Fawnzelle La Bon Marché Armstrong
It's a girl!
20 years from now in some chilly doctor's office littered with scary abstract art and old issues of Newsweek, my daughter is going to ask her therapist how she could have possibly had a normal life when it all began with her mother posting pictures of her private parts ON THE INTERNET.
God help her.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. the husband said:
Thank GOD everything is ok now. I'm gonna be a Dad!!
2. patatomic said:
Congrats!! I'm sure she'll be a stone cold fox (in that baby kind of way).
3. Marta said:
Yayyy, lucky you! Girls are soooo much fun to dress up. :D
4. Cornelia said:
Congratulations!!!
5. brittney said:
Holy freaking crap!
A girl.
It's a good day for all us girl types, I'd say.
6. Ariel said:
Oh whew. A boy was going to get some roughin' up for wearing that cute little pink dress you were eyeing.
Blurb: time to start getting protective and preparing ways to skin teenage boys, come 2020.
7. domino said:
I like how she's showing her bum to the camera. This kid has attitude already... :)
Congrats, Heather & Jon.
8. UnderwearNInja said:
2020? Boys won't wait around that long. I figure he'll be polishing guns in the front room wearing nothing but boxers while 16 year old boys come over to court his 14 year old daughter.
9. david said:
much congrats you two! have you decided for sure on fawnzelle?
10. Beth said:
Congrats! :)
11. Torrie said:
How about Brittany Spears Armstrong?
I hope she turns out to be just as wonerfuly sarcastic as her parents.
12. Torrie said:
Also, glad to see comments are back!
13. Erica said:
Ultrasounds get fancier and fancier these days. Congratulations!
14. Anne said:
Bring on the vomit-pink frilly dresses!!
But seriously, congrats!
15. Heather #2 said:
20 years from now in some chilly doctor’s office littered with scary abstract art and old issues of Newsweek, my daughter is going to ask her therapist how she could have possibly had a normal life when it all began...
...in UTAH.
Love to your both and congrats. I'm feeling the happiness FOR YOU.
16. peidirtie said:
all that talk about mad hair and crazy body types will manifest itself much more dramatically in this feminine form. Ke-Ming's double cow-lick congratulates the little girl, and her future hair.
17. Sawsanna said:
Where is the Amazon Wish list? I want to send you stuff! Babies = stuff it's a fact of life!
18. bdk&e said:
IT'S AN ALL CAPS APPROPRIATE COMMENT: CONGRATULATIONS! --How do you feel about arranged marriages? Hmmm... Jon and Heather Armstrong are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter, Fawnzelle Le Bon Marche Ladonvernelle Armstrong to Eli Potato Adams on Saturday March 23, 2028 at the Zen Institute...
19. shana said:
oh my gosh! congratulations to you, you win!
girls are more fun, anyways.
20. Jane's Parents said:
Congrats.
Baby girls are wonderful!
21. Gaspar said:
Mille auguri a Fawnzelle! (ma perché non Maria? Anna? Elena? è obbligatorio essere il numero uno su Google?)
22. Yahmdallah said:
=)
23. Scott said:
Congratulations Heather and Jon. May your daughter have the wit of her mother.
24. Danika said:
Congrats!!!
25. Jason said:
Congratulations! I look forward to reading the witty posts made possible by this revelation of gender. I know you won’t let us down.
26. lizpenn said:
good gravy. i just interrupted a grim slogging workday with the happy thought, hey, didn't dooce have her ultrasound today? and lo and behold, not only did you have it, not only did you post the good news immediately, not only are you having A GIRL (the best gender of child. sorry, but it just is), but you have re-enabled comments so that your proud readers may send in their good wishes! thanks for reinventing the blog genre and for inviting us into your hilarious, ordinary, wonderful life. i hope being as good a mother as you're sure to be doesn't keep you from being as good a writer as you already are.
27. mister justin said:
So, do you have her life already mapped out?
Let's hear how you plan to live vicariously through your dish washing, lawn mowing, trash taking outing automaton.
28. leandra said:
Congrats! Honestly, I have no idea how people can see anything on those ultrasound photos. :)
29. Amber said:
Congrats! Bring on the frilly pink stuff! You know, almost 2 years ago, I was about as anti-frilly pink as you could get, but since having my little girl, it's amazing how much frilly pink stuff you find in drawers and closets. :)
30. Naaman said:
Congratulations Jon and Heather!!!
31. allisonic said:
Congratulations!
And thanks for opening up the comments section to share it.
Also, don't forget the name "Allison" as an option.
I'm just sayin....
32. Jessica said:
Congrats on the little munchkin!! I just found you and your site a month ago and can't stay away. As I was finishing my day I thought about you having your sonogram today. Thanks for keeping us in the loop.
33. april said:
Somehow I get the feeling that that little girl ain't takin' shit from anybody on the playground!
34. LN said:
Congrats !!!
35. Mandy said:
Yayness! Congrats on the girl, you two. :D
36. KDunk said:
congrats! now u can dress her up in that little pink outfit you posted a photo of.
37. primaprimate said:
awesome possum! Congrats to you both. What a wonderful thing! So when do you think she'll start trying to borrow your clothes? that favorite lipstick?
38. melissa said:
Holy cow! She's beautiful! (Here's hoping she doesn't inherit her papa's facial hair...)
Congratulations...you guys will be great.
39. aubs said:
Yes, a scrumptious bearded Fawnzelle may raise a few eyebrows in middle school!
Congrats! So happy for you FOUR! (including Chuck & Lil' Fawnie here, of course...)
40. Liz said:
Congratulations! It's another baby in Mormonland!
41. jackie said:
i have absolutely no idea where the baby is in that picture, i mean, except for the cootie-coo, but where's the face and stuff? does it have a face? do babies have faces? i have no idea what's going on... but CONGRATS! that's awesome!
42. owen said:
maybe it just me but I didn't understand the pic at first, eventually had to ask girl what it was in the picture exactly(picture of lower body). My ultrasound pic reading skills are surely lacking.
43. trish said:
congrats... and I must admit to also being completely confused by that ultrasound pic...
44. Nikki said:
Wait! I thought you were naming her Norah!
And a hearty congradulations to you both.
45. the mighty jimbo said:
congratulations! breeders in utah. what are the odds? Baby girls are great - i have three nieces and love them more than life. i'm going to have to just run with you on this cause i see as much in an ultrasound as i do in a rothko.
and based on my experience with babies (i forget just how many times i'm an uncle now between family and friends) i'm willing to bet that in a few months this little girl will be pooping enough for all of you.
46. Tiff said:
Do you think she will be born with beautiful Septic Tank Poopy Red hair???
Little mini Brintey outfits, in pink, aren't you lucky???
47. samaman said:
i'm hiding my sons now, just to be safe.
48. Karrey said:
Don't ever forget:
When you have a boy, you've got one penis to worry about.
When you've got a girl, you've got ALL the penises (penii?) to worry about.
Chuck's going to be the bestest big brother in the world.
49. Dennis Scanland said:
Girls are cute but boys rule!
50. Appleshell said:
This is the day I've been waiting for. Comments are back up!
LMAO, I was thinking that your daughter is going to be forever tramatized by you posting her privates on the internet before I even read the post.
Contrats!
Girls are easier to raise until they hit 12.
51. Brandi said:
Congrats! Have you thought of any girl names? Is Chuck excited to have a baby sister??
52. Ryan said:
YEA!!! Congratulations!
53. Lisa said:
Congratulations!
Jon, I hope you're planning to celebrate your XX with some XX (ahem, the beer, not the movies). And remember, you're drinking for three...
On behalf of Heavenly Father, I'd like to thank you for doing your part to multiply and replenish the earth.
54. jcrew said:
Congratulations! You guys are going to be great parents. Our first was a girl too, I can't believe how our lives have changed in two short years. Get ready, and best wishes!
55. erika said:
I don't even see a cootie coo. I will never be able to read an ultrasound picture!!!
Congrats and blessings for your baby girl!
56. wistful said:
Congratulations, Heather & Jon! Can't wait to see more pictures of your little sweet darling. :)
57. vlado said:
Congratulations...
58. rah said:
everything i was going to say has already been said, so i'll just say CONGRATS!
59. Genevieve said:
How exciting!! Girl clothes are so much cuter! Congrats to all of you!
60. ina said:
With parents like hers, this girl is already destined for geeky greatness.
Congratulations, dooce and blurb!
61. Michelle said:
Congratulations!! What fun she will be!
62. Melissa said:
Dear God...the clothes, the CLOTHES!
Congrats.
63. Renee said:
Don't forget to click on the picture. There's a circle around the "girl parts"! I couldn't figure out the damn thing at all without the circle!
64. Ali said:
Wow, I'm glad someone understands those ultrasound pictures!
Congratulations on your baby girl!
Here's to hoping that her therapist understands.
65. Marc said:
Congrats - and some advice...did you get video? If you a bring a tape to the session they'll tape the sonogram output for you if you ask - otherwise you're stuck (as we were) with a quickly yellowing piece of thermal paper...at least you scanned it - it makes a nice first page of the baby pix book (or photoblog if you like).
66. Jenny said:
YAHOO! Heather, Jon, my deepest congrats. She's gonna drive you so crazy you'll have no idea how to love anything more.
67. candace said:
you know, i keep looking at that photo...trying to figure out if what i'm supposed to see is very little of greatly magnified. feeling dizzy now...
in any case, happy baby to you both!
68. candace said:
ok, so i'm retarded. i just *accidentally* clicked on the pic and your sonogram for dummies enlargement showed up. thank you :)
69. Heather said:
You have not experienced love until you look your child in the eye for the first time. It will be the most incredible moment in your life. Treasure it.
PS make sure you hit the Disney store right after Halloween and stock up on the princess costumes
70. Xanthan said:
Congratulations, Armstrongs! Such wonderful news.
.
Word to DJ Blurb: when she's of dating age, display the gelding shears prominently in the entry hall where the boys can see 'em. I'm sure you can buy 'em at Safeway in Utah.
71. A new Auntie said:
My sister is just behind you and I keep looking here as a month-ahead guide. She's thousands of miles away (& due in Feb)so I don't know how she's growin'. However, I did find out that I will have a perfect beautiful niece. Do you mind if we steal Fawnelle??? Maybe just Dorothy will suffice.
72. April said:
Congratulations!!!
73. dayment said:
Yayy! Go buy that adorable little dress pronto!
And name ideas yet?
74. ryan said:
Me and Christilina.com say congratulations!
nice pic(ultrasound)
Ryanolio
75. erica said:
yay for baby girls! congrats!
76. Jeni said:
Am I the only one who can't make heads or tails of that ultra sound?!
Congratulations Heather!
77. brad in baltimore said:
hello.
hello--check,check.
check check check.
is this thing on?
78. Zandria said:
"The girl should be in pictures"...isn't that (*roughly*) a quote from somewhere? Just something I thought about when I saw this particular addition of the soon-to-be Miss Armstrong. (Fawnzelle, Shaneequa, or whatever the name turns out to be!) I almost feel sorry for you, having to decide on a name with all the possibilities. For some reason I imagine the one you end up with in the end won't be quite as shocking....
79. supasoulsista said:
i guess the easiest and most natural thing to say is congrats - may she be a holy terror for you to enjoy and regale us with stories in your blog about :)
80. Melodrama said:
Congratulations. Girls are so much better than little boys and when they get older, so much better than big boys too!
81. Grace said:
When she's famous, this will be the picture on all the tabloids.
82. s00ka said:
awesome! :O
Congrats! I was worried about "Fawnzelle" but the "Le Bon" part just pulls it all together.
83. iLLa said:
woo! congrats!
84. Seth said:
Wheee!
Super-congrats to the three of you.
I mean four. (Sorry Chuck.)
85. Kitta said:
Congratulations.
What would really stuff her up is if you post pictures of the birth online. No amount of therapy could repair the damage that would cause.
86. Inertiatic said:
Kitta does have a point there. Congratulations, Dooce and Dad.
87. -leslie.- said:
Insert Clever Quip About Pregnancy and/or Baby Girls Here
88. Adam said:
Ta da!
Best of luck.
89. bushra said:
oh wow! i love my nieces to pieces, hey you get to dress her up!
90. christine said:
Congratulations!!! :`)
91. tomcosgrave said:
Congrats all around!
I think you should call her Heather. Just to mess with people :-)
92. Livingston said:
Too many rice krispie treats, you know, sugar and spice....next time feed her Taco Bell Jon. Kidding...pretty crazy feelings huh. Wish you all the best. Watch Bill Cosby "Himself". Good bit on baby girls...
93. Livingston said:
Oh...one more thing. It's officially past early September Blurbogenius. Looking forward to your triumphant return. All the best.
94. Derbs said:
Oh congrats! Girls are waaaaay more fun to shop for and dress up. Trust me I have one of each and it's so depressing shopping for boys!!!
95. susu said:
Congratulations. You could've done the meanest thing ever and just put up the picture without telling what it is, I'm sure dozens and gazillions of people (like me) would've spent hours guessing what it could be.
96. Kelli said:
That's wonderful! Congratulations to you both! Girls are fun! I know, I've got two of them.
97. Anya said:
Watch out world. Here's to shitty diapers, 2 hours of sleep and constantly smelling like vomit and diaper creme! Cheers!
98. Rob W said:
Wow... when I asked for comments, I never realized I'd have to be "no. 98". Wow. Congratulations!
99. Roisin said:
Congratulations. :)
100. MBM said:
Congratulations to you both !!!!
Thats just wonderful news
101. Kelly said:
Yep. My new girl is a blast. Yay for you and yay that things are going well.
102. Feelafel said:
Great to see (or, technically, hear, or more technically, read, so really, I guess we're back to "see" again) that your unborn spawn is doing well. Also, great to see what now has to be the absolute youngest kiddie pr0n ever posted to the 'net.
103. Selfish Monkey said:
Just remember, the first few weeks it is cute when the baby poops.
Then it gets a smell and you are rock, paper, scissoring for who gets to stay on the couch.
104. aibee said:
Congratulations on your eenie, weenie doocette. :)
105. y.bee said:
Congratulations woo hoo. I think you should give her a sistah name like Keisha or Ebony. I don't even know why I think that, it just struck me as funny. Congrats!!!! A little doocetta!
106. Kathleen said:
Sure you don't wannna amend the middle name to Bon-Macy's? ;)
107. eyemkent said:
Well, being so far down in the comments really ain't cool, but I have to add my best wishes to you all, and an unasked-for suggestion that you duck outta Utah before she turns 13. No daughter o' Dooce should end up as a sister-wife...
108. holly said:
Awesome!
Name suggestion:Shanaynay.
Its a good sign that you can see a little human in that picture. I'm with Jeni on this one.
109. louisegyrl said:
CONGRATS!!!!!!
110. Staci said:
I know you've heard it a hundred times, but Congratulations!! Babies are fun, even with the spit-up and dirty diapers etc.
111. Karan said:
Yay! Congratulations...and if my girl is any indication of life with a daughter...hold on to your hat!
112. anna jr. said:
WOO-HOO!
i'm so happy for you!
(and for the record, a boy would have been super cool too.)
how about the name olivia?
congratulations to you and your beloved!
113. Beerzie Boy said:
Hey! Now your furniture will be okay, and the pee splashing will be kept to a minimum.
Name: Rayon Marquette
114. New Reader said:
i must admit i wasn't a big fan of blogs at first, but i kept reading yours and now I'm hooked. dooce is the only blog i read regularly, and i SO enjoy the updates and your witty take on life. CONGRATULATIONS Heather,Jon (& Chuck)- that will be one of the smartest, best-loved and happiest babies ever talked about on the Internet!
115. Mojan said:
Comments are consistently pointing to the clothes and the baby shopping, but all I'm thinking is, "Oh God, you're not going to get ANY sleep. Absolutely none."
Congratulations!
116. helenjane said:
My husband wishes you hadn't just made my uterus yearn seventeen times as fervently for a wee one.
I'm so happy for you.
117. John said:
How exciting! We're about 10 weeks away from the arrival of our little girl, who also showed her butt to the ultrasound not too many weeks ago. This was after she spent 10 minutes crossing her legs to try and keep her little secret.
118. Sara said:
Yay! Congrats.
Girl clothes are much cuter, anyways.
119. zak said:
Please Heather... promise us that your daughter will never have spit up. It's vomit or puke.
120. galt said:
can i get a wooHoo!?...wooHoo!
121. galt said:
oh, and of course, congratulations!
122. ~Angel said:
YAAAY! Congratulations!
I'm so happy for you, girls are so fun!
123. Tin Lai said:
Congratulations!!!
I want to wish you the best. I found your site a couple of months ago and have been loving it since especially when I found out you're preggie. I too am having a girl (she's due in November), so I can totally understand what you're going through. Congrats again!! She's going to be a lucky kid.
124. lily said:
oh I finally get to comment! :) i'm so glad your baby is doing good and that everyone is happy, love your site...i bet you were nervous at the ultrasound huh? i had to pee really bad right in the middle of it cause they said drink alot of water before you come in here lol
125. Ivonne said:
Hey! Congrats. Though, I don't see a baby in the picture. Or rather, I don't see the part that lets us all know it's a girl! I have ZERO maternal instincts. None whatsoever. Would someone be so kind as to hint at what part I'm supposed to be looking at so I know it's a girl?
126. Ben Up the Tree said:
Is your daughter even going to know what the internet is? I think we're dating ourselves. She's probably going to say something to the effect of "God mom, you're so 2003!"
Brrrr... It gives me chills just thinking about it. Congrats.
127. Heather S. said:
You can dress her frilly things as a munchkin, then give her Legos later. Every girl needs Legos.
Congrats.
128. êddiê said:
contrats!!
129. LARRY ZIEGLER said:
Fawnzella is a she!!! I hope this future she-devil makes Mormans squirm
130. Jason said:
Just had a girl 09/06/2003. Well, my wife just had her. Girls rule!
131. Heather #2 said:
Ivonne, click on the pic.
132. angel said:
I'm so pleased for you! Here's hoping little Fawnzelle is healthy, wealthy, and wise.
133. Feisty Girl said:
Love the name..love the picture even more.
134. Sara said:
I'm sure she'll be fine. I mean, look at how I turned out, after being read all those nursery rhymes about death and sex and violence... Ok well a sociopathic lesbian with a fondness for showtunes... But hey, that's cool, right?
135. eddeaux said:
Wow- Parentals you will be-it's wonderful and deliciously frightening at the same time... i can't wait to see this little cutie patootie!
136. Lisa said:
Woo hoo! The kid's in for the ride of her life, as are the two of you (and Chuck, as well!)
Congratulations!!!!
137. Brandi said:
Spoil her lots!!!
www.poshtots.com where was this place when I was a kid?
138. catapax said:
has anyone commented on the fact that her middle name means "cheap" in french?
tres classy ...
139. elyse said:
congratulations!
keep filling the world with most excellent people just like yourself.
140. kath said:
Ah, congratulations to you and Jon! The great thing about those adorable little girl clothes, is that you can blame it on her -- "She just won't wear anything but pink!"
OO, "doocette" -- that's a lovely name, too...
141. absolutdi said:
I can't even begin to explain the story of how I stumbled upon this website a few months back. I've spent a great deal of time checking out this site when I should have been studying o-chem and bacterial diversity. Thank you so much for the moments of procrastination that reading your posts have given me. It's pretty sweet to make a first post on such a special occasion. Here's a big CONGRATS from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale. Girls so freakin' rule!
142. justjack said:
Congrats! I'm writing her in as my write-in choice for California governor on October 7! Who cares if she doesn't make the 18-year old three-drink minimum. It's a free country! Vote early and often! FAWNZELLE for le governor!
Jack
143. Taylor said:
Did someone say holy freaking crap? How appropriate.
144. Amanda said:
Congrats! That is so wonderful..girls are so sweet..
145. peggy said:
La Doochea!
Pretty in pink, pretty in anything.
Blessings on the teeny herself.
146. Rori said:
Congratulations!
147. Chris said:
Mr. and Mrs. Blurb ... Regarding approaches to dissuading potential suitors during the dreaded adolescence period, you might be inspired by the eminent philosopher Charles Barkley, who said, regarding young men who come a-courtin, "I'll kill the first one and the word will get out." It's never too early to start planning.
148. Cassie said:
Wow! Congratulations both Heather and Jon! How exciting! Hope you two have a great time picking out names, clothes, etc... How very neat! :o)
149. tiff said:
wow
149th comment? you're a phenomenon, girl!
and oh yes, congratulations on your wonderful news. :-)