One trick the dog taught himself
A few months ago we had a couple lines in our sprinkler system replaced at the same time that we forced a family of tarantulas to relocate to someplace other than NEAR ME. We paid good money for the new sprinklers, but recently we noticed that they have been watering the face of the house instead of the yard. Jon has spent several hours in the last week trying to fix the problem, and one afternoon as he was bending over the valve box one of the knobs snapped off and a gust of water shot up straight into his face. A similar gust of obscenities then exploded out of his mouth, down from the black spot in his brain that had rotted out from watching a single episode of "Access Hollywood."
Yesterday while Jon was doing some final adjustments, Chuck ran back and forth between sprinklers trying to stop them with his mouth. We've caught this struggle before on camera, but yesterday was this first time we got in on video. What you won't hear is Leta screaming in the background because she thinks Chuck is hurting the water, and me trying to explain that water doesn't have nerve-endings, so it probably doesn't feel a thing, but that's awful cute of you to care like that, Sugar Booger.
Launch video.
(We're trying out something new this week with the video because the file is so big [8.3 MB]. It's only available in quicktime because we haven't figured out how to get flash files to work with the new video hosting service. If you don't have the latest version of Quicktime installed, you can download it here.)
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Heather talks about Valentine's Day on today's Momversation.
- I know zero about sports, but my entire heart is screaming, "Go Saints! Go Saints!" I am a stereotypical woman. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, JON!
- Marlo has a tooth! So says the blood that she drew when she grabbed my hand and tried to gnaw off my thumb!
- Leta won't eat her birthday cake. I guess we should have made it out of chicken nuggets and iced it with refried beans.
1. napangel said:
Your link to the video is missing. Can't wait to see it!
2. samantha w. said:
ha! that's hilarious....although i'm not certain if he's trying to stop the water so much as he seems to want to drink it.
i also appreciate the ever evolving video editing skills. :)
3. Heather said:
I always knew Chuck was a rock star.
4. cate said:
You put his collar on correctly!!
I love the ending credits!!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!!
More exclamation points!!!!!
5. Alexandria said:
*big silly grin*
One of my black labs does the Same Exact Thing to anything that sprays water.
The other one hides from anything that sprays water.
6. GEORGE! said:
Wolfmother is so hip and cool these days even though they sound like 80s rock.
I knew chuck was true indie/emo kid. Whatever the hell my friends categorize themselves as.
7. Kerri said:
Amusement! My dog tries to eat the air that comes out of the computer's fan.. hehe.
8. jolie said:
I see a link between chuck's activities and the sprinklers suddenly deciding to water the house rather than the lawn.
and lordie, I know I've said it before but WOMAN THAT MAKER'S MARK SEAL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE MAKES ME WANT TO ROLL YOU UP IN A WONTON WRAPPER AND DIP YOU IN A LOVELY DUMPLING SAUCE.
9. JennJenn said:
Sugar Booger!
Still laughing....still
booger...
10. Tracy aka Fuzzball said:
That was absolutely fantastic. I loved the credits!!! AHAHAHAHA
11. IQpierce said:
Brilliant credits! Love the new improved production quality. :)
12. NuttyDutty said:
I feel so much better knowing my dog isn't completely insane! Ozzy, our 6 month old black lab from hell...attacks the sprinkler heads too.
He'll get his face an inch from where the water is spraying out and start barking at it....while drowning himself!
Once he realizes that he needs air, he jumps back and attacks the next sprinkler head.
Our 2 year old daughter only freaks out when she's trapped between him and the sprinkler head!
13. rockr girl said:
you have made me love you even more than ever.
and i didn't know that it was fully possible until this very moment.
forever, and ever. amen.
14. Vaguely Urban said:
My dad's dog would provide similar amusement whenever I'd crank up the garden hose.
In contrast to Chuck's sneak attack from behind, she would run directly at the hose, picking up the stream 30 feet away and chasing it down to the source.
Good times!
15. Sun_Spot_Baby said:
Chuck is "da dog!" Makes me yearn for a dog, but my two cats may not agree.....
16. Amy Mingo said:
Maybe Leta was worried the water would hurt Chuck?
17. tigerlily said:
I literally laughed out loud when the end credits came up. That video was awesome. Definitely wasn't expecting it to be so edited/fancified.
Now I want McDonald's fries. Damn you woman!
18. jes said:
That reminded me of one thing: when Chuck first saw himself in the mirror, and was all, "What? Huh? What are you doing in there? Who are you?" And then I bet he snarled a bit, just to show his reflection who's boss.
Except this time, it was with a sprinkler head and a sharp spray of water.
Chuck: The Protector.
19. rivetergirl said:
Mmm ... burger with fries.
20. Laurie said:
That is hysterical!! Go Chuck!
If you have Flash 8 you can use the Flash Encoder to convert the .mov file to a .flv and then export as a .swf file.
21. CrankMama said:
80s rock is back! Love the music.
22. Lala said:
so he's like, ummm, pressure washing his teeth right?
23. chollyson said:
Excellent choice of song.
Chuck, I appreciate your ill-advised determination. Never give up, Chuck, never give up.
24. Candace said:
I kinda wish we could have heard Leta screaming about the water-hurting.
I never knew Chuck could dance.
25. mania72 said:
Chuck's own personal WaterPik! Lucky pup.
26. shredbettie said:
Mania72 beat me to my punchline.
27. ali said:
ha. i can't hear the words sugar booger and not think:
"Lelaina. pierce. is there a lelaina pierce."
"uh, yeah."
ha ha ha ha ha.
28. Mine said:
you is very funny lady and your daug is a little (lot) crazy xx
29. Mary said:
I heart Chuck. That's all.
30. J Niel said:
Nice music, but was I alone in hoping to hear Leta?
31. Gooseberried said:
Awww, I want a doggie! I wonder how I can go about sneaking one into my 12 x 12 dorm room to live with me. Hmmmm...
32. Meretrice said:
Wow, Chuck is hard-core. Maybe if you toned down the background music, he'd calm down when you are watering the lawn. Maybe.
33. Denise said:
hahahha! the credits were my favorite part :)
34. kabuna ashinta said:
you guys are fukin funny.
35. M@ said:
Priceless!
perhaps, for Leta's sake, it should be prefaced with "no water was hurt in the making of this video"...
36. uhhtack said:
in fourth grade my best friend and i did everything together, including trips to the bathroom, i mean girls still do that but at her parents house it was like a separate room from the sink and tub and what not so i'd go in there while she pooped or peed and i didn't know what a bidet was and neither did she, so as she was pooping i turned it on and soapy butt cleaning water sprayed into my face... your entry reminded me of that lovely memory.
37. CompletelyWorthlessBum said:
LOL. I'm glad that you remembered to credit "Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" for the green grass, because so many people forget to do that.
38. cluverc said:
Oh, what perfect comic relief from my twittering on about European Union accountability and constitutional reform. I am sure my students would be much more amused if I served up European democracy with a nice sideorder of Congresssman Chuck on Friday..that's one way of keeping an electorate happy.
Love the titles and credits. Inspired by a mastiff video you shared with us recently?
Thanks so much for all the laughs, Armstrongs!
39. anneelizmary said:
Video worked beautifully, never slowed down to keep downloading--it stayed ahead of itself.
Ah, Chuck. Another of your glory days.
40. Amanda B. said:
The thing that the sprinkler is doing to his mouth reminds me of when AnnaBelle sticks her head out of the car window as we're going 50mph down the road- flappa flappaflappaflappa...
George- first clogs, and now this. You don't KNOW rock until you can recite all of the lyrics to "Back in Black".
Amen.
41. OneBabyMama said:
Un-fucking-believeable! You made a music video!!! I can't even tell you how this made my night.
I am so glad you did credits too--I was all like "who sings this song because it rocks out!" So thank you.
I want a cheeseburger now.
42. Monica said:
I don't know what I like more Chuck eating water or your credits... Sugar Booger? I swear to god, you have to copywrite some of that stuff and put it on a T-Shirt and then makes millons selling it! (wait, I think I just gave myself an idea!!!)
43. angela marie said:
I swear it looks like Chuck is giving the finger to the sprinkler head about halfway thru that video. I KNOW IT.
44. mdstblz said:
While you are getting yourself a burger with fries, and Leta screams for her Twizzler... I am forced to watch the video over and over and over... because, it appears, that my son wants to learn how to chomp at water... and I don't get fries with that!
45. raspberry queen said:
Sooo totally awesome.
46. Suebob Davis said:
Ah the corrected collar. Now we can all relax.
47. RzDrms said:
one trick, one word: *youtube* (i personally just wanna see how many hits you get on it...too friggin' hilarious, heather)
48. RzDrms said:
p.s. i hope the space invaders collar wasn't hurt in the making of this video. do you know what that would do to all us 70s kids?!
49. bluemorpho said:
Thank you ever so kindly for putting who did the song in the credits. It saved me from commenting simply to ask.
Good song.
50. Bess said:
Love the soundtrack! I wouldn't have guessed that as the perfect song to bite sprinklers to, but really, you nailed it.
51. Liv said:
The best is how the water jet poofs his cheek out, haha! dogs. the world is so much lighter with them in it.
52. Megan said:
Rawk.
53. Tiggerlane said:
Once again, I'm having Chuck-gasms!! AWESOME video!
And I'm with angela marie --- he's totally giving the sprinkler the "finger" with his raised paw. Very close-up, with the claw extended for extra effect.
Love your credits - doocerific!
With.....fries.
54. Jason said:
That is a neat trick, but I am actually the worlds best dog trainer, I taught my wonderful Doberman to Faux pee
55. Karen Rani said:
Chuck is such a bad ass. Ruffy does the exact same thing. But the best about this whole thing was us not hearing you explain that water does not have nerve endings. That's something Daren would do.
56. testkat said:
Awesome. With his good looks and his determination, nothing will stop him. That is, until you turn the water off.
57. onegirlmanyideas said:
duuude. chuck totally put the towel in the toilet. he was messing with the sprinklers one day when you guys were gone, then he was toweling off so you wouldn't notice, then he heard the car pull up and he totally flushed it to get rid of the evidence. man, that dog is sneaky.
58. Carol said:
It warms my heart that there is something geeky that you and Jon can't figure out. It makes me feel much less inadequate!
59. Bob Masingale said:
Cool ... an automaton 'dog walker.' Turn on the sprinklers, let the dog loose for 10 minutes, turn off the sprinklers. Doesn't get much easier than that.
Heather ... I hope you don't mind, but I've added your blog to my list of Favorite Blogs on my site. (I just launched my blog last weekend ... and, actually, I'll be posting my next entry tonight.)
You can check it out here if you like.
http://www.bobbarama.com/
Your blog rocks. Big time.
60. Gopher said:
Loved the theme music. Chuck is one special dog...er...ex congressman.
How were the fries??? I miss fries.
61. mrsjennylynn said:
Love it, espeically the credits.
62. Mary Craig said:
In the realm of crazy assed things a dog could do, this is actually pretty tame. I used to know a dog who would try to bite the flame on candles. It would go like this: Bite, jump, yelp. Every time. (I will admit with some shame that it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen. I am also willing to admit that cannibis may have been involved. It was a long time ago and I'm a better person now. Really.)
I also knew a dog who would literally chase parked cars.
So, really, Chuck seems pretty reasonable.
63. Nadine - Healthifica.com said:
Hahaha...
Many gets tarantula attacks now...
Or, should I say, the tarantula gets a dog attack...
64. Chantel said:
Hysterical.
But the song is the best.
My kids will totally think I'm cool after I play this for them.
65. talullah said:
I *love* your dog! Thanks for sharing this awesome video.
66. shannwa said:
What a great video, guys. LOVED the credits at the end. Chuck cracks me up. I would have loved to have heard Leta yelling about the water hurting chuck, but the music was perfect!! I also want fries, now!! I agree with the poster who thinks that you guys need to put these videos on UTube.
67. goddesschristine said:
*snort*
seriously, Chuck makes me want to burst into flames with love.
68. goldengraham said:
I love wolf mother! My bro made a video for me with that same song.
69. Jim said:
He was taught that, Not taught himself!
70. Kungfukitten said:
I'm quite happy to see that you're keeping your dog hydrated in this hot weather. What was really funny is my cat was asleep next to me and when the music blared on he rolled over and watched the entire video. When it was over, I looked at him and he just rolled his eyes as if to say: "Humph, dogs." and went back to sleep. I loved the credit at the end. Seriously, what don't we have Prozac to thank for?
71. kim from germany said:
LOVE the video. so how were the burgers and fries?
and is the water okay? :)
72. MarathonGirlJess said:
I agree with the You Tube guy above for the following reasons:
1 - for selfish reasons - I haven't updated to OS X version 10.3 because my iBook is ancient and I'm saving up for the new MacBook Pro (which I will get when 10.4 is out next spring), so I can't get the Quicktime update that will enable me to see the video. I can get audio, but no water-eating Chuck goodness.
2 - I, too, am curious about the # of hits you get.
3 - I bet you'd drive traffic back from You Tube to dooce.com and boost your ad revenue even higher, thus ensuring more blurbodoocery financial security.
73. deannie said:
My daughter Lizbet and I watched and laughed. Those ending credits!! Loved it.
We both agreed it would have been just hilarious to have Leta's voice screaming at Chuck...
hugs,
74. RzDrms said:
MarathonGirlJess: i'm a girl; i'm not a guy.
75. Cassie said:
I wish I could figure out why quicktime never works on my computer. I'll keep fighting with it though!
I will never understand animals' war with the sprinklers. But it will always be funny :-)
76. Kathleen said:
I love this! Dogs are funny! And LEta is funny for caring so much about the water.
I call my kids Sugar Booger, too!
77. Ranger said:
What would Cesar Millan say?
78. geeky said:
omg our dog does THE SAME THING!
79. Luca said:
~grin~ My little boy woke up and wandered in while the video was playing; he was mesmerised and asked me to play it two more times. I've got to say, though, the credits are my favorite bit. :)
80. MLav said:
I bet that chuck's oral hygiene is spectacular.
100% plaque free.
The cleanest dog mouth west of the mississippi!
81. dunderfunk said:
I have found that sprinklers are perfect for drowning my mother-in-law's manic ill-tempered little Lakeland Terrier, purchased for $4,000 as a status symbol, and then promptly "not trained."
dunderfunk.
82. lildivas said:
absolutely hilarious from the star of the show to the credits. Brilliant :)
83. kendall said:
Wolfmother must be so proud.
84. Culotte Folle said:
Yes! Sugar Booger! From the best movie ever, Reality Bites.
(Maybe not the best movie ever? But pretty funny nonetheless.)
85. Alotta Errata said:
When she was younger our dog would hop into the baby pool while we were trying to fill it and attack the end of the hose.
Keep up the good work, Chuck!
86. thejoyof said:
I tried to download Quicktime and then my laptop crashed. Lost everything :(
Still want to see the video but am scared to download on my p.c. What's a Chuck-o-holic to do?
87. Genny2118 said:
It looks like his collar is on the right way this time. Did you give in and fix it for him? ;)
88. Mark7r0n said:
Awesome video editing. Having played with video editing before I know it can be sanity eroding. Definitely something that requires patients-bolstering substances. Also, that buffered super-duper fast for 8.3 jeezles and I know it was not due to my internet here at work since it is consistently second-rate speed.
89. bobbarama said:
Oh, wow. You've invented an automaton dog walker. Turn on sprinklers, release dog, wait 15 minutes, turn off sprinklers.
Chuck totally rocks.
90. Mark7r0n said:
Awesome video editing. Having played with video editing before I know it can be sanity eroding. Definitely something that requires patients-bolstering substances. Also, that buffered super-duper fast for 8.3 jeezles and I know it was not due to my internet here at work since it is consistently eleventh-rate speed (512Mbit down? seriously, who even sells that anymore?)
91. Mark7r0n said:
I'm a jackass sorry.
92. Erika said:
Have you guys ever thought of putting these on YouTube, so those of us with Big Brother can watch them? I feel like a kid, "I wanna see, I wanna see!"
93. 6degrees said:
Apparently you haven't been able to hear me, the screamer who screams incessantly with the screaming... I wants me an Chuck! You really should consider breeding... at the very least, can you mail me a T-cell or two?
And I lovelovelove the fast motion segment of the piece... Again, the other gophers in the cube farm popped their little heads above the cubes, since the titterer who tittered a ton with the tittering (me) tittered loud enough for all to hear... then again, this place is so quiet you could hear a fly fart down the hall, around the corner, through the skyway into the next building...
94. Tim in Flyover Country said:
I love the credits!! Especially the line about the screaming child and the twizzler! Does Chuck have "Representation" yet? That boy is going places!!!He should have been Katie Couric's replacement on the "Today" show....
95. deejay said:
The picture of Chuck in the masthead reminds me of the little, old Polish grandmas who would hang out at the Bingo Hall at St. Rose in their babushkas. Is Chuck also wearing rolled down, flesh-colored support hose? He really rocks the look! For a masthead comment may I suggest "Barney! Not on MY watch".
96. Mr. Mattlandia Himself said:
OMG. Dogbrilliant, dogbrilliant, dogbrilliant.
97. Gretchie said:
Awesome! I don't know what you did with the video, but that's the first time I was able to play one of your vids at work. Granted, we recently got new 'puters, so maybe that's it. I dunno. Loved the Chuckage, tho.
98. Dulcenea said:
Haha. I love the credits at the end!
99. emery jo said:
mmmm.....sugar boogers.
100. OutOfTune said:
"we forced a family of tarantulas to relocate to someplace other than NEAR ME. "
"The next time I want to scare the shit out of Jon I’m going to sneak up behind him while he’s changing clothes, poke my finger in his butt and say, “Grapefruit NEAR ME!â€"
*giggles to herself*
101. stephanie said:
oh great, now i'm gonna have to watch this at home when i'm behind my superior computer with programs that work.
and at this time my pug will freak it into overdrive and i won't be able to hear the supposed awesome song over all the barking made bearable by the cutest head tilting ever.
102. Cinelady said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh man, you have no idea how much I needed that laugh today!
103. Laura S said:
The Catholic church near our house has a busted sprinkler like this one.
Whenever the sprinklers are on during our daily walk, our dog will begin to growl and bark and eventually attack the very water that is destined to bless the lawn and all the little Catholic children.
I'm not sure if he's against religion in general or if his greater goal is self baptism by sprinkler head. I usually hang around and let him play for awhile. After all, there is so little holy water left on earth. ;)
Good ol' Chuck, thanks for the laugh!
104. danielle said:
i think you guys should win an oscar for the editing.
oh, and best. credits. ever.