Exclamation point, Summer Edition
A couple days ago I got this very funny email from a reader, Laureen:
I'm not one for commenting on posts but I just had to ask. . .how is it that the husband of the daughter of the Avon World Sales Leader may have the West Nile Virus? Don't you have enough Skin So Soft at your disposal to kill a small horse, let alone repel one renegade mosquito?
Good point! Turns out Jon doesn't have West Nile, according to the blood tests. Whew, right? AT LEAST THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EXPLANATION. He has been in bed for seven days now, has had a constant migraine headache, backache, fever, and chills. And yet, YET! There is indeed a yet! The man cannot stop groping me. He is so sick that he can't stand up for 20 seconds without needing to barf, but he can summon the strength to grab my butt inappropriately. If he dies before I do, I can guarantee that while I'm saying my goodbyes over his coffin he will reach up his embalmed arms and squeeze my boobs.
It's been a long, tough week, and I thought it might be time to feature another hand-picked selection of some of the world's most condescending hatemail. Because there's nothing quite as fun as going back to read the email equivalent of hammering nails into your forehead.
Let's start with this one from Anonymous Chicken Liver:
Jon needs to get a real job again, and you need to be a real mom and raise your child without letting Jon and the babysitter, and family do it. do you even know how to, most importantly do you want to? You know you have NO idea what it means to be a stay home full time mommy. you've had so much help and people step in when you failed you missed so much of what your daughter had to give.
Maybe the reason people told you to quit whining is, It's all all YOU. You need meds for this, you're a loon, and you go to the physo ward, you blah, blah, blah. You know you have so many people kiss your ass you wouldn't know how to live without that kind of praise. If these people heard an everyday mother say how she couldn't wait for the next ten minutes to be over, how her own child drove her nuts and she didn't want to be around her. they would think horrible mean things about you. But because of blog celebrity they kiss your ass and hope you'll come to their blog. You have Cancer and it's sucks, my mother is 62 with four children and 11 grandchildren and she had Lung Cancer--she loves and raised us without my father who worked full time, without the help of others. She hasn't even shared it beyond the walls of our home. You need and want the sympathy. Good god, Heather grow the fuck up already.
Don't have more children; poor Leta is trying to figure out who's the mommy, Jon or the babysitter. Get another dog, they only live for about 15 years and wont pass along on things you've done to them to screw them up.
Oh, HI! Sorry. I fell asleep after the first paragraph. Nothing quite as thrilling as a long-winded hatemailer. They are so much more fun to read when brief and full of eye-catching punctuation. Like this one from Ronald:
You dog is STUPID!!!!!!!
That's a thoughtful critique, Ronald. The only adequate response to this would be: So is you mom!!!!!!!
Next up is one from Mia, a repeat hatemailer:
I mean really, do you have anything better to do with YOUR life than write about your dog licking plates and your husbands shoes? While I understand that cancer is scary (I'm 24 and had to have an ovary and a tumor the size of a grapefruit ON IT removed), you really cannot be suprised that people are a little put off by your tiny bit of "over drama" about a spot of skin cancer. I just think it's silly that you are saying others have no life, when your life is (other than family, which we all have) writing a blog. Look at things from someone else's point of view.
My only question is, why did she capitalize ON IT? Was that really necessary? The next time I want to scare the shit out of Jon I'm going to sneak up behind him while he's changing clothes, poke my finger in his butt and say, "Grapefruit ON IT!"
This next one is from CB, also a repeat hatemailer:
Stop playing the cancer card, Heather. It was okay in that first long post about it. But how stupid of you to mention it in the same sentence as your husband's clogs. You have no idea what it's like to really have cancer. Your bump on your arm could be serious, but chances are it's not. You're going too far for the sake of having something interesting to say. Shameful, Heather.
Where have I heard that before? Shameful, shameful... let me see... oh, I remember! IN THE LAST 75 EMAILS SHE HAS SENT ME.
Here's one from Tara:
You are not different then anyone else.
Maybe you doing better because you have a caring husband and a fruitful life style.
Why are you asking for money for doing what you do?
Why can't I learn from your doings?KIND REGARDS "' In sarcastic voice to myself"
Something tells me Tara doesn't speak English as a first language.
This next one has to be one of my favorite hatemails ever, from Janet:
How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert? Do you not see how this is how America gets fat? They eat to make themselve feel better, and they gain wait. It's not healthy, not at all.
I assume she's referring to this post. I see a masthead in my near future: dooce, leading cause of obesity in America.
Or how about one from repeat hatemailer, Robert:
Have you ever thought about renaming your site to AllAboutLeta.com? At least that would be a more accurate reflection of the subject matter of your web site. I check in, once in a blue moon, to see if you have written anything that would be interesting to someone who isn't raising a two year old. Your universe seems very, very small.
Once in awhile, you should just climb out of that rut and write about things beyond Leta, your perfect mom, the degenerate Mormons, and the like. There is a big world out here.
As an American I have a God-given right to believe that the world doesn't extend beyond my living room. That goes hand-in-hand with my right to buy a semi-automatic gun on sale at Wal-Mart.
This next one is from Bill:
If I have to see another “Mom says something witty to their kid†journal, I’ll probably hit myself in the stomach until I vomit my Capri Sun and ranch-flavored rice cakes all over my monitor.
Hookers are a dime a dozen, but mommy attention whore sites are a penny a truck load. You could do the world a favor and delete your site to make room for more interesting mommy blogs such as: www.ibeatmykidswithaspoon.com or www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.net or even www.whogivesashitaboutmykidsexceptme.cc. It might sound horrible, but much like the body of a motorcyclist wrapped around a telephone pole after he hit it at 90MPH, you just can’t help but stop and appreciate it.
In closing, please get off the Internet.
I was thinking more along the lines of www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net.
Reader, Brooklyn, has some burning complaints:
I previously delighted in reading your blog for your motherhood opinions and discussions of real issues, but now it's like who gives a fuck about the fact that boo hoo you have to have your sewer line replaced....please find the life you once had that had a more global outlook. I now check in occasionally to see your photos, which for the most part I believe are interesting photos taken by a talented woman. Please make an effort to make your writing the same. Oh, and for fucks sake, please move on...Chuck Fridays are miserably old...find a new theme. Perhaps you find your dog infinitely interesting, but the rest of us would like to see more photos that extend past your home and backyard.
Brooklyn, just for you, here is a picture of my dog in my backyard:
And another one from Mia:
Your site is boring now. You used to have so much to talk about, but in recent months, that has obviously dwindled. If you were writing this blog PURELY for yourself, you could say "Screw you, it's for me". But with the 272937 ads on the page, it's easy to see it's a site you're using to make money. So please, do something for your audience, and write something a bit more thought provoking than how much your dog likes pizza and how you feed your child mostly chocolate. I suspect the reason people continue to visit dooce.com is to see if MAYBE you've gone back to your old self. Just like no one cares about a wedding except for the bride, no one cares about a kid, unless it's theirs.
Whoa, wait a minute. Almost three hundred thousand ad units? I need to talk to my ad network. You're only supposed to see a couple of graphic ads! Try emptying your cache, Mia. Or maybe? Maybe you should get up slowly and walk away from your computer. Into the loving arms of oncoming traffic.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
301. MoFo said:
Oh my hell! I spotted (my pants) in one of your pictures the FRONT of your house! It's confirmed you do go beyond your backyard. Baby steps, nice and slow. ha ha ha ha! The hatemailers really need to get a life but they do make great entertainment.
302. KellyR2 said:
Huh. I was actually inspired by the medicating with legal substances one. We tried it ourselves. It works very very well.
303. JadedAngel said:
Ok. Im just going to put it out here as blunt as possible. I know some of you are older than me, but GROW UP! I am 19 and I havent been that childish since 1st grade and the days of Barney. Act your age. Please. If you need help leaving the site, just hit that big back button, or hit the big X on the top right hand side of your screen. Its that simple ladies and gents. To the writer of the blog, fuck them. Excuse my language, but thats the only thing to do. Again, forgive me for seeming rude, but this had to be said.
304. doctor tongue said:
Way to go on the groping, Jon! A devoted mate should never be too sick to grope - that's the real test of illness.
It brings to mind the little devil and angel on Pinto's shoulders in "Animal House".
305. jenjenqld said:
The hate mail make makes interesting reading for the readers, but must be a real drag for you!
Maybe a new masthead could be "click here if you don't like it" with a arrow pointing to the X button.
306. CyndiLou said:
First time commenting, and I haven't read the other 3000 comments, but my heart stopped at just the thought of seeing less of Chuck and Leta. Especially Chuck. I have my own beautiful children and dog, but secretly I would trade them for Chuck and Leta.
Probably not really, but please don't take their perfectness away from me because of some life-less losers.
307. MomVee said:
I wonder what it's like in the "physo ward." It's hard to say which aspect of these hate mails is more amazing, the rich array of misspellings or Anonymous Chicken Liver's firm conviction that real mothers get no help from anyone, including their husbands and their own mothers.
Brainteaser: is someone with a "fruitful lifestyle" more likely to have a tumor the size of a grapefruit?
308. Flambo said:
OMG, these people fucking suck! (Sorry I can't say anything more intelligent.) Heather, I really love your blog. And I know that while thousands of people tell you that, the handful of fuckers that will tell you otherwise are still such a pain in the ass. So, for what it's worth, know that what you do is special, that it means a lot to me and countless others, and that you, Jon, and Leta are beautiful people.
Dooce fans RULE!
309. KelliT61903 said:
How DARE you grow and change as an individual! You should really be ashamed of being able to make a kickass living, all while co-raising your daughter with your brilliant (albeit clog-wearing) husband. I find people like you--people that have lived an exciting life, found true love, had beautiful children, write with amazing style, and that are living a great life as home-business owners--boils on the butt of humanity.
310. victoria said:
Wow. I guess you can measure the impact of a blogger by the volume and venom of the hatemail thy generate.
311. Amby said:
Maybe you should start a "Douche on Dooce" section to post the "hate" mail.
Love your blog!
312. Erik said:
I seriously don't understand why people take time out of their days to write you hate mail.
Oh wait! I think I got it! So that hopefully you will post it and they, too, can be semi-famous on the internet!
I don't even know you, Heather, but I get so mad reading about the negative things people are saying about you! Whatever, at least you can go to sleep at night knowing this raging homo in New York city thinks you're awesome.
313. Imbrium said:
A couple commenters have already mentioned it, but it bears repeating...if you do not give us these poor peoples' e-mail addresses, how can we show them the error of their ways?
Stupidity should be painful.
314. dealwithit said:
Wow, those people suck! Personally, I thoroughly enjoy reading Dooce!
315. moonrattled said:
Every single one of those illiterates voted for George Bush. I can feel it.
316. Mab said:
They're off their rockers. When are people going to learn that blogs aren't all about the audience?
Hi, I'm Mab, and I'm a blog addict. So what? I don't get these hate mail people - it's such a waste of time and energy.
I'm a repeat love mail sender. I still love your writing, Heather!
317. samacon said:
Let's face it, the hate mailers got posted on a site they read every day (apparently). So, you tell me, who is the idiot?
I don't know about you, Oplopanax, but I got a pretty good laugh at their expense...
318. poptart said:
do hate mailers not understand that this is pure entertainment?! i suppose they think everything they read on the internet is true. oy! too bad ingnorance doesn't cause pain to the ignorant.
319. Elise said:
This is the reason I have to start a blog. Love reading the hate mail; it's what I imagine to be inside the head of the annoying person standing in front of me in line at the post office. I'm sure it's a pain to actually get the hate mail, but hey, thanks for keeping the the crazies off the streets.
320. Caitorade said:
ummmm, why? Why in the hell do people have impulses like that? "Let me act like a 3rd grade bully and hurt her feelings, so that I can cover up this feeling of jealousy that she can make a living doing something fun when I can't."
garsh.
321. tonysgirl said:
does anyone else notice that people who send hate mail can never spell anything right?....I can't believe people's lives are so meaningless that they feel the need to put down Heather's....I for one really enjoy everything you have to say Heather, keep it up
322. doog said:
Firefox can't find the server at www.billneedsagoodoneupthepooper.net.
--
WAH.
COME ON BILL!!!!
323. Lola said:
O Captain my Captain:
Seriously, do these people have NOTHING better to do than stalk your site?
You crack me up daily and hate to say it, even your hatemail had me rolling...
You rock!
324. Lola said:
O Captain my Captain:
Seriously, do these people have NOTHING better to do than stalk your site? Where's the love??
You crack me up daily and hate to say it, even your hatemail had me rolling...
You rock!
325. Erin Monahan said:
Oy 320 comments. So much for being hated!
I just realized that the quotes on my Google homepage include a quote by you! So I clicked your name under the quote, and found that you have a whole friggin' collection of quotes there. Haha!
So here's the quote, by Heather Armstrong, that seemed most pertinent to this post:
"People think they have the right to judge everything that I do." ~Heather Armstrong, Keynote Speech, SXSW 2006
326. Cyd said:
I don't know. It all seems so illogical. These people seem to think, mistakenly, that they're Heather's customers. Maybe it's related to the kind of consumer/entitlement mentality that's prevalent these days. It reminds me a bit of parents who'll jump down a teacher's throat for daring to give their little precious a bad grade--or people who threaten to sue somebody, anybody, at the drop of a hat.
The e-mailers in question clearly harbor frustrations beyond those caused by Heather's supposed deficiencies, and feel emboldened by the anonymity of the Internet. So much for civilized disagreement.
327. anne said:
Shame on these people! Do I need to use more of those exclamation marks? Those hate mails are a bit scary aren’t they? Don’t listen to the anger, don’t remember the mockery and don’t let the resentment influence Dooce. At the same time they are the reason I’m commenting for the first time, so something positive from it after all…
Hmmm… it’s a twisted reality.
Your writing is encouraging too lots of people, remember that.
love from anne, Oslo - Norway
328. Flubberwinkle said:
OK, hate-mailers, I have to ask...
1. Why do you ALL misspell?
I'm guessing that you are so overcome with fury that you don't even take the time to spellcheck your own venom before pressing the SEND button.
Can you spell d-e-l-i-r-i-u-m?
2. Why do you keep coming back for more Dooce at dooce.com if you don't like its subjects or its author?
Can you spell m-a-s-o-c-h-i-s-t?
3. I think it's inhumane and just plain despicable -for you low-life hate-mailers - to attack Heather and her recent exeprience with skin cancer. What kind of macabre people compare or weigh their cancers?
Can you spell s-a-d-i-s-t-i-c?
4. A real job?
As opposed to the one you, hate-mailers, have as "self-ordained Internet Gods": You, Heather, remove thyself from the Internet!, Stop writing about your child, your dog, your husband's clogs, your life on YOUR website!
Can you spell sense of h-u-m-o-u-r?
p.s. To blurbodoocery denizens: Do you think Chuck can break his record of 16 piece chicken jerky stacking?
Respect.
329. Jennifer said:
Funny thing. I don't have kids and I still visit your site daily. I find it funny, moving, and just generally entertaining.
Also, I'm with those that have requested that you publish their email addresses. Why not? They read the email policy and chose to send hatemail anyway.
330. Carrie Johnston said:
Dearest Heather,
I am not a mom. I am an active Mormon, and I have a testimony in it's truthfulness. I don't do mean things to my dog. But I think you're fucking hilarious! You have a great way with words; some of your imagery makes me fold in half with laughter. I love your honesty and the way you talk about your family. Don't change a thing. Fuck all the haters! They are stupid.
Now, I'm going to go into the living room and tell my bishop dad that I just typed "fuck" a lot.
331. ihave2girls said:
Heather, I think what you have accomplished is awesome. I have enjoyed your site for a long time now. I think it's hilarious that these people actually think you give a shit about their petty comments. Why do they come back again and again if they think you suck so bad? Oh, and I vote for that new mast head about how you are causing obesity. THAT! hatemail was the funniest. Ever. Keep up the brilliant work!
332. issa said:
Hmmmm funny, I actually enjoy hearing about Leta....but maybe I'm nuts because I have kids too. Maybe it is a disease, a kid friendly disease. Do you think it's catching?
I find the hatemail you get to be so freaking funny, but I know it must suck to get it. Don't worry, they are just jealous that no one reads them. And then I have to wonder why they would bother to continue to send you hate mail? Boggles the mind.
Dooce, keep doing what you do. I enjoy it.
333. emily2otters said:
if only i didn't waste so much of my time on the internet telling people they were wasting my time... if only i didn't have to write such long, confessional emails in order to discourage others from writing long, confessional blog posts... if only i weren't required to sit on my ass criticizing other people's dietary habits... just think! world peace! a cure for AIDS! the great american novel!
damn you, dooce. why do you hate freedom?
334. silence said:
I think what you mean is... "Here is a picture of my backyard, with my dog ON IT!!"
335. monkeyaker said:
Why do these apeshit losers continue to read your website if they hate it so much? Can't they just, um, try NOT typing in "www.dooce.com" one day?
And for the record, I don't have children, am not Mormon, am not married, and have very little in common with you in general, but find your writing absolutely fascinating. Pizza, dogs, vomit, cancer, and all.
Maybe you should post their email addresses and we can all send them emails about giving advice to total strangers who didn't ask for it!
336. DominEditrix said:
Let's see - my two-year-old is 21, I prefer cats, my Significant Studmuffin doesn't have Hanta or Lyme disease or the plague, and yet Dooce is one of my bookmarked blogs. Clearly, something is wrong with me.
I'm going to go stack wheat thins on my nose until I am cured.
Anyone for starting the Church of Chuck? With rice cakes and Milkbones and a shot of tequila?
337. Mark7r0n said:
Damn.
What I don't understand is this is a website; it is not some unavoidable pain in people's lives that they cannot deal with in any other way than explosions of angy emails. Why would a person masochistically come to a website he or she hates and then feel the need to vent. Most masochists just get a boner or something, but they don't complain, they like getting kicked in the junk and smacked around. So I guess these people aren't even masochists, just kind of insane in the fact that they repeatedly come to the website, hate it, and bitch but expect a different outcome. Now, capitulating to this contemptuous and confounding cacophony of caca, (alliteration, YEAH!) that would get you some serious hatemail.
338. Manda said:
Those who do not enjoy Chuck Fridays are probably terrorists.
339. Heidi said:
I will have you know that I created a typekey account just to comment on your blog today so I could say...
1. I read every day, and find your dog licking plates,clogs,2 year old cute as pie Leta singing her abc's, wonderfully fascinating.
2 Mean people suck! Occasionally I will run across a website/blog I don't enjoy and then I do something magical... I click this wonderful little red box with an X in it and ***POOF*** it all goes away....hope these assholes learn to do it too..
Keep on keepin' on Heather girl.
Heidi
340. beckyz said:
I'm loven your site. And because it is YOUR site (see, I can type in caps, too!) I would hope that you continue to write about whatever it is that you need to write about.
While I want to say "don't change a thing", it is YOUR site. Do what you damn well please. I have a feeling I will keep coming back for more. Especially if Chuck and Leta and Husband with clog issues are prevalent. But it will be my choice.
Tomorrow I will volunteer, as I do each year, at a golf outing to raise fund for skin cancer research. Yes, people die from skin cancer. Yes, people live through it. But for some schmuck to insinuate that they know how cancer will effect your body??!? Unfuckingbelievable.
Stay true to you.
341. di said:
Hate-mailers need to go back on their meds, or get the self-righteous stick out of their butt and inquire about meds. (As a med-taker, this is coming from the kindest of places.) Everyone is the center of their own universe, so why can't these people focus on their own instead of lashing out at yours? At least this makes me happy that I don't live in such a horrible place where I have to spread festering hatred to people I don't know.
342. far and away the farthest said:
These must be the people who throw bricks through other people's windows. Don't you wish they would threaten never to speak to you again and follow through? I think I would be tempted to banner for a month as 'The Physo Ward -- It's Not Healthy!'
343. Alaska Chick said:
Though these people are blindingly pathetic, it should occur to them that their hysterical comments only add entertainment value to your website. Or maybe not.
344. J P said:
Shame on you, Heather, for writing about your, you know, LIFE.
It's funny, though...I happen to have a CHOICE of what sites I read or stop reading. It's like you have taken that from them. Apparently they're bitter.
I didn't know you had such control.
345. Cassie said:
lol... chime in from a 24 year old professional woman who also loves cats... doesn't have kids, or a relationship currently... and I still think you rock. :)
I think simply "ON IT" would make an entertaining masthead, as well.
346. stepblog said:
Um, I'm sorry, why do these people read your blog if it makes them so incredibly, and with various degress of articulate-ness, angry?
347. msadventures said:
Anyone know what we do with chicken livers in the south?
We deep fry and eat them.
Just a thought.
348. darlene.marasco said:
This is the first time I've ever commented but I just had to. I don't understand why people like this leave you hatemail. I think you're hilarious, smart, a great writer, a fabulous storyteller, and you have an incredible family. I check your site every day after a hard day of work and it always has me smiling and laughing. I don't know how anyone can find fault with what you choose to share and write about.
I'm 23, single, no kids, but I do have animals. You could write about Leta and Chuck every damn day and I would STILL read you. It doesn't hurt that's she's absolutely gorgeous and he's freakin' adorable. I adore you, I adore your site, and I say screw all the jerks who don't enjoy your site.
Oh, and about your deep hate for Crocs, I feel your pain. I'm a chef, and the other day my manager came into work wearing, I kid you not, NEON GREEN Crocs. They were an abomination and I couldn't help but think of what you would say about those.
And If I haven't said it enough, you're awesome. Sorry to have written a short novel.
349. PixieStix said:
Chuck rocks! Long live Chuck!
350. Amie Kitchen said:
Puppies and babies and ice cream, oh my!
Truly, you must be the anti-christ...this website is evil. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!
Not really. But the ice cream and cookies and candy thing? Definitely. Very. Evil.
351. tiny said:
i feel sorry for these people, their fathers abandoned them, and their cancers are bigger than everyone elses
352. Rachael said:
The stupidity of those people amazes me. Somehow they think that their opinion is supposed to matter in your life. And that their sharing their annoyance will affect how you live, or think, or write. Some people. I don't know about them. I feel sorry for their families and spouses.
I have neither a mormon past or a two year old or a husband that wears clogs (though I do have a passion for them) and I think you are amazing. Your entries make me smile and occasionally laugh out loud. Keep going. And keep torturing the dog.
353. gillthebean said:
I feel like I just have to add my two cents' worth just to try and un-do all the horridness of the hate mail: Dooce, you rock. I love reading your blog. You are a thoughtful, funny, kick-ass woman. Your daughter is beautiful and so-intelligent and your husband is one-in-a-gazillion. Your photographs aren't too bad either. ;)
354. in2deep said:
wow this is the first time i visited your blog and i have never seen so many people commenting on anyones blog.
i would love for you to read about my life and my experiences. and if and when you visit, do leave a message.
and dont listen to these people. they think their opinion is supposed to matter and make a difference in your life.
keep rolling!
355. JerCore said:
Holy hell. Something my old man used to say comes to mind when I read that hatemail you receive:
It's about as useful as tits on a boar hog.
Keep pissing people off, and posting it out for us to see how damn dumb people are.
356. Maiken said:
So very much could be said about this particular post. I will stick to the basic reason I pull up this site every day: I like your website whether I agree with you or not.
I would adore a friend such as yourself for simply being honest and being okay with someone who is not a robot.
Long live Dooce!
357. Caloden said:
I thought that parenting was purely about surviving the next ten minutes. Is there any other way?
358. caterwauling said:
I've been reading your blog roughly since about the beginning of this year and have only now been spurred to comment.
I just want to say thank you for writing in such an honest, inspiring, and funny way. Reading about your family and your experiences always brings a smile to my face even if sometimes that smile comes with a tear in my eye.
I hope that you continue writing about the things that matter the most to you because, ultimately, that is what makes reading your blog worthwhile.
Thanks again.
-A
P.S. Chuck is one of the most incredible dogs I have ever had the pleasure to read about/see pictures and video of - I hope someday I am lucky enough to find a dog as amazing!
359. KristieD said:
good god, these people really have nothing better to do than to waste their time telling you how much you suck?? they seriously need a life. or their own blogs where people can email them and tell them that they suck. if they dont like why keep coming back? i think some people are just innately mean and thrive on it.
i, for one, adore you site. i love the stories you choose to share and hope you continue to do things the way you want them done. keep up the great work!
360. Yummy said:
Holy comments!! I think that this alone gives you a really good idea how many more people love you and your blog, than those who don't.
This is the first time I have ever commented on your site. I love it. I keep coming back for more everyday. You make me laugh and you make me smile. Everyday.
361. barbie2be said:
um.... people DO understand that they don't HAVE to read your blog if they don't want to, right?
362. Lara said:
What?!? These people are fools. Chuck is my HERO!
But seriously, these people need to get a life. If you don't like something, DON'T READ IT. Sigh.
363. Jen said:
No matter what the hate mail may say about YOU, there's no way anyone who wastes the time and energy to write emails about this kind of crap has any kind of life. Why bother writing in to complain about what you talk about on your website? "ENTERTAIN ME IN A WAY I SEE FIT!" Wouldn't it just be easier to stop reading altogether? Or start living these kinds of lives they think you should have?
You're awesome, Heather. And um, Chuck is NOT stupid! But what a great piece of hatemail, Ronald.
364. Heather said:
Oh, please, don't get rid of Chuck Fridays! It's the closest thing my boys will have to owning there own dog until we leave Germany. You would just crush those poor defensless souls! And then, I would have to get them a dog, so then I would be crushed. But please in the future, refrain from any personal comments on your own blog. I mean really, woman, what are you thinking?!
365. kerri said:
I'm sorry you have to deal with such a continuous barrage of people verbally shitting in your inbox. Apparently they don't know email from their own toilets. But you never cease to entertain; love! your thick skin and your sense of humor. Hang in there.
366. Michele Hudson said:
Wow. It is so sad that so many people waste their time complaining about your site. I for one enjoy the honesty your writing shows.
I just want to add my voice of support. Keep doing what you are doing. Tell your stories; share your thought and pictures. It's nice to know there are seemingly normal, although boring to some, lives out there in these crazy times.
I happily send your entertaining pictures of Chuck to my friends and family, just to make them laugh. So, thank you!
367. GraceLP said:
Geez, maybe all those people that send disparaging remarks should stop reading your website? Duh? It's obvious that they have nothing more to do with their time than criticize you and your lifestyle. I LOVE ALL the pictures of Chuck that you post and Leta is absolutely beautiful.
Some people just have nothing more to do with their lives than bitch about others . . . pathetic, eh?
368. Diana Schnuth said:
Without reading all 360-some comments before mine:
Poor grammar and punctuation and spelling are collectively one of my pet peeves. (Despite the fact that I tend to use sentence fragments for stylistic purposes.) 'Nuff said.
Regarding your content: there is a massive number of bloggers (myself included) who write about our own lives. Not about a particular topic, like IT or gardening or tech toys, but about stuff that happens to us, or stuff we remember, or stuff we know. There is a much smaller number of bloggers like Heather (myself NOT included) who manage to make everyday life interesting to the masses, rather than just our friends who moved out-of-state.
IMO, your popularity is directly related to your witty and personable writing style, and your (and your husband's) clean yet unique designs. I'd say the percentage of nay-sayers is probably ridiculously small, compared to the number of us who love your site but rarely speak up about it.
Don't let the bastards get you down.
369. MissGayle said:
Your blogs are written for entertainment.
Not for educational purposes, not as a role model, not to be taken seriously 97.875% of the time, and definitely not to be taken out of context.
Your life may not be more interesting than others' lives, but you have a knack for writing about it that keeps people coming.
As for the cancer, not everything in life has to be taken so frikkin' seriously. Isn't it a blessing to be able to find light in dim circumstances? Plus, is not like you're going to bear your soul to all of us - that is your life - we just get a glimpse of the really juicy stuff.
I think people need to stop taking offense to what you write about and just enjoy it for what it is:
Fun reading.
370. Bodnoirbabe said:
Wow. I've never had to go through so much to comment on anyones blog before.
Anyhow, it's well worth it.
Dooce, I don't even know if you're still reading the comments at this point, but I just wanted to let you know that I love your site. I've been reading it for two years now and everytime I come back to check, I'm delighted to see your fresh look on life.
You make me excited to be a mother. Actually, you're the cool mother I've always wanted to be.
I know I'm just a small fish in an ocean full of sharks, but I hope that it makes you happy to know that someone out there is addicted to what you're doing.
371. nyabg said:
I think I may have left a comment here once, a few years ago. However, I read your site daily (or as often as you post). Why? Because I like how you write. It's obvious you are at times writing in jest, or 'dressing' things up - and that's what's appealing. Also, I love your monthly letters to Leta. They are beautiful. Those hate-mailers need to get a life. If they don't like your site - don't come. Simple. Or so you'd think. With the millions of other site's to visit, why would they waste their time going to a site they don't like? I don't. Peace out;-)
372. Be Still said:
These emails strike me as overly moralistic. I'm amazed at the writers' compulsion to set you straight about your behavior.
I suppose that's probably because they have not had a very good life. Happy people don't act like this.
So a note to the trolls: Someone hurt you somewhere along the way, which really sucks. I don't know who, but it wasn't Heather. So leave her alone.
373. Raindrop said:
Hate mail NEVER fails to provide amusement.
374. chistranger said:
Heather-
It always rattles me to read things like this. I know you will hear it from many others as well, but I really appreciate what you do. When I get overwhelmed by all those little things in life, your site is a reminder that I can handle it and, in the end, even laugh about it. Life can be scary at 25, but you make me look forward to the future.
cheers from chicago
- alw
375. JustRae said:
Now, while I'm sure that my input wont make much of a difference in the land of Dooce, I'd just like to say that I'm a fifteen year old girl living in Liverpool, England and thus have barely anything in common with you bar kick ass music taste and a penchant for writing, but yet, I do indeed visit your blog daily.
Simply because it is wonderful. Your beautiful child is wonderful. Your patient dog is wonderful. Your honesty and your strength are both wonderful too and your skills, being wonderful like most other things, make your writing an absolute pleasure to read. I can't pinpoint what it is exactly that makes your every day life so interesting to me but there's definitely a spark there and it all stems from your family.
This is my first comment and I like to think that I've waited until I could say something somewhat worthwhile to take the plunge.
[I would also like to appologise for the fact that... my God, I do go on.]
376. heartbreaker said:
I loooooove you, Dooce.
377. Kate said:
My only question is, why did she capitalize ON IT? Was that really necessary? The next time I want to scare the shit out of Jon I’m going to sneak up behind him while he’s changing clothes, poke my finger in his butt and say, “Grapefruit ON IT!â€
Ohmygosh, I just snorted!
378. twest said:
While those ranting lunatics need some fist medicine I will say that I think your archives are far better reading than the last 4-5 months. But that's subjective, right?
My favourite posts by far are your monthly newsletters to Leta.
I check your and DGM every day - thanks for the laughs.
379. Erin said:
Seems to me if someone hates reading your site enough to write such hateful emails, they could just STOP FUCKING READING IT! But then, what do I know?
380. b said:
I like how all these fucktards are repeat offenders. Pity they have so much free time. I just want to thank you for entertaing/enraging them and giving them something to do so they don't go and do something silly like procreate. The last thing we need is miniature obese dumbshits roaming la internet.
381. shannon said:
Oh no! Does this mean we have at last taken up all of the Internet real estate and if I want to start www.ibeatmykidswithaspoon.com or www.IemailbloggersIdontlikecuzIgotnolife.com, then someone else has to GET OFF THE INTERNET to make room for me? I had no idea we had come to such a sad state of affairs! I had better delete my petty little personal blog to make room for more important websites, like www.yetanotherpornsite.com because no one really cares about the lives of individuals anymore, even when they are awesome and funny and have really cool lives.
382. Carrie said:
Holy crap, if you got rid of Chuck Fridays, I don't think I could make it through the rest of the week! Chuck Fridays is my official kickoff to the weekend!!!!
383. melusina said:
You really have to wonder about people who complain about what people write about on their own damn blogs. Obviously, they have a choice whether to read it or not, not to mention they have the choice not to spend their time sending you a letter about how much they think you suck.
I'm sure it is because deep, deep down, they want the acceptance of dooce. They want to be loved by dooce. And maybe, if they get very lucky, dooce will share their imbecilic vitriol with the world.
384. Amanda B. said:
Oh my GOD dude. This has me laughing so hard I think I pulled something. Here, allow me to engage in some of the ass kissing:
Despite all of the negativity hoisted your way you manage to handle yourself with grace and humor. Despite all the hate and jealousy aimed towards you, you are still kind and down to earth. And despite the fact that you do in fact have and amazing husband, a beautiful daughter, and a killer job, you are still motivated to do good work and remain humble.
In other words, You Fucking Rock.
385. Mary Anne said:
Heather,
The funniest hatemail I ever received was:
"Why do you keep talking about yourself on your website?"
Enough said.
Keep doing what you're doing, Heather.
386. wrensuicide said:
Seriously?! What the hell is the matter with these people? I really enjoy your blog, Heather.
387. Mrs.S said:
I'm SO GLAD you choose to share these with us. I think the hate-mail posts are among my favorite... second only to the ones about Chuck and Leta and Jon's ugly clogs.
What I don't understand is why all these people who send you hate mail read your site? You'd think that if they really hated it that much, they'd do something intelligent, like hit the big red X in the upper right-hand corner.
388. aggie75 said:
dooce - i LOV ya! take CARE of clog-boy, LETA-lee, and chuckie-BABY. keep on KEEPING on, dudette. SORRY about the CAPS, i have type-tourettes SYNDROM...not CANCER but to each our OWN. i would have COMMENTED sooner but i had to CLICK on your 272937 ADS and that TAKES a while. i am so tired, i THINK i will get off the INTERNET now... slowly backing AWAY...mouse is DOWN...ahhhhhhh
HARMON
389. melba said:
Heather:
You are awesome. Don't worry about these crazy idiots.Your writing is awesome - you have made me laugh and cry.
I just don't understand how you get these people who don't like you to read your site. Please let me know how you do that!
Melba
390. Carcharodonna said:
Oh my god. Those are hysterical! I read your site daily and love everything about it. I can't imagine the gnarled psyches of people who take the time to read sites and comment about how much they hate them. I guess it goes without saying that they could choose not to, but without all their hate, what might they have left? Anyway, hope Jon gets better, and since this is the first time I'm commenting, want to say what a great family you have, and how much I truly love the way you write, and what you write about.
391. Franay said:
Wow. I had no idea that there were so many people out there with such empty, sad, pathetic lives. People that are so bored they feel driven to be the blog police, to critique someone's personal blog on which they may blog about whatever the hell they please. Blog being short for web-log of course which suggests an online journal which would naturally be about the person writing it.
Wow. How frigging absurd.
Love your site, by the way.
392. Tarin said:
I was just telling my wife yesterday, as we drove with our two kids to the beach, about your writing and how it reads...so full of doom you are, seeing what it is that is right there in front of us all and yet, with every turn, there is great hope. Not for the bang that that hope gets, but that it emminates from you. And by God, I see it. And feel it. And you're on to something. Don't let those nay sayers chase you away. We need you to simply BE about whatever it is you are being about and then, each time, for no reason other than it is what bubbles up in you, you remain hopeful.
393. Karan said:
I think that Linda is the new Emily LaTella.
394. Leask said:
I might just register www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.net if it's not already taken.
395. JavaJabber said:
holyfuckingshit! (sorry...it had to be said)
Hate mail?
I mean, really...
Ignorant people are just everywhere.
Mike Straka (FOXnews.com) has a column online ... he calls these type of folks "Oblivians."
396. Katie said:
I wonder why these people keep coming to read your site if it ruins their lives so much? It's so much easier to NOT visit a site than to visit it.
Hmm. Amazing.
I love your stuff. And if I'm ever not interested in something you're writing, I don't read it! And I wait for something I do want to read! And it's okay! I'm not bothered! I don't mind! I appreciate your talent and don't hold it against you if you're writing about something I'm not interested in! And I'm sure you don't hold it against me!
Talk about expanding world views... these people need to pick up a newspaper and realize there are more important things to life than b*tching at a blogger.
I heart Chuck Fridays. And monthly newsletters. And daily photos. And hilariously good writing. Keep it up.
397. megan said:
Gold star for me! I'm commenting for the first time ever here (after months and months of lurking), but I gotta say, I LOVED reading the hate mail! A freakin' riot, all of them!!!! (Overuse of the ! was intended as an homage as well as purposeful mockery of those over-using.).
You've got to love the passion of a person that takes the time to share with you their disgust and yet do it with numerous grammatical errors and misspelled words! So rich ...
398. infeatheredeyes said:
I like how sand and sun are making people fat.
399. FashMags said:
Heather:
Love you, love your blog, love your dog, hate the clogs - keep on doing what you do sistah! Fight the cancer, fight the power, f*ck the morons.
Best regards from Boston,
-Lori
400. Elyse said:
Heather, you, your darling husband, the delightful Former Congressman Chuckles, and your beyond wonderful daughter are pure joy to me. Please keep writing! Even if it's about farts, stains, backyards, plumbing, GEORGE! -- wait, ESPECIALLY if it's about farts, stains, backyards, plumbing, and GEORGE!. 99.9% of us adore you and dance upon your funny comments, keep up the good work!
Forever Yours,
<- Elyse in Atlanta
401. dananico said:
I haven't laughed that hard since 1982. My particular favorite was the post from Tara (?) the supposed foreigner. I was trying to read it to my boyfriend but I couldn't stop laughing to get it out. My stomach hurts..."Maybe you doing better because you have a caring husband and a fruitful life style..." this is the lined that absolutely killed me and I don't know why. Just so ridiculous and hilarious and I hate most people but I start to love then when I read hate mail.
402. dananico said:
also, my last comment reads like a drunk person wrote it. I'm so glad I was an English major.
403. the niffer said:
I think these are hilarious. (Of course, it's way more funny when it's aimed at someone else.) What we do without hate-mailers? What would the Daily Show do without Bush? I think we'd lose a very important piece of the show.
Please don't listen to them, especially regarding Chuck Fridays.
Perhaps you could start Hate-Mail Mondays?
Keep up the great work.
404. Emily said:
I'm surprised that a lot of those hate-mailers are EXPECTING you to constantly entertain them with something interesting to say. I'll admit, I find some of your entries less interesting than others purely because of the subject matter, but I enjoy your sense of humor and keen sense of observation so much that I pretty much DO enjoy all of your entries- some less than others, yeah; but I keep coming back for a reason: because I like it! My question to the repeat hate-mailers is: If they don't like it, why do they keep reading it?
405. Shalini said:
I think the hatemailers really love your site. They have nothing better to do but to look at your site and write hatemail about it (some of them repeatedly).
Chuck is cute, Jon is cool, Leta is adorable, and if you never talk about anything outside of Utah or your backyard I will always read :)
Keep going Heather and tell the rest of them to fuck themselves.
406. Arianne said:
I was about to send hate mail about the lack of Croc posts...but the Chuck (aka Amazing Balancing Guy) video saved you, for now. That video warranted many viewings, and the anticipating of the licking of the lips was the best part of those additional veiwings.
I'm concerned about how offended Chuck must feel right now. I mean, STUPID? Low blow, man. Low. Blow.
407. ldfriedman said:
OH, good grief! Your an incredible Mom, Chuck is an awesome Dog and Jon, well he's kinda cute. (Even if he is old enough to be my dad!)
I love your blog and the monthly news letters to Leta make me cry.
Ignore the hate mail and keep on doing what you do best.
408. Stephanie Wilkens said:
Please don't make me gain wait.
I HATE to wait!
409. cate said:
Why can’t I learn from your doings?
Why can’t I learn from your doings?
Why can’t I learn from your doings?
Why can’t I learn from your doings?
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
IT'S THE QUESTION WE ALL NEED TO ASK OURSELVES!
Seriously.
Heart you.
smooch.
410. Beaglemama said:
Dooce, you are a star for giving us all a laugh by publishing your hate mail. A laugh and a bellyful of righteous indignation at the sheer inanity of such ignorant twits. Actually there are things I hate too. I hate poking my eye with a sharp stick. You know what? I hate it so much I don't do it. (Hate mailers - this is a lesson for you to learn). And remember too, for every whinger, there are hundreds more who love Dooce's blog. Long live Chuck - the most expressive dog in the entire universe!
411. Candice said:
I wish people would send me hate-mail. It's so silly and fun.
But seriously, I wonder if people realize how stupid they sound when they rant about things like "gaining wait" and your "fruitful life style". Are they seriously so angry that they can't even type full or intelligible sentences?
People. are. insane.
And by the way, if you stopped writing about Leta or Chuck, I think I would maybe, possibly, kinda, sorta cry.
412. Meranath said:
WTF? This is blowing my mind..
There are obviously a lot of people who take a good chunk of time out of their day to read a website they don't like, and then sit down and write a nasty letter about. And you know if there's people doing it for this site, then there's gotta be a ton of others.
Could you imagine.. if everyone who did shit like this instead used that time toward a worthy cause? My god! We'd have a cure for cancer and AIDS, and the PBS stations would be a lot better funded.
413. hannah said:
Okay, I couldn't deal with reading the 400+ comments already on here.. So I'm just going to say what I want to regardless if it has already been said.
I'm wondering about the lives that these "haters" lead. I get that dooce might not be for everyone, but why go through the trouble of letting the author know it? How 'bout just closing the damn browser?? OR just don't visit the site in the first place then get enraged about it!
I still like ya, Heather. And I would hope, that you receive a fair amount of love and fan mail too.
414. roguephotog said:
I wanted to hatemail on all the hatemailers!
I read your site for your take on the world; it's your unique sense of humor that makes me laugh out loud and share it with my boyfriend. It's wonderful that you appreciate the small things you have time for, like taking a walk in the evening as a family.
Your posts to Leta each month? If only more parents had the time to do something so beautiful and thoughtful for their children. (And funny.)
415. Stacey said:
Since those fucking morons won't be visiting dooce.com anymore, why not print their email addresses so we can give them something else to read instead? A day without your site, Leta, Jon and Chuck just wouldn't be complete. Your photography skills are AMAZING and I wish you'd talk more about what moves you to take the pics you do and how you choose which to publish to the site. I'm pretty much with everyone else. Fuck 'em. You AND your family rock.
416. RichSim said:
I just don't understand how the haters can suggest that this SITE IS not useful.
Where else would I learn that I can clean my clogs in the dishwasher?
(Should I ever get clogs.)
(Or a dishwasher.)
417. Sugarsnap said:
In a world that sucks on a daily basis, your blog adds a breath of fresh air. That is why you have so many followers. You have set the bar pretty high for the rest of us. Don't change a thing and if people don't like it, they don't have to read it. It's that easy.
418. izzy said:
I can't understand why people who hate what you write continue to read dooce. Duh..... They need to shop around. I enjoy that you have links to other blogs. Some are right up my alley. Some are not. I'm a big girl and no one is MAKING me read any blog.
419. izzy said:
I can't understand why people who hate what you write continue to read dooce. Duh..... They need to shop around. I enjoy that you have links to other blogs. Some are right up my alley. Some are not. I'm a big girl and no one is MAKING me read any blog.
420. Krishanna said:
Hey Heather-
Someone thought you should have a new theme on Fridays. I think Chuck Fridays are cool. Leave them alone. How about having ,say, 'TARD Tuesdays where you feature these gems of intellectual and grammatical prowess. I personally would enjoy 'Tard Tuesdays. How about that? Heh.
A fan and longtime reader-
Krishanna
421. CariP said:
"How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert? Do you not see how this is how America gets fat? They eat to make themselve feel better, and they gain wait. It’s not healthy, not at all."
I don't ever comment, but I was rolling on the floor laughing at the hate-mailers, Janet in particular.
Janet. Dear Janet. Let us recall 3rd grade spelling shall we? Dessert has 2 "S"es in it - like Strawberry Shortcake. The desert, alas, only one - like sand. Eating the desert doesn't make us fat. It will, however, make us very thirsty. And possibly constipated.
422. TeIka said:
I read your blog because, unlike the many other 'women's blogs' out there, you are not gushing about how motherhood made you a valid human being. I like it because it shows you are a mother who loves her kid unerringly, and is still normal! By normal I mean freaked out, bored, confused, ecstatic, amused and wondering from moment to moment if the world will find out that you are not really perfect after all. This is why your website is so popular - it's because you are making women everywhere feel OK about loving their kids to bits and making the rest up as they go along.
423. toddlermama said:
I have a suggestion for the hate-mailers. Instead of taking the time to read blogs you obviously dislike and to send nasty e-mails, why not spend your time e-mailing a soldier overseas (google that -- there are tons of sites)? Or doing something, anything, to help someone in need somewhere...? Since these folks obviously have a depth of knowledge to share with humanity, there must be some way to do so in a positive, beneficial way. But that's just my suggestion, down here rapidly approaching the 500s...
LOVE the blog, Heather -- even if I don't agree with or support everything you write, it's fantastic entertainment. Plus, if I wanted to read only like-minded BS, I could write my own blog. ; )
424. faridz said:
Someone was saying how he/she wanted you to get rid of Chuck Fridays or something like that? Start up a new segment specially for the haters! now thatll proper get to them!
425. cailey said:
Heather-
First of all, I am so sorry you have to read things like that. Do your hatemailers have nothing better to do with their time than guzzle capri sun and insult someone (and their family) that they do not even know? It's ridiculous. And I love how nearly all of them assume that they know what your other readers think. I agree none of that.
The hatemailers all seem to have some grammatical issues which further ruin their accusations. And they insult your writing? I really hope that you continue to write as you do. I enjoy it.
Just so you (and your hatemailers) know, I am not a parent-I'm a college student and I love your daughter and your dog. Go ahead and write about them all you want. You don't need to have a two-year-old in order to find her entertaining.
426. Mom O Matic said:
Can't wait till my blog gets popular enough for some hate mail. Till then I'll just crack up reading yours.
ON IT!
Lotta
427. Lulu said:
I love the hate mail posts....how can you not with lines like this?
KIND REGARDS â€â€™ In sarcastic voice to myselfâ€
I am still laughing.
I love your blog Heather, and my favourite posts are usually your monthly letters to Leta.
428. catnip said:
I laughed out loud at the "desert," one too, once I got to the second sentence. I was merely puzzled after the first sentence, trying to remember when you ever suggested desert living as a cure for stress.
429. thleen said:
People really are amazing.
America finally has someone to blame besides fast food companies and convenience stores and their Big Gulp sodas and processed foods in your grocer's freezer: finally you have been recognized, Heather, as the reason alot of America is obese. Aha!
I knew after that post about chocolate that I would not be responsible for my actions of creating my own high caloric masterpiece.
Now there are answers to this national problem of obesity.
I just wonder who they blame for the super sized ignorance.
Oh, yeah, and by the way........
CHUCKS RULES!
430. fixedupgirl said:
"F*ck the naysayers because they don't mean a thing, because this is what style we bring."
I think 311 had something there.
I like your style, Heather.
431. thefirecat said:
I'm particularly loving this little bit of tripe:
"Stop playing the cancer card, Heather. It was okay in that first long post about it. But how stupid of you to mention it in the same sentence as your husband’s clogs. You have no idea what it’s like to really have cancer. Your bump on your arm could be serious, but chances are it’s not. You’re going too far for the sake of having something interesting to say. Shameful, Heather."
Yes, Heather, that's right, you're only imagining that you have a potentially deadly disease.
???????? Reality check please. It's like Gertrude Stein. Cancer is cancer is cancer. It's scary and painful no matter where it is, or what kind it is. BECAUSE IT'S YOURS.
COULD be serious? Nope, not serious. It's, what, just a completely casual form of unserious cancer. And god forbid you lessen the plight of your husband's shoes by mentioning this completely un-serious disease in the same sentence.
May I have permisson to borrow one of Jon's clogs, so that I may stuff it up the appropriate orifice of above-quoted asinine poster? Jeezh.
PS, I *so* have a crush on your dog. We lost ours about a year ago (she's at least still alive....somewhere.....) and I've been living vicariously through Chuck.
432. thefirecat said:
Oh...yeah...hope we were all wearing our sarcasm goggles for that.
Just checkin...
433. JustLinda said:
Four hundred and thirty comments?? I think I'd orgasm if I got that many. I'm a comment whore, though. I'm also a shameless Dooce fan and I love reading your stuff... I've only found you within the past year. Keep doing what you're doing and take your entertainment from the haters. It blows my mind that people would take the time to write a complaint instead of just surfing on and never looking back.
Someday, I'll have a hater and I'll know I made it. Ha! Today is my one year anniversary of blogging.
Did you know I wrote you a tribute poem? hahaha Yes, it's true... (and yes, I take personal credit for you starting to put your comments back on again. My ego is THAT huge!)
Can I post the link for my tribute poem??? If not, delete me - I'd take no offense: http://justlinda.net/blog/2006/02/02/case-study-what-does-brown-nosing-g...
434. Dogmom said:
I had a dream recently about Heather and Leta and motherhood and expensive whiskey, in that order. And let me tell you it was the most interesting thing that's happened to me in a long time. And I hope to dream about it again.
435. Anne L. said:
Why, oh why won't the haters just STOP READING if they hate it so much? Why?
Dooce, you rock.
436. Jennifer said:
I agree with Anne, you rock. Just keep doing what you've been doing... I would visit whether you had ads or not, whether you write about Leta or Chuck or world peace or whatever. The thing I like best is HOW you write, not WHAT you write. :)
437. bomnomore said:
Wow Heather. 433 LUVAS! ;-) And I love your precious Leta. You will pass wonderful mothering qualities to her. Don't listen to those 'tards. You're a good Momma.
438. Smacky said:
I love you, Dooce. You too Blurb.
Oh, and that last girl was wrong. I care about Leta! She's fun to see in photos and the occaisional video. There aren't ANY little toddlers around here, so it's great to see your kid doing all the kid stuff I find so adorable.
And can you tell GEORGE! the mysterious AIM girl says hi?
439. SarahLou said:
They are holding out the hope that if they repeatedly bash everything you say you'll change your writing, shut down your blog and maybe they'll one day be as articulate or Ruler of the Universe ON IT!
Clearly, they can't learn from your doings!
440. SarahLou said:
They are holding out the hope that if they repeatedly bash everything you say you'll change your writing, shut down your blog and maybe they'll one day be as articulate or Ruler of the Universe ON IT!
Clearly, they can't learn from your doings!
441. JustLinda said:
Oh, I forgot to say... I TOTALLY agree with the haters that dooce dot com sucks. It's so passe... really, just a waste of readers time. I think people should come to MY blog instead.
Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket....
442. shaz said:
I was so worked up about this, I had to blog! :)
comments here...
http://adventures-in-motherhood.com/article/controversal-mommy-blog
sorry, no trackback.
443. Lady Bug said:
Over 430 comments, so maybe this is already been said, but...
Perhaps the reason your life is so *fruitful*, as Tara observed, is because it has a grapefruit ON IT?
444. AndreaBT said:
Holy. Freakin'. Cow.
I have no expectation that you, Heather, would visit my blog just because I comment here. I comment because 1) comments are open (today anyway!) and 2) I like what I read here and 3) there have been times when the comment page was absolutely a ROCKIN' place to be (refresh. refresh. refresh again. Bucky, Nilbo, Susie, Mrtl, and all the other fun people I first came to know or know of here.) I don't always agree with you, but I don't comment on those parts because the great writing far outweighs the places my opinion diverges from hers. It's just not that important.
The first amendment still stands, last I checked. And for the life of me, especially as one who has suffered post-partum depression herslef, I am horrified that there are still people out there who are so cavalier about motherhood and depression. (not to mention CANCER! in ANY form!)
445. AndreaBT said:
HerSELF. Ugh.
446. TeenSleuth said:
Thanks for the laugh. There's nothing funnier than making fun of crazies.
Also, the number of comments here is RIDONKULOUS.
447. Theora said:
Long time reader, first time commenter.
I'm sure you know this, but for every whiner, there are many more happy and interested readers who lurk, laugh out loud, read your posts to unsuspecting family members, and all around just appreciate you for who you are.
Many thanks for all your words that brighten my day!
448. cardshoppegirl said:
small children throwing temper tantrums sometimes makes me giggle.
big children sending hate mail makes me laugh and cry all at once. kind of like Patrick Swayze in To Wong Foo ... shame.
449. Piglet said:
This amazes me that people even waste their energy on this. These are the people that were on Jerry Springer aren't they? Geesh! And, I thought that show was staged.
More than anything, I am glad you are "ratting" them out so-to-speak. I really hope you never, ever, never, ever take these people to heart. There are many, many Dooce lovers in the world that support, admire, respect and LURVE your blog.
450. Mike-L said:
Now I'm admittedly new to the world of blogs. I neither own a blog, nor do I have a list of blogs I hit on regular basis, nor do I intend to use dooce.com as a springboard to link people to my blog. So maybe I don't get it.
I've hit dooce pretty much every day for the last year. I read it because I appreciate the sarcasm, and laugh at the jokes, and enjoy the stories. I have a wife, and dogs, and a daughter on the way. And I don't even know how dooce "used to be" but I know I love it and sympathize with it now. And Heather is more honest with us than I can be with myself as far as how I feel on a day-to-day basis.
So I don't get it. But I guess people can feel free to say whatever they want...
451. Mike-L said:
No, I change my mind.
Up yours, you stupid, whiny fucks.
A person running a personal blog with ads doesn't owe her audience shit just because there are ads on it. She writes about her life to communicate with like minded people, not to cater to someone's personal taste. I'm sorry if seeing some ads in a corner interfered with your life so much that you feel obligated to be pandered to, but if that's the case you probably live a very easy life. And you'll probably the first ones eaten when the revolution comes.
I mean seriously, that's like saying your wife owes you a blowjob because she said cunnilingus might be fun.
As far as cancer goes. FUCK ALL OF YOU. I won a fight with Leukemia, and I still have the platelet deficiency to prove it. But if you ever, EVER told I didn't have the right to express how the experience scared the shit out of me when I was sick, I would have put my platelet-deficient dick in your eye. And seriously, I haven't heard Heather be anything be brave and honest about what most people would be scared shitless over. And she complains much less about CANCER than you people are about a site YOU VOLUTARILY VISIT. Seriously, don't be the butt-plug that says "that dildo is gross."
Heather, I'll keep visiting if you keep being honest. And hell, maybe I'll click on an ad one day.
-M
452. ksted said:
I know I'm only like number 450 or so to say it but---You rock and those hatemailers can SUCK IT.
453. Heidi said:
If Jon doesn't have West Nile do you guys have any idea what he might be dealing with? I hope he's on his way to a speedy recovery.
Thanks always for making me laugh my ass off.
454. The Wanderer said:
People who have nothing good to say should keep their comments somewhere else. What sort of parents brought you up to leave rude remarks on other people's property? Are you the same guys who leave graffitti in public places and make tax payers clean up after you? vandalise your own blog for f***'s sake.
455. Jennifer in Ohio said:
I know I commented once already- but I was suddenly reminded of a sign my mother keeps in her kitchen...
May those who love us, love us
May those who don't love us, turn their hearts
If you can't turn their hearts, then turn their ankles so we can recognize them by their limping.
I hope Jon feels better soon. It's probably croc poisoning........
456. Liz K said:
The life and times of dooce completely cracks me up. I look forward to your updates, and mostly, your wicked sense of humor.
For what it's worth, I find that when you write about Leta, you have a great way of putting into words exactly those feelings of love and admiration for your daughter that I have for my own. But I get to experience them from a different angle -- yours. For whatever reason you began doing this full time, it seems to me that you've become very successful at it. That's obvious from your great ability to connect with those of us who drop by. Let that be a compliment to you, and don't let the pissers get you down!
457. JessicaRabbit said:
Have you ever thought about printing out all the hate mail so you can wipe your ass with it? Might save you a trip to the grocery store so that you have more free time to abuse your child with sugar and ruin your dogs eyesight with the camera flash.
Then when Leta is hopped up on sugar and Chuck is blinded by the light you can take a little "me time" and get a big bottle of vodka and get smashed and wander around your yard in a big tshirt and no pants until the crew from Cops shows up. When they get there you can throw Jon's clogs at them while he stands on the porch crying because you abuse him mentally by not embracing his clog loving goodness.
That would be awesome.
458. ksted said:
Why don't you post the hatemailers' email addresses on here so your fans can bombard them with 450+ hatemails of our own? That'll teach 'em.
459. Eeyore_784 said:
Dear God Heather your site sucks. Yeah, no not really, love it here, I am not a hatemailer, I just wanted you to read my post to say that I have been here since before Leta and still a faithful reader. Keep up the good work. Not like you needed me to tell ya though right?
460. The Daily Rant said:
I loved this post. I don't know which I find more amusing; the hatemail you choose to post or your responses to them. Still, my favorite of all time (since I started reading your blog) has to be "Email: Best wishes in growing up" from March 8, 2005, which is something I actually emailed to my friends so they could also get a good laugh.
I have yet to find a blog (or site, really) that I enjoy more than yours. And everytime I pass through SLC, I wonder what you, Jon, Leta and Chuck are up to!
Keep up the fantastic job you're doing and keep on with the entertainment you provide to people who actually GET the honest, clever, witty writing and humor that is so you.
Some of us should be as lucky to get so much hatemail. At least we'd know people were visiting AND reading our blog posts!!!
Heather, you DO rock!!
461. CometGirl63 said:
wow, 448 comments. take that haters!
seriously though, why would someone read a site they don't enjoy, and then send an email saying how much they hate it? seriously.
I've been reading dooce.com for about a year, and one thing I love about it is how well you document a glimpse into your life. keep up the good work!!
462. Anna said:
I think you funny.
463. Aimless said:
I can't decide if the hatemailers are ignorant, jealous or possibly both. Half of them appear to have failed to complete their education beyond grade school, while others are upset that you have a successful blog. So, the question is: If you dislike the blog so much why do you read it? Why did you take the time to create an account to log in to comment? What exactly is a physo ward?
I googled 'hater' in the hopes I would get some solid gangsta rap lyrics but got Hilary Duff instead, so in her words: "Don't spit on me and shame yourself Because you wish you were someone else"
464. Natalie said:
I think it is really funny that all these people think that what THEY think about what YOU write should actually matter. And that they continually read your blog if they obviously hate it SO MUCH. They need to seriously re-evaulate their life goals... because they have really screwed up somewhere.
465. CincyGirl said:
Heather:
Interesting for every handful of bitchy people, there are 10 times as many people who love reading what you write. I actually laughed out loud at the comment that you need to stop taking up all the room on the internet. As for the comments about your cancer: how petty can they be to play the my-life-is-harder-than-your-life game? Pathetic. I hope you dont absorb any of their negativity, Heather. You have so much to be jealous of; its a small wonder that people spend their precious free time writing you hate mail. Thanks for all the posts, especially the ones about Leta, Chuck, Mormons and Clogs. :o)
466. Cassie said:
hey heather... what's the record for number of comments on a post? :-)
467. badgervan said:
After reading those demented comments ( obviously repubs ), I now know why george bush II is in our White House. Keep up the superb writing - not all of us can make a living doing what we do very well, and love doing. This is the definition of success. Consider yourself very fortunate. You are very, very good at what you do here.
468. Nancy D. said:
I once told this to someone and she is still unhappy with me for saying this. So I'm hoping it works on your hatemailer....
If you stuck with a simple bowl of ice cream for DESSERT, instead of eating a whole damn DESERT, you prolly wouldn't be overweight.
But then I guess those who keep reading something they clearly don't like, probably can't connect dots very well.
Oh. And I've got that grapefruit tumor beat. (and I won't bore you with the details) Really doesn't bother me much at all if you wanna talk about... well, actually...whatever come to think about it.
469. jennifer said:
holy fucking fuck-wow. i should sue for infringing on my iq, but as my brain's just been punctured by stupid and are now dribbling out my ear and onto the floor, i have no idea where to start. so i won't, but only say that i love when you name your suppositories and then write about them.
470. lucha said:
Hey Heather, I thought you were going to provide us with the addresses of these hatemailers!
471. it's in your underneath said:
I guess the law of averages dictates the number of people who wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning. But what's the likelihood that those SAME people wake up repeatedly on the wrong side AND in a pile of their own vomit AND with a big ole turd in their pants AND no recollection of how many sheep they fucked the night before??? Those people (I use this term lightly), maybe we should call them 1/2 people cause the other 1/2 is ass....anyway, THOSE people must be waking up in this manner to go out of their way to send you hate e-mails concerning your lovely personal blog. They have no love to share cause their pants are full of doody.
472. Haruka said:
Dear Dooce Haters:
Fuck Off.
Sincerely,
Haruka, Fan of Dooce. (no matter what she talks about)
473. NotYourTypicalPastorsWife said:
If you hate it, why read? That's what I wanna know. Get your own blog. Oh, maybe you have your own blog, in which case...
On behalf of all wannabe bloggers, Dooce, please accept my apology for the nonsense. Geez. Unbelievable.
My dad's famous (albeit cheesy) words of advice come to mind at this moment: "Just be yourself...and if they don't like it, let 'em hang it in their ear."
And about Jon...I've lived a good portion of my life in Africa, and if we didn't live in America, I'd say it sounds a whole lot like malaria. Yikes. Hope he feels better soon.
474. Carie said:
Ok.. hmmm. I didn't read all of the other comments so this might be redundant but-
I laughed my ass off at your commentary on the hatemail. Genius! And, really hatemailers. When you come to dooce, which is, and I hate to point this out, but it almsot seems necessary, HEATHER'S website why in the EFF would you think she would write about anything but herself? Why should she have to? It's her damn site, love it or leave it. No one makes you click on the blog. Resist and go terrorize someone else. Morons.
475. honey bunny said:
what the bloody hell is a "physo ward"?? can you get your skin buffed and de-wrinkled there with PhysoDerm or something? wtf?
oh and as a 'obese american', i'd like to thank all that vast, dry, lifeless desert for all these extra pounds. damn it, janet, you ain't too bright, toots.
476. Aravis said:
Personally, I'm of the opinion that if you don't like someone's blog, you don't need to read it. All of those people who complain that you should get a life might try practicing what they preach if they have nothing better to do with their time but repeatedly visit here and bitch.
477. thyvo said:
why do people bother reading your blog if htey hate it so much? they obviously have no lives if they spend their time reading what they hate so much.
keeping blogging. your site cheered me up when i was depressed this week.
478. jessiker said:
Once again, I am amazed at your uncanny ability to turn ignorant, thoughtless drivel into the best part of my day. Thank you. You are my hero. And I think we should all go in on "www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net", because that is freakin' funny!
I love reading about you and your family. I love that you are have such a passion to write about your daughter. And I'm so sorry that John is so sick. I'm thinking healthy thoughts his way.
479. honeybfly said:
Hi Heather,
Finally 'de-lurking.' I am truly amused and amazed by the hate mail. Of the many obligations we have in life, reading blogs are purely optional. The effort expended to write any of those notes could have been saved with a simple mouse click. Go figure. I was in SLC for the first time on a business trip last month and all I wanted to do was meet you, Jon, Leta and Chuck. I admire you because you do the one thing my creative writing degree doesn't do: motivate me to write everyday. You are a ROCKSTAR!
480. misstraceynolan said:
"Grapfruit ON IT!" is my new fave thing to say. Thanks!
481. Romi said:
i love the fact that Jon gropes you even in sickness. how's that for true love? ;o)
482. Joanne Viskup said:
H
I know you have recieved a ton of support today, but hell, you deserve it! So here's more of the same...
It's all about the love people! It's so obvious that you live in a house full of love and I feel privileged that you share so much of it with us. Thank you for continuing in spite of the haters.
Fellow supportive commenters: Please let's make "asshat" THE thing to say. Let's get that term out there people. It's just too damn good.
Let's get ON IT!
J
483. Chuckles said:
Meh. The ones who accuse you of having no life amuse me. Their life is critiqueing someone who does? Clearly you have achieved success as a foremost female blogger and thererfore you need justify yourself to no one.
On top of that you are an interesting and FUNNY writer. Keep it up, girl.
484. tripstothepark said:
I love your blogs! Don't listen! They're spawn! Your blogs are my "little treats" for making it through another day! Rotton people! Your commentary on the daily things in this life are precious and hysterical at the same time! Only pure genious can make you want to cry and laugh so hard you almost pee yourself! It's a great ab workout, maybe whats-her-head "desert" lady should try it!
485. Laura said:
I love hatemailers.
They make me realise what I not want to be when I grow up.
486. Melissa said:
bitches, man!
487. Kissyface said:
What I love about the hatemailers is that they are, in a sense, completely tone deaf. You "whine" about your sewer line? Sure, but the point is, you make the mundane hilarious via exaggeration. I thought you seemed relatively calm about your cancer, you just blew off some steam. I will never tire of Chuck photos (this is where I propose you let me have him, just one more time). Finally, if you ever stop writing about that precious baby of yours, with all the realness, love and hilarity you scribe herein, I will at that time protest your blog.
488. jenlovely said:
i dunno how you read hatemail all the time. i'd just ban the IP address and solve their problems for them.
489. luvsgod7 said:
Tsk tsk, hatemailers. Get a sense of humor. Quit taking out your self-loathing and bitterness on dooce.
Please dooce, don't ever change. We love you just the way you are, clog-talk and all. Some people just can't appreciate you like the rest of us do. Don't let them get you down.
490. shel said:
so, last time i checked....a blog was a place for a person to write whatever the hell they wanted. a blog was a place to not give a shit what anyone who read it thought.
if the fuckers don't like what you have to say then why do they keep coming back? i'm betting money that they go to other blogs and bitch and moan just as they did here.
they are truly all craptacular asshats.
491. Tiff said:
Wow.
You know what all those emails lacked? Mature critique.
A lot of things were said on their part that is really not needed.
492. shelby mayor said:
Whoa...that was fun, can we read more? Really entertaining. They all need a big bong hit, or a straight shot or something...better yet, a good groping!
493. babyk102982 said:
Just officially delurking to say I think I love you. In a totally non stalker sort of way.
494. CynicalDog said:
This is my first ever comment here, and I'd like to say that I enjoyed this entry immensely. I'd also like to tell hate-mailer Janet that I moved to the "desert" to try to combat stress, and I think it helps! So, if Dooce is suggesting people "treat stress in their live with a desert", then I must concur.
(Is anyone else surprised that Janet wrote an email filled with spelling and grammatical errors, yet still used the proper form of "their" and "it's"?)
495. dll0630 said:
Ok- I had to respond to this entry. I love reading your blog. The pictures of your daughter are beautiful and I think sharing the experience of parenting her is interesting. Chuck is a striking dog-I liked the recent post and link about balancing treats on his head. I appreciated your sharing and bringing to light how skin cancer affects people of all ages. I have to laugh when you give us the blunt "this is how it is" with Jon- thank goodness he doesn't have West Nile. What you do is an art, a gift, talent- it's great and I will keep reading as long as you keep blogging.
496. Mish said:
wow, you have over 300,000 ads i have never seen! You are trying to make $ off this thing? How dare you to force people to click on ads, shamefull. I mean I have been reading since b4 Leta was born and I never read anything about jon quitting his job b/c your site could support the family and Leta gets a whole stay at home family - how selfish. For real - I love the Leta monthy posts and I have NO children. You do post a lot of pictures of Chuck but about once a week i take like 20 pics of my 2 dogs and 2 cats :). And depression - fucking idiot who just says suck it up. I have quite wealthy wonderful parents, a beach front 26 floor condo and i pretty much hate my life most every day. About the cancer on your arm - the nerve to be scared about one of the scariest things i can imagine.
Shamefull
497. girl called phil said:
i'm loving the hate mail.
I'm curious about the demographics of the site. I glossed over some of the comments and read a few references to how people don't fit the mom-dogowner-mormon-married demographic; I got curious about the general profiles of a readership this large. I don't know whether you care enough, but any thoughts on doing a simple poll?
498. Mish said:
i forgot - your hate mail makes me feel sorry for these people w/ so much negative energy. But they make me LOL. They are clearly lunatics - dont let them get to you
499. jenlyn said:
as a fellow cancer survivor, i hereby grant you the right to deal with your equally valid cancer in any way which you so choose.
if i hadn't laughed about things such as being radioactive as part of my treatment, i would've just given up.
500. jenlyn said:
as a fellow cancer survivor, i hereby grant you the right to deal with your equally valid cancer in any way which you so choose.
if i hadn't laughed about things such as being radioactive as part of my treatment, i would've just given up.
501. Seren said:
(I finally worked out how to register. Only took me several months! LOL!!)
Just to let you know, my husband loves the Chuck pics. I always tell him when you've posted new ones and they brighten up his day no end! We both love that daft dog of yours, he has the most expressive face. And I love reading about Leta, so more please. Glad you're taking no notice of those silly people.
My daughter had skin cancer on her back when she was 16. That was terrifying, so yes, you talk about it all you want. Thankfully she's been fine since it was cut out and I'm glad you are too. The internet would not be so much fun without our daily dose of Dooce!
502. kim from germany said:
okay janet, now why would it be unhealthy to "gain wait" ? i really don't understand...
it's so amazing to see how those people don't seem to have enough of a life to simply not come back if they hate your site that much. i just do not GET hatemail. as in, i don't understand the concept of hatemail. how unhappy and jealous and sad does a person have to be to send someone they don't even know mail like that? i read about it but i really, really don't GET IT...
so please, someone, one of you above mentioned emailers, explain it to me. please...?
503. Quixotic said:
I think there is something in the idea that what you do/say to other people you actually do/say to yourself.
So much negative energy being directed in hatemail - quite sad.
Have only been reading your blog for a short while, but have enjoyed every minute. :-)
504. Kelly Stoetzel said:
These people are just plain crazy. There is an infinite amount of content on the internet. If they don't like yours then why in the hell do they keep coming back?
505. san said:
I REALLY don't get it either... some people just have such an unhappy life that they need to find blogs on ther Internet that they don't like and send hatemail to the author... pathetic!
506. san said:
I REALLY don't get it either... some people just have such an unhappy life that they need to find blogs on the Internet that they don't like and send hatemail to the author... pathetic!
507. Everyday Stranger said:
Wait, they make ranch-flavored rice cakes?
I may never leave the house again.
508. kimmae said:
Here's the thing about your blog. Somehow u make normal look cool. So, on those days when i'm just hangin out at home w/ my 4 year old (who does drive me crazy sometime), and the effing dryer stops working, and my husband grabs my butt, I read your blog and feel pretty damn cool.
509. Wayne said:
1. There's something very artful about the way you document your life. You make it look easy, and that's part of the artfulness, maybe.
2. I was in a design crisis (and in some ways I still am) but your link to free fonts (not an ad!) saved me. Thanks!
3. Is "artfulness" a word? It probably shouldn't be.
4. I've clicked on some ads here, with useful results. One or two have helped me with products I was interested in. So, you know, ads aren't all from Satan. Maybe. Anyway, it's wonderful that blogging has become a thing that supports your family, and I don't know why anyone would begrudge you that.
5. I'm not sure why I put this comment in list form.
510. marian said:
I guess there really are some good things about having only 63 readers. Thanks for reminding me...
511. Nikki said:
It's extremely pitiful that people actually take the time and put forth the effort to send emails like that.
Heath, I think it's time you put together a post entitled "How To Use The Internet", and mention that one does NOT have to visit certain websites, if those websites do not appeal to them.
Oh, and possibly include this link:
http://www.namaii.com/readme/ Becaue it certainly applies.
Here are a few of my favorite statements you'll find there:
"The internet is a place that encourages free and creative expression, and as in any environment where people are given this freedom, conflict may arise. If an author uses language or materials that offend you, leave. Contacting the person or their isp, demanding they remove the content or change their ways is absurd because you are viewing their content of your own free will by visiting their site. Simply stop going there and you won't have to see whatever it is you don't like about the site"
"Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their weblog on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves"
"Whatever opinion you form on them as people, or their life as a whole, is probably best kept to yourself. Remember, you are the reader. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were asking for advice or opinions."
512. trinny said:
Bloody hell! Who ARE those hatemailing drongos?!!
You're ace Heather.
Dooce Rules! Long live Dooce!
513. Mocha said:
Oh, God. I hope those people don't stop visiting you. That would be so tragic. They should visit every day, refreshing their pages until, like, their fingers TOTALLY hurt and their eyeballs are popping out of their heads and they are furious with you to the point of e-mailing you.
Because, really. We'd miss the Exclamation Point Series. It's oh so fun.
514. Janine Fazzolari said:
I am new to your site and I enjoy reading your blog entries. I cannot believe how many people hate you. It is absurd! You write a blog...... which is a personal journal. So whatever you write is well, personal to YOU. I don't think these people should say all those hateful things to you. If you want to write about your family, dog... whatever... you should. All those supposed hate mailers are probably just jealous because they aren't as successful as you.
I know what I am saying is nothing new but I just wanted to put my two cents in. I think your blog is fine the way it is. And like the old saying goes, if you don't like something.... then don't view it. So suck a fat one hate mailers!! :)
Getting off my soapbox........Bye! :)
515. Jaxie said:
For the record, I want you to know that I watched your video of jerky-balancing on Chuck's head and I immediately grabbed my dog and attempted to make him sit so I could do the same. Needless to say, Chuck's much more patient than my dog. I love Chuck...keep posting the pictures (I like Leta, too...and the clogs) I actually enjoy the entire site, and check it daily...even before I check the blogs of people I actually know!
Thanks!
516. Liza Lee Miller said:
Wow! People can be so ugly.
Anyway, I enjoy your blog. I don't find your cancer nor your sewer lines dull. I fully enjoy your posts about Leta. Chuck is cute.
And, here's the really cool thing . . . if I don't want to read about any of it . . . I can choose to go somewhere else!
Man, if they hate your life. I shudder to think what they would think about mine. I posted pics of my kid's pulled teeth! Oh well. . .
517. OwenH said:
Good Morning,
Never ever have I taken the effort to sign in and leave a comment, but this hateful ugly communication motivated me. So sorry you have to read these terrible comments! Are you truly able to shrug this off? Anyway thanks for making me smile!
518. Meggleberry said:
Well done Heather! You've finally pushed me over the edge and into registering so that I, too, can say that these hatemailers are a bunch of useless tossers!
It was a lucky day for me when I stumbled across Dooce.com - you, Jon, Leta and the absolutely gorgeous Chuckie never fail to amuse me, even though my child and dog raising days are well behind me.
And someone needs to let the half-wits commenting on your parenting skills know that it is, actually,... NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS! The fact that you write about it on the internet for the amusement and edification of your loyal readers does not over-ride this basic rule of life! Only the terminally stupid cannot see that their hateful comments tell us more about their sad selves than it does about you.
And believe me, I was treating stress with Nutella, long before I read about it here! Give us SOME credit.
519. The Bold Soul said:
I think all your hatemailers -- not just Bill -- could use a good icewater enema because clearly they are constipated physically, emotionally and spiritually. It never ceases to amaze me how blog readers take blogs so personally and think they can dictate what the blog author should write about. Get a clue, oh ye clueless: blogs are like television -- if you don't like what you see, change the channel and don't bother coming back. I suspect you are the kind of people who have no lives and nothing better to do than surf the internet looking for blogs to criticize, so please feel free to stop by my blog any time and rip me a new one for being single and over 45, for complaining about the details of my life, for being overweight, or for my liberal political views. I could use a good laugh.
520. timmit said:
Why not post an email love-fest from those who send you supportive emails? We worship and adore you, you talented mother, you. We won't be IGNORED, Heather ...
My biggest concern is for Bill who feels the need to compare Mommys to "whores." He has some serious issues at work. God bless the woman or man that ends up with Bill. My guess is there's duct tape and nylon rope in their future.
Keep writing. We need it.
521. minxlj said:
I just love the fact that the people sending this hatemail, whinging about why they don't like the site yadda yadda yadda...are actually repeatedly coming back to this site and reading it. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, FUCK OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Personally I love reading blogs and having an insight on someone else's life. Someone else's interesting life, I might add. If I visit a website and don't like it, I go somewhere else, and I have waaaaay better things to do than send out bitchy hatemail if I don't like these sites. People who waste their time doing that, I agree just need a good one up the pooper. That would sort them out :-)
522. mdstblz said:
whogivesashitaboutmykidsexceptme
Did any anyone else read this to say"
who gives a shit about my kid sex cept me...
I can't believe someone thinks a website about their child and sex would be OK, I mean, really... or I suppose it could be about how they or their child is completely unaware that it is either female or male and no one cares ... but that is probably because all the stories only take place at the doctors office, or your backyard as they discuss it with Chuck.
There are a few other variations I imagine...
But I am starting to think that "They who sent overly frequent hatemail to Heather" (said in the same whispered voice as one might in that harry potter series) are doing so only to get their comments into one of your mastheads?
You might consider having a contest among them?
523. TiffanyS said:
Oh my God. I had to post a comment. I couldn't stop myself. I'm in a panic.
PLEASE DON'T STOP CHUCK FRIDAYS!!!!!!!!
They are the only thing that allows me to survive my soul-sucking job. They are the only spot of brightness in the abyss.
Also, as a professional dog trainer (that's not the soul-sucking job - I only wish I could make enough to do it full time!) - I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chuck is adorable and shows remarkable self-control. I love him. I even had a dream once that I was dog-sitting him, and we snuggled and had lots of fun together while you and Jon were out. It was the best dream of my life!
Clearly, for the sake of all that is good, you must not stop Chuck Fridays.
524. TiffanyS said:
Oh my God. I had to post a comment. I couldn't stop myself. I'm in a panic.
PLEASE DON'T STOP CHUCK FRIDAYS!!!!!!!!
They are the only thing that allows me to survive my soul-sucking job. They are the only spot of brightness in the abyss.
Also, as a professional dog trainer (that's not the soul-sucking job - I only wish I could make enough to do it full time!) - I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chuck is adorable and shows remarkable self-control. I love him. I even had a dream once that I was dog-sitting him, and we snuggled and had lots of fun together while you and Jon were out. It was the best dream of my life!
Clearly, for the sake of all that is good, you must not stop Chuck Fridays.
525. ortizzle said:
Seems as though the main thing bugging the hatemailers is the fact that you make a living from your blog, and they believe that this somehow gives readers the right to dictate the content of your posts and decide how you should live your life. What a concept ;-)
Thanks for sharing this. (I can't help wondering if any of these pathetic people have their own blogs?! If they do, I bet they're *very* entertaining...)
526. TiffanyS said:
Oops, posted twice. I just feel that strongly about it!
527. frankensoul said:
It is my observation that those who leave hate mails typically seem uneducated and lack exposure to the real world. Let's not mention jealousy here either, even though your hatemail clearly drips with flavors of "I hate myself because I am not clearly as cool as Heather because no one WANTS to stay near me to help me raise my child" or "I would rather have my child be mal-adjusted than intelligent, social, and ahead of the game by having a lone care-giver who never gets a break."
Of course, I can think of nothing more fruitful than emailing a blogger and telling her what a P.O.S. she is when I, myself, have all of life figured out and NEVER make mistakes because I am perfect enough to judge.
*yawn*
You're doing a great job Heather. Scroom.
528. kalisah said:
There's a saying in AA: "Ya spot it, ya got it" - meaning that the things we find the most annoying, the most offensive in others, tend to be the traits that we ourselves need to be working on.
I couldn't help but think that as I read these attacks on you about how you should not be a stay-at-home mom, making a living as a 21st-century columnist, with domestic help and all the time in the world to spend with your family.
Who DOESN'T want that for themselves?
I guess with some people, that kind of extreme envy turns into bitter anger. I prefer to look at your life as hope for writers everywhere.
529. sparrow said:
I haven't read all the comments to see if you've held a gun to anyone's head to make them read your blog, Heather. It is quite possible and that I've missed all that.
Reading your blog has become so much a part of my day that I don't like weekends anymore (you have to take some time off). By Sunday I miss you, Jon, Leta, and Chuck so much I am ready to...no, THAT will never happen.
I am probably echoing a zillion fans saying, "Don't worry about the hatemailers"...it gives the rest (who care) something to get irate about.
530. Natalia said:
Dear Hatemailers,
If you hate Heather so much, why do you STALK her blog? If I'm not mistaken, stalking makes you her fan - acutually, a most dedicated fan. And being the dedicated fan that you are, you somehow feel the need to send her mail; hate or not, it's fanmail.
And as you assume more and more to tell her how to live her life, more and more you look like a complete jackass.
-Natalia
531. southerngirl said:
Aren't hateful people fun! These types of wonderfully supportive missives are the reason I stopped blogging. There are too many very screwed up, yet very vocal, people out there. It's so easy to be hateful in anonimity.
I admire your courage in keeping your wonderful, insightful, and beautifully written blog going.
And my heart goes out to Jon. A couple of years ago I got caught up in the insanity that is known as the American medical system for a mysterious painful illness that no one could figure out, despite doctors even removing a body part that I subsequently discovered did not need removing. (No wonder they call it "practicing" medicine.)
After seeing all the specialists with no diagnosis forthcoming, I was talking to my GP about another matter and he said my symptoms clearly meant I had X. And I did. Not one specialist in six months had ever even mentioned the real illness.
I told my husband that if I ever get really sick again, I am stepping in front of a bus.
532. LisaS said:
I thought the purpose of a personal blog (ahem correct me if I'm wrong you lousy hate-mailers) was to be able to WRITE about anything you wanted to write about. What in God's name are you reading DOOCE for if you think she's boring? How lame is that?
533. Jerry Pounds said:
Heather,
I think interspersing shockingingly obscene comments about your private life with comforting narratives about domestic events is creating an audience. Having a horny husband seems to be a major attraction as well.
I like to read your blog because you have an aggressive sense of humor; kind of like a Richard Pryor and Harriet Nelson hybrid. Your kind of a kick-ass woman with an apron. Please keep writing the shocking narratives.
534. MA Dog Mom said:
I love how the repeat hate mailers all rant about how YOU need to get a life. Hee.
By the way, Heather: if you ever stop posting pictures of Chuck on a regular basis, I will throw myself off a cliff. MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS.
535. whisper_lover said:
Wow, Heather...
500+ comments?
You have 500+ people rallying around you...!
Incredible!
536. Lily said:
I'm actually offended by Anonymous Chicken Liver. "Leta is trying to figure out who is the mom..."
Because not one but BOTH parents are there to raise her.
I seriously want to kick her in the vagina for even thinking stupid shit like that.
537. Kristine said:
There are ads on this site? You're shittin' me?
538. PixieMegh said:
I'm not gonna even TRY to read all the comments ahead of me. Heather, you're a talented writer, I love what you talk about, you've got a wonderful family and I love your photos of Chuck. You're the greatest, and thanks for always making me laugh out loud.
539. missandrea said:
I agree with Rockr Girl and love, LOVE the hate mail posts. My personal favorite hater is Bill. Are hookers really a dime a dozen?
540. Gator Wreslin' Mama said:
Okay--I see that I am 549 or something in this, but I HAVE TO (it is now the "in" style to capitalize TWO WORDS to emphasize your point---lol) comment. I guess the hate-mailers never heard the phrase "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" because they're not practicing it. I think you are a wonderful writer, I love your page and read it every time you post a new message. If people don't like what you have to say, then they need to shut up and move on. And I think it's cruel for ANYONE to compare their "cancer" with what you are going through! And then there are those who think they can offer you advice like "don't have any more kids" or "tell your husband to do this or that"---blah, blah, blah! Just do like "Dad Gone Mad" and tell them to "Shut their pieholes!" LOL! YOU have a nice day and the haters can all move to another blog space (NOT MINE, Please!) to do their hatin'.
Jody in Mississippi (I'm still standin'....)
541. fakeblonde99 said:
I love, love, love the hatemail posts. I just laughed out loud for the first time today. Print more please!
542. Anu said:
It's amazing to see how bitter 'Anonymous Chicken Liver' is with her life. I pity whoever lives with her (especially her kids) because people with so much hatered in their hearts are the reason we have so many sweet kids growing into messed up adults.
543. Christine said:
Wholly cow there are some haters out there. It cracks me up that they are all like "you should do this and post about that" and yet they continue to read. Does somebody send them emails telling them how to do their job? See that big "X" up in the right hand corner. Click it people. Those 10 minutes spent writing the perfect hate email could have been spent sucking down poison apples or climbing in the tub with an electric toaster. For the love of God, get a hobby that doesn't involve hating on other people. Perhaps watch a little more reality TV.
544. Hemlock said:
My question is: If hatemailers dislike you so much, why do they keep returning to your site? To find things to hatemail you about??
Move on. Allow the rest of us, who appreciate dooce.com, to visit this site in peace.
545. meredith said:
Those people are weird.
546. Weetzie said:
Let me preface by saying that I am not a mother, not a wife, and most cetainly not a seller of Avon (or any other "from home" product for that matter). I am the ripe, young age of 19. I have a scarce amount of things alike with Heather; like being born from someone's womb, and living in Utah, that's about it though. Yet, with all of these factors I am still able to read Dooce and thoroughly enjoy it.
In conclusion,
"everybody talkin
all these haters halkin
paparitizy stalkin
taken pictures while im walking
damn can a bitch breath
give me room please
u aint payin my bills
so u aint sayin nothin
aint keepin it real
and u need to stop frontin"
-Li'l Kim
547. SurprisingWoman said:
I am just like everyone else on here. I love Chuck. I tried it with my dog and bacon. She does okay, but she is no Chuck.
I too live in Utah so I don't like to cuss in public overly much. I use the rhyming cockney type slang...
Two peas in a bucket.
(fuck it)
548. Christina Shaver said:
I think your hate mail is funny. Thanks for sharing.
549. jackr said:
Hate-mail recidivism, how quaint!
This, in a world that includes
http://www.i-want-a-pony.com/
and
http://bunnycry.ytmnd.com/
I dunno about you, but I think The Great Clog Wars, or Turkey Bacon on Chuck's Head is *way* more socially redeeming than those!
550. Wacky Mommy said:
re: "How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert?"
Dear Miss Dooce,
I am stressed and I want some desert. Maybe a Baked Alaska or a piece of Snickers pie? Can I order one off your website? Now I'm going to go mommyblog in the hopes of making someone puke, what was it? Ricecakes and Capri Sun? all over his keyboard. Ta-ta for now, lovey.
Yours,
Wacky Mommy
551. catslye said:
I too, think your hate mail is funny...well, not funny that you receive it, what fuckwits!, but yes, hilariously funny to read, thanks for sharing.
552. AngelaVan said:
It's naptime on Saturday afternoon and I am too lazy to come up with a witty, cutting remark for my first ever comment on DOOCE (and yeah, that's how I think of you, in all caps and sometimes with neon lights around it). But basically, you rock, and they can all either a) suck it b) blow it out their a**es c) shut their pieholes or d) all of the above. Your choice. Personally I prefer D.
553. nobledesign said:
Dooce, Queen of the Blog Universes, plural, such is her greatness.
The photos this week have that marvelous vintage shooting through an old camera viewfinder thang that Kottke mentioned a few days ago. Hoping you'll 'splain how you're doin' it...
554. Kirsty said:
My partner gets like that when he's sick too. He used to reckon that the best cure for a cold was to go to bed, shag or wank lots then pile on the blankets and sweat it out for a day or so. Oddly enough, it seemed to work and I guess it was certainly more enjoyable than lots of lemsip.
555. ms.Tea said:
writing about things that interest you, in your own blog...whatta you crazy?!?
love your blog, you rock!
556. semisocial said:
SHENUTS.COM CONQUERS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
down with verymom :(
up with the dooce :)
557. Lynnlaw said:
Snickers is running an ad campaign here in New York and all over the city the cabs have mini banner/billboards atop that read simply:
Nougatocity.
Surely this is your doing, Heather, my friends and I all think so. New Dooce banner/heading aside, you have made the world think about nougat in a completely new and positive way and that backhands every bad thing that ANYONE could ever say to or about you.
Screw all the negativity and stupidity in these emails. Nougatocity will prevail every time!
558. Katie said:
I think your site rules, Heather. I find it interesting despite the fact that I don't have any of the following: a 2 year old, a husband, a dog, or a family member who owns a pair of clogs. I actually came here today to tell you that a quote of yours was on my personalized Google page under "Quote of the Day". You and Richard Gere are my quotes of the day, and yours was a lot better than his.
Anyway, you keep on keeping on and don't listen to all the idiots who send you hatemail.
559. gideon said:
I have never commented before, but now it's time.
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard over your post.
I keep forgetting and perhaps you should remind yourselves too that we definitely do NOT live in a free country - you know a place where freedom of speech is allowed, people can earn a living however they choose, have more than one baby & keep it even if it's not a boy, etc...
The hatemailers should really start their own blog, because talk about some entertaining information they write to you!! Or if they won't, keep up the hatemailer posts - perhaps this could become your "thursday posts."
Keep up the awesome work - I love your blog and photography.
I used to work at Avon and a co worker turned me onto your site. I got hooked! And yes, I knew your mom - she's awesome. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with all of my leftover Avon shampoos... ;)
560. Suebob Davis said:
First, I know the comments are rude and mean, but I get a great laugh out of them, so thank you for providing them as a public service.
Second, these folks seem to have confused you with some type of service-oriented business that needs to dish up what they want, when they want. Too bad for them that you have the kind of business where you can say "Fuck you" whenever YOU want.
Third, "you’ve had so much help and people step in when you failed you missed so much of what your daughter had to give." Um...is the commenter saying that people SHOULDN'T help you raise your child? Not even your husband or Leta's grandparents? Ok, then. Perhaps this would be better accomplished if you and Leta cloistered yourself in a singlewide mobile home in the mountains of Utah, lest you accidentally receive some childcare assistance. Because everyone knows that mothers are the only people equipped to care for children, and they must do it SOLO lest they miss something the child has to give...My head hurts.
561. tgears said:
Mrs. Heather B.
I'm always amazed at the outright stupidity of people. I read your blog regularly. I find it amussing. I like to hear about Leta. I even cried a little when you were posting about Leta's physical therapy and posted the picture of her walking in the kitchen (I think I remember it correctly). You make us readers feel what you feel, and many time shake our heads in empathy with you.
I'm sure that our politics are vastly different, me being a Reagan/Limbaugh republican, but I like to visit here and laugh and see what is happening at dooce. I even check out Jon's site now and then.
To your detractors, I say get a life. Don't be so serious all the time. Enjoy life and kids and dogs and busted pipes. We all go through our trials and we all dump on our friends when the crap hits the fan. I'm a distant friend of dooce and she is just getting things off her chest.
Jon will feel much better if he will let blood flow to areas that ail him.
562. MAMayer said:
Best blog on the internet! Love every aspect ... beautiful Leta, funny Chuck, cloggy Jon ... thanks!
563. MissDirected said:
Two quick things. One, I LOVE Chuck Fridays. And two, I love that Janet is worried about you advising people to treat life's stress "with a desert." I don't know about you, but that just sounds gritty to me.
564. jackr said:
Dang! I just wish those of us who love the site were as funny as the hate-mailers!
I am SOOOOOOOO JEALOUS!!!!
(Is it funnier if I spell it "JELOSE"?)
565. lucybird said:
i think you are great, funny and great.
damn the man. or woman.
keep blogging.
s
566. jme said:
Heather - the pomposity and silliness of these people is great entertainment! Please post more hatemail! Maybe in addition to Chuck Fridays, we can have Asshat Wednesdays!
Asshat Wednesdays would be mutually beneficial. Not only is it a great venting opportunity for you, I get to enjoy the feeling that there are so many people out there who are more tactless, inappropriate , and illiterate than me!
567. Gooseberried said:
Well...
I think you, your blog, Leta, Jon and Chuck are absolutely fabulous. In fact, you are a straight-up suavemaster. Seriously, I never could have created my own site if it wasn't for you. You are a very talented writer, your family is gorgeous and your blog is amazing. Whenever I'm having a total shitty day, all I have to do to cheer myself up is read your site. It makes me laugh and I guess in a way, Dooce.com is my medicine. I honestly really appreciate the efforts you have put forth for this site. Keep on truckin' dude.
568. MrsWheeler03 said:
People have way too much time on their hands, if they are sending you hate mail. Clearly they have no sense of humor.
I think your blog is hilarious. I never miss an entry. You have a wonderful writing style and a sharp wit!
ps. I love your dog! Your kid is cute too :)
569. Piggy said:
Maybe it's just me, but I thought that in America we have the priveledge to not read a website that we have no interest in......
I happen to love your blog Heather, keep it up
570. Kelly S. said:
It is too bad some folks check back in to see if you have gone back to the person you once were. If one is to evolve, they are often changed by life experiences. Depression changes a person. So does motherhood, cancer, self-employment, additional support, etc. It is wonderful that you have so much love in your life and a paid outlet to express your life experiences.
I learned recently from The Millionaire Next Store that over 75% of all millionaires in this country are self-employed. I'm self-employed, too, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Not too long from now, we'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Take that all you dooce-hating bigots.
571. OnePart said:
I'm sure you ask yourself this everyday, but why don't these people read something else? What joy do they get out of submitting semi-coherant messages to a blog they read but don't enjoy reading? So if you people are reading this and don't like reading it, for the love of spandex, STOP. So, please, more posts about chuck, leta, and clogs v. flip-flops. We love you dooce!!