And the saga of Ed continues
About a month ago I got a call from my doctor to notify me that the biopsy had come back on the skin cancer she had removed from my arm. Maybe I should take a step back here and explain a few things because this topic always seems to have a polarizing effect on some readers. There's that one camp who thinks that the only reason I talk about the fact that I have skin cancer is because I am trying to stir up drama. They are angry people, or at least I think they are because the email they send me is written as if the SHIFT key is broken and permanently set in the ON position from hitting it with their foreheads so many times. I'm sure they are lovely people once they've taken a long walk around the block to cool off, or once someone has duct-taped their faces shut.
Then there are those very concerned people who have sent me their condolences and fully expect me to die within the hour. There are moments when I start to get a grip about the whole thing and then someone will send me an email to tell me a story about an entire town in Iowa that died from skin cancer. Someone's father or brother or neighbor's cousin's hairdresser died FROM THE EXACT SKIN CANCER I HAVE, and they want to urge me to get my will in order. These people mean well, I know that and I am very thankful for their concern, but they might want to reconsider the strategy of trying to make someone feel better by suggesting luxurious casket fabrics.
I think it's pretty important to talk about my experience with this especially since I just found out that my best friend from high school was diagnosed recently with a squamous cell carcinoma, the second most common skin cancer after basal cell carcinoma, the one that was found on my arm. I think this points to the fact that one, there is a giant hole in the ozone right over Memphis, Tennessee, and two, my generation hasn't ever taken the threat of skin cancer very seriously. I think we should all be knocked upside the head with a tub of SPF 50. And then forced to scroll through every image that Google returns for a search on the word sunburn. (ALERT: before you click on that link you should be aware that some of those images are not safe for work, and curiously, not one image of George Hamilton turned up within the first 20 pages, I CHECKED.)
Turns out that my doctor didn't remove all of the cancerous cells on my arm. The biopsy showed that the margins of the excised skin were not normal. This made me sad because the scar had healed really well, better than I thought it would, and here I was being told that I didn't get to keep it.
My doctor set up an appointment for me with a local dermatologist, and last Wednesday I drove down to his office to have the cancer removed once again. The only way I can possibly begin to describe this man and his office is to compare it to a graphic science fiction/horror comic book, it was that unsettling. He began by telling me that the incision that my doctor had made on my arm could have made the problem much worse, because by cutting into the cancer like she did she could have deposited diseased cells into the deeper layers of skin. When I reminded him that he was the one who had told her to just go ahead and cut it out herself, he said, "Really? That was pretty stupid of me, wasn't it?" EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT WHILE I PICK OUT AN EXPENSIVE FABRIC FOR MY CASKET.
After he performed a quick visual assessment of my arm and other areas of my body -- when he saw the troubling mole on my back he said I wasn't allowed to leave his office until he had taken it off -- he walked me into the operating room. It was a giant expanse of white walls and white floor, and in the very center of the room sat a giant space-age chair. I stopped at the door and told him I wasn't going any further until he promised that he wasn't going to knock me out, strap me to that chair, and suck my brain out of my nose, because all arrows were pointing in that direction.
His pleasant bedside manner continued when, after I had taken my place in the chair, he walked over and started shooting local anesthesia into my arm without telling me what he was doing. When I asked if maybe he could try being a tad less barbaric, he suggested that if I was so concerned about my feelings I should just hire a psychiatrist. Charming! Somehow this led into a discussion about what I do for a living, and I suddenly realized that I have a hard time telling people that I am a writer. I'm always saying that I have a website, or that I write things online, but I'm reluctant to use the word WRITER because when it comes out of my mouth it sounds like I'm pleading with someone to PLEASE TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. It also makes me sound like I'm fond of wearing fedoras and plaid capes. And beige orthopedic shoes that smell like cabbage.
Someone once dismissed my career by saying, "I know that's what you do, you write about your feelings, but..." And when he said feelings he made it sound as if that word were interchangeable with ear wax or chlamydia. I think from now on when anyone asks me what I do for a living my answer is going to be, "I write about my feelings," and when I get to that last word I'm going to claw at my chest as an indication that RIGHT HERE IS WHERE I STORE THE MAGIC. And I'll keep track of how long it takes people to throw up.
Once my arm was numb the dermatologist used a method called curettage and electrodesiccation, two very big words for scraping and burning. I tried not to watch what he was doing, but at one point the flame at the end of the soldering iron he was using to cook my arm temporarily blinded me. I'm not sure exactly how he removed the mole on my back, it happened so fast, but the scar leads me to believe that maybe he zapped it off with his evil laser eyes. The entire procedure was over in less than seven minutes, and after he told me how much he was going to charge me, I calculated that this man makes 100 DOLLARS PER MINUTE. This man may just have a better job than Oprah.
I'm posting links here to pictures of the new scar, but I'm putting them in pop-up windows so that if you don't want to be confronted with the gore you don't have to be. The new wound is indeed very grody, much worse than the first one, and makes a profound case against future sun-bathing:
Close-up of the new wound on my arm.
Close-up of the wound on my back.
I know some of you are going to criticize me for not going to the dermatologist in the first place, and of course I know now that I should have taken that course of action, but I'm sort of bound by what my insurance is willing to think about covering, what we have in the bank account, and possible long-term payment options. I trusted my doctor when she told me she could remove it herself, and I didn't really have the option of saying, you know what, thanks, but I'd like a second opinion first. Sometimes those second opinions are prohibitively expensive because the insurance company has made it pretty clear that I'm on my own. I tried to make the best decision with the options I had.
Let me make it clear, though, that I know I'm lucky that I have any options at all. I'm lucky that I have access to treatment and that this doesn't have to turn into something much worse. And the good news is that the biopsy came back for the mole that I had removed, and it was totally benign.
BEE. NINE.
That noise you hear? That's me kicking skin cancer in the nuts.
Watch Heather discuss her feelings about vaccinations on this episode of Momversation.
1. JeniG said:
::Applying layers and layers of sunblock::
Congrats, Heather. Way to kick it in the nuts good!
2. Zoot said:
I went to the beach soon after you first told us about Ed. My goal for myself and my entire family was to come home with zero difference in skin color. We succeeded, although we spent nine-gagillion dollars on sunscreen. And it's because of Ed. So, thanks.
3. AndreaCG said:
Ouch..I felt the kick from here! Ah well, cancer deserves it...biotch!
Congrats Heather!
4. leahpeah said:
xoxoxoxoxo
5. Beth said:
Yeah nuts!
The one on your back looks like it was done with a punch (think of it like a cookie cutter taking a sweet niblet out of your skin).
Thanks for being a sunscreen and skin cancer advocate. Those ninnies who think you're trying to stir up drama have probably never seen the sun because they're too busy downloading rabbit porn in their windowless basements.
Doctor Beth
6. Blue. said:
Heather, I say that if people don't want to read what you write about because they think you're self-absorbed or going to die, well, then, they just shouldn't read Dooce. Frankly, I like your Ed updates, and you can be damned sure that I made my husband read the first Ed update because he's a sun-baby. Keep up the nut-kicking!
7. kelbutt said:
Hey, I've had two of those removed, too. One was on MY HEAD. In my hair. Above my ear. Where I had to get a shot to numb it before all the scraping and burning. Now I have a bald spot the size of a pencil eraser, and a scar the same size and shape on my back to make a matching set. And I feel lucky to have 'em. Further, I feel lucky that you have a matching set, too. And glad your luck outmatched your doc's boneheadedness...
8. Elise Foreman Carter said:
As much as people like to hate, or like to give the worst-case scenario but with good intentions, I will say this:
You write on this website, every day, for us. I mean, I know you write it for you, too - or I assume you do, because I think that's why most writers write. But you post it on the internet for us. You think about us when you write it, you consider what we would like to hear, you decide what you would like us to know.
So for that, thanks! We like it. Even the well-intentioned naysayers - they like it too. I'm sure of it.
I'm happy I get to know about your experience thus far with the cancer. Hopefully we won't hear much more about it, because it will be gone. But either way, thanks for writing about it.
9. Shiz Shiz said:
"Kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight."
- Bruce Cockburn
10. gin said:
Maybe you should kick the evil skin doctor in the nuts, just make sure you do it off the billing times.
11. sarae said:
Congrats.
Now, I think I might never go into the sun again.
12. Thoughtfloss said:
I just wanted to mention that sun damage avoidance is so much easier now with those spray-on sunblocks. Just be advised never to spray them on your nude husband's scrotum while nude sunbathing, unless you want to see a grown man weep.
13. Ani said:
Your experience inspired me to finally get off my ass and get some of my own moles checked. Two of them were removed, though they turned out to be benign. My Dr was a very aloof jerk too. Maybe they teach that at Derm school?
You also inspired me to make sure I slather myself and my kids with sunscreen to keep them from having holes cut into them.
Rock on, Heather. And to the naysayers...bugger off.
14. NuttyDutty said:
There is a spot in the middle of my back that is currently twinging and making my stomach curl....that would be the mole I have in the EXACT same spot as your BEE.NINE. mole.
I work in the medical field and have seen GROSS stuff, but for some reason your photos of the enlarged ED have disturbed me. Looks like someone took the end of a cigar and put it out on your arm!
For years I've been wanting to have the mole on my back removed, but at the same time afraid of them cutting it off!!!
This coming from a person that was totally cool with changing dressings on a burn victim....
15. uppahand said:
Congrats! So happy for you!
16. Audrey said:
Congrats on kicking that cancer in the nuts! Hopefully your new scars will be even better than the first one.
17. Laura Horacefield said:
I know they are probably not the best things in the world but I was expecting much more gore. Not bad and they look like they will heal well.
I hope it all goes away soon so you don't have to be strapped in scary white chairs anymore.
18. sarah g said:
YAY!! Congrats. And even if someone doesnt want to hear about it, too bad. Your blog, your life, your scary news! Cause cancer is scary stuff.
so yay for you! way to show it who is the boss!
as for the bedside manner.. grr! I had to go in for a followup after my wisdom tooth removal because they lost some of the tooth into my sinus..blah blah. and totally rude and laughed at me, yes laughed at my questions, when i was at the followup!
Wish i could kick his butt!
19. marcilambert said:
do you know why i had to click on all those scar photos? because i live in memphis and have two little girls.
who will never go outside during daylight hours again.
sorry about dr. frankenstein. doctors who wield knives aren't known for great compassion.
20. msadventures said:
*le sigh*
At the risk of sounding like a naysayer, or perhaps self-centered, the bad thing about you having such a popular website is that by the time I get to make a comment, everyone else has already said the stuff that I'd like to say and I just get to sit here and sound like an echo.
ANYWAY. Very happy to see that the skin cancer has gone bye-bye. And in trying to be a better person, I hope nothing evil befalls the stupid arse dermatologist for his idiotic behavior. However, if something highly annoying were to befall him, I might secretly rejoice on your behalf.
In short, erm, well done?! :D
21. Eeyore_784 said:
Great post. Sounds like we have the same Dr. Mine told me that my next option was *points his gun hand to his head and pulled the trigger* that was 2 wks ago. (caused a bad chemical depression and now I am fighting suicide daily) Jerks. Feel Better and hope it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks like it does.
Heather, Can I post a link here for Kittens and Puppies that are in my rescue here in KS?
www.catster.com/?375644
www.dogster.com/?379280
This link here http://community.livejournal.com/petbulls/2293009.html made me think about it as I was getting ready to post. Those people answering that post there don't realize those two have been in rescue for months. I just hope I can get these guys placed. I thought of the pound today because of how sick I have been and that snapped me awake. I won't abandon them but I am drained, miserable and a hi jacker of your post apparently. Guess I feel its ok since I have been here since the start. :oP Again, feel better. I sure am trying to.
22. Joanne Viskup said:
First of all, I am amazed that you are opening up comments on this one considering the wack-jobs that have posted in the past. Wow.
Secondly, OUCH! Looks like a cigarette burn. Poor you! I know you will be getting a lot of well desrved TLC from Jon, Leta and Chuck.
Thirdly, besides kicking cancer in the nuts (Yay!), it would have been nice to kick Dr. Evil there in the nuts too. He deserves it. Sorry you were at the mercy of such an idiot.
23. BREM experience said:
Hearing this account of your experience makes me realise that however shitty our medical system is, with queues and waiting lists, at least I never have to jeopardize my health for money considerations. Well, mostly anyway.
Hope you recover well. Have a beer or some alcohol, it helps. If you can find any in Salt Lake City.
24. Heather said:
Having had a few moles lobbed off myself (luckily no burning or scraping) I'm a big fan of the pastey look. Hope the next dermatologist you see is less of an asshat.
25. jayfid said:
You are a great, entertaining writer. It bugs me that you have to include all these disclaimers for the haters. Go away bothersome haters!
Way to kick it in the nuts!
26. Alanna said:
What is it about dermatologists? I have the world's most profane one, I am convinced. Par example: the first time he met my father, he said, "Hi, I'm Dr. L------. I want to fuck your wife." Granted, this is hilarious to my family, way more hilarious than the apparent torture chamber you visited. In any case, I'm very glad to hear you're all benign, you writer you.
27. April-Lyn said:
Sucks that the doctor didn't get it all on the first try, but hurrah for being Ed-free, and for BEE NINE Ed-lets!
On a different note, I just wrote a long, rambling, written-too-late-at-night-to-be-conscise piece on my own weblog about writing, and how I always feel like a fraud when I refer to myself as a WRITER. I don't want people to think I'm any more pretentious than they already to! The difference is that you actually get paid for it, whereas I just crank out entries and notes and beginings of stories and half-finished poems when free time and motivation allow. Yay for you! :)
28. April-Lyn said:
Sucks that the doctor didn't get it all on the first try, but hurrah for being Ed-free, and for BEE NINE Ed-lets!
On a different note, I just wrote a long, rambling, written-too-late-at-night-to-be-conscise piece on my own weblog about writing, and how I always feel like a fraud when I refer to myself as a WRITER. I don't want people to think I'm any more pretentious than they already to! The difference is that you actually get paid for it, whereas I just crank out entries and notes and beginings of stories and half-finished poems when free time and motivation allow. Yay for you! :)
29. jayfid said:
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! this month's masthead by the way!
30. Helen said:
Isn't the point of writing to be interesting? I don't get the problem some people are having with the 'drama.' Of course it's dramatic, it's skin cancer. You made a very upsetting personal experience hilarious though. By that I mean, some of the things you said in the course of describing what you went through. I have a round scar like I assume your's will be from 'something' my grandfather (Dr.) burned off my chest as a child. I am another one with freckly arms and pale as milk children...always wary.
31. jes said:
OH, GAWD. Heather. The spot on your arm looks precisely like someone took a cargo lighter from a car and thrust it into your precious, tender skin.
32. islaygirl said:
i'm glad the arm is ok, and i have no problem with you discussing it as much and as often as you want. BUT the reason i'm commenting is the writer thing. my ex has a story he tells about this wannabe writer who wrote, like, Tylenol-packaging copy and always introduced herself in this whining sandpaper voice, "I'm a WRIIIIIIter."
I live in fear of that, even tho i am, as my site declares today, 'paid to write stupid stuff.'
really glad the arm & back are ok.
33. Meg said:
Hi Heather,
I really appreciate you sharing the details of your saga...I am 28 years old and as of yesterday, have had 7 moles removed...2 of which have been deemed 'pre-cancerous'. Reading your site prompted me to head back to the dermatologist after a 12-month slacker period...turns out I need 3 more removed...well, 2 more after yesterday's removal. Anyways - as I sit here typing with gross stitches in my arm, it's comforting to know I'm not alone! Keep speaking up - who knows, you might have saved my life (a tad dramatic but could very well be true!). Thanks! :)
34. jes said:
Cargo lighter? Is that what it's called?
You know what I mean. A car cigarette lighter thing.
35. Rob said:
If Thoughtfloss is correct, you don't need to kick skin cancer in the nuts, just spray sunblock on them.
And all the zapping and searing reminds me of Goldfinger:
"No, Mr Basal Cell Carcinoma, I expect you to die..."
Hope your new crater does the job.
36. Cloudy said:
Very John Bender looking scar: "It's about the size of a cigar...Do I stutter?"
37. jutrzenka said:
As of yesterday, I too kicked cancer square in the nuts! The word "benign" never sounded so sweet.
38. jennifer said:
It's really wonderful that you DO share this with others, because skin cancer is much more common than most people realize. By showing your experiences, both good and bad, you're raising awareness.
The haters? They can suck it. Seriously.
Oh, and the doctor who made the completely unprofessional comment, he can suck it too. I wonder if it's possible to report his inappropriate behavior to the insurance company.
39. tksinclair said:
Heather, my mother just went through this with a "spot" (looked like nothing more than a brown age spot) on her face. She had to go back in several times as they took more around the margin. The upside - the Dr.'s don't want to take any more tissue than absolutely necessary. The suck-side - you may end up having to return for more surgery. Maybe they should have told you that huh? My mom has had reconstructive surgery and it looking pretty good under the circumstances. I'm a mess. Now I'm completely paranoid and want every "spot," mole, discoloration, age mark, beauty mark, indentation, etc. burned or scraped off my body immediately. Anyway, you rock and as always tell it like it is. Most of us expect nothing less and nothing more.
40. June said:
It's well known that the doctors who get sued are the ones who talk down to patients and give the impression that they are deceitful or dishonest, no matter what their skill level. Likewise, the ones that are trusted by their patients are rarely ever sued, even if they make pretty egregious mistakes.
That said, I'm glad this cancer bit is being take care of once and for all, even if the excision was performed by an asshat. Hope no more skin things develop! And no bad can possibly come out of raising awareness of skin cancer, so pbththtp to the people who try to dictate what you should write about.
One last thing - I had electrodessication performed on my cervix some years ago (sans anesthetic agents!) to stop a would-be cancer. If you think your skin looks bad, imagine how I felt when I looked down the table and saw wisps of smoke coming out of my craw...
41. Samantha said:
first:
Oh Lord--look at your arm! I'm so sorry but so glad it was done.
second:
"take that skin cancer--you can't scare me in your various forms" SPF 50
42. kate gunnison said:
I am really glad to hear that the mole was benign and that you are going to be okay. That's excellent news.
This is not to belittle that awesome news in anyway, but the real reason I am posting my first comment ever is to say that the September masthead is the Best. Masthead. Ever. I think I go to your site approximately 12 times a day just so I can laugh all over again at Chuck and his headgear. Seriously, it's so damned funny and cute and fantastic that I'm begging you to leave it up for more than a month. My best friend and I are in awe of Chuck and his balancing abilities - we cannot get our dogs to perform anything remotely resembling the tricks that Chuck can do. It's really all we can do not to stalk the dog parks of Salt Lake to find him. OK, that sounds a little weird, I promise, we aren't doing that. But I think if we ever saw Chuck, it might be the most exciting celebrity sighting ever.
Anyway, congrats again on the good health news and keep up the good work. My work day would be a barren and empty place without your blog.
43. Wicked H said:
Livestrong Armstrong!!! Sorry, I just had to.
Glad it all turned out well. Bravo for making the rest of us aware. If 1/8 of us listen, you've made a huge difference.
44. heathabee said:
CONGRATS ON THE BENIGN RESULTS!!!! Fabulous news!!! (That called for extra exclamation points, I think!)
You should totally move to Canada. Free health care. FREE! And what health care doesn't pay, insurance does, and the fees are pretty manageable and reasonable. I doubt it would cost upwards of $700 here, to get a mole removed! We've got mountains too! :)
45. Tara said:
"he said, 'Really? That was pretty stupid of me, wasn’t it?' EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT WHILE I PICK OUT AN EXPENSIVE FABRIC FOR MY CASKET."
You made me snort. At work. My coworkers thank you.
Thank you for sharing the whole Ed saga with us. It made me get my moley (moly? mol-ay?) self to the doctor, where I had 2 removed. And as jutrzenka said, "benign" never sounded so sweet.
46. Soapdish said:
So good to here about the Bob not being sickly (I've named the one on your back "Bob". I hope you don't mind).
The minute I saw BEE NINE I thought B9 and couldn't that be a snappy new masthead for October. I mean it could totally suck too...just what flashed through my head.
Hope you get to feeling better and pretend that the jerky doc is cancer. Kick in balls. Repeat as necessary.
47. Amanda B. said:
Oooooh, I smooch your whole cancer-free self.
*and smack dat ass*
48. KellyC said:
I'm so happy your mole came back benign. I just had another one removed as well and it wasn't cancerous this time. Yeah! It really does make you worry about your skin, though. It also makes you muy 60 SPF sunblock a lot;) Kelly
Home of Pass the Torch Tuesday
49. lilysgift said:
Thank you for sharing this with your readers, it's an important topic. I'm 37 and 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Melenoma on my upper left thigh. Talk about a shocker...I thought skin cancer was for old folks in Miami. My mole looked pretty harmless, other than it was almost black and about the size of a pencil eraser (it was smooth too) My Mother noticed it and said I should have it checked, and thank God for her poking around in my business. She probably saved my life. Don't be shy to ask your doctor to look at your moles, it only takes a minute.
Heather, I hope you feel better soon and I'm thrilled that your results were good. I know you hear it all the time, but your blog is a real highlight in my day! Thanks!
50. Rhi said:
The scar from the mole I had removed from my right boob looks just like the scar on your arm. My bra size increased by a cup shortly after I had it removed. I like to think that was holding it back.
51. Lisa Sigler said:
Dear Dooce,
I am so happy for your results. Thanks for sharing about your experience and scaring the shit out of all of us so we will all go to the dermotologist now! hahahahaha.....I need to make my appointment asap. You rock. Hope you heal up quickly!
52. Vaguely Urban said:
B-9, baby!
Sounds like you were very brave. I hope that the follow up did the trick, and heals up nicely.
Also, thanks for spelling grody with a "d". I much prefer that to "grotty" as is used by some.
53. Mo said:
I'm disappointed to note that my concept of the dermatologist apparently using a cigar as an excision tool wasn't an original one.
These entries hit home for me -- I've had a mole on my head for about 15 years, about three inches above my right ear. It totally freaks my wife out, and she continues to insist I get it removed, but of course insurance is a factor (read: I have none). Besides, I'm sure the doctor will want the hair gone before removing the mole, so that rules out times when people are around to blind with a clean-shaven pate.
54. SarahRod said:
Heather- Start taking Vitamin E now to combat the scar tissue. After a biopsy surgery, I took a regimen of Vitamin E tablets on the advice of my fanatical German Mother-In-Law(fanatical about vitamins, not about things Germanic) and I believe it was good advice. My operation scar is nigh invisible to anyone who doesn't already know where to look. Cheers to you!
55. Lolajb said:
Because of you, I now wear a hat EVERY SINGLE TIME I go outside.
Because of you, I now wear sunscreen EVERY SINGLE TIME I go outside.
Because of you, I force both my children to do the same EVERY SINGLE TIME they go outside.
and
Because of you, I nag my husband to do the same EVERY SINGLE TIME he goes outside.
Thanks for taking care of our family too.
I know this sounds like a bad 80s ballad gone wrong, but I honesttogod think of you every time I consider skipping a ProtectMyselfFromtheSun step.
Hope you get the all clear soon.
56. jon deal said:
Coincidentally, I'm going to the dermatologist in a week or so to have "things removed" from my body.
I hope my doc has laser eyes, too. That sounds way cool.
57. dancingnancy said:
for sure, dr. evil zapped off your mole with his LASER BEAM!!!!!!!!!!! good thing he didn't do it with liquid hot magma....
sorry, couldn't help myself! glad it's zapped and benign! way to express your FEELINGS. :) i applaud you.
58. Iusedtobecool said:
I'm just thankful that you share your feelings as a writer! If it weren't for you I would think I was the only parent who maybe wasn't doing the best job possible (and not apologizing for it)...plus, everyone knows doctors are inherently evil (even the nice ones)...Someday I'll share my experiences as a disfellowshipped Jehovah's Witness and then the ones where I was a full time Mary Kay consultant just so we can compare scars...
59. jaime said:
I once had a similar encounter with a sadistic derm Dr. I seem to be one of those people who need a little longer for the novacaine to start working. So I'm all of twelve years old, lying prone on the table as the Dr's scraping suspicious moles off my pale, pale back. And twelve-year-old me starts crying. "I can feel it." "It hurts." And the lovely doctor says, "No it doesn't." As if I ought to buck up, because having my flesh sliced off doesn't hurt too bad, right. I think I don't understand why these insensitive asses are doctors, allegedly interested in healing people, but then there's that $100/minute thing.
60. Pioneer Woman said:
My BCC scar on the back of my neck is now itching, thank you very much. Oh, now it's throbbing.
The only criticism I have about your posting this graphic saga is that when I finish reading these posts, I start visualizing MY casket fabric. I'm just sure, by the last sentence, that I'm a goner.
But it's important. People don't check themselves enough. It's a problem!
I hate tanning booths. Why did I have to grow up in the 80's?
61. Jenn said:
It really sucks that you went with the cheaper option only to have to go with the more expensive option ANYWAY. Those health insurance companies really are bastards. I hope it's taken care of for good.
Did you name the mole on your back, even though it's already gone?
62. MelanieinOrygun said:
Hell, yeah! That's great news. And as far as Mole B-9 goes, it's still better to lop that fucker off and know for sure than to still have it on your back and worry about it.
63. Liza said:
Fuck the bastards that treat you like shit for worrying about having cancer.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hopefully Ed and his compadres cease and desist. Saw the gruesome pics, can't imagine what you're going through. Good luck!
64. Chair said:
Groty, indeed.
I dare you to google LEEP, though, man. You think having hot lazers remove skin from your ARM is groty, how 'bout on your cervix!? Fortunately, I didn't feel a thing. But still.
65. M@ said:
YAY!!!
It kinda looks like someone burned you with a cigarette. That wasn't one of his utensils, was it?
Wait, no... you're not in Missouri.
So the skin cancer is pretty well nut-kicked. Can you do something about this pesky Middle-East crisis? It's a total downer.
66. Chuckles said:
CONGRATULATIONS!!! (I typed that with my forehead).
You are going to be fine, you are young and healthy and you are catching these things now when it is best to do it.
It is earthshaking to think about having it, but once they give you that all clear just take care of your skin and you will be live to be an old lady. :)
(And poop on all the nay-sayers)
67. Amy D. said:
ew, but...yay!
68. Quadius said:
I have a roommate that was a dermatological resident and now is a full-fledged dermatologist in California. Therefore, I know exactly how much they charge.
I have a spot removed on my foot which looked much like the new wound on your arm, but like your back, mine came back benign also.
Good luck fighting that skin cancer bullethole.
69. IQpierce said:
Dooce, what makes you think that you have the right? Here I've come to your blog, because I want to read about your life... and you start talking about this cancer you got? Like I'm supposed to be sympathetic?
How dare you madam. How dare you write about your cancer on your blog that's entirely about your life. Also stop talking about your child, it's boring. And mormonism, it's offensive. And poop, it's gross. Just... stop!
I won't be satisfied until I come to the front page of dooce.com and find absolutely no posts at all. (And then, believe me, you'll be hearing from me about the ads-to-content ratio of your site.)
70. Chuckles said:
BTW: There's a reason they call it PRACTICING medicine. They practiced on my wife for eleven years.
71. Cinelady said:
Sweet! My dad just had some squamous-tastic chunks removed, so I can appreciate the situation. Stay vigilant! :)
72. Courtney said:
Don't worry about the scarring. I had a mole taken off in a similar way, and you can hardly see the spot. I didn't need stitches, either!
When I had my regular doctor remove spots, the scars were always awful! I only get them done at the dermatologist's now because they do a much better job.
Love your blog!
73. I Think You Should said:
Delurking to say that my dad once went in to have a mole on his back removed. The doc (a friend) says, "While I've got you here, I'm going to go ahead and get this one. . .and this one. . .and this one. . ." Forty-two moles later, he was done. That was 15 years ago and my dad is still kicking and cancer free. He also wears SPF 50 all the time.
On the other hand, I have a 28 year old friend who's already had a melanoma removed. Stay vigilant.
74. Kristen from MA said:
congrats, Heather, and best wishes for continued good health.
and let me just say that i'm always grateful for posts with pictures - even grody ones.
p.s. the latest masthead is the best one yet. Chuck rocks the internet!
75. Shalini said:
Thank goodness for BEE NINE. BINGO!!!
76. lawyerish said:
Is it weird that I knew exactly what Jes meant when she said a "cargo lighter"? Hmm.
All I know is that, if they ever determine that freckles are a sign of something bad and must be checked for possible malignance, you and I are both in a heap of trouble.
And that doctor and I would NOT have gotten along. I would have fainted in his chair AND thrown up on him. That'd show him.
77. Emily said:
Insurance companies suck. Health care must be reformed!
I'm so glad your mole was B-9. Rock and roll.
78. bellybuttonbugs said:
Hmmm... Thanks for posting those. That was some wound. I was almost expecting to see maggots crawling out of it a la rotten.com.
Thanks for sharing - I'm taking it as a big reminder. I've had radiotherapy to my forehead and lower temples for a brain tumour and was warned that I should never go out in the sun without a hat/cream because of the increased risk of skin cancer. I don't always follow the advice but will after seeing that.
I don't have that much skin for them to cut away on my forehead and I don't think the bit where they stuck my skull back together would look too great on show. It's gross just thinking about it.
Seriously, I think it is really good of you to share all this. Any form of cancer sucks.
79. Stephanie said:
On Skin Cancer: I am fair-skinned and started going to the derm once a year for a skin cancer check about three years ago. Thankfully, she has never found anything. Until that point, I had no idea you get skin cancer in your 20's or 30's. I did, however, have some pre-cancer spots removed from my cervix, but that is another story for another day.
On Writing: I am also a writer. And when I tell people that I am a writer they're like "Oh, yeah? And how do you make money?" Um...I work in a shitty office (for now), but that is not the point. The point is that people react strangely if you give them your career and your career does not fall under a,b, or c category. People like to hear things that are tangible.
80. Snickrsnack Katie said:
Oh my God. That wound on your arm looks so painful. Here is to hoping it clears up soon, and I am glad to hear that all was bee-nine!
81. MeAhna said:
For some reason I am now wishing for a hamburger pattie wish swiss cheese......
how odd.......(retching)
hahahaha!
82. KLC said:
I feel so demented laughing along while reading this - I know you are dealing with the big C, and sorry to hear it and all. (Doesn't that just scream of sincerity?) But you have such a flare for writing and it really was a funny piece.
83. Meretrice said:
Congrats on the cancer butt-kicking. Hopefully one day science will wasting time on inventing slices of peanut butter and find an infallible cure for cancer.
As for the scars, don't stress about them too much. Just think of them as battle wounds -- visible proof of how hard-core you are. I use the same mental technique for my stretch marks. If someone asks about the scars, you can tell the person that you had a knife-fight with a 6'7 troll named "Ed."
84. Larisa said:
Death to Ed!
And I havent heard the word "grody" in about 20 years!!
85. meringue57 said:
You go girl! Kickin' away at the C-word.
86. worrals said:
Ouch ouch! Forget evil laser eyes - that one on your back has teeth marks round it.
I love your writing - it makes me giggle. I am still smiling at orthopaedic shoes (you found something worse than clogs?).
May your cancer be well and truly gone.
PS My sympathies to June ^^^ (she of the seared cervix)
87. Shooters Station said:
Can I just say once again how much I lurv you're writing. I am NOT laughing at your experience here, but at your re-telling. You crack me up!
And while you are all kickin' cancer-nuts and stuff, you might have considered kicking that dermatoligist in his nuts. Customer service is dead.
88. Margrit McIntosh said:
Hi, just wanted to say that there's a great article on choosing doctors at
http://www.slate.com/id/2143506/
The upshot is, for primary care and diagnosticians (who help you make decisions), trust your instincts.
For surgeons, go with the one that has done that procedure the most.
Quoting now:
"Subjective impression is meaningless when selecting a surgeon. Craft should trump your desire to like them; in fact, it's OK to hate your surgeon. You simply need him to cut and sew very intelligently. So always select the surgeon who has already done the most iterations of whatever procedure you need. Stated in Zagat-ian terms: Which restaurant do you want to go to—the one with the line or the one that sits empty?"
Best wishes! Love, Margrit
89. Amy L. said:
Hey Heather,
Glad to know it all worked out okay. We went through something similar a few years back. My husband had some moles removed - most were benign, but two were squamous and one was melanoma, albeit a very early stage. There's nothing that will make your heart drop into your ass faster than hearing your husband say "the doctor called, and one of the moles was melanoma." But they were able to remove it, no further treatment needed. He goes back every year now for a skin check as he has continued to have squamous cells pop up, something you should do also.
I don't really see posting about a sphincter-tighteningly scary experience as "starting drama," but if it is, this is the kind of drama people should start. I know a ton of people in their thirties with moles they think are "weird" who won't get them checked out. If anyone out there reading this has a mole they're curious about, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO TO A DOCTOR AND SHOW IT TO HIM OR HER. The melanoma my husband had looked like nothing. I originally sent him to the doctor because he had another mole that I thought looked weird. That turned out to be nothing. The mole I thought was no problem? Could have eaten him alive and I would be talking about my late husband right now. It's best to have these things evaluated by an experienced medical professional, as you did. Dying from malignant melanoma is not a pretty way to go.
In any case, thanks for being so open about your little jaunt through Skin Cancer Roulette. If a couple of people are inspired to go to the doctor by your posts, you will have done a good thing.
90. Jane Southwood said:
The arrogance and loutishness of some members of the medical profession never ceases to amaze me. Specialists seem to be the worst in this regard, although I have to say that a dermatologist with a bedside manner this lousy is surprising. You kind of expect it with a surgeon -- after all they've chosen a specialty where they mainly interact with people who they don't have to talk to since they're under anaesthesia -- but a dermatologist makes his or her main bread and butter dealing with adolescents who have acne and grown women who are trying to buff up their complexions and have the extra cash to pay for it. Neither of which is a particularly forgiving population group.
Glad it all turned out for the best. Good that you wrote about it, too, since maybe it will help remind some of us to be a little more diligent with the sunscreen.
91. mrsjenna said:
Bye bye, Ed.
Best wishes, Heather...and so happy for you that everything worked out.
92. MommyofOne said:
"what we have in the back account"
Did you mean "what we have in the BANK account?" Because I would hate to see your blog blemished with a misspelled word. Or a word that is not misspelled but doesn't quite belong.
On the other hand, I thought I heard a CRUNCH earlier this week. Thank you for raising all of our awareness.
93. girl said:
I'm having a second mole removed (also from my upper arm) on Monday. I had one removed from my back a month or so ago that turned out to be benign, thankfully. Unfortunatly, we have another 2 months (at least) before it's long-sleeve weather here in SE Texas, so I'll be dealing with every single nosey person that I work with and wait on at work asking what happened to my arm.
94. battybeyond said:
This is something i've been trying to teach my mother for years... she's always wringing her hands saying "i hope i've done the right thing," and if there are negative consequences (any at all, really) she gets flustered and upset with herself that she made the 'wrong' choice. You made a best-judgment based on your situation. That's life. Hind-sight is always 20/20, and I'm always reminded of that when people tell me what I could have and should have done.
95. 72feetabovesealevel said:
My sister had basal cell carcinoma and didn't die. She was treated using a cream that can make the cancerous spot swell up and look really gross. Her's didn't, it just got smaller and smaller and went away.
And that is the end of my story.
96. Workman said:
Congrats on your benign-ness. May the remainder of yoru life be equally benign.
97. esthela said:
They put JUST a band-aid on that first cut?
98. barbie2be said:
heather, i'm glad that you went and got it checked and taken care of. even if your new doctor is a masochist.
99. jams said:
i applaud you for talking about it
i think that some people think you can get cancer, or aids, or hepatitis just by talking about it, or listening about it. we need to be more communicative about these things, look how many people have gotten checked as a result of your posts about it! awesome
americans are so afraid of the human body
also, whoever above said "saw smoke coming out of my craw" that was HYSTERICAL. i've had two leeps and let me just tell you that cervix roasted on an open fire....not so much. at least the second time they didn't offer me a mirror in case i wanted to watch!
100. slate said:
Those pics are so hawt. Almost makes me want to cancel my tan this afternoon.
101. cate said:
Heather---I just don't like that he scraped and burned and didn't excise more tissue, something is not adding up in his treatment of squamous cell CA. I'm no dermatological expert, but I have been an RN for 24 years, and I did some searching today on the subject, and I couldn't find anything that supports not taking down more of the margains, to get to clear tissue...and I sure don't like the looks of that arm wound, and I despise the fact he was such a dick to you....I'm sorry to be a wet blanket, but I worry because I'm a worrier.
Oh good gravy, now I sound like a casket liner!!!
Take good care of yourself!
XO
102. lyndseyelise said:
The pictures are indeed grody. But I would much rather have a nasty scar on my arm than look great in my casket. Now whenever we go outside here in Southern Cali I am constantly slathering on the SPF 40 on both of my children and myself. I might even institute a new rule of long sleeves and jeans even though it's a blistering 120 degrees.
My next observation is that all my friends in Utah use the word "grody." I haven't used this word since the fifth grade. I think I will incorporate this word back into my vocabulary, it's so fun to say.
103. HalfwayCrucified said:
You should have asked if you could get "Really? That was pretty stupid of me" in writing. . .after he put away the blowtorch and laser beam, of course.
104. The Bold Soul said:
Kick that cancer to hell and back again! Whoopee! (I couldn't bring myself to look at the new photos but I did start wearing sunscreen all the time when I go outside... because of you. So thanks!)
By the way it also took me a while to take myself seriously when saying "I'm a writer", so I know how you feel. At first I would say "I'm a web designer... and a writer" where that last bit came out in a soft rush -- "andawriter" -- like it was chronic gas, something I had to be embarrassed about. Then I started forcing myself to say the "I'm a writer" part FIRST, followed by the other stuff. Now I just say "I'm a writer" and stop talking. Because to keep talking after I say "writer" is like I'm apologizing for it and there's no freaking way I'm going to apologize for doing what I absolutely love, being brilliant at it in my own way, and getting PAID to do it.
So just practice a lot and it will get easier to say it. And a lot more fun once you realize you actually MEAN it, and the rest of the world be damned.
105. Dennis Bullock said:
That is great news Heather. I have a mole on my back that has always given me bad thoughts. Maybe I should get it looked at.
106. Chookooloonks said:
Congrats. And I'm hoping that every time you show those wounds around, you do so with a swagger and a "Hey, you should see the OTHER guy."
107. Jaycee said:
Now you can hold off deciding what colour fabric you want in your casket.
108. Sharon Faulk said:
Yuck!
But it looks like he did a better job thatn my doctor did with mine. The skin separated or something like that so I have this portion of my underarm which looks like, well, the like the worst stretch you can imagine and then multiplied by 100.
BLECH!
Oh but those margins came back clean.
109. noromdiam said:
I'm glad they caught the cancer. Your wounds look bad ass.
I had three moles removed in May. The one that was removed with a skin punch oozing pus for a month, that was really ugly but is now the prettiest scar of the three. The other two were merely shaved off. For the 3-D scars, those Curad scar therapy patches work extremely well, you can cut them into smaller pieces to save money. AND!!! When you peel them off and leave them in the shower, they suck up water and get really big.
110. JavaJabber said:
First of all, F&*k those trolls who make asshat comments. It's YOUR blog, don't let anyone get to you to the point that you have to justify everything you write about.
Secondly, you're not JUST a writer. You're a Freelance Writer. This indicates that you're writing skills have been developed to the level of being able to pick and choose what you write about and for whom. That you're selective about what you write and you are an independent thinker.
Lastly, the more people talk about skin cancer, the more the number of people who die from skin cancer on a yearly basis will decrease. People just aren't aware of how deadly this seemingly innocuous disease really is to everyone.
111. WeeDram said:
I'll try not to make any inane comments such as those other inane folks have made. I mean, how can you really say much about the possibility of cancer, mortality, etc. that doesn't sounds a bit ... lacking.
So, at the risk of being inane, and not diminishing the fact that yes, you are fortunate to have health care choices ... doesn't for-profit health care just bite?
112. Karen Rani said:
You are a brave lady. So happy to hear it was benign.
The haters can SO suck it. You're sending a great message.
113. kerri said:
So glad! to hear all is well, and B9.
* applies sunblock feverishly *
114. Teetotaled said:
Great news! If I see skin cancer I will give him a swift one just for you.
I also had that gross thing done to remove a huge and seriously I mean huge, mole on my back. Your description of it was so funny. The entire time I tried to keep my eyes shut and sing songs in my head and ignore the smell of burning flesh. Eck.
115. Erin said:
Glad the most recent mole came back benign. If you ever have another basal cell (which I really honestly hope that you don't), maybe you could elect to have MOHS surgery - I think I may have commented on one of your previous entries that I had MOHS surgery on my face.
To overly-simplify MOHS, it's a removal procedure that checks the margins to make sure they're clear before closing up the wound. It's a very precise procedure - I'd be happy to tell you all about it.
116. menow said:
Maybe if, when people ask what you do, you lower your bifocals and say, "I am an awe-thor," it would feel more natural?
It's better than being a professional violist. Yes. Viola. An instrument 97% of the world is a little vague on and which my own grampa still pronounces like he's trying to say violet. Plus then there are the jokes, and it just is all so very geeky from there on in. But hey, at least I'm not curing cancer or something like that.
Here's to the death of Ed!
117. marisi said:
Very disturbing indeed. I am sorry you and your family are having to go through this crap. What disturbs me the most though is that you have a hard time admitting that you are a writer. Your words and pictures have moved me to tears, gotten me out of a bad funk. High time you took yourself every bit as seriously as we do.
118. SarahLou said:
honostly, you inspire me to be more careful in the sun because that looks like it fuckin HURTS. i'm sorry and get well soon, hopefully this will be the last we hear of Ed.
119. courtney said:
Thanks for posting about this. When you made your first post telling us you had skin cancer, I freaked and made an appointment with a dermotologist. I took the first available, and it's this Monday; it takes a long time to get in with a derm around here. I'm a very freckle-y mommy (of a 17 month old boy) and mommy-to-be (of a girl due in about 5 weeks) who had a lot of bad sunburns as a child. I have spots all over me that freak me out.
So, thanks for giving me my wake-up call, and telling me I needed to do this for my family.
120. kidsmom said:
"What do you do?" they ask...
"When I'm on my medication, or off it?" I answer....
Congratulations on the scars. Consider them diplomas, because Now you Know.
(I have 14 more than you do, so take that!)
121. FashMags said:
Thank God you know how to kick ass girl. Am I in trouble for using God and ass in the same sentence? Your family remains in my prayers.
Hugs from Boston to all.
122. Barry said:
"That noise you hear? That’s me kicking skin cancer in the nuts."
And what a lovely sound it is. Congratulations.
123. Suebob Davis said:
About being a writer: you are not just a writer. You are A Big Deal Writer. I am not joking. All the haters can piss off, because you didn't get the kind of audience you have by being some kind of amateur.
You are A Real Writer. You are the Jane Austen of blogging. You just don't get the respect because there is this bias toward paper. If you had written as many words and taken as many photos and had had them published in a book, you would have been in Oprah's Book Club by now (for good or for ill).
But mark my words: I bet you $100 and my really good blues mix tape that my sister made me that there will be a college class in Dooce by 2050.
And that sound? That's the sound of skin cancer screaming and writhing on the ground.
124. deannie said:
Oh Heather. There but for the grace of God go I...
I really appreciate your posting these things and sharing them. I looked at every picture and I must say, it did hurt my feelings to see that even larger wound on your arm. Well, just consider, when you are older like me, no one will even notice!
Your writing Heather?!? Do you still have some doubt that someone will take you seriously unless you point at your chest in that special k kind of way?!? Might make a great video. Can you make a video of your expressing yourself strongly and we can all vote (you know, Olympic style) 1-10 to rate the performance so you will know moving forward the best tone to take etc.
Hey, we just want you to be HAPPEEEEEEEEE.
hugs,
125. Lindsay said:
Um, ouch? I'm officially never leaving my house without sunscreen again.
That doctor sounds like he's the one who needs to be kicked in the nuts.
126. roguephotog said:
I'm very thankful for your candid sharing of the Ed experience. Somehow my father having skin cancer removed from his face last year, sans insurance, didn't get me into the clinic.
But this year you've influenced me and I found a "free" clinic for those of us without insurance. I felt that same panic of "treatment now or never" when I was finally scheduled to see the derm that they have volunteer 1x month. It was highly recommended that my beautiful mole the size of Minneapolis be removed from my back.
I'm a slow healer and it looks like cheese pizza run over with tomato sauce ... but it's healing and I'm starting to feel better about the crash-decision made by me, a female nurse, a doctor and his derm-student son in that tiny 6 x 6 exam room.
Now I'm waiting for the lab results. I have another scary mole that needs to be removed, but since it is practically in my vagina I may wait a few months.
Sorry to be a long-winded commenter. You are a fabulous W R I T E R and I appreciate your influence on our curious lives.
127. Kristin said:
BEE. NINE.
Those are the two nicest words I've heard all day.
So glad to know you've kicked some ass.
128. medusaeyes said:
Glad you're kicking it in the nuts. Only please don't kick it in my direction.
I agree that our generation doesn't take skin cancer as seriously as we should. I was made fun of so much as a kid for my very pale, fair skin. I quickly learned tan = acceptable. I could kick myself for all the money I wasted on tanning beds in my teens and twenties. Sure, I looked great and felt pretty because I, along with everyone else, had been conditioned to believe that a tan looks healthy while pale looks ill.
I've decided to rethink that position, for the safety of my skin and for the message it sends my own children.
Hope everything turns out well for you.
129. roguephotog said:
I'm ecstatic that your one mole is benign! Your new scar on your arm will heal even better this time. The internet people promise.
130. goddesschristine said:
SHAMEFUL!!!!!
(kidding)
Heather, I think you should react to your cancer in your body, in any damned way it occurs to you to react to it. I think you should write about it in any damned way you see fit to write about it. You should write about all of the things that are important to you, if that means you write a 24/7 live feed blog about the size of Leta's boogers, then do it because this is is your life, and you are doing yourself a disservice if you fail to be anything less than your authentic self.
Now go flog the fucking shit out of cancer, and make sure to put some sunscreen ON IT.
131. AW said:
By you taking the time to tell your story gave me the courage to seek out treatment (and a name) for the lump on my back. It turned out to be morphea. Not curable but treatable. Thank you.
132. garrett said:
I once went to a dermatologist in the SLC area, and the guy you describe sounds EXACTLY like him. I wonder if it's the same one...
Anyway... My dad also had basal cell on his arm, went to a sadistic derm (same one I just mentioned), and his wound was even uglier than yours. So maybe you're lucky that that wound on your arm isn't even more nasty-looking than it is. (Oh, and yes, my dad's still alive. No need to get your will in order.)
133. Sum of 2 Squares said:
I've had five moles removed thus far. They want to take one from my neck, but it hasn't changed or caused me any discomfort, so I haven't set an appointment. The first two I had removed were on my back, the first taken by cutting around the mole and its outlying tissue and then stiching up the resulting hole, and the other by using a device that looked eerily like a cheese slicer to take layer upon layer of my flesh until certain that there was no more of the mole left and then stitching it up. Two located somewhat beneath my right shoulder but still above my right breast were removed by scraping and by "punch," respectively. The most recent removal was on my right arm, just below the shoulder. That was also a "punch" removal.
The scars from numbers 3, 4, and 5 are the least noticeable. But I have to say that the second one is my favorite. Not only do I have a pretty line where the skin knitted itself together, but there are holes left over from the long-ago removed stitches. It looks like some kind of freakish, alien bite mark.
Anyway, judging from the pictures (and my personal experience), your wounds should heal nicely and be mostly unnoticeable to all but those who look for them ... Just be sure to keep them lubed up with plenty of Neosporin (or the best store brand you can find), and make sure that your bandages are large enough to keep the adhesive that holds them in place from even thinking about adhering to your wounds (stupid physician's assistant). Trust me on this one. You do NOT want to have to pull something from a wound like that once it's adhered itself to the spot. It's not pretty.
134. zitsmom said:
On a golf course you would have to replace that divot.
135. jt said:
Oh man- I am investing in a giant vat of SPF 1,000 to dip my children in before they are allowed outside. That is some scary shit. I did the whole sunbathing/sunburning with baby oil- so stupid. Now I go every year for a head to toe mole check. My Dad had stage 2 melanoma which is scary because he's Mediterrian. But he like you will do, kicked cancer's ass.
136. marlie said:
Long time reader, first time commenter.
Love you, your blog, your kid, your man, your dog. Sounds creepy. I'm not.
Way to kick skin cancers lumpy, scaly, discolored ass!
137. Eatmisery said:
"Benign" is a good word to hear, Dooce.
138. Msyvone said:
Oh Heather! I'm so sorry you had to go through that again. I had two separate basal cell carsinoma's removed from my nose, two years apart. The second was worse, cause I knew what was going to happen! Anticipation is the worst, eh? I'm glad you got it taken care of.
As for your profession, you are indeed a writer. Didn't someone say, Write about what you know best? Well, seems you are doing a damn good job! thanks, I enjoy reading your website about your feelings.
139. Jenorama said:
Good on you!
I clicked on all the pictures, because I think I missed my calling as a dermatologist.
I was disappointed by the lack of pus in the pictures, but greatly relieved to hear about the Bee Nine.
Would you like some whirled peas with your Bee Nine?
140. fiveflowers said:
Drs like that should stay in the lab, man... Here here to Mr. Bee Nine and to your road to recovery... I think I'll buy stock in Banana Boat or something...
141. Susan Wagner said:
Sweet Jesus you are funny. Even about this, which is so NOT funny.
Congratulations! Although I'm a little disappointed we won't be finding out what kind of expensive fabric you were choosing for that casket.
142. carolff said:
Holy Crap! Just to register. Sheesh....
But I did all that just to say...
I am so happy for you, Heather!!!
BEE NINE. There have never been any two words better.
(and yes, I meant to say it that way)
Good on ya.
: ) C
143. Alison said:
That's great news! And? Scars fade. :)
144. Rita Arens said:
Looks like Ed's got himself some mighty fine casket silk.
Gah.
I hope you at least got an ice cream sandwich out of this ghastly experience.
I went to the dermatologist when I was eight months pregnant and found a lump in my leg. My mom had cancer of the soft tissue twice -lumps in her leg - when I was a kid, so I was a) terrified and b) way pregnant and c) emotional to begin with. Since it was on my leg, I had to take my pants off. I sat there on the space chair, sweating, for a half-hour before he came in. Then he told me I was stupid to worry, after which I burst out crying, half-naked and eight months pregnant.
Then I shot him.
Not really. But I sort of thought about it.
145. Jennifer in Ohio said:
It's so touching that people send you these grim messages knowing your history with anxiety and depression.....Guess where they can stick their "concern". I group them with the jerks who told me horror stories about labor and episiotomies gone wrong back when I was pregnant.
I'm also donning the SPF like a mad woman. I've had several moles removed that looked suspicious, and in fact, stumbled on a little skin anamoly earlier this year that turned out to be actinic keratosis, aka precancerous sun damage. My biggest problem is that I get so wrapped up in making sure Elsa is covered in sunscreen, I forget about myself.
I just had two moles removed today, in fact. One of which gave me a really bad feeling, so I've got my fingers crossed.
Don't let the pessimists get you down. Remember, misery loves company. Take care!
146. Mom O Matic said:
Your poor thing. Aren't dermatologists fun? I was sent to a hair specialist downtown Chicago to get a biopsy on my scalp. Seems I'm losing too much hair since the baby was born. Well I didn't realize biopsy meant "Lie on your back with we use this medevil hole punch on the top of your head." Twice! Good God.
Seriously, scary and no fun. Also been through stuff with lame insurance and I know that just adds to the stress. Go buy yourself a Mystic.
147. Mom O Matic said:
Your poor thing. Aren't dermatologists fun? I was sent to a hair specialist downtown Chicago to get a biopsy on my scalp. Seems I'm losing too much hair since the baby was born. Well I didn't realize biopsy meant "Lie on your back while we use this evil hole punch on the top of your head." Twice! Good God.
Seriously, scary and no fun. Also been through stuff with lame insurance and I know that just adds to the stress. Go buy yourself a Mystic.
148. Wen said:
Aw man. Now I really need to go for mole patrol.
If you can, next time go to the plastic surgeon. At least the scar will loon better...
149. KristieD said:
good to hear it was bee.nine. My mom just found out she has it some skin cancer too, but she goes this week to have it cut off. She is not too thrilled. She has suddenly become the queen of sunscreen tho. She tells me all day and night now about how when she was my age, she spent all her days at the beach and never thought twice about it. Hope you new scars heal as nice as your old one did.
150. merry mama said:
Go Dooce.
And yes, you are blessed to have the ability to get it taken care of -
Must be a sign.
151. mothergoosemouse said:
Here's hoping this latest procedure takes care of it.
I'm another fair-skinned former sunscreen-shunner. I can't do a damn thing for myself now (except apply the stuff liberally, especially out west where the risk is even greater), but I can teach my girls to take better care of themselves than I did.
152. thisbearbites said:
Good advice above.
Do take vitamin E and poke a hole in a capsule and apply vitamin E directly to your wounds several times a day. You will heal faster with much less scarring.
I have spent most summers of my life at the pool, at the beach, camping,..... I figure - I'm screwed!
I have a couple of new moles that concerned me and my 'previous' doc told me they were just part of growing old. No checking or biopsies.
I have a new doc, might be time for a new mole check.
Great public service announcment here. Thank you!
153. stepheather said:
Hey,
I know what you mean about the dermatologist office. I've never been to your dermatologist (at least I *assume* so, since I haven't been to one in Utah)...but they just seem to be odd. Kind of like they don't see people when they look in their waiting room, just lots of SKIN. SKIN that needs to be studied, poked, prodded, and maybe REMOVED.
I think I was 13 when I had my first dermatology appointment, and believe me, I stayed as far away from them for as long as possible. Of course, it might also be the fact that local anesthetics have the same effect on me as Vicodin does on other people (and Vicodin doesn't...well, unless I take too much).
Anyway, your description of the doctor's visit made me laugh in a oh-that's-too-familiar sort of way. Thanks, and I hope any future visits are less painful.
154. cagey said:
I actually don't read here that often, which is why I was too sheepish to introduce myself to you at BlogHer (I think in some circles it is referred to as "stalking", but ahem. Whatever). AnyWHO........ I happened to read you today and you are posting about a topic that is so veddy, veddy near and dear to this freckled, Irish girl's heart. A pale, pasty girl who has seen way too many friends and members of her family face skin cancer.
Please, oh please keep posting about this topic. Who CARES what the Trolls might think?........As a Power Blogger, you have an incredible opportunity to get the word OUT to people to stop with the suntanning, already. Seriously. I am glad it looks you have caught it in time.
Peace. Oh, and Thank you.
155. Terimo said:
I hate the "electrodesiccation" of the skin. What's that smell? Oh, it's just my burning flesh.
I've about 15 basal cell carcinomas removed from my body in the past 10 years (I'm 42). When I noticed the first 3 (they all appeared around the same time on my chest), it took nearly 2 years for me to convince my family doc that I needed to see a derm, and another year for me to convince the derm that I didn't have a fungus on my chest before she did a biopsy on one (thank you Canadian health care system). When it came back pos for BCC, she decided to biopsy the others. That freaked me out a lot, but now I'm pretty used to it I guess. I dread hearing the word melanoma, so I get my skin checked, head to toe, every 3 or 4 months. A friend died 2 years ago with melanoma at age 40. She was 6 months pregnant when she found out she had melanoma, opted for no treatment to spare the baby, and died when her daughter was 3 months old.
I've had a lot of pre-cancerous moles removed too. It's good to stay on top of this stuff. Next time you're getting your hair cut, ask your stylist to check you're scalp.
Unfortunately I baked and burned in the sun a lot before I was 18. That's when the most damage is done. I'm always covered in sun screen now, year round, but I don't know how helpful it will be to prevent future problems.
I'm feeling your burnt skin pain.
156. cagey said:
Oh. Adding..........My Goodness, I must start reading more often. When did your sweet baby become a beautiful LITTLE GIRL?
157. Mary Jo said:
If you help even one person by the telling of your story, then it's worth it. I thought of you when I stupidly went and sat in the sun for 4 hours and got burnt to a crisp Monday. I HATE sunscreen... hmph! Oh well... better off slathered rather then cancerous.
158. Zee said:
I was recently diagnosed with MS and, let me tell you, if I hadn't had my blog and the outlet for writing I would have had to write in a private, personal, paper journal. And what fun is that?
My point is, sometimes getting it out there for the world to read is cathartic. And seriously, I enjoy everything you write and I like the fact that you share what's going on in your life - the good and the bad and the weird and the dog-related, etc...
You ROCK, Heather! (And the healthcare/insurance situation in this country? Disgraceful, but that's another comment... I've been there, and don't even get me started.)
159. Terimo said:
Also, I hate telling people I'm a writer. Most people seem overly impressed by something I could do in my sleep. Some people are good at math, some at fixing cars, some at selling insurance. I just happen to be a good writer and make a good living with it.
160. greenthumb said:
I hate that you have to...justify(?) your experiences here. People...SOME people are just crazy I guess.
You will always be a "Writer" to me. A noble and worthy title for you.
161. greenthumb said:
I hate that you have to...justify(?) your experiences here. People...SOME people are just crazy I guess.
You will always be a "Writer" to me. A noble and worthy title for you.
162. greenthumb said:
Um...someone delete comment #160 for me. Sorry for the duplication. Bad Firefox, bad.
163. Lilly said:
Did you get that sunscreen I sent ya?
You can tell people you got that wound when you put your cigar out on your arm because you are HARD AS NAILS.
164. heartbreaker said:
dooooooooooooce. I love you!
165. Kat said:
It was worth telling and I'm so glad you introduced me to Ed.
Really. Because of Ed, I made an appointment with a Dermatologist. She found an in situ melanoma on my left leg. It was removed 2 weeks ago. Margins came back clean.
Congrats on the BEE NINEity and thank you.
166. Jummy said:
Those pictures spoke louder than words to me and I'm sure others will rethink their interactions with the sun too (sounds so ominous).
I hope this is the end of your bout with skin cancer. Thanks for sharing your story and please continue to do so as long as you want to.
167. b said:
YIKES! It looks like he took the car cigarette lighter to your arm!
168. Heather Sturm said:
A girl in the class ahead of mine in high school was diagnosed with skin cancer before she even graduated - her mom owned her own tanning bed, and the whole family used it. Now it's hard to believe we ever thought it was ok to do that...
Thanks for linking to Juniper - I'm enjoying their site!
Specialists are all self-appointed experts, and if they had a say, no one would ever touch any of "their" patients first. Plus, insurance, it makes the world go 'round. Glad the tests came back bee-9.
169. 5penny said:
Congrats on kicking cancer in the balls.
I don't think I've ever commented here before, although I, like every other known person with a high speed internet connection, absolutely love it.
I just wanted to share with you a little sumpin' I found out about sunscreen before you go bathing in it; sunscreen contains PABA, which is a known carcinogen. I know! It ALL contains PABA, except the health food store variety. They say (who? are? they?) you should look for a PABA-free sunscreen. I just wanted to make sure that the very thing you're trying to avoid isn't the same thing you're bathing in daily...
170. grrlsweat said:
i've lived with chronic illness for a lifetime and, so, have grown up in the support of the medical community. it's truly amazing how many people i've met in "helping professions" who were so blatantly uncaring. i have often wondered what psychological reason motivates them to "care" and yet be unable to develop an even lukewarm bedside manner. i think it's fear with a dash of denial. "helping" definitely draws a line between power and dependence; if you're "helping," your identity as a helper rather than helpee is constantly reaffirmed. i theorize that some of these people must fear death and disease so much that they invest their entire identity and purpose in life in cheating it. people often chase the things they fear the most and try to trick themselves into believing they can overpower them and, then, when they don't, they are left unprepared to face the helplessness and powerlessness they feel.
and then some people are just insensitive dicks.
171. Sarah said:
To be honest, you've come out pretty lightly.....
try living in Australia - I don't know anyone over the age of 40 who hasn't has a skin cancer removed and most of them look alot worse than that...I've seen people who've had their entire ears removed. Worse is when it has spread inwards and they have to remove a hunk of flesh the size of a tennis ball.
So, every Spring one of the current affairs programs will air the annual skin cancer shock segment....dredging up the latest tragic 30 year old mother or father dying from skin cancer, a 16 year old with only months to live and finish up by reporting on the death of last year's subject. The only bare skin you see at the beach in summer anymore belongs to the overseas tourists. No responsible parent lets their kid out in the sun with out neck to knee sunsuits.
172. kim from germany said:
thinkin' of you. i hope everything will be okay. xoxoxo
173. mob said:
This may get a little pricey and I hate to jinx you but you should really dump this dermatologist and find one that does the MOHS procedure.
The MOHS procedure is new and it is removal of basal or squamous in stages with breaks in between for samples to be checked by pathology so the margins are completely cleared. Initially it can be a little more expensive but in the long run much cheaper because there really is no way to visualize skin cancer....you cannot just whack the red piece out and be sure you got it all.
My husband has had over three hundred areas removed over the last twenty years, yes he is a red head that never wore a hat or skin block.
Skin cancer in all honesty is freaky the first time but after a few years you don't get that worked up.
The danger with basal or squamous is ignoring it..it can leave an unsightly mess that is hell on wheels to repair with a pretty result.
We have been very happy with the MOHs..no more going back to have the same spot done over and over.
The nose is the biggest problem area for basal cell, be vigilant and get anything suspicious taken off right away.
Sorry about your luck, sucks to have skin cancer.
174. Dave said:
*hugs Heather*
That arm wound looks pretty freaking nasty. Assuming Jon is beyond his west nile virus, get him to make you a grilled cheese sandwich or something... they always make me feel better.
175. juju said:
I read your blog every single day. There are two main reasons: one, it is an entertaining look into a life that is different from mine in many ways, but oh so similar in others; and two, I admire GREAT WRITING BY GREAT WRITERS.
You are a great writer.
And oh yeah, I said a prayer for no more cancer cells, ever. Because I want to be reading you when I am an old lady.
176. amerideutsch said:
The bastard used a cigar on your arm! The ex back mole appears to have been frozen with an ice cube then dug out with the fingernail of his pinky. Total and complete full body shudder. You are very brave. Here's hoping this is the end of a very short chapter entitled "When Dooce Had Cancer - And Kicked Its Ass In Record Time" Go to hell and sit on a hot coal Ed!
177. thejoyof said:
Owch - the first pic resembles a crater! Your dermatologist sounds like the dentist I had when I was 10 years old. He was barbaric and worse, called me a boy.
178. Thérèse said:
Well? Did you get to keep it?
...
What, why are you looking at me like that? Didn't you ultimately want to keep it in a jar? I mean, you named it. That makes it your pet to kick in the shins and nuts, so on and so forth.
I'm pretty sure I would. Just so I could look at it every so often and flip it off. You know, like during dinner.
179. Thérèse said:
(Oh, and not to get schmoopy, but... I'm glad you're dealing with this so publicly. It's rare to see someone willing to talk about the icky bits of their life so candidly, and I appreciate your point of view. You are a writer. You just don't write in the conventionally accepted form. You realize of course that this just means you will stand out in your field though, right?)
180. kristin said:
Such good news Heather. I wish you and yur family health and happiness.
Keep up the good work and keep writting about your FEELINGS!
181. Jennifer Schutz said:
Sometimes, I really wonder how doctors with such a lack of understanding of a patient's "feelings" can stay in business. I once had a resident who was observing my orthopedist, who was about to give me a cortisone injection in my back (which involves a very long needle, which I am terrified of, and is also quite painful) say "wow. It looks like that's gonna hurt." Yes, asshole, it does. Thanks for noticing, and I bet that you got an A+ in Beside Manner in medical school, didn't you.
I'm glad it's over with for you... at least for now. I didn't look at the pictures because I have no stomach for those sorts of things, but I'm in awe of you for not even crying once during that awful experience. I know where all the private bathrooms are in my orthopedist's office, so I can lock myself in and have a good cleansing cry afterwards. I know, I'm very mature. But he's, by all accounts, the best orthopedist around, so I keep going back, even though his bedside manner rivals his residents for best in class.
182. geeky said:
i'm glad you are sharing this with us! i had a potentially cancerous mole removed when i was about 11, and i'm now left with an inch and a half long scar on my back. i have a few other moles now that i know i should have checked out / removed, but i'm not eager to get any more big scars. i'm greatly relieved to see that there is much less scarring involved in these procedures now. and hearing that it only took 7 minutes makes me feel better too, because the thought of having a doctor remove part of my body kinda makes me wanna hurl, but i think i could endure 7 minutes. maybe. perhaps a new tagline is in order? Dooce - inspiring potentially cancerous mole removal since 2006.
best of luck with "Ed"!
183. MadKat said:
I am so glad that it is B-9! We were stupid in our teens - anyone else lather up with Wesson Oil out there? People wonder why I FREAK OUT when my baby twin girls (5 mos) have a toe in any direct ray of sunlight!
And that doctor should have some skin carved out of his arm and shoved up his ass.
Love ya.
184. Cauri said:
Yay! I'm not sure how you managed to stay so brave...I would've broken down quite a few times during that procedure. But I'm so relieved that you're in the clear dooce!
185. TiffyWiffyPooPooWanna said:
Fantastic news, you little WRITER, you!
186. wealhtheow said:
Yay Dooce!! That's awesome news.
187. merseydotes said:
You are very brave for leaving the comments on this open.
FWIW, I represent the third camp of people, the people who thought, "Gee, skin cancer...that sure sucks. I bet that's a big deal in her life right now, which is why she's writing about it. I hope she gets better."
188. Lola said:
GOOD LORD! What did that man do to your arm? The back looks so tame in comparison.
189. Tim in Flyover Country said:
Heather, congrats on kicking skin cancer where the sun don't shine! Who hooo!
190. SaraSue said:
Ed, Ed give me some head.
191. MTSP said:
Having gone through a similar ordeal with skin cancer, I totally feel for you and am so HAPPY to hear such good news that the mole was benign. :) Thank you again for discussing this subject. You are right - there is a total lack of awareness. I appreciate how hard it must be for you to talk about this and put your feelings out there for others to stomp on because they are ignorant. But reading about your FEELINGS helps to remind me that I wasn't so crazy when I made such a big deal out of my own skin cancer. It's a scary and upsetting thing, not to be taken lightly. Thank you so much. :)
192. marisakc said:
My parents have a theory that 99% of all dermatologists are evil creepy sadists. Between them, they have had several skin cancers removed (including one from my father's nose that required reconstructive surgery). My mother has had the most recent horrific deratological experience in which a large CONE SHAPED section of flesh was gouged out of her by a doctor who used insufficient anesthetic and was completely unwilling to discuss the procedure with her in any detail. I am sure the removal was necessary, but the inhumane approach certainly wasn't.
There MUST be good dermatologists out there. In the meantime, my folks keep changing doctors hoping to find a reasonably pleasant one. I get the impression that they liked the doctor who worked on my father's nose but he, sadly, is in another state and no longer a convenient option.
Thank you for sharing the Saga of Ed. I LIVE in massive amounts of spf 45 and have my entire life thanks to mom and dad knowing the family had this history. I mean, sure, other kids may have called me Casper and we have film of my face blending in with the white of Santa's beard when I was 5 BUT I look several years younger than I am AND I may avoid a trip to the evil sadist doctors later in life! (I have noticed that my female freinds are much more influenced by seeing how much younger I look than they are by fear of cancer. Freaky how death can be less of a motivator than wrinkly skin.)
LOVE the writing. "Visit" you every day.
193. Michael said:
Well, Braveheart, you're really Ed's girl now.
Of course, should the saddening time ever come, I urge you to consider converting to Judaism before The End. We don't use anything but a plain, unlined wooden coffin, a deep hole, and a local rabbi. And it really takes just a bit longer than your "surgery," so no one loses a lot of time from work.
194. M_to_the_D-O-_Double_G said:
Heather, those are some nastified pictures. Thanks for sharing your ordeal with us. I love your grass-roots approach to public health :-)
195. Be Still said:
Who knew Ed would resurrect like our Blessed Saviour? What a drag that you had to dispatch him yet again. Sending healing thoughts your way.
I'm glad you are keeping this topic in front of me. I've got a spot on my arm that I need to have looked at.
I'm not really avoiding the procedures. I'm actually dreading the decor at the dermatologist's office. It's got that whole 1880s Victorian apothecary theme going on. How on earth does one sterilize lace curtains, flocked wallpaper, Tiffany lamps and artifical ferns? Ugh...
196. sleepingKelly said:
Dude, your mole scar looks, like, totally better than my mole scar. Mine is all gross and icky! (if we can't act like jr high girls over serious stuff, what's the point of living?)
you're in my thoughts.
197. Jezzie said:
Here's a story about unprofessional Dr's...when I told my new PCP I was gay he goes "I don't want to hear about that" and NEVER remembered I was gay, when I came in would make inappropriate comments. Then he hit on me talkin bout "you need a rich man to take care of you" when I went in for mole removals! I felt like I should be getting paid the way he was lookin all over my skin...there for a minute we were having a "moment" alone in his office (no Nurse) and I was seriously uncomfortable...and I used to be a pole dancer, ok? So there needs to be some serious vibe for me to get antsy. It was 3 of the worst Dr. visits I ever had, except one time when I was sixteen and had to have a shot in the butt and the grandpa doc cupped my cheek and said "you have the softest skin".
EEEWWW!!! WTF??
So there is my comment in which I did not state to redundancy "Heather, you are one hell of a writer", or "Heather, I am so glad you are ok", or "Heather,I'M YOUR #1 FAN!!" (but I secretly I am thinking it :)
198. Scott Murdoch said:
I know you know this, but by God Heather, you ARE a writer. A damn good writer who should wear that moniker proudly. On a button.
Just last week I was telling someone about you, that you write about your life on the Net. While we all have our own lives to lead, yours is interesting and funny and touching to read about for the very reason that you write so well. A blog written by someone ELSE leading the same life you have would be a bore. I mean who knew that cancer is so funny?
You rock sister.
Scott
199. Mark7r0n said:
I had spontaneous and awkwardly loud outloud laughing at your description of people's perceptions of writer's love for fedoras and plaid capes and beige orthopedic shoes. I am not a writer but I often want to claw at my chest in expression of where I keep the magic.
As threapy I suggest listening to The Arcade Fire way to loud on your ipod and dancing around 80s new-wave style for at least 30 min. It always makes me feel better.
Get well soon. The pictures are really gross. I am going to tape my 18 yr old sisters eyelids open and make her narrow sunbathing ass look at them till she renounces all things daylight!
200. Salt Chic said:
Skin cancer is absolutely going to affect a large number of people at increasingly faster rates-- I am 31 and already 4 of my friends have had problems ranging from level 2 minor removal to major surgery to more. Yet I still see people baking themselves in the sun. You reach a lot of people with this site so I hope you turn a few more heads.
And if I could write like then I'd be doing the same damn thing with my life if it paid my bills. Feelings are under-rated I tell you.
201. Creatrix said:
Benign! YAY! That ignorant doctor is the one who needs a kick in the nuts.
202. Julie_Gong said:
I almost threw up on my desk at work because of those pictures. I'm sad that I didn't because that might have given me an excuse to leave.
I'm glad your kicking cancer in the nuts though because it needs a good kickin'
203. jessiker said:
Glad to hear that the mole was BEE NINE! Yay! Wow...it really doesn't look as bad as I thought. Thank you for keeping us posted, and all. Some of us out here are on neither side of the specturm and selfishly toast to your good health for the sake of our own amusement. *wink*
204. Mary Frances said:
As a symbolic flip of the finger to insurance companies, my husband let one of his patients, an old farmer, pay his bill in chickens. I still have 25 of them in my freezer.
205. Jill said:
Sounds like that doctor could use a kick in the nuts too. Might improve his attitude....
206. bethiecow said:
Thanks to this post, I've finally gotten off of my lazy procrastinating ass and made an appointment with a dermatologist.
I'm from Memphis, btw. The land of Graceland, Beale Street, and skin cancer.
207. HT said:
It is unfortunate that because of some comments, you feel the need to apologize or justify your opinions. It may be difficult, but perhaps you could ignore the negative and just write (as you are a writer) what interests you.
208. Lynnlaw said:
A better WRITER would have written "grody to the max." :)
209. Rambling Man said:
this is one of the funniest blogs i've read in a while - i love your writing style - make no mistakes, you ARE a writer - have a good weekend
210. nikki c said:
cute shirt in that first photo!
211. carolb said:
That makes me very grateful I live in Canada. Yikes. Also, I kind of like scars...they make me feel tough.
212. Jennifer said:
Wow. I'm really glad to hear that you had the skin cancer removed, well and good. Also glad to hear about the benignity of the mole. The doctor sounds like a bit of a jackass but sometimes I think you have to trade in "good bedside manner" for "complete jackass that removes your skin cancer completely in seven minutes." Still, if someone started poking me with needles without telling me they were going to do it first I would have FREAKED THE FUCK OUT so I'm impressed that you kept your cool. Now I'm thinking about having that mole on my back checked out...Thanks for sharing with us all (and don't let the nutjobs get you down.)
213. Sherry said:
I can't read all the comments you already have so there's a good chance someone already said this but really - if people don't like what you write about they can stuff it and go somewhere else. I've never understood the compulsion to take time out of your life to email someone to tell them you don't like what they write about on their own damn site. If I wasn't interested in Ed (which I am, actually and it has scared me into wanting to buy stock in sunblock) then I would scroll past and come back another day. It's ridiculous that you get so many obnoxious emails.
214. serafina pekkala said:
I for one would pay a ZILLION DOLLARS for a tshirt with RIGHT HERE IS WHERE I STORE THE MAGIC emblazoned on it. Seriously! Get all Fussy on us!
You could give some of the money to cancer research, some to Dr. Creepy, and keep a tidy sum for yourself -- stock up on SPF 99 PopTarts or something.
You continue to rock on with your cauterized arm. :)
215. Trisha said:
I'm sorry to hear that all of your cancer wasn't gotten rid of the first time. It sounds like it was all taken care of this time though. Just make sure you go to any follow up appointments if you need them.
Take care!
216. radiantsun said:
Not to scare you too much...I take it your someone that likes when people are honest with you...but it looks like he burned your arm with a cigar. Those technical terms you used "curettage and electrodesiccation" mean "cigar burn." What a fuckin asshole that doctor is to talk to you like that too.
217. DrKyla said:
Betcha he got it all this time.
Obviously, you still need someone for the whole body skin checking position.
218. simzgirl said:
Take that skin cancer! Bwahahaha!
219. katieaubergine said:
My dermatologist is 31 and a total hottie - I wish I had more moles to remove so I could go back (ok, maybe not), but he got them all. And I was all proud of myself because for once, being pasty pale and tan-less at the end of the summer paid off. I know he was loving me and my milky white skin in August. Except that I was seeing him for moles, acne, and a rash, all that came when I gave birth. Keep forgetting I'm married. And a mother.
Glad you are all better now!! Insurance sucks, but sucky insurance is definately better than none.
220. Cristanthymum said:
“Really? That was pretty stupid of me, wasn’t it?â€
Yeah doc and so was that comment! Those kind of comments are why my husband makes a living selling dr's malpractice insurance!
221. Tiggerlane said:
Because of you, my "vain side" lost in the battle of good vs. evil. And I thank you.
Went to California recently, and thought about Your Darling Ed. For the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I applied sunscreen, all b/c of your ordeal. (I am very dark-complected, and tan so easily, it's sickening.) I became distressed when I realized the sunscreen was morphing the top-coat of my acrylic nails into some type of gummy residue. I was going to abandon the sunscreen immediately - but realized that "maintaining my beauty" was going to be much more difficult if I was underground.
So, thank you for helping me choose safety over beauty. Congrats for nut-kicking that cancer!
222. CariP said:
Ummm...OUCH. That's going to leave a mark.
I'm glad the mole was benign!
Love reading your page, even if you do write about your feelings. ;)
223. Leta said:
The two best feelings in the world are finding out that it's benign and finding out that your baby is healthy with all the appropriate appendages. My most sincere congratulations to you all.
224. xxphantomxx said:
Congrats on beating the cancer. I check your blog about once a week and really like your attitude and humor!
You're a terrific writer.
225. Pattie said:
Cancer is cancer--end of story. Keep kicking away!
226. CatMcK said:
De-lurking to say that I admire your ability to effortlessly create mastheads - See paragraph #8. I can't decide which I like best: a) I write about my feelings, b) Right here is where I store the magic, or c) Tracking how long it takes to make people throw up - they are all so good!
Hope you feel better!
Cat
227. Georgia said:
I hope everything turns out in your favor and that the scar isn't too noticable.
And for the record... I'm sorry that you feel like you have to cover your ass on your own website(i.e. making sure nobody thinks you're throwing a pitty party OR making light of the situation)... It's pretty much ridiculous.
228. cmoonchild said:
I went to the doc with a suspicious mole on the middle of my back. While the (actually really nice) derm didn't think they were anything, she went ahead and removed them, since they are hard to keep an eye on there.
My husband has lupus, and the sun is a trigger factor. I stand over him until he puts SPF 50 on before we leave the house, and I've started wearing it too -- not just to prevent cancer, but because I'm ridiculously vain and don't want wrinkles.
Thanks for being so honest and sharing your story, Heather. I know you've made a lot of people -- including me -- think about an important topic.
229. BeachMama said:
My Hubby had a suspicious mole removed from his back about 8 or 9 years ago. It too came back benign and the scar looks similar to yours. We just tell people he was shot in the back and survived. It is much cooler than saying he had a mole removed. Sorry you had to have more removed from your arm, hope Ed is gone for sure now.
230. Mike Drips said:
"duct-taped their faces shut"
This is the insightful, gentle and nurturing kind of advice that I enjoy reading your column for.
Just keep entertaining us with your diseases, mentally challenged relatives, unemployable husband, alleged dog, and your strange, odd, loveable and yet so-much-like-her-mother child.
231. Cauri said:
Completely off-topic, but
I love Leta's bershon in yesterday's pic!
232. Erica said:
I am glad I found your blog Heather-besides the fact that I am learning about motherhood and get to laugh my ass off-I am thankful for these posts.
I just found out that a spot on my face may be basal cell as well (and on top of that I am 4 month preg with a high risk neon sign over my head). I went to the dermatologist (who spend many a minute with me) and he gave me a class c "do not use when preg" steroid cream. I figure if pregnant rats and rabbits had problems with their babies at taking low doses aganist their will-well maybe I should listen to the drugs own website warnings. Ha! So I am not using it (after my primary doc and my ob said not to-why do most derms suck?) and I am hoping they will just remove it like they should of in the first place. But as with my insurance-I think the derm didn't want to do much since (unless forced) he is getting less pay.
So I am with you on the frustration-and I thank you for putting your life out there. I am one of the crazy people who appreciates every single moment!!! :)
233. erinchosen said:
Heather, sometimes I think I love you more than life itself.....
234. kate said:
Heather- keep up the good word on Sunblock & Cancer! It is crucial that people are aware that "yes, it can happen to you". I was 23 when my first "melanoma insitu" was discovered, and 25 when they found my 2nd. Now, I visit the Melanoma Clinic in San Francisco every 4-6 mos. and will continue to do so forever I assume. I have also discovered that my children also have the "A-typical pattern" so they visit Mt. Zion yearly as well. Yep, that means that I have passed this wonderful gene down to my 4 little darlings. Please note that I am of Irish decent, and although I could tan pretty easily, I have the lovely pastey white look by choice! I have convinced my 13 yr old daughter that when everyone else is old and wrinkled, we will be as beautiful as we are today because of sunblock and keeping ourselves covered as much as possible. She also agrees that hats can be cool, and the scent of sunblock is almost like perfume. Congrats on the good news of BEE-NINE. That's one of our favorite words!
Post Script
You may want to call your insurance and see if there are any other Doctors you can see... sounds like your guy should be a proctologist instead- I bet he would fit right in working with a bunch of asses...
235. Piglet said:
You go Heather, do a "Laura Croft" kicking of that cancer's ass. I think it's safe to say you got enough people behind you that "got yo'back".
Thanks for sharing this b/c God knows I never woulda known what it looked like, and I cannot be the only one that likes to be educated about this kind of stuff (from real people, not some big ass corporation that wants to control what we think).
You rock!
236. Cecily said:
Perhaps while sunbathing you can just tell folks that Jon put his cigar out on your arm?
Heh.
237. El Dorado Jr said:
These topical sorts of skin cancers are becoming much more prevalent. Emanations from Uranus no doubt. But seriously, my son's girlfriend had such a cancer removed from her face. You need to have a plastic surgeon do this sort of work unles you don't mind unsightly scars here and there. Stayouttadasunlamps too. This isn't drama, its everyday stuff. Ask around, a lot of us dolts have this stuff now.
238. littlefirecrackr said:
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
I have never met you, yet I feel like I know you and even got all teary eyed when I read this. Way to Go! What a great thing for you, Jon & Leta.
239. Anu said:
Glad to know that the mole was benign. I feel that you dont have the need to explain what you write on your website, especially about your cancer, to people who don't have the ability to keep their negativity under control. These people feel the need to constantly put down someone else to make themselves feel good for those 30 seconds it takes to type the hate mail.
Hope things work out as soon as possible so you can put all this behind you and move on with your life.
240. Black Belt Mama said:
For whatever reason, the term "dermatologist" tends to be synonymous with "lacking any and all personality." Last year, I had a mole removed from my back, one that "worried" my dermatolgist. It worried her so much that she started telling me about a patient of hers (my age) who had a similar mole who is now dying because the cancer had spread to her brain (melanoma). Then she told me she couldn't do the procedure until the day after Christmas and told me "Don't let it ruin your Christmas or anything." So, I spent the two weeks leading up to and my Christmas thinking it would be my last. I arrived the day after at her office and she located the mole and said, "Oh, this little thing." I wanted to PUNT HER. It was benign and I hate her for ruining my Christmas. Dermatologists really should have to take intensive bedside manner classes. Hope you heal soon. Glad to hear you're o.k.
241. frankensoul said:
As I was reading this, I found it very sad that you had to explain yourself at the end of this post. I know I should have done this, I know that, but this was this, etc. Major bummer.
Anyhow, know that I am thinking of you and wishing you well.
242. Elyse said:
If I didn't have to run to work this very moment I'd write a longer, more heartfelt comment, but on that note: Yay! Sack those cancer nuts! *high five* Lets get ice cream!
243. keohinani said:
i can't quite put into words how much i appreciate that you write. anything and everything you've ever written about that i've read since i found your website has been valuable to me in some way. you seem to find the humor in reality and the reality in humor, and i can't say i know if you're doing it consciously. if whatever you call this - writing things online, having a website, being a WRITER - is what you do for a living, for what it's worth, you are definitely living.
and seriously? luxurious fabric for a casket? you might as well ask me what kind of underwear i would want to be wearing for my wake. i'd rather be made into a diamond...because you know what they say: a diamond is forever. you can do that now, i hear. and dammit, if someone sells me on ebay, i hope it's for no less than a million. cuz that's basically how much my parents said they spent on putting me through private school.
244. YoMama said:
Dear Heather the Writer,
You are worthy of the title "writer".
Because of you, I am getting my little cauliflower looking scabby thing on my arm checked out at the dermatologist this week. I have been putting it off all summer since I read your first post about the skin cancer. Now your second incident has pushed me to get it checked out immediately since it looks exactly like yours did and does that little bleeding thing sometimes!
245. Miz_Booshay said:
Dear Heather,
I think you are an excellent writer...and should not hesitate to call yourself one.
Great news about The Cancer being benign....very excellent news!
Donna
246. Radical Turn said:
Dear Heather,
You are definitely a writer -- claim it boldly!
Well, as someone who is fighting cancer, I'm interested in your fight and glad your biopsies are benign.
I love your site! Keep writing!
Rad
247. Carrie Johnston said:
Actually, go straight to a surgeon. Skip the dermatologist. I'm not criticizing, though. I love reading about your feelings. Feel on!
248. Carrie Johnston said:
P.S. Your arm looks like Jon put out a cigar on it.
249. CompletelyWorthlessBum said:
Heather, I think that you *should* write about your earwax and your chlamydia--or someone else's, provided that you don't have any. If anyone could make earwax and chlamydia interesting to read about, it'd be you.
250. profilesintoolness said:
Wow, that doctor sounds like the epitome of total tool douchebag. Great news that the other mole is benign, though. Keep kicking skin cancer in the balls.
251. lmj (alias hez) said:
Benign. It's a beautiful word. Congratulations!
252. Gooseberried said:
Congrats for kicking that cancer in the balls. Always a good feeling.
I've been pretty good about staying out of the sun this year, mostly because I only had two weekends off in total this summer which left no time for sunbathing. It's so hard to avoid though because as a college student, my friends are always pleading to go to Sedona or to Oak Creek. It's hard to remember to apply sunblock when you're getting trashed in Arizona.
253. jagamom said:
As someone who has heard the word Benign in connection with their child I share your joy at hearing that word from your doctor. Here's hoping you kick Ed to the curb never to be heard from again!
254. lisa said:
That doctor did NOT say that about the psychiatrist. And people do NOT think you're writing about this to be a drama queen. There is a class of people called Borderline Personalities, and to qualify you must become rabidly indignant about anyone getting more attention than you do. You must also have never heard the term Borderline Personality, because it never occurs to you that you are a f--ing nutcase for being jealous of someone who has cancer. I am, like so many of your readers, so happy to read the word benign.
255. prittykitty said:
This is the first time I have posted a comment. I read your blog daily and there are times I have wanted to post a comment. But, and I will be honest about this, I have been to damn lazy to create an account so I can comment. But today, I decided to go ahead and do it.
I just want to say that I love reading your blog. You tell it like it is. And I for one appreciate that kind of honesty.
I'm glad everything came back positive and you're doing well. And I agree with gin, you should kick that dermatologist in the nuts. But even if you do it during billable hours, wouldn't it be worth it?
256. Galatae said:
I'm with comment 255's remarks too. I enjoy reading your blog.
and then...
What, there's only one dermatologist in Utah? You, girl, are ALLOWED TO SAY NO to doctors who give care less than what you expect. Everyone is. Believe it or not, there are nicer doctors around and you don't have to settle for crappy bedside manners.
http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/QA/mdcheck.html lists some resources for background info on docs.
257. Red said:
Wow, what is it with dermatologists? I had a similar experience - I've had 10 moles removed so far, and the first 8 of them were just scraped off the surface of my skin with razors. Then one time, I go to the dermatologist for what I think is my 2 week follow-up appointment for one of those scrapings, and instead the nurse tells me I'm having an excision (cutting a hunk of skin out with scalpels). With no warning! The doc claims she called me to talk with me about it, and she says she has a note from the call, which NEVER HAPPENED. They've scheduled me for surgery without telling me why, what the risks are, etc. Yikes. I was too stunned to really think about it, so I went ahead with the surgery, which turned out to have been totally unnecessary. I found a new dermatologist after that.
Sorry to hear you had similar trouble.
258. jen said:
i had several moles on my chest and back removed last month and my sadistic doctor decided that liquid nitrogen sessions were the way to go. when i asked him why he didn't just cut the flipping things off, he replied that doing so would leave a scar.
yeah... like the red spots on my chest and back after almost 6 weeks AREN'T scars?
259. Tracey Clark said:
I had the same thing on my NOSE. They found it 3 months before my wedding and they didn't want to wait to take it off. Hi, I had to get 10 stitches down my nose as my wedding day drew near. Cheers!
In the big picture, who gives a shit about a scar when we are A-friggin'-OK now. Talk about your reality checks.
Glad to hear you kicked it as did I! I will no longer fight the SPF. That is until they find out that IT causes cancer.
260. Dawn said:
I've always wondered what type of low-life, non existent life asshole would leave a shitty comment to someone who posts about a life changing event like skin cancer(or whatever).
Those incision sites look rough Heather but I have you in my thoughts and prayers that your doc was able to get all of the this time and Oh yeah! we LOVE BEE-NINE!!
Heal well and wear that sunblock girl.
Dawn
261. southerngirl said:
Knee cancer in the nuts, sistah!
My GP recommended that his nurse practicioner cut out the basil cell carcinoma on my husbands's face because "her father was a dermatologist". Afterwards, when my vet saw his scar, he said, "Next time come to me. I can do better than that."