".
    4. "mi" is not the same as "me".
    5. Look outside your borders once in a while. That goes for all Americans.

    10.13.02 - 04:01 PM
  • 18. dooce said:

    i know they speak Portuguese in Brazil, you fuck. and i know I spelled "cinqo" wrong. i was making fun of myself. that was the whole point of the post.

    10.13.02 - 04:02 PM
  • 19. The Inmate said:

    My thoughts ellicited a "you fuck"?
    Gosh, am I proud of myself now. I'm printing this page, sending it to friends and framing the last copy.
    Seriously now...do you really think you would have gotten a better deal from a nice "real" American?
    I don't get the point really. Are you bitching about foreigners in LA? Are you bitching about people that go to another country and don't learn the language (I'm with you on that one) or are you bitching because of your 1% ROI on the damned chair?
    So here's my peeve: I find it laughable that you call yourselves "Americans", given that the whole continent is called America. You should be called "Unitedstatesians". You say it's too long? Well, tell that to people who live in Trinidad & Tobago. What do you think they're called?

    10.13.02 - 04:10 PM
  • 20. Ex-liontamer said:

    First off, a big shout out to Inmate; keepin' it real from the feel. Mm-kay. Now, Dooce, baby, as far as I can tell "yardsale people" suck no matter where y'are or what language they speak. I went through a similar fate this Spring and lemme tell ya, trying to get fair market value on a slightly used collander is tough enough, let alone a PB chair. Cheapskates just suck. I'm just curious as to why you didn't e-bay that sucker. Or just have Goodwill take it away. But, hey, 3 bucks is 3 bucks.

    10.13.02 - 04:35 PM
  • 21. Sarah B. said:

    Shit, girlfriend, you should have emailed old SB first. I'd have taken it off your hands for at least viente-tres, plus postage.

    10.13.02 - 04:51 PM
  • 22. dan said:

    it seems as if some people will never understand your humor, heather.

    i say fuck 'em all and kick back with a jack and coke. minus the coke of course.

    10.13.02 - 05:14 PM
  • 23. mule-rider said:

    Oh, just get the fuck over yourself. You had a yard sale and people acted shitty. As far as my experience goes, there's nothing quite like a yard sale to make you feel angry and demeaned. Yard sale vultures suck no matter where you are.
    If you were going to be outraged that no one appreciated the retail value of your broken- ass Pottery Barn chair, then give it to the fucking Goodwill and take the tax break.
    Also- when you take cheap shots that are camouflaged racism and people call you on it- take the hit. Your defensiveness really stinks of unrepentant Mormon smugness.

    10.13.02 - 05:16 PM
  • 24. dooce said:

    dude, you ride mules. what the fuck do you know?

    10.13.02 - 05:23 PM
  • 25. aprilgem said:

    LOL, Dooce! Apparently, Mule-Rider knows how to ride on someone's ass.

    10.13.02 - 05:32 PM
  • 26. Agripina said:

    Jeez, the controversy you've inspired, Dooce, with a broken pottery barn chair and some grossly misspelled spanish words. Oh well. You knew you had it coming, right? And you've gotten some nice usage of the word "fuck" along the way.

    10.13.02 - 05:42 PM
  • 27. kath said:

    Good job stirring it up, Dooce! Amazing how incensed people get when you throw a little "multi-culture" into the mix. The way I look at it, if someone wants to be understood, they use words the listener will understand. If someone wants to be misunderstood, they do the opposite. Ever been a guest at a family dinner where the whole family was bilingual? Notice when they switch from the common language to the family one? (Hint: it's not when they want to include you in the conversation)

    10.13.02 - 05:44 PM
  • 28. Mike said:

    Look outside our borders? Weren't all the characters in this story American? What the fuck?

    10.13.02 - 05:59 PM
  • 29. Eric said:

    Very nice.

    10.13.02 - 06:13 PM
  • 30. The Inmate said:

    By "look outside your borders" I was referring to the attitude that most (please note I am generalizing here) Americans - ugh, that word again - have towards other countries/cultures/customs. A significant portion of the American populace is embarrasingly ignorant about what happens outside of their own country. Some say it has to do with the big-headedness of being the world's only superpower. I say it's the collective cultural effect of too many years of being told America is so great, and so many inmigrants apparently confirming the notion. I would disagree. "America" (once more, the country not the continent) is not bad, but it's certainly not all it's cracked up to be.

    10.13.02 - 06:37 PM
  • 31. Nick said:

    I've come to the conclusion that people are neither inherently good or inherently bad; they're inherently stupid.

    I like to go to garage sales to look at things. I rarely buy stuff, because frankly, I don't have any more use for someone's old things than that person did.

    Do you think that lady was trying to be uber-indie and score some retro-style home furnishings by shopping at a garage sale? Because we all know that buying old Pottery Barn chairs at yard sales is indie as fuck.

    Multiculturalism is part of this country; neither side is right. Racists are just as close minded as hardcore anti-everyone-who-doesn't-take-the-time-to-learn-about-someone-else-people are. This is America; you don't have to do shit if you don't want to. Dooce, I think you're right in being upset. Spanish, German, Irish, Asian, fuckin' whatever: if you're an asshole to me at my garage sale, then I will get downright vile.

    If everybody all got along, the world would be boring as hell.

    10.13.02 - 06:45 PM
  • 32. Rodney King said:

    Can't we all just get along?

    10.13.02 - 06:46 PM
  • 33. szg said:

    The husband should take a long look at himself in the mirror and practice his spanish.

    Any country founded by and continuously inhabited by immigrants is going to remain a country in flux. Changes in language and culture are inevitable, so either deal with it, or get left behind.

    10.13.02 - 07:16 PM
  • 34. smark said:

    i'm kinda missing pictures of your dog right now.... ms dooce - definitely give you credit for having balls enough to put yourself out there. that being said, if a garage sale drives you to a point of flipping off children (or anyone), is it worth the 3 bucks? to THE HUSBAND: dude - a lot of hostility towards those who do not speak the language. yes, english makes it easier on everyone but the cool thing about the u.s. is that you do not have to speak the language to succeed or contibute in this country - for examples, one need look no further than little tokyo or little saigon; or nashville. well, i'll get off the self-righteous soapbox now. alright, who stole my fuckin' ladder?

    10.13.02 - 07:35 PM
  • 35. Neil said:

    This is what happens when you a) be yourself on your own site (how unusual), and b) allow comments.

    10.13.02 - 07:41 PM
  • 36. delicateflower said:

    amazing how people think they can sum up your entire personality and worldview from one blog entry, no? just another one to chalk up to the internet's irony deficiency.

    10.13.02 - 07:42 PM
  • 37. the husband said:

    My thing isn't hostility. And it isn't about racism or closed borders, cultural imperialism, garage sales or pottery barn. It's about how there isn't enough hugs, teddy bears, puppies and ice cream. Like I hinted earlier, a good margarita solves just about any problem. There is, however, the few doltish pricks who think they "get it" and want to wax di-fucking-dactic in a comments section on somebody else's website.

    10.13.02 - 08:08 PM
  • 38. smark said:

    and does chuckles share your feelings? please tell me you did not sell the dog.

    10.13.02 - 08:12 PM
  • 39. Mike said:

    Ah, I see. Yeah, its always fun for me to fire glib generalizations at those with whom I disagree, too. I understand that. Anyway, as for US citizens being called 'Americans': This is one of those things where, once it occurs to someone (or they hear it somewhere), he will hold onto it until they nail shut his coffin. But, if your affliction is curable then reason's the tonic:
    1. First off, unlike any other country, the USA has 'America' in its name.
    2. Second off, there is no such continent as 'America'. If we were to call our citizens, 'North Americans' then you'd have an excellent case. But we don't.
    Ciao!

    10.13.02 - 08:13 PM
  • 40. so yeah said:

    First, I'm figuring that if you didn't want everyone in your business, you probably wouldn't have posted your opinions on a public webesite that any ol' self-rightous person could stumble upon, AND throw in their two cents. Secondly, I think your attitude towards the situation is justafiable, because those women sounded horrible, but your attitude towards people in SoCal who speak spanish is not. If you haven't noticed by now, there are a lot of people around you who speak spanish, and there are probably going to be a lot more before you die. Learn to count to ten. It's not that hard.

    And to the person who's getting a bee up their bum for calling this country America, you try going to a village of two hundred people in the middle of Africa and see how they look at you when you tell them you're from The United States.

    10.13.02 - 08:22 PM
  • 41. tulse said:

    dooce said:

    --quote
    so, just so you know, "J'ai pas moi" is slang for "I don't know." the moi is added in many slang phrases, in this instance it's like, "Me? I don't know."
    --unquote

    i don't want to sound anal, but it's "j'sais pas moi", or "sais pas moi". "j'ai" really does mean "i have", coming from the verb avoir (even in slang), while "je sais", means "i know", coming from the verb "savoir" (as in "savoir vivre").

    donc, ma petite douce, it would rather be "j'sais pas moi". and yeah, it does sound similar (though not quite the same).

    i'll get off my soapbox now.

    10.13.02 - 08:50 PM
  • 42. Kate said:

    Dooce, as someone who grew up in Spain (I'm American, though), I don't see why anyone should be offended by your post... the woman was being a bitch, and if she wants to buy something from you, it's her problem to communicate, not yours. If you were in a Spanish speaking country, with the situation reversed, the story'd be no different. If she wants it, it's her responsibility.

    About the "Anon" poster who says "They're smarter than they look." I find that comment absolutely repulsive. No wonder they wanted to remain anonymous, the prejudiced bastard. Do all foreign-speaking people LOOK stupid? Is that a compliment you're trying to give?? That's like saying "girls are smarter than they look" in a serious tone. Disgusting.

    10.13.02 - 08:52 PM
  • 43. Mike said:

    You're quite right. On the other hand, most foreign-speakers don't sound too bright, not to in any way cast aspersions on foreign-speakers.Reminds of one time when a buddy of mine was taking customer service calls at AirTouch (now Verizon). He sat behind me, and I sometimes heard him try to handle calls in the foreign languages with which he had some familiarity. One time he tried Spanish, and when he got off the call, he told us that the caller thought he was an imbecile. Jeb was actually the most competent member of our team, but that shows the power of one's language skills to dictate people's perceptions of you.On the other hand, Jeb was fluent in French, which he learned while spending two years on the Ivory Coast. He regaled us one time with a story about the time he visited France. Everyone he met was startled to hear the accent of his French coming from a white guy. Apparently, it was to native Frenchies what a Jamaican accent would sound like to us Americans.

    10.13.02 - 09:41 PM
  • 44. Igor said:

    Tulse is right, but he/she is giving you the patois version.
    In French you'd say : "Je ne (le) sais pas" : I don't know, where the 'le' would mean 'it'. A shorter form is "Je l'ignore" which is a false friend for the English word "ignore".
    If you don't like the attitude of the party opposite and you would be of a mind to tell them off in French, you could always say "Vas te faire foutre", which would not be all that polite and civil, but then again American movies are replete with such gems as "motherfucker" and "cocksucker" and that's not exactly the kind of vocabulary one would generally use on Sunday mornings over coffee and dumplings in grandma's house. At least, not where I live.
    And for the record, I think if the hispanics are so keen on living in the united states, let them learn english please. Or Lakota. What arrogance to arrive in a country and expect people just to adapt to you because you're too lazy to learn another language. If you're immigrating and you don't speak the language after a year, what's thate saying about your intentions ? I flee my country because I couldn't be bothered to make a workable society so I'll come into your country and would you please learn my language because I'm certainly not going to bother learning yours.
    Nice attitude. Very polite, very cosmopolitan. Before long they'll start their own liberation movement. People don't need an excuse to spread misery but it's always nice if you can find a way to justify it. Take the fight out of the barrio and into the main street.
    You want to live in the United States, learn English dammit !
    Mexicans, giet er godverdomme beton over !

    10.13.02 - 10:22 PM
  • 45. Brandon said:

    Is there something inherently wrong with calling ourselves "Americans"? Is it truly all that confusing? Do people from Panama or Colombia call themselves "Americans" and then get all huffy when people don't realize they're from a particular country?

    No. They're Columbian or Ecuadorian or Brazilian or whatever the hell, because that's the name of their country, and American is the name of ours, and as soon as Ecuador takes over their entire fucking continent then they can call it the United States of South America and put that on their passport. In the mean time, getting pissed about this and blaming it on "egotism" is along the same lines as railing at the US for not dividing up the atmosphere into tiny tiny pieces and distributing it out to the nations of the world.

    Furthermore, I plead guilty to vacationing in foreign countries with a crappy command of the local language... but I definitely didn't expect to accomplish much with it, and if anybody blew me off, I would certainly understand. Speaking to people in the language they can comprehend is a form of respect, and though it's usually not "required," trying to buy something while failing to do so promises nothing.

    10.13.02 - 10:56 PM
  • 46. Matej said:

    I know it's been said before, but not yet by me: Dooce, you rock!

    10.13.02 - 11:44 PM
  • 47. Billy said:

    Garage sale? You?

    10.14.02 - 03:23 AM
  • 48. Heather #2 said:

    And I was so missing Politically Incorrect.

    10.14.02 - 03:32 AM
  • 49. Heather #2 said:

    Husband, pass me that margarita, please.

    10.14.02 - 03:33 AM
  • 50. Jay said:

    Speaking of speaking the language... A co-worker at my last job was attending a conference in Miami. He saw someone get mugged and took out his cell phone call 9-1-1. The operator only spoke Spanish, and apparently no one else there spoke English, so they hung up on him. Nice, huh?

    10.14.02 - 04:17 AM
  • 51. RADAR O'REILLY said:

    DOOCE, ROCK ON.
    INMATE, YOU LIKE TO ARGUE TOO MUCH. DON'T YOU HAVE A YARD SALE TO GO TO?
    OTHER DISSENTERS, FUCK'N LIGHTEN UP!
    CHEAP-ASS YARD-SALE HAGGLERS, BE GRATEFUL, DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCK'N PRICEY POTTERY BARN IS?!?!

    10.14.02 - 04:20 AM
  • 52. Sarah B. said:

    I hate comments that have shit in them like 1), and 2), and "furthermore." A cheap ass bitch is a cheap ass bitch in any language.

    10.14.02 - 04:47 AM
  • 53. Heather #2 said:

    So, Radar, do you have any real opinions about the conversation?

    Dooce, you so shouldn't have changed your French phrase. Unless you really are a stupid Unitedstatesian, in which case, rock on, sister!

    10.14.02 - 04:53 AM
  • 54. Beerzie Boy said:

    I think that you ought to come live here, where you have to dicker with ouraggressive Ukrainian immigrants...we Americans are not used to bargaining. If they smell weakness, they go for the throat.

    10.14.02 - 05:06 AM
  • 55. Chad said:

    I had a garage sale this weekend. I am sad that it wasn't this much fun!

    10.14.02 - 05:30 AM
  • 56. ed f said:

    oh, oh, one more: Jena Malone. did you see her in "Life As A House"? too cute.

    10.14.02 - 06:25 AM
  • 57. smark said:

    it's a spirited debate, radar. if we all kissed her ass like yourself, it would get a bit crowded at her colon. "di-fucking-dactic" - that is classic. if i ever steal that, i promise to give credit.

    10.14.02 - 06:44 AM
  • 58. zach said:

    i think its hilarious that people are breaking this down with all their well thought out opinions

    10.14.02 - 06:50 AM
  • 59. Mat said:

    After perusing these comments, it appears many of your readers have yet to master their native language, let alone learn a couple of simple phrases in another. One doesn't even have to scratch the surface to find fault in such borish, self-actualized, and smug jerks; it's all right there on the surface. Trying to cover up this ignorace with sneering "irony" and arrogant and condescending sarcasm only makes people look dumber and less appealing.

    Ugly Americans indeed...

    10.14.02 - 07:04 AM
  • 60. Emily said:

    Jeepers Creepers - a $279 Pottery Barn Chair for $3! Try eBay next time!!!!!!

    10.14.02 - 07:12 AM
  • 61. eggbert said:

    yard sales didn't bother me until i moved into my new neighborhood, where people have yard sales on the small patches of grass in front of their 6 unit apartment buildings, attracting roving bands of families in rusted blue ford aerostars circa 1988 choking up the already narrow streets between melrose and beverly.

    look, i don't want any of your rack of flowery dresses or your swedish semi-disposable furniture or your old callanetics tapes, i'll give you the $50 that you might have made that day to take them to goodwill. until then, wait til you have a goddamn yard.

    estate sales are a different story.

    10.14.02 - 07:13 AM
  • 62. sourbob said:

    There are a lot of acutely humorless people who live to lecture bloggers on perceived insensitivity. Do what I do, Dooce: offer 'em up a nice warm plate of "I Don't Give A Fuck."

    10.14.02 - 07:14 AM
  • 63. Heather #2 said:

    "Ignorace", huh, Mat? I guess some of us DO need to master our own language.

    10.14.02 - 07:27 AM
  • 64. sourbob said:

    Also, does it occur to anyone else as stupid that Dooce got a lecture in cultural sensitivity for merely suggesting the barterer use english numbers at a US yard sale? I'm willing to bet she also would have gotten a lecture for using English numbers to barter at a vendor's booth in a Latin American country. So basically, cultural sensitivity = Shut up, Gringo.

    10.14.02 - 07:32 AM
  • 65. I'll Tell You Later ;-) said:

    Ok, I was born in South America, so I speak Spanish and I found your entry quite hilarious. I certainly don't understand why some people took it so wrong and got offended. I mean, you're not bitching about the speaking spanish world, are you?

    And it's: "No ME gusta" ;-)

    10.14.02 - 07:43 AM
  • 66. Kevin from Seattle said:

    Umm...Heather was being humorous. It's something she has a talent for. The political correctness-prone should probably know better than to look at dooce in the first place. Humor, as those persons who care about it understand, is no respecter of persons or propriety. The problem is that wit is always wasted on the witless. Those of us old enough to remember the shitstorm of controversy when Randy Newman released "Good Old Boys" back in the dawn of time can tell you many stories about dimbulbs bitching about a joke that went over their heads. And you know what they say to those who can't take a joke, K?

    10.14.02 - 10:09 AM
  • 67. DIRTY said:

    Anyone who thinks that the people of Trinidad and Tobago are all called something along the lines of "Trinidad and Tobagans" has no right telling Dooce she's a "Unitedstatesian." Try it at another cocktail party, you pompous jackass.

    10.15.02 - 04:11 AM
  • 68. Hugo said:

    "Being a SoCal girl myself, I know what you mean. I sometimes forget what country I'm in because everyone around me is speaking Spanish and looking at me like I'm some idiot tourist."

    Funny. I could have sworn California was a part of MEXICO way before it was a part of the US. Get over it.

    10.15.02 - 06:00 AM
  • 69. Xenophobic white Guy NOt from socal but living there said:

    I think Sarahs opinion of your sitution is a) Full of self loathing for all the terrible things that have happened to minority cultures or b) Full of self pity because everyone wants to strip her of the one thing that truly ties her with her roots. One or the other makes no difference. A person has the right to get pissed off for whatever reason they can dream of and if one can make light of the situation it means that they realize faults on both sides. Thats healthy xenophobic would have been to post a sign saying "YARD SALE WHITES ONLY".

    10.15.02 - 02:23 PM
  • 70. Xenophobic White Guy said:

    And NOOO I dont use spelling or grammar check and rarely proof-read, isn't it obvious?

    10.15.02 - 03:21 PM
  • 71. Alien Observer said:

    Now that was a good read!

    10.16.02 - 04:24 PM
  • 72. r3 said:

    If I were to move to Germany, I would make damn sure to learn German. I don't think anyone would excuse an attitude of "I'm not learning German--these people can just understand my English".

    Anyone moving to the U.S. who refuses to even try to learn English needs to LEAVE.

    10.25.02 - 02:36 PM
  • 73. josh said:

    Oh, i know this is so after the topic has died, but am I the only one who caught how hilarious mule-rider's comment was?!

    He rails on Dooce's "camouflaged racism" and then says, "Your defensiveness really stinks of unrepentant Mormon smugness."

    How awesome is that?!

    "Don't be a racist, you dirty jew!"

    Mule-Driver rocks!

    10.30.02 - 07:41 PM
  • 74. Zan said:

    I love watching these verbal "food fights."

    I've been all over the world, and pretty much the universal thought is, "take some time and learn some of the language if your're visiting, all of it if you're staying." So what's the deal with spanish in the US of A? The idea that we all need to be bilingual so that we can order our Big Macs (I hate that) at McDonalds.

    Even here in Minnesota, it's getting out of hand. You want to stay, learn the G-D language. I personally speak 3 languages (not at the same time, mind you) and it's worth the effort. But spot-on, Dooce, have 'em be fair. DOn't curse at me in your language, 'cuz we all tend to learn the dirty stuff first and we'll know what you are saying.

    As for the garage sale, well, I hate having them, love shopping them. I'm one of those suckers who believes that the sticker is more than a suggestion.

    Love the new look. I've not visited in a while.

    10.31.02 - 04:18 AM
  • 75. nana said:

    she do not have to said it like holl back!

    11.14.02 - 07:08 AM

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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.

  • Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
  • RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
  • Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.

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