Wow, I cannot imagine what you're going through. I truly hope everything turns out well for your family.

I'm so sorry for everything your family has gone through. Sending good thoughts your way and putting on my angry eyes for whoever has put you through this.

oh, heather. i'm so sorry.

Heather, I'm sorry for all you've been through. My parents were sued last year for leaving their former company and starting their own (gasp!), and I have seen the stress, fear, and sheer panic that it can cause. Please, try to relax and breathe deeply and move on now that it is over. I hope you are okay.

Heather,

I have no words. I am sorry that your family has lived this experience. I can only send you my prayers, and best wishes.

That pisses me off. Without knowing any of the circumstances of the case...but it's not fair. It's not fair that you should have been punished for blogging about your job (even if it did make you famous) and it's not fair that you'd be punished for writing about your feelings. (I'm only assuming the suit had something to do with your blog).

I'm so impressed and entertained by the level of personal detail you are willing to share with the Internet, and I hate the idea of your ever being bullied away from your blog again. I wish I could be as honest on my blog, and you're supposed to be the inspiration that allows me to open up more.

Damn them lawyers.

Please don't go away.

Losing your faith in the legal system is like finding out your father isn't Superman. It sucks, I've been there and I wish you all the best.

Heather - If it helps your lawyers to sleep at night, you did a great job of keeping this under wraps. I'm glad that you are on the other side of it, and I'm sure that things will start the ascent now. All of my best to you and your family.

After reading what you put here it sounds as if you were very circumspect.

I am just blown away by this, I knew you could get sued for signing a contract and then not following through but to NOT sign a contract. It makes me want to swear big sweary words. It does sound like they were punishing you because they could.

You have put up a brave front and I admire you for it. I am sorry for all that you and your family has had to go through to payoff someone's whim. I am sure that all of your readers (ok, most) are sending you good thoughts and wishes. I, myself, am hoping that instant karma comes to call on Unnamed Litigious Jerks as well as sending you good thoughts. Chin up! Hopefully we can help prop you up for all the humor and good times you have given us.

Someone please get this woman some chocolate cake, stat!

This country has seriously developed such a knee-jerk response of "I'll sue you!" that it's frightening. So sorry to hear that you got stuck on the tail end of someone's overweening sense of entitlement.

(PS, don't you just *love* that word? Overweening? It's one of my favourites. It's so....I don't know. Just say it to yourself. Overweeeeeeening. So perfect.)

This makes me both insanely curious and saddened for you at the same time. But I'm willing to bet that if you had mentioned it in July? You'd have hundreds of readers jumping to your defense. And I bet many of them would have been attorneys.

My mother went through something similar many years ago. Legalities of so many situations, do indeed, SUCK. Big sigh and virtual hug for you. Perhaps another "OMG our plumbing's fucked cookie" would soothe the soul a bit. Hang in there!

As an attorney, trying desperately to leave the profession, I am so sorry what they are putting you through. It is that very reason I am changing professions because I am sick of seeing innocent people being bullied by the system without any type of safety net (I'm also way too sensitive for this profession).

Obviously, I do not know your specific circumstance but hopefully, good will come out of this and you will settle back into some sense of normalcy. Take care of yourself, take a ride up one of the Cottonwood Canyons (so beautiful), go to Ruth's Diner or the Blue Plate for a leisurely breakfast (yum), bring your dog to the dog park near Liberty Park (if they still have it - haven't lived in SLC in four years) - watching my dog run around and play was great therapy, and hug your daughter.

Oh, Heather, I'm so sorry that you guys have had to go through this. I'm glad you can finally write about your feelings, as that is one of the most cathartic things you can do, especially being a writer.

Please know, that there are lots of people out here (like me) who look forward to reading the things you have to say every day. You are a part of my day each day, and I am grateful to you for how you brighten it just by being you on your blog.

What an awful thing! I second the notion that your story makes me desire nothing more than to jump up and down, pull at my hair and spew obscenities but, alas, I am at the office and I believe it is against company policy.

I am so glad you came through it and are now on the other side. I am thinking of you today and hoping that sunny days will find you. Very. Soon.

Whoever the big wigs are, I bet they're not in the Wikipedia!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heather_Armstrong

What's the next item to be placed on Chuck's head? How about a wig. If you can't beat 'em, mock 'em.

You rock and you're wonderful - hang in and breathe deep :)

well bugger that, dude! I'm so sorry.

Pardon me while I get baking.

Ug. I'm sorry the past few months have been so stressful. I think a detoxifying chocolate-cake-binge is just what the doctor ordered. Hang in there, Armstrongs.

I'm so sorry. That really sux sweaty goat balls.

I hope that you can, at least now, take some steps forward.

Aw Heather, I'm so very sorry.

I hope you feel better real soon.

I'm sorry things have been so rough for you lately. I do hope this is the end of it and you're able to move on.

Go have a huge piece of cake, you deserve it.

We're all pulling for you, Heather. Your feelings are a part of my daily web browsing, and this is a great opportunity to thank you for sharing them. My day wouldn't be the same without your humor and insights. And thanks for voicing the truth about black licorice. I can only hope my son will hate it like I do. Hang in there, and try to focus on the good vibes coming your way, and not the evil ones from those people, whoever they are. I'm sending you double-chocolate frosted vibes right now.

I'm sorry you've been through this rough time. I really do know what you've had to endure, and I am impressed that you have continued to function at all during this time, let alone keep on posting and being witty and smart as ever.

As a lawyer, I have learned that, more than anything, I do not ever want to be embroiled in any kind of legal battle myself. I have so much sympathy for you and for my own clients, who are frequently baffled and disillusioned by the impenetrability of the legal system, the unthinkable cost (personal and financial) of litigation and the intense scrutiny to which you are subjected as a litigant. It is a side of things that many people don't see before it's too late, until they're in the middle of things, often not by their own choice, as happened to you.

I hope at the very least your lawyers acted as counselors to you as well as advocates on your behalf. For me, this is the side of the profession that is the most neglected and should be, instead, the most important. We are all human beings, after all, and deserve to be heard and understood.

Mean people suck. I wish all the mean people in the world would be sucked up by a whirling vortex, deposited into outer space to be exploded into a million, gadjillion tiny evil pieces. If I had POWER, I could totally do that. And I would. For you and your family and all the other innocents on this planet. Come on over to my house, Heather. I will make you a lovely chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and I won't even make you brush your teeth afterwards. I hope whoever those evil people are....are reading this right now....Karma people, KARMA!

Oh, Heather. I don't know what to say. It hurts me just to get a glimps of what you have been going through lately.

And suddenly I hear The Corrs in my mp3. Everybody hurts. "Don't let yourself go. Cause everybody cries. Everybody hurts. Sometimes."

Thinking about all of you. There will be light.

After spending the last 3+ years mired in a different type of legal morass, I feel for you.

The legal system in this country is so royally f*cked up. A person is guilty until proven rich. And big companies should always be allowed to keep their money, regardless of their immoral and unethical behavior. Where are the protections for private citizens? I haven't been able to find them.

Congratulations on getting through to the other side. I'm sure that was an education you never wanted to be valedictorian of.

Oh Heather honey - even more prayers to you guys. I can only hope you had good legal counsel on your side. When can we buy a 2007 Congressman Chuckles calendar to help the cause?

A giant, giant hug from Boston,
-Lori

Dooce-family,

If there is anything that, we the readers, can do to help you...whether it be click a few more ads to help you through this, just let us know! If we can't fight the man for you directly we can sure as heck try to help you pay for it! You've given us so with with your bravery to bare your feelings this is the least we can do!

I wish none of it happened to you. I hope things start to get easier now.

What an awful thing to have to deal with. I'm sorry that this has happened and I can totally understand your bitterness. I wish there was something we could do to help.

Like everyone else, I don't want to see you go away. You inspire me to write about my feelings!
*insert gasping face here*

Kids say the darndest things. They are so innocent. Leta doesn't care about anything else in this world but her Mommy and Daddy...and maybe Elmo. Wouldn't it be great to be a child again?

You are human, and so is Jon. A person can only handle so much. Plus, if you're like me, and suffer from SAD, then the impending winter doesn't help things either.

I think you are wonderful and strong. Ending up in the bell jar doesn't make you any less of that.

I will eat some chocolate cake and think of you!

What an awful story, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. Why sue someone if they're not bazillionaires? Sounds like for the pure evil of it, which makes me cry inside for the state of our world.

I hope every person that comments here leaves you positive words of praise and love to help lift you back up. I love your site. I love the pictures of Leta. I love the picture of Chuck. You're a great person and the world is better for having known you.

I'm so sorry it's been so awful. That really sucks. Bastards.

You don't know me from Adam, as I am just another lurker, but I am really sorry for the hell you've been through in the past few months.

I am an attorney and have seen firsthand how people use litigation for utterly improper and often anitcompetitive and bullying types of reasons.

Apropos of nothing, I have developed something of a speciality on defamation and the internet. If you ever want to bounce something off a sympathetic attorney, you now have my email address.

Best to you and your family.

I don't know what to say, but I feel that I should say something. So- I am thinking of you... and f**k the dirty motherf**kers that are f**king with you. Eat some chocholate cake and then some more... and then tell us, your readers, what we can do to help. I keep thinking that there has got to be something. I am not a lawyer or I would offer legal help, but surely there is something.

I am thinking of you and your wonderful family and doing my best to send as many warm wonderful.. stamp the f**kers out... energy your way. Let me know if there is more that I can do. In the mean time have some more cake and take care.

Jen

I hate hate hate it when the only way to win a legal case is to bring the other party to bankrupcy. An old employer of mine sued a bunch of his former employees over a contract issue and the former employees all ended up declaring bankrupcy because the lawsuit went on so long.

However, there was a bit of karma. After it was all over the big company owner got a brain tumor and when he had it removed he lost his memory. I suppose it was his way of forgetting what a dick he had been.

I hope the nasties that sued you get what THEY deserve.

My thoughts go out to you and your family.

dooce,

i was worried about you and your family - and i'm sorry to hear about the trauma you've been through. it's always shattering, coming out of a long period of extreme stress like the one you've just experienced - but i think you've got a good handle on where to start picking up the pieces. Hug Jon, hug Leta, and devour that chocolate cake. And keep writing, woman. You are truly amazing, and such a gifted writer. Nobody has the right to stop your words. I wish you could see, just once, all the smiles and laughter and joy you bring to your readers each day.

Here's hope for some peace at the blurbodoocery in the coming months (winter is good for cuddling and hot chocolate by the fireplace!)

Hugs,
sak

Gosh where to begin. I completely understand and agree about the legal system and Lawyers. Sad thing is I'm a paralegal and work in a law office (part of the reason I hate my job). The law completely fails people most times. My hubby and I are going through some things and need an attorney who can help us in Alaska (yep I said AK) and unless I win the lottery it ain't going to happen. Not that you or anyone else care but: http://mominprogress.wordpress.com/2006/06/28/stuck-between-a-rock-and-a... and http://mominprogress.wordpress.com/2006/06/28/stuck-between-a-rock-and-a...
All that people care about anymore is freaking money. Who gives a crap about their fellow man.
I'm sorry you guys had to go through this and I hope you and Jon both can get past and heal yourselves from this issue. And even though it doesn't feel like it now, things will get better.
People suck, nuff said.

Oh, Heather. I am so sorry about all of this. I wish you had told us (your loyal readers who have grown to care about you and your family through your blogging). I'm positive there are tons of us who would have contributed to your legal battle. I mean, who likes Corporate bullies? Not us regular folks, I promise you! I hope one day you are able to share more with us so we can know who NOT to give any more of our money to.

This too shall pass, but your faith in the legal system is probably ruined forever. Know that we all are thinking about you and praying you see smoothers times ahead. Keep your chin up!

Wow, Heather. So sorry to hear about this. The legal system is broken... I think we all know this.

Chocolate cake with sprinkles on top for you, Jon and Leta.

I'd always wondered why there were so many lawyer jokes -- why'd we all chosen to pick on this particular profession/facet of society.

Then I needed to hire a lawyer.

I completely understand feeling violated, taken advantage of, and left still just as screwed as when you started.

I hope you heal fast. At the very least, choclate cake kicks ass -- depressed or not.

Heather, I haven't commented in a while, but I just wanted to chime and tell you I love you and I hope you guys are able to recover from this quickly.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

See, now you REALLY need to move to Elmo.

Who are they? Lemme at em.

To beat a dead horse, I too am sorry for all the pain and stress your little family has been through the past few months. I am glad that it is all behind you, and that you can begin to heal and move on. You and your family are in my prayers - for happiness, success, stability and peacefulness.

Also, I like reading about your feelings. Your feelings make my feelings look normal, and I like that harhar :)

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past year, and I draw on so many of your experiences and triumphs for strength. Thank you.

All sorts fo stress can send me spiraling, so I can't imagine dealing with mental illness AND a lawsuit, AND guilt. I know you'll hear a lot of "buck up," and "don't blame yourself" types of things, but I know that no matter how logical it is, it doens't make sense to your brain. But so many people care about you, and we're all pulling for you.

Your blog has helped me get through so many bad days. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad to hear it's coming to an end.

Costco makes an *incredible* chocolate cake. It weighs seven pounds;)

I wish I could send you a cake from smittenkitchen, cause Debs cooking is like nothing else, but I can direct you over there to her photos :)Heather, I am broke, and refuse to take babydaddy to childsupport court b/c he has threaten me with trying to gain custody of my son over me being gay, IF I DO. Not b/c I am gay, but b/c he could use it against me.
The relevence here is, he could never win, but I would have to mortgage my house, and spend a hundred grand and five years in court battling him, because his family has money. He won't pay me realistic or regular child support or be a decent father, but he'll pay lawyers to prove that he can beat me down. That he is "the man". And that's why you got sued, to prove they are "the man"= no offense to the real men out there, esp Jon :)

I feel your pain. I was audited and financially raped by the IRS, and along the way had the delightful experience of being told over and over again that I was targeted precisely because they knew they would win. I didn't make enough $$ to be able defend myself properly, and I was young, so my record keeping likely sucked - yep, they were right about that. The horror has only ended a few weeks ago and I am still shakingly angry. I mean literally - I know the physical feeling of going postal; your arms and face go numb.

I'm sure having Leta and Jon both adds to the guilt and provides a sheltering rock to crawl under, at least I didn't have anyone to worry about except for myself. You have done your best, and hopefully in time you will be able to laugh about things.

I'm glad you wrote about this. I hope it helps you heal and move on. Our thoughts are with you and Jon.

Dooce Loving Peeps:

For my birthday I left a donation in the Paypal Jar for the Armstrong Legal Defense Fund (my name for it) - if I could share my birthday cake with the Dooce fan community I would. So enjoy some virtual cake, and send some real support to our favorite girl.

-Lori

I haven't read a single comment...
I will in a minute once I've said my bit!
I f@$#%^g hate, despise, LOATHE that this society is a "sue-you-first-before-you-sue-me" one or even a "Ooooh I can make some money and destroy someone/something here so why not?" one too...It makes the bile rise in my throat to think I might even well end up a victim one day like you (because I have a headstrong, feisty character and my mother predicted it would get me into trouble one day)!! I feel so outraged for you and so upset.
That you can't even exercise freedom of speech is terrible in itself as this is your sanctuary here, your blog, your means of exorcising your feelings/emotions is it not? Oh maybe not cuz now you're too famous so you have to zip it...
I'm so sorry and hope you can come out it with some dignity intact.

BTW My husband, 3 yr old and I will be moving to UTAH in March. Frankly I am dreading it - Mormons, no chocolate, no coffee, no alcohol, polygamy, cult attitudes (!) ....people have filled my head with that kind of stuff...Knowing you come from there makes me feel optimistic in that not all people there are going to hate me for being me !! Oh and please tell me which neighbourhoods not to look for a home in...Ta !

Keep your chin up!

Heather, best wishes to you and yours in picking up the pieces. Kind of makes me glad that I left law school before they could kick me out.

Also, everyone who wants to donate... there's a teeny-tiny wee little donate section on the right-hand side, under the Gooooooogle ads. I'd donate myself, but we're so po' right now, we can't afford the rest of the word.

So very sorry that happened to you. My goodness. I can't help but look at Jon's picture today and the one of you in his Flickr account and know that at different times, both of you have enough love and strength to carry the other through times like this. Eat your cake...
Karen
xo

I feel so bad for your family having to go through this, remember to lean on eachother and that everything happens for a reason.
Just in case it helps, I want to tell you that I've read your blog eversince I had postpartum depression and wanted to leave my family in a most dramatic fashion. I've also told all of the women in my family about you and we all read and care about what you have to say. Your thoughts and opinions matter to us and sometimes even inspire us. Please keep at it.
Besides that, I'd love to make you a chocolate cake, you know, the kind they used to make when they thought butter and sugar were healthy and the only chocolate around was the really really good kind.
Love and suppport from a perfect stranger, Dawn.

Thanks Veep, never would have found those links had you not told me.

Aha. So that's why I've been getting so many referral searches for "heather armstrong sued" and "dooce being sued" and "blurbodoocery suit" in my referral logs this morning. Good to know that the suit has been settled -- WHEW.

VERY sorry to hear about this.

Karma is a bitch and they'll get theirs.

This is a disturbing story on many levels, but primarily what it's done to you and what it says about our country.

Of course we're all curious on the details, but beyond that what does this all mean for blogs, and freedom of speech, and whatever else was involved? What does it all mean?

You do SO much for so many by going out on a limb on this website. We'd hate to lose you to the writing world. Maybe a private website is the way to go...Join, etc. (of course assuming any of this is about the blog, which I'm sure it is....)

WE LOVE YOU HEATHER!!!!!! and Leta and Jon! You're like family to us! :)

For some reason when I read your post I envisaged writing a letter to the unknown money grabbing b*stards along the lines of 'The Young Ones'

It started something along the lines of this:

Dear Fascist Bully-Boy
GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY YOU &%^$£!*&%$ing B*STARDS!

It won't bring back the money or get rid of the stress of the past few months, but it might just give you some satisfaction and make you feel just that little bit better.

Whatever you do, just don't mail it to them.

I was sued and dealt with lawyers, court appearances, depositions, mediation, etc. for two years after my Mom died. Since then, I have advised all of my friends to stay away from lawyers and courts at any cost. In hindsight, I wish I had settled and saved the enormous amount of money I ended up paying lawyers. (Not to mention the time I lost and panic attacks I had.) My advice is to take a good shower, enjoy your family, don't take it personally because A LOT of people get sued, and, most importantly, help someone avoid what you went through. It will make you feel better.

Sounds like you need some really good chocolate cake. My advice to you is to buy a box of Hershey's Cocoa Powder and follow the recipe for their “Perfectly Chocolate” chocolate cake and frosting. It’s not possible to be sad while eating this cake.

i'm being sued now too - mercifully, they are in boston and i am in washington state...so i just hid from the processor servers...that's been working nicely for me since april or so...too bad everyone knows you are in utah...

and i would so totally donate to your defense fund, if there were such a thing...because lawyers are minions of satan on earth :)

get yourself a big ole slab of cake...

Settlement is like waking up with the worst hangover you've ever had on one of those brilliant, warm and sunny fall days that you know you should be enjoying. there's nothing that can make you feel any better about it, but at least you're no longer paying lawyers. Every settling litigant should be handed a balloon full of nitris oxide and shuffled out of the room as soon as the papers are signed. If I ever practice law again, I'll make sure to include that service in my hourly fee.

Heather,

So, so sorry for what's going on. Glad to hear it is resolved. I know you guys will find the way to get past it. Your pic of Jon today was wonderful. You guys are so lucky to have eachother and to have Leta. I know there are days that my hubby and two babies are the only things that keep me going. Just want to say that I look forward to and appreciate your blog so much. Thanks, Thanks, Thanks.

Oh no. What a horrible past few months this must have been. Nothing causes stress like the threat of financial ruin. I'm sorry that you've had to keep silent, when as a writer, WRITING is your outlet.
I hope the fog begins to finally lift. Add me to the chorus of the millions of us who wish you, John and Leta happiness, health and healing.

I was once royally screwed by an ex-mormom bishop. Since he had lots of friends in high places all I could do was spend a bunch of cash trying to regain my cash. The system works best for those with the money honey. Sorry for you. Your best revenge is writing about it and letting it go.

Cake doesn't go in the mail well, but I'm working on it. Maybe a cupcake could work?

I didn't know you could be sued for NOT signing a contract. I thought contracts were for outling all the things you could be sued for AFTER signing it.

Please move to Canada. You can snowboard here, we have cake, and it's a lot harder to sue people. We will take care of you well if I have a say in it.

Failing that, I hope you can get them back somehow.

OMG! WTF? I feel for you!!! I once had a small business that I ran out of my bedroom. I quickly learned that no matter how hard you try to keep your butt and your nose wiped clean someone will come along to tell you that you're doing it wrong, and that they deserve $$$ served up on a platter because of it.

I know it doesn't make it any easier, but just remember that you're not alone.

Chocolate cake is good. But, when I thought I was on the verge of being sued AppleBee's Perfect Margarita's were even better than chocolate cake.

Heather, that sucks donkey butt! Hang in there - all of us, the minions of Blurbodoocery, are behind you 150%.

Heidi

Legal proceedings, like secrets, are burdensome things. You've had to endure both, and for that, you're entitled to more cake. And cowbell. Be well.

Wowzers Kiddo, I am so sorry you are going through this. People suck sometimes, that's all I have to say on that.

I can appreciate the fact that you can recognize that the only option is being there when Lita gets up for chocolate cake. Whoot! That is such progress, you are really doing well. Take that fact and celebrate it. Yeah, with cake! And water, with ice, in a big cup, a blue cup. Yeah!

You have many people that are rooting for you and your family.

xoxo

Brenda K.

Ok I have two comments:
1. After I found your blog (via that magazine article about you) you quickly climbed above every single other website I check each morning over my coffee. Countless hours of entertainment and aww at how adorable Leta is. I want to thank you for your honesty and humor. There are plenty of us out here who support you... we could stage a protest.

1. "HOLY CRAP DOOCE you're on wikipedia! That's amazing!"

I feel so bad for you - I guess it's time to bite the bullet and paypal you something for this wonderful site that has brought me so much joy.

Before I begin, let me remind everybody that saying all lawyers walk on the dark side is a sweeping generalization...like saying that all Mormons are like Donny Osmond and eat pretzels the way he does. I am a lawyer. I don't practice law in the traditional sense because it tended to develop every character flaw encoded in my DNA. It's true, we are a litigious society whose demand for a pound of flesh rests largely on the ability to pay for it. But it is also a system that is responsible for giving women the right to choose and to vote. It has enabled minorities to secure rights they hadn't had in the past and will continue, if I have anything to say about it, to protect our right to free speech. Having been censored before (I was a Catholic Theologian too, how's that for a conundrum) it is a horrible, demoralizing experience to be punished for an opinion. But it can also be a lesson in how precious that freedom is and give us courage to do whatever it takes to keep it. Never stop writing Heather. You are just too talented to let someone bully you into silence.

It sounds trite, but I'll echo what some other people have said. I'm am so sorry for the trauma you've been through. Not only all the legal shit, but not being able to talk about it in this place that must be a second home to you by now. That's just rotten, and mean, and... and... Grinchly! Silliness aside, it sucks, and you deserve a lot more than chocolate cake (although I'm sure it wouldn't hurt matters any). You shouldn't feel disloyal or dishonest for a single moment for not blogging about it, since it was probably very good legal counsel, but I'm glad you got it off your chest in the end.

Hang in there, Heather (and Jon too, and Leta). It makes me glad to know that you've emerged on the other side of the legal stuff and can start to make slow steps towards normalcy (whatever that is, but I'm fairly sure it doesn't involve courts). You'll make it.

After all of this you not only deserve chocolate cake, you deserve to eat it while taking a nice hot bubble bath. Just don't spill any crumbs, because we all know no one likes to see brown floaties in their bath....totally destroys the ambiance.

"I see," said the blind man. The court system is a joke, and I two-hundred-and-fifty-second the sentiments above. I'm happy to do a sit-in if the need arises (as a former poster mentioned). It's on my lifetime to-do list, and *you* are *so* worth it!! My Jon went through some similar "illnesses" during a very stressful period (not HIS period, of course . . . that's the topic of another post). Depression, illnesses, stress. They are most definitely intertwined. (Utah is rockin' beautiful this month, by the way!)

I'm takin' names, Heather. it's what i do. i don't know how effective i am, but numerous people come up to me during the day and verbally give me a list of names of people who have hurt them. perhaps it's because i don't take crap well and it makes them feel better to know that i would be the one to say all the things they wish they could say (but can't because they could lose their job--which i've recently come close to doing-- or hurt their family, etc).

i don't deal well with bullshit, especially when it causes someone pain. and you, who are a herione for so many of, the one who gets us through our bad days, you don't deserve crap from people.

i wish i could do more than wish i could take your pain away, or send you chocolate cake vibes. so i'll take names if it at all helps.

Hmmm. Does it start with an "N" and rhyme with "Mikon." I used to have to work with them for advertising co-op and they suck.

Hi Heather,

Longtime reader, first-time poster. Just wanted to say: "F those F'ing F'ers!!!"
That really sucks, dude. I'm so sorry you've been going through silent hell for so long. I also wanted to say that reading your site makes my day. I would miss you if you went away, so don't. M-kay? Thaaaanks.

Glad you are through the tunnel, and here's hoping the sun shines on your face for an extended period of time.

Hugs,
Kimburgerly

Ah that sucks! I'm sorry it ever happened and glad it is over, at least. I sure love reading your blog!

I actually do have chocolate cake, and if I could, I would give you and leta both a piece.

I've had my own frustrating and sanity-challenging experience with the court system, so I send you all my best.

Sometimes people suck. Fortunately for us, you aren't one of those people.

Just another faithful and very long time reader of Dooce sending out good vibes to the one and only blog I read every single day.
So... feel the East Coast positive vibe coming your way!
We can all appreciate the fact that the legal system often doesn't work well for the "good guys."
But you surely can see how much you are appreciated.
I'd be willing to pitch in a few bucks for legal fees for sure!

legal battles are always utter hell, no matter what the details entail - - bless Jon, bless you, and lil' Leta ~ hope things will return to a happier level real soon.

Like Bo's Mom told him, "When things go bad, don't go with 'em."

I'll be sending the very best mojo to you and John and Leta. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

You're the bees knees and cat's pajama's all rolled up in one.

what the hell? why are there people in the world who can try to destroy other people and ruin their lives and still walk around afterward? gah.

while i don't know the whats and hows, i do know that there are moments like this when feeling bad is all you can do. until it feels better.

i hope you can finally begin to feel better.

...did someone say cake?

:( I wish there was something I could do. If I didn't live 2039438 miles away, I'd bring you over some chocolate cake right now. Know that we love you and you are in our thoughts and prayers. All three of you. :)

Though not as serious, I'm dealing with a situation that is killing my faith in the American justice system as well. And lawyers, as mentioned in my comment on your last post. Sending some virtual chocolate cake your way...

Situations like that make my heart beat really hard... as if it wants to leave my body because I'm no good for it anymore. Just the thought of it and I feel pains in my chest.

Maybe it wants chocolate cake.

Panic sets in and I can't breathe... what have I done to deserve this... and curses... who put the bars over the windows... what if there were to be a fire.

I have really big windows that I can walk through with ease... and they're energy efficient. Barred windows scare me.

Have yourself a hot-toddy and watch some Red Green in your jammies. Or listen to some Sugarcubes or Jesus and the Mary Chain.

Happy Unbirthday to you.

Light be with you for life.... Even when it is dark outside.

xoxo

I agree with Lessie at 2:54PM - forgive yourself. Easier said than done, though. I'm sorry this happened to you. Reading about Leta (especially the monthly newsletters) is a joy for me, and I hate to "see" you so bummed out over something you had no control over.....that sucks. Down with the system! I blame the man.

Heather,
While I don't know the specifics of your case, I can say that I understand what you have gone thru from a similar experience. We were sued for $110,000 about 10 years ago for a 5 mph rear ender fender bender. The day we were served the papers was around the same time I found out I was pregnant (and didn't think at the time I wanted to be). I was sick to my stomach for about 6 months over it. Luckily we have a great insurance company that went to bat for us and whittled that amount down to about $30,000 . Mind you, I would have paid the lying loser NOTHING if I had any real say in it but after all we had gone thru, it was worth it to get the cry baby off our backs. Guess what I am getting at is, I understand the stress, the violation, the humiliation you have been feeling. Be easy on your self and just know that there are millions of people out there who think you are hot shit!! Me included :)

I think the only Mormon and/or Christian thing to do is to simply hire someone to visit the people that are suing you and have them return with one of the plantiff's bones that is large enough to be suitable for a paperweight.

The court system is very expensive and so much less satisfying.

Trust me the bone paperweight is much sweeter than chocolate cake.

take it from this old mamma dog, when Leta asks, “Mom? I want chocolate cake,” it's not about you but her...having you around to ask.

'cause she'd never get over not having you.

so, what now? you've lived through it, yes.

this is how you grow older and wiser, and kinder -- more compassionate.

and she'll know that, feel that, learn from it. i think at some point i realized i couldn't fix my children's world, merely i could provide a model to show them what choices they have, and that they even have choices about how they respond to their lives.

signing off before i sound like stuart smalley.

hang in there. this too shall pass.

and you and leta can eat chocolate cake - together, a blessing.

Sued for NOT signing a contract. That just REEKS.

And I have no idea what this is about...but if it involves a camera company, I'll be even more pissed.

But in the end, you know you did what was right - and that's what counts in the end. You held your ground, you didn't lose everything you hold dear --- which frankly, is NOT the house, or the MONEY. But it is Jon and Leta and YOURSELF.

Lawsuits are horrible, horrible things, and our system sucks. But by even writing about this, you are a living testimony that somehow, the right person prevailed. If for no other reason, but that now all your fans are mad as hell and ready to help out in any way they can. And as famous as you are, you're still REAL - and can invigorate so many of us to act.

Eat some cake, drink some vodka, and know that we are out here for you!

You writings on how you have dealt with your depression was a major push for me to agree to help for myself.

Anyone know how to send a chocolate cake from Texas to Utah?!

I can relate to not being able to talk about something and feeling like I'm being dishonest. That is a quirk indeed isn't it?

I could feel the discomfort in your words and the ones you've been writing lately. Fall brings out the worst in me at first and then it all changes and becomes ok. I remember something I was told by a Nun many years ago. It's not that you fall down. It's that you keep getting back up. It helps me in my darkest of times.

I'm just grateful there is a Dooce in the world that has led so many other women to open themselves up and speak their truth.

You are doing good in the world. That is most admirable.

!piglet

I meant to say exude compassion instead of hatred.

I don't have extra money to donate.

Nor do I have a way to send chocolate cake.

I do have fingers, though.

I will make a conscious effort to click as many ads I can every time I come to this site.

I am so sorry to hear that you and your family have been put through this, Heather. Please, don't blame yourself. I don't know the details, but I can't help but think that you had no idea that not signing that contract would lead to such a fiasco. I think that anyone who doesn't understand our fucked up legal system as well as those who created/run it would probably make the same mistake. It scares me, too, because I'm about as ignorant as they come when shit like that is involved.

I really don't think that what that compandy did to you is fair, and if you're ever able to disclose information about it so we can stop supporting them, please do!

Sorry this comment is so long. I'm just trying to make sure I have all my thoughts down so I don't end up posting multiple times like I did yesterday.

Huge hugs to you, Jon, and Leta!

~*Leslie*~

Hang in there. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You are your family deserve so much more.

so, you can't point fingers. BUT... if we (your loyal doocebags) were to hear something about who was "puttin' baby in a corner" so to speak, what could said doocebags do to make you feel better? Say the word, send a newsletter. We are here to do your bidding.

Oh, and the Chuck 07 calendar? Great money raising idea. Don't lose your house; call on your supporters. We're more than faceless masses. We're web savvy nerds with resources!

xoxo

Boycott books by Kensington Publishing Corp. *I* said that not Heather, before a corporation starts to get more funny ideas.

Oh Heather. Big BIG hugs.

Shite I feel bad for being a lawyer now.

Hugs and support, and chocolate cake. And we're not all shits.

I *heart* your site.

Obviously nobody means any harm with their wild speculations about who the plaintiff is. That said, however, I would stop starting or discussing rumors about it being a particular camera manufacturer. I think Heather has enough legal trouble to deal with without risking any more.

I am so sorry to hear about your recnt legal difficulties, and I hope everything is smooth sailing now that it's settled. I've had some legal troubles myself, and it feels like an inescapable blackhole of misery and fear; like you're a fly pinned to the table by a knifeblade. No fun, for sure.

Also, do not blame yourself because other people are assholic bastards. How is it even POSSIBLE to be sued for not signing a contract and for writing a diary, on-line status notwithstanding?? Mystifying shitfest, that's what that is.

Best wishes to you and your family.

I'm also delurking to offer cake.

Thank you, Colleen, for the info. After reading it, I just have to say: wow. They suck.

Hang in there Heather and Jon. You'll come out on top.

{redacted]

Perhaps some of the trollers who appear regularly on here and in Heather's inbox, could put their skills to good use for once, and actually e mail this guy with their colourful use of English? An outlet to vent all your frustrations, and what's more people will love you! Furthermore, copy somewhere in blogosphere, so we can all pick it up via Technorati, a Google blog search.

From a legal viewpoint, there is so much I could say about that complaint. I have one question, if an "oral agreement" was sufficient to be legally binding, why bother to take months to piss around with a written contract? Why not just go ahead with just an oral agreement then? The logic defies me. This one is on the corporation, it didn't treat a client well, and they went. If you are going to work with someone, simple logic states that you treat them well.

As for Heather having no intention from the outset, so she visits her attorney for fun?

Kensington threw its rattle out of its pram, simply on the basis they knew Heather rocked and what they were missing. Heather, don't forget that. They failed to deliver on a customer service, and because of their own shortcomings, they projected it on you.

In your own time, if you do publish, I'll be buying. However, your health and the health of your family comes first ... take time to look after it.

heather

that sucks..................freakin big time scum bags think they can play God with the ordinary persons life!! B@stards!!

Hi, hang in there.

Enjoy your family, enjoy each new day, be happy. You give a lot of people a lot of joy with your writing, and something that great has got to put a smile on your face even in the face of all the legal hassles.

D.

Hello, you didn't sign anything therefore no obligation. What fuckers. And what a fucking worthless legal system.

I won't even pretend to understand what you've been through, but it must have been awful and diffcult and I'm sorry you and Jon had to endure that.

Go eat some chocolate cake. With chocolate icing. And some sort of ice cream. And fudge sauce. And M&M's. And caramel sauce. And maybe a few gummy worms too.

A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships. - Helen Keller

Keep the chin up Dooce!

Heather,
How to send comfort to a complete stranger?

Laughing, exercise and company are all good for stress.
Have you been out to your public library recently? Maybe a day trip, with a side-trip for chocolate cake.

Here are some suggestions for your next family reading session on the couch.

Walter the Farting Dog - Kostwinkle, Murray & Colman
Something from Nothing - Phoebe Gilman
Franklin in the Dark - Bourgeois & Clark
Catwings - Ursula LeGuin

no, being sued is not like being raped. being raped is like being raped, and being sued is like one big, giant hassle that sucks but is very much different than being raped. what's wrong with you people?