my dogs can give high fives. it's really easy to teach, too. put a treat in your hand, grab the dog's paw, tap the dog's paw against your hand, then give the dog the treat. then, as the dog gets bored with this, start saying "high five!" as you do it. sooner or later, the dog will start to understand what you want. then, stop putting the treat in your hand and just put it up and say "high five!" then give the dog the treat. my younger dog actually learned how to do this by watching the older dog do it. maybe i just have freakishly smart dogs? maybe you could teach chuck to "give mad props" or something. POST PICTURES OF THE DOG.

You can always post your doggie heart out on my petblog...remember my petblog? Hehehehe...Seriously, though, the dog stories are great. PICTURES, PLEASE.

I know this really cool dog, who when you point your fingers at her like you're holding a gun, and yell BANG BANG, she falls to the ground and pretends she's dead.

Dude, don't lose the dog stories. I like the stories about dogs and I think, from what I know of the dog, that you are both swell. And that's good.

it's pronounced "doo-kie". If not, I feel like a fool for pronouncing it that way for the past year or so.

what? im pretty sure its pronounced like DUECE

My parents' dog can shake and play soccer, but he's afraid to go upstairs. Any stairs. Like, steps.

I love Chuck.

I'm taking care of my roommate's pet turtle while he's away on business. Since he gets to go to Bangkok and Tokyo and I get to sit here in L.A. and feed this stupid-ass thing that only swims around its tank and occasionally moves the rocks and crap in the tank, I gladly welcome any stories about any interactive pets. Reading about your dog is definitely more interesting than sitting and watching this damn turtle do nothing. Eventually, I may require the turtle to justify its existence in four-part essay form.

The way you tell a story, I don't really care whether you talk about your dog or your toe nail clippings. Though, really, I would rather not read any posts about toe nail clippings. As for loving your dog so much that you want to write about his every little move, I can totally understand. My cat is so cute and amusing with her 1-800-poster-child-please-feed-me and what-do-you-mean-I-missed-the-box-again expressions that I have to tie my hands to the chair arms to keep from writing about her. At least your dog is smart and handsome and oh-so-damn-sexy that Beaver Cleavers everywhere have to hump him or die of blue balls. Whereas my cat is so stupid, she asks for food even when her bowl is full.

It's not what you write about, it how you write it! And you've got that part all figure out ;)

if you keep it funny, we'll never get bored of hearing about your dog.

"Deuce" with a soft ssss-like "c"?
Oh smack! I feel like a fool now. It's like singing the wrong lyrics to a song for years and finding out the actual lyrics when you have the closed captioning feature turned on the TV.

I don't mind the dog stories, but howzabout some photos? That was always my favorite part of the old site.

I love the dog stories - I love ANY Dooce stories, but I truly miss the sidebar fun with the "How to charm me" and "How to annoy me" and what have you. I also miss the Asian Database Admin stories.

In any case, I'm thrilled your back and you can write whatever you want.

You need to come and teach my cat to, how do I put this?, 'cover up her stuff'. She is surely irritated by standing in a pile of her own mess yet in her feeble attemps to cover it up, only scratches the plastic litterbox cover as if to say "See? I tried." My floundering income -- a result of excessive cat litter purchases -- and I would be most grateful.

it doesnt matter what the story is about... i just love the way you write, dooce. your husband is one luck mofo - not cuz of the way you write, but because of the way you think. tell his sweaty ass i said, "ssssszup".

i don't recall a Sour Bob from my past. i knew several Sour Matts, but no Sour Bobs.

ok, Sour Bob, now you're freaking me out. if there's one name you could have pulled out of my past to send me running to my therapist, it would be Mrs. Halford. i'm going to go to a corner and cry now.

how do I know you're not just Mrs. Halford masquerading as a bitter, insufferable, narcissistic, divorce-obsessed jackass named Sour Bob? i'm not falling for this.

you do realize that this is what every blogger fears, that someone who knew them in high school -- that period of time you've spent the last 10 years trying to forget, that period of time that keeps coming up in technicolor nightmares, night after night after night -- finds their website and reminds them that they will never overcome the terrible memory of what a dramatic, terribly over-sensitive, whiny, skinny, Dan Quayle-loving, zealously Mormon cocksmack they once were.

FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, edit my name out of that, Hamilton.

And don't forget how mucb you liked Ayn Rand, you big cocksmack.

is that better?

I know Bob's name! I know Bob's name!
On second thought, I see absolutely no way I could benefit from that information. So much for that power theory.
By the way Dooce, how about a cookie that inputs my name and website so I don't have to type it in all the time? Come on, I'm lazy. You have to relate to this.

So you're being a little cookie Nazi now, aren't you?

I think you may be losing your external alignment to your customer.

Someone stop me now.

Are you going to send me an email, or am I going to have to tell these people which movie it was that was your first R-rated film ever? After which, since that was no good, you swore never to see another R-rated movie ever.

Wait! you liked Dan Quayle?

Dooce, one of my old high school classmates just found MY blog, too. See comments to this post. (Oh, and read the article if you want...you're mentioned in it.)

can I have some music recommendations please? Even if it's dog-centric, dog-related, or reminiscent of dogs.

Manfred Mann was really singing, "Blinded by the light/Revved up like a dooce."